The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby

Episode: Life Update, Family Planning, and Getting a Dog Q&A

Date: November 5, 2025
Hosts: Matt & Abby Howard

Overview

In this heartfelt and candid episode, Matt and Abby answer listener questions about recent life changes, parenting two young boys, travel tips, family planning after pregnancy loss, and their ongoing debate about getting a dog. The couple reflects openly on grief, hope, and day-to-day joys and challenges of raising a young family. The episode blends humor, honesty, and practical advice—giving listeners a genuine look into the Howards’ evolving family life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Studio and Podcast Evolution

[01:03 – 02:20]
- Matt and Abby share excitement about their new in-home studio, which saves significant time and limits disruptions by kids (compared to filming in their living room).
“Now we just go downstairs… Our kids would be like knocking over expensive cameras and microphones.” – Abby [01:35]

2. Q&A: Family, Parenting, and Everyday Life

Upgrading to a Bigger Car

[02:20 – 04:55]
- The couple discusses deliberations over needing a three-row vehicle. Abby struggles to plan purchases given their loss and uncertainty.
“Getting the car right now just feels so frivolous… It’s not a need right now.” – Abby [03:33]

Feeding Picky Kids

[04:55 – 06:12]
- Bribes for dessert, minimized portions, and menu options based on what boys have liked before. Snacks are avoided before dinner to help with appetites.
“Honestly, you guys, we just bribe them.” – Matt [05:04] “We literally are bending over backwards for them.” – Abby [06:12]

Boys’ Current Interests

[06:13 – 08:52]
- Star Wars obsession—especially Darth Vader and stormtroopers. A Disneyland trip involved buying real lightsabers, prompting playful duels. Kids also love superheroes (Spider-Man, Hulk, Thor) and Chip and Dale (mistakenly called “Chicken Dales”).
“Our 2-year-old non-stop says, ‘I want to see Darth Vader die.’” – Matt [06:32] “Matt is like dueling with our kids… you’re such a hands-on dad.” – Abby [07:04]

Aspirations for Kids

[09:22 – 09:55]
- The boys want to be firefighters and want Matt to drive a trash truck. Abby reveals she finds firefighter as the most attractive profession.
“They both want to be firefighters with daddy—which is kind of concerning…” – Matt [09:34] “I think it’s the most attractive profession.” – Abby [09:51]

Navigating Social Media Success

[17:12 – 18:50]
- Matt and Abby recall simpler pre-social media days and admit to missing “the magic of a super simple life” but are grateful for what they have.
“The magic of an extremely simple life is kind of fun.” – Matt [17:30] “Everything’s a transaction like that.” – Abby [18:36]

Getting a Dog: Ongoing Debate

[11:30 – 14:15]
- The hosts discuss public (often aggressive) opinions around getting a dog (claims it’ll ruin their lives), echoing similar judgment that can come with family planning.
- Timing is the key issue—they want one, it’s just not clear when.
“80% of the feedback is: ‘Absolutely, do NOT get a dog. It will ruin your life.’” – Abby [12:05] “We have always known we were going to get a dog… It’s just trying to figure out the timing.” – Abby [12:39]
- Dream dog: Golden retriever, inspired by both childhood family memories.

Travel with Toddlers: Tips and Mishaps

[24:05 – 35:02]
- Recommend letting kids have screen time on flights (“We usually download Ms. Rachel or Star Wars,” Abby [27:15]).
- Traveling with a toddler is different from a baby; strong preference not to buy extra seats until required.
- Packing light and embracing flexibility is key as kids age.
- Child leash safety and airport strategies (wait to board last; let kids burn energy).
“If you want to secure an easy flight, buy the ticket… Otherwise, make friends with flight attendants.” – Matt [30:05] “We are kings and queens of not buying them the seat until they are two.” – Abby [31:36] “We wait until we’re the last people to board… as soon as you sit down, a timer starts.” – Abby [37:47]

Disney Adventures

[24:05 – 25:41, 44:44-45:02]
- Disney trip was magical for both parents and kids, especially as their son is now tall enough for major rides.
“My whole video of Spider-Man… was just Augie’s face, just—he was frozen with awe and wonder. That was like, oh, I’ll never forget.” – Abby [25:06]

