E836 - Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Viall Files - Episode E836: Going Deeper with Love Is Blind’s Ashley

Host/Authors: Nick Viall, Natalie Joy, and the Household
Guest: Sierra (Love Is Blind Participant)
Release Date: November 6, 2024
Duration: Approximately 89 minutes

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1. Introduction and Welcome

The episode begins with Nick Viall and co-hosts Natalie Joy and Ashley warmly welcoming Sierra, a participant from the popular reality TV show Love Is Blind. The hosts express their admiration for Sierra, highlighting her journey on the show and her growing fan base.

Notable Quote:

• Ashley [01:13]: "Ashley, welcome."
• Sierra [01:14]: "Thank you for having me."

2. Sierra’s Path to Love Is Blind

Sierra shares how she was introduced to Love Is Blind by a high school friend via Instagram. Initially skeptical, she sought advice from her godbrother to ensure the show aligned with her values focused on love and friendships rather than superficial elements.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [02:13]: "I literally got out of bed and recorded my intro video in front of my closet door. Like no makeup. No anything. Very bold of me."

3. Personal Growth and Abstinence Period

Prior to joining the show, Sierra was abstinent for a year, focusing on personal development, her career, and her relationship with God. This period of self-reflection prepared her for the intense emotional environment of the show.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [05:51]: "I learned that when you're centered within yourself, when people come and go, you still remain. You don't have to feel lonely because you have you."

4. Entering Love Is Blind: Conversations and Connections

Sierra discusses her approach to the show, emphasizing her desire to find a deeper connection beyond physical attraction. Her skepticism turned into openness, leading to a strong emotional bond with Tyler, her eventual partner.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [07:08]: "I wanted to find someone who sees beyond my appearance, someone who connects with my aura and energy."

5. Past Relationships and High Standards

Sierra reflects on her previous long-term relationship with an athlete, which ended due to infidelity. Her selective nature in dating led her to Love Is Blind as her next significant relationship endeavor.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [14:37]: "I'm very, very, very picky. I don't even choose dinner easily."

6. Discovering Tyler’s Hidden Past

A pivotal moment in the podcast revolves around Tyler revealing that he is a sperm donor to a lesbian couple, resulting in three children. This revelation caused significant strain and confusion in Sierra and Tyler's budding relationship.

Notable Quotes:

• Sierra [23:12]: "He was a sperm donor for a lesbian couple. I was robbed of my choice."
• Sierra [27:09]: "I knew immediately when he said, 'I don't think so,' about whether his children knew him."

7. Navigating Trust and Betrayal

Sierra delves into the emotional turmoil caused by Tyler’s omission of his role as a sperm donor. The incident led to questioning the foundation of their trust, but through open communication, they strive to rebuild their relationship.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [64:49]: "It wasn't broken, but it was tainted."

8. Coping with Public Scrutiny and Social Media

The podcast addresses the challenges Sierra and Tyler face due to the public nature of their revelation. Social media rumors and false narratives have compounded their struggles, making private issues a public spectacle.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [43:25]: "TikTok journalism is a whole new world. People spread rumors without knowing the full story."

9. Relationship Dynamics and Personal Growth

Sierra and Tyler discuss their efforts to address underlying issues, such as Tyler’s people-pleasing tendencies and the impacts of their age gap. They highlight the importance of boundaries, therapy, and mutual understanding in strengthening their bond.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [68:03]: "Setting boundaries does not mean you're not a good person. It just means you have to prioritize yourself."

10. Future Plans and Moving Forward

Looking ahead, Sierra and Tyler express their desire to live publicly, travel together, and build a life beyond the confines of the reality show. Sierra also shares her aspirations to start a family within the next few years.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [82:03]: "We just want to continue building and enjoy being newlywed publicly."

11. Reflections on Castmates and Relationships

Sierra provides insights into her experiences with other cast members, particularly Stephen and Tim, shedding light on misunderstandings and personal growth moments that occurred during and after filming.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [84:37]: "Stephen was despicable to me, but Monica gave him grace, and I had to follow suit for my own peace."

12. Closing Thoughts and Advice

In the concluding segments, Sierra emphasizes the importance of trust, communication, and personal boundaries in relationships. She encourages listeners to prioritize their well-being and remain open to growth within partnerships.

Notable Quote:

• Sierra [64:50]: "I'm teaching him how to set boundaries and prioritize himself."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Viall Files provides an in-depth look into Sierra’s transformative journey on Love Is Blind. From personal growth and selecting the right partner to navigating unforeseen challenges and rebuilding trust, Sierra offers valuable insights into the complexities of modern relationships. The candid discussion highlights the importance of honesty, communication, and self-awareness in fostering meaningful connections.

Key Takeaways:

• Honesty and Transparency: Essential for building trust in any relationship.
• Personal Growth: Focusing on oneself can lead to healthier relationships.
• Navigating Challenges: Open communication and professional support can help overcome significant relationship obstacles.
• Public Scrutiny: Managing public perceptions is crucial for couples emerging from reality TV.

Listeners are left with a deeper understanding of the emotional intricacies involved in forming and maintaining authentic relationships, especially under the microscope of reality television.

Transcript

[Ashley]

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[Sierra]

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[Ashley]

Ashley, welcome.

[Sierra]

Thank you for having me.

[Ashley]

Thank you for having us. Thank you for being here.

[Natalie]

Thank you for coming. We're so excited. Huge fans are obsessed with you.

[Ashley]

How's your heart?

[Sierra]

My heart?

[Ashley]

Yeah, we so. Yes, I know it's heavy. We do that a lot.

[Sierra]

My goodness. My heart is great. It's doing very well, love. Thank you for asking.

[Ashley]

We are so glad to hear.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Congratulations.

[Sierra]

Thank you.

[Ashley]

On being a happily married woman.

[Sierra]

I am all right.

[Ashley]

Yes, she is.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

We are very excited to get into everything.

[Natalie]

Are we wearing a ring?

[Sierra]

No, because I was walking around town and just singing. He's a big old rock. Let me take Someone will take a.

[Tyler]

Picture and the Internet.

[Ashley]

To the finale being released. We are very excited to have you here. Well, one, we just obviously, like many fans fell in love with you and your relationship watching you on your journey.

[Sierra]

Thank you.

[Ashley]

How did you end up on the show?

[Sierra]

My friend from high school, who I don't even talk to that often, sent it to me on Instagram and was like, oh, you'd be perfect for this. And I was like, I don't know. So I called my godbrother and I was like, do you know about this show? Because I wanted to make sure it wasn't something like a little ratchet or, you know, something that would, like, my career. Yeah. So he was like, oh, no, this would be the perfect one for you to do because, like, it's solely based on, like, love and like, friendships and things like that. So I was like, okay. So I literally got out of bed and recorded my, like, intro video in front of my Closet door. Like no makeup. No anything. Very bold of me.

[Natalie]

Yes.

[Sierra]

And yeah. So I just kind of like dove in. I was like abstinent that year and I was really focusing on myself. So I was like, this could be a next step to that. And it most certainly was.

[Ashley]

Had you been a fan before?

[Sierra]

No, I am now.

[Natalie]

Watching any old seasons?

[Sierra]

I did watch season six, obviously, because, you know, I knew by that point that I was. I had just. Oh, right. And then before I went, I watched season four mainly to see what they wore because we had to make sure we didn't have like logos and things like that. So I was like, oh, let's see what they wore. And just to kind of get a gist of like the conversations that, you know, people have in the pods and just like what the dynamic was with the women, like in the lounge and things like that. Because I was like, oh, like worst come to worst, I'll just leave with a bunch of girlfriends, which I love.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Sierra]

Total girls girl.

[Ashley]

So you mentioned you were abstinent for a year before. What drove you to that decision?

[Sierra]

Dating in D.C. dating in D.C. question. Literally.

[Ashley]

Well, she implied that it was a choice.

[Sierra]

Yeah. So like, you know, it was actually December 22nd. I remember the exact date of 2000.

[Natalie]

4:00 in the afternoon.

[Sierra]

Yep. And I just was like. I left like a date with this guy and I would just call my God sister. And I remember like tearing up and being like. I just feel so, like not connected to anyone. And I feel like I'm wasting my time and my soul, my body, all of it. And I just. I'm not a casual girl. I tried to be. I wanted to see like what Sex in the City was like, you know? Yes. And I was just like, I can't do. I just. It's cool if you wanna do that, if that's your thing. I love that for you, but I just am not her. You're not a Samantha. I'm not. I love her though. She's my favorite. Samantha's your favorite? Not Carrie. But you know, Samantha's close second. Just. Cause like I live vicariously through her, I guess. Yes. And just like the boldness of her. So I tried to be that girl and it just wasn't fulfilling for me. So that year I was like, okay, I'm gonna focus on myself. I'm gonna focus on my career. I'm gonna focus on my relationship with God. And I just wanna kind of cancel all ties to anyone. So that meant not. Not even going out on dates. Cause it Just that could lead to anything, you know, And a little looker. You never know. So I was just like, I'm gonna totally cut off everything and then what'.

