Our Emergency Room Visit & the Cost of Miscarriage in America

Summary

The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby

Episode: Our Emergency Room Visit & the Cost of Miscarriage in America
Date: December 31, 2025

---

Episode Overview

In this candid episode, Matt and Abby share a deeply personal look into recent family emergencies, focusing on their first trip to the ER with their child and the overwhelming financial realities of healthcare in America. Balancing lighthearted family stories about their dog Pretzel and nostalgic college memories, they dive into an honest, emotional, and sometimes frustrated discussion about medical bills, access, privilege, and the urgent need for change in the US healthcare system.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing Their Golden Retriever, Pretzel

• [00:28–07:56]
• Abby and Matt answer listener questions about their new puppy, Pretzel, including how they chose her name (from a TV show), her personality, and the practicalities of adding a dog to a family with young children.
• Abby shares:
  “I love how cuddly she is. She will just let me hold her in my arms like a baby. And we walk around and look at Christmas lights.” [03:31]
• Discussion on dog parenting strategies, managing shedding, and their decision to keep Pretzel mostly on the lower floor.

2. A Trip Down Memory Lane: Missouri & College Days

• [08:45–21:34]
• The couple recounts their nostalgic weekend trip to Springfield, Missouri, revisiting their college haunts, first jobs, and reconnecting with old friends.
• Abby reflects on feeling at home in Springfield and driving past their old low-income housing:
  “I realized being in Springfield, I know the streets and I know the areas better than I know Arizona, which is weird to me…” [14:01]
• Matt talks emotionally about working as a substitute teacher in low-income schools, and the importance of compassion for both students and teachers:
  “These teachers, … are sacrificing so much of their time with their own kids, working for low pay in their off time… just out of passion at that point.” [16:37]

3. Confronting Privilege & Perspective-Shifting Moments

• [19:16–21:34]
• Story of a neighbor’s daughter in their old apartment complex, the realities of poverty, and how living alongside struggling families shaped their empathy and view on privilege.
• Matt:
  “Some people are starting way below basic needs being met. And I think that was just… a really good perspective that we got early in our marriage… Just so much gratitude. But also, it really set a foundation of compassion in our lives…” [20:09]

4. Silver Dollar City VIP Experience

• [22:44–33:46]
• Matt & Abby give a lively review of Silver Dollar City in Branson, Missouri, detailing holiday traditions, the magic of VIP treatment, standout food, and funny family anecdotes — from audience-shy parents to their son’s crush on the saloon performers.
• Abby:
  “We have never, ever had a VIP experience… Having a guide who was getting us to the front of the line for every ride… I felt guilty. It was so good.” [24:38]
• Memorable moment: Matt’s dad “army crawling” out of an interactive show at Disney due to audience anxiety. [25:55]

5. ER Emergency with Their Child

• [33:46–43:54]
• The heart of the episode: The couple shares the story of their son’s head injury at Silver Dollar City — the fear, the ambulance ride, the hospital care, and the emotional aftermath as parents.
• Matt:
  “I felt the most like a parent I’ve ever been… I just wanted to trade places with him so badly… But he’s really such a trooper.” [38:03]
• Abby on aftershock:
  “The next day, the only thing I could think about was just like, I’m so glad our kid’s okay… I didn’t give myself time to process.” [42:57]

6. The Shocking Cost of Medical Care in America

• [44:10–62:35]
• Transparent discussion about the staggering bills: $6,281 for their son's ER visit (not counting the ambulance), $35,000+ for Abby’s miscarriage, and past bills for childbirth and anesthesia.
• Matt:
  “Whenever I do anything else in my life, they don’t set the price based on… a series of questions about myself before they set the price. I would like to get the price of what they… used.” [46:36]
• Abby:
  “We can afford to pay this $6,200 bill, but there’s a lot of people that can’t… That should be something that at least is affordable for the average American.” [47:05]
• Notable frustration:
  • The lack of transparent pricing
  • Arbitrary discounts if you call the hospital
  • The emotional toll and administrative labyrinth for patients
  • Consent issues: not being told (or able to anticipate) costs at the time of decision-making

7. The Hidden Trauma of Medical Debt & Systemic Flaws

• [51:16–62:35]
• They tally up their medical bills (over $45,000) and reflect on how, had this happened when they were newlyweds in low-income housing, it “would have changed the trajectory of our life.” [59:15]
• Matt:
  “We deserve transparent pricing. We deserve to give full consent…” [59:26]
• Abby:
  “I feel like it’s highway robbery. Like, it’s a legal way that companies are able to rob the American people.” [60:39]

8. Calls for Change & Closing Reflections

• [62:35–66:15]
• Both express gratitude that their family is financially stable, but want to use their platform to amplify the voices of those caught in medical debt cycles. They encourage listeners to share ideas and recommend expert guests.
• Matt:
  “I know that we’re not the only family affected by this… maybe the right ear can listen…” [61:13]
• Abby:
  “I just think that in… one of the wealthiest countries in the world, there’s no reason we can’t have some basic medical needs that are… covered through our tax dollars or affordable.” [65:15]

---

Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Abby on financial shock:
  “Six years ago… getting a bill like we’re getting now would have devastated [us] financially.” [00:54]

• Matt on empathy and privilege:
  “Some people are starting… at a great advantage in life, and some people are starting way below basic needs being met… just making me emotional thinking about… perspective that we got early in our marriage…” [20:09]

• On ER costs:
  “For all the medical care… the subtotal was $9,605.50.” [45:58]
  “For a three-hour emergency room visit with one CT scan… there’s no way that’s a nearly $20,000 bill.” [55:00]

• On the emotional cost of injuries:
  “He was totally calmed down by then… it took a couple years off my life probably.” [42:32]

• On systemic issues:
  “Capitalism has F’d up the medical industry in America.” [48:01]
  “We don’t know the price of things before you’re getting the care…” [54:55]

---

Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:28–07:56] – Meet Pretzel: Puppy Q&A
• [08:45–21:34] – Missouri trip, college nostalgia, privilege reflections
• [22:44–33:46] – Silver Dollar City stories & VIP experience
• [33:46–43:54] – Emergency room visit: what happened & emotional aftermath
• [44:10–62:35] – Medical costs: real numbers & the system’s failures
• [62:35–66:15] – Calls for change, gratitude, and closing thoughts

---

Tone & Style

• Warm, conversational, and honest
• Balances humor and nostalgia with vulnerability and social critique
• Empathetic, service-oriented: repeatedly acknowledging the privileges they now have, concerned for equity and fairness for all

---

Summary Takeaways

If you’re unable to listen, this episode offers:

• Intimate, relatable family stories that illustrate the joys and challenges of young parenthood.
• An unfiltered look at America’s broken healthcare billing systems—complete with concrete numbers that drive home the issue.
• A heartfelt plea for change, transparency, and compassion—for everyday Americans at the mercy of unpredictable medical costs.
• A clear call to action: If you have expert insight or activism ideas, Matt and Abby want to hear from their community.

---

End Note:
This episode is a thoughtful blend of family life, financial vulnerability, and advocacy. Matt & Abby’s willingness to share their medical scares — and the financial chaos that followed — puts a deeply personal face on a national crisis.

Transcript

[Abby]

So good, so good, so good.

[Nordstrom Rack Announcer]

New year new gear. Thousands of fresh active styles are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Save on top brands like Nike, Puma and free people starting at just $35.

[Listener/Caller]

How did I not know Rack has Adidas?

[Matt]

There's always something new.

[Nordstrom Rack Announcer]

Plus, join the Nordy Club to shop new arrivals first. Unlock exclusive discounts and more. Great brands, great prices. That's why you Rack.

[Abby]

It was our first trip to the emergency room as a family.

[Matt]

Hopefully the last. But the reality is the doctor even told me that day, he was like, won't be the last one. Mom with two boys, all the medical.

[Abby]

Care, a CT scan, staples, and the three hour stay in the hospital. The subtotal was $9605.

[Matt]

We're sitting on a $35,000 bill for the miscarriage.

[Abby]

Is it 35,000?

[Matt]

With everything I'm already dealing with on my end from those days in the hospital, I can't even mentally begin to tackle those bills.

[Abby]

Six years ago, as newlyweds living in low income housing, getting a bill like we're getting now would have devast financially. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Unplanned. We have a very special guest joining us today live in the studio. This actually is not live. You guys are not watching this live. But it's Pretzel.

[Matt]

It's our dog Pretzel.

[Abby]

Pretzel, what would you like to say with being on this show? She just licked the mic. That was very cute.

[Matt]

She wants to play.

[Abby]

She wants to play. She's so stir crazy right now. I feel bad holding her cuz he kind of just wants to run around.

[Matt]

Go girl, go play and go play.

[Abby]

And chew on my socks. One of the main questions we've been getting asked is like, how do we come up with her name? Do we answer that on the podcast?

[Matt]

I don't know.

[Abby]

Well, we watched this show in college called in the Dark about this girl that was blind and she was trying to.

[Matt]

No one else watched this show but us because we love this. She had a golden retriever named Pretzel. Like this is completely not creative on our part. Like, yeah, we saw a golden retriever with name Pretzel and we're like, yeah, one day we'll have a golden retriever and we'll probably name it Pretzel.

