Podcast Summary: The Turning – Season 3, Episode 12: "Postscript: Christa"

Podcast: The Turning: River Road (Rococo Punch & iHeartPodcasts)
Air Date: September 9, 2025
Episode: S3:EP12 – Postscript: Christa
Host: Erica Lance
Guest: Krista (former member of River Road Fellowship)

Overview

This episode of "The Turning: River Road" serves as a reflective postscript, focusing on Krista's voice and her lived experience within the River Road Fellowship, a notorious Minnesota cult led by Victor Barnard. Through an intimate conversation with host Erica Lance, Krista discusses the experience of having her story publicly told alongside Lindsay (the season’s main survivor), the complexities of memory and narrative, and the ongoing journey of personal healing after cult life. The episode goes deep on how survivors process trauma, the nuances of community abuse, differing survivor perspectives, and the long, painful but hopeful process of rebuilding a life after escaping extremism.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Impact of Hearing & Sharing One’s Story Publicly

• Liberation Through Storytelling: Krista describes the feeling of having her story, and Lindsay's, shared in the podcast as “liberating.” She notes how validating it is to have their voices heard simultaneously and to compare similarities and differences in their stories.
  • “It feels liberating...It feels very validating honestly.” (Krista, 03:12)
• Imposter Syndrome and Memory: She discusses the gaslighting survivors endure and the relief of having her reality affirmed through another’s parallel account.
• Disconnect with Other Survivors: Krista notes that despite overlapping experiences, she and Lindsay barely knew each other inside the group and processed things differently.

2. Multiple Realities Within Cult Communities

• Different Experiences of the Same Group: Krista observes how members had varied perceptions of River Road—some, like her mother, focused on “good memories” and were unable or unwilling to see the underlying abuse.
  • “She just wants to remember the good things. I don’t fault her for it...but I really didn’t [have that frame of reference].” (Krista, 07:06)
• Denial, Memory, and Disagreement: Not all ex-members agree on what took place—notably around issues like whether young people were moved as “spies.” Krista and Lindsay recall these dynamics differently, but Krista clarifies that the culture of reporting and surveillance was real, even if not always explicit.
  • “It was a conditioning. It was a manipulation to be foot soldiers to report back what they saw—and they absolutely did do that.” (Krista, 12:32)
• Family Responses: Her mother wants to focus on positive memories and her sister refuses to engage with the podcast, instead choosing to “leave the past in the past.” Krista finds this both understandable and isolating.

3. The Mechanics of Cult Control

• Creation of Insular Groups & Shifting Status: Krista describes various subgroups within the cult—Shepherd’s Corps, Maidens, Auriga’s Band, Gilead Gamblers—and how status was both granted and revoked by Victor to control young members.
  • “It became a name only really...you never really knew what it meant.” (Krista, 21:45)
• Gendered Oppression: Women were far more regulated than men in matters of dress, behavior, and freedom of movement.
  • “Women were absolutely different, expected to be quieter, more submissive…the rule of walking in twos only applied to women and girls.” (Krista, 24:33)

4. Recognizing the Cult for What It Was

• Krista reflects on the moment she first acknowledged (to herself and aloud) that River Road was a cult—adopting the label internally before using it to explain her situation to an outsider.
  • “I kind of always just had it in the back of my head that yes, we were a cult, but we were like the ‘good kind’ of cult… when it was solidified was when I watched the story with Jess and Lindsay…that was when it solidified for me.” (Krista, 29:20)
• Red Flags: She outlines classic markers of cults—especially isolation and the presence of a charismatic authority figure who replaces individual free will.