[Ashley]

Me will easier not to buy the cookies at the grocery store, not eat the cookies.

[Sierra]

Yeah. And then like see them sitting there like, ah, maybe, you know, Nick struggles with that.

[Natalie]

Yeah, the cookies part.

[Ashley]

Which is why I think Natalie's trying to kill me because yesterday she bought Oreos.

[Natalie]

Oh, well, I buy. I do buy things like for myself, double stuff, regular. I like thins. I like thins because I don't really love the cream.

[Ashley]

I like the double stuff. But turns out any Oreo is pretty good.

[Sierra]

I freeze them. Smart.

[Natalie]

That's something you would do, you love.

[Ashley]

Typically I like a frozen chocolate. Anyway, sorry, back to you not having sex. Well, that's a very interesting choice you made. And did you find that it worked for you?

[Sierra]

Well, yeah, apparently it did work for me, but it was hard, you know, it was boring as hell.

[Ashley]

What did you learn about yourself during that period?

[Sierra]

I learned oh, so much, um, along that journey while I was abstinent. Also was like reading self help books like this book called welcome Home by Najwa Zebian. And I just learned that when you're centered within yourself, when people come and when people go, you still remain. And so you don't have to feel lonely because you have you and no one has you better than you. And so for me, it was the greatest thing I could have done because I've always been confident. But I am a people person and I really began to love just my alone time and not considered it, consider it as lonely, but consider it as me time and just feeling whole as me enjoying your own.

[Natalie]

I feel like that is peak happiness when you can like not talk to anyone. Where I think most people would consider it, like, oh, I'm lonely or oh, I feel alone. It's like, no, I'm enjoying myself so much.

[Sierra]

Yeah, like a bowl of pasta and a glass of red wine on Friday.

[Tyler]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

[Sierra]

Is this a bad day or what? My favorite night out is a night in now. Yeah, I like that.

[Ashley]

So it sounds like you were pretty. You were almost perfectly trained to go on this experiment that is love is blind.

[Sierra]

Yeah, for sure.

[Ashley]

Going into it, once you had decided to do it and you got like the green light and they had casted you, what conversations did you have with yourself about your approach? You know, how would you know you were going to go about finding love? And then I guess how nervous Were you about whether, like, not to use the show's slogan that love is actually blind? Having seen the show and the pressure that the show can put on its castmates and just the kind of it just comes with it, I don't know if I could do it. Like, I just. I don't know if love is blind for me, you know, And I recognize there's so many other aspects to love and relationships outside of physical attraction, but I don't know. I don't know if I could do it. I guess for you, going into that, you know, experiment, what did you prepare yourself for? What did you. Yeah, what conversations you have?

[Sierra]

So, like, for me, I've never been a reality TV kind of girl. I've always been more of, like, a series kind of person. So I was a skeptic from day one, which I think they welcomed, because you don't have to believe in it fully. You just have to be open to it. So I was open to the idea of it, but I didn't know if that person really came out and wasn't someone I was attracted to, how that would really make me feel. I've always been a soul searcher. I've always been someone that tried to look at people's heart, because I feel like even with me, people in dating, they always view me for my outer appearance. I'm like, do you know who I am? I'm so much more than that. You don't even know. You're missing out so bad on just, like, the other qualities that I have. So I really wanted to find that in a guy. Because dating, I've always gone for looks, and those relationships clearly haven't worked. So although I was a skeptic, I was open to it. And I just knew that in order for me to really fall for someone that came through those doors and they weren't my type, that connection would have to translate into the in person. It would have to be something about their aura, their energy that would really make me still feel that love that I felt across the wall. And the connection was so heavy. So I reached a point when Tyler and I were dating behind the wall that I was just like, I don't care, like, what he looks like. I swear, I don't. Like, it's like, I could break this wall down right now and just like, you know, so when we finally seen each other, I was like, phew, okay, this is great. You know, like, oh, yeah. Like, you know, I'm like, you know, looks don't hurt. You know, let's Be real. You know, it doesn't. But I don't think that it would have been a determining factor if he wasn't my, you know, ideal type. You know, if it was too far off, it would have been different. It would have been a struggle. I think my mom and my friends would have been like, yeah, but again, attraction. Like, you ever see, like, a guy that's, like, not that cute and everyone wonders why you think he's cute? Because of something. Yeah, it would have to be that. Yeah. And so the conversations that I had, like, before I went or just even while I was in there is just show up as who you are and what's meant to find. You will and. Yeah.

[Ashley]

Did you have any connections with anyone else prior to really landing on.

[Sierra]

Yeah, I did. I've had. And by connections, I'll say I had great conversations when I was in there. I would say, okay, Tim. Tim was my second.

[Ashley]

Oh, Tim. Okay.

[Sierra]

That would have never worked.

[Ashley]

Very serious, man.

[Sierra]

Very serious. And in there, he wasn't, though. In the pods, he wasn't. He was more kind of, like, fun. And we're, like, all having fun behind the wall, drinking and playing games. It was cool. And then I just think, for me being such a progressive kind of woman and, like, I want to work and I want to do these things. I think he has a very Southern mentality about certain things. And so I began to shy away from that, But I thought he was a cool person for sure. But they're just conversations and not connections.

[Ashley]

It's interesting thinking about the psychology of that atmosphere and having never done it, but, like, hearing you speak about what your life is like, leading up to it. You know, you had this year of kind of enlightenment, abstaining from sex, very centered around getting to know yourself. A very deliberate year. And it sounds like you really got out of that experience what you hoped and that. And it sounds like you felt like you could truly be yourself. And it's interesting to hear you speak on Tim. How you know the person you got to know outside of the pods is not who he represented inside the pods. And I'm curious. I would be willing to bet there's probably a fairly even mix of. From not just Tim or yourself, but there's a lot. I think, what Is that true? There's a lot of people who you got to know, and you're like, yep, that's who I got to know. Or even some of the ladies you got to know versus other people. Or it's just like, wait, what? And I can't help but wonder. It seems like that type of environment would be very good at allowing people to kind of not be themselves in a way, to kind of, like, play a character in this very weird world if they weren't truly comfortable with who they were. Like, it seemed like you were, especially given the year leading up. Does that. Am I making sense?

[Sierra]

Yeah, that makes sense. I think another part of it is when we're in there, we don't have any outside influence. So we have no phones, no mom, no best friend. And so you're able to be. Yeah, maybe a different version of yourself.

[Ashley]

It almost seems like you have a lot of people go there claiming to want to find love, but in reality, what they're doing is going there to find themselves. And you had spent the year prior to that finding yourself so that you were actually ready to find love. And maybe Tim was just there to find himself.

[Sierra]

Yeah. And, I mean, I hope if that's what he got out of that, you know, experiment, then that's, you know, good for him. I think there are a lot of people like that that went there not only just to find themselves, but just to, I guess, see, just to see if this was something they were able to do. And I think that once real life hit and we're all, like, in each other's presence again, you see the physical. You see people become their pastels before they enter the pods. And that can cause a disconnect from the person that you met, you know, in there, because it's like, wait, now we're shifting? And that goes for both parties, whoever, you know, I think the ones that work are the ones who stay consistent.

[Natalie]

What were your past relationships like prior to coming on the show?

[Sierra]

So I dated an athlete. I'm sorry. Don't want to judge all of you. Yeah, I was.

[Ashley]

Was he a kicker? I was kidding.

[Natalie]

Nikki D.

[Sierra]

Yeah, like a real athlete. Sorry. Nick D. And so I knew him since I was 13. We dated since I was 19. Almost a decade. And then from there, I thought that was leading to the altar and, you know, there was some infidelity there, of course. Boo. Like, come up with a new, you know, it's old routine. Yeah. So after that, though, it took that one time for me to realize, too, that, like, I not only deserve better than this, I started to see other things too. That it's like, oh, this isn't my person. Damn. Like, did I waste all of this time? You know, So I think I got comfortable and didn't want to move on for a while. And then I was like, no, this isn't a choice. You know, like, this is what you. You have to do. So from there, I just casually dated for four years. Like, I never found. I'm very, very, very picky. I don't even choose dinner easily. Like, I know that about myself. I am an overthinker as well, which people deem as a bad thing, but it can be a great thing. And so, yeah, my dating, besides that, when I was in long term relationships, like, you know, with him, and then when, whenever we break up again, it would be flings, but nothing more. So this is my next really big one since that.