[Abby]

She was born on September. Did you say 13th?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Abby]

So she's officially three months and a couple days old. Been such a joy. She's already getting so big.

[Matt]

Like we took, gotten bigger.

[Abby]

We took a, a brief trip this past weekend and just from coming home after a couple days, I noticed she grew.

[Matt]

I know.

[Abby]

Like, she's growing so fast.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

She's.

[Abby]

She's smaller than both of our boys right now, but in a year, she will be bigger than both of our boys, which is kind of crazy.

[Matt]

I want her to get bigger.

[Abby]

How's she going to get to be 60 pounds?

[Matt]

It is crazy. I want her to get bigger, though, just so she can. Like, sometimes I feel like I have to defend her with the toddlers. Like, they want to, like, play with her in a way that I'm like, she does not bite or growl or cry when, like, they're, like, a little too rough with her. So I feel like I have to constantly be on high alert. But if she's bigger, then I'm like, she can. Yeah, she's a little more tough, but she can also fit through her pool fence right now, so that's terrifying as well.

[Abby]

Which guys, we have had so many questions about pretzels, so I want to go ahead and answer some questions that you guys submitted on, actually, my personal Instagram a couple of days ago. And so we'll get to those right now, but stay tuned because we have so many updates to give you as far as, like, a trip to the emergency room that we had to go to a couple of days ago, which was terrifying. Everything's okay. Don't worry. We're fine. And just a really fun family trip to Silver Dollar City, which is a theme park that Abby and I grew up going to. When we first started dating and we were, you know, in college, about to get married, it was just like, it's a. It's a cool theme park that we had a lot of fun at. But anyway, and we also got to.

[Matt]

Visit the place that we worked at.

[Abby]

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. That was really fun seeing our old boss. But anyway, first question. Going to town. Maybe I should go get her. You want to read one of these questions? The one at the top is the one that I thought would be interesting to start with.

[Matt]

What do you like most about her?

[Abby]

I love how cuddly she is. She will just let me hold her in my arms like a baby. And we walk around and look at Christmas lights.

[Matt]

She looks awkward right out of the way you're holding her.

[Abby]

She's basically a human. We're best buddies. She's licking my hand right now. Hi.

[Matt]

I'm surprised you like having a dog, so.

[Abby]

I love it. I. My parents wouldn't let me get a dog. I begged for a dog as A kid. And then we settled on getting a ferret because. Because my parents didn't want to have a dog. They. They thought that a parrot would be, like, less maintenance. And. And it was like, I took care of that ferret all by myself. But, yeah, I had a rat, I had a ferret. We had a goldfish. Never a dog. Never had. Ever had a dog, so this is so much fun.

[Matt]

Well, their man's best friend, and I actually do think she likes you better than me.

[Abby]

And, well, babe, they. They're like. They're really good with kids, too. At least she's really good with kids. And I feel like it's so much easier. Like, the newborn stage. I feel like we had tough newborns. So I think we just got blessed with a perfect puppy. Because she does no wrong. The worst that she does is poop on the carpet every once in a while. But that's so easy to clean up. That takes less time than changing a diaper. Is cleaning poop off the carpet. The only downside I was actually concerned for was the shedding. And it is. It's a problem. I mean, look at. If you guys look at my black shirt right now, it's covered completely, covered in hair. And she's just a puppy, so she's going to get bigger.

[Matt]

Just never wear black ever again.

[Abby]

I probably should stop wearing black shirts. You know, if I'm. If I'm going to be holding press, I shouldn't wear a black shirt.

[Matt]

We also are unfazed by her mischief and her messes, because that's the name of the game in our household right now.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So, I mean, I guess you could make an argument for both sides, but I want to be more vocal about the argument of maybe thinking about getting a dog after you have kids, when you have little kids, because it's just like, add to the crazy. No problem.

[Abby]

Yeah, I would 100% agree with that. I think something that we're gonna do to mitigate the pet dander in our house is get a robotic vacuum. We're gonna try to consistently brush her so that, like, all of that shedding, you know, goes out into our yard. Also, I heard that swimming for dogs can help with it with the shedding. Right. So we'll just let our pool filter handle all of that and then get her groomed often. Get her groomed? Yeah, getting her groomed. We also don't let her upstairs.

[Matt]

Yeah. I think it's just a good idea to have the dog on the lower level.

[Abby]

Yeah. So I installed this, like, baby gate that goes across the front of our stairs so that she can't even get upstairs. So that's good.

[Matt]

But we don't even. Haven't even had that. She doesn't try.

[Abby]

Yeah, I know. She's good. It's like she learned to not go upstairs.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Abby]

We just got to teach her to actually go poop outside every single time. And not only that, but not poop or pee on the turf, because I don't want our turf to start smelling really bad.

[Matt]

That's a diff. That's a different battle. I feel like you need to pick your battles, honestly.

[Abby]

What are battles you're trying to pick with Pretzel?

[Matt]

Oh, let's not poop and pee in the house.

[Abby]

That's a good one. Yeah, I'm a fan of that. I still think it's funny that even though she had direct access to the outdoors at her friend's house yesterday, she still took a crap on the rug.

[Matt]

Yeah, she really likes to go poop only on rugs or turf.

[Abby]

It's still funny to me. Like, I. Again, I think Pretzel is an easy puppy, but I feel like with how easy Pretzel is, I feel like I could have 20 pretzels. Like, I feel like pretzel equals 20. 20 children or 20 pretzels equals one.

[Matt]

Dog is the same. Like, some people, dogs are incredibly, like, much more like, of a handful in the early stages, and some kids are, like, really easy babies.

[Abby]

And the other thing is, like, parenting and raising a child is hard, but I think it's the most rewarding thing you can do on this earth. So we're one of. One of the most. You know, there's. There's some other. Other stuff up there that's, like, pretty rewarding and pretty cool, but, yeah, I. I'm a fan. I love. I love having a puppy. She's so cute.

[Matt]

I think a big conversation we had before getting a puppy is like, okay, well, we like to travel a lot. How are we gonna do this with a dog? And we did just have our first weekend away from Pretzel, and so we missed her. But we got lots of pictures and updates, and I think we overall decided that, at least for now, it's best for her to stay in the house, especially as a puppy. Like, she's still getting used. We didn't want her, like, moving around a lot, and we just want her to feel really comfortable and safe, and she feels comfortable and safe in her house, and we had someone stay with her and just keep her normal routine which is. I think that's ideal for, like, little kids and also for dogs. So that parallel is there for sure. But she had the sweetest girl, like, watching her and playing with her, sending lots of pictures.

[Abby]

Yeah, I'm really thankful. We. We got some family photos with Pretzel a couple weeks ago. Um, and the photographer that took the photos, she. She brought a friend along, and that friend has a golden retriever, and she's. She's, like, really, really good with dogs because she's just grown up with dogs, and so she's been amazing. You know, I think we've had her watch Pretzel a total of, like, what, four days or something now. So it's been. It's been really helpful to have someone that you know and you can trust that, like, really knows what they're doing. And I think that makes all the difference. Like, when. When you have a puppy, you just want to make sure that your puppy isn't, like, I don't want our dog going into some, like, cage or going into some place where she doesn't. Doesn't, like, know people. And. And so here she feels safe. She's in her own house and with a really sweet girl who.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Who knows how to take good care of her.

[Matt]

Yeah. So that felt really good.

[Abby]

But the reason, guys, that we went back to Missouri for this trip.

[Matt]

Did we say that we went to Missouri?

[Abby]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt]

For the long weekend.

[Abby]

Yeah. So we did a weekend trip back to Springfield, Missouri. It's where Abby and I went to college at Missouri State University. Abby graduated. I did not. I think your grandma still wants me to graduate. But anyway, it was amazing because we went to Silver Dollar City, which is a. A theme park that does.

[Matt]

Apparently, Silver Dollar City is getting big on social media.

[Abby]

They're huge. They go all out for Christmas every single year. We. We've been going for years. I mean, we started going there together.

[Matt]

Our sophomore year of college.

[Abby]

Yeah. Was that 2018 that we went there?

[Matt]

Maybe 2017.

[Abby]

Did we go in 2017 as freshmen?

[Matt]

27.

[Abby]

Maybe we did.

[Matt]

Maybe we did go in 2017.

[Abby]

Yeah. Because we were both working at Flames Steakhouse at the time, which. You were a cocktail waitress. I was. I was a busser. And I saved up so that we could eat at that fancy restaurant because it was like. It's like one of the nicest restaurants.

[Matt]

In Springfield for my birthday.

[Abby]

For Abby's birthday. And then I surprised you with tickets.

[Matt]

To Silver Dollar Discount.

[Abby]

I think we did actually. I think we did get an employee discount, which helped. That's expensive.

[Matt]

I really want that again. They actually have really good food.

[Abby]

You want to go back?

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Abby]

They just have these really good, dry, aged steaks, and they have lobster Mac and cheese. I feel like Griffin would love them at lobster Mac.

[Matt]

We didn't really like working there, though, so maybe we don't need to, like, to promote it. Promote it. I think that was a little bit suspicious.

[Abby]

There's some sketch stuff.

[Matt]

Allegedly.

