The Viall Files

Episode 1007: Ask Nick – He Cheated at the Wedding
Date: September 29, 2025
Host: Nick Viall
Special Guests/Co-Hosts: Natalie Joy, The Household

Episode Overview

In this episode of The Viall Files, host Nick Viall, with contributions from Natalie Joy and the Household, offers listeners his signature candid advice on a trio of listener relationship dilemmas. Topics range from navigating intimacy hang-ups within a longtime marriage, how to respond after witnessing (near-)cheating at a wedding, and the nuanced world of dating as a micro-influencer. As always, Nick blends empathy with humor and honest reflection, reminding listeners not to take themselves too seriously—whether the challenge is in the bedroom, at the altar, or on social media.

Call 1: Intimacy Mental Blocks in Marriage

Caller: Anna, 38
Topic: Mental block about giving her husband oral sex
Timestamps: [02:58]–[18:22]

Key Discussion Points

• Anna describes her marriage: Long-term (16 years), good sex life, one sexual partner (her husband), relatively adventurous and open with each other's desires.
• Her dilemma: Uncomfortable with the idea of giving her husband a "just for you" blowjob outside regular intimacy. It's not that she's against oral sex as part of sex/foreplay—it’s the idea of making it one-sided or transactional that causes mental friction.
• **Her husband occasionally requests this—not often, but as a special thing. Anna struggles to get out of her head and doesn't tend to initiate intimacy in this way.

Nick’s Advice

• Normalize the issue:

  "I don't know if you're the only one who's like, maybe not down for just having a dick in your mouth without, like, receiving some enjoyment on your end too." – Nick [05:12]

• Focus on the mindset:
  Suggests Anna talk with her husband about what specifically he finds exciting about the one-sided BJ fantasy. Understanding his motivation might make it easier for her to inhabit the role play and find enjoyment in it—or at least not see it as a "job."
• Reciprocity in intimacy:
  Nick explains why it’s okay for either partner to occasionally want or receive one-sided pleasure—but both need to understand what turns the other on, and mental "warm-ups" are as important as any physical ones.
• Don’t force spontaneity:

  "You shouldn’t expect yourself to spontaneously be like, it’s go time, I’ve turned into another person." – Anna, [16:37]
  "It doesn’t have to be so literally spontaneous. It just has to feel spontaneous, you know, for the other person." – Nick [14:41]

• Find meaning in the act:
  Nick suggests Anna focus on how she can still find enjoyment or turn-on in his pleasure, even if it’s not physically about her in the moment.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Every couple wants...the other person to make the first move and turn us on." – Nick [13:21]

• "Ask each other what about that turns you on, and create a safe space where like...I'm interested in that it might turn you on." – Nick [14:41]

• "We don’t want to become roommates." – Anna [15:52]

• Nick’s summary takeaway:

  "Even though he is like, hey, in this moment, I want it to be all about me, you should still be able to enjoy this experience. So you have to figure out how you can mentally or physically enjoy this experience." – Nick [16:55]

Call 2: A Wedding (Almost) Cheating Scandal

Caller: Sarah, 27
Topic: Friend's fiancé acted unfaithfully at her wedding. Should she tell?
Timestamps: [22:22]–[43:14]

Key Discussion Points

• Situation Recap:
  • Sarah and her husband hosted their wedding.
  • A male friend of the groom (“Jimmy”) attended solo (his fiancé absent).
  • Jimmy drunkenly flirted, held hands, and went back to the hotel with another of Sarah's friends (“Mary”), whom he’d just met.
  • Mary only found out (at the last minute) he was engaged—she kicked him out before anything more happened.
• Sarah’s dilemma:
  • She found out only after from Mary, who was genuinely rattled and felt bad.
  • The question: Should Sarah (or her husband) intervene and tell the fiancée or confront Jimmy? They are not particularly close to Jimmy or his fiancée.
  • Concern about inserting her wedding and herself into drama, making her special day part of someone else’s pain.

Nick’s Advice

• Be careful with assumptions:

  "For anyone out there in general, I think it’s careless—I don’t care who you are, how long you’ve been together—to say, that would never happen [to us]." – Nick [27:05]

• Levels of intervention:
  • If it’s your close friend, you might owe them honesty, or at least holding the cheater accountable.
  • In this case: not close friends = lower obligation, risk of making assumptions about their relationship (monogamy, boundaries, etc.).
  • Bringing drama into her own wedding’s memory may be unnecessary.
• “Anonymous tip” strategy:
  • Nick floats the idea of sending Jimmy an anonymous message (from a “finsta”) to spook him into confessing.