[Natalie]

Well, I guess going from all of that, how did it feel to have someone like Tyler express his love to you the way that he did? I mean, I feel like one of his lines that America fell in love with was like, I will protect you. I will make you feel safe. You make me feel safe. Like, I love the fuck out of you. Like, just the way he expressed that to you, how did that make you feel?

[Sierra]

It was an overwhelming feeling, honestly. Because it's funny, I know a lot of the times in there I say, mm, because it's like, that's what I usually, you know, I heard it all before kind of thing. Like, will you really be this person? And it was refreshing also to hear because I believed him when he said it. It was. It didn't seem like bs. And it was something I always wanted someone to make me feel. And I didn't feel like an option with him. I felt like the only option, like the only choice. Like, you know, and that was a gratifying feeling, especially because I am, like one of the most loyal people you're ever, you'll ever find in your life. Like from my friendships. I've had friendships for 25 years, so I liked that the person I ended up falling for wasn't the same that I have dated in that aspect and crying and stuff. Like, I was like, what? Like, and the thing is, I cry so much in, like, the pods. My friends are like, texting me. Like, that's the most I've seen you cry since I've ever seen, like, since I've known you. And I'm not a big crier. I cry out for, like, movies or like someone else's life, you know, but not about my own. I'm more like a let's focus kind of person. So he brought that side out of me and it was a very vulnerable state for me to be in and very scary at the same time. Especially when you've been hurt before, so it's a risk.

[Ashley]

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[Natalie]

I mean I feel like we can bounce around, of course, but.

[Ashley]

Well, I'm trying to in my head because. Well, let. Let's get to the.

[Natalie]

It kind of did come out of nowhere on the show. Yeah, the bomb of him having children.

[Sierra]

There she is.

[Ashley]

Well, we're watching it and then all of a sudden there' and it's you and Tyler, and you're very distraught, and he's apologizing, and you're kind of speaking in this, like, I can't believe you didn't tell me type of energy pro. And. And I don't know if it was a coincidence or not, but right before it seemed like those episodes dropped, there was chatter online about Tyler allegedly having children. We're like, holy, what's going on? How does he not bring this up in the pods? You know, especially all the conversation that you and Tyler had about kids. I think right after that, we had seen a convers with your father and Tyler and you all about having kids. It was just like, this is not something you just leave out. So let's maybe start there in terms of. Can you bring us into the room where I think a lot of people were wishing I wasn't this caught on camera. How did this even get brought up? And I guess how did the conversation go from there in terms of what you found out about Tyler's past? And then can you start shedding some light on what the truth is? Because there seems to be a lot of speculation and accusations and rum that are flying all over the Internet about the man that you married. And if you could set the record straight, that would be super helpful.

[Sierra]

Yeah. So the reason it seems awkward in that scene when everyone's like, what is happening? She's in this beanie, and she's, like, sitting here, you know, very serious. And I've been so giddy the entire time. Right? So the night before, ironically, me, Tyler, and Nick D. Went out to, like, a bar down the street from the complex. We all were staying in for, like, the reality part of it, and we had, like, a few drinks, and then we came back, and then he was, like, sitting on the couch, and his tone was kind of weird, and I just was like, okay. Like, I drink red wine too, so I'm, like, kind of sleepy. And he's like, I need to talk to you. And I'm like, okay, about what? And so I sit down. He's like, sit down. Oh, no. He said, sit down. I'm like, when someone says that, it immediately makes me anxious.

[Ashley]

Yeah, please don't get mad. I need to tell you something. Yeah.

[Sierra]

And so I'm like, and this worse when they text you it, and you're like, just say it. We need to talk. We need to talk. In 10 hours. Yes, but not right now. Later. It's like, just pause and don't say it. You know? So I sit down and I'm like, what? And so he's just like, sitting there staring in the weirdest way. And I go, please tell me you don't have an std. Like, oh, my. You know, because that would be. I'm sorry. Not against anyone who does, but, like, that's something I should know first again, prior to getting married and being sexually active. Right.

[Ashley]

It's also something that, if you did find out, would be difficult potentially to deal with.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

It's something you would have to learn to accept 100%. There's no yeah.

[Sierra]

And so he's like, no. And I'm like, oh, okay. I'm like, what, you got some kids or something? Oh, you guessed it. And he doesn't laugh. No, he doesn't laugh. And my heart sank to the ground. I feel like I'm put back there right now as I'm telling you the story. And I'm like, what do you mean? And so he begins to deep dive into the conversation a little. Not. Not fully. I won't say deep dive. He begins to allude to the fact that he was a sperm donor for, you know, a lesbian couple who was married. And, you know, he was afraid to tell me because he didn't want to lose me. And I was like, that's robbery. You robbed me of my choice. Because in the pods, like, all factors are at play, you know, And I was so caught off guard. We Talked from like 11 until 4am about the situation, but I didn't really ask the questions. I really wanted to in that moment because of shock and because I was just trying to get around the fact of how we had all of these kids conversations and this is happening to me. And I also was kind of like, oh, no. You know.

[Ashley]

And so do you remember, like, when you asked him, like, why do you have kids? And he just stood there. What were the first words out of his mouth in terms of, well, how did he actually describe his situation?

[Sierra]

He was like, well, yes. And I was like, how many? And he was like, three. And he said, I was a sperm donor for, you know, a lesbian couple. And at that conversation, we didn't deep dive into, like, to what capacity? Right. And so I, again, wasn't asking the right questions in that moment. I mainly was just trying to figure out how he lied. Omission is a lie. Let's be clear about that. And I remember just being hurt by all of it because I just didn't know. Because even if it was just a mere sperm donor situation at the time, that's still something. I should have known, right? So from there, you know, he was saying he doesn't want to talk about it on camera, or, you know, he doesn't want to hurt that family or, like, have people searching for them, like, these kids have to go to school, like, whatever, whatever. So I'm like, there's no way I can continue in this experiment if we don't talk about this in some capacity. Because I've been giddy the entire time and my energy is this low right now. The viewers are gonna see it. When you meet my friends, they're gonna see it. They know me. We have to talk about it in some capacity. So the next day, I leave, I get my stuff, I move back home to my own apartment. They are like, you know, come back and just have the conversation to whatever way you guys feel comfortable on camera.

[Ashley]

Did you, like, reach out to production and be like, hey, just so you know, this happened.

[Sierra]

Tyler. Tyler did. Tyler did. Okay. Yeah. He reached out to our producer.

[Ashley]

Did they have any clue at all or did he, like, what do you know about.

[Sierra]

They didn't say if they did or didn't. They didn't. They didn't say if they did or didn't. He more so was like, this is what I told her and this is what's happening. And she's like, leaving me, is what to his knowledge. And so we come back and we have a second conversation about it, kind of like on camera. And we hit the first one to where I'm shocked. And everyone's like, oh, she's so calm. She's so gracious. I'm like, yeah, because the night before was a little different. Right. And now I have time to.

[Ashley]

How angry were you?

[Sierra]

I was pissed. I was pissed. I was pissed because everyone, like, honestly, there's another guy, which sounds so shallow of me, but there's another guy in the pause that had a kid. And I knew that wasn't what I wanted for my life, so I didn't even consider him. Right. Granted, I didn't have a connection with him, but I didn't even if I did, I don't know if I would have done it.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And. And his answer, at least at the beginning, I assume you'd agree, was a bit of a cop out to like, say, well, I don't want to talk about this on camera because I don't want people searching for them. And so it's like, why didn't you think about that before you showed up?

[Sierra]

Yeah. And it's like, well, even if we don't Mention it on camera, they're gonna find it. Yeah, yeah. There's no. There are three of them. You can't hide. Like, you cannot hide. They're gonna find it.

[Natalie]

So I was about to say, I just remember at. I think it was the reveal when he was like, people are gonna start coming out of the woodworks and saying stuff about us. Did that.

[Sierra]

So. So ironically, that's funny because people are like, you know, he. He tried to Warner. He tried to Warner. You know, he. He alluded to that. That was my question, actually. I asked him, if I were to sit down with your ex right now or flings or people you dated, how would. What would they say about you? Because, for. For two reasons. One, good question. I like to. Yeah, I want to see if I can see remnants of that behavior and begin to look for it. Not that I'm searching for it, but just to begin to pay attention. And two, I want to see how you're going to answer because it's a red flag when men blame everything on a woman. Yeah, well, she was crazy. Yeah. So for me, it was refreshing for him to say, like, yeah, they probably would say I wasn't the best. And he's been vocal about that. Like, I wasn't the best dating at all. You know, and so for me, that wasn't a red flag.

