The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby Episode: Married Couple plays Agree to Disagree unhinged Date: December 17, 2025

Episode Overview

In this emotionally revealing and candid episode, Matt and Abby play their fan-favorite "Agree or Disagree" game—a relationship deep-dive that prompts them to individually react to a series of escalating, often unfiltered, statements about marriage, parenting, loss, and personal growth. Opening in their newly-upgraded (and kid-decorated) home studio, the duo talks through over 60 statements across three levels of intimacy, offering listeners an unguarded look into their evolving relationship, their perspectives on modern marriage, healing after miscarriage, boundaries, parenting choices, and more. The episode is peppered with both laughter and vulnerability, showcasing why fans appreciate their realness and willingness to address uncomfortable questions.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Changes Through Parenthood and Loss

• Miscarriage and Marital Transformation

  • The couple discusses how experiencing a miscarriage redefined their marriage:
    • "You're building a brand new marriage. It's not like your marriage changes. Like, it's like that marriage is gone." – Abby, [07:11]
    • Both attribute their growth in communication, therapy, and emotional intelligence to working through this grief together, noting that pain “bonded” them and forced new boundaries and self-understanding.
    • Matt confesses, "It really has changed my perspective... our marriage has changed for the better. So that's why I said strongly [agree]." [06:09]
  • They stress that positive outcomes of loss must be discovered personally, not imposed by others.

• Losing Parts of Themselves to Parenting

  • Both strongly agree that parenting fundamentally changes who you are, but see it as a refining process.
    • Abby describes postpartum identity loss: "I remember looking in the mirror... I did not know my place anymore. I felt so all consumed by motherhood, and I loved it, but I was just so lost on my own identity." [13:06]
    • Matt notes dads bond as children become more communicative.

2. Marriage Timing and Compatibility

• On Marrying Young

  • Matt is adamant: "I just don't see it happening any other way... We chose each other over careers. We chose each other over money." [09:23]
  • Abby shares it was about maturity in their relationship, not age.

• Shared Life Goals

  • Both agree it's important—though not vital—to have similar aspirations and to revisit them as individuals grow.

3. Parenting Philosophies

• Screen Time as Survival

  • Both strongly agree that screens are a tool for parents’ sanity:
    • "If you need a little break because you're about to lose it—yeah. Put on, put on a little show." – Matt, [16:02]

• Dog in the Bed?

  • Both strongly disagree, but admit their position could change as their pet ages.

4. Marriage Foundations: Love, Finances, and Roles

• Love vs. Financial Stability

  • While both prioritize love, they recognize financial stress as a significant factor:
    • "Love is hitting the jackpot... finances are also very important, but in the scheme of things, it feels minor." – Abby [24:24]
    • Matt notes his greater emphasis on financial stability; their difference is something they embrace.

• Household Roles

  • Both reject rigid divisions of labor and stress ongoing communication and flexibility.

5. Trust and Boundaries

• Passwords and Transparency

  • Both strongly agree couples should have access to each other's devices:
    • "Your phone is my phone." – Abby [38:28]
    • "If you don't have the password to your partner's phone, it's like, why?" – Matt [38:21]

• Opposite-Sex Friendships and Exes

  • Both generally disagree with being close friends with the opposite sex while married, viewing it as "playing with fire" unless unique circumstances apply (e.g., ex is gay).
    • Abby criticizes cultural hypocrisy around boundaries:
      • "When he has this boundary, people are making fun of him for it. That's crazy... they hold what they have together so highly that they're gonna put guardrails around it." [41:19]

6. Honesty and White Lies

• White Lies in Relationships
  • Nuanced agreement—sometimes a gentle white lie is more compassionate, especially postpartum.
    • "You know, I'm actually okay in that situation you lying to me. I prefer that you lie to me in that situation." – Abby [46:21]

7. Infidelity, Cheating, and Forgiveness

• Could the Relationship Survive Cheating?

  • Abby would "like to think" she'd leave Matt over infidelity; Matt believes he would offer a second chance, depending on circumstances.

• Considering Cheating/Divorce

  • Both candidly admit to fleeting thoughts of both, chalking it up to normal, extreme brain wanderings during hard times.
    • "If you've thought about it, then for me, my mind, you've considered it." – Abby [53:20]

• Flirting As Cheating

  • Both strongly disagree, stressing emotional affairs are still serious but distinctly separate from "cheating."

8. Social Media & Public Life

• Agree their online presence may amplify happiness, but strive for realness, especially through the podcast medium.
  • "This is like the realest thing you can have. Like, we're just...sitting, chatting, you know?" – Matt [36:49]

9. Growth Over Time

• Both strongly agree they're not the same people they married.

