
Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper edition. You know them, you like them, and after this interview, you’ll love them. Jessie James and Eric Decker join the show for a deep dive into their relationship, parenting, having children in...
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Nick Wright
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Jesse James Decker
You're crazy.
Eric Decker
What's that book?
Co-Host
Don't text your ex.
Jesse James Decker
Happy birthday?
Eric Decker
No.
Jesse James Decker
Written by yours truly. Oh, wow.
Eric Decker
Copy that.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah. Yeah.
Nick Wright
You texting your exes a lot?
Eric Decker
But I don't have anything.
Co-Host
Do you even have any?
Eric Decker
I feel like I've been doing decades. He really does it well.
Nick Wright
Jesse, Eric, welcome to the show. Yeah, it's great to have you guys. Yeah, I'm excited to have you both. Ever since I had this show, certainly I've known about you both as a couple, as individuals. I'm a huge football fan, so certainly I followed your career. Eric and Jesse, obviously, as a member of pop culture, certainly met many of our Audience members are huge fans of you guys, and so we're just excited to have you, you know, just kind of get to know you guys a little bit better. You guys were on special Forces as a couple.
Jesse James Decker
Yes.
Nick Wright
And obviously, like with this show, Natalie and I, you know, I work with my wife. I brought her onto the show once we got together. I'm always just like excited and interested to talk to, like, couples like you who, you know, publicly facing, you know, present such a united front. You know, you guys present as a team and seemingly work as a team. And I think, especially nowadays, I think it's just really important to, to highlight, you know, all the people, you know, who make that effort in their relationship, knowing just how much. I don't know much about your guys relationship, what you guys do, you know, behind closed doors, but I do know that if you guys are making it work, you guys bust your ass to make your relationship work, because I feel like that's how that's what it takes. And so, yeah, just excited to have you guys and just get to get. Have my audience get to know you guys a little bit better, but so welcome.
Co-Host
Thank you.
Jesse James Decker
I like that intro. It was so deep to begin with.
Nick Wright
It's called going deeper.
Jesse James Decker
I love it.
Eric Decker
When you said behind closed doors, I was thinking just making babies.
Jesse James Decker
You did? You would go there. You would go there.
Nick Wright
Well, you know.
Eric Decker
You know, that's part of it.
Co-Host
That is part of it.
Nick Wright
I mean, I was thinking about that last night, like, thinking about you guys. You know, I'm a new father. I'm 44, Rivers, only 19 months. I've always wanted to be a dad my whole life, but obviously it wasn't until I got married, met Natalie, that it felt like the right time. I got to say, you know, as someone who's always wanted to be a dad, what being a dad meant to me is this like. Or being a husband is. Is having something in your life that quite honestly, like, you love more than yourself. Like, you know, there's that selfless energy where you wake up and, you know, you wake up with a purpose outside of, like, what do I need to do for me today? You know, like, what's going to make me happy today? And I don't think I've ever been happier in my life than having something to wake up that has nothing to do with my immediate and individual needs. For me, being a father and being a husband has truly, like, been one of the most rewarding things for that reason, where it's just like, yeah, you have a purpose. In life. And I don't know if that's how you. If that resonates with you guys, but it's definitely been something for me that.
Eric Decker
I've really enjoyed 100% now, I think until you become a parent, you don't realize how it's the greatest, you know, role in your life, and you have to become completely unselfish because, you know, as a little baby, they need so much of you. But it is so fulfilling. Like, it's the hardest thing. Let's not get that twisted. It's extremely hard, especially as you have more kids and just the responsibility. But it kind of validates purpose in life. You know, it kind of minimizes everything else. So, for me, I was playing when we had our first couple of kids, and, you know, I think I just struggled with how do I give effort to football when I feel like my duty as a husband and as a father is more important? So, you know, I started to realize I was teetering on what energy I was giving to my career, and now I get to be home with the kids a lot more. And how did you balance that? It was tough, because you really did struggle with that.
Jesse James Decker
I remembered I'd never seen him as a father. I knew he was a great husband, and he was a great partner. You could tell he battled it a lot playing football. He would truly come home after playing a football game and want to bathe the kids and put them to bed. And instead of sitting in a chair, which he would have been totally allowed to do, 100%, he would have absolutely been allowed to do that. Come home, put your feet up in a la Z, boy, ice your body. I'll bring you some dinner. And, like, you worked hard today, but that wasn't him. He'd be limping upstairs on his knees, bathing the kids, because it just meant that much to him. And I could tell he battled that internally because he is such an amazing dad. He didn't love some of the. The long hours or training camp of being away from the kids for weeks, and, like, you know, it was just a lot of moments like that. You could tell it was an internal struggle for him.
Co-Host
And y' all were young. I feel like you just posted your ages when you had all your babies. How old were y' all when you had your first daughter?
Jesse James Decker
25. About to be 26. Yeah, because we got married when I was 25. You were 26, and we had Vivian March, and I was 26 in April.
Nick Wright
How'd you guys meet?
Jesse James Decker
Three mutual friends. Yeah, it was like Nothing crazy. He was in his. He was finishing up his rookie year in the NFL, and I was on tour. I.
Eric Decker
And in that phase of life, we were like, we're going to be single.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Eric Decker
Forever.
Jesse James Decker
Like, this is.
Eric Decker
Enjoy this part of our life.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah. I'd. I'd gotten out of some, like, a relationship, and he had gotten out of, like, childhood relationship, like a high school sweetheart. And we both just were like, okay, now we're both going to be single and just, like, live it up. And I'd, like, made that vow. I feel like he had made that vow. And within days of making that vow, internally, we, like, were introduced to each other. He was training in Arizona. I was living in Nashville. And this person, her name is Liana, set us up. She was hanging out with one of his buddies. She knew me, knew I was newly single. And we ended up talking on the phone and I chatting for, like a month. And it was like, almost like love is blind, where you just get to know each other. The late night talks, hours and hours. Like, we just couldn't get enough of each other.
Nick Wright
Yeah. We were like, Natalie lived in Savannah when we met. I've always enjoyed that aspect when I was dating of actually meeting someone almost who doesn't live by you, you know? Cause it's so easy, especially nowadays, to just come over, you start making out, whatever.
Jesse James Decker
Oh, we for sure would have been there.
Nick Wright
The physical chemistry is just like. But now you. Yeah. You're forced to talk and you. To know each other builds that excitement and tension. We had a very similar vibe.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah. I'm grateful for that time frame because we would have been the same. I honestly feel like I would not have been able to control myself.
Co-Host
Do y' all remember the first time you met in person?
Jesse James Decker
I'm glad. That was the question I thought you were gonna ask. Do you remember the first time you. Did you also remember the first time that you met? Of course I do. Of course I do. I could never.
Eric Decker
Sex therapy.
Jesse James Decker
Never forget that. What was the question?
Eric Decker
We went back. Uh, we met. She didn't pick me up from the airport, first of all. I scheduled a flight, and I'm like, Midwest. So I'm super frugal. She made me change my.
Jesse James Decker
Don't blame your frugal being from the Midwest.
Eric Decker
She's already making me change my flight back.
Jesse James Decker
And I go, I was in the studio. You're in the hole already.
Eric Decker
I fly in. She has her friend pick me up because she's at the studio. And we. We drive to Green Hills and Kalamata's. Was the first place we, we met. And she came out the door. I'm like, oh, my gosh, she's so tiny.
Jesse James Decker
I thought was, he's so big.
Eric Decker
But she was tiny. And obviously you were sweating.
Jesse James Decker
You were sweating. You were nervous.
Eric Decker
I was sweating the whole first week.
Jesse James Decker
You were. He was so nervous. I don't know why. I feel like I could make you feel warm and fuzzy, but he was definitely like.
Co-Host
Was it like, awkward or was it like you'd be. It was awkward.
