The Viall Files, Episode E1100 - Ask Nick: "He's Dumping Me Because I Got The Job"

Date: March 30, 2026
Host: Nick Viall
Co-hosts/Contributors: Natalie Joy, Nicole
Theme: Navigating Complicated Breakups, Personal Growth, and Friendship Drama

Episode Overview

In this episode of "Ask Nick," Nick Viall and his co-hosts take on the emotional complexities of breakups, life transitions, and friendship conflicts. With three main callers—Hannah, Nicole, and Rose—the panel offers heartfelt insight and practical advice on moving through loss, standing up for oneself, and embracing the unknown. The stories spotlight themes of self-worth, moving forward after heartbreak, and balancing ambition with relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Hannah: Processing a Situationship Breakup, Divorce, and Grief

Timestamps: 02:15–29:27

• Topic: Why does a brief situationship hurt more than leaving a long-term marriage?
• Hannah (36) shares her recent separation from her husband after eight years and her father’s passing, then dives into the emotional aftermath of a short, passionate rebound that ended abruptly.
• Nick’s Analysis:
  • The divorce didn’t hurt as much because Hannah initiated it and had felt relieved when it ended. Most of her struggle was already processed over several years of staying in a chaotic relationship.
  • The “situationship” hurt more because it was filled with hope, novelty, and the unknown—what could have been, rather than what actually was.
  • Nick (07:59): “It was just like a weight off my shoulders. And it was like, I’m free. … It was the best day of my life when I dropped her off.”
  • The hope for the future with this new person was ripped away without closure, which is more jarring than a long-decided ending.
  • Hannah’s ego and optimism were bruised: “I was so happy and excited for the first time in a long time, too. And then it just went away…” (Hannah, 10:05)
• Advice:
  • Give yourself grace—strong feelings after a short relationship are normal, particularly during times of major transition.
  • Don’t ruminate or assign meaning to “why it ended” beyond the fact that sometimes people just aren’t a fit.
  • Remind yourself what you gained: “Everything you signed up for when you chose to leave that marriage is still on the table.” (Nick, 15:03)
  • Focus on friends, kids, and new beginnings rather than immediately prioritizing dating.
  • Use therapy to move forward, not continuously rehash past hurts.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Nick (19:47): “I look at it for what it was. A fun little rebound, a fun little moment.”
  • Nick (27:14): “It’s a dangerous game if we want to make progress emotionally and move on.”

2. Nicole: Is It Wrong to Date a Guy My Ex-Best Friend Dated?

Timestamps: 33:06–72:22

• Topic: Nicole (30) seeks outside validation after an ex-best friend calls her character into question because Nicole is now dating a man that her friend went on two dates with—three years ago.
• Backstory:
  • Nicole and her friend had a falling out after a tense bridesmaid’s dinner where Nicole, once promised a maid of honor spot, was demoted without warning, felt blindsided, and tried to address the issue privately.
  • The friend publicly called out Nicole, and the friendship ended with a barrage of accusatory texts.
  • Months later, Nicole begins dating the guy, and the ex-friend reacts strongly (“That’s just desperate to me”).
• Nick’s Analysis:
  • The gripe is not about the guy, but about the friend’s need for control and to remain the center of attention.
  • Nick (52:06): “As you reflect back, as you said, this is someone who, when you think about it, has had a lot of falling outs with other friends, maybe not you…”
  • Nicole is not in the wrong, especially given the ex-friend’s reactionary and self-centered patterns.
  • Relationships from high school often survive on history alone—not on current compatibility or mutual support.
  • Nicole’s concern about her own character stems from residual hurt and the abrupt loss of a long-term friendship, not from any actual breach of “girl code.”
• Advice:
  • Don’t let someone’s cruel criticism make you doubt your integrity when mutual friends—and your own reflection—tell you otherwise.
  • Mourn the old friendship if you must, but accept that it may be healthier to move on.
  • If the friend ever reaches out again, it’s okay to stand firm and defend your choices.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Nick (56:27): “The most selfish people in the world are the ones who are guilty of accusing other people of being selfish, right?”
  • Nick (70:00): “She has a little bit of a bruised ego… She clearly prioritizes her feelings above anyone else's.”

