Answering our most asked questions

Summary

The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby

Episode: "Answering Our Most Asked Questions"

Date: October 22, 2025
Hosts: Matt & Abby Howard
Theme: A candid Q&A episode addressing listeners’ most frequently asked questions on family, relationships, parenting, grief, and personal growth, with a special focus on their recent miscarriage and its impact.

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and intimate Q&A episode, Matt and Abby Howard answer their listeners’ most common questions about parenting two young boys, marriage, personal routines, handling loss, and navigating life’s unplanned moments. The episode is structured by topic—family, relationships, random queries, and, in a deeply honest segment, their experience with miscarriage.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Family and Parenting (03:00–19:29)

Halloween Costumes & Parenting Little Ones

• The Howard family is not organized enough for an elaborate family Halloween costume:

  "If we do, it’ll be like the week of. We Amazon Prime ship something." – Abby (03:30)

• Their boys are currently obsessed with Hulk and Spider-Man.
• Humorous stories about kids changing their minds about costumes and how a friend "recorded video evidence" to keep their 3-year-old’s costume choice consistent (04:12).

Life with Two Under Two (05:55)

• The couple agrees that having two kids under two is "very much so" stressful, but the struggle is worth it:

  "Yes, it’s hell for a year but then...they have a built-in best friend." – Matt (06:22)

• They discuss the biggest challenge: conflicting nap schedules and rapidly changing developmental stages.

Parental Rage (08:00)

• They don’t usually experience "parental rage," instead expressing more amusement and mild frustration.
• Matt recalls yelling in pain when his hair was pulled, emphasizing the importance of apologizing to children and modeling humility (08:29):

  “As a parent, you need to show your kids that you can make mistakes.” – Matt (08:59)

Homeschooling Thoughts (09:40)

• Their approach is currently a twice-a-week homeschool co-op with friends, focused on play-based learning and basics like letter tracing (10:23):

  "Learning at this age is mostly through play...but we do have a little curriculum with our friends." – Abby (11:07)

• They use the ABC Mouse app, which public schools also use.

Family Mealtime and Quality Time (13:50)

• They eat together as a family, despite the chaos of toddlers who don’t stay seated (14:09):

  "They are very mobile and love to...just get distracted.” – Matt (13:58)

• Quality time is often all together, but they value one-on-one moments (16:17).

Sibling Dynamics

• Griff and Augie are "definitely little besties," but typical sibling squabbles do happen. They have developed trade and turn-taking strategies to encourage sharing (18:12).

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2. Relationships & Marriage (19:29–30:04)

Advice for Young Couples Wanting Kids (19:57)

• Matt encourages not waiting for "perfect readiness":

  “There’s something about having a family that just makes you work your ass off...Let that be a motivating factor.” – Matt (20:32)

• They acknowledge their own privilege of being financially stable but remind listeners there is no guaranteed security.

Best Advice for Newly Married Couples

• Both recommend premarital or regular counseling and finding community with other married couples (22:32):

  “Having other couples to surround you...uplift your marriage and unity.” – Abby (23:01)

On a Good Sex Life (25:04)

• The pair joke about "secrets"—frequent intimacy, open communication, and using "position cards" for fun (26:45):

  "The cards can be fun. Position cards." – Matt (26:49) “Sometimes it’s really fun when we laugh when we’re in the bedroom…It doesn’t have to be a movie." – Abby (27:17)

Knowing Each Other Was "The One" (27:55)

• Both describe each other as their best friend and express the natural fit of their marriage.

  "Everything I was thinking of down the line, like, you were in it.” – Abby (28:04) “Our friendship was so strong…a no brainer to get married.” – Matt (28:09)

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3. Random Questions (30:10–47:02)

Coping with Grief and Dark Humor

• They openly acknowledge using dark humor as a current coping mechanism (30:28).

  “I put blush on to look happy today.” – Abby (31:00)

Pros & Cons of Tesla (31:16)

• They love the electric aspect, full self-driving, and contemplate going solar (32:28). The main con is limited space in the third-row model.
• Matt considers their post-loss reflections have made family feel more valuable than ever (33:47):

  “You realize how valuable our children are to us. There’s nothing greater in this life than our family.” – Abby (33:47)

Dream Vacation & Grief Milestones (34:40)

• Abby wants to plan a special European trip as a way to mark their late daughter's due date, as a healing, family-bonding distraction (35:10):

  "I would love something to look forward to…to counteract those dates.” – Abby (34:40)

Favorite YouTube Videos

• They cherish their wedding video and early married life content, calling it a time “when we were building the world we’re living in now” (38:17).

Living Elsewhere and Podcast Guests

• Matt confesses he’d pick California or Hawaii for better guest access, but Abby loves Arizona and the desert heat (40:41).

Favorite Podcast Episode

• Abby is most proud of their episode on miscarriage, calling it "an exhale" and a needed commemoration of their daughter’s life (41:42 – 42:12).

Achieving Goals & Staying Present

• Matt wants to build a half-pipe for his sons; Abby prefers focusing on the journey, not goals (43:15).
• Tips for staying present include limiting phone usage, being intentional about screen time, and embracing simple daily routines (44:05–46:48):

  "If you’re struggling as a parent with staying present, examine your online behavior." – Abby (46:03)

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4. Grief and Miscarriage (48:12–76:10)

Matt’s Grieving Process (51:20)

• Matt shares that antidepressants have helped him process grief in small waves rather than overwhelming episodes (52:23):

  “Because I’m on those, it really…has helped me a lot.” – Matt (52:23)

• Abby describes the pattern: moms grieve immediately, dads often hold things together and are hit later.

  “Moms tend to grieve immediately…Now…it’s starting to hit you more and more in waves.” – Abby (52:04, 53:54)

Why Not Call It Stillbirth?

• Medically, Arizona defines miscarriage as before 20 weeks, stillbirth after. Their loss was at 17 weeks, but emotionally, the experience is "the same process" (58:07).

Positive Experiences Amidst Loss

• Community support and deepening empathy are highlighted as positives (59:49–61:11).

  "The deeper I get into fatherhood, the more I understand why people rave about it so much." – Matt (61:04)

Impact on Marriage

• Grief has strengthened their bond:

  "I feel like I’m trauma bonded to you even more now." – Abby (62:53)

Memorializing Their Daughter

• They have chosen a personal, private way to remember her, including an annual visit to a special place and a necklace for Abby (62:58–64:12).

Support Groups

• While they haven’t attended formal groups, Abby has created a network of other mothers. They recommend reaching out for shared understanding and ideas (64:40–66:43).

Advice for Supporting Those Who’ve Lost a Child

• They encourage friends/family to bring up the loss, rather than avoid the topic:

  "Bring it up. It’s scary too…but they’re already sad." – Abby (67:20)

Handling Others' Pregnancies

• Abby avoids social media for now to protect her emotions, describing the complex feelings of joy for friends and the pain of exclusion from the "race" (68:21–70:24).

Telling Their Boys

• Their young children were told about the loss in age-appropriate terms. Their reactions included sadness and simple questions (70:30).

Sharing Medical/Personal Details

• The Howards keep medical specifics and their daughter’s name private, emphasizing healthy boundaries and self-compassion for those in grief (71:03–72:15).

Hopes for the Future

• They hope to grow their family again but are open about the newly complex feelings and fears involved in subsequent pregnancies (72:37–75:40):

  “I don’t doubt for one second we’re going to have another baby. I don’t doubt it.” – Matt (75:19)

• The episode closes with plans for a trip, the ongoing process of carrying grief, and gratitude for their community (76:10–77:09).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On surviving two under two:

  “Yes, it’s hell for a year but then you get through that year and…your kids have a built-in best friend.” – Matt (06:28)

• On apologies as a parent:

  “You need to show your kids that you can make mistakes.” – Matt (08:59)

• On staying present:

  “Maybe have stricter boundaries with your online or your phone usage…you’ll find more fulfillment in just being with your kids.” – Abby (46:03)

• On the impact of loss:

  “You just realize how valuable our children are…there’s nothing greater in this life than our family.” – Abby (33:47) “The deeper I get into fatherhood, the more I understand why people rave about it.” – Matt (61:04)

• On grief and marriage:

  “Anytime you go through a trial, you’re either moving closer together or further apart…from the very beginning, we just were, ‘We have to cling to one another through this,’ and that has…trauma bonded us even more.” – Abby (62:08–62:53)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Family/Parenting Q&A: 03:00–19:29
• Relationships & Marriage Q&A: 19:29–30:04
• Sex Life Discussion: 25:04–27:36
• Random/Fun Segment: 30:10–47:02
• On Grief, Miscarriage, and Healing: 48:12–76:10
• Closing Reflections and Gratitude: 76:10–end

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Tone & Style

The entire episode is an honest, warm, vulnerable, and gently humorous conversation. Matt and Abby balance deep emotions with their trademark positivity and humility, often using humor and candid admissions to keep the conversation accessible and relatable.

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For New Listeners

Whether you’re a parent, spouse, or someone facing loss, this episode offers comfort, solidarity, and practical ideas. The Q&A format covers a wide range of topics with authenticity and care, making it valuable for anyone seeking to understand parenting young children, nurture marriage, cope with heartache, or simply feel less alone.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[B]

What is your secret to a good sex life?

[A]

Well, first of all, do you think that we have a good one?

[B]

Yeah, I would say so.