Jesse James Decker
It was for sure awkward because we'd been talking for, you know, for so long. But I just, I don't know. We just had this thing immediately. We had this thing immediately. And I think that we both felt it. I was a little bit more guarded than he was. I mean, after that weekend, he left. And I remember him sending me texts, being like, I'm deleting every girl out of my phone now. I want to see where this can go. Like, what do you think? And I remember writing him back saying, like, I don't know, I just met you. I need to think on that.
Nick Wright
Love.
Eric Decker
She played hard to get.
Nick Wright
I love both those responses because, I mean, what, what made you send that? I'm curious, because what's the cliche? Like, athlete, You're a good looking guy just making money. You're in the NFL. I'm assuming you had a lot of women in your DMs. You had a lot. You. I'm sure it was not hard to meet women. And I think a lot of men who aren't even professional athletes will certainly do whatever they can to keep the roster as long as possible and prolong it and play the whole, like, well.
Podcast Host
Hey, I like you, but, like, let's.
Nick Wright
See where it goes. And I just, I just want a date.
Podcast Host
But you went full court press.
Nick Wright
Is that something that was just always a part of you or did that speak to, like, your interest in Jesse or both?
Eric Decker
I think, you know, I'm a relationship guy overall, but I try to play. Like, you know, I still want to go on weekend trips with my buddies and try to play it cool, but she had me kind of chasing. And I think I just connected so deeply with her, which I haven't had ever to that point in my life. You know, no relationship was even near what we had. And so I would think I was just infatuated with that and feeling heard and feeling like I trusted her already. Like, I went to her over my parents to tell her things. And so I was like, this is crazy that I Know her for five weeks and like, I'm just, you know, obsessed in a sense. So I think she just. Just brought it and she just has it. But also I feel like when, you know, you know, and I just had that feeling that I knew because I was trying to resist it and fight it because I wanted to, you know, be single and young and, you know, had a little. Little money, finally could do my thing. But it was like, you know, I was just obsessed.
Co-Host
And did you know Jesse, like, in your head, oh, I'm gonna make him chase? Or were you just kind of like, I don't know. I'm. I'm in music. I'm touring right now. Like, this isn't. This is fun.
Jesse James Decker
But it wasn't like a little game at all. In my mind. I think that to Nick's point, I knew he was this really gorgeous, brand new bronco GQ guy. I knew women were chasing him. And I just. I don't know, I. I felt like, if you want it, come get it. I'm not gonna work for this. I also, he chased really hard, and I had just gotten out of a relationship where someone all. They had chased me really hard too. And it just overwhelmed me. I. I'm very independent and I don. Feel smothered. And so I was nervous that he was coming on too strong initially. And so there was a lot of things. It was like, he's coming on too strong. I'm sure women are just like dropping their pants for him. Like, I just, I just need to take a beat on this. And I was just really focused on my stuff. But I also think I knew there was something with him. And so I just didn't want to let my heart dive into soon because I. I was just kind of feeling it out, but I didn't want to get hurt because I knew I felt something too.
Nick Wright
Like in 2025 terms, like, you would been like, is he love bombing me? You know? Yeah, like, I don't know, too fast and things like that. But like, I'm glad to hear this story because, yes, there's a lot of sloppy men out there or people who get caught up in their feelings and maybe get a little careless.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Nick Wright
But I. I do think we need to hear stuff like this where you just, like, you know, it's.
Podcast Host
It's okay to go for what you like.
Nick Wright
You know, it's okay to put yourself out there and be vulnerable. And, you know, maybe there was a world where you guys didn't end up together or your feelings changed, you know, like that. That can be okay. You know, at the risk of, like, playing it cool for so long that you don't just, like, put yourself out there and say, like, I really like you, and I want to see where this goes. And I don't want to mess with all these people who, honestly, like, I don't know. I'm not that interested in. It's just a good time. But there's. There's something meaningful here. I feel like we need to hear more of that stuff.
Jesse James Decker
He definitely courted me. And knowing Eric now, and we've been together for 15 years now, Eric is very cautious about anything he does, anything he says, anything that he commits to, he's cautious because he. He doesn't like to be the guy that says he's going to do something, then doesn't do it, or he's just a hesitant person because he likes to think everything through. So knowing Eric now, I can see why it was so out of character for him to jump in as deep as he did with me. That's so not like you now, sitting here thinking about. But.
Co-Host
And then how long were y' all dating before you proposed?
Eric Decker
After the first trip to Nashville, she came to Minnesota to visit. Well, Iowa to visit her sister. And I drove her down. She met my family. I went down to meet her family. So three months after we met, I'm like, you're coming to Denver?
Jesse James Decker
Well, he didn't want me moving to la.
Eric Decker
She was moving to la.
Jesse James Decker
I was moving to la. One of my best friends was getting a divorce, and I knew she needed me, and I was just. I needed a break from Nashville. I had just lost my record deal, and I just needed, like, a change of scenery, and I wanted to go out there to write with some of the pop writers that I loved so much. And so I literally was at the end of my lease and I was moving. And he was like, I will lose you out there. And he just. He wouldn't let me. He's like, you're moving with me to Denver. And that was a big risk for me because I had nothing in Denver except for obviously the future love of my life, but no work. I'm like, what am I doing? But my heart just told me to do it. So after three months, I moved in with this guy. There you go. And then he proposed to me that following March.
Co-Host
How did he propose?
Jesse James Decker
In Vegas at the ACM Awards.
Eric Decker
So we were out there for the ACMs, but it was our year anniversary of meeting.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Eric Decker
And so breakfast in bed, coffee in Bed was kind of our thing.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Eric Decker
And so I went to, like, the manager. I was like, listen, bring it up with our coffee and breakfast. So they bring the ring. The ring? Yeah, with it. So she. When she opened it for her coffee or for breakfast, it was the ring. Well, next morning, fast forward, she pulls off the top, no ring. I'm freaking out. I'm like, where is it? You know? So I'm calling. She's like, what's wrong with you?
Jesse James Decker
He's like, panicked. I'm like, why is it wrong with corn cakes? Pretty much. That's. I'm like, what?
Nick Wright
Blueberries?
Jesse James Decker
This is fine. This is good.
Eric Decker
Talking to the lady, she's like, oh, are you ready for it? Like, this is a blowing assignment.
Jesse James Decker
You're like your own speaker.
Eric Decker
Blown assignments.
Co-Host
Yeah.
Eric Decker
It was supposed to be brought up with the breakfast.
Jesse James Decker
So the balance.
Eric Decker
Yeah. So they bring waters up. Like, here we go. I'm like, too late. She's like, what is it? I'm like, oh, it's. Come get it.
Jesse James Decker
It's the waters.
Eric Decker
Water is just totally blown. And, you know, it didn't go as smooth, but it was. It was thoughtful.
Jesse James Decker
It was very us. It's just us. This is how we roll.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Co-Host
And then y' all just went to the. Was the ACMS before or after that?
Eric Decker
Like, did y' all go to the Engaged?
Jesse James Decker
And then we got married the following June. June 22nd.
Eric Decker
Yep.
Jesse James Decker
And then got pregnant with Vivi and found out I was pregnant July 22.
Nick Wright
And was that something where you got, like. For us, we were.
Co-Host
We got engaged, and then it was like, all right, you know, whatever.
Nick Wright
It was kind of like, I'm a little older than Natalie, and I just.
Co-Host
Nick had never had a pregnancy scare.
Jesse James Decker
She was like, doesn't even work. I don't know.
Nick Wright
We were just kind of getting a little, like, I don't know, feeling good about us, I suppose, in a way where it was like, yeah, it. Listen.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Nick Wright
You know, you hear so many stories about people having a hard time conceiving and things like that. I'm like, I don't know. What if I. What if I can't? You know?
Eric Decker
First time, boom.
Jesse James Decker
Wow.
Nick Wright
Same Z. Yeah.
Eric Decker
The thing is, she was kind of challenging my swimmers, too. She's like, we've been together long enough. Like, you think, careful, you might need to go get checked out.