3. Financial Q&A

[42:32 – 45:56]
- Budgeting with young kids: Explore community events and free activities (libraries, fire/police stations).
- Should you marry someone with similar financial stability? Not mandatory, but discuss debts.
- Roth IRA endorsement. Be open about credit card debt with your spouse.
- Investment changes post-Ramit Sethi podcast; now automating investments, focusing on ETFs.
“We just always told each other if we’ve ever opened up a bank account…” – Matt [46:07] “I want to fund our kids’ Roths, too—oh, actually, we did.” – Matt [45:44]

4. Grief, Hope, and Moving Forward after Loss

Family Planning & Loss

[52:00 – 56:51]
- Abby discusses conflicting feelings about planning another pregnancy after miscarriage.
- She addresses why questions about future pregnancies are not insensitive to her; hope and grief co-exist.
“When you’ve gone through something like what we’ve gone through… you’re discussing the possibility of another pregnancy… in the same breath that you find out you’ve lost your baby.” – Abby [52:05]
“There is hope there… It’s so terrifying and heavy and so different than it once was. But you’re right, there is hope.” – Abby [54:19]

The Changed Nature of Fear

[55:59 – 56:51]
- Loss shattered the idea “these things happen to other people.” Abby now experiences reoccurring, generalized fear, especially for her living children.
“There was a jar in my brain… for things that happened to other people… Now I am the other people.” – Abby [56:00]

Support Systems

[56:51 – 58:22]
- Meal train and supportive gestures from friends/family were invaluable.
“A meal train is so nice… It just gave us so much more time to think through everything and not have to keep going.” – Matt [57:44] “It’s just the fact that they’re seeing the pain that you’re in, and they’re showing up…” – Abby [58:01]

Ongoing Healing Process

[58:22 – 63:43]
- Abby describes the unpredictable waves of grief, using the “grief box” analogy, and the need to intentionally invite joy and accept moments of happiness without guilt.
“Invite joy. You don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed for feeling that in this season.” – Abby [59:28]

Coping, Triggers, and Filling Your Cup

[64:09 – 66:15]
- Self-care, couple therapy, setting aside breaks, and letting each other have time are critical for healing.
- Social media pregnancy announcements are a trigger; Abby’s relationship to her previous pregnancy is complex.
“It is like, a life that is so valuable. And pregnancy content is really the only reminders I have of our daughter’s life…” – Abby [65:54]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Parenting as Play:

“I’m the fraternity president and they’re the pledges… No, actually I’m the pledge. I do whatever they want.” – Matt [07:54]
On Getting a Dog:

“I would love to get a golden retriever for our kids. I know they’re so good with kids, but I’m also worried… you’re allergic to hair.” – Abby [14:18]
On Facing Loss and Hope:

“This jar held the things that happened to other people. And now I am the other people.” – Abby [56:00]
On Inviting Joy During Grief:

“Invite joy. You don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed for feeling that in this season.” – Abby [59:28]

Timestamps for Key Segments

01:03 – New in-home studio reveal and life update
02:42 – Deciding on a bigger car for the family
04:55 – How to get picky kids to eat
06:13 – Kids’ obsessions: Star Wars, superheroes, “Chicken Dales”
09:22 – Kids’ current dream jobs and Anna’s take on attractive professions
11:30 – The “Should we get a dog?” debate
24:05 – Disneyland trip reflections
27:45 – Airplane travel tips with toddlers
30:19 – Car seats on planes, seat hacks
37:47 – Airport/boarding strategies
42:32 – Budgeting, low-cost kid activities
45:44 – Roth IRAs and investing basics
52:00 – How to process family planning after miscarriage
55:59 – Impact of loss on daily life and anxiety
56:51 – How friends and meal trains helped
58:22 – How grief and happiness now coexist
64:09 – Each partner’s self-care post-loss
65:11 – Social media, triggers, and wrestling with pregnancy imagery

Final Thoughts

Matt and Abby offer a refreshingly honest window into balancing grief and gratitude, finding humor in chaos, and supporting each other as partners and parents. Through their willingness to tackle tough subjects and celebrate family joys, they continue to foster a sense of community and openness—a space where listeners can both learn and relate.

For more, connect with Matt & Abby on Instagram (@theunplannedpodcast) and YouTube.