[A]

Moms tend to grieve immediately. I certainly did that. And then now as I'm getting on my feet again, I feel like it's starting to you more and more in waves.

[B]

Will you be sharing the genetic condition that baby girl had? Will you share the name of your sweet angel? Are you going to try for another Baby. Before we get started, I just wanted to thank all of you guys for all the kind DMS messages, comments. You all have surrounded us with so much love. We really feel it. It's been beautiful, to be honest. And I just wanted to thank you guys. I honestly have just been blown away by how kind people are.

[A]

Truly just feel so humbled by everyone's love and support and kindness, and nothing makes going through this any lighter, but it helps you grieve with hope.

[B]

We've had a lot of really dark conversations and topics on our podcast recently, and today we're doing a Q and a. You guys sent a lot of questions on our Instagram account and a lot of questions about miscarriage and what we're going through right now. So we will get to those. But I wanted to start on more of a positive note.

[A]

That's a good idea.

[B]

We have four different topics we'll be talking about today that we answered questions on. The first is family. The second is relationships. The third is random. So you guys ask a bunch of random questions, and then the fourth will be miscarriage. So for the first topic of family and parenting, we got. Are we doing a family Halloween costume this year?

[A]

I don't see us getting organized to do that.

[B]

Come on. We got to. We need to.

[A]

If we do, it'll be like the week of we. Amazon prime ship something.

[B]

Can we be the Avengers? The boys would love it.

[A]

I just ordered a costume for the boys. They're obsessed with Hulk, not the Avengers.

[B]

They're obsessed with Hulk and Spider Man. So I think Griffin could be the Hulk. Auggie could be Spider Man. I'll be Captain America, and you can be Black Widow. You would look super hot in a Black Widow costume.

[A]

Okay, so here's the thing about kids, especially little kids, like the kids our age. When you ask them what they want to be for Halloween, you're gonna get a different answer every single time, and you have to nail it. You have to constantly remind them. But you said this. So our friends actually recorded their child. So they have video evidence.

[B]

Wait, are you serious? I didn't know our friends did that.

[A]

Yeah, they're like, what do you want to be? And then they got video evidence. Because then the next day, she's like, no, I don't want to be that. I want to say, like, what you said.

[B]

So that's what they got.

[A]

Oh, they show. They're like, this is what you said. We have proof. They literally showed her the receipts.

[B]

Our friends that did this. How old's their kid?

[A]

Three.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, the tricky part is for our two year old, if you ask him, auggie, do you like Spidey more? Hulk more. He goes, hulk.

[A]

If you like Hulk more Spidey more Spidey. It's whatever you say last. So.

[B]

So, yeah, anyway, but I think this.

[A]

Is reality is Matt is saying that we're going to do this big family costume. Really? We've never actually quite gotten ourselves organized enough for that. It's a great idea. But what I think will realistically happen is our son Auggie got a Spidey costume for his second birthday that he will never take off. And he's constantly wearing it, so he's probably gonna end up wearing that. And then our oldest has been saying every time we ask him what he wants to be, he always says, slinky dog.

[B]

Yeah. What's up with Slinky Dog? That's so random.

[A]

He always. He's been consistently saying that recently. So I ordered them a Slinky dog costume. Unfortunately, if someone can find a single Slinky dog costume, let me know. Because every time I see a Slinky.

[B]

Dog costume, it costs two people.

[A]

It's a head and a butt end with the coils in between.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I think Auggie is going to be Slinky Dog in the butt.

[B]

He's going to be the booty plus.

[A]

Spidey, like, in his Spidey costume.

[B]

I want to see you in a Black Widow costume all night. You'd look so good.

[A]

I'm not going.

[B]

Why would you not wear door to.

[A]

Door in a Black Widow?

[B]

You look so good.

[A]

Where the Avengers Slinky dog walking around. So confusing.

[B]

Okay, wait, no, that makes sense. Yeah. If our kids are no longer wearing their Avengers costumes, then we. We can take ours off. Okay. Was it as stressful as you thought it would be to have two under two? Very much so, yeah. I would. I would say, like, that season was so crazy, but boy, was it worth it because now our boys are basically twins. Like, they do everything together, they laugh together, they tackle each other and have wrestling matches in the living room. They are best friends, and it is so much fun to see their relationship grow. I love, like, walking away and then I just hear this, like, tickle fight going on and everyone's laughing and they just. They mesh so well together. And I wouldn't do it any other way. Almost makes me want to do two under two again. Like, seriously, it actually makes me want to do it because, you know, like, okay, yes, it's hell for a year but then you get through that year and. And your kids are. They have a built in best friend in their own home.

[A]

It's hell for a year. But I mean, it is it what. It is a tough thing to do.

[B]

One of our friends had twins and was like. And she also. Actually, she was on this podcast. Carol Lowry was on this podcast. She had two under two and she also had twins. She said 202 was harder.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know if everyone that has twins would agree with that.

[B]

That's true. That's just her opinion.

[A]

But it was. It was a challenging season for. I think the hardest part about 202 is if they're on different nap schedules, you will be nap trapped for the whole day. And if your kids are anything like our kids, getting outside of the house is like a key part of keeping them happy, entertained, getting their energy out. So navigating that. And you're constantly having to change your rhythm too, when you have 202. Cause they're both changing dramatically into different stages so frequently now. It's stabilized so much. And they are. I think it's really easy to have a two and three year old. Our two and three year olds, I mean, everyone's experience is so different, but our kids are like, they really play so well together.

[B]

They really do.

[A]

1,000%. It was meant to be. And. Yeah.

[B]

Do you ever experience parental rage? Honestly, you guys, I don't think that's something that we've ever struggled with. Like, we. We just both are obsessed with our kids. We love them so much. I did yell the other day because our son was holding on to my hair. Okay. Fell off of me. He was like, balancing himself on my leg.

[A]

Body weight is pulling Matt's hair.

[B]

It hurt so bad. I was almost certain that all my hair.

[A]

You yelled and it, like, got louder at the end.

[B]

You go, does it hurt? Like, I felt him tugging on the hair and then he felt. And it was like. And I was like, ow. Like, I think I Did I scream out? What did I scream?

[A]

I don't know. You just, like, yelped. And then they were both. They were both scared and started crying.

[B]

I was so sad.

[A]

It was so sad because, I mean, you don't yell at them. And so you. He started crying and he, like, froze. He, like, cowered and fro and started crying.

[B]

And then I apologized and then Augie kept going.

[A]

I'm so scared. I'm so scared.

[B]

Yeah, I apologize to them after that because I've learned, like, as a parent, you need to show your Kids that you can make mistakes.

[A]

I think that you were yelling out of rage. It was literally just like. It was a pain response. Yeah, well, you just had trauma done to your head.

[B]

Yeah, I did have a hair transplant and a lot of my hair fell out. But it's looking. Guys, it's looking better. I got a haircut recently. It looks so much better. I still have a ton of hair miss from the top. That's all going to roll back in. So I'm excited for that in 10 months when the full result comes. But yes, I did yell and it was a little hectic.

[A]

You weren't yelling at him?

[B]

No.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. No parental rage. I definitely see where that could happen. We haven't gotten to that stage yet. Maybe you'll. Maybe it'll come.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sure at some point our kids will do something really stupid that'll drive us crazy. Okay, can you share more about your homeschooling thoughts? How it's going, you guys? Proud dad moment. Sorry, I feel like I'm kind of taking over this podcast. Proud dad moment. Griffin, he's actually doing a two day, two day a week, like, homeschool, like, hybrid thing. He basically perfectly did, like, the tracing for all of his letters, every single letter of the Alphabet. I'm so proud of him. And I think part of the reason he did such a good job at that was because recently I got him actually using this iPad onto this learning program that. Didn't you have kids that you would babysit a couple years ago in college.

[A]

Doing elementary education, like in some of my practicums or even when I was substitute teaching. A lot of public schools use it.

[B]

Oh, public schools use ABC Mouse?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. So then I knew about this thing called ABC Mouse. So I got Griffin doing like the three year old learning activities, and one of the activities is tracing his letters. So that's been super helpful using that app, which we had to pay whatever the yearly subscription is, but it was like the cost of what you pay for, like, an education book at a store. And so that's been good. And then the homeschool's been good. So I'm a proud papa.

[A]

Proud papa. Yeah. Yeah. So right now, with just a two and a three year old, we haven't had to, like, think too seriously about it. I feel like learning at this age is through mostly play, and they do a lot of that. We go to museums, we go to the zoo, we go to a lot of things. Like, we do a lot of, like, active out and about educational activities. But what we've been doing since like August is twice a week with like four of our other friends that are like all. All have kids the same age. We just like get together and we have like a little self made curriculum thing where we work on like a letter of the day, we read books, they do learning activities and like little crafts. They do like some motor skills activities. And it's just for two hours twice a week. And that's working really great. For now. I'm interested to see how our homeschooling journey evolves or like what it becomes. Maybe one day we do a hybrid situation. Yeah, we're really lucky to be in a place where there are a lot of options around us as far as like, there's support for homeschooling. There's a lot of different kind of cool hybrid situations. There's great public schools, there's great charter schools, private schools. There's so many options. And so I'm really open to a lot of them. But right now this like little homeschool with our friends thing is working great. It's really sweet and they look forward to it. They feel so old. They say we're going to school.

[B]

Do overpriced spinach wraps from coffee shops leave you with more cravings than comfort?

