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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law not available in all states.
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Did you feel any gender disappointment, Matt Howard?
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What type of answer do I give right now?
B
Honest one.
A
To be completely 100% honest,
B
I was coming to terms with the fact that I didn't have like a girl sized hole in my heart. Like I have like a Emerson sized one. Like I just like wanted her. Yeah, having another baby girl wasn't going to fix that.
A
I've seen videos of where it's like they're about to announce they pop balloons or whatever and then the mother in law pops it with like pink or blue. Like she steals the announcement.
B
Oh, that is horrible.
A
Right? Should we say what the gender is?
B
Sure.
A
Three, two, one. It's up.
B
What's up?
A
What's up dude? And welcome back to Unplanned, a show where we talk about our lives in the hard. What? That's not the right show. That's always here. That's. That's the new show that we launched. We never made like a cool slogan front plan, you know.
B
I know it was all unplanned. We actually did kind of a lot of planning for a while.
A
I know, Yeah, I. But I guess it's kind of part of the fun of it, right? It's kind of crazy that we've gotten to interview the people that we've interviewed. By the way, thank you to everyone that has commented on the Elizabeth Smart episode. That was unreal that we got to sit down with such an inspiring person. Someone that's been through literally being kidnapped and held captive for nine months and abused and, and you know, just to hear that she's been able to press on through everything that she's been through is very inspiring to me. So yeah, thank you to. Thank you to everyone that commented and shared their stories as well.
B
Yeah, we definitely know that it was a very heavy subject matter. So it really was an honor to give her another outlet to share her story. I think the advocacy work she's doing is super, super important. And like Matt said, the response from you guys was super overwhelming too. A lot of you even felt inclined to share your story as a survivor of any type of harm that was similar to hers, which was really, it just means a lot that our plate, our platform is a safe place for you guys. And actually, did you want to read some of the comments?
A
Yeah, yeah. I mean, here we have a comment right here from Laura. She said, thank you so much for sharing. As a fellow, as a fellow survivor, it's always helpful to hear how other people have dealt with forgiveness, with forgiving their perpetrators. I really liked Elizabeth's comment about forgiveness, about how forgiveness can almost be self serving in a way where it's like when you forgive someone, you are like releasing all this like anger and like just, I don't know, it's like I've, I've felt like times in my life where I just didn't want to forgive someone and then you do forgive them and it makes you feel better. And so I kind of liked how she said she has her own definition of forgiveness and crazy that she was able to forgive her, her captors. I don't know, I don't know how she was able to mentally do that, but that's just so incredible.
B
Here's another comment. It says, that was incredibly intense and such an amazing podcast. I'm currently going through essay abuse counseling myself. This now, after 41 years of hiding it because of shame, I finally am at a place where I'm ready to move on from my past. Elizabeth is such a strong woman. You've inspired me today. It's like so incredible. It really is. And yeah, getting to talk to her was super surreal. So thank you guys for your response on that. If you haven't already listened to the episode. I really do think that in our conversation she opened up about things that I had never heard about as someone that had followed her story fairly closely.
A
Yeah.
B
So I do think that there is more value to listen. Giving it a listen.
A
Yes.
B
I think you're gonna get something out of it that you didn't get out of the documentary that you haven't heard about her story before.
A
And if you guys didn't know this, the more subscribers that we get on our Unplanned Podcast YouTube channel, the Bigger the guests are that we can bring onto the show. I mean, as you've seen, we've had some really incredible opportunities. I'm hoping we can continue to bring on big guests for you guys. And we're. One of the goals we have this year is to hit a million followers or hit a million subscribers on Unplanned. So if you have not subscribed, please, please, please take two seconds just to tap the subscribe button. And it's actually the majority of you guys that, that listen, don't Actually subscribe. So if you could just take two seconds, subscribe. It's really easy. It's free. It's a free way that you can support the show and. Yeah. And then you'll also get recommended our stuff, hopefully more frequently so you can see the cool guests that we've. That we'll bring on in the future.
B
Yeah. Thank you guys so much for watching and sharing and let us always know what you want to hear from us next, like, who you want to see us talk with, have conversations with. We really appreciate your feedback.
A
Also, let us know what we should do. Like, I think we should do a giveaway for a million subscribers. So if we hit it this year in 2026, we'll definitely do a giveaway. Let us know if you think it should be, like, a dollar amount. Should it be a trip? I mean, if you have. If you have any idea. If you have any ideas, put them in the comments. I mean, another thing, too, right? Like, maybe it's. Maybe it's like, I don't know. Let's just say it's like $1,000 giveaway. Do you guys want to be $1,000 to five different people, or would you rather it be like, one person wins $5,000? I don't know. I don't know what the giveaway is. I'm just throwing out numbers and ideas.
B
More the merrier.
A
But you think it should be, like, split up between five people?
B
Yeah.
A
Because then you have a higher chance of getting it. So I don't know. Let us know in the comments what you think this giveaway prize should be. But we want to, like, give back to you guys and thank you for the support you've given us for the show. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Psa. I. My voice hasn't changed because of pregnancy. I think some people thought that.
A
Yeah.
B
I think we've just gotten all the winter sickness in the spring.
A
What is up with that? So Abby and I both. Not. Not last night, but the night before, just started getting so sick. And I think it's our toddlers that are getting us sick right now. Support. Abby's, like, really congested. Sore throat. She's been coughing. I've been sneezing a lot.
B
I've been peeing my pants like freaking crazy.
A
Well, that's pretty.
B
Having a cough when you're pregnant is. Should be illegal.
A
I'm sorry. That stinks.
B
And what's weird is I only pee myself in the second trimester. You would think that the bigger you are, the more pressure you'd have on Your bladder. But that's not the case for me.
A
Where was the most uncomfortable place you've peed your pants?
B
Anytime. It's been in public for sure.
A
Has it happened more than once in public?
B
Yeah. Like a trickle.
A
Like, will you see it like on the ground if you pee Your.
B
That one time at the coffee shop in la.
A
At the coffee.
B
Wait, that's wearing a dress. Bad move. Don't wear dresses.
A
Wait, that's right. Was that when we were touring the Fox lot?
B
Yeah.
A
Yes, I forgot about that.
B
So it's like, funny, but it's also, like, so annoying. Like today I was doing jumping jacks at the gym and I was like, oh, man, here we go. Anything where my legs are spread and I'm jumping is not good.
A
Did you pee at the gym?
B
Probably like a little trickle.
A
Yeah, but did it go like, on the gym floor?
B
No, no, no. That would have been crazy.
A
Okay.
B
Really crazy.
A
Where was. Where? Where have you peed your pants before?
B
Why are you asking so many questions?
A
I don't know. I feel like. I feel like ping. Peeing your pants is something that, like, pregnant.
B
I do a lot at home.
A
Pretty unique to, like, pregnancy women. Like women that are pregnant. Pregnant women and then like kids probably, you know?
B
Yeah. I pee my pants more than our kids, for sure.
A
Yeah.
B
Well, I guess not the one in diapers.
A
Do they make any products for women that are pregnant?
B
It's called incontinence.
A
And that's literally what it is.
B
Yeah. I mean, I'll probably have it when I'm elderly as well.
A
Oh, so it's really made.
B
I mean, heck, if I'm already. At this point, I think I'm in the minority with the peeing my pants thing. But you know what? I'm just going to be here for anyone that is also in the same position as me. It's humbling. Like literally last night, when I start coughing more at night, when I changed my underwear like four times, I was like, okay, get me a pad.
A
I felt so bad for you.
B
I was so frustrated. We finally lay down. I'm like, frick.
A
Oh, yeah. To watch our show last night.
B
Sneezing.
A
Yeah.
B
Can never be safe. But I have confidence that once we get to the third trimester, I'm not gonna have this as much.
A
Speaking of peeing your pants in the gym. You're back in the gym. How do you. How does it feel to be back at the gym?
B
So good.
A
How many workouts have you done now since you got the approval to be
B
back in the gym every day? Since I've been approved.
A
So is that four or five?
B
Yeah.
A
Friday, Saturday, Sunday was a break.
B
No, I went Thursday after I got approved.
A
Oh, my gosh. You did. You've done five.
B
Saturday, Sunday.
A
You've done five workouts now.
B
Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, six.
A
Oh, my gosh. That's a lot. Wait, no, that's. Honey, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, that's.
