Loading summary
Abby
Can we all just unanimously agree that fall is the best season for fashion? As the weather gets colder, it allows for cute, cozy sweaters, boots, denims. I love every bit of it. And Quince delivers layers that last. Sweaters, outerwear, and everyday essentials that feel luxurious, look timeless and make holiday dressing effortless. Quint's has it all. $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters made for everyday wear. Denim that never goes out of style. Summer silk tops and skirts that add polish and down outerwear built to take on the season. Perfect for gifting or upgrading your own wardrobe. Honestly, Quinn's Italian wool coats are at the top of my list. The cuts feel designer and the quality rivals high end brands, but without the high end markup. By working directly with ethical top tier factories, Quince skips the middleman and offers prices 50% less than similar brands. I love Quince specifically for wardrobe staples. I even got Matt some really nice navy pants that he can dress up for formal events that we have coming up around the holidays. And I pick myself out some shoes from Quinn's that I have been wearing a lot. As we transition into these colder months, step into the holiday season with layers made to feel good, look polished and last. From Quince, perfect for gifting or keeping for yourself. Go to quince.com unplanned for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com unplanned to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com unplanned this whole dog conversation has.
Matt
Become a big topic.
Abby
We invited the opinions, but now I'm sick of the opinions.
Matt
I just got this vision of Griffin growing up with the dog and, like, going off to college.
Abby
Are we talking ourselves into it now?
Matt
I think I am. I really. I kind of want to go get it after the podcast. I want to go get a dog right now.
Abby
Not a dog, the dog.
Matt
I want to get him in the dog that you want to get.
Abby
Are you in, like, are you, like, prepared for this? Waking up in the night?
Matt
I'll wake up in the night.
Abby
I'm scared. I. Why are you scared?
Matt
Welcome back to Unplanned. Can we just take a second to recognize how hot Abby looks today?
Addie
Holy.
Abby
Every time I get my hair done, you get, like, all excited. I'm like, maybe I should get it done more than once every six months.
Matt
When you look like this, I'm like, gosh, we're gonna end up with like seven Children, you look so good.
Abby
Lord willing.
Matt
How are you guys?
Abby
Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. If you're listening to this today, it's posted, and I hope you know it is not removed from me how big of a time commitment it is to listen to our podcast. Whether you listen every week or just here and there, like a full podcast episode is a long time to chat and spend with someone. And I just. I don't take it lightly that your time is so valuable and you choose to spend it with us. So, like, thanks for being here.
Matt
Thank you, guys.
Abby
It's such a busy season right now, but I, like, love this time of year so much.
Matt
We're hosting Thanksgiving this year. It's going to be so much fun.
Abby
We got the Turkey Trot.
Matt
Got the Turkey Trot.
Addie
I was going to ask.
Abby
Are you going to run that?
Matt
Yes, I am. I'm going to push the jogging stroller, and I'm gonna push Griffin. Oh. Or Augie. One of them.
Abby
Should I run with you?
Matt
You don't have to.
Abby
How fast are you gonna go?
Matt
I think I wanna try to see. I'm trying to get, like, the same time I did last year, but with the jogging stroller.
Abby
Oh, no, Honestly, I'm not doing that.
Matt
So I'm gonna see if I can do it. My goal is under 25 minutes with a jogging stroller, which I think will be count.
Abby
Literally, last year I averaged, like, just under 10 minute miles, and I still had a stomachache all day.
Matt
That sucks.
Abby
Which is not really what I want for Thanksgiving. I wanna be able to eat a lot, and I couldn't eat because my stomach hurt. I think I had the. The poops.
Matt
I was gonna save the shit. Oh, my God. Yeah.
Abby
So maybe I'll walk it the Turkey Trot this year. Gosh, it still makes me so sad that I was. Yeah.
Matt
Yeah. That you were gonna be pregnant on Thanksgiving.
Abby
Yeah. I envisioned a big bump on Thanksgiving, so that's a bummer.
Matt
Every time I see a pregnant person, I. I get excited for a second, and then I remember that that's not happening. And then I'm like, I know that.
Abby
Sucks, but seriously, I do feel so much better.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
A lot of really kind moms gave me, like, they're timelines, which I think that's actually helpful because it gave me realistic expectations that, like, this takes a long time to feel better from.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
But all their timelines were, like, pretty far out, so it was also a little overwhelming. I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, I'm gonna have to wait a year or Six months before, I can feel like I can breathe right again, but I don't want anyone worrying about me. I actually feel like I can come up for air again now, and I feel like I can talk about it, and I feel like I can. Like, there's no surprise now when I'm like, oh, I'm not. I'm not pregnant. I'm supposed to be pregnant, but I'm not. Like, there. It's like, I. I just feel like I can. I can breathe and I can think about the future a little bit more now than, like, I thought I would be at this time. Like, I've made more progress at this point than I thought I would.
Matt
Why? The closer that we get to the date, the due date, do I get, like. Does it hit me harder?
Abby
I feel like that's normal. Like, they say, like, the moms kind of deal with it really quick, and then the dads kind of, like, pause.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
And then. And I think what you're feeling is totally normal. And I actually really like when you talk about it, because it's like you spent some time. So much time making sure that I was better, and now you're like, oh, wait, I have, like, a lot of these feelings of my own to sort through, and, like, it makes me feel really good whenever we, like, talk about it and you, like, tell me that, like, I don't want you to struggle, but it makes me feel good because I'm like, okay, we are together on this. Like, we feel the same way about this. We are. Like, we can walk through this hand in hand.
Matt
Yeah. Like I said, I want to do. There's so many things I want to do to remember our daughter, because it was just, like. It was so short that. That time with her and something about what we've been through, though, just makes me want to keep growing our family, because I just. I don't know.
Abby
I mean, when I think I hear you saying, correct me if I'm wrong, is that, like, it just kind of, like, puts your whole life into perspective?
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
Like. Yeah. I don't want this to be, like, a particularly heavy episode, but just, like, seeing a life that ended so, like, way too soon.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
I don't know. It just gives you a whole new perspective on your life.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
And I think it would like it. And that I can say is, in a good way. It's a really hard way to learn it.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
Horrible way to learn it, but it's a really good. It's a really good thing.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
Yeah. I was also telling someone I was talking to a mom earlier this week about, you know, grief and loss and, like, what these next months are gonna look like as we're getting, like a couple months out from everything. And I was like, in a way, I feel like this really aged me. Like, I'm 26. By the time this episode comes out, I'll be like, days away from being 27. But I'm like, gosh, sometimes I feel like I talk to my peers and I'm like, you've never held a dead baby before. Like, I don't know. It does make me feel like. Not in a condescending way, but it does. It just. It gave me a. A deeper perspective on life than I've ever had before. I mean. I mean, I'm gonna say this too. I've had a relatively very easy life.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
So this was like. It's soul shattering for me. It has been so like. But I'm also feel so much stronger because of it. And I feel like we're stronger and I feel like our family stronger and just like. Yeah. If I had to think of some good things that came out of such a horrible thing, like, there has been good. Speaking of. For good.
Matt
Yeah. Yeah, for. Oh. Oh, yeah.
Abby
I'm thinking about Wicked still. I never talked to you about. I was thinking last night you're going to ask me.
Matt
Yeah. So last night, Abby and a bunch of her girlfriends went and saw Wicked. Give me your $0.02 on the movie. What's your movie? Movie review of Wicked.
Abby
So good. I had chills. A lot of times, I had chills. I cried a little. I surely did. And I was just like. I was just blown away the whole time. Like, the set is so gorgeous. You can tell they spent so. I don't know what they spent on this film, but, like, so much money. And the set and costumes and the special effects, like, it is literally like basically like no notes.
Matt
How was our girl Ariana's performance?
Abby
Really good.
Matt
Really good.
Addie
Yeah.
Matt
She seems so talented.
Abby
She went from pop singer to musical theater.
Matt
I know.
Abby
And I feel like the. I know the theater community watching the first one. They're not a. They're. They're judgmental group.
Matt
Doesn't it make you want to, like, do theater again? Watching.
Abby
Oh, my gosh. Intro song starts.
Matt
You're like, no one mourns the week.
Abby
I know, but this was Act Two.
Matt
Oh, okay. So is that song in act two? Is it how.
Abby
I think they do, like, a reprise no one wants? Yeah, yeah, there was some. They added a couple songs.
Matt
No way.
Abby
Yeah, Elphaba had a song. I don't, like, know exactly how many songs they added. There's a couple. I was like, this is not in the soundtrack. Yeah, there's two main songs. I feel like they gave Glinda and Elphaba each a song that was not in the soundtrack. Because think about it, like, the show is, like, what, two and a half hours long? Each of these movies is basically that length.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
So they added, they gave. And I also think, like, now I just feel like I respect the plot of Wicked so much more because you can really see all the details. I'm like, whoever put this together is so smart and, like, orchestrating this whole story with wizard of Oz and, like, how it all works, but then also when they tactfully, like, reveal things.
Matt
Wait, babe, did you cry?
Abby
Oh, yeah.