Jesse James Decker
I'm like, literally, I said that to him, and I was like, honestly, when we want to start trying, you should go get checked. We have not been careful for, you know, a while, so you're like, why.
Co-Host
Haven'T I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got.
Nick Wright
You're like, bet.
Jesse James Decker
You know, yeah, pretty much.
Eric Decker
I want to wait about a year.
Co-Host
Has it been easy to get pregnant for y'?
Jesse James Decker
All?
Co-Host
Have you struggled at all with any issues getting pregnant, or has it been pretty smooth sailing?
Jesse James Decker
We've been very blessed and fortunate. It's been, it's been easy. It's been every. Every time we wanted, we. We didn't plan three out of the four, so it's just kind of happened. And then with Forest, we did plan. And I remember coming out that day, I'm very in tune with my body. And I was like, listen, I'm ovulating today. If you want a third baby, today's your day. And then we got pregnant with four son. Wow. But we've been very fortunate, very blessed because, listen, I've had, I have best friends. My sister had some trouble as well, and, I mean, she, she couldn't get pregnant for three years. She ended up adopting, you know, and, and so I, I, I know what a blessing it is that we've been able to conceive, and I know it's. It's been harder than ever, this generation, you know, And I feel for him because when you want to be a mother, it's just like, you just mother.
Co-Host
You know what I mean?
Jesse James Decker
You know? Yeah.
Co-Host
Or do you think y' all are done?
Eric Decker
The shop is closed.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Eric Decker
So we are good with three because the ages of our kids are 11, 10, 7. And then we got 19 months as well. So I had my surgery planned. I got a little nervous. I didn't go. And then boom. Number four.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah, he doesn't do well with blood or fluids or anything, so.
Nick Wright
No.
Jesse James Decker
He was afraid of going to this appointment, but I ended up going to Italy with my mom. I took her to Sicily, and we went and visited family. It was just this amazing trip, but I was gone 10 days too many. And the day I came back and.
Co-Host
You were oculated and we got pregnant.
Jesse James Decker
I know. And I knew it, too. I knew it. I came after that. I came out of the bathroom and I was like, I'm pretty sure he pounced. I'm pretty sure you just impregnated me. You knew and I knew it.
Eric Decker
What a blessing, though.
Jesse James Decker
It was a blessing. Oh, my God. I can't even imagine life without death.
Nick Wright
With three girls and a boy.
Jesse James Decker
Three boys and a girl.
Nick Wright
Three boys and a girl.
Jesse James Decker
Oh, yeah. Wow.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Jesse James Decker
Lots of boys.
Eric Decker
Our girls yell this, which works out because I feel like they Set the tone.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah, she does. That's the tone. She's in charge, really. She's the boss lady, for sure.
Co-Host
How do. Y' all were kind of obviously in this? Like, you know, we. We showed river all over social media, and then it kind of got to a point where we would go to the park, and they would be like, oh, my God. I saw river going down the slide, and I, like, knew y' all had to be here, or we'd be in the airport, and people would be like, oh, my gosh. I recognize river before I even saw you.
Jesse James Decker
I've had that.
Co-Host
And so it kind of got a little like, oh, this is weird. So we've only started showing, like, the back of her head. It's obviously such a hard place to navigate because you want to share, you know, you're proud of your kids. You want to share moments. You, like, want to brag on them. You want to show, like, what they're doing and how cute they are. How did y' all kind of manage that?
Jesse James Decker
You know, I feel like early on, we did show them, and then I went through a phase of not showing them much at all. And it was after, I think we got accused of photoshopping abs on our children. I was like, what?
Nick Wright
No, for sure. Yeah.
Jesse James Decker
We got. Seriously. It ended up, like, on the View and gma. I mean, it was all over the place. It was just a photo of my kids on vacation, and they accused us of painting on abs.
Nick Wright
I'm sorry.
Jesse James Decker
My kids fit. What is it about they're fit? I don't know. Just look at her. Look at the daddy. Like, he's so athletic. I don't know what you want to say. I feed him. I feed them good. They work. They're running drills, you know, they work. They're athletic. Like, I don't. Anyway, so after that, we took a beat, and then I kind of got back into the phase of, like, I'm not gonna let these people dictate how I want to live my life. And people are always going to have something to say. It's just part of it. I feel like this is just the world we're living in. This is the. This is the generation of the social media. You've got to put out what's comfortable to you, not put out what's comfortable to you. I have the same thing happen. People come up and they notice Vivi. Now Vivi gets recognized all the time. And I just feel like, as a parent, it's gonna happen eventually, you know, and you've gotta do it on your own time. I'm very protective of them. I'm very careful, but I guess I almost look at it. If I wasn't in the position I am, would I share them? Yes. I have friends that are not in the public eye, and they're proud of their kids and they show them. So I kind of go into it where it's like, you know what? I'm gonna want to feel as normal as I can, and if I want to share my kids, I'm gonna share my kids, but in a safe way. Like, I blur out their school, I blur out their jersey. There's things where I try to be protective of them, but this is just the life that they live in. And I think we've done a really good job keeping them as normal as possible.
Eric Decker
You build a community, and you kind of, you know, fortunately, I guess, in a bubble where you feel safe with people that aren't in the public eye as a career, but do something, you know, tremendous, but just. It gives you that sense of, like, community, connection and community, for sure. That doesn't make you feel like you're sticking out, like, a sore thumb.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah. And I do feel like there's moments where I actually appreciate the mom community. I've learned so much from them on social media. I remember the first time one of the moms teaching me how to cut grapes when I first had vivi, because I wasn't cutting the grapes properly or. My kids have struggled with eczema. Denver has severe eczema. And all the information I was giving, it just. It feels like a community of women, like, wanting to help me. And it's just. It's a nice feeling to have. So there's positives. There is. There's also a lot of crazies, so you've got to filter that out.
Co-Host
Yeah, there's definitely positives. I find it hard to, like, usually I only find it positive when they're like, hey, I mean this in the nicest way possible.
Nick Wright
Yeah.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Co-Host
When they're like, you did that. I remember I posted a photo of river early on.
Jesse James Decker
I was.
Co-Host
We had just gotten to the house. I was taken out of her car seat, and she was, like, smiling at me. It was like one of her first smiles or something. So I took a picture, I posted it, and her top buckle on her. The belt was undone, and it was like, are you serious? You're driving with her? Like, that's not the way to do it. And so it kind of really got into my head of, like, checking everything before, because I was like so scared.
Nick Wright
Of what can be taken out of context.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah, Yeah. I never show them the car seats. I never show them any of those things.
Eric Decker
It's like, you know, where it can.
Jesse James Decker
Go swimming and floaty, you know, it's like hundred percent.
Co-Host
And like it's, it's like you know what's safe? You're a mom, your intuition is great, you know, and it's like, but the second you put it for everyone else, it's like, oh my God, I've done this all wrong. Like, this is awful, you know?
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Co-Host
So it's been a challenge for us. I think it's a back and forth conversation every day of like, what do we want to do? How do we want to like move forward with this? But it's a really good piece of advice of just like keeping them as normal as possible.
Jesse James Decker
And like, and it keeps me normal as possible. Like for me I'm like, I'm not gonna, you know, it is what it is and I'm going to post it the way my mom down the street does. She's proud of her kid and it's their birthday, you know, but you got to do what feels good to do to you. You know, there's no wrong or right way.
Co-Host
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Nick Wright
I want to go back to what Jesse said about you as a father in terms of like managing your time as a football player, like the way you communicate that as a father. Like I really resonate with just talking about like, I'm just very mindful of like what I'm spending my energy on. You know, I'm very aware that our like time is not infinite. If we're thinking about one thing, we're disconnected in other areas of our life and things like that. That being said, like, even nowadays I think there's. I talk to a lot of moms out there, a lot of women that are married to men or fathers who just like don't have that type of mindset to like make sure that they are just as active in participating and raising their kids where it's just like you Know a lot of dads out there, like, I work, I provide, and you know, the child care is, you know, my wife's job. Like, what was it about being a father that like, even as a professional athlete, because of, you could have easily just been. You could have been like, hey, I'm, I'm the man. I'm a professional athlete. I'm making millions of dollars like this. Less than 1% of the people in the world can do this. I have to focus all my energy. You know, you could have really used that as an excuse. But why was it so important for you? And why did you struggle making sure that you were showing up and that you were just as active in helping Jesse raise your children?