B
I did Sunday. I went on a two and a half mile run. I'm counting that. Okay. I'm counting that.
A
You're right. You're right. That does count. A run is a workout.
B
I, I, that was the hardest by far.
A
I thought that you usually.
B
The run was so hard.
A
Yeah. What was it like to run 2 1/2 miles pregnant?
B
Not good. I had so much confidence, and then as soon as I started, I was like, oh, wow, I feel heavy.
A
Yeah. Yeah. Running, I don't like to run. I mean, I'm trying to get better at it. I, I run from time to time. Did, did you enjoy any part of that?
B
Yeah, Yeah. I feel proud of myself, but I mean, no, I'm not going to do that. Maybe when our kids are in middle school and high school, I'll be a runner.
A
Okay. Okay.
B
Not my season.
A
Yeah.
B
Not my season.
A
I feel like I would rather, I mean, I, I enjoy running if I have, like, cool stuff to look at, you know, like, if I'm like, I could do like a trail run in the mountains, I think I could enjoy that.
B
Okay, well, that feels like a lot of elevation change. Yeah, I don't want that.
A
You want it to be flat?
B
Yeah, of course.
A
Why flat?
B
Are you kidding me?
A
But, like, it makes it boring.
B
It makes it way harder. No, I actually, my friend, that was running or. What do you mean? That was such a weird question. Why flat?
A
I mean, I don't know. It's just like, it's just like, it's like you're on a track and you're just seeing the same thing over again.
B
I think you can over again find a place that's scenic, that is also flat.
A
Thank you to Ladder for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Guys, if I'm honest with you, coming up with a workout routine is not, not easy. I've struggled with doing that myself. And that's why I'm a huge, huge proponent of using Ladder because they have a workout plan with an expert coach that can be done from anywhere. So you can just go on your phone, have this expert, like, walk you through your workout, have a video of, like, every Single motion you're doing to make sure you're doing the form properly. And if you haven't heard of ladder, Ladder is an expert strength training plan. It's real progressive programming design by certified coaches. You get a new plan each week that builds on the last. And there is an in ear coach that guides you through every set with cues for reminders and motivation.
B
The app also remembers your weights, reps and sets so you can see yourself getting stronger over time. And I think that accountability is really strong and important.
A
Oh, 100%.
B
Because even I forget, I'm like, wait, what did I do last time? And it's hard to make progress if you're not pushing on what you've already built. And so that's great. That ladder has that built in.
A
Remove the guesswork with ladder and get a real coach in your ear telling you exactly what to do for every workout. No thinking, everything planned just for you. If you have an iPhone, head to ladder fit unplanned and take a quick quiz to find your perfect ladder plan. Use our link and get a free 7 day trial with no credit card and $10 off your first month if you join. But yes, a big development that we. I think you guys already know this. If you watch Abby's Instagram or pay attention to short form content is Abby is off pelvic rest.
B
Yes. Let's first of all explain that for those of you that don't know.
A
Yeah, pelvic rest is something that women have to do, which is, you know, no working out, no intimacy, no sex, nothing like that for however long the doctor says.
B
Well, most people get put on pelvic rest by a doctor if they have placenta previa, which means the placenta is
A
covering your cervix, which you didn't have.
B
I didn't have that. I think our doctor was just being extra conservative. The placenta was 1.62 cm from my cervix and he said he'd like to see it over 2 centimeters.
A
Oh my gosh. I didn't even realize we were talking about literally like a tiny amount. We were talking about 0.28 centimeters.
B
I know. And I actually was kind of confused because, like, odds are I'm gonna have another C section. And I think this is more of a concern if you're planning on having a vaginal delivery because you don't want that to come out first.
A
Wait, so then I'm confused. Why is that? Why was that a problem?
B
I think there's other risks associated with it being on the cervix but yeah. And I also think they're just being extra cautious, which you certainly appreciate, especially given our circumstances.
A
I mean, we did what the doctor said, but ye. We didn't have sex for literally a month, you guys. Which is for us was hard. It was very hard. I literally. You know what's funny, guys? This is what's hilarious. I was hanging out with my. My guy friends. We, like, all got together because our wives schedule, like, wife hangouts all the time, and we're like, hey, we should have a guy hang out. We should have a dad hang out. Let's all play pickleball. And so we did. We, like, all hung out and we were just chit. Chatting it up. And I was, like, cracking a joke about how, like, you know, just. I don't know, just between guys just
B
joking about and our whole podcast audience now.
A
I guess you guys are hearing this now. Whatever. But just about how, like, active Abby and I are in the bedroom.
B
Oh, my gosh.
A
Next day, literally, Dr. Goes, yes, you guys have to take a break from that for a month. And I'm like, no. I'm like, why? This is crazy.
B
And the office. I said, oh. Oh, yeah, yeah.
A
So that was. That was funny. I think. I think my. I think my friends thought that was funny for me, too.
B
That's good. You know, I'm glad everyone else thought it was funny.
A
Did you think it was funny?
B
No, I didn't think it was funny.
A
Well, okay, be honest, though. What was worse of, like, don't put me in this point of what you had. Oh, actually, I think you're gonna say working out.
B
At the beginning it was working out, and then at the end, it was my dreams.
A
You looked at. Can we say this? You looked it up because, like, you know how. And I experienced this when Abby and I were dating.
B
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don'. Don't go there. That has to stop. I know exactly where you're going, and it has to stop. Too far. Okay, let's just.
A
What's an appropriate way of explaining what it is?
B
There's none.
A
You can't even stop. Okay, okay.
B
There's none.
A
Never mind. We're good. We're good, we're good.
B
Just think about.
A
You just peed your pants right there. I am so sorry. Do you need to go to the bathroom?
B
No, I'm staying right here. The next guest that comes and sits on this couch, they're going to be
A
like, this is where Abby.
B
No, it didn't go all the Way through gu. Just trickle. Anyway, we're gonna pause Matt's thought there. Let your mind fill in whatever gaps you wanted to do. We're off pelvic rest. It's fine. Everything's good. Actually, the placenta must have moved a lot, which actually surprised me because I was like, okay, how is this actually even gonna help? The ultrasound tech was or so at our follow up appointment. The ultrasound tech put the sonogram on and she could tell right away that it had moved. And they were kind enough. They saved us, like the large doctor fee.
A
Yeah.
B
They just like, kept us in that room and didn't have us go in the doctor room. And they're like, I must have moved, like, considerably.
A
Part of me wonders. Part of me wonders if one of them, like, somehow came across a clip of us talking about how expensive medical care is in the United States.
B
No, I don't think they care. They're like, no big deal.
A
Yeah, but I thought I was.
B
Yeah. Anyway, we're cleared, everything's fine, and the baby's looking good. So that's really the thing that matters the very most.
A
So thankful that baby's happy, healthy. We at the time of recording this, Abby is 23 weeks pregnant. Next week, by the time you guys are watching this, it'll be. We'll be at 24 weeks, which is the week of viability, which is so incredible because I guess, like, if women ever go into like preterm labor or anything like that, the, like, the baby's good, right?
B
Yeah. Or they have to take the baby out for some reason.
A
Yeah. Which is just crazy that like a 24 week old baby can live outside the womb. That wild.
B
A lot of help.
A
But yeah. I mean, it's not. It's not ideal for the baby, but it's wild that our technology is like advanced that much. Have you ever seen a baby that's 24 weeks outside of the womb? Like, because when we got the scan last time, they were telling us our baby's over a pound.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
No, my friend had a baby at 28 weeks.
A
That's early. That's really early. And then I guess you're just in and out of the NICU for what, three months?
B
A few months, yeah.
A
Remember when we had Haley Hess and Mitch Hess on our podcast? They said that their nicu bill was $7 million from having triplets. Crazy, right?
B
It's insane.
A
How do you feel about traveling to Hawaii next month? We're going. We're going back to Hawaii. How are. How are you feeling about that?
B
I'm excited. I feel like that'll be really good for our family, like, to have just, like, some time away to kind of just enjoy and slow down a little bit.
A
Our boys are obsessed with waves. Like, I've been going in the wave pool with Griffin at the Rebel Surf park, which is in Arizona. It's like a surf. Like a surf. A local surf place. It's the only place you can surf in Arizona is Rebel Surf Park. And Griffin loves going in the waves with me and just, like, letting the waves hit us and just, like, jumping into them and playing in them. He's. He's been obsessed. I'm excited to go in the actual ocean with him.