Matt
Guys, when we went and saw Wicked, the musical, like, five, six years ago, Abby and I both cried seeing it live at the fox Theater in St. Louis.
Abby
We didn't even cry at, like, the sad parts. We cried at the very beginning because it was just like, the nostalgia.
Matt
Yeah, it was a nostalgia of being theater kids.
Abby
We met every theater kid our age. Wicked is, like, quintessential.
Matt
Well, I think for me, I don't know if it was like this for you, but it was also kind of the realization of, like, you gave up on that dream. Damn. It was like, I've grown up. I'm an adult. And, yeah, I kind of, like, gave up on that dream, which is sad. The dream that I have now is you and our kids, and that's much better. But, yeah, we made the decision in high school.
Abby
Everything comes at a cost.
Matt
Yeah, we made the decision in college when we found out how hard the life of performing is for so many performers. You're on the road, you're on tour, you don't see your spouse for months on end. And so we were like, nah, that's.
Abby
For some. For some people, that's worth that cost.
Matt
It is worth it for some people, but not for. It wasn't.
Abby
It wasn't worth it for us. And so it's like. I think that's just how you have to. That's just a reasonable way of looking at life in general. Like, everything comes at a cost. And if that cost is worth it, then you pay it 100%. But if it's not, then you don't, and you have to just make those decisions. Yeah.
Matt
If I'm. If I'm away from you, like, more than 24 hours, I go crazy.
Abby
I know. I'M gonna miss you this week.
Matt
That's why it was so hard getting my hair transplant. Which, by the way, hair's growing in. Guys. It looks so bad right now, though. I need to get a haircut.
Abby
Honestly, I still think it looks good.
Matt
Well, not really. You can see.
Abby
Oh, look at those. They're long now, honey.
Matt
Yeah, you can see the baby hairs. I'm in the ugly duckling stage. So right now they're like. Yeah. Slowly growing. I got nine more months until we get.
Abby
There's nothing ugly about you, babe.
Matt
Thank you. That's very kind. Well, sweet. So I'm guessing you rate this movie, what, like a 9? Or 10? Out of 10?
Abby
Out of 10.
Matt
10 out of 10.
Abby
Yeah. I mean, I have a couple notes, but I'm like, I'm not even gonn. Because, like, that's so critical at this point. Like, I mean, it's. It's like fantastic. 1,000% yes. Like, it's literally one of the best movies I've ever seen.
Matt
No way.
Abby
Yeah. We need to take the kids to Zootopia, too. I was gonna actually say next weekend when your parents are in town. They love taking the kids to movies and they would love Zootopia, too. And I also kind of want to see it. So we might need to rent like, a whole row.
Matt
I seriously want to take Griffin to the Zootopia World in Shanghai, China. I think he would.
Abby
Why just Griffin?
Matt
I guess I could take Auggie, too.
Abby
Yeah, what the heck? Can we all go?
Matt
I guess we could all go. Do you want to go with us?
Abby
I'm scared. I'm scared of that flight with Auggie.
Matt
What's the weather?
Abby
Like, maybe that's why Auggie doesn't get to go. He's just a little bit. He hates, like, it. Honestly, it's like, okay, the trip is so fun and he would love it. But, like, what? Do you hate the journey there so much? That man hates being buckled down. That man literally needs to just run free and shirtless all the time. He's your son.
Matt
Yeah, he is my son.
Abby
He came over to me at preschool yesterday. He goes, take my shirt off. And I'm like, nobody. We wear our shirts right now.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
At home, school, preschool.
Matt
Fun.
Abby
He keeps things, I guess, at home, school, preschool. You can take your shirt.
Matt
I love how passionate he is because he's usually either like, so just like.
Abby
Like, belly laughing, belly laughing, butterflies are.
Matt
Flying, or he's mad and it's just.
Abby
He's raging.
Matt
Yeah. And I love it. Like, I think it's Hilarious.
Abby
Yesterday in the. Or, no, two days ago, in the car, I was like, hey, Griffin, it's really nice when you, like, ask people. I'm telling them to, like, check in. Like, ask how people are feeling. It's really nice to ask the question, how are you feeling? And so he was, like, inspired, and he asked Augie, he said, how are you feeling? And Augie was just totally fine, as far as I knew. But then he just goes angry. And I was like, oh, my goodness.
Matt
No. My favorite thing is when you asked our boys what they're thankful for, the first thing Augie said, bad guys.
Abby
Bad guys. We made, like, a thankful turkey. And, like, on each feather of the turkey, they. I had, I wrote down for them what they were thankful for.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
Auggie couldn't think of anything but bad guys.
Matt
And then Griffin was suggesting things for him.
Abby
He was like, maybe parties. And Augie's like, yeah, bad guy parties. We didn't make it on the turkeys.
Matt
All good. I think they love us so much, they weren't even thinking about us because they just. That's assumed, you know? It's like, assume that they're that.
Abby
Yeah. Let's hope that's the case.
Matt
Yeah. I am dreading the day when they no longer think we're the coolest people in the world.
Abby
That's never going to happen.
Matt
I could be away from them for five minutes, come back in the room.
Abby
Honestly, I do feel like you've been the favorite a lot more often recently than.
Matt
Really?
Abby
Yeah. I'm feeling like I kind of got the shaft. All right.
Matt
They still are huge fans of Mama, though.
Abby
No. Griffin was crying in the middle of the night last night. I went in the room, and he goes, he was calling for you. First of all, he's going, daddy. And then I walk in, he goes, go.
Matt
I didn't know he said that.
Abby
I was like, wait, are you okay? Well, I forgot that he even woke up in the night at this point. Like, I just sleepwalked to his room to check on him. And then he goes, go away. Leave. And I was like, wait, are you okay? I love you. Like, and he's like, yeah. It was just when he. When you didn't walk in, he was just like, I want nothing to do with you.
Matt
That makes me sad.
Abby
I know he loves. I know he loves me.
Matt
He loves you so much.
Abby
I know he loves me.
Matt
Yeah. I swear, though, there was a time.
Abby
He'S such a mama's boy, too. I'm like, why are you turning on me?
Matt
Which low key. You Know, I think in the moment, the initial reaction is like, oh man, does my kid, like, not like me? But I think, no, I know he likes me. As a parent, you just have to remind yourself, like.
Abby
Cause this morning too, they have all.
Matt
These emotions and sometimes your emotions lie to you. Which we learned from Dr. Arthur Brooks, Harvard professor, happiness expert, which we had on the podcast. Guys, that's actually gonna be.
Abby
Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's taken so long for the episode to come out. I still think about that every day.
Matt
Yeah. If you guys don't know who Dr. Arthur Brooks is, he's a Harvard professor, He's a New York Times bestselling author. That's an episode coming out.
Abby
He's a happiness expert.
Matt
Yeah. And he's written books with Oprah. He's been on some huge podcasts. He has a podcast of his own. This was one of the best conversations we've had on the podcast. And we both learned so much.
Abby
He's just so full of knowledge and the way that he combines like actual science backed research with seemingly abstract concepts like happiness and the meaning of life. Like all the end love. Oh my gosh, he's just, he's incredible. Well, that's why I learned so much. And we keep referring to it in our everyday. We're like, yeah, Arthur Brooks says this and it's like, what an honor it was to get to meet him. Thank you to Nutrafol for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.
Matt
You've probably seen a million ads for hair growth products and thought, does that actually work? And the thing is, Nutrafool does.
Abby
And we have proof for you and it really does.
Addie
Yeah.
Abby
I've always told this story, but when I was getting my haircut at the hairdresser the last time, they were like, abby, we haven't seen you in six months, but your hair has grown as much as we would expect. If it has been like over a year, what are you doing? And I was like, well, I take Nutrafol. And they were saying, oh, that stuff truly works. Our clients that take Nutrafol have significantly thicker, stronger, faster growing hair. And that is because Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over 1.5 million people.
Matt
And you can feel great about what you're putting into your body. Since Nutrafol hair growth supplements are backed by peer review studies and NSF Content Certified, the gold standard in third party certification for supplements.
Abby
And adding Nutrafol into your daily routine is super simple. You Just purchase it online. There's no prescription required and you can set up automated deliveries and free shipping to keep you on track.
Matt
See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutrafol for a limited time, Nutriful is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. When you go to nutrafool.com and enter promo code unplanned pot, find out why Nutrafol is the best selling hair growth supplement brand@nutrafool.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code unplanned pod that's nutriful.com promo code unplanned Pod we have some exciting news. There's something happening behind this wall that.
Abby
In the room right next to this one, there is a million packages probably.
Matt
Yeah. This room behind me just got painted. It's currently yellow and red and so, like, colorful. Can I say that? It's like, it's kind of a fun vibe.
Abby
It is a fun vibe.
Matt
I like it.
Abby
It's really exciting.
Matt
What can you say about this new project you're working on, Abby?