[A]

Or can we talk about how many times after the gym we stop and get our favorite favorite shake that is literally $10 a shake. But we have a fully stocked fridge at home.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

That's right, Matt. They have so many delicious flavors from chocolate, vanilla, chai to matcha, coconut, acai and strawberry.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Do you sit as a family for dinner? Yes, we do. I thought. I feel like. I feel like half the time.

[A]

Oh, our kids don't stay in their seats.

[B]

Yeah, they. They are very mobile and love to. They just get distracted, and so we have to keep reminding them of, like, hey, if you want to eat dessert, you have to finish your dinner before we get dessert.

[A]

We do eat at the same time, though, and we put their plate on a table. They're usually coming and going and eating their food.

[B]

But, yeah, I think they got ADHD from their father.

[A]

I don't know. I think they're just normal, like, little toddlers. But you think that we eat at the same time? We eat dinner at the same time, like, as a family?

[B]

Yes, sometimes it's also, we don't enforce.

[A]

That they stay in their seats very well.

[B]

Yeah, that's something that we need to work on. But recently, they're still too young. It has been helping, though, because they want to go in the pool every single day with me. That's like, their big thing is they're like, can we go swim with daddy in the pool? Like, I don't know.

[A]

They're obsessed with, you have to eat your dinner.

[B]

So we've been using that as their bribe to eat their dinner before we go in the pool. So.

[A]

Yeah, so, yeah, I would say we eat as a family, though, every night.

[B]

You're right. We do. Yeah. It's not like we're eating. We're not living different lives. Like, we're all together.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just thinking because they get up so much that we're not, like, all seated.

[A]

True. Yeah. It's not like we're all seated at the table using our manners.

[B]

I have to bring them back to their seat five or six times, spit.

[A]

Out onto their plate. There's food thrown. There's. Yeah, there's negotiations happening.

[B]

It's almost easier to eat outside because then I can just hose off everything. Rather.

[A]

Maybe that's why we don't get rage, is because we have very low expectations. We're like, oh, yeah. They're just like, sometimes I will literally feed them a bite if they're going down the slide. I'm like, let me just try to get this in here.

[B]

Anyway, how do you manage spending quality time with both of your boys? Equally. Do we? I feel like it's pro. I mean, I think we do a.

[A]

Pretty good job to be separated.

[B]

Yeah. That we kind of just are. It's just with them together. So, like, if we're gonna spend quality time with one of them, it's with both of them.

[A]

It is really special, though, when we get them, like, one on one. But it doesn't have.

[B]

No, that is. No, you're right. When I do have Griffin, there's something better about that. I feel like it's fin fun. Like, it's really fun.

[A]

Well, it's hard, though, because then you're like, then I'm leaving another kid out, and they like to do stuff together.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're so close in age, but I think as they get older, it'll be more and more important to have one on one time. But I do feel like we get one on one time. Like, maybe not both of us with one kid, but, like, me with one kid and you with another kid.

[B]

Because Abby's had commitments recently to where I needed to bring Griffin to school. And so it's just me and Griffin in the morning hanging out, and, like, I get to help him pack his backpack and put all his snacks in there, because he loves to put snacks in his backpack and, you know, see him. Be so proud of him, of himself when he puts on his clothes by himself and his shoes by himself. Like, he's so proud.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I love the one on one.

[A]

It is sweet. We need to do that more and more. When I took a one on one trip with Griffin to Disney earlier this year, that was really special. But then I did feel bad for.

[B]

Augie that maybe I'll take Augie on a one on one trip. I'll. I'll do a one on one trip with both of them. That would be fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've never done a one on one trip with them, have I?

[A]

It's so sweet.

[B]

I need to.

[A]

We're all always together, so. Yeah, but we should do that.

[B]

That would be fun.

[A]

That's a good idea.

[B]

Next question. Do Griff and Augie fight or are they little besties?

[A]

I would say they're definitely little besties. This doesn't mean that they don't ever have conflict.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like every siblings, like, have conflict, and usually the kind of conflict that we're seeing, it just feels so normal. It's like. Like, two little boys that are getting worked up, and I've noticed this, like, two little boys, like, wrestling are playing. Like, they're gonna continue to get, like, worked up. Like, it's like a balloon getting inflated.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's going to pop at some point. Like, someone's going to cross the line and, like, do a face shot.

[B]

But the wrestling is so fun for them. Like, they love it. Even if Augie gets, like, elbowed in the face, he doesn't care. Like, he's so.

[A]

But there's always a point where it crosses the line and someone's upset.

[B]

True. But I mean, I would say, for the most part, they are. Are such besties.

[A]

Yeah, they are.

[B]

The only time I really see them get upset with each other is when they're having issues sharing. So something that we've enacted in our family, whenever they're sharing issues is I'll say, okay, hey, Griffin, Augie has that toy right now. You'll get to have it in two minutes. I'll say, Auggie, could you share? Actually, I'll first ask Augie to see if she. He can have, like, the.

[A]

Encourage them to do it themselves. You can play with that toy.

[B]

Yes. Or, like, would you guys be willing to trade something? So sometimes Griffin, in order to, like, he really wants Augie's toy. And so I'll say, griffin, Augie's playing with that right now. But if you're able to find something else that Augie would want to play with, then maybe Augie would consider trading. So then Griffin's, like, going and finding all these different toys and bringing them up to Augie. Be like, augie, you want to trade this? Augie's like, no. And then Griffin will go and get this, and Auggie's like, no. And then he'll get, like, a Spider man toy, and then Auggie will be like, okay, yeah, like, that's my favorite superhero. So, you know, it's stuff like that.

[A]

I think that's all, like, normal stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But they, in general, they are really good sharers, and I think it's because they've had a sibling.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Forever.

[B]

And the two minute rule, like, oftentimes, like, even today, there was something that they were trying to share. And basically Griffin just told Augie, hey, Auggie, I just need two more minutes, and then you can.

[A]

Yeah, he always says two minutes.

[B]

Two minutes. And that, like, seems to work really well because Griffin, like, knows immediately, okay, I'm fine for now and in the future, I will have to give this up, but I can still get a little bit more time out of it.

[A]

They can usually work it out. Yeah, yeah. But they always want to do everything together. They do not want to Be separated. When they're, like, gonna watch a show, they, like, want the other person to sit right next to them. They want to do. They want to play at the same thing at the same time. So they're definitely besties.

[B]

Okay, that wraps up the family and parenting section. Now we are onto the relationship. This is like, couples questions, questions about love, romance, relationship, all that.

[A]

Well, also, by the way, Matt wanted to match with me today, and I'. Wow, we're already in the elderly couple stage where we just, like, start matching every day. But you've done this for a long time. You're like, what are you wearing? Okay. And then he comes out in a brown shirt.

[B]

Yep, we are both wearing brown.

[A]

I think that's sweet.

[B]

Okay, first question. Advice for young couples who really want kids but are not yet ready financially. I would just send it. Honestly, I would just send it. Like, okay, look, I will say I.

[A]

Was going to say the same thing.

[B]

We also were financially prepared for kids when we started having them. So we probably do have a bias there. I'm sure there's people that started having kids that were not financially ready, and it probably really stressed them out. But I think, like, there's something about having a family that just makes you work your ass off. I'm sorry. Like, yeah, like, for sure. Like, that's kind of what marrying Abby did to me. Like, I knew I wanted to marry her. So right away in college, like, I got a job and I just, like, started penny pinching and like. Like, you know, just I was very strict on myself because I had this goal in mind. So I think, yeah, if, you know, that you want to start a family or that's something that you're wanting to do, but the finances aren't quite there. Like, let that be a motivating factor.

[A]

We know a lot of people really well and personally that would have probably said, yeah, I mean, I guess we weren't, quote, unquote, financially prepared when we started our family. But you. When you have the gift of a baby, you realize how small all those physical things you thought you needed to have in place beforehand are. And, like, in comparison to, like, the absolute, like, magnitude it is to start.

[B]

A family, like, let me, like, even one thing would be, like, a nursery for your kid. We did all this stuff to do, like, a nursery for our, like, our first kid because we thought we had to. We're like, oh, we gotta have all this and that for the nursery. Second child. Like, like, we. You just realize, like, wait a second, like, they just sleep next to Your bed for the. Like, they really can for initially, like.

[A]

All these things that you think you might need to have in place beforehand. It's. It's largely based in, like, culture or society, and not, like, oh, like, this is actually a necessity. And like Matt said, there's no greater motivator, really, than having people to provide for. Also, here's the other thing. You may feel, quote, unquote, financially prepared, and you have a kid two years down the line. Like, you never know what life is going to hand you. There's job loss. I know you grew up and experienced job loss. Like, recessions, like, just, like, things you cannot prepare for and cannot expect can happen. And that can happen at any time.

[B]

Next question. Best advice for newly married couples, probably to do some sort of premarital counseling or marriage counseling. I think it's been amazing in our own life. We've seen some huge benefits to therapy in our life.

[A]

A free thing, too, is. I think that's great. And something that we definitely do. But also, like, through every season of our marriage, we've always had, like, couples that we can, like, talk to, be open with. Not, like, in an inappropriate way, but we can, like, have dinner and, like, we can talk about our marriage, and we can talk about, like, oh, like, this thing came up. And it's not like we're using them as our therapist, but just, like, having community to, like, talk about life and marriage and celebrate your marriage and, yeah, like, the joys of it and be with you and, like, the harder times. I think there's a lot of value in having other couples that are married to surround you, to also, like, help uplift your marriage and, like, your unity and stuff.