B
Yes. It'll be so fun. We're kind of doing a couple different things in one stay. Staying at a resort and then staying at a house, and I think we'll kind of get, like, a good experience out of it.
A
Are we dumb? Are we dumb for not just, like, either staying at only a resort or only staying at the house?
B
I mean, only stay at the resort. It'd be very expensive.
A
True. But then when you have to pack up your stuff and. And move it, I think one traveling with kids, that does suck. But, yeah, one time isn't a big deal. We actually did that the last time we went to Hawaii as well. We packed. We stayed on Airbnb.
B
About next week, we're going to be at Disney. We're going to pack up every single day.
A
But I thought for Disneyland, I thought the resorts pack up your stuff, or I thought they, like, move your luggage for you between. Yeah, you're right. Dang, Are we dumb for doing that? Yeah, that's so dumb. Should we talk about why we're doing that?
B
Yeah.
A
Okay. So I had this idea, guys, to stay at every Disneyland resort that there is. There's only three of them. There's not a ton. I've seen, like, a lot of YouTubers do videos about staying at every single Disney World resort, which is crazy, because
B
how many Disney World ones are there?
A
Maybe if people enjoy this video and we're able to, like, that'd be so fun. Somehow recoup our investment. We'll. We'll make another one. But yeah, guys, like, there's. I've seen a lot of YouTubers make that video, and it's like, let's do. Let's. Let's do Disneyland. Let's do the three Disneyland hotels. Yeah, they do.
B
Nice.
A
They move it for you. Yes. So we just pack it up and put in our suitcases, and then they'll just move it between the resorts.
B
So you have to bring it to bell service. Yeah, that makes sense.
A
Okay. That's awesome, actually. That's so nice. And then it'll just be in our room for us when we get back from the parks.
B
It just says it'll arrive at your
A
new hotel later that day.
B
You probably have to get it from the bell service at the other.
A
So this is. This is one of those YouTube videos that I'm so excited to film, you guys, because it's just. I think it'll be fun, like, staying at. Yeah. Every single Disneyland hotel. And walk me through the different hotels there are. Abby.
B
So first of all, okay, the different hotels, there's Pixar Place, which is, like, their newest one. Then there's the classic Disneyland hotel, and then there's the Grand Californian, which.
A
The Grand Californian is the nicest.
B
Yes.
A
It's, like, within the park itself.
B
It's basically in the park. Yeah, it is in the park.
A
That's crazy.
B
So we're doing this trip for many reasons. First of all, we love Disney. Second of all, our kids have birthdays close to the baby's due date, and so we're gonna kind of need to be a little proactive about celebrating them in advance. And they always want to go to Disney. They talk about it, like, every single night. When they're sad, we're like, just think about Disney.
A
Yeah.
B
And it makes them happy.
A
I love how casually they ask us about going to Disney.
B
Yeah. They're like, can we just go to Goofy's kitchen right now? I'm like, we're out of state, but no big deal.
A
Yeah. And then that's when it happened. That's when we had to explain to them how, like, money works and how we have to work to make money, and we can't just, like, go to Disney the time.
B
We have magic key passes, which is basically, like, their mem. Like, their annual membership to Disneyland. But we have, like, a tier that's, like, lower.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, one of the lowest, actually. So we have, like, a ton of blackout dates, including. Which. We did not know this. All of summer.
A
The entire summer. So who would have thunk it?
B
So we can't go, like, all of summer. And so we're like, okay, well, we obviously can't go in August because we're having a baby then. And we're probably not gonna want to go in September because we're not a baby. So if we want to use our, like, magic key pass, we need to go now. And so we just like last minute booked this trip and then we'd always kind of been sitting on this YouTube video idea of trying out all the resorts and we kind of combined everything to this trip. We're celebrating both the boys. They'll still have birthday parties, but like this will be like their birthday Disney trip.
A
Yeah.
B
And we're also filming this video of trying out all the resorts, which I think the kids will be think it's so fun because we don't usually stay on Disney property. Yeah, we usually stay off property. Just because you save a lot of money.
A
Thank you to Cash App for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. What if the card that you spend your money on had discounts and rewards for the places that you spend the most on? For me, that would be travel. I love to travel. We do spend a good amount on travel because we like experiences over things, flights and hotels. And yeah, it really does add up.
B
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A
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B
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A
Launching now for a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use code CASH APP10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member fdic. Cash App Green overdraft coverage Borrow Cashback offers and promotions provided by Cash App, a block income brand. Visit Cash App Slash legal podcast for full disclosures. But here's the deal, babe. When we stay at the hotel, we usually stay out for Disneyland.
B
We get like a two bedroom.
A
We get like a two bedroom. So the boys have their own room. We have our own room. What do we do? We're all going to be in one room.
B
Yeah, we're all sharing a room.
A
Dang.
B
Yeah. Which is so funny because Augie wakes up about two hours earlier than Griffin.
A
We'll just have to go to bed when our Kids and there's no way
B
they're going to be able to nap because we're going to not have a room available. Because if we're switching every single day, our check in won't be till after their nap time every day. We'll have to check out at the other place before then. So we're just kind of a sleepy trip. We're gonna have to go hard.
A
We're gonna have to. We'll probably have to like go back to go to bed, go hard and go home. Yeah, we should probably like skip nap time but then put them to bed with that. We don't have an option around like 7:30 because they're gonna be absolutely tired. Okay. Maybe leave the park.
B
We'll never get to see the World of Color.
A
How late do you want to stay? How late do we have to stay for World of Color? Is that like an 8 o' clock show?
B
I don't know.
A
We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.
B
Yeah, but it should be really fun. I feel like it hasn't really sunk in for us that that's like literally happening. Yeah, we'll be in Disney at this time next week.
A
Wait, that's crazy. By the time you guys are watching this video, we'll be in Disney. Oh my gosh.
B
I know.
A
That is so cool. I'm excited for that.
B
It is so fun. I can't believe that we'll be celebrating a four year old and a three year old that trip.
A
Gosh, that makes me feel old that we have kids that old. That's crazy.
B
How do you feel about the fact that we are going to be empty nesters before we're 50? Probably. Unless we have a surprise gift.
A
Assuming that we stop at having four kids? Because I feel like that's like that's the number right now that we have in mind. I would say that means that our last baby would be born when we're both 30 and then the baby, the kid would be out of the house when we're 48, right? Yeah, 30 plus 18 is 48. So gosh, yeah. We won't even be 50 yet and we'll have no kids in the house. I think my vote would be just to move back to Hawaii.
B
Honestly, I knew that would be.
A
I think I would just go surf every single day. I think that's what I would do. What do you think you would do with all your time without not having kids? Would you just like cook? Would you just like open up a soup kitchen and cook for people like I feel like your love language is like baking and cooking. Like, maybe you would just. Maybe you could just like, open up your own little, like, Abby soup kitchen and you can just like, feed people in need. Yeah, I can help you too. When I'm not surfing. You know, I don't know how to cook. I don't know. I could. I know how to run a business, though. Maybe I could, like, help run the volunteers or something.
B
I don't know.
A
Yeah, that would actually be really fun, like one day to have a non profit of some sort. Like something that we're really passionate about.
B
I could easily see us doing that.
A
And I. And here's where I go back and forth on, like, the nonprofit thing because, like, it'd be fun to start our own. But then there's also so many nonprofits that already exist. Partner with, that we could partner with or donate to, because there are. They've already figured out the logistics of like, helping people, and they just need money to help pay the expenses. So I don't know. I. But I do see the. The joy in having your own where it's like, it's like your baby and you're so excited to, like, help people.
B
Yeah, for sure.
A
Yeah. I mean, what do you. What do you honestly see us doing when we're 50 years old and we have no kids in the house?
B
I'm sure I will just follow my kids around wherever they decide to set roots.
A
Do you think.
B
Do you think we wouldn't, like, start going into mom. Mother in law mode?
A
Yeah, just help with the babies.
B
Hopefully grandma mode pretty quickly too.
A
Yeah. Do you think we'll have.
B
So excited. I've already come up with. Yeah. I'm Lolly, your pop.
A
Oh, my God. Lolly and pop. So 23 years from now, Griffin will be 26. We already had a baby when we were 26.
B
We had two.