Abby
I mean, I don't like secrets, but there's other people involved in this project, so I just want to make sure that we all, like, touch base on, like, how we want to go about this. But I can say that there's a lot of camera and audio equipment. There's funky paint, funky furniture. I'm also, like, a little nervous because this is the first time I've ever done a big project, essentially. Like, obviously you're helping a lot, but like kind of. And it's not independent, but like a little bit more on my own. I'm spreading my own wings and I'm excited for you.
Matt
Wait, okay, tell me about this, babe. This is launching, beginning of January, this new project you're working on, the very, very, very beginning. So is that gonna be Friday? The second that people will get to see what's going on?
Abby
Yeah, they'll know before then.
Matt
So, yeah, I guess just like be, be, be paying attention to our podcast. Be paying attention to, you know, your Instagram, have, have notifications on for our show because as soon as we get the go ahead from the other person that's in on this project with Abby, we'll share with you guys exactly what's happening. But yeah, yeah, we got to get.
Abby
All of our ducks in a row because this has been a very thought out. So many meetings, so many. Like, this has been very planned, honestly, and like, very intentional. We have A mission statement. Like, I'm so excited about everything that's happening with this.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
And I also just want to go about it very intentionally because that is how we've been going about it. And I'm. I feel like we have such a vision for it that I want to make sure that everything is cohesive at this point.
Matt
I think 2026 is going to be a really good year for us. A really good year for you. I'm, like, just manifesting good things, good vibes. We actually have two big launches in the beginning of 2026.
Abby
Yeah. I guess I'm becoming a career girl.
Matt
I know. Yeah. How do you. How do you feel about that?
Abby
Because, like, I'm uncomfortable with it.
Matt
I think your whole life you thought you would be a stay at home mom.
Addie
Yeah.
Matt
And you, you're like a part time stay at home mom.
Abby
Yeah.
Matt
And I'm like a part time stay at home dad, which I never thought I would do.
Abby
I know.
Matt
But I love it.
Abby
So good.
Matt
I love it. And so, like, do you like having the balance of, like, you're working part time, but then you're at home part time? Like, is that. Is that a good balance?
Abby
I'm really happy with it. Yeah.
Matt
Yeah. It's so good too, because, like, I feel like we're equal players on the business side of things, for our players.
Abby
And the parenting side of things.
Matt
And it's so good because, like, our children are the most important thing other than you, because, like, you're number one in my book. But it's like, other than you, our kids are like, you cannot put any price, any value, anything on that. Like, that is our job as parents, is our most important thing that we do on this earth.
Abby
I know. And I'm really grateful for we. This is far greater than anything I could have ever imagined or dreamed of for our life. So I'm just. I'm so grateful. I've been surprised at this direction that I've moved. Like, having, like, more putting more work in on the career side of things, and who knows what that'll look like even a year from now. But for this season of life, just with all the unplanned things happening, it's been a really good outlet for me. Yeah, like, it's been a really good outlet.
Matt
I'm proud of you. I think you're cut. You're crushing it. And it's fun to see you, like, be a career girly while also still prioritizing your family and your kids.
Abby
Yeah.
Matt
Couldn't be more proud of You.
Abby
Thanks. Yeah, we'll see how long this lasts.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
I could dip out at any moment. You never know.
Matt
Abby, do you want to tell people what I currently am holding in my hand?
Abby
Is that the freaking HOA violation?
Matt
It is the HOA violation.
Abby
Yeah. I mean, I'm not surprised.
Matt
What are your thoughts on hoas? Are you. Are you a fan of hoas?
Abby
I'm a fan.
Matt
Are you sick of them? Because I'm kind of getting sick of hoas, if I'm being honest.
Abby
But I'm a fan.
Matt
You can be a fan. Why are you a fan?
Abby
Because it protects the neighborhood, helps everyone keep their home values.
Matt
Yes.
Abby
And I feel like it keeps everyone. Like, it's nice to have a standard, so then you don't have to just be like, why did our neighbor freaking do that? But you can't really do anything about it.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
Sometimes it does feel like it encroaches on our rights as homeowners.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
Like our freaking playset for our kids, Joy.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
This was our own fault, though.
Matt
Yeah, this was. This is on me, guys. I didn't really think through the fact that putting up a playset in our backyard for our children would need to be run by our homeowners association, but.
Abby
Apparently, it's your backyard.
Matt
Yeah. It's our own backyard, and we own it.
Abby
It's a really nice playset.
Matt
It's a very. It's. Honestly, it is nicer than a nice place.
Abby
That's the problem. It's too n nice. It's too tall.
Matt
We kind of really sent it with this.
Abby
Really sent it.
Matt
And, you know, actually, I. I felt so, like, validated in buying this playset for our kids when I talked to my parents about how much our playset was when I was a kid, because I. I was talking to my parents. They're expensive, and they. They were able to get a discount on. On the place. It. But they said the one that we had as kids was. Was $5,000. And my parents thought. My parents are frugal.
Abby
15 years ago.
Matt
My mom has always shopped at Aldi. She shops the clearance section at Marshalls. Like, this is a frugal queen. Okay. But they sent it on a playset because they knew how important, like, child play is for kids.
Abby
Yeah.
Matt
So anyway, like, when I.
Abby
Playing outside, using your imagination, and we're.
Matt
Talking about 25 years ago when they bought this thing.
Abby
Oh, it's 25 years ago.
Matt
Yeah, roughly. But anyway, so, like, do the math. Do some inflation. Like, five grand today, 25 years later, like, what is that like 15 maybe? I don't know. I don't. I haven't run the numbers. But anyway, so the place that we got was on the pricer side. We did get a discount in exchange for us, like, telling people about it. So if you guys haven't seen the. Our Instagram or TikToks, it's called a roughhouse playset. And we are.
Abby
Uff.
Matt
Yeah. And I also love them too, because they're not like this massive corporation. They're just a very. They're a local Arizona business.
Abby
Our neighbor in Hawaii is friends with the person who started it.
Matt
Oh, that's so cool.
Abby
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt
So it's like. It's a local business, so it's definitely not the cheapest option for playsets, but, like, they're very nice, very well made, and our kids are upset.
Abby
You can tell it's going to. It's built to last.
Matt
But we. But we did get an HOA violation, which you can see it, I guess, from the street, so. Or something like. Yeah, you can.
Abby
You can see it if you're really looking, I guess.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
And so you're really peering over our foliage.
Matt
So here's the violation we got. It says, dear, dear Matt Howard, notice a violation, it says. And then it, like, cites our. Our section of recreation.
Abby
Read the whole handbook.
Matt
I did not read the whole HOA handbook, but it says no jungle gyms, swing sets, or similar playground equipment which would be visible from neighboring properties shall be erected or installed on any lot or parcel without the prior written approval of the design review board.
Abby
So I'm thinking that we're fine as long as you get this approved.
Matt
Yeah. So I think. I think the main thing is I didn't get appro. Approval beforehand, which, like, comment down below. If you live in a. In a neighborhood with an hoa, did you think to get your playset for your kids, like, approved by your HOA first? I just never even thought about that.
Abby
Yeah, we should have thought of that.
Matt
But I also think about that's also.
Abby
Not our first violation.
Matt
Yeah, that was for the pergola. But the pergola was. We did built it exactly to code, and I. It's. That's approved.
Abby
Okay, perfect.
Matt
I ran it through. I ran it through them.
Abby
Is your skate ramp approved?
Matt
The skate ramp isn't above the line of the fence, so we're good. Oh, yeah. By the way, guys, I also built a half pipe in our backyard just casually.
Abby
And when he says a half pipe, it is.
Matt
It is every bit of very legit yeah. I've dreamed of having a half pipe in our backyard since I was like a little kid, probably 10 years old. Used to want to be a pro skater. And so now I'm skating out there literally every day. It's been so much fun. The only days I haven't skated were days that it's rained, which randomly, yesterday and the day before, it rained more than that.
Abby
It's been raining for like a week almost.
Matt
Yeah. Which is rare for the desert. It never rains here, but the boys are actually obsessed as well. They come out and they watch me skate and they cheer me on. It's cute.
Abby
They hear you skate. They're like, I'm gonna go out and skate.
Matt
Yeah. And then whenever I fall or I need to take a break, they treat the half pipe like a slide, and they just slide down it. So it's. That's kind of cute.
Abby
That's cute.
Matt
I think Abby mentioned this a couple weeks ago. We're thinking about doing skateboarding lessons for our kids and all of our friends kids, because we hosted swimming lessons after our pool was built. And that was just fun having people at our house. Yeah, we had weeks of swim lessons. Just, you know, it was like the whole neighborhood was over at our house getting swim lessons. And with the. With the skate ramp now I'm like, dude, we could. We could really teach our kids to shred. You know, if. Especially if we hire someone that just.
Abby
Hire an instructor to come at the house. And all the kids can be little.
Matt
Yeah, they.
Abby
Little Tony Hawks.
Matt
They could do like 10 to 15 minute private lessons per kid. Or we could just do a group lesson.
Abby
Be so cute if they got all their, like, elbow pads, knee pads, this gate ramp.
Matt
Guys, I thought it was going to take us a day to build it because it said eight to ten hours to build this thing. Or no, six to ten hours.