The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby

Episode: Life Update, Family Planning, and Getting a Dog Q&A

Date: November 5, 2025
Hosts: Matt & Abby Howard

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Studio and Podcast Evolution

[01:03 – 02:20]
- Matt and Abby share excitement about their new in-home studio, which saves significant time and limits disruptions by kids (compared to filming in their living room).
“Now we just go downstairs… Our kids would be like knocking over expensive cameras and microphones.” – Abby [01:35]

2. Q&A: Family, Parenting, and Everyday Life

Upgrading to a Bigger Car

[02:20 – 04:55]
- The couple discusses deliberations over needing a three-row vehicle. Abby struggles to plan purchases given their loss and uncertainty.
“Getting the car right now just feels so frivolous… It’s not a need right now.” – Abby [03:33]

Feeding Picky Kids

[04:55 – 06:12]
- Bribes for dessert, minimized portions, and menu options based on what boys have liked before. Snacks are avoided before dinner to help with appetites.
“Honestly, you guys, we just bribe them.” – Matt [05:04] “We literally are bending over backwards for them.” – Abby [06:12]

Boys’ Current Interests

[06:13 – 08:52]
- Star Wars obsession—especially Darth Vader and stormtroopers. A Disneyland trip involved buying real lightsabers, prompting playful duels. Kids also love superheroes (Spider-Man, Hulk, Thor) and Chip and Dale (mistakenly called “Chicken Dales”).
“Our 2-year-old non-stop says, ‘I want to see Darth Vader die.’” – Matt [06:32] “Matt is like dueling with our kids… you’re such a hands-on dad.” – Abby [07:04]

Aspirations for Kids

[09:22 – 09:55]
- The boys want to be firefighters and want Matt to drive a trash truck. Abby reveals she finds firefighter as the most attractive profession.
“They both want to be firefighters with daddy—which is kind of concerning…” – Matt [09:34] “I think it’s the most attractive profession.” – Abby [09:51]

Navigating Social Media Success

[17:12 – 18:50]
- Matt and Abby recall simpler pre-social media days and admit to missing “the magic of a super simple life” but are grateful for what they have.
“The magic of an extremely simple life is kind of fun.” – Matt [17:30] “Everything’s a transaction like that.” – Abby [18:36]

Getting a Dog: Ongoing Debate

[11:30 – 14:15]
- The hosts discuss public (often aggressive) opinions around getting a dog (claims it’ll ruin their lives), echoing similar judgment that can come with family planning.
- Timing is the key issue—they want one, it’s just not clear when.
“80% of the feedback is: ‘Absolutely, do NOT get a dog. It will ruin your life.’” – Abby [12:05] “We have always known we were going to get a dog… It’s just trying to figure out the timing.” – Abby [12:39]
- Dream dog: Golden retriever, inspired by both childhood family memories.

Travel with Toddlers: Tips and Mishaps

[24:05 – 35:02]
- Recommend letting kids have screen time on flights (“We usually download Ms. Rachel or Star Wars,” Abby [27:15]).
- Traveling with a toddler is different from a baby; strong preference not to buy extra seats until required.
- Packing light and embracing flexibility is key as kids age.
- Child leash safety and airport strategies (wait to board last; let kids burn energy).
“If you want to secure an easy flight, buy the ticket… Otherwise, make friends with flight attendants.” – Matt [30:05] “We are kings and queens of not buying them the seat until they are two.” – Abby [31:36] “We wait until we’re the last people to board… as soon as you sit down, a timer starts.” – Abby [37:47]

Disney Adventures

[24:05 – 25:41, 44:44-45:02]
- Disney trip was magical for both parents and kids, especially as their son is now tall enough for major rides.
“My whole video of Spider-Man… was just Augie’s face, just—he was frozen with awe and wonder. That was like, oh, I’ll never forget.” – Abby [25:06]

3. Financial Q&A

[42:32 – 45:56]
- Budgeting with young kids: Explore community events and free activities (libraries, fire/police stations).
- Should you marry someone with similar financial stability? Not mandatory, but discuss debts.
- Roth IRA endorsement. Be open about credit card debt with your spouse.
- Investment changes post-Ramit Sethi podcast; now automating investments, focusing on ETFs.
“We just always told each other if we’ve ever opened up a bank account…” – Matt [46:07] “I want to fund our kids’ Roths, too—oh, actually, we did.” – Matt [45:44]

4. Grief, Hope, and Moving Forward after Loss

Family Planning & Loss

[52:00 – 56:51]
- Abby discusses conflicting feelings about planning another pregnancy after miscarriage.
- She addresses why questions about future pregnancies are not insensitive to her; hope and grief co-exist.
“When you’ve gone through something like what we’ve gone through… you’re discussing the possibility of another pregnancy… in the same breath that you find out you’ve lost your baby.” – Abby [52:05]
“There is hope there… It’s so terrifying and heavy and so different than it once was. But you’re right, there is hope.” – Abby [54:19]