A
So I'm 20. We're both 27 right now, so. Yeah, I mean, maybe. Maybe when. When Griffin is 26, maybe he's already gonna have a kid. Who knows?
B
You never know.
A
Maybe he won't even want to have kids.
B
No, he always talks about it.
A
Really? That's right. Yeah, he does.
B
He's only three, so we're not gonna hold him to that, but. Yeah, I would love that. And I feel like I'll just be hanging out with my friends, like planning parties, volunteering. I might take up some hobbies. I feel like when I'm older, I might golf or something.
A
You would golf?
B
Probably pickleball.
A
I could see us being Pickleball partners,
B
whatever is on trend at that point.
A
I could see us also playing tennis.
B
I'm gonna have a book club. I might start a library.
A
People are sleeping on tennis now. Now that everyone plays pickleball. If you look at, like, pickleball courts, the pickleball side is always packed, and the tennis courts are just wide open.
B
Let's do tennis court.
A
I thought about getting into tennis because I think it takes more physical skill. Right. You gotta run. Yeah. You gotta run a lot for tennis.
B
Okay.
A
I think that's, like, a good workout.
B
Take up tennis. I might actually be a fitness group. Fitness instructor.
A
I could see you doing that.
B
That would be fun for me. Or maybe I'll just start working at a coffee stand so I can just chat it up and make coffee. There's a lot of things I could do, I think.
A
I think finding stuff to do in our spare time is not gonna be a problem.
B
Yeah. I'll just be throwing gatherings.
A
Yeah. I think the. The bigger question I want to ask
B
is, like, our kids.
A
What are we gonna do as a family for the next 20 years, like, with all these. These kids? Because I. I've got all these big ideas for travel. Like, I think. I think we could probably try out, like, doing some RV trips, like, renting a big old honkin RV and, like, going to national parks.
B
Are we those people, though? When you really think about it, I think we are. Like, I really feel like I need.
A
Well, I think the RV has a good shower, babe. I think we could shower in the rv. We could literally poop in our rv.
B
See that? I don't know. I mean, I give it a shot
A
because I think, like, logistically, then you never. You don't have to, like, get all your stuff out of the vehicle, and then, like, your. Your home is on wheels, so you can take it, like, from national park to national park. And there's different, like, campsites that you have hookups to hook up your water to.
B
Traveling like that, I feel like you spend your whole time trying to survive that. You can't really just, like, have fun.
A
Okay. I. I also do see the.
B
If you have to go empty out your toilet, then it's like, think about what you could have done with your time.
A
I will say if you run the numbers, it can actually be cheaper just to stay at it, like a budget hotel, than it is to, you know, rent or buy an RV, because RVs are really expensive, so I could see that. But I do. I want to be, like, an outdoors family, you know?
B
Me too.
A
I Don't want to be the family that's, like, on screens all the time.
B
Well, we're not.
A
Yeah, I know, but like, that. I think it's, like, easy to slip into that trap. And so I want to, like, be the family that just goes on hikes and adventures and, you know, we could even be the family. Maybe one day we get a boat. Like, I know boats are a ton of work, but maybe one day. Maybe one day when we have, like, a bunch of preteens and teenagers and stuff, maybe it would make sense for us to have a boat.
B
We just need to make friends with someone with a boat.
A
That's true. That is easier. Then. You have to. You don't have to take care of the boat.
B
We don't know the first thing about taking care of a boat.
A
I've heard.
B
What if it is a ballast?
A
Well, you know, my uncle used to have a boat, and then they sold it after a while because it just. I think they had a lot of problems, and there's a lot of maintenance, and then they had to keep moving it whenever they moved and. Yeah. So I don't. I don't know. I have heard, though, that I didn't
B
go on a boat until I was in college.
A
That's right. That's right. And we went tubing together in college.
B
Yeah. And I loved it.
A
But we need to take you tubing again.
B
My family wasn't a lake family. Yeah.
A
Why wasn't your family a lake family?
B
I think they're afraid of it.
A
Why are they so afraid of the lake?
B
Because they only go to Disney.
A
Yeah. Your family. That is weird. Your parents are Disney adults. They're like. Your mom is the definition of a Disney adult.
B
She is.
A
She's got all the popcorn buckets.
B
I love that.
A
She has for many years.
B
I hope to have that same confidence one day.
A
She just, like, buys things that are Disney just because it's Disney.
B
Yeah. Why do you think I'm the way that I am?
A
Because. Yeah. Because of your mom.
B
Right?
A
You're just like your mother.
B
Really? I think I'm more like my dad sometimes.
A
You're. I would say you're an even mix. I think I'm an even mix of my parents, too.
B
Yeah. I think so.
A
I'm weird, you know, so you didn't
B
have to make it negative, but you did.
A
I was, like, teasing you. I was trying to. I was trying to, like, make you laugh there when I said you're just like your mother.
B
I know.
A
I know. Was. It wasn't, like, the funniest joke.
B
You always say I'm just like my grandma.
A
That is actually true. Yes, that's true.
B
I think you're the only person that says that. Addy, do you think I'm like my grandma? She doesn't think I might, grandma.
A
I don't think so. I think it's like, well, Abby's grandma has like, so many friends. Like, she's like the. She's like this social girly in her community. I feel like that's you. Thank you to ZocDoc for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Raise your hand if you've been putting off a doctor's visit or a dental cleaning or an annual checkup. I feel like that's a lot of us.
B
I actually need to go today. Yeah, I think he actually.
A
I just rescheduled my dental cleaning because I have a busy schedule. Which is exactly why, like, ZOC Talk was created. Because, guys, we're busy. It's hard to, like, fit appointments in. And that's why I like doing my doctor's appointments through zocdoc. If you haven't heard of Zoc Doc, it's a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in network doctors so you can find someone you love. We're talking about booking in network appointments with more than 150,000 providers across all 50 states.
B
Whether you're looking for dermatology, dentistry, primary care, eye care, or any one of the other 200 plus specialties offered on Zoc Doc, you can easily search by specialty or symptom to build the care team that's right for you.
A
After I had a concussion, I was able to schedule a same day appointment with Zoc Doc to figure out what was going on and when. I was, like, curious if I had ADHD. I did that all through ZocDoc and that's actually how I was able to get my diagnosis as well as prescribe my medicine for ADHD.
B
We use ZocDoc and you should too. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com undeserved unplanned to find and instantly book a doctor you love today. That's z o c d o c.com unplanned sockdoc.com unplanned thanks, ZocDoc, for sponsoring this message. Do you think I'm outgoing like, you're like.
A
Yeah, you're outgoing like you're the matchmaker of friends. Like you. You put so many different people together.
B
Thanks.
A
That's just A fact.
B
I was wondering if I'm outgoing in my. I was just wondering if I was outgoing. And I'm like. I don't actually think I am. I think I'm. This is the thing about my personality that freaks people out. If I don't want to talk, I don't talk. And then it freaks people out when I don't talk, and then people reach out and think there's something wrong with me. Freaks your parents out.
A
Yeah. If I. I always feel like I need to talk.
B
Yeah. I don't feel the need to fill silence if it's quiet.
A
I've been trained by John and Teresa to fill the silence, and the only time that I'm not gonna fill the silence is if I've, like, known you for a super long time, but if you're someone that, like, I don't know. Well, like, we. We can't have.
B
Really? Yeah, I'm pretty comfortable with it. Like, I just. It doesn't even cross my mind to fill it. But then people. I know that I'm the weird one because people, like, text me after they see me, and they're like, hey, was everything okay? You're, like. You were more quiet.
A
That's really funny. That actually happens to you.
B
Yeah, it happened to me this week.
A
I've never once had someone text me.
B
That happened to me this week. If I don't want to talk, I just don't.
A
But when I'm in an Uber, you know what I always do.
B
And it doesn't mean that something's wrong. I just don't feel like it.
A
I always talk to the Uber driver when I'm. When I'm in an Uber.
B
You stop doing that more, though.
A
I. Okay, true. A little bit more. But even, like, recently, when I was stuck and stranded in la, talk to every single Uber driver.
B
I know, that's how I actually thought that you had your spark back, because you started talking. Talking to people on planes and Ubers again.
A
Oh, thanks.
B
Yeah.
A
Do you think I have my spark back?
B
I think you're getting it back.
A
Oh, thanks. I don't know. Okay. I'm getting it back. All right. Thank you, babe.
B
I'm not. That wasn't. That was a compliment.