Abby
That's crazy.
Matt
I got my buddy Joe, who flips houses to help me and paid him for his time because I was like, I cannot do this by myself. So I need a friend. I need help. And it took us. Joe tracked his hours. It took us 37 hours to build this thing. So it was over the course of five days.
Abby
My gosh.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
Yeah. I mean, it makes sense. The guy unloading it from his truck, it's literally just lumber. Was like, the last person delivered this to is a professional. Yeah, it's like a huge half pipe.
Matt
Yeah, it's a half pipe that like a pro skater would have in their backyard.
Abby
It's pretty cool. You look like A California guy?
Matt
Really? I do. That's my dream, is to, like, indoctrinate our kids into at least one of the sports that I like so that we can share that common interest. But no matter what they like, I'm going to. I'm going to participate. Whether it's, like, fishing or tennis or football, whatever it is. I think that's gonna be. I'm hoping that we can hopefully grow up skating together, which I think will be a blast. Wow. We just got, like. We're talking about the HOA violation we got on there. What are your thoughts on our backyard? Our backyard is now essentially complete. I think we have a few more finishing touches, but it's, like, 99 of the way there. What are you thinking about the backyard, babe?
Abby
Oh, my gosh. I feel like we can't fit anything else back there. Yeah, it's not that. I mean, it's a decent size, but it's not that big. But we have made so much use of the space, which is so fun, because I want our kids and I want us to be outside as much as possible. We live in, like, an amazing state for enjoying the sunshine and, like, the fresh air. And so I want to, like, you be out there as much as possible. And it's perfect. There's, like, so much to do. We have people over all the time. It's great. Matt got some citrus. Matt just randomly got this vision of kids, of our kids coming inside with, like, their own fresh citrus from our backyard. So he just installed some new citrus trees back there.
Matt
Orange. We have an orange tree, a lemon tree, and a lime tree.
Abby
And correct me if I'm wrong, Citru season is in the winter, I think it is.
Matt
And the trees that we grow, anything here, they're pretty good sizes.
Abby
Fruit already on them, thank goodness, or else we would be screwed.
Matt
But I'm. I have to remind the boys not to pick the fruit off because it's, like, green, it's not ripe yet, and they keep ripping the fruit off.
Abby
They're, like, sweet.
Matt
They just think it's cool. They like that we have a fruit tree in our backyard.
Abby
So that's fun and nice and just feels so, like, idyllic for childhood. Thank you to Tovala for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I think we've all been there where we've just opened up our fridge and just stood there staring and hoping that everything in our fridge would just magically turn itself into a delicious meal that is hot and ready for you. Well, Tovala might Just be the answer to these prayers. Because Tovala is a smart meal delivery service, Fresh meals and a smart oven that does the cooking for you. Toval is actually kind of like a magic little smart oven because it makes it so easy. You just scan the meal's QR code, pop it in the oven and it cooks everything perfectly. Steams, bakes, broils automatically. No guesswork needed.
Matt
And the nice thing is if you are not the best in the kitchen, you can fake it by using this device because it just makes it as easy as possible and it's still really healthy. Like we're not talking about these like pre made meals that just heat up. I mean these are gourmet health foods like salmon and chicken and rice and veggies all ready for you and your family to eat.
Abby
Yes, their meals are chef crafted and taste just like homemade meals you make yourself just without all the headache. Plus all of Tavala's meals are made with real fresh ingredients. They have mouth watering meals like filet mignon with filet mignon.
Matt
That's how you say it actually.
Abby
With creamy peppercorn sauce with buttery roasted vegetables or herb roasted chicken with creamy pumpkin risotto. With Tovala, you can finally remove dinner from your to do list.
Matt
And for a limited time, because you are an unplanned listener during Tovala's Black Friday sale, you can get a free Tavala smart oven when you order meals six plus times by heading to tavala.comunplanned and use our code unplanned, that's a free Tavala smart oven. When you head to tavala.com unplanned and use promo code unplanned one last time, that's tovala.com and make sure you use our promo code unplanned for a free Tavala Smart oven. Remember, with Tavala, dinner is taken care of.
Abby
I'm gonna miss you this weekend.
Matt
I know. I'm. I'm actually going to F1 with my brother this weekend.
Abby
There's so glad you guys are doing that.
Matt
There's a race in Las Vegas. The Vegas Grand Prix. My brother's obsessed and so this will be a great memory for us to experience. I need to make it up to Josh though because my little brother is like he, he needs some sort of gift when I need to take Josh somewhere.
Abby
Maybe every five years you guys do a trip.
Matt
I know, I know. But yeah, I'm stoked to go.
Abby
To miss you.
Matt
I know. I'm gonna Miss you too. I don't want to be away from you.
Abby
It's okay. Me and Abby are just gonna hang out with all the kids. We're gonna take the kids to see Santa tomorrow.
Matt
Are they gonna come hang out at our house?
Abby
Yeah.
Matt
Are they gonna bring over Lewis?
Abby
I think they're bringing Lewis.
Matt
What are your thoughts on having Louis?
Abby
I think Abby's gonna vlog it, so there might be a video of that, too, of us, like, with all the kids.
Matt
Wait, that's so funny.
Abby
My thoughts with Lewis being at the house. I mean, I hope she brings the crate.
Matt
Oh, yeah.
Abby
Because I just don't know that, like, I feel like him in another house. He's gonna be so curious. He might get stuff, but. But I'm totally fine with it.
Matt
Yeah, we. My. My brother has had Lewis for. Gosh, is it like, six years now? Five years.
Abby
Yeah.
Matt
And he's. He's.
Abby
He's like six.
Matt
He is such. He's such a big dog.
Abby
Yeah, no, it'll be good. We can see if we actually like having a dog at our house. Even though I feel like we're probably not gonna get a dog.
Matt
Yeah, that. That's, like, the. The dog subject makes me.
Abby
Everyone told us not to.
Matt
Well, okay, what is. Why does getting a dog bring out so many conflicting opinions? Because, like, I'm not even kidding, you guys. My parents have drilled it in my head since I was, like, a little kid. That is a. That it's a very bad idea to get.
Abby
See, I was talking to someone yesterday, and I was like, yeah, Matt never grew up with a dog, so it's like, he's really hard to convince of this.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
And they were like, that just doesn't compute in my mind. Like, growing up without a dog, like, childhood. And dogs are just like.
Matt
I know. And that's your childhood. You grew up with a dog.
Abby
We invited the opinions, but I'm. Now I'm sick of the opinion.
Matt
I know. This is where he messed up, guys, because we. We should have just made a decision between us. Never told any of you about it. Never told any of our family.
Abby
I know them. Giving their opinions is fine.
Matt
Okay. It's okay. You guys can give your opinion on the dog.
Abby
It's the internal opinions from friends and family that you invited. I'm not mad at them for giving their opinions. You're like, should we get a dog?
Matt
I thought we both did that.
Abby
No, I didn't invite it.
Matt
That was only me.
Abby
Well, I think at the early stages, I did invite it.
Matt
Okay.
Abby
And then When I was like, okay, this is a lot of feedback, I cut it off. But then you kept inviting it. Ah, you have diarrhea of the mouth.
Matt
I do.
Abby
So then everyone told us not to, and so I guess we're not. Not going to anymore, which is a bummer, but also probably wise. They probably had good reason for giving us that feedback.
Matt
There's not a single person that has told me, let's do it.
Abby
That's not true.
Matt
Who?
Abby
Wait, Addie and Blake are literally like, get a dog.
Matt
You're right. They're the only. They're the only people that have said that, but they also are huge dog people. They. They love their dogs. They're obsessed with their dogs. It is a big decision, though. Like, it's. It's crazy how, like, you're. You're committing to, like, 10, maybe 15 years.
Abby
But I learned so much as a kid having a dog. And I also just think it is, like, it's so comforting to have, like, a little sweet furball just like, that's always excited for you to be home. Yeah. So, I mean, we probably still will get one eventually, but I think it's off the table for now, which is probably for the best.
Matt
I'm manifesting this right now. I don't know if this is legit, but, like, picture this with me. Christmas 2026, newborn dog. What. What are your thoughts on that? Like, having a. Having like a puppy, essentially, Because I think they're in that puppy stage the first, like, year or two.
Abby
What do you mean?
Matt
Like, how do you. How do you feel about having like. Yeah, like a new. You know, we'd have. What? We have a three. We'd have a three and a four year old. A newborn and then a puppy. How does that feel? Is that good? Does that feel stressful?
Abby
You can't get a puppy when you have a newborn.
Matt
Oh, yeah.
Abby
That sounds like a bad idea.
Matt
Not at the same time.
Abby
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We would either get one before we have another baby or we get one after we're done having all of our babies.
Matt
Or maybe think about this. What? Like, talk about. How would it be having a puppy during pregnancy. How would that feel?
Abby
I don't know. That's what's scary. I've never done it.
Matt
I know.
Abby
I've never been pregnant and had a puppy.
