The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Episode: Approaching Her Due Date, Remembering Our Daughter & Our First Marriage Conference
Release Date: March 4, 2026
Hosts: Matt & Abby Howard
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Episode Overview
In this heartfelt episode, Matt and Abby reflect on the days approaching what would have been their daughter Emerson’s due date. They share personal insights on grief and healing after losing Emerson to a late-term miscarriage, discuss attending their first marriage conference, and open up about how their experiences have shifted their perspectives on family, relationships, and coping with loss. There’s also a lighter touch as they share snippets from life with their two boys, highlights from a recent carnival, and even a movie review. The tone is honest, raw, and deeply relatable, offering comfort and solidarity for anyone traversing similar journeys.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Living with Grief: Approaching Emerson’s Due Date
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Abby opens up about the emotional challenge as Emerson’s due date passes (32:13–34:55):
- Sharing her daughter’s name publicly for the first time (Emerson Nicole), and the significance behind it.
- The importance of honoring and remembering Emerson as part of the family, paralleling what they did for their sons.
- Practical memorial ideas, like special locations, meaningful objects (Emerson bunnies), tattoos, and artwork.
- Advice to others: Take the grief journey at your own pace—there's no “right” timetable for making meaning.
Memorable Quote:
"Her humanity is what makes her loss...so painful, you know, because it wasn't... I'm not just grieving a pregnancy. I'm grieving a human." — Abby (33:20)
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Discussing ways to remember:
- Rainbow sightings after their loss as a tender family symbol (37:56).
- Abby’s advice on handling milestone days and supporting children through loss.
- The ongoing challenge: “The grief journey...is not linear...there's just no way. It's never gonna not be hard.” (45:22–45:50)
2. Navigating Emotional and Practical Realities of Miscarriage
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Honesty about pain and healing:
- How sharing their story publicly has been part of their healing (49:30–50:57).
- The duality of moving forward and carrying their daughter's memory: “We just carry the grief with us as we do the next right thing.” — Abby (50:51)
Notable Moment:
"Anyone that's sick of hearing about it — move on. It's not for you." — Abby (49:30)
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Supporting those grieving:
- Friends and family brought treats and comfort on milestone dates—ice cream, cookies, surprise dances on the security camera—as small but meaningful gestures (43:38–44:29).
- The role of therapy — individual, couples, and community as vital resources for making sense of loss (46:56–47:55).
- Recommendations for support organizations:
3. Marriage, Money and the First Conference Experience
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Attending the Money and Marriage conference with Ramsey Solutions (04:00–09:04):
- Insights from the event—learning to recognize “the story I’m choosing to tell myself” during marital conflict as a powerful tool.
- New routines: Using the Together App for daily marriage prompts, e.g., 30-second hug (06:59–07:28).
- Budgeting takeaways and candid confessions about personal spending habits (08:20–10:19).
- Matt’s ambition to pay off the family home and inspiration from witnessing debt-free screams at Ramsey’s event (11:28–12:53).
Memorable Exchange:
Abby: “That does not count. You mean what a freaking pile of horse crap.”
Matt: “Wait, Abby. A house? Houses are like the most expensive line item...” (10:32–10:42)
4. Family Life Updates: Carnivals, Skateboarding, & Parenting Realities
- Stories from a family carnival—face painting, dunk tank, petting zoo, and the “joy” (and sugar rush) of the ice cream truck (13:04–17:30).
- Abby’s brother’s involvement with the Husband and Wife Law Team and his appearance in the dunk tank.
- The balance between routine (naps) and letting kids make memories (14:37–15:55).
- New traditions, including private skateboarding lessons for both toddlers (17:47–18:19).
- Choosing to prioritize experiences and local businesses, sometimes “budget free” (18:20–18:38).
5. Movie Moment: Wuthering Heights Review
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Matt & Abby’s candid reactions to a new adaptation of Wuthering Heights (20:05–29:37):
- Trigger warning: Movie contains heavy themes that unexpectedly mirrored their grief experience (24:24–25:17).
- The film’s depiction of loss—"it just felt like it ruined my day." — Abby (25:06)
- Discussion on fidelity, communication in relationships, and the problematic romanticization of certain behaviors in media.
Standout Quotes:
“Infidelity — like, it was really sexy until she was married to another man. And then I was like, that's not sexy.” — Abby (26:28)
“Once you're in the brother category, you can't get out of the box.” — Abby (27:34)
6. Parenting Reflections: Talking to Kids About Loss
- Age-appropriate approaches: Abby telling the boys that Emerson’s “body just stopped working” (42:34–43:04).
- Handling tough follow-up questions with honesty and simplicity (“One day, everyone's body stops working—hopefully after we’ve done a lot of things.” — Abby, 43:04)
- Encouraging openness about grief and making sure kids feel safe and involved in memory-making.
Notable Quotes & Moments (With Timestamps)
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On grieving a real person:
"Her humanity is what makes her loss...so painful, you know… I'm grieving a daughter." – Abby (33:20)
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On grieving publicly:
"Part of the meaning-making for me has been talking about it publicly… If anyone's sick of hearing about it, like, move on. It's not for you." – Abby (49:30)
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On budgeting and marital teamwork:
"I wouldn't even give myself the word saver. But you're more spendy than I am." – Abby (09:04)
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On handling children’s questions about death:
"Her body just stopped working… And then I said hopefully it's when we've lived… done a lot of things." – Abby (43:04)
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On empathy and the grief journey:
"This grief journey...is not linear...you have so many good days… then you're just, like, freaking knocked back down." – Abby (45:22)
Important Timestamps (MM:SS)
- 32:13–34:55: Abby shares daughter Emerson’s name, discusses memorializing her
- 37:56: Significance of rainbows & family artwork after loss
- 42:34–43:04: How they explain Emerson’s death to their children
- 49:30: Abby talks about meaning-making and sharing openly
- 04:00–09:04: Money and Marriage conference takeaways
- 13:04–17:30: Carnival, ice cream truck, and family moments
- 20:05–29:37: Wuthering Heights review, triggers and relationship themes
Flow & Tone
Matt and Abby maintain their trademark warm, conversational, and unfiltered style—balanced between humor, vulnerability, and practical wisdom. The episode moves from playful banter and family anecdotes to moving reflections on loss, all the while modeling healthy communication and resilience as a couple.
Final Thoughts
This episode offers a candid window into the complexities of loss, parenting, marriage, and meaning-making. Matt and Abby’s willingness to “bring listeners along” in both joyful and painful moments makes the Unplanned Podcast a rare space—especially when it comes to taboos around pregnancy loss, grief, and ongoing family life. Their advice, openness about therapy, and community calls-to-action round out a truly human, supportive episode for listeners in all seasons of family and healing.