[Ashley]

It's a great question. And any healthy person who has a past who gets asked that question should be able to point out a couple of annoying things they do that every ex they've ever had has brought up 100%. You know, and it's just. It's more of a. Like, hey, these are my annoying habits. They aren't necessarily things that you need to. I mean, you could be insecure about them because they're probably bad habits that you haven't figured out yet, but they're not. They shouldn't be, like, non negotiables that, like, people leave you for. But these are. That's a great question. To see how self aware someone is and how much they've learned about who they were in relationships. And if they don't have an answer, even if they're not even talking shit, yeah, that's a red flag.

[Sierra]

Yeah, like 100%. Like, I feel like in past relationships I've been top tier, but on reflection, I know there are things that I did that didn't help. Right. And so if you can't even say that, like, if you can't even say, like, yeah, it takes two to tango, then that's a problem. So whereas other people seen it as a red flag, I seen it as a green flag in that moment.

[Natalie]

And, well, that does give context, because I'm glad to know that you were the one, because it was. It came very random of him being like, just so you know, people are gonna start saying crazy shit about me. And it was like, whoa, what's going on? Yeah, your question wasn't in there. I'm glad that.

[Sierra]

Yeah. And so then, like, fast forward, we have that minor, you know, conversation to where I'm, like, truly hurt and just want to give the viewers a little glimpse at what I know to some capacity. And then they show us again, like, when it's dark and we're having another conversation. And I ask him, do they know what you look like? And he says, oh, my God, I don't think so.

[Ashley]

He pauses, looks to the. And goes, tell.

[Sierra]

That's a tell. You know, people have tells immediately. I knew immediately.

[Ashley]

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think immediately.

[Sierra]

What does the hell does think mean? Right? So immediately from there, when he says that, I knew. So that evening, we had another conversation, and that's the conversation that I learned it all.

[Ashley]

So at this point, are you trying to juggle between what you need and want to know while simultaneously trying to respect his privacy?

[Sierra]

Yeah. And even my mom was just like, this is a very sticky situation, Ashley. So how you guys approach it needs to be, you know, right? Because she's like, they will taunt these kids in this family if they want more, you know, more information. I'm like, yeah, but at the same time, if it does come out and I don't talk about it, they'll think I'm shocked, which they end up thinking, I don't know, like, why they think I wouldn't know this. But regardless, I felt it had to be said in a way. So it was hard for me to nav. I'm just so used to being very transparent that it was hard for me to navigate that conversation, too, to try to make sure I didn't divulge anything. Like, he said, you know, there are three of them as a lesbian couple, like, you know, whatever offline, you know, he shows me pictures. That was more questions. And as I began to talk to him, his friends, his mom, and his family is when I began to get a fuller picture of what was actually going on. And that's when I found out that, you know, the ex wife had left and Tyler stepped in, which the ex wife's name is on the son's birth certificate. I've never seen the twins birth certificate. And when the ex wife left, she was pregnant with the twins. And Tyler grew up without a father. His father's like dying of bone cancer. He wasn't even invited to our wedding. And Tyler's like, when I gave my sperm, I gave it to a family, not for you to be a single mom. And that's when he jumped in. That's when. And for me, I guess the reason that it was easier for me to understand once, talking to friends and him and, you know, going deeper is. Going deeper is my God brother's gay. He was in my wedding, he was a bridesman. And you know, at one point when I didn't know how my life was going, you know, we laughed and joke about it. I could never do. I could never donate my eggs to a close person because if it comes out looking like me or something, I couldn't be around. Whereas Tyler did. He was around for holidays. And for me, that's how my godbrother is. He's at every holiday, every, everything with me. So he was around, you know, he let them call it. They knew him as their bio dad. And it's very taboo and very odd to think about, but I don't think there's any rule book to how adoption, sperm donning or egg donation should go. I do think that it was a mistake on his behalf to blur those lines so heavily because of the kids. Not even just the woman, but the kids. And I know she wanted him to mainly be a part for the boy. Mainly not even the girl. You don't. You very rarely see him with the girls here and there, it's mainly the boy. And Tyler stepped up and he was like, sure, I'll be their dad. He's like picking up from daycare sometimes, like, they're friends. They lived in the same building. Yeah, they lived in the same building. On top of that, when you tell.

[Ashley]

This story, I mean, the only thing that I think is probably surprised or hard for people to grasp, even me, it's just more like kind of like, what a beautiful story. And as opposed to, like being afraid to share it. Why, why not be proud? Because what he stepped up and what he's doing, especially like, Love is Blind, what a great story. Like, I mean, you would think that, you know, even producers would love that about him if they knew about it. But yeah, why was he so insecure about that getting out?

[Sierra]

So 100%. And for me, like, when I specifically seen the boy, it like, Kind of broke my heart a little bit because he looks a lot like him. And I just, like, loved him immediately through a picture because I love Tyler so much. So it was very awkward for me to navigate as well. But this is the reason why it came a point where Tyler. So a lot of the pictures, they're younger, like, whatever. He was never, ever, ever around on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthly basis. There were times he wouldn't see them at all. Like, he lived in Arlington. They've never been to his apartment. Like, things like that. He tried to back and, like, back off at certain points. And I know that she wanted him present. And he was trying to navigate, like, how to be there for them and also be her friend as well. And, like, they were in the army together. Like I said, like, this is not just a stranger. And so I think it would be. It's hard for people to digest, too, because in a normal sperm donor situation, I mean, you can pick and choose your involvement, but most of the time, you aren't that involved unless it is like a sister or like a friend or whomever. So he came to a point where he. Whenever she would be in a new relationship, you know, with the new woman, she wants to have a family with a woman. And he would always be on the outside looking in. He has no rights. He can't deter. Say, where they go to school. He can't say anything. He can't discipline. He can't do anything. So to him, he's like, I pop up and I'm an uncle, and I play with them, and I kiki, I wear these dad T shirts that your grandma. The grandma her mom is giving me, you know, and put on this, you know, face. But this is not my family. I'm on the outside looking in. And originally I did this to help someone else. And then I put myself in this very uncomfortable situation. And that's why I tell people I think he was a good guy that got too deep and didn't know what to do next. So when he finally decided to cut the situation off, of course it's awkward and it hurts him as well to know about the kids. But he felt like it was better to do it now than to wait any longer. And he's like, I want my own family. Like, I want my own things. Whereas she's probably like, well, damn, like, you were around, you know, why do this now? They just have two different perspectives, I would say. And I think that even Tyler's friends and parents. And again, it's kind of a Little difficult for me to talk about this because I wasn't there. I'm only going off of the things that I know and things I'm trusting. And if anything ever comes out differently, I'll do like a Reese Tisa and give you guys. But I'm just going, Tyler, I'm just. Yeah, yeah. And so they basically said the same thing. Like, you know, yeah, he was around, he let him calm down. But like they were young, like, whatever, and he just didn't feel like that was his family. And again, it looks bad, but it's. If you realize it's always holidays, it's always an event. It's always something like he's around on the floor playing with them. It's never like an intimate moment with these kids. It is. He was always supposed to be an uncle. And even the ex wife said it, you know, and then this is the thing about like, oh, he was sleeping with her. It's like, what are you trying? Like, what is going on? There's so many false narratives.

[Ashley]

I mean, that makes a lot of sense, the context you provided. I mean, just thinking about it as a new dad, you know, I couldn't imagine what it'd be like. Here he is, you know, he probably made a decision again out of the goodness of his heart, maybe didn't even think it through. I think. I don't think any guy who gives away their sperm, you know, they're probably not even thinking about what's going through.

[Sierra]

Men are like women in that way, you know, like.

[Ashley]

Like, I remember when I was in college, like I never did, but I remember being like, I need a few bucks, let's do that. And then I remember being, wait, like, what if I did that? Like, but I, you know, you kind of get close to thinking, what's the big deal? And then all of a sudden he becomes this father. The situation happens. He's asked to be a part of it, but he, like you said, he has no rights.

[Sierra]

No rights.

[Ashley]

No rights for to really put his input in. So what a weird. What a weird situation to try to even navigate. I can imagine the challenge of, like, what is my role here?