[B]

Is it okay if I hold your hand? I just want to hold your hand. Dealing look so good.

[A]

Yeah. I was about to change, and then Matt was like, do not change.

[B]

I love this outfit. Guys, blow up the comments. Blow up the comment section with how incredible Abby looks in this outfit. It's all matching.

[A]

Stop it.

[B]

I even helped pick it out. She asked me my opinion on the outfit, and I. I think you look stunning in it.

[A]

Thank you so much.

[B]

I love it. Wow. You look so good. Is it the. I can't tell. I guess it's the brown, but then the blue accents are cute. And the yellow stripe on the side. I like it. It's a cute outfit. Cute outfit. Okay, next question. This might be tmi, but we can always cut this out if it is.

[A]

What's your secret? We never say TMI stuff.

[B]

Do you love drinking?

[A]

Nothing. Like a fresh, cold Ollipop.

[B]

Do you love soda but not all the added sugar? I'm in the same exact boat. And a couple years ago, Abby and I started drinking Olipop for that very reason.

[A]

90% of Americans consume more than the USDA's daily recommended added sugar intake and sweetened beverages are the leading source of added sugars in the American diet. Olipop is much, much lower in sugar than conventional sodas with only 2 to 5 grams of sugar from natural sugar. Olipop offers a delicious alternative to traditional soda, using a functional ingredient blend to support digestive health. And they actually taste literally so good. You have to choose. Trust me. They're not like those sparkling waters that people tell you are flavored, but you cannot taste any flavor in them. These are delicious. They actually fill that same craving as a soda.

[B]

Get $2 off a four pack of Olipop at drinkollipop.com unplanned. This works on any flavor of four pack, including Spongebob at any retailer. Olipop is sold online and available in almost 50,000 retailers nationwide, including Costco, Walmart, Target, Publix, Whole Foods, Kroger, and H e B. What is your secret to a good sex life? Somebody just. They're assuming that we have a good. Let me guess.

[A]

You put that question in here.

[B]

I didn't put that question in. This is what our sister in law, Addie.

[A]

Okay. I mean, I like to talk about sex.

[B]

Okay, tell me about it.

[A]

What's the secret?

[B]

What do you think the secret is, Abby?

[A]

Well, first of all, do you think that we have a good one?

[B]

Yeah, I would say so. I would say so.

[A]

I'm so flattered.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Actually in the shower the other day, I asked Matt, I was like, rate our marri on a scale of 1 to 10, we're going to say at the same time. And I was like, this is a great way to get your feelings hurt. And I feel like if we did that for our sex life, it's like.

[B]

Even should we rate it our sex life right now? You want to do a rating right now?

[A]

Let's just give it the last like three months.

[B]

I feel like I want to keep that to ourselves. I feel like I feel like I want to.

[A]

Okay, wait, what?

[B]

I feel like there's certain things that you want to keep private. I don't want to, like, I don't know.

[A]

I feel like that might be feeling overly confident. Everyone. What's the question?

[B]

The question is, how do. Why is her sex life so good?

[A]

No, what is the Secret. I don't. I mean, wow. That.

[B]

I think probably just half sex.

[A]

Well, yeah, that would be the number 1 1. Do it a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think, like, let me just think of like a base level communication.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Should I even say that we have like this.

[B]

What do you mean have what?

[A]

We have like.

[B]

Oh, the cards. Yeah, the cards can be fun. Position cards.

[A]

You're like, okay, I don't really want to. Like, you don't want to take the. You want to keep it fun and fresh, but you also don't want to take the brain power. It's a good. It's like a fun little game. Like, you just pull out a card and just try whatever's on the card. And like, sometimes we laugh and we're like, absolutely not. That's not gonna. That's not gonna physically work. Or like, we give it a shot and it's actually really. You never. You never know. And it keeps it fun and fresh. And I think, honestly, sometimes it's really fun when we laugh when we're in the bedroom.

[B]

Yeah. No, I love it.

[A]

It doesn't have to be like a romantic, passionate movie. Like. No, we just laugh.

[B]

I love it when we're like.

[A]

And do embarrassing things. It's.

[B]

We are in the act and then we like. I like. I like.

[A]

You can't stop.

[B]

It's always me. I'm always the one that starts laughing first.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. I think that's.

[B]

It's always me. Okay. Anyway, next question. Okay. No, we're gonna move on now. We're gonna move on to random. I feel like that was enough. It was. Abby. How did you know Matt was the one? It's a little. Little soppy, but hey, we can.

[A]

You were my best friend.

[B]

That's why I knew that you were the one.

[A]

When I, like, thought into my future, I was like, everything I was thinking of down the line, like, you were in it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you had already been written into my future in my mind. So I was like, this just feels like such a natural thing to enter into.

[B]

No, that's how I knew that you were the one too, because it was like our friendship was so strong and like, you quite honestly became the closest friend that I'd ever had in my life. So then it was just a no brainer to get married.

[A]

And also on a deeper level, I had noticed so many things about your character that I was like, looking for in a partner. And even you made me realize there were traits that I wanted in a spouse that I didn't Even think about before, I was like, oh, this is so good that, like, you are willing to, like, humble yourself, to seek advice from others. Like, the. The way that you're willing to, like, get a mint. Like, we have mentors in our relationship. And, like, get counseling and to, like, invite that in and, like, be willing to be wrong and learn. Like, that's a really, really important quality that I hadn't even thought about because I was, like, thinking I'm like, so. And that's spontaneous and, like, fun and makes me laugh and, like, all those things are good and great, but, like, definitely am spontaneous. Are you teachable?

[B]

Like, how many times have I tried to get you to, like, go on an international trip?

[A]

And you know what? I just say yes. Because in 2025, 1% of them of your crazy ideas.

[B]

Okay, right now, can we go? Can I take Griffin to Tokyo to go ride trains in Tokyo?

[A]

Why are me and Oggy left out of this?

[B]

And I take you and Auggie with us?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Yes. We're gonna do it.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

In the next year.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Go to Tokyo and we can ride the train. I think our kids would think the. Because they have these, like, really actual.

[A]

Glimpse of our marriage. This is literally what happens.

[B]

No, Abby.

[A]

Every single day.

[B]

Okay. I think the boys would be obsessed. They would think it's so cool. No, seriously, they would feel like it's like being on an amusement park ride because these trains are very fast anyway. I don't know.

[A]

Amazing. Catch us on the bullet trains and we can eat sushi in Asia.

[B]

They're awesome. Japan.

[A]

Japan.

[B]

Yeah, I've heard Japan's really safe, too.

[A]

Okay, great.

[B]

Yeah. So anyway. Sorry, I feel like I just killed our conversation right that. Right there.

[A]

You're just such a puppy dog.

[B]

Sorry. Sorry about that. Okay, now that was the end of the relationship section. Now we will move on to the random questions before we get into the final topic, which is miscarriage. And that that's dark and scary, but we're gonna talk about it anyway.

[A]

It's not so dark and scary.

[B]

Okay. Random.

[A]

It actually is dark and scary.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Wow.

[A]

I don't want to be fear mongering.

[B]

Also. Yes. Also, I feel like we've been developing dark humor recently.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was the thing that you said the other day that, like, I've been.

[A]

Saying a lot of dark things.

[B]

Like, what was one. What was the thing that we were talking about yesterday that was actually, like. It was so dark, but so dark. It was funny.

[A]

Me, when I was saying I was putting blush on to look Happy. See, for me, that didn't even, like, because I'm in such a kind of dark. Like, I was like, oh, is that really. Is that bad?

[B]

That's dark. But hey, you know what? We're in the. We're in a dumb club now.

[A]

I put blush on to look happy today.

[B]

So give me nux.

[A]

No, I just put blush on to put my blush on.

[B]

And I take antidepressants to be happy. And that seems to work for me.

[A]

See, we're dark.

[B]

Okay. Okay. So now we're on the random session.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. First question is pros and cons of your Tesla. Whoever sent this question, thank you so much.

[A]

I love guys.

[B]

I recently purchased full self driving, the monthly membership, because it used to be.

[A]

Like, you were so frugal. You literally said that earlier in this podcast.

[B]

What? Oh, I'm not frugal anymore. I'm not. Okay. I'm not technically frugal anymore. But we also.

[A]

Not even a little bit.

[B]

We got a little bit more to play with. Okay. And we have. We have our emergency fund. We have investments.

[A]

Okay. Talk about the Tesla.

[B]

Don't. So we're not.

[A]

Not.

[B]

You know, we can. It's okay. Call you out, Abby. I felt very called out.

[A]

Sorry about that.

[B]

Okay. But the Tesla, full self driving. I love it. Our car just drives itself. So you just like, press down the lever and bing, it drives itself. And right now I think it's 100 bucks a month, which is expensive. But for having your car drive itself. I paid for it for one month just to try it out and see if I thought it was cool. And I love it. And I don't plan to get rid of it anytime soon. So that's why I love it. Con would maybe be.

[A]

The question wasn't about self driving.

[B]

I know. That was the pro, though. The pro of the Tesla is the full self driving.

[A]

No, I think the pro of the Tesla is that it's electric.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And never have to get gas. You just plug your car in at.