A
Is it hard for you to talk right now because there's, like, all this congestion.
B
Does hurt.
A
And, like. See, I don't even. My throat doesn't even hurt. It's just all up here. I can just feel all this congestion, all this, like, headache going on. It doesn't.
B
You're kind of ruining my Thing with being sick. Like, I gotta just pretend I'm not and just keep going forward.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Keep treating it like everything's fine, and then you just get over it. But then last night, I hit a real.
A
Yeah.
B
A real tap out moment.
A
Yes. Well, you did. You did tap out. I just tap out, which is. Okay.
B
My flag.
A
I'm done. I just. I just hand. Which I like. You usually do the mornings with the boys, and I usually do bedtime with the boys. But I like.
B
I think I. I was like, I actually. You're not gonna see me.
A
Yeah.
B
God, yeah. But hey, you know what? It's fine.
A
Totally.
B
Should we talk about the gender reveal?
A
I think we should talk about the gender reveal. Should we say what the gender is?
B
Sure.
A
Three, two, one. It's a boy. If you guys did not already know that. We're having a boy. We're having a boy. I think we've been putting out some different videos. I think there's, like, a gender reveal YouTube video out if you guys want to go watch that. That was, like. Like, so much fun finding out the gender ourselves. That whole journey was, like, really exciting. We also threw a gender reveal party for all of our friends, which. Can we just be honest, babe? It was just an excuse to throw a party.
B
Of course.
A
It was a really good party, too. You did an incredible job throwing the party.
B
I had a great time. And. Yeah, like, let's go back to the beginning because we found out the gender at 10 weeks.
A
Yes.
B
We did the early, Like, I think it's called the NIPT test.
A
Yeah. Earliest we've ever found out.
B
Nitpicks. No PT NIPT test. We did, like, the whole screening just being high risk. We were recommended. And so it was the first time we've done that. And so obviously we were gonna find out the gender right away. We're like, if anyone knows, it's gonna be us.
A
100.
B
And so the day that we got the results, we sent it to my mom, who was, like, beside herself giving, like, being given this duty. We were at the gym and there was a glitch with the site that was like, show it. Like, the lab that they sent it to that would have the results. There was a glitch, and she was going crazy because she was, like, this close to knowing the gender.
A
And it wouldn't show it.
B
And it wouldn't show it. It wouldn't show any of the results. And I think at this point, like, I was obviously very excited to know the gender, but just so, like, wrapped up in fear about anything being wrong. Because I also knew that this test was gonna reveal everything. Like, like, basically assessing the risks for the baby having any of these, like, genetic problems. And like, I think they. I don't think they say that your baby has it, but they assess, like, high, moderate, low risk. And so I'm like, more so worried about that at this point. Very eager to know the gender, of course, but just so wrapped up in fear. And so then my mom, I was like, mom, refresh the site. Because now I think it's working. And she's like, she texted me afterwards. She's like, it's working. Okay. And then like, that day, she's like, oh, I didn't know you were gonna find out today. I was like, you don't get to just sit on these results by yourself for several days.
A
Yeah.
B
And so we went to Hobby Lobby because we couldn't find natural flowers that blue.
A
We went on an entire journey to go find blue and pink flowers because the whole idea was for our boys to bring us out the color of flowers that the gender of the baby was.
B
And we could find lots of pink flowers.
A
Yeah. And we couldn't find blue ones. We ended up going to Hobby Lobby
B
and we just got fake ones.
A
We found fake ones.
B
Fake blue, beautiful fake flowers.
A
So cute. And then the boys, you know, brought us the. The flowers that the gender of the baby was.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
Which was a boy.
B
I feel like this brings up the topic of gender disappointment because this is like a hot topic among, like, this, like the new mom community, pregnancy community. Because you got one side that's like, you should just be grateful and like, don't. You're not allowed to feel like that's so crazy. Like, just, just don't. Blah, blah. Don't worry about it. And then you have the other side that's like, no, like, your feelings are valid. You're allowed to, like, feel disappointment in some way. Did you feel any gender disappointment, Matt Howard?
A
Oh, gosh. I'm like, what type of answer do I give right now? Cuz.
B
Honest one.
A
I have, like, the honest answer. I mean, I guess. I guess to be completely.
B
Just be honest.
A
I guess to be completely 100% honest. Yeah. I mean, like, we. We lost our daughter because of the miscarriage. And so I really. I really did want a daughter. So I think at first I was just like, dang it. Like, I really, I wanted that more than anything. I wanted that for you because I want you to have like, a mini version of you that you can just like, go get your Nails done. And, and. And I just, like, see the sweet bond that you and your mom have. And even if. If our kid 20 years from now is watching this video back, it's like, the, the fact of the matter is, like, I'm so excited to have three boys. I. I think that the switch my brain quickly turned on of, like, oh, my gosh, like, I am one of three boys. This is, this is like something that I get to experience, just like my dad did. And I had this conversation with my dad when I took him to Universal Studios on like, a boys trip with me and my brothers, like, two months ago. And we just talked about how fun it, how fun it is to have, you know, your boys and, and how, like, maybe I go golfing with our boys and we can, like, two of us are on one golf cart, the other two on another golf cart. Like, there's so many fun things that we can do as just guys being dudes. I'm excited.
B
Yep. I would say for me, I did feel gender disappointment for about 30 seconds.
A
Okay.
B
Maybe less. I think that I've always said, like, I just feel like we're gonna have boys. And then sure enough, we had one boy. We had our second boy. And then like, I was like, I love the boy life. And then losing our daughter definitely opened up, like, a desire for something that, like, much greater than I'd ever had before. Like, of course I'd always loved to have a daughter, but it was just like, I never really felt an obvious preference.
A
Yeah. Did you feel guilty at all for wanting for, like, feeling disappointed?
B
No.
A
No. You didn't feel guilty.
B
I just am learning to feel my feelings.
A
Yeah.
B
Just let them be. So I had always pictured having all boys and then we lost a baby girl. And that kind of opened up a preference in my, like, in my heart for a daughter that I'd never had before. And so then getting pregnant again, I was kind of like, nervously, like, hoping, like, oh, man, I hope we have a daughter. I hope we have a daughter.
A
Yeah.
B
And then this is gonna make me cry. But I think the reason I experienced that disappointment for like 30 seconds was because I was coming to terms with the fact that I didn't have like a girl sized hole in my heart. Like, I have like a Emerson sized one. Like, I just like, wanted her.
A
Yeah.
B
And so, like, having another baby girl wasn't going to fix that. And so I honestly think that this was like, sweet Grace in a way that, like, it's very obvious now that this baby is not ever gonna fill that gap.
A
Yeah.
B
This is a totally different baby, totally different pregnancy, which has also been, like, a sweet reminder, too, that this is not the same thing. We're not reliving the same thing over and over again. So then I quickly, like, I feel like you can even see the video, like, the span of, like, 10, 15 seconds. I just, like, felt so excited about this little boy. Like, just so excited. And I just feel like it makes a lot of sense with our boy life. Can I have a tissue, please?
A
Yeah, of course.
B
Like, I could totally see this boy joining our squad and, like, it being, like, just a whole lot of rowdy fun in our house. And, like, it has been. But honestly, like, that moment, it feels so foreign to me because we have known that we're having a boy for so long now that it's like, I even kind of forgot that I felt that way. But I do want to acknowledge it for any mom that just, like, like, does feel the same way. And I know some people feel gender disappointment way stronger than that. I'm almost hesitant to even call it that because it's like, we're so excited. We're so excited, and we're so thrilled, and we honestly, relatively. It doesn't matter at all to us, like, the gender of this baby. We just wanted to have a baby regardless of if it was gonna be a son or daughter. It's, like, it's almost hard for me even remember being like, oh, I'm kind of, like, disappointed by this, but I also want to be honest with myself for. With. For myself and for people that also have, like, experienced that. Mine didn't run super deep, but. Because I think I just, like. I just really would love to add another member to our family regardless. But now it just is like, boy squad over here.
A
Yeah. Boy Squad. Literally same exact family dynamic as what I grew up with, being the middle child of three brothers. I know.
B
So funny.
A
Which guys. I sent Abby a video earlier this week, by the way. Thank you for sharing that.
B
Oh, you're welcome.