[Sierra]

I will say she wrote me on Instagram and apologized to and Tyler and said she's praying for us. And she didn't. Never meant for it to go this way. And she won't say too much on this forum.

[Ashley]

Did she make a public statement?

[Sierra]

Yeah, she made a public statement and then deleted everything.

[Ashley]

It was at the public statement that was like saying how she doesn't know why Tyler is.

[Natalie]

And posted a bunch of photos of him with the kids.

[Sierra]

Yeah, that's that one. Yep. But she also wrote me and apologized and said that, like, it's completely understandable if I never want to respond. And, you know, she. Sure. My world is crazy right now. She never intentionally meant to cause me any pain. Like, she won't say too much in this message, but. Yeah. And so I'm like, well, you're kind of causing it too, because you came out there and did that. But I did welcome the message. I told her I'm surprised, but I welcome this because regardless, if we never talk to you or the kids again, like, it's still a thing. And so I wouldn't mind having a sit down with you. Like, I want to know what the motive is here. Like, even his mom, like, when I talk to her, she's like, it is exactly what he's saying. And it used to be so uncomfortable for her, you know, because she poses all her grandkids, and so it's like, what do I do? She. They've. She's seen them maybe twice.

[Ashley]

Wow.

[Sierra]

You know, they don't know her in the way that people are trying. She's reposting pictures and things like that. I think that, again, if you have met Tyler for five minutes, this is. This is the thing that really gets me is the assassination of his character. And I'm not here to defend him. I just have to. I have to say this. If you meet him for five minutes, you will see how genuine he is. He's a people pleaser. And I hate that about him.

[Natalie]

And we had him on really.

[Sierra]

And it's not a good trait to me because you will sacrifice yourself for other people. And that's why he's hurt and shocked by what the mom is doing. Right.

[Ashley]

Did he have any conversations with her post filming?

[Sierra]

No. So when. So when he decided to cut Ties, she was upset.

[Ashley]

So before he went in and filmed Love is Blind, he had cut ties with her 100%.

[Sierra]

I didn't realize that. 100%. And he had a conversation with her. I don't know the exact time frame. Let's say a year or two before when he started, started slowing down and, you know, coming around and basically said something along the lines of, you know, I just don't have a connection with these kids. And she's hurt because she's like, well, why? Why don't you? Because they're still kind of your kids. Like, why don't you have a connection? He's like, you Know this is your family and this is what I originally signed up for. I know I stepped in to try to help. I know I said I'd be there for the twins. You were by yourself. You know, it. And twins made it worse, you know, and so biologically, these are still his kids. So he feels a certain way, but he's like, I can't do this. And she's like, why she was disappointed. And I can see, you know, why she was disappointed as well. But he's like, you know, I just don't want to have any connection with you or them because if I talk to you, although you've been my long term friend, there's no way I wouldn't be able to not talk to the kids. And I think it's best if I remove myself.

[Natalie]

Did she only want him involved once her ex wife left?

[Sierra]

I think he was involved around. Like even the ex wife kind of said like he was around, but kind of in like an uncle capacity. And I don't think that, you know, she wanted him around as much. Like even when she got divorced, she tried to fight for custody and that's when Tyler went for the sperm donor mom's like, side and basically was like against her to make sure that that woman could keep all of her kids and that the ex wife couldn't take the kids. I think she wanted him in a more. In a bigger capacity once she left. I'll say that it's not that he wasn't around before that he was, but she wanted him around in a bigger capacity because now she's by herself, which sucks, and now she's engaged and with a whole nother woman. So it's time. So there's that. So they scrubbed that Instagram too, so they're not the only one scrubbing.

[Ashley]

So right now, I mean, before we got into his ex. Well, not even his ex, his ex friend. I can now understand why Tyler did what he did, how you responded, and even why the show, the way it's aired, didn't do you guys any favors because it, it looks like he is not being forthcoming. Like we're still watching it now. Kind of like, what truth?

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

You know, on that aspect, I could appreciate why even her is also confused by how, how it's aired. But what I am confused about is that seems like you guys have had some interactions and she knows. Does she know why? If she got the heads up in terms of like what she might expect once you guys talked about it. How much did Tyler anticipate this being a Topic.

[Sierra]

That's so a topic that's aired on the show.

[Ashley]

Yeah, yeah. Because once it was aired, you would think that she would respond to it.

[Sierra]

So. So, ironically, we knew it would be mentioned, but I always knew this would be a big thing once it aired. Even if he was just a regular sperm donor. Like, I knew. And it wasn't like, blurred lines. I knew it would be a big thing because humanity has trouble comprehending and understanding anything taboo or out of their norm. So I was the one saying, she's coming. I guarantee you. When he was like, she would never do that. She would never do that. So there was no conversation with her or anything. Like, he. Because I was like, maybe reach out. I know that y'all are in the best terms, and maybe reach out and just say, hey, this is coming out. So, like, we couldn't even do that.

[Natalie]

Who do you think put it out for the world to see? Because it came from the grandma you think it was.

[Sierra]

No, it did. She came up with the whole TikTok of all the pictures of Tyler. And I, again, am repeating what I know. The grandma is like, you'll never see pictures of. I'll say it this way. You'll never see pictures of her daughter with her wife or with her LGBTQIA partner ever. So that's where the dad T shirts and dad's dad's son come at play. And this is what I've seen my firsthand, and this is what I've heard from people who know both parties, because they were an army, so they have mutual army friends. She never liked that about.

[Ashley]

She didn't accept that about her daughter. It doesn't seem like.

[Sierra]

So now there are videos. Like, that's your dad. You know who that is? You know who you're playing with? That's your dad. Right.

[Ashley]

So grandma's projecting the narrative that she has.

[Sierra]

And I genuinely feel like. And if Bri ever sees this, like, I think that that's why the sperm donor mom reached out to me and apologized, because I think she's in an uncomfortable situation of feeling like people are adding pressure on her to be this person that I don't think she is. If Tyler's a bad guy, why would you want to do it again? You know why. Why? That'd be a mistake. It's like, you sleep with the guy once, and it's a mistake. You don't. I mean, maybe sometimes you go back, but.

[Natalie]

But a kid is a whole different thing.

[Sierra]

Yeah. You try not to make that same mistake.

[Ashley]

What else is she saying? About him.

[Sierra]

Who? The sperm donor mom?

[Ashley]

Yeah. Sperm donor mom? Yeah.

[Natalie]

What's sperm donor mom?

[Sierra]

I don't know. It was just that one thing. And then she reached out and she apologized, and Tyler was. Honestly, that was the hardest part, is just seeing Tyler struggle during a time that should have been just about our love story. So I think once she apologized, she kind of felt bad. And, like, she seemed at. You know. And I said, like, yes. Getting beat up on social media is never fun is what I told her.

[Tyler]

So they've both apologized.

[Sierra]

The grandma and. No, just. Just her. She'd apologize to me, only not even Tyler.

[Ashley]

Grandma's not apologizing?

[Sierra]

No, grandma's not gonna apologize.

[Natalie]

Is grandma still posting?

[Sierra]

Nah. No. She apparently made her page private and Tyler, because Tyler had a really, really bad day and it was a really, really hard time. And I know that Tyler reached out to Brian that second from the dog's page because. Because there she's. He's blocked.

[Ashley]

Wait, who's this again?

[Sierra]

Our dog's page. So our dog Kobe has a Instagram page. Tyler reached out to the sperm donor mom on the dog page and basically was like, look, like, what are you doing? Like, stop. Like, stop. Stop this. And I guess she was concerned with, like, him being attacked, you know, and then she made her. She deleted everything, which was appreciative, but at the same time, everyone already has it. It's already out there. Yeah, it's already social media. Like, it's five seconds. And, you know, grandma unintentionally intentionally did.

[Tyler]

Exactly what Tyler was trying to prevent.

[Sierra]

From happening, which is like, you're exposing your kids, you're exposing your daughter, you're making this entire thing about yourself. And you're not gonna have to deal with any of the repercussions of it. Nope, none. And it's cloudy. The thing about Tyler, too, that he kept saying that I kind of was like, okay, Ashley, show a little sympathy, even though I was pissed, is like. He's like, I've done enough. Like, I've already. Like, eventually the kids will probably forget me, but, like, I don't wanna do anything else to this family. So, like, I don't wanna really talk about this, Ashley, but I will, because I want you. But, like. And I don't want you to quit this experime. But at the same time, I don't want to go in too deep. So that's why I also kind of am sitting there and contemplating thinking as I'm talking in those scenes that you see, because I don't Know what I'm allowed to say? And the very thing that we tried to avoid happened. I mean, the kids birth certificate is online. It's sick. So the very people who are creating TikToks with their false journalism. TikTok. I just got a TikTok for the first time and I wish I never had it.