[B]

Your house, which has made me want to get solar panels. Because if we had enough electricity to, like, cover our electric bill from the solar panels, we would essentially, I want to say, pay off the solar panels that I'm thinking of getting in the next five years. So they would just be like, then we just have free electricity, you know, Isn't that cool? It's good for the environment.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

What are your. What are the cons of Tesla? Maybe space.

[A]

I mean, I feel like it has decent space. Yeah, I guess. Like, if you're looking for a bigger vehicle. The third row Tesla is not that spacious. The back row is very small.

[B]

True, true.

[A]

I don't really have a lot of negatives to say about the test. I think it's a really good car, and I actually didn't expect to like it as much as I do.

[B]

Yeah, we have the Model Y. Thinking about the Model X, we kind of realized maybe what we could do is Abby gets her car, like, her favorite mom car, and then I get my favorite dad car, and then that way we can both fit, like, our full family whenever we end up having more kids, because I think we kind of are almost wanting four kids now. Can I say that out loud? Is that okay?

[A]

I. And loving that you're saying, I don't know.

[B]

I just love being. I'm just like, I've really entered my. My dad era. I love being a dad, and it's like, yeah. At least how I feel right now. I'm just like, why are you crying?

[A]

It's sweet hearing you say that, but also, like, I think just, like, the reality of losing a baby, you just realize how valuable our children are to us. Yeah. I think that, like, feeling the weight of how profound, like, this loss feels, you just realize, wow, there's nothing greater in this life than our family. So, yeah, that. That just made me cry. But also hearing you say that is really sweet. See, this is where we're at right now. We're at, like, dark humor one minute, tears the next. That's where we're at right now. Sorry. Keep going.

[B]

That's where we're at.

[A]

Random questions. We're not even on.

[B]

No, it's all good. Hey, we're not even there, then. Are we still on the Tesla one right now?

[A]

Yeah, this is not Tesla.

[B]

We're still on the Tesla question. Okay, next question is dream vacation destination.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What do you say?

[A]

I would love to plan a really fun trip in Europe with our kids around the due date of our third baby. Because I would love something to look forward to that's, like, big and, like, bonding as a family and also distracting, because I just know that those milestones, like, I'm anticipating. It's almost like the anticipation's worse, is what I've heard. But, like, the anticipation of, like, those dates is hard, so I want to have something to counteract that. That's, like, exciting.

[B]

Is that helpful? Is that a response to grief? To travel?

[A]

Yeah, because.

[B]

Because, like, getting out of the space, my initial instinct, reaction to everything. No, I was like, abby, let's go I was like, can we go to Japan? I think I said. And I think. And then I was like, okay, maybe something domestic. Like, I was trying. I was like, maybe that's a little bit too crazy. But I think for you, I think that was a little too, like, out there right away. But yeah, that was definitely like.

[A]

Yeah, you know, I think that probably is.

[B]

But I love that. I love that idea for. I know we've talked about that already, but I love that idea of planning this amazing trip for February just to. Yeah. Help. Help us, like, get through that month and get through that specific date.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which sucks.

[A]

But it'll be somewhere in Europe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The boys have never been to Europe, so that would be really fun.

[B]

Yeah. And I went to Europe for the first time ever five years ago, so I was 20. Our kids are like going to so many cool places and they're like, they're two or three.

[A]

I know they're two and three, but still, it's sweet. Their favorite place is like, literally when they see an airplane, they just think about going to Grandma and Papa.

[B]

I actually asked him this. You guys. I said, do you guys want to go? Okay. I did keep in mind, I did say Disney World, Grandma and Papa's and then like a couple. A couple other places.

[A]

Hawaii.

[B]

It said Disney World first, but then after that Grandma and Papa second was Grandma and Papa's. So I thought that was really sweet. Are you in the market for a new dining table or dining room chairs? Because we were about a year ago and that's why we purchased products from Article.

[A]

Well, really, they have a lot of furniture selections at Article.

[B]

Oh, really? More than dining tables and chairs?

[A]

They certainly do. But something I love about articles article is that you get your furniture order in a timely manner. I can't tell you how many times I have ordered furniture and it's like, oh, your estimated delivery date is six months from now. It's like, well, I need somewhere to sit today.

[B]

Article offers a curated range of mid century modern, coastal and scandi inspired pieces that not only shine on their own, but also pair seamlessly with nearly any other article product. This thoughtful design approach makes it incredibly easy to mix and match, helping you create a space that feels cohesive and stylish.

[A]

We get so many compliments on our chairs and our table. It's like the perfect blend of cozy but still upscale and modern. And I would say it's pretty kid proof too. Our kids put those to the test.

[B]

But you know what? They clean up nice. Okay.

[A]

And article Oslo offers fast, affordable Shipping across the US And Canada with options for professional assembly. If you prefer a hands off experience.

[B]

With Article's 30 day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it.

[A]

Article is offering our listeners $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. To claim, visit article.comunplanned and the discount code will be automatically applied at checkout. That's article.com unplanned for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more.

[B]

Our next question in the random category is favorite YouTube video you've made?

[A]

Well, I like our wedding video one and I also like the one where you we read our like, like letters to each other.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

Those are fun. Those are ones I go back to a lot because they're just like, there's so much value in like. Okay. Like these were the vows you made to each other. These were things that we, like, said. And like now we're like, living in that, like, reality of like this world we're creating.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Together.

[B]

I love that I have all that footage on a hard drive so I can keep like, making new videos with it in the future because I just think that's fun. Like, I'll see that footage through a different lens every decade or whatever because I recently, last year, re edited that footage to the wedding song that I wrote. And then before that, it was just like the OG wedding video that I made and surprised you with on Valentine's Day. But that's something that I was thinking about, like, recently is like, I'm glad we have all this, like this.

[A]

I love that video. The honestly, any video we made in our Springfield, Missouri apartment, those are so sweet.

[B]

Pre Hawaii videos on our YouTube channel. Really sweet videos.

[A]

Like when I surprised you for Valentine's Day.

[B]

That was really cute.

[A]

Those like, make me cry when I got my hair cut and surprised you. Those are so fun. Yeah, I love those.

[B]

Really? Sorry, I was just thinking about the haircut video and how I had to make an edit in it. Yeah, let's not, let's just keep that to ourselves.

[A]

As you brought it up on this podcast.

[B]

Okay. If you weren't living in Arizona. Oh, gosh. Fine. You can tell them. Say it in appropriate language. It doesn't sound weird. Stop it.

[A]

Pitching a tent. Oh my.

[B]

Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. So somebody told us one of our friends was like, you know, you know, you gotta edit that out for the, like, you. You missed the part we posted. I Wasn't looking for that. I didn't think that was happening.

[A]

I don't watch our videos.

[B]

I completely missed it in the edit. So to go back on YouTube and edit that part out.

[A]

She just texted me recently.

[B]

I just loved your hair so much.

[A]

First year marriage.

[B]

First year marriage, baby. Okay, okay. All right.

[A]

Crazy.

[B]

If you weren't living in Arizona, where would you pick?

[A]

You would pick Hawaii?

[B]

Yeah. Either Hawaii or California. Hawaii would be better than California. But California does have opportunities. Especially, like, now that we have this podcast, like, transparently. Guys, if we did live in Los Angeles, interviewing cool guests is just 10 times easier when you're already in LA, because everyone is always doing press cycles in LA for their new book, their new movie, whatever. It's harder to get people to fly to Phoenix. So that would. Honestly, I would probably say, realistically, California. But, you know, maybe one day we'll split time. Maybe one day we'll spend part of the year in Arizona, part of the year in California or Hawaii and do one of those. Do that. We'll see. Why are you smiling like that?

[A]

I'm like, okay, whatever. I love Arizona so much.

[B]

Abby's an Arizona girl.

[A]

I, like, love Arizona.

[B]

She loves the. She loves the heat.

[A]

I do. I'm a reptile.

[B]

What has been your favorite podcast to record? Wow. I actually, off the top of my head, can't think of what that podcast would be.

[A]

The one I'm proudest of is the one we just did regarding our miscarriage. It was really important for me to just do it for myself and for anyone that it would serve. And I just. I just wanted to put it out there for anyone that needed it and for people that didn't need it. I wanted them to not partake, but it was there for people that needed it and I needed to do it. And so, yeah, I'm not using my words well.

[B]

No, that's really good.

[A]

It felt like an exhale for me and, like, it felt like a milestone in, like, growing through this horrible experience. It felt like a way to commemorate her life, our daughter's life, and the experience that we went through as a family and as a couple. And it felt. It's the most motivated I've ever been to, like, speak on something. I think.

[B]

I think what you said in that episode was powerful for so many women out there that have been through something similar, that know somebody that's been through something similar. Seeing the comments that people were saying, like, I just went through miscarriage too, and this has been really healing to. To see this to Hear you share what it's like.

[A]

That feels good.

[B]

Or I went through a miscarriage when you were pregnant with Augie and I was pregnant at the same time and I lost my baby and it was like devastating. And now watching this like, makes me like, in a weird way feel seen, like feel understood. I think you being vulnerable in the episode was really cool.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

We have a few more random questions before we get into the specific miscarriage questions. What is one thing you would like to achieve before the end of the year? Mine is to build a half pipe in our backyard for me and the boys. What about you? I actually am so excited about this half pipe. I'm gonna skate it probably every day. I'm so stoked.

[A]

I'm not really a goals person, am I? I'm a journey person.

[B]

Did your voice just crack? I think you had like some Fleming.