  • "Hey, I was at this wedding. I saw what happened. I’m gonna tell her." – Nick [36:38]

  • Ultimately, whether to act at all is a personal call; Nick leans toward letting it go unless she’s truly looking out for the fiancée—not for entertainment.
• Knowing the limits:
  • You don’t really know what the couple’s agreements are, or what the woman would want.
  • Risk with reaching out: “It’s just kind of sticking your business in something...you don’t need to attach your wedding and your special day and insert yourself in drama.” [39:04]
  • At the same time, scaring him to come clean could potentially protect the fiancée if she cares.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "If most people you go on a date with you like, and you're looking for reasons to like them, then that ceases to make them special." – Nick [52:17] (Though from the next call, Nick’s theme here applies: Don’t universalize; context matters.)

• "Her and I were talking about that and basically saying, maybe you should reach out to him...but it's not his close enough friend, I think." – Sarah [35:48]

• "Every great wedding has a little bit of drama." – Nick [35:48]

• "Once you send it [the anonymous message], you will not get an answer. You will not find out if he said anything...You have to assume that once you send it, that's it." – Nick [41:59]

Call 3: Micro-Influencer Dating Struggles

Caller: Nicole, 33
Topic: How to date effectively as a micro-influencer in a small town
Timestamps: [46:43]–[75:47]

Key Discussion Points

• Nicole’s career & dilemma:
  • Works full-time in tech; runs a local Instagram account with ~35,000 followers featuring small businesses.
  • Struggles to connect with men whose attitude shifts once they realize her local “micro-celebrity” status. Some seem to be interested in perks (free stuff, event invites) more than her for herself.
  • She gets “the ick” from the influencer label and feels people either act weird or use her.
• Filtered by fame:
  • Nick frames the “local stardom” as a double-edged sword, but also a fail-safe filter.

  • "If someone doesn't know how to handle being around you, they're not your person." – Nick [51:25]

• Boundaries and pride:
  • Nick notices Nicole leads with her work and subtly seeks validation; it’s important to be proud of her project, but not take it so seriously or use it as a way to impress or attract romantic interest.
  • Acknowledges the temptation (and reward) of being validated or needed—by small business owners, suitors, or friends alike.
• Guardedness from past experience:
  • Nicole describes being “used” by friends with small businesses.
  • Nick suggests establishing clear boundaries early (“I don’t promote friends’ businesses”), and looking for a partner who has their own passions and treats her project with normal curiosity.
• Advice for Staying Grounded:
  • Nick shares his own evolution: attention feels good, but true validation and stability come from within and through real-life connections, not fleeting local fame.
  • Suggests she think through her goals with her brand. Is this a side hustle, a vehicle for ego, a potential full-time business?
  • Practical advice for dating: lead by talking about the “business” side, not the status side.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• "There's a part of you...that likes being validated...so you've ignored the red flags for the sake of being validated for your side hustle." – Nick [62:08]

• "You are using it to impress people and then you don't like it when you feel used...You're using it, and then when you get used by it, you don't like it." – Nick [65:24]

• "It's a business for me. It's work. That's all it is. It's work I enjoy, I'm lucky to do it...but it's work." – Nick [73:39]

• "Don't take yourself too seriously. You can be passionate, but remember at the end of the day you're just you." – Nick [64:15]

• "Your version is like, ‘people are weird around me and I don't even know what the big deal is’...But there's a part of you that likes it." – Nick [63:42]

Memorable Moments & General Insights

• On Intimacy in Long Relationships:
  • The importance of communication, mutual discovery, and not letting routines dull excitement.
  • The idea that "one-sided" pleasure doesn't mean the giver can't enjoy the act, mentally or emotionally.
• On Relationship Temptation & Betrayal:
  • Infidelity can happen in any relationship; it's rarely expected. Never be complacent about connection.
  • Not every moral dilemma has a clear right answer—especially when not personally involved.
• On Personal Identity & Social Perception:
  • Success, attention, or “micro-fame” is a double-edged sword; the ego boost it supplies can cloud judgment in relationships and friendships alike.
  • Be honest about what validation means to you, and check your motives before mixing business—or status—with pleasure.

Closing Note

Listeners are reminded to communicate openly, keep self-awareness in check, and approach both relationships and side hustles with a blend of humility and pride. Whether your challenge is in the bedroom, managing secrets, or balancing online and offline personas, Nick’s advice: don’t overthink or over-attach your worth to any single part of your life.