[Natalie]

No, it's people.

[Sierra]

It's a whole new world.

[Natalie]

People spread rumors and they're like, it's called journalism.

[Sierra]

It's law, right? It's law now because someone sent you a screenshot with a contact named Tyler. I can do that right now. I could do xa, tell my God, and it's Kobe. Text me, right? Text me some stuff right now so I can make it look like, you know, and put their contact name in it. Show me the number, blur it out, right? So that's that. And take people. Take the TikTok journalism and run with it. Now people are writing to me like, girl, have you seen? And who do you think has a better view on what the hell is going on? You or me? This is a year later. This is a year later. And frankly, no matter what he came with, when I said I did, I said I do to all of it. Right? That's what marriage is. And we're in a generation where unconditional love is not a thing. And there are conditions with people. And to me, when they haven't found their person and it shows.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Sierra]

Truly.

[Natalie]

I think people want to paint him to be this stereotypical man who's like, a piece of shit. And it's like, sorry, that's just not who he is today.

[Sierra]

And she knows it.

[Ashley]

And unfortunately, a lot of the people who watch this show aren't watching from a lens of rooting for love.

[Sierra]

Absolutely not.

[Ashley]

They're watching through the lens of every fucking person's like my ex. And they're all pieces of shit, whoever these people are. And so, yes, it's a little bit of that.

[Sierra]

Even when they loved us. Remember that moment when they loved us. Like, we still have like 50%, they love us. But like, you know when they loved us and they were like, oh, Ashley and Tyler for like, OG 90s love in early 2000. I'm kicking my feet on the wall. All of that they stare were like, something's wrong with them. We're gonna find it.

[Ashley]

Well, you know, it's too good to.

[Sierra]

Be true, you know, and that, I.

[Ashley]

Mean, I'm a little bit like that. I mean, the too good to be true stuff, the praying every night, you know, when I see stuff like that. I'm like.

[Sierra]

And also that was me. Tyler is the kind of person. I also want to say that I am the one. Not that Tyler doesn't have his own faith, but I am the one with.

[Ashley]

You led that.

[Sierra]

I led it. And we talked about it in the pause. It wasn't shown, but, like, about how important my faith is with me. He was like, he doesn't know, you know how to pray sometimes. And I was like, there's no right way to pr. You just have to start. And so that's why it looks like we're doing it so much, because I was trying to get him to feel comfortable around me, to be intimate in that way.

[Ashley]

That was him doing something that he knew was important to you. And then he was taking the initiative as a. Okay.

[Sierra]

Which makes so much more sense. Yes, 100%.

[Ashley]

Because it kind of comes across potentially as performative because you never really know early on when you see something early on that may be too good to be true. We just wonder if it is.

[Sierra]

Yeah. One of his friends, Oliver, after the wedding, came up to me and said something along the lines of, I really also, I wanted to say thank you. This was a beautiful wedding, beautiful reception. He was like, I just wanted to say also thank you for helping lead Tyler, you know, back to God. And like, you know, that was always important to me as a friend. He was in the army as well, and he was like, me and Tyler would have conversations about that, but he, you know, I don't know if he was comfortable enough speaking the way he does now. And so I was like, oh, that was a compliment to me. And I love that he said that.

[Ashley]

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[Natalie]

I want to jump a little bit to your relationship with your father.

[Sierra]

I'm so happy to talk about this.

[Natalie]

You kind of open up on wedding day when you're talking to your grandma and you're talking to your mom and you're saying like, I took certain things from your relationships and then there's certain things that I was like, I absolutely don't want this for my relationship. What was your relationship like with your dad growing up? Was he around?

[Sierra]

So my father was married to my mom from age one baby until 10. They got divorced when I was 10. Okay. And my father, as he's gone viral for his suaveness. Yes, he has. It's all, hey, they hey daddy Usher song. It's going viral with it and it makes me want to throw up so.

[Ashley]

I can see it. He's a charming guy.

[Sierra]

Yeah. Yeah, definitely charming. He was a woman, you know, womanizer guy. Yeah. So ironically, in 2021, I found out I had two brothers that I didn't know about that he had during the time period that he was married to my mom. And we already knew about one of them, but we didn't know about these two. Ironically, one of them went to high school with me. Oh. Oh. The same one that went to high school with me lived in my neighborhood and his brother was one of my really good friend. So he wrote me on Instagram in 2021 and was telling me, and I was like, this guy's trying to talk to me from high school. And then I open it and it's a voice note of like, I did my ancestry and your dad's my dad. And I'm like, I'm so sorry that to hear that I have enough loved ones in my life, I don't need anymore click, you know? And I felt bad, but I just didn't. I'm 30. Like, I don't need this. So then he wrote me again. And then his brother called me, who I knew from high school, and he was like, you might as well give him a chance because he never to stop. And boy, am I glad that I did because I met them and we hit it off immediately. And I told them one day, like, I think, like, the second time we hung out, I was like, fuck. I like, I wish you guys weren't cool, because I really didn't want to do this. But we ended up. We're super close now. Ironically, I've only known them for. Since 2021. So my dad, where everyone's like, oh, your dad. I can't wait till her dad gets on Tyler. My dad don't have no room to talk about anything. So my dad and I's relationship was strained for years and years and years. And it took probably the last five years for us to get close. And I'll tell you why. I've learned along my growth journey that you just have to meet people where they're at. Some people would die that way. My grandpa died that way. When you meet people where they're at and you accept people for who they are, you have a better relationship with them because you're not trying to change them into the image that you want them to be. And I used to always want the dad on the tv. Like, I used to want that so bad. And then I realized that's just not my story. And so my dad is the guy who owns yachts and restaurants. And we drink for free. And I bring my. And we party.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And it sounds like your mom's awesome.

[Sierra]

My mom's great. My mom's my confidant. My mom's my best friend. My mom is my reason. You know, she is. Wow. I get emotional about my mom, but, like, she is everything to me. And whenever I say, like, I have a role model, it's my mom. So. Yeah.

[Natalie]

Why is it your mom?

[Sierra]

She was just really, really strong. My brother, she had my brother at 18 and his dad wanted nothing to do with him, so she raised me and my brother, but, like, she raised me to be very bougie. And I'm like, how did you do that? Like, I can barely, like, you know, like, take care of myself. But you were. You had me in everything. You never missed a beat. Like, you know, anything I ever wanted, I had. And I don't know how she did it. She always says the Lord, but I don't know how she did it. And she is like superwoman to me. I. My brother has, like, five degrees. He has a doctorate. Like, we beat the stereotype, right, of being raised by a single mom. And so that's why I sympathize with Tyler and why he handled that the way as well, because I know it. And my mom never let us really see her cry. Like, you know, she always says, like, I was her motivation. I was really wise at a young age. They call me an old, young lady. And my mom, that's why I wanted to make sure at my wedding that she was honored. And she was the one to give me away to Tyler because she did the heavy lifting. While my dad and I have a great relationship now, and we have fun. She is. She's my person, and she is the one who did it all.

[Ashley]

That was a great moment when you walked down the aisle, and your mom was definitely like, I got it from here.

[Sierra]

Thank you so much. Yeah, it was pretty. I thought bad when I was kind of like, my dad's lucky to be here. It's a bitchy moment, but it also is kind of like, for real, though. Yeah, but for real, though. I mean, it.

[Ashley]

It makes a lot of sense given the context. I don't even know if you remember, because we just watched the. The wedding, but right before you walked down the aisle, your dad was drifting.

[Sierra]

A little bit about the sun, the.

[Ashley]

Moon, and you seemed a little annoyed.

[Sierra]

I was. I was. Sorry, Dad. I was. I was so confused on what, Like, I'm about to walk out. Like, are you performing?

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Sierra]

He's, like, talking about rain, and the cameras got to him, you know, and then I think he was just overwhelmed by seeing me, too. And you know what I really think. I don't think he ever thought he would be there. And so he was overwhelmed by seeing me in that moment and seeing that I was an adult and he probably still views me as a kid.

[Natalie]

Your story resonates so much with, like, the way that I grew up. I had a very absent father who, you know, now it's me who puts in the effort to. To have him a part of my life. And it's very much like me and my siblings have all agreed he's not the dad role. He doesn't know how to play the dad role. But once you accept that he just doesn't have the dad in him, then like you, he's good, he's great. Like, it's when you expect him to not do dad things.