Matt
I feel like with most things in life, you kind of just do whatever you have to do. Like, it's. It's like, because sometimes you ask people, like, man, how did you get through that? And it's like, kind of just had to. Like, it's not like I had a choice to not.
Abby
Well, that's how I feel about having kids back to back. And like, they're like, how did you nurse your entire pregnancy? I'm like, well, I had to. Yeah, well, I guess I didn't have to, but I felt like I had to. I feel like a lot of moms relate to that feeling with breastfeeding. It's like, you certainly don't have to do it.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
But you on your own conscience for some reason literally think it's biological, hormonal. Something just makes you feel like you have to. And I don't remember it being expressly difficult because I was like, well, I just, in my mind I had to. So I just did it. And you make peace with it and you make it work. Who knows what 2026 will bring? Who knows what the year, my 27th year on Earth will bring. We're just hoping for good things, but I know that I'm prepared better than I've ever been for to face hard things.
Matt
This is one of the top comments from our Q and A episode from a few weeks ago. And this person is giving their advice on a dog. They said. As someone who has lived with dogs my whole life, I've had five to six dogs so far. Currently living with two dogs and now also a mom to a six month old. I really believe this. Get a dog for you, not for the kids. A dog needs your presence, your guidance, your time. Get a dog because you want to spend time outdoors, learn together, move, play, explore, build a bond. I've seen many family dogs become sad and disconnected because no one is truly involved with them. My dogs are the reason I stay grounded. They're my companions, not a gift to the household. Dogs need their humans. They need connection, routine, and quality time every day. I think my big holdup right now is like the idea of travel because like, if, if it was completely up to me, right, I feel like we'd be traveling four months out of the year and spend like a month in Europe, spend a month in Hawaii. Like, I feel like if, if it was just all what Matt Howard wants, that's what I would choose and I wouldn't feel right as an owner that way.
Abby
Yeah, that's fair.
Matt
Unless we had like a friend or family member that's like very invested in our dog and has a relationship with our dog that would want to watch a dog when we do longer travels. So that's. And I know we have friends that have dogs and they have a. Of a setup like that where their dog will go to like their parents house or their sibling's house and the dog knows that person and they have.
Abby
A relationship and they're not sad there. I would never want a dog to be in a situation where they feel sad.
Matt
Yeah. Or. Or they have a house sitter that like, has a good relationship with the dog, that's a friend or family member. So I think that could be a really good way to go about it if we want to travel is just like having that set up. But yeah, that's. I love that though, because, like, we are home a lot.
Abby
I would not get at my. Our kids are 2 and 3. I would not get the dog for them.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
Because they, first of all, don't even know what that commitment looks like. They don't, like, they have no frame of reference to like, consent to that. You know what I mean? Like, I do think that they could benefit a lot from having a dog, but ultimately the dog would be for us, for us, our family.
Matt
And I think there are ways. There are ways to make it easier. Like we can get the dog professionally trained so that the dog is like.
Abby
Are you talking yourself back into having.
Matt
I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm trying to.
Abby
It's not happening, guys. It's not.
Matt
No, don't say that. Don't say that. It could very well happen. Maybe record this whole episode and then you. By the time you guys are watching this, we have a dog. Who knows?
Abby
Here's the thing. This is what you should take from this. We would never make this decision lightly. We've been discussing this at length for months now.
Matt
Here's the problem.
Abby
And we still can't arrive at a conclusion. So I think that means that we just need to pump the brakes until we have, like, sorted out every what if scenario and, like, made sure that we would be welcoming this dog into a happy, loving, well supported home. Thank you to Olipop for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. You guys, listen to this. Oh, baby. That right there is the sound of pineapple deliciousness. Olipop just came out with a new spongebob flavor and we are loving it. It is pineapple paradise, and it's the first of its kind, actually. It's a limited edition flavor inspired by SpongeBob's iconic Pineapple Home. Let me give you guys the flavor profile. Second, it's juicy pineapple sweetness with a splash of mandarin. It's basically pure liquid joy. Just like spongebob himself. This new limited time flavor comes in five collectible spongebob can designs hidden inside four packs. This one right here, we got spongebob. Honestly, just having a grand old time. His arms are up like he's on a roller coaster. Our kids also think these are really fun. But what we love about Olipop is that almost every American has some sort of relationship with soda from their childhood. Some people grew up drinking it all the time and then quit. Some people are still addicted and trying to quit.
Matt
Olipop offers a delicious alternative to traditional soda, using a functional ingredient blend to support digestive health. And the thing I love about Olipop is there's so little added sugar compared to other soda brands. For instance, this can in particular only has 3 grams of added sugar. And some lollipop cans have as little as 2 grams of added sugar.
Abby
Here's the thing, you guys, you gotta trust us when we say Olipop is actually delicious. Sometimes when people are like, I don't really like sparkling water. My. It's not like sparkling water. It's basically like a delicious soda. And we are major fans in this household. The whole top shelf of our fridge is literally just designated for Olipops. And it's our favorite thing. When people come over, we're like, let me hook you up with an olipop. So get $2 off a four pack of olipop@drinkollipop.com unplanned. This works on any flavor of four pack, including spongebob at any retailer. Olipop is sold online and available in almost 50,000 retailers nationwide, including Costco, Walmart, Target, Publix, Whole Foods, KRoger, and H E B.
Matt
Let me say this though. I make decisions, especially big decisions, over a very long time. Like, I have to really think through it and verbally process things out loud and think through every single scenario.
Abby
I think that's wise.
Matt
I do that. Like, if I'm. Especially if I'm making like, say, a big purchase, I don't do it right away. Like, it takes me, me sometimes months, sometimes years to think through a big purchase.
Abby
I think that's where people can misunderstand you.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
Like, you seem so spontaneous.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
And like, in ways you are.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
But when it comes to decision making, you're not at all.
Matt
Yeah. Well, because, like, with the half pipe, right? Like, everyone was like, how. Why is there, like, all this wood that's getting delivered for this half pipe for Matt to build? Because I, I just like, bought it about a month About a month ago.
Abby
That's what seems spontaneous. It's. Cause, like, once you've made your decision, it feels like. It feels fast.
Matt
Yeah. Yes.
Abby
But it's like you've actually been contemplating internally about it for years.
Matt
I actually. I wanted it as a kid. Could not afford to buy it as a kid. And it wasn't until we owned a house, I was like, oh, we could do this. But I didn't buy it right away because it was still like, oh, that's a lot of money. Do I actually want to make this purchase? Almost bought it a year ago, but then we moved, so I was like, I'm going to hold off until that. And then our backyard was getting finished. So.
Abby
Yeah, we're just. Honestly, we probably shouldn't invite this many opinions in real time. Us talking about this on the podcast is probably a bad idea.
Matt
I know.
Abby
Know.
Matt
Yeah. Well, it's. It depends. Like, I think a dog is a little bit more. Yeah. I don't know. Even with a dog, though, I think. I think it's probably wiser just to not share that.
Abby
I think you should ask people's advice. But honestly, I think at the scale in which we're receiving advice, it's maybe too much.
Matt
That's true. No, that's valid.
Abby
I would say that that's really good.
Matt
Yeah, that's. I think that's really good.
Abby
I think that it's really hard to have clarity with that many voices.
Matt
And I think.
Abby
And so now we're just. Just. We have cold feet and we're. We're frozen.
Matt
Well, I think another reason, like, I think about my parents. Right. Why did my parents always drill into me that getting a dog was a bad decision? And I think back to, you know, there. There were times that finances were tight growing up. And if finances are tight and you're spending money on, like, your dog's medical expenses and their food, and then you want to travel, but then you have to pay for the doggy hotel. Like, it can be a lot. It can be a financial burden on a family. So I think that's a big part of it. I also think, just like, my mom has allergies to dogs, so that was another reason, too. I want to say, though, my allergies to dogs have. Has, like, gone down, I think.
Abby
I think yours is more so towards cats.
Matt
My is really bad with cats.
Abby
So then I'm like, maybe that was because we did talk about a cat also at one point. But yeah. Yeah, who knows?
Matt
We're just.
Abby
We're basically. We're just paralyzed at this point because we've gotten so much feedback. We're just paralyzed. And so. So who knows what will come of it?
Matt
What's that called?
Abby
We're not trying to dangle it because, trust me, we are just conflicting.
Matt
Is it called decision paralysis?
Abby
Decision paralysis. Yeah.
Matt
Yeah. This whole dog conversation has become a big topic in our family, amongst our friends. Even in the comment section of our latest solo episode, we have another top comment. We have a Golden. And she's incredible. All caps, amazing with kids, and so chill. Stella just turned 16. Holy crap. She's definitely on the downhill climb, but just so precious and loyal to our family. We've had her longer than we've had kiddos. Wow.
Abby
Oh, that's actually gonna make me cry. Cuz when my grandpa's dog, Riley, who was a golden when he was on the decline.
Matt
Mm.