A
That was very vulnerable of you. And also, I think it's cool. I think it's cool that we're acknowledging that, like, the slight gender disappointment that we felt, because I think it's normal to feel that. I don't. I think. I think where it ends, though, is,
B
like, it ended the second we found out.
A
Yeah. Yeah. And I think. And I think, like, if you're someone that is having severe gender disappointment to where it, like, doesn't end, you know, within, say, 24 hours, maybe. Maybe that's Something you need to go to therapy about and, like, talk through why you wanted that specific gender so bad. Because you don't want. I think it's important that, like, you love your kids so much. You never want something like that to come between, like, your ability to love your kid, you know?
B
Well, also, I feel, like, strong gender disappointment. Maybe I'm wrong, but in my opinion, really strong gender disappointment is honestly, like, you putting on all your hopes and dreams for your kid and, like, mourning all that at once. Like, say, like, for. If you're like, okay, a girl is gonna be, like, my little dancer, like, ballerina. She's do everything I did. She's gonna dress like me. She's gonna do her hair like me. She'd do her nails. It's like, maybe this girl is not gonna want to do any of those things that you want. It's like, you're building this, like, whole dream on a stereotype.
A
Exactly. Well, that's like what I said.
B
She could be a baseball player that wants nothing to do with dance. You know what I mean?
A
And I sent you a little video I saw of Chris Hemsworth with all of his boys surfing.
B
And I'm like, that sounds like a blast in Australia. And I'm like.
A
And I'm like, this is my dream. But, like, I'm not gonna force that on our kids. If our kids don't want to surf with me, I'm not gonna force them to surf with me. I mean, maybe. Maybe it's like, we make our kids try things. It's like, I'm just like, we make our kids try foods. I'll be like, okay, you're gonna try surfing. If you hate surfing, you don't have to. You don't have to keep surfing. We're not gonna make you. Yeah, but, like, I think. I think, like, it's really important to acknowledge that. And, yeah, I am really excited. Cause I can just like, visually see, like, me taking our boys, like, all of us together as a group, just going and surfing or going and golfing. I don't even like golf, but I would love to golf with my boys. Like, you know, snowboarding trips, hitting the skate park together, doing literally anything. Anything together. I'm just excited for it.
B
Oh, I'm stoked. I'm like, we already know all the boy things. Yeah, we got it. We gotta unlock my. And my really good friend just had her third boy, too. So we always talk about, like, anytime we go anywhere.
A
Yeah.
B
We're gonna be toting around six boys in total.
A
It's a lot of boys.
B
We can't go anywhere. Except each other's houses are apart.
A
Gosh.
B
Like, where else are we gonna go? We're taking to a restaurant. Six little boys to a.
A
No, we need. We'll have to go to a restaurant that has a play a little playset.
B
It can only be outside that boys together.
A
I've actually, actually thought about this. Like, I've thought about starting up some sort of of business or coffee shop or restaurant that has like a built in playset for kids.
B
There used to be more like the Joe's Crab Shacks.
A
Yeah, yeah. There's a Joe's Crab Shack in Southern California that has a playset. And we love taking our kids to that specific Joe's Crab Shack because they can just play.
B
I know.
A
And we can actually eat our food in peace.
B
They can't sit still.
A
Yeah, but.
B
Yeah, no, we're totally thrilled. We've got all the clothes. They are pretty wrecked at this point though, because our boys go hard.
A
But I know we're gonna say we're gonna save some money. Cause we don't have to like buy.
B
Yeah, I hear people say that. But here's what they forget is that moms a lot of times want their kids to match. And so then you just end up buying all new things each kid you have. It's just 3x starts off as 2x.
A
You don't have to match all the
B
things starts off as 3x.
A
Just maybe matching on weekends. You know, if we're going out weekends, going out to a dinner, we're getting family photos, we can get all matching outfits, get matching swimsuits.
B
It's just so easy to add. Like, if you see a really cute outfit, you're like, okay, I guess we gotta get it in every size now.
A
How do you feel about, like embracing being a boy mom?
B
I know. Do I seem like a boy mom?
A
You're a boy mom.
B
I guess I do seem like a boy mom. Like, I feel like it's so. I like, love it.
A
How funny is it that like, I'm a dude that did tap dancing in ballet class and I'm. I'm a boy dad. How funny is that?
B
Exactly. There's not like they could. There's no blueprint for what we expect of our kids. Like, for their life. Like they can do. They can do their thing.
A
Yeah.
B
They're so excited too. The boys are so excited. I think the way that we did it, they had no idea really what bringing blue flowers meant. But now that the baby has a name, we talk about him all the time, and they, like, make plans for him all the time.
A
Wait, they do?
B
Oh, my gosh. All the time. They're like, oh, I'm gonna say the name by accident, but, yeah, they've been.
A
Well, they spoiled the gender to, like, our entire family before the genre, because they kept referring to the baby's name, and it's a male name, so people were like, oh, it's.
B
Wait, say that again. Say that again. Say that again. Well, I think you spoiled it a couple times, too.
A
Yeah, I accidentally said something about being, like, a boy dad and something about, like. I think. I think I might have said something about trying for a girl, which I know I'm not supposed to say that.
B
I just think it sends the wrong message.
A
I feel like when you say you're
B
trying for a girl, it makes it sound like you're having another kid only in the hopes that you can have a daughter. When that's not the case at all. If and when we go to add another member to our family.
A
Yeah. Well, can it. Can it be both, though? Like, can we be trying for a girl? No, it doesn't work that way.
B
Because if you're trying for a girl and then have a boy, then you failed,
A
and that's, like, bad. Like, we're supposed to be like, whoa, we're sad. I'm just confused.
B
Having a baby should never be classified as a fail.
A
I'm confused at this point.
B
Point.
A
Okay, I see what you're saying. Yeah, there's no. Yeah, I did not view this in any way as a fail.
B
I'm just saying it doesn't sound right to say it. Okay, yeah, never say it ever again.
A
This is gonna get.
B
It's also not how we view it.
A
This is gonna get clipped, and then someone's gonna be like, wow, Matt hates boys, or something. I don't know. Anyway, Instagram. I do, actually. I do. Really. I actually really like having boys. I love it, but I really want a girl now.
B
Oh, my gosh.
A
But if it doesn't happen. Okay, I take that back. I will be content if we have four boys.
B
You have foot and mouth syndrome. Let's just put that.
A
Yeah, I do. I do. Thank you so much to better help for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.
B
I know a lot of people are feeling the burden of the inflation in our economy right now. Financial stress is a really real thing, and I know people personally that are experiencing it. We've had different seasons of our life where we've experienced it, and actually statistically 88% of Americans feel some sort of financial stress at the start of 2026. And struggling with money doesn't mean that you failed. Sometimes it's all about just accessing the right kind of support.
A
And that's exactly where therapy comes in. I actually started going to solo therapy. Was that a year ago now? Yeah. Wow. I feel like I'm more emotionally intelligent. I feel like I'm a better version of myself to my wife, my kids. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 6 million people global, globally.
B
BetterHelp does the initial matching work so you can focus on your therapy goals. They just send you a short questionnaire to help identify your needs and preferences. And their 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. But if you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time. I always think that as a mom, it's a personal duty of mine to show up as the best version of myself for my kids and for my husband and for my family and for my friends. And so I think therapy has really helped helped me access that more.
A
When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10 off@betterhelp.com Unplanned Podcast that's better. H lp.com Unplanned Podcast I also say things as they jump into my brain and then I, like, process them after they've already been said.
B
That's why I've recently started trying with you, and it never works. Do you want to try that again?
A
I like that. That's good.
B
No, you don't. You don't like it when it's
A
okay. Okay, next. Next up, we. We did a poll on Instagram to see what you guys thought the baby, the baby's gender was, and 72% of people said they thought it was a girl.
B
Aw, they're.
A
I know. They're so sweet. I think, like, everyone wanted us to have a girl because of what happened, but it's. Which is so sweet. Like, they. Everybody meant. Everybody meant well.
B
And I love that this baby is. It's just such a.
A
This baby's gonna be so lovely.
B
Oh, this baby's already so loved. And it's just so, like I said before, it's just a really sweet reminder that this is like a new. A whole new thing we're going through. Because a lot of times, like, especially early on, I was like, oh, my gosh, I have for reliving this. I can't like a lot of fear around reliving that.
