E834 Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend - The Viall Files

Transcript

Nick Viall (0:01)

After investing billions to light up our network, T Mobile is America's largest 5G network. Plus right now you can switch keep your phone and we'll pay it off up to $800. See how you can save on every plan versus Verizon and AT&T. @t mobile.com Keep and switch up to four lines via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlocked device credit service ported 90 plus days with device ineligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months. Hey, moms. Looking for some lighthearted guidance on this crazy journey we call parenting? Join me, Sabrina Kohlberg, and me, Andy Mitchell, for Pop Culture Moms, where each week we talk about what we're watching.

Anna (0:43)

And examine our favorite pop culture moms up close to try to pick up.

Nick Viall (0:47)

Some parenting hacks along the way. Come laugh, learn, and grow with us as we look for the best tips.

Anna (0:52)

And maybe a few what not to.

Nick Viall (0:54)

Dos from our favorite fictional moms from Good Morning America and ABC Audio.

Anna (0:59)

Pop Culture Moms. Find it wherever you get your podcasts.

Nick Viall (1:06)

You're crazy. What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another exciting episode of the VAL Files. Ask Nick Edition. Well, we are super excited to get to our calls because they are wild, outrageous, and fascinating. But before we do, don't forget to send in your questions to ask nick vowelfiles.com. all right, it's time for caller number.

Sabrina Kohlberg (1:39)

One question time with me.

Nick Viall (1:43)

Let's ask Nick your sexy questions. How's it going?

Anna (1:50)

I'm good. How are you?

Nick Viall (1:51)

Good. What's your name?

Anna (1:52)

My name is Anna and I am 35 years old.

Nick Viall (1:56)

How can we help, Anna?

Anna (1:57)

Well, so my husband cheated on me while I was pregnant about five years ago. And while I chose to forgive him, I'm having a hard time moving on.

Nick Viall (2:10)

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Viall Files – Episode E834 "Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend"

Podcast Information:

Title: The Viall Files
Host: Nick Viall
Description: The Viall Files delve into dating, relationships, pop culture, and reality television. Hosted by Nick Viall alongside Natalie Joy and the Household, the podcast offers heartfelt advice, lively reality TV recaps, and in-depth celebrity interviews. Episodes air daily with distinct segments for various topics.

Episode Overview: In Episode E834 of The Viall Files, titled "Ask Nick - I Blocked My Best Friend," listeners call in with personal relationship dilemmas. This episode features two main segments: one with Anna discussing lingering issues from her husband's infidelity during her pregnancy, and another with Andy Mitchell navigating tensions with his girlfriend’s sister. Nick Viall provides insightful advice aimed at fostering better communication and resolving deep-seated emotional conflicts.

Segment 1: Anna – "I Blocked My Best Friend"

Caller Background: Anna, a 35-year-old listener, shares her struggle with forgiving her husband after he emotionally cheated on her during her pregnancy five years ago. Despite choosing to forgive him and investing in marriage counseling, Anna finds it challenging to move forward fully.

Key Discussion Points:

Discovery of Infidelity: Anna discovered her husband's affair through his phone connected to her MacBook and later through phone records on their shared mobile plan.
- "[02:30] Nick Viall: Anna explains, 'All I know is it was an emotional affair. I have never gotten the full outline.'”
Impact on Marriage: The affair occurred during a tumultuous pregnancy, exacerbating Anna's emotional state and leading to ongoing trust issues despite therapy.
- "[07:17] Anna: 'Well, I guess just like when you live in a toxic relationship, your children pick that up, you know?'"
Recent Trigger: Anna received a message from her husband's former emotional partner four years later, reigniting old wounds and triggering feelings of betrayal.
- "[09:23] Nick Viall: 'What did she say?' Anna responds, 'She just like, made a joke... about the co-pilot not being as much fun.'”
Current Relationship Dynamics: Anna and her husband appear to have a stable life with two children, but underlying issues persist, manifesting in intense arguments and unresolved pain from the past.
- "[12:22] Nick Viall: 'So this is happening right now. When you guys fight, there's some big blowups.'"

Notable Quotes:

Anna (04:04): “I was a troll. And so, yeah, I kind of just obviously, he fell into it.”
Nick Viall (14:07): “Do you have has to live with this truth. He has to live with the fact that for the rest of your relationship, it may come up at times where he finds it to be unfair or inconvenient, but it's also unfair to you that you have to live with this for the rest of your life.”