Eric Decker
Well, I just feel like, you know, even you can go back to childhood, I guess. But I just felt like as a father is such an important role to be present, especially the books that I read because I was, you know, super intrigued of like, how to be a really good dad. Like, for me it just was super important. So I understood that at a young age, kids are really shaped by their dad's love and you know, the time spent with the father more so than the mother even. And I think that just resonated. And really, you know, like you said as a man, the masculinity of like, okay, well, my job is to provide financially for my family. And after I retired, I struggled with that because I'm like, what do I do? I don't have a job. I don't have like a next passion. Like sports has been my life and what I wanted to do. And so I, I had, you know, a year where I just had to kind of like do some self diagnosis and figure out, okay, well, my purpose is really to serve my family. And what that is, is, you know, my wife has a career, but serve my wife, serve my children again, find my purpose in my community, which for me is like our friend group, our school that just, again, just, just helped me figure out that like, what my job is first and foremost is to be a great leader. And to be a great leader starts in your home. And so the way I raise my kids to make a difference, you know, whether it's at school now themselves, or it's in their sports teams or any activities they do, like, that's a reflection of what we as fathers do in the household. And I think it's just a compounding effect. I mean, there's so many issues, I think, in our society because a. I'll say, you know, fathers maybe aren't as present or, you know, aren't showing love or aren't showing up to teach their kids, you know, through emotions and. And just even being aware of your own vulnerability, being vulnerable and being able to talk about, you know, hey, I'm. I'm struggling today. You know, I'm. I apologize. I'm sorry. Being able to, you know, do those things where it's easy for a man, masculinity, to remove himself and be like, well, this is who I am. This is my job is just to, you know, pay the bills and put a roof over your head. So it's been, you know, really encouraging to build other men in my circle that have the same value system that way. And I think that's the only way we really make true changes, you know, as. As men to. To show up, and you can still be a man, but you can also have a deep conversation, you know, with another man or with your children, so they understand, you know, what it really looks like to be a man.
Nick Wright
That's awesome.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Nick Wright
I mean, like, I've always said, like, it takes a lot of guts, especially as men, to be vulnerable. It's. And to apologize, show grace. You know, a lot of times I think we're raised to think the opposite. Where toughness comes from not opening up or just. Or admitting, you know, defeat or that you were wrong, or to say, like, I'm worried or I'm scared or whatever it is like that. That takes a lot of strength and guts. And, yeah, I love everything you said about that. That's great.
Co-Host
Jesse, you've been an incredible working mother. I feel like your whole motherhood, you've been working. How do you kind of balance the two without having any sort of guilt? Or do you have mom guilt?
Jesse James Decker
You know, in the beginning, when Eric was playing, I didn't really work as much. I kind of took a break from my music and my touring and everything, and I focused on completely his career and what he needed because it was, you know, demanding, and we had small children, and I loved every minute of it. But when he retired, I was able to kind of start working again. He was home more. I got a record deal when I was 19. I've always wanted to be a singer. It's always been my dream to play the Opry, to be an artist, and I've been able to live that dream in many different ways. But I think that being a mother is more important to me than any of this. So I've definitely had those moments of mom guilt where I was touring back then or I was, you know, traveling and I think that there were lessons learned of I don't want to be out here doing this and be wishing I'm back home. What's the point? To do anything. Don't do anything begrudgingly is what my mom says. I don't want to be there crying, trying to figure out how to get home. Then just don't forecast what, how you're going to feel and just don't do it. So I kind of made a change back in 2022 because I was on tour multiple times that year. I went out with Kane Brown, I did Dancing with the Stars. I mean, it was just a jam packed year and I really just got burnt out and it was a moment of this is just not serving me. And yes, my career is going well. You know, these, my dreams are coming true. I had another book come out, but I was still feeling that pain of wanting to be home more. And so my, my family is number one. And I always say, like, look at a pyramid. Put on top of the pyramid what is most important to you and then start building it. At the top of the pyramid is always my husband and my children and anything else can build underneath it. What's next after that? Okay, my, my music and my brand. Kittenish. Okay, after that, what's next? And, and this is how you kind of decide what percentage of time you're going to give to those things. But as long as what is most important to you is on the top of this pyramid, everything will fall into place. And so my priorities in life are to be an amazing wife to him and amazing mother to our children. And so yes, I have dreams, yes, I love working, but those things don't come first. Everything else falls into place and they're things that I love and I enjoy. But if you don't have a solid foundation with your family, like what do you have? Right. None of this matters.
Eric Decker
She's been very intentional. Yeah, I think 2022 was a turning point in a sense. But you've been super intentional of where her time spent and what makes sense in terms of maybe an opportunity to say yes or no to. And so, you know, with maturity that balance has come so much greater. And you know, the kids are thriving because, you know, they get that balance at home too.
Jesse James Decker
We've always been, you know, 2022 is an abnormal year for sure. And that's why it shook me probably so much because I had worked so much. It was just not normal. It was not anything. I was used to being gone that Long. And it was just such great communities that kept coming. But in the end, you know, you just kind of crash and burn. You're like, oh, my gosh. And then I got pregnant.
Co-Host
So do you. I mean, how do you two. With so much going on in life, with four children, how do you prioritize each other and to keep your relationship as connected and as strong as it is?
Eric Decker
Netflix and Chill.
Jesse James Decker
I think that we're fortunate. We have an abnormal situation where Eric retired early so he has more free time to be at home. And, you know, and I have the blessing of being in charge of my career too, and picking and choosing. So we. I think spending time together is the biggest priority. That is the most important piece. We just spend a lot of time together. We like each other, which is really important to like them, not just love them. Like I like them.
Eric Decker
Yeah. Find time. I guess we are busy finding time, you know, to like, just go play pickleball or, you know, go on a dinner date every once in a while or just sit. Yeah. In the, in the hot tub or naked.
Jesse James Decker
Hot tub nights. Yeah.
Eric Decker
Just, you know, find times to, like, connect because it is important and, you know, when you just are exhausted, in a sense from chasing kids around and doing some work type things, you know, but you have to make a point to spend time, which we do. And we naturally, yeah. Get to spend a lot of time at home together.
Jesse James Decker
But it is easy after a long day for couples to get in bed and you just get on your phone and you just, like, zonk out because you're trying to. Like, that is such a, like, normal thing. But I would advise everyone to prioritize putting it away. One of my best friends, Jessica, her husband has a rule of, like, after this time, put your phone in the hall and it's not allowed back into this. This room. And they put it away. And you just have to lay there and look and listen. We're all guilty of it. It's not like it's an every night occurrence, but little things like that can make such a difference where it's just like, be present with each other. Is that really more important than the person laying next to you? Like, lay there and just stare at each other and just see what comes to your mind, you know? Yeah.
Nick Wright
Piggybacking on that, like. And I'm sensing this from you guys, but, you know, I have 10 brothers and sisters who come from a large family. I have a vivid memory of when we were young kids, a question we had asked my parents. And they. I learned Teamwork from my parents. You know, like, the thing that would get me, us most in trouble. Like, the cardinal sin of being a kid in my family. As if I went to, like, dad and said, hey, can I do this? And if dad said no, and I ignored that and went to mom without, you know, and, like, mom said yes, thinking it was fine. Finding out that, like, you know, I. I pitted them against each other like that. That was the car. And being new parents, I think nowadays you see a lot of couples quickly will prioritize their children over their partner in a sense where, like. And listen, like, having River, I see the bond that river and Natalie have. I feel like river is a part of me. Right? So, like, loving our child is just, like, so intense and so easy. But I do think it's like, to have a successful marriage and a relationship that lasts over time. I always respected my parents when we would ask them, like, who do you love more? Like, do you love mom or dad or us? And they are just, like, it's different. That was what they would always say. But they. They made it very clear that their love for each other was special and it wasn't to be compared to our love for them. And I do feel like a lot of times nowadays that's not always the case in relationships where parents were almost make it seem like they're afraid to let their children know how much love they have for each other out of fear that they're supposed to love their kids the most. But I'm sensing you guys do a great job of being a team and showing that type of love to your children.