[Abby]

Allegedly. Allegedly. That was our first job in college, guys, at that restaurant. Our second job. The owners were much better.

[Matt]

A great experience. We worked at this pizza restaurant called Bellacino's. And I also always feel like when I say it that people that, like, maybe actually speak Italian or are Italian probably look at the way that it's spelled and probably think it should be Bella chinos.

[Abby]

Well, I thought it was bella chinos. And then the owner of the. I guess it's a franchise was like. No, we call it Belcinos.

[Matt]

So maybe that's just like the Midwestern.

[Abby]

Pronunciation white people call it in Missouri.

[Matt]

Just. Just know that.

[Abby]

Anyway, they have really good pizza. Really good grinders.

[Matt]

They call grinders or hot sandwiches. They're known for their pizza and grinders, and their food is so good. But also, working there, like, was such a sweet time in our lives. It was before we got engaged. We're dating, and we had to, like, convince a restaurant to hire both of us because our goal was to be servers. Because you can make more hourly because of tips.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And. But it was really hard to convince people to hire us at this time because, like, serving jobs like this was before COVID So I feel like serving jobs were, like, everyone was trying to get them that. And, like, we had never served before other than at that Flame Steakhouse. And you weren't a server anyway. We were trying to find someone that would hire the two of us when we're dating.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And that was hard because it kind of makes you a liability.

[Abby]

Well, the reason. Yeah, we were a liability. No. Nobody wants to hire a couple. Right. Unless you're married. If you're married, that's different. Like, they. They expect you to stay together.

[Matt]

But even then, it probably is still.

[Abby]

Messier if you're dating, though. Yeah. Like that. It probably could be. Yeah. Do people not want to hire married couples at companies? I don't know.

[Matt]

Maybe not. I don't know. But we had to. We. The reason we had to work together is not because we were, like, the clingiest couple in the world, which we were pretty clingy. But it's because we shared a vehicle. So, yeah, like, if we were both going to work at the same time, we needed to work at the same place.

[Abby]

But we check. We went back, we took the boys to get some pizza, some grinders, talk.

[Matt]

To our bosses, and own.

[Abby]

Blaine and Janice. If you guys ever go to Bella Sino's in Springfield on. Is it on Battlefield Road? Is that.

[Matt]

Yeah, across from the mall. It's like, gotta go. Their food is so good. And.

[Abby]

And here's a picture of us with Lane and Janice. We got a little selfie with them. They're doing well. They said business is doing great, which is. I'm so happy to hear that for them because I know it's really hard owning a restaurant.

[Matt]

Yeah, we were there their first. We were like, their first hires.

[Abby]

No. Yeah, we opened the restaurant.

[Matt]

We opened the restaurant with them. And that's a grind. Yeah, that is hard. And so I, like, respect them for sticking it out and so happy that they're doing well. And also their food is as good as ever. So if you're in Springfield visiting or, like, live there, you gotta go. Trust me, you gotta go.

[Abby]

Tell Blaine and Janice hi for us.

[Matt]

The restaurant is so nostalgic feeling too. Like, I just. I love it.

[Abby]

Got to even reconnect with some college friends that we. That we, like, hung out with in college a lot.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Abby]

So two of Abby's friends from Quincy. Yeah, they were. They were in our wedding. Her best friend Morgan from growing up, her really close friend Kara from growing up. And their husbands, we hung out with them.

[Matt]

That's always so sweet. Like, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to having friends that you don't necessarily. That maybe they live out of town. You don't talk every day or very often. But, like, when you meet. When you see them again, you pick up, like, nothing. Like, there was no time in between.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And that's really sweet because I also know, too, that, like, if anything happens, like, big things in my life, they're always going to be filled in and they're always going to be there for me. And that's really sweet because, like, I don't know, sometimes you can look at where you're at currently and be like, okay, like, I love my new friends, but there's just something about old friends, too that is just. That just really just makes you feel so safe as a person and so, like, rooted and grounded. And I also know that they would also keep me accountable if, like, say, for instance, I started acting all, like, different one day. Like, hey, like, I think that they would be like, what's going on? Like, I feel like they, like they know me and they, they would keep me accountable to a version of myself that like has space to grow, but also just like, you know.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Keep me on track.

[Abby]

I really enjoyed seeing old friends driving around the old stomping grounds. I realized being in Springfield, I know the streets and I know the areas better than I know Arizona, which is weird to me because I think Arizona is so big and so spread out that I just haven't quite like mapped it in my brain yet. But I just knew I didn't need Google Maps really when we were in Springfield, like, or Apple Maps. Like, I was just able to drive and I was like, oh, this is grand. Oh, this is Kansas Expressway. Like, I knew everywhere where to drive and that was cool. We even drove by like random places, like. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Wait, guys. This was actually like, it almost made me tear up driving by because I'm like, I'm like, how do we, I was like, how do we do this? We drove by the low income housing apartments that we used to live in and it was in like a not so great part of town, which I don't think it's, it's not necessarily unsafe. It's just a very low income area. So there's, there's houses when you drive by in the area that are like very run down. There was a house that we drove by that looked like it got into a fire and it just hasn't been repaired yet.

[Matt]

I subbed in those schools around there too. And it's just, it's a title. One is what they call it.

[Abby]

And you, you told me, you know, one of the, one of the times you subbed at those schools, stories from those schools. Didn't you say there was a girl that literally slept the entire time that you were.

[Matt]

Unfortunately, that's not uncommon. Like, you know, these kids, you don't know what their home is like, like why they can't get a good night's rest. But all the teachers that day, there's one day specifically, there's one little girl that stands out to me a lot. That is, they're like, just let her sleep.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Like it's more important that she sleeps right now than like whatever you're teaching them in the classroom. That just makes me really sad because. Yeah, it just makes you wonder, you know, what's happening at home. And I just think those teachers, like, obviously I was just a sub in for a day, but those teachers that are with them every day. There really are just like angels to those kids. And I just, like I said, that's what honestly makes me so mad today. Like, this is just a totally different soapbox. I didn't expect to get on, but there's just like a lot of heat towards the public schools and public schools teachers that honestly, nothing lights a fire under me than that because it's like you run your mouth, but you're not in those schools, you're not around those kids day in and day out. Like advocate. They, they're mandatory reporters. They are, they are, they have to advocate for these children more than just teach them whatever they're, you know, given to teach in the curriculum. They're, they're advocating for them. They're like loving on them and they're like also teaching them like their own internal dialogues. They're, they are with their children, with your, with people's children more than their own parents are with them.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And I don't think that's wrong, but that's, I mean that's their job. And then people are just running their mouth that haven't stepped foot in an elementary classroom in the past decade and they have a lot to say. And it's like, oh, well, have you talked to a teacher recently that teaches in a public school? Have you been in a public school? They don't know what's going on. And so I, yeah, that's a whole different topic. But I just get so frustrated because it's like these, these people, like there's a lot of women in elementary, but like these men and women are, you know, sacrificing so much of their time with their own kids, with their own families, working for low pay in their off time. Like they're not working in their contracted hours all the time. They're working way in their off contracted hours just so out of passion at that point and love for their kids. But then just to be regarded like that publicly is just, it's shameful. And I think that we really need to work on our rhetoric around teachers and like the school system in general. Like, let's talk about support and stop bringing them down like, it's crazy. Thank you to ZocDoc for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

[Abby]

I recently had an appointment with a psychiatrist all through ZocDoc. Guys. I've done ADHD diagnoses through ZocDoc. Not that sounded like I've done it multiple times. That was just a one time thing. One and done. That was a one and done When I got a concussion, I did a same day appointment with ZocDoc. It's amazing if you haven't heard of it. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book and apply. You can book in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty.

[Matt]

What's cool about ZocDoc is that you can filter for doctors who take your insurance who are located nearby and are a good fit for any medical need you may have. Their doctors are also highly rated by verified patients. Plus appointments made through Zocdoc happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. And you can also score same day appointments which we have multiple times.

[Abby]

Oh yeah, I use Octoc and you should too. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com unplanned planned to find an instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com unplanned Zocdoc.com unplanned Another thing about living in that low income housing development is there was another girl that we would consistently see who didn't really have parents in her life. She was living with her grandpa. We, at one point I was like, I legitimately had a conversation with you Abby about like, should we see if we can adopt her? Like I don't know if this was if that's something that her grandpa would be open to, but we would just see her alone.

[Matt]

You did ask him.

[Abby]

Yeah, we see her like alone playing by herself in the parking lot of this apartment all the time. And she was four and so we ended up, you know, taking her on little outings to McDonald's and to the playground and we would, we would just take her and go play with her.

[Matt]

Because they didn't have a car. So like she couldn't actually leave. And there's no, there's nowhere within walking distance that they could go to.

[Abby]

And we had friends in our, in our community, community, you know, our community group of people, like they ended up taking on that role of like checking in on this girl when we left and moved to Hawaii. And I was so grateful to our friends for doing that. I actually don't know like how she's doing or where she's at or if they're still living there at this point. But that was like, that was just you, you, when you, when you live in a place like that, you really see what goes on in the world and it like Opens your eyes.

[Matt]

Well, yeah. We're not all starting at ground zero, right?