[A]

Right there or frog in my throat.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm a journey person. I'm not really a goals person.

[B]

Our final question from the random call.

[A]

Oh my gosh. I feel like I'm on some game show. We're gonna get to level four.

[B]

Sorry, this is our last time trying to like enjoy the fun questions before we get into the morbid ones. How do you stay present in such a busy time in your lives?

[A]

I think that yes, the stage of life that we're in is a very quote unquote busy time. But also the blessings of having littles is that I think you'd be shocked at how actually slow our day to day is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like they are in bed at like 7:30. We're home. We're home a lot.

[B]

We did have that night every day where we hung out with our brother and sister in law so late that we put them to bed at 11:00pm yeah.

[A]

See that was unique though.

[B]

That was unique.

[A]

Like I feel like people would be shocked by how slow and simple our day to day life really is. Like we're on more of a routine than we ever have been. Because with the kids I think they just thrive with like order and routine. Every night we just hang out as a family and like play outside. You get in the pool with them. We do bath and bedtime and dinner. Like it's. It really does feel like it's fairly slow. Like I don't feel like where we're at right now, we're like overwhelmed or drowning. We're just in such a sweet season where like we. It's taken on a slower pace. Wouldn't you agree?

[B]

Yeah. I love the season that we're In. I feel like we're very protective of.

[A]

Our family time too.

[B]

Like our. I guys, I seriously, I think I've said this on the podcast before. It felt like we were parenting on expert mode. Like, I used to play Minecraft in middle school. Okay. There was expert mode. And I would like never survive expert mode because it's so hard.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then you do easy mode and it's like, like chill. You're just chilling. And I feel like that's what happened. Like, I feel like we're on parenting expert mode. And now with our boys being so close in age, they do everything together. They entertain each other. Like, obviously I love. We spend a lot of quality time together, but I don't have. It's not like we have an only child. We have to entertain them all the time. Like, our kids will just go play on their playset and go swing and go down the slide.

[A]

It's fun to play with it and.

[B]

We'Re able to like do the dishes and like, you know, pick up our house. And it just feels like we're parenting on easy mode right now. So it's so fun.

[A]

Say if you're wor. If you're having. Struggling as a parent with staying present, I would encourage you to examine your online behavior. Because I feel like I have fallen so easily in this trap of like filling any gap time with scrolling and that messes with your brain. Your brain is not meant to ingest all of that. And so if you just maybe have like enforce stricter boundaries with your online or your phone usage.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You wouldn't feel like this lack of stimulation when you're playing with your kids as much.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's like it would be dopamine enough to just play with them and color with them and like go on a walk.

[B]

Yeah. So I feel like especially putting time limits on the apps that you scroll on. So like if you're gonna spend an hour on YouTube a day, but you're watching like a 30 minute history video, that's something I would do. Cause I'm a nerd. And then like a 30 minute science video.

[A]

Well, it's like you can scroll, but maybe this isolated to their nap time or once they're in bed. Because then you won't feel like you're totally. I don't know how to put it.

[B]

That's actually a really good idea to like leave leave. You know, if you say you want to give yourself, let's say 45 minutes a day to scroll, you know, you give that to yourself at the End of the day. Because then you've gone through your whole day.

[A]

That's what I have a lot of my friends do. They like, put their time restrictions to, like, their kids. Nap time.

[B]

That's cool. So they restrict their, like Instagram and TikTok.

[A]

I actually don't think you can restrict an app app for a certain amount of time, but they allow themselves 30 minutes and then they only do that during that.

[B]

Really cool.

[A]

Yeah. I wish the apps could say you could only use this from X time to X time. I wish. I don't know why they don't.

[B]

I think there's a way to do that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I've done that actually with my phone.

[A]

Okay. Help me with that then.

[B]

Yeah, I can set it up for you. Because I've done it, I've said it.

[A]

I think that. I think that can help you immensely because it's like, you're not the problem. Your brain has just been trained to get dopamine hit after dopamine hit after dopamine hit. And so then when you're with your kids, it's not. Your brain's not getting that same release, but if you train your brain to not need that as much, then you're gonna find more fulfillment. I really believe this. You'll find more fulfillment in just like being with your kids and playing with them.

[B]

Yeah. All right, now we've moved into the sad questions. So sorry. Now we're gonna talk about sad stuff, but we gotta craft some questions from you guys about miscarriage. So we thought it would.

[A]

Once again, if you're like pregnant right now and this is gonna be like, like making you fearful, like, just get off of it. It's totally like, I would have been that same way a month ago. Two months ago.

[B]

No shame. No shame at that. Have you been putting off a doctor's appointment because you have a busy life and you just don't want to drive to the doctor? That was me. Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably know that I have adhd. I actually got diagnosed with ADHD by using ZOC Talk.

[A]

That's just common knowledge.

[B]

Setting up an appointment through ZOC Talk was how I was able to get diagnosed with Zoc.

[A]

Talk is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. You can book in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty. You can even filter for doctors who take your insurance and who are located nearby and are a good fit for any medical need. You may have and who are highly rated by verified patients. I think finding a doctor, the right doctor at the right time is one of the most difficult tasks as an adult, especially one that takes your insurance. So I love how Zocdoc streamlines that entire process.

[B]

And it's nice how they make appointments so quick and easy because Zocdoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. And you could even score same day appointments. I've actually done that in the past. A year ago when I had a concussion, I was able to get a same day appointment to be viewed by a doctor. After I told my symptoms, they were like, you should go to the emergency room. So anyway, I use Zocdoc and you should too. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocd.com unplanned to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com Unplanned Zocdoc.com Unplanned we really.

[A]

Like to go hard during the day. I would say we like to keep it busy, keep it lively, get out of the house a lot. But at the end of the day, we love to come home and really wind down.

[B]

We read books in bed, y'. All. We like to get cozy in our sheets.

[A]

We love to get cozy. Here's our bed right here. This is where we get cozy every single night.

[B]

We've got the cozy earth sheets on this bed right now, y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

And it is so cozy.

[A]

Just think about how much time you spend in bed. I it's like basically for us it's like nine hours a day.

[B]

Yeah. And we are a huge fan because cozy earth bamboo sheets are temperature regulating and guaranteed to give you a comfortable night's sleep.

[A]

Yes. For Matt, he's like sleeping next to a furnace. And for me, I'm always cold. And so it's nice that has that temperature regulating quality so we can both feel comfortable all night long. And their cuddle blanket is also so luxurious. It offers a combination of comfort and style. It's literally draped right on our sectional in our living room. And I always am like, everyone just give this a feel right here. I'm so proud of that blanket.

[B]

And when you buy from cozy earth, you're making a risk free purchase because there is a hundred night sleep trial. Yes, you heard that right. 100 night sleep trial. So you can try them out and if you don't love them, return them hassle free. But trust me, you won't want to.

[A]

They also have a 10 year warranty because once you feel this level of comfort, comfort, you'll want it to last a decade.

[B]

Head to cozyearth.com and use our code unplanned for up to 20% off. That's cozyearth.com code unplanned. And if you get a post purchase survey, make sure to let them know you heard about Cozy Earth right here. Because home isn't just where you live, it's how you feel. Let's go home with Cozy Earth. First question we have is, how is Matt doing? He was so strong during the last podcast. How is he processing? Okay. To be honest, I am on antidepressants, you guys, so I feel like that's really helped me, like, to like, I wish I could take credit for. Wow, I'm. I looked so strong and I, I'm like, really being tough. Like, I saw a comment, I was like, wow, he's being really like, you know, just there for Abby. And that was nice.

[A]

But you have been.

[B]

Well, thank you. I mean, I've, I'm trying my best out here, but, you know, I'm also, like, not perfect. There's, there's definitely things that I could be doing better, but it's, it's one of those things where I have been on antidepressants and. Because, like. Yeah, because I'm on those, like, it really. I think it's helped me a lot.

[A]

Yeah. And something else is that, like, when we were in the hospital when all of this was happening, a lady came in to talk to us, like, about grief a little bit. And I feel like we were so in shock at that point that this, this is like the one thing I really remember her saying because it was very helpful. And I saw this pattern in our own marriage and like, as we were like processing everything that had happened was that, like, moms tend to grieve immediately and grieve so hard. And like, I certainly did that and am doing that. And then once, gradually, once the mom is able to like, maybe stop being so teary every day, get back into like a little bit more of a swing of things, like, kind of just get back on our feet again is usually when it starts to hit dad. And then because dad's been taking all the hits. Right. And like, being strong, being the person to lean on. And that's exactly what you've done. Like, you have fielded all of my grief and sadness as you're experiencing yourself. But, like, I feel like you've almost been letting, like, holding it together because I'm crumbling so much. And then now as I'm getting on my feet again, I feel like it's starting to hit you more and more in waves.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, now I feel like we can go through this together. Whereas before, if you would have, like, been, like, crumbling like me, I don't know what we would have done.

[B]

I'll be honest, too.

[A]

Like, you had. You had to fill in so many gaps for me because I was just. I was just a mess. I couldn't get off the couch. I was just sobbing all day, every day. And so, like, you had to. You had to be strong. You had to keep going for me. And, like, I feel like you were just going on this adrenaline and, like, I have all this responsibility. I have to do this. I have to do this. I have to do this. And that, like, you couldn't even begin to start your own griefing journey. Exactly.