Jesse James Decker
My mom always just said, you know, when your kids grow up and they leave the house, you're gonna stand there and you're gonna look at each other, and you better hope and pray, no matter who it is, whatever couples there are that you have put in the time and the effort, you've got to put each other first, because when they're gone, it's just, you and your kids live in your house for such a small percentage of your life. So you've got to put in that time together. Because when they're gone, where is it? Where's the foundation? Where's the love? We. We talk about. We love having kids, but we look forward to one day being in our 50s and 60s being like, let's go to Italy.
Co-Host
Let's go.
Eric Decker
You know, now 60s.
Jesse James Decker
Well, now 60s, we reset the clock for sure with a little Denver. And that's also. Listen, I. I probably grew up with a very traditional Mother. But I think that it has been very healthy for me in my adulthood as. As a wife. Eric is. He's my partner, but he is the head of our household. He is. He is the provider. He is. He's the head of the household. And I want to do my job as his wife to make him feel loved and make sure that he feels taken care of, his needs are met. And I think having that traditional sort of aspect to it has been really beautiful for our marriage. You know, growing up, seeing my mom, she would wait for my dad at the door when he came home and wrap her arms around him and kiss him, and she would have dinner ready. And I feel like, for me, it was something that I wanted to do. I wanted to. And so I do that. I may have worked that day. I do work, obviously, but I also. When he comes home from football, I would do the same. Wrap my arms around him and make sure I had dinner ready. And what can I do to love on you? Because he's giving that to me in so many other wonderful ways. And so I feel like our kids see that, and they see the love that we share. They see the dedication, they see the affection, and I'm proud of that. I see their smiles when they see us loving on each other, and I. I hope they. They remember those things when they get older and they start, you know, having relationships of their own.
Co-Host
Yeah. I was gonna ask, what's something that you hope your children take from your marriage into their future marriages?
Jesse James Decker
Like, it.
Co-Host
Would it be the love or is there.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah, it's the love. It's the dedication. It's the. The partnership. We are truly a team. We're a team. I always say that he's the mighty oak that holds the household together, and I'm the leaves that fill up the tree with the colors. And so I think that it's a partnership. You know, one needs the other. Totally.
Nick Wright
Nanny and I have been joking about, like, even before we had children together, like, who's gonna be the disciplinary. You know, who's gonna be good cop and bad cop?
Jesse James Decker
That's a good question.
Nick Wright
I was always pretty confident that I would. That I have some bad cop in me. And, like, you know, in terms of there's a right way to do things.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Nick Wright
You know, type of thing. And now it was like, when we found out we're having a daughter, she was telling me that I would melt, and I do melt with my daughter. But Nally has such this ins. Like, this insane bond with our daughter. It's so Evident. And I. I find at times I have to be like, you know, like, hey, you know, how do you strike that balance with you guys? Or what role do you guys play where I just feel like she has this intense love that I have to be like, she's okay.
Co-Host
You know, I don't think river is old enough yet when she's like, daddy, please. You know, it'll be, I think, a little different where he says.
Nick Wright
But I just, like, I really. I don't want. We're very lucky, right?
Jesse James Decker
We.
Nick Wright
We could give. And I'm sure you guys seem like you're in the same position. We could spoil our kid. We can give him anything she wants. Our daughter's not gonna have the same childhood that we had. You know, we grew up every day. I saw my parents worry about money, you know, so. And a lot of things was no because, like, I had to work for things I wanted. And I had a great childhood. They gave me everything I needed. But, like, we are gonna have to figure out how to teach our kids scarcity and work ethic. Like, how do you balance that? Making sure that your kids are learning some of the core values that you guys learned as children, knowing that you had different upperclass upbringings.
Eric Decker
Yeah. So important, I think, you know, I was gonna earlier just tell on Jess for being so good with the discipline part of it. Like, we are definitely a team. I think I'm probably more of a people pleaser, so I'm, you know, a little more lenient. But it's good to kind of be in check with the kids because they'll try to, like you said, go both ways and get what they want. But we're on the same page that way. And, you know, I think basically there's. There's boundaries, you know, we've created, and, you know, I think we have the opportunity to give our kids a lot more than we had, you know, from travel to, obviously, things, but just opportunity and. But there is a fine balance because that's the last thing we want is privileged children. And so, like, earning something is super important in our household. And our kids understand, you know, they have chores and, you know, they can get weekly allowance if they do their.
Jesse James Decker
Chores or you've taken them to soup kitchens where they've helped. Like, you've done a great job of that. And we could do even more of that.
Eric Decker
And having perspective, I mean, just understanding, like, where they live and what they are provided is, you know, very fortunate. And to see and have reflection and perspective of what others may not have and be, you know, give more than you receive. And you know, I think it starts to with just the rooted foundation at home with the belief systems, have a spiritual belief, you know, have, you know, just love in general for everyone. And so it does show I think a a lot through our kids and in their friends and who they associate with which we're super proud of. But it's a constant communication like be fortunate. And I have to tell myself too sometimes because I can get mad about little things but it's perspective like be fortunate for what you have and what you know, where we're at in life because we are very, very blessed.
Co-Host
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Co-Host
Switching gears a little bit before we get into special forces, y' all are obviously no, you know, newbie to reality tv. I remember watching Yalls reality show. It was so good. Well first I guess how did that opportunity come about? I mean I know y' all were so big in public eye so it was probably like a no brainer, but how did that opportunity come to y'?
Jesse James Decker
All A Producer reached out to me on Facebook from a production company and just said, we've been following you and Eric for quite some time. You guys are engaged now. Like, would you be open to us doing a docu series, pitching it to E of you two, like, walk, getting to the Idol aisle, getting married. And it's funny because I had always thought for some reason, doing a reality show would be a positive for me. This was even before Eric. This was the days of, like, Jessica Simpson show, Ashley Simpson, Cheyenne, even on MTV when she had her show. Because I was being marketed not very well through my first record deal. It was like they were marketing me as, like, the sex symbol. They were putting me in Maxim and, like, just, like, all these things that were just not probably the move. And I did not have a very big female fan base at that point. I was like, I always make this joke, but the only fan mail I was getting was like, guys in jail. And so it was just. And I was on tour with Jonas Brothers, and, like, the. It was just like they were doing it incorrectly.
Co-Host
Yeah.
Jesse James Decker
You know, and so I remember telling the president of my label, like, I think if I did a reality show, people would see, like, I am a girl's girl. Like, I am just like your best friend, and it would really help my career. And he had just done the reality show with an artist named Cheyenne Kimball. He's like, I'm never doing that again. Anyway, fast forward, we get this opportunity, and I'm like, man, I feel like this. This would be fun to do. First off, we get to document our entire experience together. We'll never be able to get this back. And number two, I think this would be a good career move. And so we went and pitched it to E. And they took it right on the spot, both of us. And we ended up having three seasons with a couple year breaks in between, because every time we would do one, I'd be like, I'm never doing that again.
Eric Decker
She's a bulldog during this process, too. Unbelievable. Like, you know, you guys obviously been, you know, see reality tv, but they try to make you do certain things or your penis. And she's like, no, we're done. And we're just, like, actually fired. The first producer, I was like, you have to.
Nick Wright
You have to know your boundaries in that world.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Nick Wright
Because it's their job to see what.