5. The Aftermath: Healing, Setbacks & Growth

• Early Pain: After leaving, Krista describes feeling lost—struggling with basic decisions, emotional regulation, substance abuse, and toxic relationships.
  • “I didn’t know how to be a person…I didn’t know what to eat, I knew nothing.” (Krista, 43:38)
• Seeking and Finding Support: Key turning points included reaching out to a former clergy member who validated her grievances, entering recovery from alcoholism, seeking therapy, and slowly building a community and healthy relationships.
• Faith Deconstructed: Krista’s journey with religion evolved. After initially rejecting religion, she reclaimed faith on her own terms, viewing God as loving rather than punitive.
  • “I started realizing that my god was a god of love and a god of healing...and that the people who said that they were acting in God’s name were false prophets…liars.” (Krista, 48:55)

6. Lasting Effects—and Signs of Hope

• Ongoing Struggles: Krista remains in therapy, particularly around disordered eating rooted in cult life. A moment of self-realization listening to the podcast helped her seek help.
• Parenting as Healing: She finds profound healing in watching her young daughter grow up fearlessly, determined to safeguard her from the abuses Krista endured.
  • “I think Maddie is everything that I would have been had I not had my entire personality beat out of me at a young age…I’m just so happy for her that nobody’s ever gonna take that from her.” (Krista, 51:24)
• Words of Encouragement for Other Survivors: Krista urges listeners that healing is hard, messy, but real and possible.
  • “Healing is available. It is hard and it’s messy but it can happen. You don’t have to hurt forever.” (Krista, 53:01)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Liberation & Validation
  • “It feels liberating...especially to have my voice and Lindsay's voice heard simultaneously and being able to hear the differences but also the similarities in our stories. It feels very validating honestly.”
    – Krista (03:12)
• On Cult Label Realization
  • “I kind of always just had it in the back of my head that yes, we were a cult, but we were like the good kind of cult...when it was solidified was when I originally watched the story with Jess and Lindsay and they talked about it as being a cult. That was when it solidified for me.”
    – Krista (29:20)
• Red Flags in Cults
  • “A big one is isolation. If they are telling you that you can’t talk to your family or your friends…that is cult red flag 101 in my opinion…The main thing people need to look out for.”
    – Krista (31:09)
• On Hope and Healing
  • “I want people to know that healing is available. It is hard and it’s messy but it can happen. You don’t have to hurt forever. It’s available to have a happy life.”
    – Krista (53:01)
• On Victor Bernard’s Mugshot
  • “He looked weak, he looked thin and sickly, he was missing a tooth, he looked small. And I looked at him and I said that’s who he is—that’s who he always was underneath the guise of what he tried to portray to us—he’s small and weak and ugly and man that felt good.”
    – Krista (53:01)

Important Timestamps

• 03:12 – Krista discusses the liberating feeling of having her story told.
• 06:38 – Reflections on the varied experiences and memories of River Road members.
• 12:32 – Krista explains the culture of surveillance and “reporting” within the group.
• 18:54 – Life at the Melita property and details about Shepherd’s Corps.
• 24:33 – Gender differences in control—Krista describes rules for women versus men.
• 29:20 – Krista recounts the process of internally and externally labeling River Road as a cult.
• 31:09 – Warning signs and red flags for cult-like environments.
• 33:29 – The struggle for narrative integrity and frustration with media coverage.
• 41:24 – The first turning points after leaving the group, seeking validation.
• 43:38 – Krista’s emotional and functional struggles immediately post-escape.
• 48:55 – The rebuilding of faith and how personal tragedies led to renewed belief and healing.
• 50:24 – Ongoing struggles, especially with disordered eating.
• 51:24 – Krista’s joy in her daughter’s fearless spirit as personal healing.
• 53:01 – Krista’s message on healing and taking power back from Victor Barnard.

Final Thoughts

This poignant, reflective conversation provides both an important historical record and a roadmap for trauma recovery. Krista’s narrative resists easy closure, holding complexity—joy beside pain, hope beside loss, and the ongoing tension of survivor memories. Her message is ultimately one of self-compassion, resilience, and a belief in the possibility of healing—not just for herself, but for others walking similar paths.