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Like, some people are starting at a great advantage in life, and some people are starting way below basic needs being met. And I think that was just. It's just making me emotional thinking about. But that was a really good perspective that we got early in our marriage about, like, life and privilege and.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Like, I don't know, just gratitude. Just so much gratitude. But also, like, it was. It really just helps, like, set a foundation of compassion in our lives because it's like, you can talk a lot about, like, a system or, like, people in this status or this X, Y, and Z, or in this school district or in this school or in this occupation, but when you actually are in relationship with them is when it, like, adds so much more nuance and so much more empathy and compassion. And I. I am really grateful for that season in Springfield and also that. Yeah, just being back in Springfield in general was, like, so comforting for me because I'm like. I just. It feels like. It feels like such a sweet season. And, like, everything felt really, like, low. Relatively low risk at that point in our lives. Like, we were in school. Like, we were. Had this. We had so much structure around us.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And, like, had jobs and, like, everything, like, everything felt so simple and simple.

[Abby]

It was so simple, but it also.

[Matt]

Made me feel, like, so melancholy being back. Like, I don't know.

[Abby]

You didn't like the cold also?

[Matt]

I hated the cold. Oh, my gosh. I've literally forgot that. We used to literally live in that all. Every winter. I'm such a baby now.

[Abby]

You were cracking me up. Like, it hurt.

[Matt]

Like, actually, the cold, like, literally, it felt like it was sending ice up my brain into my head. I had a headache because it was so cold.

[Abby]

And our boys haven't really experienced stuff. They stopped walking, so they, like. One time, Griffin washed his hands and got, like, water all over his coat. And then his hands were still wet because he, like, didn't wipe them off properly. And I was like, hey, buddy, you need to put your hands inside the coat pockets.

[Matt]

They have no survival skills below 50 degrees.

[Abby]

He didn't understand that, like, being wet in the cold, like, when you're about to walk outside of the bathroom, that is going to freeze the crap out of his hands. He just had no recollection of that. And so I was trying to, like, teach him how it works when you're outside in the cold.

[Matt]

Yeah, no, he hasn't. They have no idea.

[Abby]

They're just learning, you know, they're just figuring it out.

[Matt]

He just, like, stopped walking at one point. He was like, I'm too coldy. And I was like, well, we gotta get to the heated area, so we gotta walk, buddy. He's like, I can't.

[Abby]

Yeah. Which. Which again, was the reason that we actually flew back and did this trip was for Silver Dollar City, because at Christmas time, specifically, which was incredible. Abby, how did this Silver Dollar City trip come to be? Because you were DMing the silver dollar City account, Right? And then they.

[Matt]

We've been in conversation with them before, and they, like, had us reach out via email, and they organized this trip with us. And, I mean, it was the most incredible experience for our family, I think, especially having two little kids, like, getting to get the most out of this trip, like, back to back to back, like, while we were there, was just. I mean, it was a blast. And the fact that we got to bring your parents along, too, also made it, like, even more, like, special and worth it, too. And so we got to go on rides. So if you don't know what Silver Dollar City is, it's like, I explain it as, like, the most wholesome theme park you could go to. Like, it is in Branson, Missouri. Just. And honestly, Branson's beautiful. Driving through there, I was like, I forget how beautiful, like, these trees and hills are. And it's like, the most wholesome theme park because they have. A lot of the employees are, like, retirees who are just very sweet and, like, just want to be around people and especially kids. So that's awesome. But they have great food. The best theme park food you can get. Let's. Let's just say it, a million times better than Disney World.

[Abby]

Their food is awesome. It is awesome.

[Matt]

They had amazing, like, special treats, and.

[Abby]

They took really good care of us. Like, guys, we have been to this theme park probably 10 or 15 times because I came growing up as a kid. We started growing going together when we were in college. It's a really special park to the both of us, and we have never, ever had a VIP experience. Like, we. It was just, like, something that we. It was like, a really big deal that we were going in the first place. So this time having. Did I did it? Did we say that? Did we say that? They.

[Matt]

No.

[Abby]

Okay. Yeah. So Silver Dollar City gave us a VIP experience this time where we had a guide who was getting us to the front of the line for every ride we went on. And it was. I felt guilty. It was so good. I felt guilty. I was like, this is I feel wrong. Like, I don't. I don't get it. It was crazy, though.

[Matt]

Yeah. We had an amazing guy. Let's shout her out. Her name was Abby, too.

[Abby]

Yes.

[Matt]

She was really sweet and, like, helped us get treats and meals. But I'm confident, like, with. If you just got tickets to Silver Dollar City and just went, it's way easier. You don't have to be nearly as strategic as these other parks.

[Abby]

Not like Disney. It's not as crowded as Disney.

[Matt]

You're gonna be able to get around just fine. Get on rides. And it's decked out at Christmas time. Like, they have, like, what is it, 8 million lights. Something crazy.

[Abby]

Let me look it up, because I want to make sure that we say the exact number.

[Matt]

Like, every year they add more lights. They have a beautiful and really well done Christmas parade. They have Christmas shows. They do A Christmas Carol and then this, like, Christmas Saloon with these singers and dancers that dad. Matt's dad was actually.

[Nordstrom Rack Announcer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abby]

Yes.

[Matt]

I mean, if there was an experience that could highlight the differences between my dad and your dad anymore, I cannot think of it because my dad will not attend shows if there's even an inkling that there is audience interaction.

[Abby]

Your dad, he's terrified of getting called up to the front.

[Matt]

That's his worst fear.

[Abby]

Yes. Didn't he get called one time and he slid out? He snuck out?

[Matt]

No, he. He was in a show and he realized that there was audience interaction and he slid, like, literally army crawled to an exit. He left the show because he. At Disney, it was the Monsters, Inc. Ride or show. If anyone ever done it. The laugh floor. It's not even like they're calling you up. They're just putting the camera on you.

[Abby]

That's it.

[Matt]

That's enough for himself.

[Abby]

Gosh, you could. You could not be more different than your dad.

[Matt]

I don't know how I have his DNA, honestly.

[Abby]

Yeah, because you love. You love being on stage. Like, you're a great performer. You love the art of performing.

[Matt]

Guess I'm attention hog. But no, he certainly. That's his, like, phobia. Worst fear. And so. But your dad is called up on stage. You were on a ride with your brother. Oh, yeah. Because you also got to bring your brother along, which was so fun, too. Your little brother Josh. And they called your dad up to, like, and put a Santa hat on him. And there's, like, a chair. And your dad was taking a lot of liberties.

[Abby]

Well, he, like, didn't.

[Matt]

He, like, he, like, straddled the chair.

[Abby]

Straddled the chair. He was. It was like a saloon show with all these, like, saloon girls. And then what was funny is our youngest was like, he. He is a. He. He loves the ladies. Like, he just. Anytime he.

[Matt]

Pretty girls.

[Abby]

Is that what he was saying?

[Matt]

Yeah, pretty girls.

[Abby]

Them pretty girls.

[Matt]

Squirrels. It's like squirrel.

[Abby]

But then he wanted to keep seeing the picture of him with.

[Matt]

He got a picture with all the ladies at the end. They were so sweet to him. And then afterwards, he kept wanting to, like, look at that pict. Like, no, they're pretty girls.

[Abby]

Oh, that's so funny. But I. Yeah, your dad was on.

[Matt]

Stage for, like, two minutes and, like, hammed up every second of it. You would have thought he was, like, part of the entertainment.

[Abby]

I got the. The facts right here. Over 6.5 million Christmas lights.

[Matt]

Incredible.

[Abby]

During its annual Old Time Christmas Festival.

[Matt]

The best hot chocolate, the best hot wassel.

[Abby]

Yes.

[Matt]

They have every delicious holiday treat you can think of. They have hot cocoa funnel cakes.

[Abby]

The candy cane gingerbread funnel cake was incredible. We. They gave us this passport, like, pass to. To get five different snacks.

[Matt]

It's $37. You can get five treats off of this passport.

[Abby]

And you guys, my mom, because we were getting free stuff, the. The vip, like, the. We essentially did, like, a social media trade for them. And my mom was freaking out because my mom, she's a frugal queen. Okay. We grew up, like, only shopped at Aldi for groceries. We had shopped the clearance section at Marshalls.

[Matt]

I guess you packed snacks for when you went to Silver Dollar City as a kid.

[Abby]

Oh, of course we did. Of course. And when we. When we went to Six Flags as kids, we'd pack our lunch. We would not buy the food in the park. You kidding me? No way. So my mom getting free food. Like, we had a free meal there. Like, the VIP experience included all this stuff, which actually, you can. You can pay for this too. Like, it's something that we'll probably pay for in the future because it was, like, really, really nice. And it's less expensive than the Disney World VIP experience.

[Matt]

And better. You get better.

[Abby]

I think it's better matter. I'm sorry. Sorry, Disney. But anyway, my mom was freaking out. She loved it. And then when we got these funnel cakes, I have this video of my mom. It was like, she was like three margaritas deep. She was so funny because she's walking around with all these funnel cakes and she's just the. Has this huge smile on her face because she's so happy that not only Are we in Silver Dollar City for free? But she got all this free food and she's just like, over.