3. Rose: Is It Wrong to Choose a Dream Job Over Love?

Timestamps: 75:10–113:59

• Topic: Rose (28) broke up with her boyfriend after two years because he refused to even try long distance when she got a dream job in Miami. She wonders if she’s making a mistake giving up “the one.”
• Backstory:
  • Rose was openly communicative, confirming with her boyfriend that the move could work and would be temporary.
  • Months later, he abruptly reverses course, says he can’t do long distance, and drops their relationship (“I don’t want to do long distance for anyone”).
  • He offers no willingness to compromise, and even after Rose asks if he’d consider couples therapy, he declines.
  • Their breakup is finalized before she even departs for Miami, leaving Rose feeling guilty and questioning if she’s selfish for pursuing her career.
• Nick’s Analysis:
  • He likely used Rose's great opportunity as an excuse to exit a relationship that wasn’t fully working for him.
  • Nick (93:14): “Forget he ever said that. He didn’t mean it...that was something he said to put the blame on you…”
  • Truly supportive partners find joy in each other’s dreams and show willingness to collaborate during transitional periods.
  • Nick (104:34): “There are seasons…where it’s my time to show up for you because you’ve shown up for me…in every relationship and certainly every marriage.”
  • Rose’s actions are justified; she’s not giving up “the one”—this relationship wouldn’t have supported her growth or ambitions.
• Advice:
  • Don’t wait or hold out hope for someone who isn’t willing to support or fight for the relationship.
  • Embrace the move as a fresh opportunity, not something to feel guilty about.
  • If the ex ever returns, only consider reconciliation if he is willing to make meaningful changes and offer real support.
  • Nick (113:24): “He’s on his own team—so if he ever wants to be on the team together, he’s gonna have to be the one to put that effort in because…now it’s like—I’m moving forward.”
• Memorable Quotes:
  • Nick (109:13): “You’ve done everything you could…so, the ball’s in his court, and if he wants to man up and face his fears and figure his shit out, he can.”
  • Rose (109:30): “If he wants to figure it out, like, that’s great. But if not, I’m going to Miami. I’m gonna embrace this opportunity and just not look back.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 07:59 | Nick | "It was just like a weight off my shoulders. And it was like, I’m free." | | 10:05 | Hannah | "I was so happy and excited for the first time in a long time, too. And then it just went away..." | | 19:47 | Nick | "I look at it for what it was. A fun little rebound, a fun little moment." | | 27:14 | Nick | "It’s a dangerous game if we want to make progress emotionally and move on." | | 52:06 | Nick | "As you reflect back...this is someone who...has had a lot of falling outs with other friends, maybe not you..." | | 56:27 | Nick | "The most selfish people in the world are the ones who are guilty of accusing other people of being selfish..." | | 70:00 | Nick | "She has a little bit of a bruised ego… She clearly prioritizes her feelings above anyone else's." | | 93:14 | Nick | "Forget he ever said that. He didn’t mean it...that was something he said to put the blame on you..." | | 104:34 | Nick | "There are seasons…where it’s my time to show up for you because you’ve shown up for me…in every relationship and certainly every marriage." | | 109:13 | Nick | "You’ve done everything you could…so, the ball’s in his court, and if he wants to man up and face his fears and figure his shit out, he can." | | 113:24 | Nick | "He’s on his own team—so if he ever wants to be on the team together, he’s gonna have to be the one to put that effort in because…now it’s like—I’m moving forward." |

Episode Structure & Section Timestamps

• [02:15–29:27] – Caller #1: Hannah – Why am I more hurt after a situationship than my divorce?
• [33:06–72:22] – Caller #2: Nicole – Friendship fallout and "girl code"
• [75:10–113:59] – Caller #3: Rose – Picking dream job over relationship

Takeaways for Listeners

• It’s normal to grieve different types of loss in different ways.
• Hope and possibility are sometimes more painful to lose than established realities.
• Standing up for yourself in friendships and relationships is hard but often necessary for growth.
• Pursuing your goals and dreams does not make you selfish, especially if your partner can’t meet you with the same effort.

Listeners will gain encouragement to honor their feelings, trust their choices, and move forward, even when closures aren’t perfect, and support isn’t mutual.

[End of Summary]