Podcast Summary: The Turning – River Road S3:EP8 – "The One Thing"

Podcast: The Turning (Rococo Punch & iHeartPodcasts)
Episode: Season 3, Episode 8 – "The One Thing"
Release Date: August 12, 2025
Hosts/Narrators: Erica Lance, Aylin Lance Lesser
Main Subjects: Lindsay Tornambe, Krista, Victor Bernard, family aftermath, and the complexity of leaving a cult

Overview

This episode dives deeply into the aftermath of leaving the River Road Fellowship cult, focusing on the emotional and psychological ruptures faced by survivors—especially Lindsay Tornambe and Krista. Central to the episode is the question of accountability and healing: What does it take for survivors to start healing when family members fail to fully acknowledge or own the truth? Through intimate storytelling and the retelling of pivotal confrontations (notably on national television), the episode examines the jagged path to freedom and recovery from abuse cloaked in spirituality.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dr. Phil Confrontation: Lindsay Faces Her Father (03:14–11:55)

• Setting: 2014, during the manhunt for cult leader Victor Bernard. Lindsay agrees to appear on Dr. Phil, hoping it may lead to Victor’s capture and personal closure.
• The Confrontation:
  • Lindsay sits across from her father, Carmen, on Dr. Phil's stage.
  • Carmen alternates between taking responsibility for what happened and denying knowledge of Victor’s abuse.
  • He says, “I take my full accountability and responsibility for what had taken place,” but also maintains, “I didn’t know what was going on at the time” (06:54–07:24).
• Lindsay’s Frustration:
  • Lindsay is visibly upset by her father’s shifting stance.
  • “[He] needs me to love him and forgive him when I just needed to continue to process and try to heal.” — Erica Lance (06:06)
• Dr. Phil’s Role:
  • Dr. Phil presses Carmen, highlighting contradictions in his statements and showing excerpts from police transcripts.
  • The segment becomes an interrogation aimed at getting Carmen to admit culpability and validate Lindsay’s experiences.
• Impact:
  • Lindsay states “At this point in my life, I don’t want you in it.”
  • Discussion about the harm of apologies that do not include true validation or ownership.

2. The Complexity of Forgiveness and Healing (11:55–14:14)

• Family Fracture:
  • Lindsay’s relationship to her family is severed as most of them side with Victor, prioritizing forgiveness over support.
• Forgiveness Dissected:
  • Krista reflects on her training in trauma therapy, noting that forgiveness is not always reparative or necessary for healing.
  • “There might be cases where forgiveness actually isn’t the most psychologically healthy thing... Just because you don’t forgive somebody doesn’t mean you can’t move on.” — Krista (11:55–13:13)
• Societal Pressures:
  • The episode critiques religious and cultural narratives that equate forgiveness with moving on.
  • “Love your perpetrator. Love your perpetrator. How incredibly damaging that can be.” — Narrator (14:00)

3. Krista’s Perspective: Loyalty, Doubt, and Breaking Free (19:01–31:37)

• Conflicted Loyalty:
  • Krista recalls how Victor was both nurturing and abusive, complicating her early understanding of right and wrong.
  • “Bad people do good things. Good people do bad things...” — Erica Lance (21:09)
• Living Under Control:
  • Details Krista’s increasing skepticism as she researches River Road in secret (22:08).
  • Describes how group leaders enforced compliance — e.g., dictating responses to police/media, monitoring relationships (23:36).
• Strategic Manipulation:
  • Victor had long primed followers for the possibility he’d be arrested as a martyr for faith, reframing legal consequences as religious persecution (28:14–29:43).
  • “He knew he was doing something illegal... it was a very strategic manipulation.” — Erica Lance (29:19)

4. Escaping the Cult: Krista’s Story of Leaving (33:34–47:10)

• Living Conditions & Surveillance:
  • Krista describes increasing control over finances, clothing, diet, and movements by church elders Jan and Ricky.
  • Small acts of resistance, such as hiding her own clothes and sneaking brief moments of privacy (36:05–41:02).
• Mental and Emotional Toll:
  • Krista’s fear of losing everything—a recurring cult tactic—keeps her trapped (37:28–40:38).
  • “[I thought,] whatever happens to me, it cannot possibly be worse than this.” — Erica Lance (39:41)
• The Breaking Point:
  • After being confronted by leaders, Krista finally asserts her independence: “I think it would be best for me to pack a bag and leave today.” (43:32)
  • The process is both liberating and traumatic—immediate family support is complicated, with her father struggling to comprehend her decision.