[B]

I'll be honest, like, that. That is exactly how I felt. Like, I think I've been allowing myself to really think about things. Like, it. It almost was like my brain wouldn't let me think about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like. Yeah, I. I don't know. Like, the more that I do think about it, the sadder I get. And I. I think obviously there can be an unhealthy way to do that where you, like, never allow yourself to grieve and you never process the emotions. But I think that, like, for one, the antidepressants have helped me spread that processing time out, so it's not like a big wave at once. And it just, like, overwhelms me, and then I can't work. I can't take care of, like, you know, they're, you know, there. There's been. Been days where I, you know, had to. Had to fill a lot of different gaps just because, like, I think it's. It's more normal for women to, like, especially with you carrying our baby for all of those months and then going through that, like, it's just so overwhelming for you that, like, you just feel utterly hopeless. And so I think, like, that that is something that happens. But, yeah, for me, it has been more spread out. And then that allowed me to kind of keep things going, keep, you know, wake up with the boys, give them their breakfast, like, you know, take them, take them to school, whatever it needed to be. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like I, like, literally shirked off every responsibility onto you for so long that, like, you were like, okay, I have a full. Like, I have all these things to do that. It was like you were doing all these actions where it was like the emotions didn't even have room to come in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, fully until, like, maybe now it's, like, starting, you know.

[B]

Yeah. And I also think, like, something programmed in my brain since I was a kid was just to, like, not show emotion. Like, I feel like the. The emotion. I've talked about this with my therapist. Like, I feel like, like, positivity, happiness, like laughter. I feel like that's, like an okay emotion. But, like, you know, especially when it, like, for myself, I just don't feel like it's, like, it's appropriate for me to show sadness. So I, like, as. As a guy, I was, like, trying to be the tough guy, so it's really hard for me to get to that place. I don't know. Anyway, I, I.

[A]

You've been such a rock for me and our family and. And, like, you've taken on so much so that I've had this room to, like, process and grieve and heal. How it felt appropriate and. Yeah. Couldn't have done it without you.

[B]

Thank you. It's been weird. It's been weird, though. Like, the. The time. The random times, it just hits me, and I'm like. I'm like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, it just, like, hits me of, like, just how effed up everything was and is and just how sad it is. But it's just like, okay. Like, just like little. Just like little moments of just like, realizing that happened to us. This isn't like, somebody else that this happened to, which is awful. This happened to me and my wife. Like, that just gets me. Next question is, why aren't you calling your loss a stillbirth? This is coming from a stillbirth. Mama herself. I. That's very sweet of you to ask why we are calling it a miscarriage. Because I think medically, if you. If you look at the definition, like, in the state of Arizona, miscarriage is up to 20 weeks. Stillbirth is past 20 weeks. And so it was 17 weeks when we found out the news so very late. Miscarriage, you know, very similar process as what? Very similar process as someone going through a stillbirth goes through because they have to deliver and labor.

[A]

It's honestly the same process of a stillbirth. But. Yeah, it's a weird thing.

[B]

It's weird. Yeah. But that's.

[A]

That's why I definitely relate to stillbirths.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Experiences.

[B]

Oh, 100%. 100%. Yeah. What has been the most positive experience to come out of this terrible time?

[A]

I mean, obviously feeling community, love and support has been incredible. So appreciated. It feels so. At a time that's like so like unmooring, like you feel so insecure, like anything can happen to you. It feels really anchoring to have like, I would say we have like an army of people in person and not in person like that, that love and support us and are rooting for us. And so that has been great. There have been other positivities. I feel like I'm. It's still hard for me to see that, like, where I'm at right now. Like, I feel like every once in a while when I think of something positive, I. Like we share it with each other, but it's. It's not at the top of mind yet. We're still, like, we're still, we're still down in the dumps. So it's hard to like think of the positives, but. But certainly, like our community has been such a light. What would you say? I would say, well, I can think of another positive too. I view life so differently now because of this. Like, I. I've always would say that I've view life in such a high regard and like babies as such a gift. And now I'm like, they're truly a miracle. Like every person. The fact that you're here is a miracle. And like. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think, I think for me, as weird as it is, it's like almost made me want to have more kids.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just because I like, recognize like how beautiful life is and how beautiful it is that we've been able to bring life into this world. And as awful as it is that we have been through a miscarriage after having two very successful, you know, great pregnancies, you know, everything. I think it's just like the positivity of family, the positivity of like my kid. Like, I think another reason that. Another thing that's helped me in addition to antidepressants during this time has just been our kids. Like, I've spent more time with our boys in the past couple of weeks, like percentage wise of my day than ever. Like, I just spend so much time with the boys and we have a very deep bond and that probably that's been amazing. Like, it's been, oh, it's been so good. Just have a relationship with them that I quite honestly was not expecting at all. Like, it. The deeper I get into fatherhood, the more I understand why people rave about it so much. Because it's just like they're my best friends. Like, I Love, love our kids so much. I love them.

[A]

A really, really stellar dad. Like, you're amazing, and you can tell that it, like, you find so much purpose in your role as a dad. One more positive thing I could think of right now, I'll probably think of some more down the line once I'm not in this dark stage. As much as we're describing it is that, like, I have gained so much, like, more empathy and, like, perspective now.

[B]

Sometimes I'm not very good at, like, sending gifts to people that are going through something. And so all the people sending us things has been make, like, made me want to. Next time I see someone that goes through something, I want to, like, reach out to them and get their address so I can send them an edible arrangement or send them. Send them flowers, send them a gift card, something, you know? Yeah. Because people have done that for us, and it's been really nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Next question. Sorry if this is overstepping, but has the loss of your baby girl strengthened your marriage? We actually just talked about this in the car. Yes, it has. So that's that.

[A]

Anytime I feel like you go through a trial, like, I think anytime in general in your marriage, you're either moving closer together or further apart. It's really hard to just remain neutral.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But especially in a trial, I feel like you're going 2x speed. Like, you're either gonna run to each other at 2xP or you're gonna run apart at 2x speed. And like, from the very beginning, like, we just were, like, we have to cling to one another through this. And that has. Yeah. I couldn't have gotten through this without. Without you. Like, literally not even. It would have looked very, very differently if I did, if you hadn't been there for me in the way that you have. And so, yeah, I feel like I'm trauma bonded to you even more now.

[B]

Trauma bonded.

[A]

Love you.

[B]

It's awesome. That's so dark. Okay. How will you two as a couple be memorized? Why can I not speak? Memorializing your girl. I've lost two babies and don't know how for us. I'm not going to get into the details because we want to keep a lot of things private, but there is a place that we plan to visit, visit once a year to remember her, because it's where we have decided to place her remains. And so that place is going to be very special to us. And, you know, every time we go, I think it'll just, like, it'll. It'll. We'll just we'll think about that time, and it'll be sad, and it'll be hard. But I think it'll also make it a conversation point with our boys that they can understand what happened in an age appropriate way as they get older.

[A]

Yeah, we're, like, gonna do a family activity.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's that location every year. I mean, we have more things, too, but that's, like, the main one that we're like, okay, that will be, like, an annual thing. Whereas, like, I have her on my necklace, like, close to my heart. And so, like, I feel like that's also a really good talking point, like, as our kids. And, like, I can just touch it and remember her.

[B]

Yeah. And show the boys.

[A]

These are all my babies.

[B]

All mama's, mommy's babies, which I saw you say that to. Was it Augie and Griffin the other day? And did they ask further questions about that? I can't remember if they.

[A]

Like, sometimes they do and sometimes they don't.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think that's my goal. I don't ever want it to feel like. I just wanted to feel like a normal conversation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, yeah, those are. That's, like, the main thing that we want to do for her.

[B]

Next question. Would you recommend grief support groups? Did you do it? This is from someone that lost their son at 24 weeks. I'm so sorry. That's awful. Awful, awful, awful. I think grief support groups can be amazing. I think we haven't attended any specific groups.

[A]

Our hospital has an event coming up because October actually is like, Infant loss. Like, Pregnancy Loss awareness Month.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So there's, like, events at our hospital that we've, like, looked into, and then also grief support groups. I kind of, like, have created my own.

[B]

Yeah, you really have. I mean, you have all these moms that, you know.

[A]

I think that's. That is an amazing resource, and I would 1000%. Even if you're like, I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to think about this. I don't. Like, I want to avoid this at all costs. Like, I think that he will be shocked at, like. Like, the fruit you see from those conversations. Like, it is. It's also just, like, think of it as a way to honor your. Your baby that you lost. Like, keeping them in conversation keeps them alive in some degree. Like, their spirit alive in some degree. And so, like, if you're like, not. Don't think. You're like, okay, I don't want to do this, because, like, I don't need it. Think about it as a way of, like, also honoring your child. That's helped me, too, because I'm like, oh, my gosh. I feel like talking about this constantly, and I'm constantly wearing on people, and. And it's like, no, I want to keep her memory, like, very much alive.

[B]

I think it's good to have people that have been through it, too, or are currently going through it, because then it doesn't feel as weird to talk about it. Like, there's nothing wrong to talk about it with people that haven't been through.

[A]

It, but they also know the right questions to ask.

[B]

Exactly. So. So, you know, whether it's. Maybe you're a new widow, maybe you're somebody that just lost your spouse. Like, maybe you're someone that's going through something really hard, and you're like, I don't know what to do. I am in the darkest place ever. A grief support group would be amazing for you.