[Matt]

I mean, they had. There's also a treat there. That's if anyone's had this comment down below. Apparently it's a Midwest thing. We were raised in the Midwest. We both have never had it, but it's called. It's a cinnamon roll with Ozark, is what they call it. Ozark chili on top.

[Abby]

Try that.

[Matt]

So we needed to go back next year and try. We're already planning a trip for next year and bringing all of our friends and doing it again because I'm telling you, it was the greatest experience, especially with little kids. Like, I can't recommend Silver Dollar City enough. We've loved them for years and, like, it's so special now getting to take our kids there and experience that Christmas time together. It was magical. It was joyful. It was so sweet.

[Abby]

But, yeah, it really was. It really was. Our boys, every single time we rode a ride, they want to do the ride again. I don't think there was a single ride that we did that they didn't say again afterward. And I just had to say, oh, we're doing another one. We'll come back. And we end up doing so many rides, we didn't have time to come back for a second one.

[Matt]

So I felt freezing.

[Abby]

But. But they. They loved it. I mean, they. I think we'll have to go back for sure.

[Matt]

Yeah, hopefully.

[Abby]

Hopefully a lot. I would. I would love to go a lot.

[Matt]

They have, like, face painting for kids. They have games for kids. They even have. I mean, the whole theme park was built because of this cave, which is cool. You can visit the cave and. Which we've done in the past. And that's really neat, too, especially because.

[Abby]

The cave is 67 degrees year round. So if it's frigid in the winter time and you need a break from being outside, you can just go into the cave and get a cave tour, which I was talking to our tour guide, Abby, and she does tours of the cave. And Abby, she. I think you might have overheard this. She was telling me that the cave is apparently haunted, that all the different guides have said they've heard voices down there. Apparently 200 years ago in the 1800s, there was a Girl Scout troop that got lost and they never found them or something down there. She said that she's heard her name spoken like by some unknown voice when she's turning off lights at the end. At the end of her shift. So I think it'd be cool if either, like a Paranormal Activity YouTuber filmed a vlog, like spending the night down there and seeing if you hear anything. But I also volunteered myself to do it, so I don't know who I need to talk to from Silver Dollar City to spend the night in Marble Cave. I am a skeptic. I don't believe in that stuff. I don't really believe in ghosts. So, like, I. I genuinely would love to spend the night down there. Maybe I wouldn't do alone. Or should I do it alone? Would that be. Would that be.

[Matt]

Are you proposing I go, I join you?

[Abby]

I don't know. Maybe I was gonna think of like, dming, like a Paranormal Activity YouTube account and be like, do you guys want to go make this vlog out there?

[Matt]

Matt Howard.

[Abby]

This is a random idea I had while we were touring the park. I was like, this would be a fun video to make. I don't know. I don't really believe in that stuff, but maybe. Maybe there actually is a ghost in the cave. I don't know.

[Matt]

I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little. Stitches.

[Abby]

Yeah. So anyway, it was cold, but we did the train. We did. I did a roller coaster with my brother.

[Matt]

Wait, no. You gotta talk about the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree that is the cherry on top. I. You have to go on this Christmas train. It is the sweetest thing ever. The first time I went on it made me cry.

[Abby]

Really?

[Matt]

Yes. It's beautiful there. There's like a grandpa in the woods telling the story of Christmas. Christmas. It's really, really sweet and it's great for kids.

[Abby]

Yeah. And you get to see the entire park. You get to see all the. All the 6.5 million lights.

[Matt]

It's a sing along train. So you could also sing like Rudolph, Red Nosed Reindeer and stuff on the train.

[Abby]

No, you're. You're totally right.

[Matt]

Yeah. I try not to sing along because I just ruin it for everybody else because. No, you don't. I can't. My range is getting lower, like smaller and smaller. What I speak at is what I can sing.

[Abby]

The other thing that I love about Silver Dar City, you guys, their rides are actually really good, so they're pretty crazy. So like Disney World. Sometimes I get annoyed if we go to like the, like Magic Kingdom, because Magic Kingdom doesn't really have roller coasters. I think they got the Tron ride recently. Isn't that the one?

[Matt]

They have Big Thunder, Space Mountain, but.

[Abby]

Like Space Mountain, Big Thunder, Indiana Jones is fun, but the. The rides at Silver Dollar City are like very fast. They're like 70 miles per hour.

[Matt]

Yeah. They're like, true.

[Abby]

They go upside down coasters. Yeah. So like Outlaw Run goes upside down. Time Traveler upside down while you're spinning. It's I think the tallest, largest, and fastest spinning wooden coaster in North America.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Abby]

I think that's what they had on a billboard a couple years ago. And then Powder Keg is one that like takes off. You go zero to 60, I think in like two seconds or something. I rode that as a kid and I loved it. Like, it was. It was my favorite ride as a child.

[Matt]

They really have something for everyone. There's someone for the thrill seekers, something for the. They have a little chapel that you can sing Christmas carols in that's like really like an old actual, like log cabin chapel. It's. It's great and wholesome and we love it. Can't recommend Silver Dollar City enough and also can't thank them enough for what, like, incredible memories we made with our family.

[Abby]

Yeah. If you can't tell we want to go back, hopefully they ask us back. That would be fun to go again, but get greedy. But I will say, with all that being said, something did happen on this trip.

[Matt]

Yes.

[Abby]

That was terrifying. Probably one of the scariest parenting moments we've had. Our first trip to the emergency room as a family.

[Matt]

Thank you to Noble for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. We spend a good amount of time at the airport and I can't tell you how many times we've been walking around through security and trying to get to our gate. And I have just wished I had like four more arms and hands.

[Abby]

Yeah. And that's why I'm a huge fan of this carry on. Because check it out, there's a built in cup holder, people, right here. Are you seeing this?

[Matt]

Super neat. How many times have you just been trying to juggle a hot coffee? All your technology, whatever you're carrying, and.

[Abby]

I really like that there's a charging port on top. So if your phone's dying, which literally happened to me yesterday at the airport, you just plug in your phone to your suitcase. How convenient.

[Matt]

It's built in. And check this out. They have a front laptop pocket that makes TSA a breeze because you have to take that out to go through the systems just goes boop, pop it out and then pop it back in. Super convenient. There's also lots of convenient little compartments to keep your stuff organized. It's not all just loose in the bag. And what's great is that you don't have to drag it behind you. Because it has these 360 wheels. It can ride right alongside you. You don't have to drag it. You're not tripping everyone around you.

[Abby]

Unlike most bags, Noble has no zipper at all. It locks shut with a latch system that can't be pried open. This is so cool.

[Matt]

These are locks. And then you can just undo those. Noble is the number one top rated luggage on trustpilot. And it's for a reason, you guys. Every suitcase. Suitcase comes with a hundred day money back guarantee and free three day express shipping. And did we mention that it has a lifetime warranty? It's the last suitcase you'll ever need to buy.

[Abby]

Upgrade to luggage that looks better, lasts longer and travels smarter for a limited time. Noble is having the biggest sale they've ever done. Head to nobletravel.com for up to 58% off your entire order. That's n o b l travel.com for up to 58% Off.

[Matt]

After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. Yes. So, first family trip to the er. Hopefully the last. But the reality is the doctor even told me that day, he was like, won't be the last one, mom with two boys. I was like, shut up.

[Abby]

Yeah, he actually said that.

[Matt]

He said that. So one of our toddlers took a tumble to the head and landed actually on a really sharp metal corner and, and split his head open really good.

[Abby]

Did you know that happened to one of my brothers when we were kids?

[Matt]

Really? Yeah, it happened to me.

[Abby]

He had to get a bunch of stitches on his forehead. It happened.

[Matt]

I had hot glue across my forehead.

[Abby]

I didn't know that they would hot glue your forehead. They did that to you as a kid?

[Matt]

Well, I think it's. They're more worried about cosmetics on your face rather than like, it happened to his head. So there's no, like, wait.

[Abby]

Actually, I think I can kind of see it.

[Matt]

Yeah, that's the remnants. It happened on my third birthday.

[Abby]

That's so sad, babe.

[Matt]

I remember it actually. I tripped and hit a corner, sharp corner. But it was Brick, our taller, hit his. The metal on the top of his head and got some staples. Yeah, it was so sad, you guys.

[Abby]

I've never had. Have you had staples? Because I've. Oh no. You had staples on your C section. Yeah, because I had stitches when I was five. I felt, gosh, everyone takes tumbles that I guess when you're a little kid. Yeah, but when I was five on Easter, I was, like, sprinting to go grab an egg, like, tripped so hard on this, like, concrete lip and just ate it, like, face first into this concrete structure. Blood everywhere. I guess my parents weren't too concerned because they just took me to their doctor friend's house and he stitched me up.

[Matt]

That was a frugal thing. I think that was approval.

[Abby]

Hey, I. Look, I don't blame him.

[Matt]

I said, you called him on Easter.

[Abby]

I don't blame them, you know. Oh, they took. Oh, yeah. I guess we. I guess we went to my.

[Matt]

She's like, he wasn't doing anything.

