The Viall Files

Episode E1060 Ask Nick - "My Mom Cheated. Now I'm in the Middle"
Release Date: January 12, 2026
Host: Nick Viall
Household Guests: Natalie Joy, Christina

Episode Overview

This "Ask Nick" installment tackles some of the most heart-wrenching and complex relationship struggles: betrayal in romantic relationships, marriage burnout, and the emotional burden of children caught in their parents’ infidelity and divorce. Nick Viall offers compassionate, straightforward advice focused on healing, boundaries, and self-forgiveness. The episode features three poignant callers—Jessica, Christina, and Sarah—each facing a turning point in their relationships and lives.

Call #1: Jessica (Starts at 01:21)

Story: Betrayed by her long-distance boyfriend and struggling to let go

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Jessica’s Backstory:

  • Age 26, in a three-year relationship that began in person before transitioning to long-distance as she pursued PA school.
  • She discovered her boyfriend had been cheating almost the entire duration of their long-distance relationship, maintaining a parallel relationship with another woman.

• Discovery & Confrontation:

  • Jessica saw a suspicious call on his phone; after pressing him, he admitted to cheating.
  • He initially claimed the other woman knew about Jessica; later, he admitted she was in the dark, too.

• Manipulation and the Truth:

  • Feeling gaslit, Jessica set a “test” by offering to lie to the other woman for him, exposing his willingness to keep deceiving both her and the other woman.
  • She confronted the other woman, and while hurt, both women acknowledged their shared experience and moved on.

• Struggling with Healing:

  • Despite intellectually knowing to cut ties, Jessica’s having difficulty reconciling the “perfect” relationship she thought she had with the painful reality of betrayal.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Nick’s Advice on Letting Go:

  "You started this call by saying it was a perfect relationship, and then you proceeded to tell me a story that disqualified the reality of what you felt like your relationship was. So one, you gotta, you have to accept, which is hard, what your relationship was and what it wasn't. And you have to stop calling it perfect." (09:33)

• On Self-Forgiveness:

  "You chose to trust a guy and he lied to you. And this is the fallout of it, you know. But what you have to stop trying to do is to preserve the good times... It probably feels scary to say that was a total waste of my time... but sometimes it's okay to tell yourself, something shitty happened to me and I didn't deserve that. And I'm really just fucking sad." (10:32–11:55)

• On Romanticizing the Past:

  "Try not to think about these trips. Try not to ruminate about all the things he promised you that you were going to do that he didn't do. Clearly, he's just a comfortable liar. And it was all bullshit." (21:07)

Advice for Healing

• Give yourself the grace to grieve the loss—not just of the person, but of the future you imagined.
• Resist the urge to reach out for closure or more answers. There is no “why” that will heal you.
• Focus your emotional energy on yourself—acknowledge the pain, but don’t feed it by romanticizing the relationship or seeking validation from someone who betrayed your trust.

Call #2: Christina (49:26)

Story: Supporting a husband who won’t step up—for 15 years

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Christina’s Backstory:

  • 30 years old, married since age 20 to her high school sweetheart.
  • Has always played the caretaker/leader role in the relationship, while her husband is emotionally dependent and struggles with anxiety, depression, and OCD.

• “Mothering” Dynamic & Burnout:

  • Christina has supported her husband through every phase—education, emotional labor, salary, family planning.
  • Now a mother herself, Christina wants a true partnership, not just another person to care for.

• Attempts at Change:

  • Her husband is trying medication but avoids responsibility, drops new habits quickly, and lacks consistent progress (e.g., can't keep a job, doesn’t maintain household tasks).

• Marriage Counseling & Separation:

  • The couple is attending therapy (both couples counselling and, at times, personal for him), but Christina feels alone and unsupported despite efforts.
  • They have begun a trial separation, co-parenting their young daughter.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Carrying the Relationship:

  "I've been the one carrying our relationship, and I literally just feel like I can't anymore. I feel like I'm breaking down and my body has been breaking out in hives." (54:08)

• On Her Husband’s Lack of Action:

  "He tells me all the time I want to be that person too... But he'll go to the gym for a few days, then completely stop. He started therapy, then stopped that. He can't be consistent." (64:34)

• On Her Own Needs:

  "I don't want to [be the breadwinner]. In fact, I'm working way more than what feels natural to me. I want to have more kids. I want to be at home more." (65:31)

• Nick’s Empathy and Realism:

  "Your life is not going as planned. That's okay.—No one's does... I think at some point you're just going to have to make a decision and be confident in that decision, even if it's a sad decision." (68:14, 82:54)

Guidance & Support

• Christina is urged to honor her own limits; no one should have to parent their partner indefinitely.
• Nick highlights that separation gives her space to see what life could look like outside this dynamic and emphasizes not feeling guilty for pursuing her needs.
• The importance of letting go of perfection or the “dream” of the family unit, accepting that sometimes love means making hard choices.