Eric Decker
Those boundaries are authentic at all.
Jesse James Decker
I was too smart for all of that. And I knew exactly what they were doing. Like, I like you. You just. I always say, you can't snow the Snowman. Like, I know what you're doing. Like, get out of here. So. So, yes, I ended up firing the entire team and getting a new one in, which was much better for us. But, yeah, I just, you know, I was like, in reality tv. But he didn't really enjoy the process. You know, I don't like the icky, slimy part of it. I like the finished product where people can be entertained and they feel a part of it and it's. That part's fun. But the process can feel slimy no matter what you feel. Just kind of icky sometimes when you're doing it and there are parts of it that were fun. But I think as soon as we started having kids, I immediately was like, we're done here. Like, I don't want my kids around these, you know, camera guys around production. Like, I just don't want them growing up in this world. It just doesn't feel right.
Co-Host
Right.
Jesse James Decker
And so we stopped doing it after season three. They were not happy with us. I think they wanted to continue making it, you know, truly a part of the E Family.
Nick Wright
I mean, I'm assuming they. Now that you were having kids, they were like, yeah, you know, like, you know, the family dynamic.
Jesse James Decker
But I definitely feel like it probably burned a couple bridges. I actually know that it did. Couple Burned a couple bridges with some execs there because they had put a lot into it. And I understand. I totally get it. But I just. I knew in my heart it wasn't something we wanted to continue.
Eric Decker
The process was. It wasn't that bad at all. Like, I mean, we had great camera guys.
Jesse James Decker
Oh, my God. I, like, still friends with these guys today. Ninja. Hello, Ninja, we love you.
Eric Decker
And Josh.
Jesse James Decker
And Pirate.
Eric Decker
Yeah, and Pirate. But, like, yeah, just, I think, you know, you step up, you know.
Nick Wright
Ninja.
Jesse James Decker
Do you really?
Nick Wright
I feel like I do, because not a lot of people name Ninja.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah, yeah. In the production world, he's amazing. We. I mean, and you're around these guys all the time, so you become buddies with them, but, yeah, I just. I didn't want our kids growing up around that. It just. Just doesn't feel very. I want our kids to be as normal as they can possibly be, and they are. But I'm grateful for the show. It. It changed our lives, you know, and it gave me a platform and Eric, the ability to retire early, that is.
Nick Wright
But, yeah, I mean, it's a we. Like you said, like, there are pros and attractive elements to it, you know, And I'm sure part of you thought, like, we can be, like, a good role models, you know, like, you always go in with, like, thinking, you know, this can have a greater good sometimes. But, like, just knowing reality tv, of course. And we're fans of reality tv. We love the drama. Like, I want to. I don't. Like, I don't want to see you get along all that much.
Co-Host
I want to see y' all fight.
Jesse James Decker
And then I'm sure y' all are.
Co-Host
Like, we don't want to fight.
Nick Wright
Yeah. So, like, sometimes you have to manufacture that tension, which, like you said, can feel a little icky.
Jesse James Decker
It doesn't feel real. And I think. I don't know. Like I said, I'm grateful for it. It was a good experience, but I also feel, like opens things up for judgment or for whatever it may be, you know, that's why even I'm hesitant to do even podcasts anything. It's like, I'm opening up. There's probably 10 sound bites in here that will just turn into something you're opening yourself up to be scrutinized, no matter what it is and what you do. And you have to be prepared for that. And I don't know that I'm at this phase or age of life where I really want that. I just don't. I'm so happy in my little bubble of peace that I am so particular. That's why doing something like Special Forces was great, because that show's not really built for that. That it's. You know what I mean?
Nick Wright
It is.
Jesse James Decker
It's not like that. Yeah.
Nick Wright
It's the coolest opportunity to be your show, your best self.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Nick Wright
And that's all they're really looking for. There's no other.
Jesse James Decker
There's not. And that's why, again, we were asked that so many times. Why did you do. Like, you guys have been kind of done with reality tv. I'm like. Because this is different than that. But, yeah, I feel like we're at a phase of life where I just don't want to. I don't want to put our. Our. Our. Our family and all that on the spot. It's just not worth it to me. At what cost? Right?
Nick Wright
Because also, like, the essence of reality TV is, is that competition to pit you against each other and especially as a. As a couple. Like, to me, I feel like, like, our golden rule is to, like. I've never seen my parents fight, and it's not because they didn't fight. You know, it's just that they. They did not do it around us. They did It. Behind closed doors, they. They presented as a team. And it's just like. Like, you see couples out there. We were out with some friends, and the way they talked to each other in front of us. How was this? Like.
Co-Host
Like, couples who, like, argue, and you're like, I feel like this could maybe y' all could, like, finish this at home.
Jesse James Decker
I feel like maybe.
Nick Wright
And I'm like, we would never. You know, and not that. Like, I've. We've sounded like them to each other in our car about like, shit that we're annoyed by. Yeah, it's. It's. It's. I never want to be that cup. Like, you know, if you. You gotta respect each other first, and you have to present that to the world because otherwise it's just so easy to, like, you know, you're around each other all the time. You guys know each other's weaknesses, your pain points. You know, the thing. You know, the people who love us the most, the ones that hurt us the most, too, even though, you know, even unintentionally, because we're so vulnerable around them. And so, like, you, to me, it's always so important to. To protect that and to show that. And that's why, like, obviously, you know, Special Forces and seeing you guys as a couple is. Is that opportunity, like you said, because, like, even. It's not even a competition show. Like, everyone there is a unit. Right? Like, everyone can win. You know, there's, like, it's.
Eric Decker
I mean, they can, but.
Nick Wright
Yeah, but, like, you're not.
Jesse James Decker
You're.
Nick Wright
You're only helping each other out, you know, and, like, there's. There's competition within each, like, course or whatever.
Co-Host
But, like, we're all fans of the show. Did y' all watch before?
Eric Decker
We've seen every. Every season.
Jesse James Decker
Eric to do season one. Oh, wow. And he couldn't because I was on tour. There was a possibility of him doing last year, actually. He was on call for, like, the time frame, and then they ended up, I think, going out to cam. That's what it was.
Nick Wright
Okay.
Jesse James Decker
And so we had become fans of the show because it was that show that Eric didn't do. So we're, like, curious about what it was, and we absolutely fell in love with it as a family. Like, we watch it with our kids. We fell in love with it. I'm an. I'm a military brat. My dad, biological father, was in the army. My stepdad was in the Air Force. Like, this. I've been. Lived in 14 different places. Like, military life is my life. And So I was so enamored with. With the whole thing and watching everybody and their journey and go through their process. And so his agent called me, actually, because I answered the phone, and he doesn't usually answer the phone. So she calls me and says, listen, Special Forces wants Eric again, but there's a catch. You have to go with them. And I was like, what? I was like, no, I don't think so. And they're like, yeah, there's another married couple, and they need that dynamic if. If you're not going to do it with him. Like, he. This is not going to happen this season. Like, well, maybe next season. But, like, they need that dynamic. And so I felt so much pressure, and I ultimately just said, no, like, not doing it.
Eric Decker
This is like, maybe two weeks, probably 10 days before we left. Yeah.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah. I was like, yeah, no, not gonna do that. A couple days go by, they call back, and they're like. They went out to another couple, but they said, no. Like, can we. Like, can you really?
Nick Wright
Are you sure?
Jesse James Decker
Can you consider this again? Can you consider this again? I was like, so we talked about. I'm like, baby, I don't. Like, I don't want to do this. This is not something I've ever wanted to do. Like, you're gonna be great at this, but, like, me, I don't want to be away from the kids that long. Like, what are we doing? And ultimately, we. We went back and forth for days. And then I finally was like, if I say no, I feel like I've already failed the show. Like, I've already failed, failed. Already failed this experience. And I don't like feeling like a failure. So my mom was like, I got you. You guys go, we've got the kids. My dad, who's in the air Force over 30 years, retired general, was like, I've been through all of this. You got it. Like, go through this. And so we went.