[Abby]

I know. I guess I think he took a break from the Easter Sunday celebration and went. Went and did some stitches at his house. Really not really nice family friend of my parents. But no, I think it's just, like, which I don't. Abby. I don't blame my parents for not taking me to, like, the er because it's extremely expensive. Yeah, it's extremely expensive. And I think. I think what we did. I don't. I don't regret anything that we did was our. The bill that we got ridiculously expensive.

[Matt]

Kind of just wanted to take an abundance of precaution.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Which is a privilege, too, to not have to, like, I just want to do the most safe thing for my kid. But it's. It's really unfair that, like, people, when making a decision regarding their kids, like, health or, like, if, say, they're taking care of an injury, like, have to consider the fact that these bills are staggering. And, like, I don't know, it seems like they put. They pull these numbers out of nowhere. But I'm really, ultimately, I'm really, really glad that we did just because we can and, like, just really wanted to make sure that he was taken care of. I literally could not. I felt the most like a parent, like, I've ever been, I've ever felt in that moment because I just, like, wanted to trade places with him so badly and just wanted to, like, yeah, take that on for him. But he's really such a trooper and, like, is healing so well and I'm just so, so grateful for the amazing care that we did receive because I was like, oh, my gosh, if I was just, like, on my own to deal with this, like, everyone was so compassionate and nice that, like, helped him out and so kid centered. It was nice that we could go to, like, a kid. Like, they have a pediatric unit at this er and so, like, they had toys for him and they had, like, all these. They even like, they tried to give him a binky at one point. I was like, it's just nice that they had, like, kid centered things. Obviously he didn't really want the binky, but.

[Abby]

Yeah, no, I thought. I thought that the. The police that showed up were. Were amazing. I thought that the paramedics that showed up were amazing. Did the fire department come too, or was it just paramedics?

[Matt]

They're the first responders. They were the first ones there.

[Abby]

But I thought the. There's a police officer that showed up and he was applying.

[Matt]

He wasn't a police officer.

[Abby]

Are you sure?

[Matt]

Fire off.

[Abby]

Fire Firemen don't have guns, though. This dude had like, he had his whole entire. Oh, it said. Yeah, it was like police. It was like.

[Matt]

Because the first vehicle was a fire.

[Abby]

Really?

[Matt]

Truck. Yeah, he.

[Abby]

He just was trying to help. Everyone was like doing.

[Matt]

Oh, you can say that he was like trying to stop the bleeding, but the bleeding had already stopped.

[Abby]

Well, that was the thing. So the bleed. Yeah, the bleeding had already stopped. We were trying to explain to the911.

[Matt]

The bleeding stopped relatively quickly, which was a huge relief.

[Abby]

That was a huge relief because apparently everyone that we've talked to about this, all of our friends and family, apparently, if you ever have a head injury, it blew a lot. Gushes blood, which I experienced this when I hit my head on a dumbbell at Abby's Gym last year.

[Matt]

Blood a lot.

[Abby]

There was a ton of blood. There was blood over my head. I have pictures of. There was. I was just gushing blood out of my head and that was just a concussion I didn't need. Maybe I could have gotten stitches, but I never got stitches. But, like, that was a huge relief. When I noticed the blood stopping. The. The only thing which I don't. I don't think this is anybody's fault. Like, I don't. I don't blame any. Anyone for this at all. I want to say from the time that we called 911 to the time that he was in the r was like 20 minutes. Like how.

[Matt]

More than that.

[Abby]

30 minutes.

[Matt]

Yeah, minimum.

[Abby]

And it just made me concerned. Like, again, everybody was amazing. I think it's almost more of a systematic issue of how do we make sure that when something is an emergency that people are helped as quickly as possible. Because honestly, most of the time it's a matter of speed.

[Matt]

Well, I also just think in the grand scheme of things, like, for us, since he's our son and we were so scared of the blood, it was like level one the worst thing ever. But in the grand scheme of accidents, it really wasn't that bad. But it was just because it was our son and there was so much.

[Abby]

Blood and I didn't want to take. I didn't want to take it. Like, if. Here's the reality, we could have driven just a couple minutes to the hospital ourselves, got him into the ER much quicker if we'd have just gone now. I think that would have been very risky because if you take it under your own hands, sometimes you don't know. Like, okay, how bad is this head injury? By moving him around, is it going to make it bleed more? We don't want more blood. We want the bleeding to stop. Like, there's a bunch of different things. Also, if there's ever an issue with, like, some sort of damage to the neck, like, if you pick somebody up that had a potential neck injury, from my understanding, it could potentially. It could potentially end their life or it could potentially, like, mess up their. What's it called? They make him paralyzed. Now, that's not what we.

[Matt]

Oh, my gosh.

[Abby]

We were dealing with that. That. That's more of like a car accident sort of issue. So anyway, so Abby. Abby went in the ambulance with our son. I ended up taking her other son in our car and drove us to the hospital. And I just used your, like, location. We share a location with each other, so I just, like, figured out where you were in the hospital based off your location. And then when I got to the er, I just said your name and they told me where to go.

[Matt]

He was totally calmed down by then, so that was really reassuring for me. And yeah, he just was really happy when his big brother came in with him and got to watch a show. Yeah, like, yeah, it was. Gosh, that one took a couple years off my life probably. And from now on, I will only allow our kids to wear helmets and be fully bubble wrapped out in public.

[Abby]

Dude. Like, the next. The next day, the only thing I could think about was just like, I'm so glad our kid's okay. I'm so glad our kids. Okay. I'm so. Because I was really scared there for a little bit and I didn't give myself time to process.

[Matt]

No, it wasn't. Wasn't until he went to bed that night that I started shaking.

[Abby]

Really? I didn't realize that you were shaking after you went to bed.

[Matt]

I told you I was shaking after he went to bed because it's finally like, my body was like, oh, I'm stressed. But, like, I think that like, something. That's why I said I didn't panic. Like, I, I mean, obviously there was fear, but I, like, handled the situation. I wasn't frozen. And I also didn't like, disengage. Like, I was engaged in the situation, like, helping him. I never left his side.

[Abby]

And then.

[Matt]

And like, was answering the questions, like, making sure that he got the care that he needed and an abundance of care, because why not? But then I. It wasn't until he was like, I was sure that he was okay and that he was in bed that my body started to, like, I couldn't even eat dinner. Like, you're like, thinking about food. I'm like, I'm not hungry, bro. Like, yeah, I'm like on fight or flight right now.

[Abby]

It made me feel very relieved when the doctors and nurses at the hospital were super chill. Like, oh, yeah, he's fine. Like, we ran all the tests. There's, you know, no, no fracture. We did the CT scan. Like, everything's fine.

[Matt]

Yeah, so they, they, they were reassuring for sure.

[Abby]

They were like, I was like, like trying to ask so many questions just to really get down to the nitty gritty. And they were like, yeah, he's good, he's fine.

[Matt]

No, they're really like. I was like, can you give us a little bit more instruction?

[Abby]

Seriously? I was like, I need details.

[Matt]

But for them, it wasn't that. I guess for us it was like the end of the world, but for them, and they were like, we see this every day and it's not totally uncommon, which is crazy. And I'm just so thankful for those people in emergency care because that takes a special person. That takes a very special person to remain calm under those situations and let like, also not get squeamish. Cuz heck, that was. Yeah, that was visual. That was graphic. For me, that was. I never thought I was gonna faint, but I, For a minute there, I was like, I could yak right now.

[Abby]

Yeah. Here. This was a bit of a shocker, though. Again.

[Matt]

No, this is not a shocker. We've seen this time and time again.

[Abby]

Okay, maybe, maybe it wasn't a shocker, but it's just, I think it reveals a flaw in our, in our medical system in America, which I think we're all aware of. I just think we need to keep talking about it so that something changes. But for this, this, this bill, by the way, does not include the ambulance because that's going to be another probably 800 to 2,500 bucks is what, is what I looked up Online that it estimated. But for all the medical care, which was like a CT scan, you know, staples and some medicine and, and the three hour stay in the hospital, we're looking at $66,281.87.

[Matt]

Yeah, it wasn't even quite three hours. 6,000.

[Abby]

Yeah, $6,200 and some change.

[Matt]

And we did give them our insurance.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Information too.

[Abby]

We don't have it. We have a health share.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Abby]

The healthier is different. We're hoping, fingers crossed, that the health share comes in and knocks off some of that.

[Matt]

Well, I don't know. They didn't take anything off of my miscarriage bills.

[Abby]

Really?

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Abby]

The subtotal was $9,605 and 50 cents.

[Matt]

Here's the thing. I don't believe any of that. I think that they just put those numbers there so you feel like you're getting some type of discount. I'm fully confident that they pull these numbers out of some imaginary magician's hat, because every time after something like this has happened, I get a call. I got a call the next day after this happened that was like, hey, we can maybe help you out before we send you this bill. Like, what's your income? And they like, ask questions about that and like, okay, let me just say this from a. This is coming from a place where I'm very grateful, where this bill is not going to.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Ruin us financially. I'm gonna acknowledge that. That's a. That's such a privilege. I'm so grateful for that. But I'm speaking for the fact that whenever I do anything else in my life, they don't set the price based on, like, they don't ask me a series of questions about myself before they set the price. I would like to get the price of what they. What, like the tools that they used.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

The gear that they used and the staffing. That. And like, those types of things. I'd like to get that. I think transparent pricing is really important.