The Changed Nature of Fear

[55:59 – 56:51]
- Loss shattered the idea “these things happen to other people.” Abby now experiences reoccurring, generalized fear, especially for her living children.
“There was a jar in my brain… for things that happened to other people… Now I am the other people.” – Abby [56:00]

Support Systems

[56:51 – 58:22]
- Meal train and supportive gestures from friends/family were invaluable.
“A meal train is so nice… It just gave us so much more time to think through everything and not have to keep going.” – Matt [57:44] “It’s just the fact that they’re seeing the pain that you’re in, and they’re showing up…” – Abby [58:01]

Ongoing Healing Process

[58:22 – 63:43]
- Abby describes the unpredictable waves of grief, using the “grief box” analogy, and the need to intentionally invite joy and accept moments of happiness without guilt.
“Invite joy. You don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed for feeling that in this season.” – Abby [59:28]

Coping, Triggers, and Filling Your Cup

[64:09 – 66:15]
- Self-care, couple therapy, setting aside breaks, and letting each other have time are critical for healing.
- Social media pregnancy announcements are a trigger; Abby’s relationship to her previous pregnancy is complex.
“It is like, a life that is so valuable. And pregnancy content is really the only reminders I have of our daughter’s life…” – Abby [65:54]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Parenting as Play:

“I’m the fraternity president and they’re the pledges… No, actually I’m the pledge. I do whatever they want.” – Matt [07:54]
On Getting a Dog:

“I would love to get a golden retriever for our kids. I know they’re so good with kids, but I’m also worried… you’re allergic to hair.” – Abby [14:18]
On Facing Loss and Hope:

“This jar held the things that happened to other people. And now I am the other people.” – Abby [56:00]
On Inviting Joy During Grief:

“Invite joy. You don’t have to feel guilty or ashamed for feeling that in this season.” – Abby [59:28]

Timestamps for Key Segments

01:03 – New in-home studio reveal and life update
02:42 – Deciding on a bigger car for the family
04:55 – How to get picky kids to eat
06:13 – Kids’ obsessions: Star Wars, superheroes, “Chicken Dales”
09:22 – Kids’ current dream jobs and Anna’s take on attractive professions
11:30 – The “Should we get a dog?” debate
24:05 – Disneyland trip reflections
27:45 – Airplane travel tips with toddlers
30:19 – Car seats on planes, seat hacks
37:47 – Airport/boarding strategies
42:32 – Budgeting, low-cost kid activities
45:44 – Roth IRAs and investing basics
52:00 – How to process family planning after miscarriage
55:59 – Impact of loss on daily life and anxiety
56:51 – How friends and meal trains helped
58:22 – How grief and happiness now coexist
64:09 – Each partner’s self-care post-loss
65:11 – Social media, triggers, and wrestling with pregnancy imagery

Final Thoughts

For more, connect with Matt & Abby on Instagram (@theunplannedpodcast) and YouTube.

Life update, family planning, and getting a dog Q&A

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Summary

The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby

Episode: Life Update, Family Planning, and Getting a Dog Q&A

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Studio and Podcast Evolution

2. Q&A: Family, Parenting, and Everyday Life

Upgrading to a Bigger Car

Feeding Picky Kids

Boys’ Current Interests

Aspirations for Kids

Navigating Social Media Success

Getting a Dog: Ongoing Debate

Travel with Toddlers: Tips and Mishaps

Disney Adventures

3. Financial Q&A

4. Grief, Hope, and Moving Forward after Loss

Family Planning & Loss

The Changed Nature of Fear

Support Systems

Ongoing Healing Process

Coping, Triggers, and Filling Your Cup

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Key Segments

Final Thoughts

Summary

The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby

Episode: Life Update, Family Planning, and Getting a Dog Q&A

Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Studio and Podcast Evolution

2. Q&A: Family, Parenting, and Everyday Life

Upgrading to a Bigger Car

Feeding Picky Kids

Boys’ Current Interests

Aspirations for Kids

Navigating Social Media Success

Getting a Dog: Ongoing Debate

Travel with Toddlers: Tips and Mishaps

Disney Adventures

3. Financial Q&A

4. Grief, Hope, and Moving Forward after Loss

Family Planning & Loss

The Changed Nature of Fear

Support Systems

Ongoing Healing Process

Coping, Triggers, and Filling Your Cup

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Timestamps for Key Segments

Final Thoughts