[Sierra]

Yeah, some people shouldn't be. Some people shouldn't be parents. That's just what it is. Some people just aren't. They don't have that gene, you know what I'm saying? And that doesn't make him a bad person. He is so good to friends. He is so good to family. He. He is so personable. You'll like him as soon as you meet him. The production team, they were like, oh, my God, your dad's so great and he is for who he is. He just isn't a good dad. He's my father, you know?

[Natalie]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Ashley]

That makes a lot of sense. I really appreciate you adding context to, to Tyler's situation. I'm sure a lot of people listening are wondering, especially that Tyler kind of cracked. That seal has entered into these kids lives. They seem pretty. Still pretty young.

[Sierra]

Mm, yeah, I think they're like 7 and 5 or something.

[Ashley]

But time goes fast and they'll be 18 at some point. Have you guys had. Have you, you and Tyler have had conversations about. Almost kind of similar to finding out you have a brother. When that day happens, if these children decide that they want to have a relationship with their biological father. Have you guys talked about what conversations or what you guys will do about that?

[Sierra]

Yeah. So even during filming, I think I say something along the lines of like, I had to figure out what. When I chose to say, I'll give this another try, you know, with Tyler, I had to also think about what happens if they do come. Right now, they're removed because you removed yourself. But what happens if they do turn 18 and there's no rules to this and they say, I am going to contact you or even 16, 15, whatever. They have social media, they have iPads. These kids working better than us. So I'm like, what does that look like? I could not in good faith say yes to a marriage unless I was okay with that coming. And I asked him what that's like for him and he's like, he's willing to have that tough conversation with them on why, you know, you were supposed to have two moms. That is always what the plan was. And things got blurry and things Got too deep. And I'm sorry if you were ever hurt in that process when you were young, he says, and I was like, do you think you're really going to be able to say that to him? He's very confident in that way because he just doesn't see what he did as a negative thing. He does see the misfortune in how it went about in the end. He's like, that lady loves, love, love. Some kids, like, you know, they're taken care of. Like, he doesn't feel like they're in an uncomfortable or, you know, bad home or anything. So for me, I would welcome it. Like, that means I will only have to have one. You know, I don't have to, like, go through that. But, like, that happened before me. He didn't have kids on me. This is all before me. So I have to kind of take his lead on where he wants to go with that. And I don't want to ever put him in an uncomfortable situation because of things that I want, so. Or not saying I want that, but I'm just saying. Or things I'm okay with or have looked into.

[Natalie]

I know you said, like, one of your biggest fears is giving birth. And as someone who gave birth eight months ago, it was the most magical, amazing thing ever. Yes. And I know a lot of women like to, like, it's scary.

[Sierra]

It's scary.

[Ashley]

Don't do it.

[Sierra]

It's awful.

[Natalie]

It's scary. It's not. It's truly, like, epidural, of course, but, like, it was magical.

[Sierra]

My mom always says once you. Once you get the kid in your hands, it's all worth it, truly.

[Natalie]

You, like, black out and you forget everything, but it's like the. A rush of feelings that you will never experience in any other part of life or doing anything else. It's. It's truly magical.

[Sierra]

Wow.

[Ashley]

And this was after. There were a couple moments of like, I'm never doing this again.

[Natalie]

Yeah, it was very true.

[Ashley]

She told me to seriously look into surrogacy if I wanted to have kids.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Yeah, I did just want to throw that out there.

[Sierra]

That's really not bad. That's good to know.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Skydiving. How was that?

[Sierra]

So, you know, he had to go skydiving after all this. I was like, this is not even a choice.

[Ashley]

And I feel like we got this out there. But I want to be very clear to our audience. Audience, prior to you even skydiving or saying yes to him at the altar, you had a very honest conversation. It sound like you're it sounds like you're. Your mom was even involved. The show doesn't really show that at all. And it's very unclear how much you know about Tyler's situation. But you knew all of this prior.

[Sierra]

To saying yes, 100%. And at this point, we should have just filmed it, unfortunately, because it now.

[Natalie]

It feels like it's. More damage has been done because of what the Internet is spewing than what you could have just said.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And Tyler didn't know what he should or shouldn't say. We can debate whether. Yes, we all agree he should have said it, but we understand why. And then at that point, once. Once it came out, he was still trying to protect the kids and his friend not realizing what she was going to do. And that's why.

[Sierra]

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, again, we did try to do it to protect the kids. And I don't really feel bad for making us talk about it because, again, I think it would have been worse. But for some reason, viewers think that when we go into this experiment that, well, you put your lies up here, we get to judge everything. Well, yeah, it took a capacity to an extent. Yes. Because we also still have personalized and families that didn't sign up for this stuff. So there are things about my mom or about other things that I. Or my dad or grandma that I wouldn't share on camera, even about myself. There are things that production always tells us, like, share what you're comfortable sharing. Right. And so I think that they're very. The viewers are very, very entitled. But I get it.

[Ashley]

You have to remember there's millions of them.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And most of which are normal. But 1% of millions is still a lot of annoying fucking people.

[Sierra]

Yeah, exactly.

[Natalie]

The 1% is the loudest.

[Sierra]

Yeah. And so, like, it's like, okay, guys, like, yeah, maybe we should have talked about it, but aren't you glad you got a glimpse? No. You want more? So, yes, we. I definitely. We had so many. So many conversations on camera. And also, it's a sentence I say that wasn't shown where I say something along the lines of during our, like, my beanie moment, where I'm like, look. Yeah, that was a mood. I'm like, look, I'm not saying that I'm going to, like, go through with this all the way. I'm saying that along my way of trying. We don't have that long for these, you know, days. Our days feel like weeks at a time in this scenario. I'm like, all I know is I don't want to argue every day. I don't want to be malicious every day. And that's a big testament to my growth, because I was. I could hold a grudge, you know, but I didn't want to do that. I wanted to make sure that the little bit of time we had, I needed to use all of it. So we were doing this, like, one hour a where we would talk about it one hour a day. And after that hour, that's it. Like, we'll table it. Let's go do this date, you know, let's go hang with friends. Because I didn't want to live in that moment. Our love story was so much more than that blip. And not saying that the children are a blip because they'll attack me for that, but like I'm saying, then that blip of dishonesty and that blip of omission. And I'm a big person of trust. And so it was it. That was hard for me because omission is a lie, and I wanted to make sure that this was just a mistake and out of character flaw.

[Natalie]

Did you feel like the trust between you and Tyler was broken at that moment?

[Sierra]

It wasn't broken, but it was tainted.

[Ashley]

Okay, well, that was my question, and I thank you for bringing this up, because we all go into relationships and we all say trust is paramount. I need trust. You know, if you break that trust, I'm gone. And that all sounds great until you, like, live a situation that's a lot more nuanced and unsure. And even in relationships, people omit things. People lie to your face. How did you two work through this violation of trust at such an early stage of your relationship?

[Sierra]

That's a great question. I think just continuing the conversation, I will say that the pods or just the whole experiment taught us a lot. I've never had this great of communication with any guy in my entire existence. I think that in the pause, they encourage you to have the tough conversations because you have such a short time to get to learn someone. So you know their traumas before you know their likes. And they're fun. So every day that's what we were doing is literally just continuing the conversation. And I also told him, I was like, there are gonna be days. I'm not in the best of moods either. How are you gonna. How are you gonna navigate that? Because maybe I just, like, I'm having a day where I'm trying to figure out, like, what is this gonna be like? Like what? Like, what is it gonna be like when it airs I considered that. He didn't really. I don't think he was very naive to what this was gonna be when it aired. As far as the trust and, like, how to rebuild. There's no rule book for that either. Or a blueprint. I wish there was. I just had to, like, deep dive, like, or take a leap of faith and just say, like, okay, this. I see this man and I know him. And the people who ever meet him, it could be at Target. And the way he treats people, there's no way this is that guy. You or guys. You guys are mischaracterizing online. People are good, but they ain't that good. And damn sure not for a year. Nope. No, no.

[Ashley]

Like, what have you done to work with Tyler about his people pleasing? Because it's crazy. You tell this story, and what's crazy about the story is that, like, he almost lost you. I'm going to safely assume one of the best parts of his life, his now wife. For people pleasing.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

I mean, what he did for his friend is a noble thing. It was a great thing. And then for him to also enter into this family when her partner left, another noble thing. But should he have done it? You could argue maybe not. Like, his reasoning for doing is because he wanted to be the. He wanted to do the right thing. And it almost completely blew up in his face. And then he told you, but he wanted to do the right thing. But it's like, this is a him problem and an adult man. Like, it's. It's crazy how even trying to do the right thing could have a great cost to it. And it almost did. Like, how are you guys working through that as a couple? Because you have seen firsthand just how dangerous people pleasing can be.