Abby
The saddest part was when he couldn't jump in my direct my grandpa's truck anymore because they loved going on truck rides and he couldn't. He just put his paws up there and he just, like, looked at my grandpa like, help me. It was sad. But, I mean, here's the thing. The joy that that dog gave me and the love that he had, like, it was so immense, so. Oh, we just have too many opinions, guys. I feel like if we had, like, literally just internally decided, yeah, we probably would have made a decision, but because there's just such a scale of opinions, and we don't want to do anything carelessly ever. And, like, I especially, I feel like here's my fear. A lot of people impulsively get a dog, and then they're not prepared to actually, like, support that dog in their house. I. I absolutely never, ever, ever want to do that.
Matt
Well, let me say I don't take.
Abby
It lightly because, I mean, we've had dogs before. We know what. I know what this commitment looks like.
Matt
You know what it's like.
Abby
I never, ever, ever want to take it lightly. So it's like, that's why we've just been thinking about it and mulling over.
Matt
It for so long. And it's not as big of a commitment as having a child. Like, we've already had two children. We're planning on having more children. A comment. This is actually another top comment. This has 107 likes. It says, as someone who didn't grow up with the dog but desperately wanted one, I would just wait till you feel like your oldest can take ownership of feeding the dog or letting the dog out of the backyard that way. You're sharing responsibility and teaching responsibility. So that's. I really like that comment. But I think what people don't realize is, like, three year olds are. Are so independent already. Like, our son is already able to go to the bathroom on his own. He's. He's getting dressed.
Abby
I told him the other day, I said, go take a nap. And he just said, he went in his room. Augie was already sleeping in there. There. Quietly. I watched on the monitor. He quietly shut the door, climbed up to his bed, pulled up his covers, and took a nap. I was like, wait a minute. When did you become an adult?
Matt
I just got this vision of Griffin growing up with the dog and like, like going off to college and. And stop. I don't know. Because if. If we got a dog now and the dog loves to be 16, Griffin would be 19.
Abby
I know.
Matt
So I just see this, like, sweet relationship, the sweet bond. Because think about Griffin like, he's old enough to put food in the dog's bowl. He's old enough to let the dog out to go potty. I just see. I see him building so much confidence.
Abby
We have a finished backyard now that's safe for dogs and kids.
Matt
Yes. I don't want the dog pooping and peeing on the turf, but I think I could just put. Bring in some gravel.
Abby
Are we talking ourselves into it now?
Matt
I think I am. I really. I kind of want to go get it after the podcast. I'm not even kidding.
Abby
You're freaking me out. I'm too scared.
Matt
I'm down. Are you okay to take care of it while I'm at F1?
Abby
I have to because I'm nervous.
Matt
I'm okay to go get it.
Abby
No, I'm just so nervous. Did we just talk ourselves?
Matt
We don't tell anybody. We just leave and go get it in our car right after the podcast.
Abby
I'm throw up.
Matt
Why can't we just go?
Abby
I'm too scared.
Matt
We've talked about this forever. This has been. It's this classic Matt Howard move. We've talked about this for years. We almost got one years ago. We didn't. In Hawaii, we were out to get one. We almost got a golden retriever with our first kid. But we were also in the process of buying a house. The newborn stage was hard. Like, I think. I think now could work this another one. Agree. This ended up being what my parents did unintentionally and took a lot of care along with them. It's less of a burden on a young family. Dogs are amazing. But I learned it took away my time with the kids, which can affect how I. How well trained the dog is. What I didn't learn was to wait like my parents did. Oops. I think that what that person is saying is they, they didn't think about how the dog could take away time from their kids. But I think it depends on your kids ages. Right. Because with Griffin right now, like if I'm cleaning the backyard, he wants to hose off the, the, you know, the travertine with me. Right. So I'm like actively teaching him how to do chores and responsibilities. Because he's so interested in like doing things with me, whether it's cleaning or sweeping. He's even. I gave him an attachment on our Dyson vacuum so he can vacuum the car with me. He. He likes to vacuum. Like he's, he's learning all these things and he's excited.
Abby
He can shred cheese.
Matt
He's good at it too.
Abby
He's really good at it.
Matt
He's more than capable of letting the dog out to go potty and more than capable.
Abby
But we can't put that burden on him.
Matt
We can't. But I think like if he wants.
Abby
To participate, he can. I think if, if anything, I've determined from this. It's like we can't make decisions for our kids. No, but that are like, they're like, okay, well that's not. If that aren't necessary.
Matt
Yes. But I, I think like there you, you say that. But then it's like you need to teach your kid how to go to the bathroom. You need to teach your kid how to put on their clothes. Like.
Abby
No. I totally think there's a lot of responsibilities they can make. But we can't get this dog being like, you're gonna love this so close bond and feel so happy that we have this.
Matt
No, no. It's gonna be like, here's how I approach it. It's like the dog is my responsibility, but Griffin's like my apprentice in a way. And I'm gonna like every time I go to feed the dog, give the dog water, take the dog on the walk. I'm gonna bring Griffin with me so he can learn the process of what it is.
Abby
And I've learned that doing that, they end up wanting to help.
Matt
Exactly. I just see it bringing so much joy and happiness into our family.
Abby
It's gonna be too stressful though. We gotta wait.
Matt
No, I'm down to do it right now. The problem. The problem is. Here's what happened, guys. There was a golden retriever that Abby really wanted. And then someone bought the golden retriever.
Abby
Yeah.
Matt
And now there's a new golden retriever available that Abby really wants.
Abby
No, don't put this on me. Don't put this on me. I'm out. I'm out on this decision. I'm too.
Matt
I'm down. I don't.
Abby
I don't trust myself.
Matt
I wanna make this decision together. I love you. I love you.
Abby
Okay.
Matt
You're amazing.
Abby
Podcast is taking a turn. This episode is brought to you by Square. Your favorite neighborhood spots run on Square.
Matt
Something I love is when we go out to eat and they have us pay using square. You can literally just pay with your phone because they have a square reader. I love how convenient that is. We should talk about the kid that had square payment processing for his, like, lemonade stand. No, it was a hot cocoa. Hot cocoa stand.
Abby
And I think that's actually one of the things I love about Square Mos is that it's great for local neighborhoods, small businesses, kid businesses, even. Like, we're talking about, it's Christmas time, these really cute little kids had a hot cocoa stand. We're like, oh, well, so sorry. Like, we don't have any cash on us. They're like, oh, no. We take card and they pull out their little square device and they have two extra sales that day, for sure. These businesses, like these little kid lemonade stands, hot cocoa stands, are what make the neighborhood the neighborhood. And when we show up as a community, it can mean big business for local business owners. So we have our permission to take this ad as an excuse to go support your favorite local spot and have yourself a day in the neighborhood.
Matt
Square is a proud partner of more than 4 million neighborhood businesses around the world. You can go to square.com go unplanned to learn more, more. But before you do, go support your favorite neighborhood spot. You'll be happy you did Square. See you in the neighborhood. Can we go buy a dog right now?
Abby
Stop bringing this up. I'm scared.
Matt
Can we just call and ask if the. If the golden retriever is available?
Abby
I can tell if it's available.
Matt
Why am I nervous right now?
Abby
I know. Don't do it if you're nervous.
Matt
But I. But I'm. I'm. It's. I've talked about this so much.
Abby
Let's just do it. No, I'm scared. I'm gonna puke.
Matt
I'm gonna go right now.
Abby
I'm out. I'm personally out.
Matt
You look so hot.
Abby
No, stop.
Matt
Don't do that. Because I'm leverage. Leverage your beauty and let's go get a dog right now. Come on.
Abby
So out. Why is this? See, we literally, like, we're going to have boundaries and we're not going to talk about these things online. What the heck?
Matt
We've broken every rule.
Abby
Okay, let's talk about something else. Let's talk about turkey trot. I already running.
Matt
I want to go get a dog right now.
Abby
Oh, my God.
Matt
Is that okay?
Abby
Not a dog. The dog.
Matt
I want to get him in the dog. I want to get the dog that you want to get. This dog is so cute. And I loved holding it and petting it. It was so just so chill. Is that a good thing? Do we want a dog that's like really chill? Does that mean she's going to be very well behaved? Pretzel's going to be well behaved. Let's go get her.
Abby
Someone told me the test to do with puppies. Obviously they're going to get bursts of energy.
Matt
Yeah. What is this?
Abby
To see if you can cradle them and if they'll let you cradle them because other ones, like, flip out.
Matt
She let us hold her.
Abby
She let us cradle her.
Matt
Should we go hold her right now?
Abby
Don't do this.
Matt
Let's go. I'm ready right now.
Abby
We're filming a podcast.
Matt
I can take my.
Abby
I have a stomachache.
Matt
I have a call with the lawyer in 20 minutes, but I can take it while we're there. Let's go. Let's go. Come on. If we're doing it, we're doing it together.
Abby
Are you in, like, are you, like, prepared for this? Waking up in the night.
Matt
I'll wake up in the night. Here's what we'll do. I'll do the nighttime stuff with the dog, and you do the daytime stuff with the dog. Cool.
Abby
Sure. I can do nighttime too.
Matt
We'll just work as a team. We'll work as a team with this dog.
Abby
I'm scared. Why are you scared? Because I feel like it's a big commitment. I'm like, I don't want to just do this impulsively.