Advice Provided: Nick emphasizes the importance of mutual acknowledgment of past hurts and creating a safe space for ongoing discussions about triggers. He advises Anna to communicate her lingering pain without making her husband feel attacked, suggesting that genuine empathy and occasional acknowledgments of the past can aid in healing.

Anna’s Response: Anna agrees with Nick's assessment and expresses a willingness to initiate the necessary conversations with her husband to address the unresolved issues and rebuild their emotional connection.

"[39:51] Nick Viall: So you guys are both, in your own way, trying to just be like, we have a new life. That's so in the past... you are both telling yourself the same narrative, which is like, we're good now."

Segment 2: Andy Mitchell – "Handling My Girlfriend's Sister Who Hates Me"

Caller Background: Andy Mitchell, a 34-year-old listener, seeks advice on managing his girlfriend’s sister’s animosity towards him. The tension stems from Andy’s candid remarks about the family's dog and his decision to teach his girlfriend’s four-year-old daughter the word "lesbian," which the sister found offensive.

Key Discussion Points:

Sources of Conflict:
- Dog Comments: Andy made remarks about the family dog, which is a recurring point of contention.
  - "[55:04] Andy Mitchell: ...I said that your mom's dog sucked. And she said it was a personal attack on her.”
- Teaching "Lesbian": Andy taught the word to his girlfriend’s daughter, leading to emotional backlash from the sister.
  - "[56:18] Nick Viall: ...you taught the child, your girlfriend has a four-year-old daughter. You taught her the word lesbian."
Impact on Relationships:
- The negative feedback from the sister is straining Andy’s relationship with his girlfriend, who is deeply connected to her sister.
- Upcoming family trip to Disney World heightens Andy's anxiety about potential confrontations.
  - "[66:45] Andy Mitchell: ...we leave in a few days for Disney World... I'm worried that I'm gonna say something and her sister's gonna get set off and finally confront me in person."
Communication Barriers: Andy feels that his girlfriend avoids confrontations and is hesitant to address her sister's behavior directly, leaving Andy to bear the brunt of the conflict.
- "[67:56] Andy Mitchell: No, I don't really mind it."

Notable Quotes:

Andy Mitchell (55:10): “It's... a running thing, that he's a puppy, he's not trained, he doesn't get enough exercise.”
Nick Viall (80:23): “You need to work through that. This isn't easy... Sometimes family is annoying and unfair.”

Advice Provided: Nick advises that Andy and his girlfriend need to present a united front in addressing the sister’s behavior. He emphasizes the necessity for the girlfriend to set clear boundaries and communicate expectations to her sister, ensuring that Andy is supported. Nick also encourages Andy to practice humility and prioritize the health of his relationship over being right, suggesting proactive communication and conflict resolution strategies.

Andy’s Response: Andy acknowledges the advice and expresses a commitment to improving his communication with both his girlfriend and her sister. He recognizes the need to address his own confrontational tendencies and work collaboratively with his girlfriend to foster a harmonious family dynamic.

"[83:14] Andy Mitchell: Yeah. I think so. A little bit. I mean, she's been good, but she could take another step or two up."

Conclusion: In this episode of The Viall Files, Nick Viall adeptly navigates two complex relationship issues brought forth by listeners Anna and Andy. Through empathetic listening and practical advice, Nick highlights the critical roles of communication, mutual acknowledgment, and boundary-setting in healing and maintaining healthy relationships. Both callers are encouraged to engage in open dialogues with their partners to address and resolve lingering conflicts, emphasizing that proactive and compassionate communication is key to overcoming relational challenges.

Notable Quotes Highlighted:

Anna (14:44): “... you have to acknowledge that, like, while you're happy... but it's still a very sensitive and triggering event for you.”
Andy (97:08): “... Just the confrontation. I don't love that.”

Takeaways:

For Anna: Continual communication and occasional acknowledgments of past hurts can facilitate emotional healing and strengthen marital bonds.
For Andy: Establishing a unified approach with his girlfriend and practicing humility in confrontational situations can improve familial relationships and reduce personal stress.

Final Thought: Whether grappling with infidelity or strained family dynamics, The Viall Files underscores the importance of empathy, open communication, and mutual support in navigating the intricate landscape of personal relationships.