A
We also consulted all of you guys on Instagram. Thank you to everyone that's following Unplanned on Instagram. The Unplanned podcast on Instagram. We, we did a little poll about gender reveal hot takes and the first hot take was mother in laws need to make sure they're not stealing the spotlight at the gender reveal. I would agree with that. I've seen some.
B
Is that a huge phenomenon?
A
So I didn't know that was a thing, but I've seen some like tiktoks where like mother in laws do feel the spotlight.
B
You're to hold me back.
A
What do you mean? Like, do you think at our kids
B
now we have three boys. I am the mother in law X3.
A
Yeah.
B
So. And I'm one that. I'm an eager beaver.
A
Oh yeah. But I think, well, do you know what's happened? Like, I've seen videos of where it's like they're about to announce and then the, the. It like goes off and the balloons are like, they pop balloons or whatever. They have like poppers and it's white and then the mother in law pops it and does the popper with like pink or blue. She's the one that announces. Like she steals the announcement from. From the couple. Have you heard of that?
B
No.
A
No. That's like what's happened?
B
Like she steals the poppers.
A
Yeah. Yes. To where the mother in law was the one that announced and yes.
B
Oh, that is horrible.
A
Right? But like, I think I wouldn't.
B
It is almost. It is hands down. I would literally never even think of doing that.
A
I've only saw like two videos like that though.
B
I've only seen intimate gender reveals recently. Have you seen there's been a resurgence of intimate gender reveals?
A
Yeah. I think everyone, I think every. Let's be honest, babe. I think like every influencer got scared of doing a gender reveal that like goes viral for the wrong reason.
B
Since we did it, we did a
A
big gender reveal, but ours was never like, we didn't go crazy. Like, there's people that have done like drone gender reveals deals where they have like drones showing like the color in the sky. There's our. Our sweet friend Nicole, the nomad partnered with a firework company, which she didn't know.
B
They like surprised how big it was going to be.
A
You guys have probably seen this video. It went viral like two years ago. But our sweet friend Nicole, the firework company that she collabed with surprised her. And rather than doing, like, a little pew, like, yay, one firework, like a Disney World level, they did, like, the most. The most world of color. We'll have to put the video up. It's actually really funny.
B
Consult her first.
A
We'll have to see if it's okay. I don't know. Like, we want to be respectful of her. She's so sweet. I felt bad that people were not being the nicest in her comments. But, like, you know, gender reveals. Some gender reveals have gotten a little crazy. You know, they've got a little. Little cuckoo crazy. Well, and so we just did, like, some simple.
B
As we said, the whole. No, I. As we said, the whole reason that we threw a gender reveal party was literally just a celebration of life, a celebration of pregnancy. Because, like, it's just another thing to just be grateful for. Because we were literally planning the gender reveal for Emerson.
A
Yeah.
B
When we found out, like, the horrible news. And so, like, the fact that we got to that milestone, like, if I'm totally honest, everything in me did not want to throw a gender reveal party for so long. In fact.
A
Oh, you didn't plan it.
B
I couldn't plan it until, like, the week before because it just felt like it was not gonna happen.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Like, it just felt like the rug was just about to be slipped out from under me again. And that's why I was saying, like, it was so nice to also be reminded because we did know the gender at this point. Like, hey, it's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. Like, this is totally different. This is totally different. But even still, like, my friends were so sweet. They're like, let me help. Like, and I just couldn't even let anyone else do it because it just felt like this pipe dream that we would have this gender reveal. Like, it just felt like it was never gonna come. And so, yes, it is silly to have a party about the sex of your baby, but in, like, the deeper level is that it's like, oh, we're just celebrating that we got to this milestone of, like, this stage of pregnancy that we never thought we'd get to. And, like, we get to just celebrate that baby's growing. We're here. We know more about this baby. And, like, it just felt like more than ever, it was important to celebrate, like, everything that was happening with his pregnancy.
A
Yeah. I just honestly view them as more of an excuse to throw a party. And I find it interesting here because one of the comments that we saw on instagram was someone saying that they're not even like a thing in Europe. Like, in Europe, nobody like throws gender reveals. Apparently they're too classy, which I get it. Like, yeah, Europeans are classy people. But guys, it is fun. Throat parties are fun. Gotta just. Even if it's just like a pink cake, you know, just a little something. A little something something. You know, you get. And then you get all your friends and family together. I. I also just love having parties at our house. Here, I'll get your water bottle for you.
B
Actually, can we explain like a little bit of like what we did at the party?
A
Yeah, let's talk about it.
B
So the theme was a baby is brewing. I got it off Pinterest. Don't think I'm trying to steal somebody's idea. It wasn't original. But then we had our favorite local coffee shop, Light Heart Coffee, come into a coffee stand. And they did pink and blue cold foam on top of coffee beverages and matcha and chocolate milk and lemonade. So we got all our bases covered. And so everyone had fun, like picking out their color of cold foam and their sprinkles on top. It was really sweet. We had a beautiful balloon display with little coffee beans on it. It said baby is brewing, boy or girl.
A
And we have a lot of LDS friends or what you might know as Mormon. And so our LDS friends don't drink coffee. They don't drink.
B
We did run out of chocolate milk
A
and so we had chocolate milk for them, which was, I thought was so thoughtful of you to have like the. The coffee.
B
The drink is dry.
A
The coffee cart had chocolate milk. So that was awesome.
B
And we had some pastries from a local bakery called Chunk that they're the sweetest ever. They have been just consistently the best ever to our family. And their pastries were so good. If you are local, you have got to try them out. And we also had some chicken minis from Chick Fil A. And then we all just like hung out. We didn't do any, like, games or anything.
A
Yeah.
B
But everyone just hung out. It was a beautiful day.
A
I have had. Oh, I hired a turf cleaning company to clean our turf before the gender reveal because our turf smells like poop and pee now that we have a dog. It's disgusting. And so they did a good job cleaning the turf for your contribution. It didn't smell bad. I did. I set up all the tables and chairs and you know, I've vlogged the whole thing. You guys should watch the vlog. It was a fun.
B
Yeah, we Made lots of videos of the day.
A
I think it'd be fun. Like, I love throwing parties so much. We should start just like, making like, like, party prep content. We just, like, vlog us setting up the party. Everyone can watch. Like, I think it's fun to watch videos, too, of parties being set up. Like, to see the change from, like, nothing to something being done is cool. And then. And then it's just, like, fun. Hang out with our friends.
B
Seriously, it was a really fun, great day. Read more of the horror stories.
A
Yeah. If you're not going to be happy for both genders, don't have a reveal or a child. That's what the hot take is from this person. Person.
B
I think that's pretty accurate.
A
Yeah. I mean, like, I. I could see that. I think. I think, like, some people I could see where someone would have, like.
B
Like, don't do it publicly if you're really going to be.
A
Yeah, yeah. If you are. I agree with that. If you are going to be, like, affected by not getting your boy or getting your girl, maybe do a personal reveal before the actual party. Like you don't want to. Like you don't want to. That just could make people uncomfortable. If you're like, ball. If you're, like, bawling at the chant reveal, like, it's like, it's a boy. And you're like, I wanted my girl. And you're like, bawling like you don't want to be. Do with that.
B
The videos I've seen are like, what dad will have, like, two perfect little, sweet little girls and they do the poppers and it's pink again. And then he gets so mad.
A
Yeah. See, like, you got to just tell the guy before, like, process that before the party.
B
That guy probably should.
A
Yeah. Maybe go see your therapist before maybe. Maybe schedule a therapy appointment to work through that. That is weird. Yeah.
B
Like, to actually be mad.
A
Yeah.
B
Actually, the book I'm reading right now that just happened, it's called the Frozen River.
A
Yeah. What is the book about?
B
The dad really wanted a boy and he had a third girl.
A
And he's upset and he was really
B
mad because he needs help. It was also the 1700s. They had. They had to make their own help. I don't know.
A
Wow.
B
Yeah.
A
That's crazy. Do you. Do you talk about your books on always here sometimes are people.
B
I've read a lot of books that nobody knows about too.
A
Do you like the I got you new books. Is this.
B
It was really sad. Sad.
A
The book that I got you was really sad. It's by. It's by the same author.
B
I gave it five stars.
A
You gave my book five stars. It's the same author that wrote A Man Called Ove, right?
B
Is it over? Ove? I don't know.
A
Ove. A Man called Ove.
B
I don't know.
A
Another person submitted this wasn't really a hot take, but she just said that she shot her husband with paintballs, which. That's kind of fun.