Matt
Your brother and our sister in law already said that they want to watch the dog for us because they love dogs.
Abby
Well, we're gonna be watching it all the time. It's just like if we. We have a couple. A couple things already planned.
Matt
Yeah. Like our Europe trip in February, so that's. That's when they could watch the dog.
Abby
Well, when we go to Silver Dollar City in December.
Matt
Yeah. Are they gonna be out of town?
Abby
No. They'll be in town.
Matt
Okay. They'll be here. So maybe that's what we do.
Abby
We need to talk with everybody.
Matt
Do you want to bring.
Abby
I want to make sure that the trips that we already have planned. Just a couple short trips that we have planned, that they're. There's a home that is. Yeah, that is.
Matt
Well, because the puppy stages is tough. They wake up in the night, they need to go potty. They need to be trained on all that. But I know we, like, we know a lot of dog owners. We know a lot of dog people.
Abby
We need to do some more research.
Matt
I feel like, I mean, here's, here's Honestly, something that eases my brain is our sister in law who is literally our assistant for like, yeah, our business. She's a huge dog person. So if we ever need, like, support as far as that, like, she's the emergency.
Abby
What do we do about this?
Matt
She knows what to do. She grew up with dogs. She has dogs.
Abby
Also, my friend that showed me this puppy knows a lot about dogs.
Matt
We have. We have the support, we have the community that we need for this.
Abby
She could also maybe potentially watch.
Matt
Here's where I feel guilty is like, because I'm not necessarily a dog person. I don't want to accept all the help and then feel the. Feel like I need to watch everyone else's dog because I don't necessarily want to do that. That. So then I'm like, more on the side of. Let's just like, pay for the puppy hotel when we travel.
Abby
No.
Matt
Oh, gosh. Wait. Why not?
Abby
Don't do that. Well, first of all, they can't even go into a hotel until they have all their shots.
Matt
Oh.
Abby
Which they can't get until they're three months old.
Matt
Oh, see, I don't even know all this stuff. I know nothing. But you, you clearly know this stuff and you're so excited about it. And I, I want you to. I just. I love seeing you happy and joyful and.
Abby
No, I don't. I don't trust myself.
Matt
Why don't you trust yourself?
Abby
Because I'm an emotional roller coaster. I don't trust myself to make a good decision.
Matt
I'm married. I'm an emotional roller coaster. And I love you. I love you just as you are.
Abby
This is where we got in trouble. We freaking named it.
Matt
That's why I just want to go now before we get. I get cold feet again. I don't. I don't want to like this podcast then. Okay. Should we bring Addie in here to See if she can list if she can watch the dog while we're in Silver Dollar City.
Abby
This is so off the rails.
Matt
Everyone, give it up for Addie Biswell.
Abby
Hello. What's happening?
Addie
I'm here.
Matt
Okay, do you want to just ask her if she. If that.
Abby
Or we're not pregnant? Oh, yeah, let's just say that right now.
Matt
Okay, you tell her about Suburbs City and ask the question that I.
Abby
No. What is happening? We're trying to debate if we should get a dog or not.
Addie
Of course you should get a dog.
Matt
Okay, here's your own person saying that.
Abby
Addy.
Matt
Here's the problem. Addy. So everyone has tell us not to do it except for you. But here's the thing. I want to do it now before I get cold feet again, because I'm just so excited and Abby's so excited.
Abby
And I think we don't want to do this naively.
Matt
Yeah.
Abby
We're gonna be waking up in the night with a puppy.
Matt
Yes.
Addie
Okay, here's my thing. I've only had a dog in an apartment. You have a house. You can just let your dog out in the backyard.
Matt
Doggy door, too.
Addie
And we did that with an apartment, so easier. I don't think you need a doggy door. That's a little. You have to redo your door. It's a lot of work.
Matt
Okay.
Addie
But the reason I said yes is because I love dogs. I really do. I really, really do. And I love my dogs. Everyone says you're gonna hate your dogs after kids stuff. I still love my dogs.
Abby
Okay, well, we're going to Silver Dollar City.
Matt
Watch your dogs. Yes.
Abby
That's what Matt's asking.
Matt
Yes.
Addie
Okay.
Matt
Because isn't that bad to put your dog like this in a. Oh, yeah. We can't do this. We can cut.
Addie
Well, no, no, I had. No, it's fine. I'm. I'm thinking logistically, because we have two dogs and a baby. Yeah.
Matt
That's a lot.
Addie
And I'd love to watch your dog, but I'm trying to think. You also can get a dog sitter.
Matt
True.
Addie
I have plenty of dog sitters.
Matt
That's true.
Addie
Friends I can recommend, and they know how to deal.
Abby
But is that sad for the puppy if we just get the puppy and then they have to watch a dog sitter? Okay.
Matt
The puppy's so little.
Abby
You think it's not rude to them?
Addie
No.
Matt
So we can get. We can pay for a dog for a little dog.
Addie
They don't know.
Abby
We're only gonna be gone literally three days.
Addie
Thursday Through Sunday, I think.
Abby
Yeah.
Addie
Is what it is.
Abby
It's literally three days.
Addie
I think it'd be totally fine to get a dog sitter, and I have people I could recommend to you for that. But if I didn't have a baby. Yes.
Abby
But also my kitty. Could a puppy even be around big dogs, though?
Addie
That's what I was most.
Matt
Yeah.
Addie
I was like, I don't want to. Want to bring my dogs over. I also don't necessarily want to bring your puppy into our house.
Abby
House.
Addie
To pee on our stuff because the.
Matt
Puppy could get hurt by your big dogs.
Abby
No, she just said pee on our stuff.
Addie
Pee on our stuff. They can pee on your stuff.
Matt
Yeah.
Addie
My dogs are potty trained, so how.
Matt
Long is it going to take us to potty train this puppy? Probably.
Addie
I mean, like, a week or two. If you're, like, dedicated to, like, taking it out every time and getting on to the puppy.
Abby
Thanksgiving is next week. Is that bet. Does this make this better or.
Addie
When are you getting the puppy?
Matt
Maybe today. We might go right now.
Abby
I'm scared.
Matt
They. We're pretty sure they still have the puppy. If they have the puppy. We're gonna go get it right now.
Abby
I think Max showed us a dog.
Matt
A little gold retriever. Are you crying right now? Oh, my God.
Abby
I don't know if we should do this.
Matt
I think we should. I think we should send it. Let's just send it. It's a cute little golden retriever.
Abby
Teach us everything. You don't have to teach us everything. We've done research. But, like, I need your. I need you to just, like, if we need to call you and be like, what do we do?
Addie
Yes.
Matt
Here's where I feel guilty, which I think if we just pay for a dog sitter, then I'll feel less guilty because I don't want to ask, like, other dog people to watch their dog.
Addie
Listen, we always get a dog sitter, and we always pay a dog sitter. We don't ever have our friends or family watch our dogs, and they stay at our house.
Matt
We'll just do that then, because I.
Abby
Don'T want to make the dog sad.
Addie
And you don't want the dog to go to a new place either. And so we keep our dogs at. We. I'm texting a dog sitter right now to come over and meet our dogs today.
Matt
Oh, no way.
Addie
You know, so. Okay.
Matt
Yeah, because that's the thing. Like, I don't want to. I. I want to be. When we. When we travel, I want the dog to feel safe. And loved. And I just want to be mindful of that. And then also with our friends and family, like, I don't want to because I'm not really a dog person, but I'm know I'm going to love this dog. So I don't want to be like, oh, come watch our dog, but we're not going to watch yours. So if we pay for a sitter.
Addie
Then yeah, I think a sitter is fine. Because even if you had family watch the dog, you'd probably still want to pay them. Like, it's like I've watched other family members, dogs and they've still paid me to do it, you know, doing that. But I think think the best thing for your dog is keeping it at your house.
Abby
Yeah.
Addie
And so then you have someone come stay at your house, watch the dog, spend time with them, do that.
Abby
Probably be smart anyway. Cuz we get a lot of packages. I feel like.
Addie
Yeah. And just as a house sitter while you're gone too.
Matt
How do we keep this dog from pooping and peeing on our turf? Should I just like put in some gravel and convince it? Or maybe we make a turf section.
Addie
Yeah, they're gonna poop on the turf.
Abby
I think they need to.
Matt
But you can clean it though.
Addie
You can have people come and clean your turf.
Matt
Okay. We'll just have to.
Addie
So I think doing that and I think it's a good skill to like teach the boys how to clean up the poop. And you know, like then that's a chore for them. Like they can learn how to do that, feed the dog. Like then they're starting to like, learn how to take care.
Abby
Are they too young?
Addie
No, because Griffin, they have so much fun with it.
Matt
Oh, I think they'll love it. And Griffin, can they hurt it?
Addie
No, no, his Griffin, you've seen them with our dogs and they're, they.
Abby
But your dogs are big.
Addie
It's a puppy. They'll love to play. Like the, the puppy made like nibble, nibble on the boys. That's what you have to like be like, like he's not hurting the kids. You know, like teaching them that.