5. Recovery and the Importance of True Validation (47:10–End)

• Descent and Rebuilding:
  • Krista faces intense depression, substance abuse, and hospitalization post-escape, illustrating the challenges of rebuilding one's life after cult involvement.
  • “I was free. But I didn’t know how to exist as a human adult in this world. Like, I had no frame of reference whatsoever.” — Erica Lance (46:41)
• A Healing Moment:
  • True healing begins when Krista’s father finally says, “I believe you, and I am so sorry that you went through that.” (48:15)
  • “That sit down with him and me where he said, ‘I believe you, and I’m so sorry that you went through all of that.’ It fixed something in me because I knew I had his support... It is absolutely the one thing that allowed me to begin to heal. And I did, and I still am.” — Erica Lance (48:15–51:08)
• Moving Forward:
  • Krista finds stability with her own family and pledges to protect her son from the suffering she endured.
  • “He is never going to experience the things that I experienced as a child.” — Erica Lance (51:10–51:31)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On seeking forgiveness vs. healing:
  “It was this constant need for me to love him and forgive him when I just needed to continue to process and try to heal.” – Erica Lance (06:06)

• On apologies without ownership:
  “Her dad is half saying sorry, but isn’t actually owning up to what he did.” — Krista (10:10)

• The peril of demanding forgiveness:
  “Love your perpetrator. Love your perpetrator. How incredibly damaging that can be.” – Narrator (14:00)

• Life after escape:
  “I was free. But I didn’t know how to exist as a human adult in this world. Like, I had no frame of reference whatsoever.” – Erica Lance (46:41)

• On true validation:
  “I believe you, and I am so sorry that you went through all of that. It fixed something in me because I knew that I had his support. And that’s something that a lot of cult survivors don’t get.” – Erica Lance (48:15)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:14 | Lindsay’s Dr. Phil appearance, confronting her father | | 06:06 | Lindsay expresses frustration with her father’s need for forgiveness vs. her need to heal | | 07:24 | Carmen’s contradiction and Dr. Phil’s intervention | | 11:29 | The fallout: family division and the myth of necessary forgiveness | | 19:01 | Krista’s reflections on loyalty, kindness, and abuse | | 22:08 | Krista sneakily researches the cult; describes the imposed responses to outside questions | | 28:14 | Victor’s “apostle” narrative and strategic martyr complex | | 33:34 | Krista’s living conditions become more restrictive | | 36:05 | Surveillance, control over finances and clothes | | 39:41 | Breaking point: Krista’s internal realization | | 43:32 | Krista announces she is leaving | | 46:41 | Life post-cult: depression and loss of orientation | | 48:15 | Pivotal healing moment with her father | | 51:10 | Krista’s new life and commitment as a parent |

Tone and Language

The episode is deeply empathetic, meditative, and at times confrontational. The hosts and guests share their thoughts with honesty, vulnerability, and a therapeutic lens. The language is candid, respectful, and reflective of both the trauma involved and the resilience of survivors.

Conclusion

Episode 8, “The One Thing,” serves as a powerful examination of the long shadow cast by abuse and complicity within a cult, and above all, the essential—if sometimes seemingly small—acts of validation and support that can begin to mend what has been broken. For Krista, it was finally being believed and supported by her father. For Lindsay, it remains an ongoing journey in the absence of true family ownership. The episode underscores that healing is highly individual, and that sometimes the smallest reparative act can be “the one thing” that begins a survivor’s process of recovery.