Eric Decker
We sure did.
Nick Wright
What an experience, having gone through it personal. I imagine you guys are very proud. Not only is what you did as individuals, but as a couple. So you're gonna. You'. You remember all these moments, and you're gonna not see so much of it. You. You will be frustrated because, like, Nick.
Co-Host
Would be like, that looked so short. Like, that was five seconds long. And we've been running for 12 miles for five hours.
Nick Wright
And I was like, dying, and I'm like, that looked kind of. And everyone watches it, thinks it's insanely hard, but compared to what you experienced and just how torturous it was, and how I can only imagine having done it, like, yeah, you're going to be kind of frustrated watching it back because it won't feel like what you went through. Because so much about that show is. It's like attrition, you know, like the. I keep, you know, the so true. Like the activities, you know, maybe you have a fear of heights and some of that shit, but a lot of it was exhilarating and fun, I imagine. And it's the in between, like, before you start or finish, where they just beat the shit out of you. Or emotionally, like, I just was like.
Eric Decker
Can I have a hug?
Nick Wright
You know, like, tell me I'm doing a good job, man. Like, you know, you want some validation?
Jesse James Decker
Yeah.
Co-Host
Were y' all shocked? I mean, obviously you'd been a fan of the show and you'd watch the show, but were you shocked at just how mean the DS's really are?
Jesse James Decker
No, because we'd seen it, so I. I knew what to expect. And again, I grew up with two military dads. Like, I just. That part didn't phase me as much as I think maybe it would have other people. I'm used to that sort of level of, like, intensity, you know, But I was impressed by how well they were able to keep that on because, you know, the real people behind the clothes, we all do. Like now we've hung out with them and they're just like wonderful, warm and fuzzy people. But I was impressed with the amount of energy it must take to be on like that.
Nick Wright
You know, people ask. It was like, it's a simul. It's not a show. It's a simulation. You know, you're truly in their world. And it's.
Eric Decker
They get frustrated with, like, production in the camera crews. And, you know, we had a hiccup one time, I think because they needed a break. And we're like in the middle of shooting an exercise and they're just going off, like, livid. Like, you can. We're out here.
Jesse James Decker
Take it seriously. They really don't even pay attention to the TV part of it. They take this very seriously, which is good. You want them to.
Eric Decker
And they're given, what I mean, 20 hours, 18, 20 hours a day.
Nick Wright
And, oh, yeah, they're going.
Eric Decker
They're frustrated because you need a break to.
Co-Host
Yeah, grab a change out camera.
Eric Decker
Change our cameras.
Co-Host
They don't care.
Eric Decker
Come on.
Nick Wright
Yeah, they. I've talked to Billy a lot too. Like, they don't. They. They go in not knowing our backstories. They don't want to. They want To. They want to meet us at our level. They want to, like, you know, have it be as real as possible. What was the most rewarding, without any spoilers or things like that. But what was. What was the most rewarding moment for you guys, both as individuals and as a couple doing the experience?
Eric Decker
I think for me, just. Just seeing Jess in that environment was really cool because being an athlete, I guess you're just used to the grind sometimes and training camp. Football, like, sucks, but you just figure out a way to get through it. And I've done it so many years in my life and, you know, I just wasn't sure the physical, emotional toll that it does play on you, like, where she'd be at, but, like, just the grit and like, the way she dug deep and tenacity that I know she has. Has had her life and has. But. But it came out. I was like, damn, this is really cool. Like, another attraction point to see her almost in this environment because it's hard, you know, And I think that's what I love about team sports is, like, the bonding. Like, it's almost like trauma bonding, but it's bonding when you're going through hard stuff together. Like, you really respect and appreciate one another. And, like, we've gotten so much deeper of relationship with some of the cast members, fellow cast members, because of that experience. And it just reminded me so much of playing football and that experience. But just to see her do as well as she did, it was awesome.
Co-Host
Yeah, you're a beast, Jesse. I definitely, when they released the cast, I was like, she is going to crash.
Nick Wright
You had a couple of your football peers. You had Randall Cobb and Johnny Manzella. How was that? Was there a little bit of internal competition for you to outperform them?
Eric Decker
Randall's awesome. What's crazy is that there's what, seven or eight of us, so all of us have kids in the same age range. And so I've known Randall Andrew East. Johnny has spent some time just after the show with us.
Jesse James Decker
He's literally at the house. Two days ago, like, all day at the house. Oh, really? Hanging out with the kids and stuff. I made him chili and cookies. He was like, I'm not leaving.
Eric Decker
He was loving it. But I didn't feel any, like, competition. Like, I'm gonna, you know, finish first or I'm gonna beat you. It was almost like I get more of, like, the satisfaction and validation from, like, uplifting people about this kind of my personality, I think. And I've always played that position in sports and so I'd rather see someone else succeed with teamwork. Cause it makes me feel like, okay, you know, we do it together. You're only as strong as your weakest link.
Nick Wright
Yeah, right. And was that like, you know, for me when I did it, I had just found out Natalie was pregnant. And I remember when season one came out, she like saw the commercial and she's like, you gotta do that show.
Co-Host
Like it looks so badass. You got like, you'd crush.
Nick Wright
You gotta do that. And so I basically was like, okay, I think my, I want to turn my wife on, my girlfriend, basically. And then we found out now I was pregnant. And you know, I played sports my whole life. I ran track in college, certainly not at the level you competed at. And so I was like 42. And so for me I really, this was really like, do I still got what it takes? And I really internalized that. Like, you know, there are going to be moments where I'm going to have to step up as a father and I'm going to have to grind when I don't feel like it when I, you know. And so like that was like the mentality I used to get it through that experience. Yeah, I guess. Like what were your kind of. For both question for both you. Because like that's what's so fascinating about the show is like whatever they paid you, you literally can leave the first day. There is nothing keeping you there. Nothing other than your own like will or like self determination. So what was the thing for you guys that made you grind it out and stick it out? As long as you, you end up sticking it out?
Eric Decker
For me, I just, I think it's just competitive person. So like obviously competing with myself and, and to give it everything I, I have. And you know, to your point too, being retired and now middle age, it's like, do I still have it? So it's, it's a testament to or a test of what do I have, you know, and like almost realizing I miss that, like out of comfort zone, you know, experience of like pushing myself physically, but now it's more so emotionally. And that was kind of my giant force was just like almost going back to the thought process I had in training camp for football. I was like, all right, let's just get to lunch, you know, let's just get to dinner. Randall made that comment one time too. Just get to the next meal. And it's just like you're checking this box and such a, like, you know, task oriented person. That's all, you know, you compartmentalize like, everything. You can't look at the big picture. You just got to get to the next thing. And then when you. I had, you know, just there with me. So comforting at night. She'd just be like. Like, you know, just the touch or, you know, just knowing that she's there was helpful.
Nick Wright
How about you, Jess?
Jesse James Decker
My driving force was Eric. I did the show because of Eric. Doing the show just to begin with was, like, so out of my comfort zone. I knew it was gonna be tough. I knew it was gonna be hard. I knew it was gonna pull things out of me that maybe I just didn't wanna, like, deal with, you know, But I did it. And just getting there was enough for me to just feel like I had done something. But I think what kept going me every single day was being with him and almost not wanting to let him down. And I had the mentality of, like, I'll stay as long as he's here. If he's here, I'm gonna stay and I'm gonna keep going as long as I can go if he's here. And that was kind of my thought process, is never wanting to let him down. We came into this together. Even though we're playing this. This scenario as individuals, we also are a team in my mind. And it was just like wanting to be a good team teammate to my husband.
Nick Wright
Did you guys have any conversations going in that if, If. If one of you bowed out or quit, like, how the other person would respond?
Jesse James Decker
Yeah, we did have that conversation. It was always like, if I end up leaving early on, which I, like, assumed I would like, you keep going, like, go as far as you possibly can. And that was our conversation. That was it.