Matt
I kind of want to go get the dog like right now.
Addie
Let's walk this through. We have a lot of stuff going on this weekend. And the puppy. Is Abby coming to stay with you?
Abby
Should the puppy meet Santa tomorrow? Cute.
Addie
But you're not going to.
Matt
I'm so in love with you.
Abby
I'm scared.
Matt
In this episode, I feel like we're having another child. I feel like I'm depressing.
Addie
My gosh. You have to get stuff.
Abby
Yeah.
Addie
You have to go get. Here's the thing. This is. That's exactly what Blake and I did. We found a dog. We went and got it that day and then we went, bought everything for him. We actually drove two hours to get Wrigley. You have to go get a bed, get a crate, get food. Just watch. Here, go back, I'll plug it. Go watch the video of you guys watching Wrigley when he was a puppy for a day. And that's just what it's going to be like. I think he peed on your carpet. Yeah, that's fine.
Abby
We have a lot of carpet.
Matt
We're going to get a leash. We're going to get a gate so that it can't go upstairs because we want to keep it on the hard place.
Addie
So if you get the puppy today, we need to find something to block. You could just even put like a cardboard box or something at the end of the stairs. And then they can't go up the stairs and so you just have to keep doors shut.
Abby
But I feel like the dog needs to sleep with us for a little bit, like in our room so they know that they're safe.
Addie
Yeah, we. We let him sleep in our room. You don't have to put it on your bed. You can have them sleep in there. What we did, what we did with Wrigley is we fed him in his crate so it was a safe place for him. He's like, oh, I get food in my crate. So then he like, like liked his crate and it was.
Matt
But you make the crate smaller so that way they feel safe. Cuz if it's too big, they'll poop.
Addie
And pee in there.
Abby
Oh.
Addie
Because they'll go to one side of it and do their bathroom stuff and.
Abby
Then they're like, this is the master bed. This is the master bath.
Matt
I'm so. Can you scoot over? I'm so glad we have our sister in law, Addie, who knows all this.
Abby
Stuff are also your brother and owns a dog.
Matt
But my brother told me many times not to get a dog. But we're going to say screw you, Caleb. We're doing it in anyway.
Addie
So everyone who's telling them not to get a dog can blame me.
Matt
Everyone comment. Everyone comment down below. Screw you, Caleb.
Abby
Oh my gosh, I'm scared.
Matt
Why are you scared?
Abby
Yeah, it's a big commitment. I don't want to take it lightly. I don't want to just be like, oh, this Is so cute.
Addie
Thinking about it for months and years, you have been talking. Years ago, you've been thinking about. In what people might say. You've been thinking about this before you were ever even pregnant, too. About, like, getting a dog. Oh, yeah.
Abby
And stuff.
Addie
So I feel like you. Like, that's something that, like, people might be thinking that, like, you're doing it at this time for this reason. This is the perfect time in between.
Abby
Your dog and we both work from.
Matt
Home, which is the perfect thing.
Addie
You do travel a lot, but if you find a good dog sitter, they're gonna be happy. My dogs jump on our dog sitter when she comes. Like, they hate when we're leaving, but they love her too, you know?
Matt
And they can stay at their house.
Addie
Yeah. And they stay there, and they can take care of them. They can take them on walks. It's. It would be better than having. Having even a family member.
Matt
And I don't think he knows it yet, but I think Matt Biswell is going to freaking love this dog.
Addie
Oh, Matt Biswell loves dogs.
Matt
Yeah. He's just.
Addie
We just don't always trust him with ours.
Matt
Yeah. I think.
Addie
Watch that.
Matt
Abby's. Abby's dad, like, goes on runs literally every day. I guarantee he's going to start taking our dog on runs.
Addie
He doesn't take our dog on runs.
Matt
Oh, okay. Maybe not. Maybe not. I. Maybe I'll be the one taking your dog.
Addie
Dogs are. Yeah, my dogs don't walk in a straight line.
Matt
You guys just saw us make it this. This decision in real time, people.
Abby
Wow.
Matt
Let's just go do it now. I don't want to look back. Let's go. Ready?
Addie
Wait. I think Blake to come in and you guys tell him he won't come on the podcast. Let me see if he will.
Abby
Yeah, Blake, come on the podcast.
Matt
Blake. Blake.
Abby
He's not gonna do it.
Addie
He'll be off camera.
Matt
Okay, Blake, guess what? I think we've decided that we're getting a dog. We're gonna go.
Abby
We're gonna go buy the dog on the podcast.
Matt
We're gonna buy the dog right now? Yeah.
Abby
Is it a bad idea?
Addie
No.
Abby
You don't think so?
Matt
Are you excited?
Abby
Do you think we're gonna. You think we can be trusted to be good pet owners?
Matt
I think so. That puppy looks pretty chill. Unless we're traveling. We're at our house 24 7.
Addie
Yeah.
Matt
You guys are home a lot, so.
Abby
We'Re home all day, every day.
Matt
And if we're traveling, we'll just get a dog sitter Dogs are definitely easier than babies. So, yeah, done babies twice.
Abby
Yeah, done babies twice.
Addie
So you can do dog.
Matt
Oh, yeah. Okay, there we have it, people. Blake.
Abby
Here's the thing. Blake is not the type of person. Just tell me what I want to hear, so I trust you. Do you want to go meet her? Yeah, sure. Let's get go. Experience the sequel everyone's been waiting for with Sideline 2 intercepted. Join Drayton and Dallas as they navigate the challenges of college life while trying to stay true to themselves and each other. Catch all the drama and watch Sideline 2 Intercepted, starring Noah Beck and Sienna Agudong for free on tubi this Thanksgiving.
Matt
Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster Zero Ultra, that's the OG it kicked off this whole Zero Sugar Energy. Drink everything but Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian Sunrise, and Vice Guava.
Abby
And they all bring the Monster Energy punch. So if you've been living in the.
Matt
White can branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe, and every single one is Zero Sugar. Tap the banner to learn more.
In this heartfelt and lively episode, Matt and Abby open up about the long, winding conversation around getting a puppy for their family. They explore the excitement, anxiety, conflicting advice from friends and family, and what bringing a dog would mean for their household. Alongside their signature humor and real-talk about relationships and parenting, they process the idea in real time, culminating in an on-air decision about whether to finally get "the dog."
"I just got this vision of Griffin growing up with the dog and, like, going off to college." – Matt (01:33)
"I'm scared. I feel like it's a big commitment. I'm like, I don't want to just do this impulsively." – Abby (49:58)
“We invited the opinions, but now I'm sick of the opinions.” – Abby (01:31)
“We’re just paralyzed at this point because we’ve gotten so much feedback. We're just paralyzed. So who knows what will come of it?” – Abby (41:22)
“In a way, I feel like this really aged me...it does. It just. It gave me a. A deeper perspective on life than I've ever had before." – Abby (05:06)
"My favorite thing is when you asked our boys what they're thankful for, the first thing Augie said: bad guys." – Matt (11:51)
“We have made so much use of the space...I want our kids and I want us to be outside as much as possible.” – Abby (26:11)
“For me, I don’t know if it was like this for you, but it was also kind of the realization of, like, you gave up on that dream. Damn." – Matt (09:00)
"Get a dog for you, not for the kids... My dogs are the reason I stay grounded. They're my companions, not a gift to the household. Dogs need their humans." (Listener comment, read by Matt, 33:59)
“You can’t get a puppy when you have a newborn.” – Abby (32:41)
“Of course you should get a dog.” – Addie (52:33)
Abby on Parental Lessons:
"I would not get the dog for them...they have no frame of reference to like, consent to that. You know what I mean? Like, I do think that they could benefit a lot from having a dog, but ultimately the dog would be for us." (35:45)
Matt, torn but dreaming:
"I just got this vision of Griffin growing up with the dog and, like, going off to college." (01:33)
Abby, overwhelmed by external opinions:
“We invited the opinions, but now I’m sick of the opinions.” (01:31)
The Pivot Toward Action:
“We just got this vision in our heads...I kind of want to go get it after the podcast. I want to go get a dog right now.” – Matt (01:39, also later at 44:25 and 57:05 for decision moments)
Addie, pro-dog advocate:
"Of course you should get a dog." (52:33)
Group Decision—The Big Send:
“I think we should send it. Let's just send it. It's a cute little golden retriever.” – Matt (55:00)
Abby’s inner conflict during the final decision:
“I'm scared. Why are you scared? Because I feel like it's a big commitment. I'm like, I don't want to just do this impulsively.” (49:58)
Matt & Abby's journey through the "dog dilemma" demonstrates just how complex family decisions can be—with practical concerns, emotional baggage, opinions galore, and a little chaos. Listeners will relate to the oscillation between wanting to “just send it” and the urge to overthink every scenario. By the end, listeners witness real-time decision-making, complete with all the fears, excitement, and loving bickering that make the Howards so magnetic.
If you’ve ever struggled with a “big family choice”—or just want to laugh along with two people figuring life out “unplanned”—this is a must-listen.