Call #3: Sarah (96:30)

Story: Caught between parents’ infidelity, fallout, and divorce

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Sarah’s Backstory:

  • Age 28, parents married for 25 years.
  • Discovered her mother’s infidelity as a teen; her parents’ relationship devolved into emotional distance and cohabitation “like roommates.”

• The Divorce:

  • After years of urging them to separate, her father finally initiates divorce, revealing to Sarah multiple instances of her mother’s unfaithfulness.
  • Sarah acknowledges both parents’ flaws and emotional baggage, referencing their cultural background (Hispanic, therapy-averse) and personalities (father: extroverted, mother: introverted, people pleaser).

• Stuck in the Middle:

  • Sarah is the only one who knows both “sides” of the story and struggles with being her mother’s emotional confidant and her father’s sounding board.
  • She feels responsible for mediating, especially since her mother freezes under family scrutiny and refuses to confide in friends due to fear of judgment.

• Burden of Information:

  • Sarah is overwhelmed by information and emotions, both her own and those off-loaded onto her by both parents.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Nick on Boundaries:

  "You’re not their therapist, right. And you’re not their parent... I think the most you can do is probably just keep letting your mom and your dad know that you love them and accept them, whatever faults they have... It’s not your job to review [your mom’s therapy] with her and guide her through it. You can only do so much." (104:38)

• On Not Taking Sides:

  "It’s natural in a divorce for kids to be involved. It makes sense to want your kids to see your point of view or take your side... but you need to enforce a boundary: I’m not your therapist. I don’t want to hear you guys talk about the other person." (106:29)

• How to Set Healthy Boundaries:

  "It’s not fair to your kids to let them know that I still love them... It’s not my responsibility to unpack all of this trauma or relationship with them." (109:17)

• Practical Boundary-Setting Script:

  "I am not taking sides. You probably both have hurt each other over the years. It’s not going to change how I feel about you guys as my mom and my dad... but I’m not gonna take sides. I’m not your therapist. I don’t want to hear you guys talk about the other person." (107:06)

Guidance for Sarah

• Be there for both parents emotionally, but do not mediate or carry their burdens for them.
• Tell them: “I love you. I’m here for you, but I can’t listen to you talk about each other. Please save this for your therapist or your friends.”
• Help practically where possible (e.g., teaching her mom life skills), but avoid being the broker of emotional grievances.
• Enforce boundaries even if their feelings are temporarily hurt—they’ll adjust, and it’s the healthiest long-term solution.

Timestamps of Key Segments

• Jessica’s Cheating Dilemma: 01:21–48:46

  • Major confrontation: 06:13
  • Nick’s trust advice: 09:33–11:55
  • Letting go of the fantasy: 21:07
  • Practical healing strategies: 39:52–47:14

• Christina’s Marital Exhaustion: 49:26–93:44

  • Emotional burnout and marriage dynamic: 54:08–59:56
  • Separation and self-confidence: 74:56–80:54
  • Nick’s empathy, encouragement, and realism: 82:54–93:44

• Sarah Stuck Between Parents: 96:30–121:02

  • Managing over-sharing and boundaries: 102:33–107:06; 109:17–119:48
  • Advice on being supportive, not responsible: 114:00–119:48
  • Sample scripts and affirmation: 117:06–119:48

Final Thoughts & Episode Tone

Nick Viall remains a steady voice of empathy and reality, never sugarcoating the pain but always offering actionable, self-empowering advice. The overall tone is compassionate, a little raw, and deeply validating for anyone feeling used, caught between family, or mired in guilt or loss. He makes space for sadness, pushes for self-compassion, and reframes each caller’s struggle as part of the unpredictable journey of life.

If you’re struggling with betrayal, codependent relationships, or navigating family drama, this episode serves as a reminder: you are not alone, your pain is allowed, and boundaries are a gift both to yourself and those you love.