Co-Host
Are your kids stoked to watch?
Eric Decker
Yes, they're excited.
Jesse James Decker
They're so excited.
Nick Wright
It's definitely the only thing I've ever done on TV that I will be excited for my kids to watch. And that's part of the reason why I did it. Because everything else, trash.
Jesse James Decker
Not trash. A couple engagements. You make good tv. Yeah, I made good tv.
Nick Wright
But anything where I'm sitting down, I'm like, dad's really proud of this.
Jesse James Decker
Yeah, but look at you. I mean, you have, like, such success.
Nick Wright
Like, you know, listen, I'm grateful for it. I'm. I always tell people, like, I'm not ashamed of it, but I'm also not. Not proud of, like, being on reality tv. There's not a skill set. There's. There's elements that I navigated in that world that, like, looking back, like, I Realized that I had like a. An emotional resiliency that allowed me to do what I did. And, And I think, I don't think it's a coincidence that, like, you know, Hannah, Hannah Brown, Tyler Cameron, and myself, three winners in the first two season, are all from Bachelor Nation because, like, the emotional kind of they do with you guys is. It's. No. That being said, like, I'm. I'm. I'm aware that everything I have today is. Is from that. So I'm always grateful for that and I'm always like. So, yeah, it's a balance of like, I don't, I don't. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not ashamed of it. It happened and I, I pull from it the things that I'm, you know, proud of, but it's not like Special Forces, a very different experience for me that I'll be happy for my kids to see. Like, I remember seeing Rocky IV in the theaters when I was like 4 or 5 years old and I came home and I was doing sit ups, you know, like, you know, and I hope my kids, like, watch it and want to like, you know, dad's a badass, you know, and start like, grinding, you know, and things.
Eric Decker
Throwing rocks in their backpack. Let's go.
Nick Wright
That's one thing they don't. They don't talk about on Special Forces because the. The Burke, the Bergens.
Eric Decker
Yeah.
Jesse James Decker
So heavy.
Nick Wright
Well, they make it to little behind. Behind the scenes. They put you. We had to put sand. Maybe it was rocks for you guys, but it has to weigh at least 35 kilograms, which is like, what, 25 pounds?
Jesse James Decker
I don't know.
Eric Decker
It's closer to 50 pounds.
Nick Wright
50 pounds or something like that. They don't.
Podcast Host
They don't show that and that on my frame.
Jesse James Decker
My frame in Sean's frame. I remember looking at Sean because she's tiny like me, and I'm being like, this is.
Nick Wright
And they don't care, man. Woman, they don't care your size.
Eric Decker
Like up here.
Jesse James Decker
Oh, I'm like, every time I go everywhere.
Nick Wright
Little tar read falling over.
Jesse James Decker
Oh, my God. I think I did fall over at one point. It like, it was like we were turning on something in my backpack. Just like kind of blew me over.
Eric Decker
I just feel bad.
Jesse James Decker
It's so funny.
Co-Host
Well, we're so excited to watch. It comes out when?
Jesse James Decker
September 25.
Nick Wright
September 25.
Jesse James Decker
September 25.
Nick Wright
So next.
Jesse James Decker
Next week? I think Next week?
Eric Decker
Yeah, next Thursday.
Co-Host
Wow.
Jesse James Decker
Shoot wild, y'. All. It's here.
Nick Wright
It'll be exciting.
Jesse James Decker
I cannot believe how fast they pulled this together.
Nick Wright
Well, thanks for coming guys. It's been a ton of anything you guys like? Final thoughts you want to share or plug before we send you guys on your way?
Jesse James Decker
Oh yeah, I have a movie coming out.
Nick Wright
You have a movie coming out?
Jesse James Decker
It'll be in theaters November 7th. What movie? It is a Karen Kingsbury movie. The novelist and she wrote a movie called the Christmas Ring and I am playing the best friend to the lead star, Jana Kramer. So I'm very excited.
Nick Wright
Well, thanks again guys. It's been great getting to know you guys. Just, I love having these conversations. Obviously I'm in my dad and husband era, but I think you guys are a great role model of how to be a team and put family first. And I think nowadays, again, whoever your family is and whatever it looks like, I think we need more of that energy in our world and to focus on your community, whoever that community is. And get off the phones and all that bullshit.
Eric Decker
I'm gonna make you a T shirt. Dad and husband era. I'm gonna send.
Nick Wright
You make T shirts.
Co-Host
The og.
Eric Decker
I'll figure it out.
Nick Wright
Well, thanks for coming guys. I appreciate you and thank you guys for listening. We will see you back tomorrow.
Jesse James Decker
Hey, this is Sarah. Look, I'm standing out front of a.m. p.m. Right now and well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling, even kind of cheesy. But I like it. Sure, you met some of my dietary needs, but they've just got it all. So farewell. Oatmeal. So long, you strange soggy.
Nick Wright
Break up with bland breakfast and taste AM PM's bacon, egg and cheese biscuit made with cage free eggs, smoked bacon and melty cheese on a buttery biscuit. AM P M Too much. Good stuff.
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Date: September 17, 2025
Host: Nick Viall
Guests: Jessie James Decker & Eric Decker
Notable Co-Hosts: Natalie Joy and Household
In this special “Going Deeper” episode, Nick Viall sits down with country star/author Jessie James Decker and former NFL wide receiver Eric Decker. The couple opens up about marriage, family, parenting philosophies, work-life balance, life in the public eye, and their latest adventure together on the reality competition show Special Forces. With warmth, candidness, and humor, Jessie and Eric walk listeners through their journey from young love to parenthood, reflect on their time in reality TV, and share the lessons and values that keep their relationship strong.
How They Met ([06:45]–[09:56])
Going “All In” Early
Quick Evolution
On Becoming Parents ([04:40]–[07:45])
Navigating Fertility and Family Size
Public Parenting & Children in the Spotlight ([20:13]–[24:24])
Balancing Careers and Family ([27:06]–[34:51])
Keeping the Relationship Strong ([34:51]–[38:25])
Showing Teamwork in Parenting
Discipline, Privilege, and Teaching Values ([41:44]–[44:12])
“[Fatherhood] validates your purpose in life. It kind of minimizes everything else.”
— Eric Decker [04:40]
“He would be limping upstairs, bathing the kids because it just meant that much to him.”
— Jessie James Decker [05:42]
“If you want it, come get it. I’m not gonna work for this.”
— Jessie James Decker discussing early dating [11:51]
“Look at a pyramid. Put on top of the pyramid what is most important to you… Always my husband and my children.”
— Jessie James Decker on priorities [31:45–34:09]
“To be a great leader starts in your home.”
— Eric Decker [28:26]
“We like each other, which is really important—not just love them… I like him.”
— Jessie James Decker [35:03]
“When your kids grow up and leave the house… you better hope and pray… you have put in the time and the effort [together].”
— Jessie James Decker [38:25]
“The mighty oak that holds the household together and I’m the leaves that fill up the tree with the colors.”
— Jessie James Decker [40:33]
“There’s boundaries… earning something is super important in our household.”
— Eric Decker [43:21]
“You can’t snow the snowman—I know what you’re doing.”
— Jessie James Decker on reality TV production [49:54]
“What kept me going was being with him and not wanting to let him down.”
— Jessie James Decker on Special Forces [64:54]
Jessie James and Eric Decker exemplify a deeply committed partnership grounded in love, tradition, and teamwork. This episode explores the real work behind their marriage, their shared parenting values, and how they consciously build a family culture of respect, discipline, and togetherness. Whether navigating public scrutiny, high-pressure careers, or the rigors of Special Forces, their candid reflections and practical wisdom offer inspiration for couples and parents striving to keep family—and each other—at the center.
Upcoming:
Jessie’s new film releases November 7th (Karen Kingsbury’s “The Christmas Ring,” starring Jana Kramer).
Special Forces featuring the Deckers premieres September 25th.
End of Content Summary