  • "We're both completely different. How could you not be after a decade?" – Matt [78:08]

• On Soulmates & Compatibility:

  • Both reject the idea of soulmates and agree there's probably someone "more compatible" out there—but what matters is choosing each other, training/learning together, and actively working on their relationship.
    • "We've been having sex for seven of those [ten years]...we really understand what each other likes, which is cool." – Matt [72:05]

10. Hope, Grief, Parenting after Loss

• Both discuss ongoing grief about miscarriage—how each has grieved differently, with Abby confronting feelings head-on for her children's sake, and Matt feeling dissociation followed by delayed emotional release.
• Contemplate "redemptive pregnancy" after loss and the hope and anxiety that brings.

11. Lighter, Playful Moments

• Abby pranks Matt about kissing another guy:
  • "You did pull that prank. And I...I really believed that you'd kiss another dude." – Matt [82:29]
• Discussed the strangeness of twins in relationships and joked about their own friends' experiences.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Marriage After Living Through Loss:
  • "You're building a brand new marriage... that marriage is gone. And this, this is a new marriage we're building together again." – Abby [07:11]
• On Parenting Changing Identity:
  • "I was looking in the mirror... I did not know my place anymore. I was so all consumed by motherhood." – Abby [13:06]
• On Cheating:
  • "I would like to think that I would leave you if you cheated on me." – Abby [47:17]
  • "I do believe in second chances and I really like you as a person. So I feel like...I would want to give you a second chance." – Matt [47:33]
• On Divorce As a Passing Thought:
  • "I feel like couples that say they haven't are either in just the most magical whoopty doo marriage or they're liars." – Matt [53:07]
• On Being Different But Together:
  • "Opposites attract 1000%. That's why we're married. We're different." – Matt [24:52]
• On Being Open About Phones:
  • "Your phone is my phone." – Abby [38:28]
• On Kids Changing Everything:
  • "Having a kid with someone is probably the biggest decision you can make in your life...I think you lose part of yourself." – Matt [12:20]
• On Grieving Differently In Marriage:
  • "Grief is like a fingerprint. It's unique to everybody." – Abby [56:09]
• Joking About Opposite Sex Rooming Rules:
  • "If you had a twin, that would be weird. That just would be. That just. Wouldn't that not be weird?" – Matt [80:24]

Segment Timestamps for Key Topics

• New Studio & Podcast Journey: [02:39–04:44]
• Agree to Disagree Game Setup: [04:44–05:11]
• Miscarriage and Marriage Change: [05:27–08:49]
• Marriage Timing/Young Marriage: [09:08–11:17]
• Parenting and Loss of Self: [11:31–14:58]
• Screen Time/Parent Breaks: [14:58–16:30]
• Marriage Compatibility & Goals: [19:32–20:24]
• Love vs. Money: [23:12–24:43]
• Household Roles and Cleaning: [25:10–27:26]
• Spouse vs. Extended Family: [27:26–28:31]
• Puppy & Trauma Buying: [28:32–29:58]
• Social Media Realness: [35:48–36:52]
• Passwords & Trust: [38:13–39:37]
• Opposite Sex Friendships/Boundaries: [39:51–44:50]
• White Lies/Compassionate Lying: [45:01–46:21]
• Cheating/Infidelity: [46:26–48:08]
• Considered Cheating or Divorce: [51:22–55:26]
• Grieving & Healing After Miscarriage: [56:26–59:42]
• Soulmates & Compatibility: [70:00–71:39]
• Flirting & Cheating: [76:30–77:58]
• Changed Over Time: [78:02–78:20]
• Life With One Person: [79:01–79:41]
• Kissing Others Before Marriage: [81:14–83:43]

Tone

Matt and Abby are casual, unguarded, and conversational, frequently oscillating between humor and gravity. They’re unafraid to challenge one another’s views but always return to mutual affection and respect, expressing their vulnerabilities without lapsing into melodrama.

Takeaways for New Listeners

This episode exemplifies the core of Matt and Abby’s draw: No topic is too sacred, too petty, or too “unhinged.” Their openness offers reassurance to anyone who’s ever questioned their own relationship’s ups and downs, and their mutual commitment, along with the willingness to evolve, underscores a deep foundation of trust and love.

Final Note:
If you’re navigating marriage, considering parenthood, or coping with loss, this episode offers a roadmap of hard conversations—brave, loving, imperfect, and above all, real.