[Abby]

Here's what worries me, and I love that you're saying this, Abby. So, like, we, we are fortunate that we. We've made it. We have. We have a successful podcast, we have a successful, you know, media company, whatever. And so we can afford to pay this $6,200 bill, but there's a lot of people that can't, which is, which is infuriating because basic medical care, like someone hitting their head and just needing some staples, that should be something that, like, at least is affordable for the average American. And it bothers me that like, we went into this, obviously we're not going to be like, shopping around for pricing when our kid's head is bleeding. Like, we're going to take care of it and make sure that he's safe and well taken care of. But it bothers me how, like, you have something like that happen and then you're hit with a. Yeah, a $6,281 bill.

[Matt]

No, but my point is, is, like, that's not even what it costs.

[Abby]

You're. Yeah, and you're right.

[Matt]

They're pulling that number out of thin air.

[Abby]

And capitalism has F'd up the medical industry in America.

[Matt]

I'm really glad that there's extra support for people that have, like, lower incomes. I think that's really important. But I think transparency is very important as well.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And I mean, I think for a lot of families getting hit with a bill like this because your kid has an accident like this could, especially around the holiday season, this could really ruin a lot of plans and finances and stability for people. And like, it's so, it's, it's like I'm so cautious in talking about this because of the, like, the place we are at financially. Like, this is, I'm so grateful that you can afford it, that this isn't, this isn't a big deal. Like, but like, it's just like, I think about us, like five years ago, I think about other families I'm friends with, and I'm like, this would, this would be really, really hard.

[Abby]

I don't know what we can do, honestly, you guys, to help make this better in America. So I guess that's why we're talking about it, because I think it's something that really does need to change.

[Matt]

Well, because also, let's. We can say it. We're sitting on a 32,000, $35,000 bill for the miscarriage right now.

[Abby]

Yeah. Is it 35,000?

[Matt]

Well, the first. See, that's the other thing. You don't know when they're gonna stop. We just got a bill last week about Griffin's birth, which was over three years ago for my epidural. Just got a bill for that, for the anesthesia, which was over 4,000.

[Abby]

And the insurance and the hospital are still disputing that, right?

[Matt]

No, I think that they're done. And now it's 4,000 for that. That's what I'm assuming. They make it so complicated and confusing as well, because. To their advantage. Because then you're confused and you're like, I guess this is just what I owe. But you don't even know what's going on, which isn't. I'm also like, I'm not the shy. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. But I, I have a college degree. Like, I.

[Abby]

No, guys, Abby's really freaking smart and.

[Matt]

I handling these things. And the disputes between the hospitals insurance has been very confusing. All the jargon, all of the different rules and regulations. And then HIPAA gets in the way. Only when it's to the advantage of the health care system and not in my best interest.

[Abby]

Which is ridiculous. That's ridiculous.

[Matt]

Yeah. Because HIPAA didn't protect me in other situations that would like, that would actually be at my. So I don't know, I feel like there's a lot of things. I'm like, this, this is just a total mess. But. And I know that we're not the first people to come upon this, but I just hope that we can be another voice in saying that, like, this system is really messed up.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Matt]

And also we. Okay, well, so for my miscarriage we received three bills. One of them was over $32,000.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

The others were over $1,000. And those are fine and done bills. And actually at this point they're past due because I'm just like, I can't even mentally begin to tackle those bills and look through that with everything like I'm already dealing with on my end from those days in the hospital and like from everything sorting through that. I'm like, wow, obviously people need to be compensated for the health care that they did for me that day. I'm not saying that I'm not mad at the doctors, I'm not mad at the nurses. I'm actually so incredibly grateful for them. But I also know that this isn't going in their pockets.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

So it's like, it's just so messed up up. But yeah, right now we're sitting on like, let's be honest, we, if you add it up.

[Abby]

So, so we have anesthesia for four grand. We have miscarriage, which is 35 grand.

[Matt]

Yeah.

[Abby]

And then we have this, which is six. Two grand. Sorry, six grand and six, 200. So yeah, we're looking at 45 grand. Did I do the math right? Yeah, six.

[Matt]

And guess what? We're also healthy individuals with very like, like very little pre existing conditions. It's like imagine people that find themselves with like needing long term care.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Or like forever care. Like, think about people that have like conditions that are just like, like just, they just live with this. That's the reality of their everyday life. Yeah, this is, that's crippling.

[Abby]

And I just spoke with someone today who was just revealing. Revealing to me out of just, I don't know, it was very vulnerable, vulnerable of them to share this. They're like, I can't afford medical insurance right now.

[Matt]

That's embarrassing for them. And it's like, no, that should not be embarrassing.

[Abby]

That should not be embarrassing.

[Matt]

That, that is something that's just, it just reveals like that people. Yeah, I mean it is, it's bizarre. It is bizarre.

[Abby]

How can we make a difference here? Does anybody know of like maybe an expert we could bring onto the podcast to talk about like what can be done to fix the catastrophe that is the medical system in America? I mean I personally, I really am. I love America. I love capitalism. But this is one area that I'm like, something's effed up here. Something is really messed up. Everyday people in America cannot afford basic medical care and they, and they go into debt for it. Right. That's a problem that should not be happening. And something I did realize. So I guess because we are on a health share, they did bill us for self pay. So I'm guessing this would be lower if we did have like a quote unquote official insurance because we have to send this to our health here to see what our health share will cover first. But just to give you guys an itemized breakdown of what everything is, because this is what I'm curious about. So the initial charge, it says total fees $9,605.50. So of that $9,222.50 was hospital fees and then physician fees were $383. So it seems like, like yeah, the physician. You're talking about how you're thankful for the physicians and everything. They're the, the comparison between.

[Matt]

Do I believe that that's what's actually going to them? No, they're on a salary.

[Abby]

Okay, but I'm just saying, like I don't think it's the physicians. It's not the workers that are the problem. It's the system. It's exactly. It's the big business and how they're just gouging money from everyone because they.

[Matt]

Can'T times have we been looking at a bill and basic things like ibuprofen is like $400 something crazy. Like.

[Abby]

But so anyway, that was the, that was the, the initial cost which I'm.

[Matt]

Sure because of insurance too, that they've had to be, they've had to Find all these loopholes.

[Abby]

The whole system is messy. I don't know what the solution is. But look at this though. Because we're, because they build us as self pay. Then they charge us. They give us a discount of $3200, $3323.63.

[Matt]

But I guarantee if I talk to them and I'm like, hey, this is really high. Like and if I was like smart enough I could, they could also like, I don't know.

[Abby]

It's weird too that if you call, you can negotiate the bill down. If you get the bill itemized, that usually gets the bill to go down. Oftentimes they'll even ask what how much money you make?

[Matt]

Because then every time I'm telling you, every time they've asked me that, which is stupid.

[Abby]

It shouldn't, it shouldn't matter how much money you make. They should have a fair price for everyone.

[Matt]

And you also don't know the price of things before you're getting the care.

[Abby]

When we look at the description, there's all these like codes. There's all these like things. I don't even know what they mean. But it says ED visit care level three. That's for $9,222.50. Then we have the discount that was like 3,000 and some change. And then if I go to the next page it gets weird because then they have this whole breakdown like the majority of the breakdowns they have for why things cost. What they cost is just is like stuff that's relatively inexpensive compared to the big hospital charge. So the first thing is emergency department visit low mdm. I'm guessing this is for oh, this is the physician. So that was charged for $219. Then next was CT head slash brain with it says W O contrast material. That's for $164. And then they put in a random discount at the end. They total that up. Then they put in a random discount and they say your responsibility for charges billed by Your physician is $287.25. The other weird thing is when you go over to the bill right here, when the main page that gave us what we paid after like what we owe after the discount it says fees historically vary from $6,048 to $19,722 BS. There is no way that a three hour emergency room visit with one CT scan and some some medicine to help with like the, the stapling process. There's no way that that's a nearly $20,000 bill, maybe in, in 20, 20, 100, maybe, you know, 75 years from now when inflation goes crazy. Sure. That's insane. Like, I just. I agree with you, Abby, that I think all of this is just, like, made up. I feel like they just like, make up these numbers and are like, how much money can we get for these services that we're providing?

[Matt]

I also think that this could be an issue of consent, in my opinion, because when we were in the hospital, this is in reference to the miscarriage. They're coming in constantly asking me questions like, do you want this? Do you want this? You want this? I'm making this decision completely blind, in my opinion. I don't think that this is consent because I received residual bills. So I received the big 32,000 $1, which was a bunch of other things. But then the two other bills that were both over a thousand dollars were for pain medications that they kept coming in and being like, do you want this? Which is so nice that the nurses wanted me to be comfortable. But me asking them, asking me that question and not also saying, oh, this is $1,900 for this, this, this second dose is $1,200.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

I don't think that my consent is actually full consent because I. I'm not agreeing to the full breadth of what this is going to mean for me down the line. And so would I have made decisions differently based on the price of things.

[Abby]

Potentially going back to Springfield, driving by where we used to live, and knowing how little money we had then getting a, A bill like we're getting now would have devastated us financially. Then it would have set us back so bad. And I think, I think there are ways.