[A]

And they helped us come up with, like, ideas of ways to memorialize her and, like, to have these conversations with our kids. Like, just that shared life experience is such an amazing tool.

[B]

And the other thing, again, you know, it doesn't have to be a grief support group. It can literally just be somebody that you. That you know personally or, you know, maybe it's an acquaintance that you barely know, but you know that they've been through the same thing. Reach out to them, because you're gonna be able to connect over this, like, shared trauma that you both have, and it's gonna make you both feel a lot better to actually just talk about it, and you don't have to keep it a secret that you're going through this. Next question. What do you wish people knew who had a family member going through the loss of an unborn child?

[A]

Wild. I think bring it up, because especially the nature of, like, miscarriage or stillborn. Like, you're already having, like, a certain complexity to your grief because you didn't get to, like, you don't have memories to share with this person. You don't have, like. Like, I feel like that's how, like, I honor people that I miss that have passed is like, oh, you share memories. Yeah, well, we don't have that. Like, all we have is memories of the pregnancy, which feels like another degree distant, and no one even brings those up. And so I would just recommend, like, bringing something. Bring it up. It's scary, too, and I totally have felt this way before, like, where I'm like, oh, I don't want to make them sad by bringing this up. It's like, oh, they're already sad, by the way. Like, this thing just happened. They're already sad.

[B]

Abby, how are you handling other people's baby announcements, showers, etc. Etc.

[A]

I'm not on social media.

[B]

Social media, which is so wise, because when I scroll and I see those, it pisses me off. But it's not like, it's not personal. Yeah, it's not personal. Like, if that's you and you're posting that and you're like, I don't know if I should share. No, share it. It's just like, I'm the problem.

[A]

You're not the problem. It's something to be celebrated.

[B]

Yes, it's something to be celebrated.

[A]

And, like. But, yeah, I think it is tough.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, I'm so happy. I'm so happy for all my friends that are pregnant, but I keep having this image in my head, like, we were all running this race together, and then I just dropped out of this race, and I didn't want to, and I'm just, like, out of the race, and they're gonna finish. They're gonna cross the finish line, and they're gonna get to hold their babies, and it's just like. Well, it's like, I would want nothing different for them. It's just. It's a reminder of our loss.

[B]

But you did nothing wrong.

[A]

And that's. That's, like, a hard thing. Thing. Like, that's a hard thing to. To understand because it's like, I love my friends so much, and I love that they're. They have this beautiful gift, and it's. It's like, that's just what grief is. It's so complex. But everyone has been so respectful and awesome. I remember thinking at the time of finding I was pregnant, I was like, this is amazing. Everyone's. We're all pregnant together. We're all doing this together. And now, yeah, I just. I. This image, it will knock it out of my head of me just being, like, plucked out of this r. And, like, we all had different finish lines, and we all had different, like, journeys, and then I'm just out of it and that. It's such a bummer.

[B]

Next question. Not to touch on a sensitive topic. Did the boys know about your loss? How did they react?

[A]

Yeah, they're still really young, and I think that's a gift of being young, is that you're kind of given, like, what would you say? Like, you're kind of tapered into, like, the gravity of situations. Like, they definitely know, and they were sad, and they are sad. They talk about, like, I want to meet the baby, I want to take her home. Like, things like that.

[B]

Will you be sharing the genetic condition that baby girl has?

[A]

Bad. I think we're going to keep all of her medical, specific medical stuff private, just like we would our other children.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, We. We thought about cheering more, but it's just like, I don't know. I don't see how that would be productive. And it's one of those things, too, where you can. You can do so much research on what could have. What could have gone wrong. Like, something that happened that, like, is something that we have, that we could have gave to our kid. And then you, like, blame yourself. Like, there's so many things that parents can do to beat themselves up about miscarriage, and I just. I don't think it's productive, personally. The next question is, will you share the name of your sweet angel? That's sweet of you to. To say that, but we. We've decided just to keep that private. Something that we don't plan on sharing. And. And it was really just instinctual. Like, Abby knew the name pretty much right away at the hospital, and it was just one of those things where we just decided, like, you. You said it, like, right away. You're like, I want to. I. I don't know if I really want to tell, like, yeah, the. The world. Our daughter's name.

[A]

Yeah. But we say her name.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And the last question we have is, are you going to try for another baby?

[A]

Sometimes, like, a thought just, like, hits another way. Like, even just the thought of, like. I hate the phrase moving on, it doesn't really resonate with how I feel about that because we'll never move on from this. Like, this is something that I will always grieve that I don't get to be the mother to her in the way that I had hoped so badly I could be. So I think I'll always feel that loss. I don't know. I really feel like. I always feel that. I don't know. I'll let you know if one day it ever lets up. I anticipate this feeling changing, but I don't think I'll ever not miss her. And I'll never not grieve the fact that I don't get to be the mom to her that I really, really wish I could be. As far as, like, future babies, this isn't, like, the end for our, like, growing our family. Certainly, I would say for me and for you Going forward feels more complex than scary and scary.

[B]

Really scary. I think the scariest part is, like, you hear about people that happens to again, and, like, when you hear about those stories, it's like, gosh, I wish that didn't exist. Like, I wish there was, like, a. You know, wish this was like a board game where, like, okay, you got this bad card, so now you can't get another one of those for a while. You know, you get a. You get a free pass on the next pregnancy, but, like, life doesn't work that way, so I think that's, like, really scary.

[A]

It's always been, like, such an exciting thing for us, and we've, like, thought about trying for a baby.

[B]

Like, yeah.

[A]

It's always been so exciting and light, and now I understand the gravity that. That holds so much more. So, yeah. Like, it's like, I'm almost afraid to even say, yes, we will have more kids, because now it feels like anything can happen. Right. Like, if this one terrible thing can happen, any terrible thing can happen. But I will say we are hopeful to continue growing our family, and we'll take whatever timeline.

[B]

I know that we're gonna have another.

[A]

Yeah. It's like, Isn't it weird that it's, like, so scary now to, like. Like, to say anything about that with any type of certainty?

[B]

I mean. Yeah. Yes.

[A]

Okay. Mr. Optimus.

[B]

I don't know. I just.

[A]

I think we're going.

[B]

I don't doubt. I don't doubt that we're going to have another baby. I don't doubt it.

[A]

Well, we're going to let.

[B]

The fates decide.

[A]

The fates decide. Yeah, life. Decide what happens for us. We would be so joyful to have more babies added to the Howard family.

[B]

Yes, we would.

[A]

And I definitely see that happening. Like, I'm envisioning that in our future.

[B]

I am such an optimist. So, like, I don't doubt for one second that we're going to have. Have another baby, but the reality that we lost our third baby is just so dark and. Yeah. And it's just like, oh, yeah. All the dates. All the dates are hard.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Yeah. So I think you. This trip idea, this travel idea, I think that'll be good just to kind of get our minds off things. And I think, you know, we have plans soon to go to Disneyland, which I think will be good for the kids. Good for us just to, like, get out of.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Get out of everything and just so dumb.

[A]

I'm like, matt, how am I going to the happiest place in the world when I'm the saddest girl in the world.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But we already had this trip planned and I don't want to take that away from the kids. And I do think it'll be good. It'll be like a sweet distraction, potentially 100%. So we're gonna keep going. We're gonna carry this heartbreak with us. We're gonna try to grow around it. It, but don't want to ever anyone ever think I'm taking this lightly if I just. Because I'm not.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But that's just the reality of it.

[B]

Well, everybody, thank you so much again for being a part of this community. It's like just overwhelming the amount of love and support you guys have all shown. Thank you to everyone that has subscribed to our podcast, like, YouTube channel. That is just crazy to me that like, we have this community here. I think there's just like, there's more that I want to do for like, for the community that, that we have. Like, there's, there's so, there's so many great people. Like, I don't know, I don't know if we could plan some in person event or some like meetup or what that could look like, but there's just like a lot of cool people here. So just know that you're loved. Thank you for, you know, liking, sharing, sharing, commenting, anything you have done to engage because it's just fun to like, interact with you guys in the comments and chat with you. So we appreciate you and I hope that this, if you've made it this far to the. If you made it this far in the video. Wow, you're awesome. That's really cool.

[A]

Thanks for being here.

[B]

Yeah, thanks for being here, actually. Yeah. If you made it this far in the video, most people stop listening by the very end, so you should. You get a gold. A gold star. I don't know what, like, yeah, I wish we could send you all a gold star. This episode is brought to you by 20th Century Studios New film Springsteen Deliver Me from Nowhere, starring Golden Globe winner Jeremy Allen White and Academy award nominee Jeremy Strom. Scott Cooper, the director of the academy award winning movie Crazy Hulk, brings you the story of the most pivotal chapter in the life of an icon. Springsteen Deliver Me from Nowhere, Only in theaters October 24th. Get your tickets now. And Doug, here we have the Limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

[A]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us cut the camera, they see.

[B]

Us only pay for what you need@liberty mutual.com Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings Fairy underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates excludes Massachusetts. This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. It's Cybersecurity Awareness Month, and LifeLock has tips to protect your identity. Use strong passwords, set up Multi Factor authentication, report phishing, and update the software on your devices. And for comprehensive identity protection, let LifeLock alert you to suspicious uses of your personal information. Lifelock also fixes identity theft, guaranteed or your money back. Stay smart, safe and protected with a 30 day free [e-mail] Podcasts Terms apply.