B
That's a good way to do it.
A
That is a good way to do it. I mean, like, his backs and turned pink no matter what. So you might need a. To have, like, some very.
B
No, you're supposed to wear a white shirt.
A
Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yep. I. I'm dumb.
B
I think. I think I've seen before someone did, like, water guns.
A
Yeah.
B
Blue or pink water. That'd be kind of fun. It gets a little crazy at some point.
A
Also, I think this goes without saying, you guys have been so kind and supportive with us since announcing that were pregnant with our rainbow baby. I think this is our first episode back since our announcement episode. So just, like, seeing you guys commenting nice things, supportive things in the comments has been just really encouraging. And I think we have, like, a really cool community here. Like, I think you guys are cool. Like, Abby. Abby got to meet a lot of you guys at an event that she did for her Always Here podcast. And I feel like the community for the Always Here podcast is very similar to the unplanned podcast, similar to the. The Madden Abbey community. And I think the consistent theme I've just seen in the people that we've met is just how you are. You're all so kind, and you're also just genuine and nice and, like, positive people. And that's, like, the people that I want to surround myself with. And I know that Abby wants to surround herself with too. So thank you to everyone for just the immense amount of, like, kindness that you've. That you've shown us, because we. We are genuinely so excited for this baby boy. And it's just. It's just gonna be fun to watch these boys grow up together.
B
I know.
A
Roughhouse.
B
So excited.
A
Wrestle. I think. I think, like, the more I read about, like, birth order and learn about, like, the dynamic dynamics between siblings, I think, like, well, like, correct me if I'm wrong, but our game plan right now is to. To have our fourth as soon as we can after the third, just because, like, having kids, it'll be a long time. I mean, because of the C section, it'll Be a long time. But, yeah, the closer they are together, I think the. The closer they can be as, like. As, like, friends. Feel so bad. I feel so bad that you're sick.
B
We'll have two little duos.
A
Wait, but we. Okay, this is a new development that we. We. We learned this, Abby, like, Like, two weeks ago at an. At a pregnancy appointment. There's a potential for you to not have a C section this time.
B
I mean, probably, like, less than 1% potential.
A
But I thought she acted. I thought the doctor acted like it was bigger than that.
B
I think it's only because we have switched doctors since our first son's delivery. Okay, so she is. She has, like, sought the hospital records from, like, our first child's delivery to see how long the shoulder dystocia happened. Yeah, his shoulders got stuck. And I think she would be more inclined to, like, let me try for a VBAC if it was, like, a shorter amount of time. Yeah, because she asked us how long he was stuck, and I was like, matt, do you have any clue? Neither of us had any clue. I think we both just, like, blacked out. But, I mean, I know that there was time for other nurses to come in the room, so I'm thinking that's a minimum of 60 seconds, which kind of feels like a long time in the grand scheme of if you have five minutes. You know what I mean?
A
Yeah.
B
So she's sought the record. So I'm sure at our next appointment, she'll probably give me a better idea. I think it also depends, too, on how the baby's measuring, because it's not like we have massive babies, but, like, definitely bigger than, like. I think they're like, 88 percentile, 90 percentile.
A
We've had bigger babies, but I think from what they measured this. This baby boy, I don't know if
B
that's totally accurate because the first scan was different. So I feel like right now we won't know, really, till the growth scan.
A
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think. I think, like, from what we've seen, our baby's average. Like, he's right there at, like, what's normal, what's good. So that makes us feel. Feel great that there's, like, no concern there. But, I mean, would you. Do you think you would actually go for a VBAC if. If your doctor gave you the option, Would you go for a VBAC?
B
If my doctor gave me the option? Yes.
A
Why is that?
B
Because I. I don't want to have. Wait, why are you asking me that question? I Feel like it's kind of obvious, like, that's minimal. Invade intervention as possible.
A
Yeah.
B
But if that, if a C section is deemed the safest option, I trust my doctor.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, I, I, I'm not one of those people that's like, I think that doctors are lying to me. Like, and so, And I do probably feel like I feel a lot of peace with having a scheduled C section too. So I'm like, either way, I'm like, I'm not super worried about it, and I feel comfortable. I'm excited to meet the baby.
A
I just thought that was cool that she at least, like, entertained the possibility of a VBAC for you, because I know that from what we've talked about, you would love to do a VBAC if, if it's safe. If the doctor thinks it's safe. And so, so her at least just presenting that potential opportunity is amazing. Just because, like, yeah. I mean, like, the recovery from a C section sucks. Like, you, you experienced that. It wasn't, it wasn't fun. It wasn't easy.
B
And then there's also just changes our timeline too. Like, it also limits the amount of babies you can have.
A
Exactly. And that's why she brought it up, because she was like, if you guys are planning on having a lot more kids, we might need to try to do the VBAC if, if we deem it to be safe. Because you really. I don't think you can do more. They limit you to four C sections. Right.
B
I mean, they don't.
A
Three.
B
No. You can keep having them, but your risk increases each time.
A
And that's of uterine rupture. Right. Just not good on your uterus because they're just cutting it open three times. That's a lot.
B
So, I mean, I feel like we're just. I think that's what the doctor's job is to do, is to just basically assess risk.
A
Yeah.
B
And so obviously it changes things if we intend to have a bigger family, but, you know, I would hate for the number of kids in our family to be limited just because of a C section, if that makes sense.
A
That totally makes sense.
B
So. Especially if it seems like it could be an option.
A
Yeah.
B
That's safe for me and for the baby. So. Yeah, I'm really excited to meet this baby. I already feel like I know his whole personality, and I already love him so much.
A
Yeah.
B
I always tell Matt, like, the baby, our baby's personalities, and I feel like I've been spot on. So, yeah, I feel like this guy is a little Comedian. I feel like he's gonna be really funny and chill.
A
How do you even come up with that with him just being your womb?
B
Trust me, I'm right. I know.
A
I'm excited to meet him.
B
I'm really in tune with him.
A
But that's hilarious.
B
Yeah. I'm so excited to be a boy mom of three. Like, I, like, love that.
A
And you look so cute. I love your dress.
B
You're nice.
A
The outfit today is cute. The bump is bumping. I love seeing you wear fitted dresses because I like to see the little bumpy. Well, everybody, thank you again for listening in for another episode of Unplanned. If you haven't left us a review on Apple Podcasts, please do that. It takes like literally 30 seconds to write a review. This is one that we got from Wesley 97. It says number one podcast. My wife introduced me to y' all about a year ago. She's been listening since the beginning and y' all have become my favorite podcasters. Matt, as a fellow husband, dad, and adhder, thank you. I have often found my ADHD as a hindrance or an annoyance, but you've helped me to appreciate it. Thank you so much, Wes. I appreciate that too. I like having adhd. I know it's like, it's weird. It can be. I know my ADHD can drive my wife crazy sometimes, but it's like I feel like it just keeps life kind of exciting, you know? You know, like, I don't know, my brain is. Is different than other people's and I've just, I've grown to accept it. So shout out to Wes, my fellow adhd, thank you to everyone that's left us. Review. And yeah, hopefully we can get to a million subscribers this year so we can continue to bring on cool guests to interview and have conversations with. So again, you guys, we're so, so grateful for this baby boy. And thank you guys for following along, for all the support, for all the kind words. We'll see you in the next episode. Three, two, one. Peace out, dudes. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying Big Wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront
B
payment of $45 for 3 month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate, first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra.
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Episode: Finding Out The Gender Of Our Rainbow Baby and Telling Our Families Finally
Date: April 22, 2026
In this heartfelt and candid episode, Matt and Abby share the emotional journey of finding out the gender of their “rainbow baby” after a previous miscarriage, discuss the nuanced feelings that came with their gender reveal, and reflect on family life, parenting, and future dreams. The conversation intertwines vulnerability, humor, and practical insights as the couple navigates the joys and challenges of pregnancy, raising boys, and planning for milestones. The hosts also touch on community feedback, mental health, and the meaning of celebrating small wins after loss.
Matt and Abby balance open vulnerability with humor, creating a space for raw feelings about pregnancy after loss, family expectations, and modern parenthood. Listeners are left with a sense of inclusion, reassurance, and the beauty of embracing both grief and joy as part of family life. The warmth and authenticity of their exchange reminds listeners that “unplanned” doesn’t mean uncelebrated or unloved.