[Matt]

It would have set us back for years. It would have probably made us change our family planning plan, because what have set us back? And think about people that are on a standard salary that are already. That's like, they're having all these expenses that aren't going to change, but now they have this bill that they have to chip away at. That would take years.

[Abby]

And Abby, we were really smart. Like, we, we were both honor students. We both had 4.0s. We both got scholarships for college. We both got 28s on the ACT. Like, we're not dumb people. Okay? If you look at our grades or whatever, we're not dumb people. But like, this medical stuff has been a nightmare for us to figure out when it comes, when it comes to dealing with insurance and hospitals battling it out. That's why we're on a health share, because it Got so exhausting dealing with that. We're like, maybe this health share will be easier. We have some friends that are also self employed. They're on a health share and it's not been, it's been fine for them to like, okay, that's better than this crap show we're dealing with. But yeah, I think the reason, the reason that I wanted to talk about this is just because, yeah, looking back to where we were at six years ago as newlyweds in Springfield, living in low income housing, these medical bills that we are having to pay right now would have, it would have changed the.

[Matt]

Trajectory of our life.

[Abby]

They would have, I think we would.

[Matt]

Have waited to have kids a lot longer. We would have probably not, but felt as free to have other kids. Like, it changes people's lives.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

And we deserve transparent pricing. We deserve, like, to give full consent. We deserve to, like, these things are just like, they're, they're taking it like any other realm. You look in, you're not gonna go to the grocery store and you're not gonna be like, I need bread. And they're like, okay, we'll get your bread. And then you don't know what, how much that bread's gonna cost.

[Abby]

And guess what? If the grocery store, if the grocery store got to decide what type of bread to sell you, they're gonna sell you the bread that has the highest margin for them. They're gonna sell you the product where they make the most money. And that's exactly what the hospitals are doing.

[Matt]

And the problem is too, is that like, like, sorry, you lost me.

[Abby]

No, you're good. That's what bothers me.

[Matt]

Name another. Name another industry where your goods and services. You don't know when you're agreeing to it.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

What it's gonna cost. You don't really have a choice. You don't feel like you have a choice. And whether or not you receive those goods and services and like, then you're left months and, and you also won't know for months.

[Abby]

Well, I feel like it's, it's.

[Matt]

And you have to be smart enough to be able to make sure everything is crossed. And their insurance did this and they didn't overcharge you for this. You have to double check on them. Like, that's crazy.

[Abby]

I feel like it's highway robbery. Like, I feel like it's a legal way that, that companies are able to rob the American people.

[Matt]

Here's the thing. I have no idea how to fix it. I'm not that smart. I'm not well versed in every area of this, but I just, I. I know that we're not the only family affected by this. And a lot. We know a lot of people personally that this is, like, affecting their daily life in a big way. And, like, because we have this audience, like, it has blessed us in so many ways where this is not detrimental to our family.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But also it means that we have a lot of ears listening to us, and maybe the right ear can listen that can just be. Or just be another voice.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

That can just say, like, hey, this is an area where there needs to be change. And other countries have figured it out too.

[Abby]

Well, our editor for the podcast, Danilo, he laughs when we talk about this stuff. Stuff to. To our podcast editor, because, yeah, he lives in Australia, and there they have free medical care.

[Matt]

I'm really grateful that we have. I. I think that we have great medical care. I care a lot about, like, the people that decide to, like, work on. In their. In the nights and on holidays and in the evenings and, like, residency. Our friends going through residence is brutal. It's not them. And I'm so thankful for the healthcare workers. It's not healthcare workers. It's this larger, ominous, big industry, big farm. I don't know what it is, but there's just like, these other. These other factors at play that are just, like, have purposely, like, are faceless and, like, just changing the realities for people. And I also just want to circle back and just make sure we drive home the point that the most important thing was that our son was taken care of. And thank God it was relatively minor in the grand scheme of things. Definitely major in my heart, like, oh, my gosh, so scary. And it just hurt my heart so much that he was in pain and he was scared, but literally, he was so tough.

[Abby]

Like, the next.

[Matt]

Yeah. Two hours later, he was actually, like.

[Abby]

No, actually, that night. That night he was back to normal, practically. It was crazy. He's so resilient. Kids are so tough.

[Matt]

Like, it did not even. It doesn't even face him. We just keep telling him, like, you're so tough. He's like, yeah, he, like, feels really proud of himself, but also like, like, the b. The main thing is that I'm so glad we got good care and that he's taken care of and that we're. Everything is fine. And also, like, even to my miscarriage, I feel like I had really good medical care.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

But this is also, like, a dark side of it that h. Like, sneaks up and I'll Never Forget, like, literally 10 days after we delivered our daughter, text in my phone, like, oh, you owe $35,000. And I know that I'm not the only person that has received a bill after something like that. A bill like that after something like that. And the fact of the matter is, a lot of people are going to the hospital for reasons that they did not choose accidents or, like, just really unfortunate health circumstances. And this is just the horrible cherry on top of it all is that it's also financially, like, can be.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Ruin for people.

[Abby]

So I'm hoping, fingers crossed, that the health share pulls through, that we can significantly reduce all these medical bills that we owe. Because I want to say the ones.

[Matt]

That we've recently been covering. My miscarriage. Yeah.

[Abby]

Why?

[Matt]

Something about not covering unfair pricing. So. Yeah.

[Abby]

What?

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Abby]

How do you know? Did you already talk to the health share?

[Matt]

I've kind of avoided it.

[Abby]

Is it just giving you a lot of stress?

[Matt]

Yeah. And I also just, like, don't want to talk about it.

[Abby]

Let me. Let me talk to them. Or I guess you'll just have to.

[Matt]

That's a great instance where HIPAA does not help me out.

[Abby]

That's what sucks. So the reason Abby deals with a lot of our health, Health insurance, health share stuff is because I would hit roadblock after roadblock when I was trying to handle this in the past because they won't talk to me. They're like, we need. We need your wife on the phone. Because I was talking about her, like, the pregnancy appointments. It was all stuff that had to do with Abby. So they wouldn't have. Wouldn't. They wouldn't let me handle it. So hopefully. Hopefully you can just give me. Give verbal approval over the phone, and then I can handle it.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

It's just.

[Matt]

It's another layer of stress and sadness and fear to add. And I think that's not isolated to miscarriage. That's a lot of health circumstances that people find them in. They're like, I'm already stressed about my health and, like, what this could mean for my future. And just add this layer of finances. Massive financial. Un. Un. What's the word?

[Abby]

I don't know what you're saying.

[Matt]

Like, a disproportionate financial burden, too. Like, that's crazy. Yeah.

[Abby]

That's not fair. Well, guys, thank you for listening in. If you can think of anything productive that we can do on this show or on our platforms to help make a difference in the unfair medical system that we have in America, please let us know. I want to See, change in this. I. It bothers me that there's. There's people that, like, are just swimming in medical debt, and that's just wrong, in my opinion. I love America. I love our country. I just think that in the wealthiest country in the world, one of the wealthiest countries in the world, that there's. There's no reason we can't have some basic medical needs that are just, like, covered through our tax dollars or affordable.

[Matt]

Just make it affordable.

[Abby]

Maybe. Yeah. How about we start there?

[Matt]

How about we just start making it affordable?

[Abby]

Maybe. Yeah, maybe before jump into the free healthcare thing, we just go to like, hey, let's make this afford.

[Matt]

Earlier in this podcast, I was like, don't talk about it unless you don't know about it.

[Abby]

But here we are.

[Matt]

Here I am. I don't know, but I actually do kind of know just from, like, our own personal experience being on this receiving end of things.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Matt]

Anyway, I don't know if they could come up with a good reason why they need $35,000. I would like to know that.

[Abby]

Yeah. Anyway, all right, guys, we love you. We. We are gonna go hug our sweet pretzel dog and play with our kids. So. Yeah, thanks for being here and we'll see you in another episode of Unplanned. Thanks, guys.

[Listener/Caller]

Get clarity on what's happening in women's sports with She's Not Next, She's now from the Gist. It's a new podcast series from the Gist of It that breaks down new and emerging women's leagues, understand what's changing, what's launching, and what it all means. With so many leaks popping up, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. Each episode explains the moving parts clearly without assuming insider knowledge. Listen to She's Not Next, She's now from the Gist of it, where you get your podcast that She's Not Next. She's now from the Gist of It.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

If you're feeling exhausted, puffy, anxious, foggy, gaining weight, or just not like yourself, you're not imagining it. Women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s are experiencing massive hormonal shifts, and no one is explaining what's actually happening. I'm Katie Whelan, co founder of joy. I built JOY because I lived this. The fatigue, the mood swings, the weight changes, the confusion. Your symptoms are biological, not personal, and AI generated lab reports won't fix them. Every Joy lab includes a visit with a licensed clinician who specializes in women's hormones and connects every biomarker to how you feel. Energy metabolism, mood, sleep, skin weight, everything. Then we personalize real solutions, hormone therapy, peptide therapy, supplements and lifestyle protocols. Get [e-mail] today. This month, new customers get 50% off labs and you can add our estrogen face cream for just $1 with clinician approval. Use promo code podcast at joyamblokes.

[Matt]

Com.