[Sierra]

Yeah. This is a conversation I have with him a lot. Like, even at, like in work or wherever, like, there are boundaries. There are boundaries. You can be a good person. I hate when he like, oh, he's like, I'm just friendly. No, like, you can be a good person and still have boundaries. You can say no to your friends, like when they need something. Some days there are also times where you're not mentally available or emotionally available and you still pour into people and now you're drained at the end of the day and I'm taking care of you, you know, like, no, tell people I'll check in with you the next day. So I'm teaching him how to be mean. Not mean, but set boundaries and to stick to them and to be okay with that. And notice that setting boundaries does not mean. Mean you're not a good person or that you're not there for someone. It just means that you have to prioritize yourself. Yeah. Put yourself first. Yeah.

[Natalie]

You seem very emotionally brilliant. I mean, like, does that. Do you think that comes from your mom? I mean, how do you.

[Ashley]

How.

[Natalie]

How are you like this?

[Sierra]

Like people used to say when I was younger, it's like a wise young lady. I don't know. I think that my intuition and, like, my discernment is good. And I think that I'm someone who always strives to not be a good person. That's so cliche. But, like, I'm someone. I have good intentions and I want people to treat me how I treat them. And I have a big heart and I'm very loyal, and I've been burned by that a lot, but it never stops me from being that way. And I also just try to understand people, even for my friends, and then also hear what my friends say about me. Like, I've had friends say, like, oh, you're too blunt. I'm like, well, that's just who I am. But no, that's. You need to treat that friend in a different way, you know, Whereas another friend. You can be blunt, you know? Right.

[Ashley]

And it sounds like you're not afraid to have people frustrated with you. You or play with you, because that's how you set a boundary. Because setting a boundary is removing access.

[Sierra]

So I would decline calls. I would. Sorry, girl. So much. I'm not emotionally available. I can't.

[Ashley]

Well, thank you for being so transparent about this whole backstory and providing the much, much needed context. I have a few more questions for you is about your castmates. But before we do, we have our texting office hours, and I think our audience would love to hear you give relationship advice to a caller. So it's time to put on the headphones, the head. And then we'll get to see what's next for Tyler and Ashley. And then we'll send her on her way.

[Sierra]

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[Ashley]

Happy riding after investing billions to light up our network. T Mobile is America's largest 5G network. Plus right now you can switch keep your phone air and will pay it off up to $800. See how you can save on every plan vs Verizon and at&t@t mobile.com Keep and switch up to four lines via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device credit service ported 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card has no cash access and expires in six months. How's it going?

[Tyler]

Good. I'm Sierra and I'm 38 and my boyfriend tells me I talk too much.

[Ashley]

Oh. Well, do you think he's right?

[Tyler]

I think at times, yes.

[Ashley]

Okay, fair. What don't you think is fair about that statement?

[Tyler]

That it's because it's something that it's usually has to involve feelings or something I'm trying to share about how I feel about a situation or something I'm passionate about and then I end up going more and more into information and maybe run on in my words.

[Ashley]

And what do you think of. Do you think your boyfriend doesn't listen enough?

[Tyler]

He listens, but I know he's like, for lack of better words, add and after the first couple sentences he stopped listening. Especially if I say how I feel and he's like, okay, she feels that way. And it's like his brain has moved on to the next thing, he's gone.

[Natalie]

And you're still explaining your feelings.

[Ashley]

How long you been dating this guy?

[Tyler]

14 months.

[Sierra]

Okay.

[Tyler]

And it is a really. I mean, I know there's always room for improvement for everybody, but it is a really healthy relationship, I will say. And it's good. It's just I know that there's things that I have to work on. I've been working on myself, myself for, I don't know, 20. I mean, I've been in and out of therapy for 20 years so I've always worked on myself and I know that I always have more to work on. But I also don't know if he like, past stuff, like he doesn't want, like something about feelings, conversations, triggers him. I don't know.

[Ashley]

So what do you love about your relationship? Let's start there.

[Tyler]

He loves me in a way that I've always wanted to be loved and didn't think that it existed. He accepts the love I have to give and the way that I give love. He accepts that and takes my life. And we do have good communication. Just sometimes when it gets onto topics he's not comfortable with or my feelings gets a little rocky.

[Ashley]

But the only thing I'm confused about your statement is that like, that all sounds nice, but your feelings are kind of a big deal in a relationship. And then you say that, like anytime you express your feelings, he shuts down. So how are you able to feel loved in the way you want to be loved if you can't ever express how you feel?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I mean, he makes me on a daily basis. I mean, we do life together. We. I don't know how to go into detail about, you know, just your everyday life. Like, we don't have regular issues on a daily. Well, I will say we have a 19 year year age gap. So that's something I also wanted to talk to you and Natalie about because I know you guys have an age gap.

[Ashley]

Is he older?

[Tyler]

I'm. Yeah, he's 57 and I'm 38. Okay, so he was married for 30 years and so. And I've. I've never been married, so obviously come from two different back backgrounds. So I don't know, I feel like maybe past issues, like he just. When that conversation is going to come up, it triggers them to want to. Because of the marriage. She. I don't know how detailed I'm supposed to go, but she was an alcoholic and so she couldn't have conversations with him without having liquid courage.

[Ashley]

Well, I guess the only thing I would say, not knowing anything about your situation, so not to compare ours with yours, but one thing I've had to learn, we. I had to learn. I guess we both had to learn is that like, our age gap wasn't an excuse to avoid, I guess, certain conversations. Or I couldn't just be like, well, I'm. This is who I am and I need you to accept where I'm at in life. I like, I was like, I'm going to choose to be in a relationship with someone who might have a different background or a different point of view on life. And I couldn't always expect Natalie to meet me where I was at and vice versa. You know, we had to lean on more of what we had in common and then address our differences and then be willing to not use those differences as ways to be dis. Disconnected. The way you describe it, it's kind of like, hey, old dog, you know, no new tricks. And I'm 57 and so like, I'm just. This is who I am. And therapeut you, you're like, you know, whatever. I don't know if he's in therapy or anything like that, but it just seems very. He seems very set in his ways.

[Sierra]

He is.

[Tyler]

In a lot of ways. He is. And it is funny you said that it is like, harder with some generations, like, they are the way they are. And I'm trying to integrate into, like, because I'm really big into. I've been in out of therapy. I read, read your book on top of tons of other books that have to do with emotion, reaction, you know, how the mind and emotions work, how we are affected by those around us, how we take things, how we react to things. Really big on psychology stuff. So mental health is huge to me and I've. I'm way different than I was 10 years ago, 15 years ago.

[Sierra]

Sarah, sorry to cut you off. Did you. Did you say that his ex wife was an alcoholic? So just listening to you, it could be just maybe something to explore. It could be that now he correlates women expressing themselves and their feelings to the trauma of his ex being an alcoholic and that being the only time that she would feel comfortable to express herself. So it's a little bit of trauma there. And I used to date an alcoholic, so I can definitely be a testimony to that. You don't want to talk to them when they're in that state. Right? And so now with you being a new woman, he's taking his past experiences and unfortunately putting it into his new relationship. And maybe that's something that you guys could explore when he's emotionally and mentally available to do so.

[Ashley]

Is he in therapy? Is he even open to the idea?

[Tyler]

Yes, he is in therapy. So what brought him to therapy? So between the wife and ex wife and me was a relationship and of about six years and she passed in a very unfortunate accident. And then very shortly after, he's messaging me and I was very open and I was like, you are in a very, very traumatic time and it's very soon. And we talked about everything And I voiced all my concerns and that hasn't posed any issues. He's followed through with all of his words. Everything he's ever said to me, he's shown me like he didn't just like I said, I don't want to be a bandaid basically to this trauma that he experienced. And I've not felt like one.

[Ashley]

Have you tried couples therapy?

[Tyler]

You know, I really want to.

[Ashley]

Well, the only reason I suggest that is because your problem, and I think Ashley makes a great point is like, you know Natalie and I do couples therapy and like I know a lot of people go in there and try to have the people fix their partners and like that. But for us it's really just like anytime there's a disconnect or sometimes if we're in an argument and we, and we realize like we could either argue for half a day about this or we could call a therapist and have him play mediator almost. And given your issue with your partner, he's having a hard time articulating his feelings or having a hard time letting you articulate yours and hearing you out. And a good couple of therapists will allow you the space to share while he'll be watching your partner and he'll hopefully see the trigger and maybe at that point look at your partner and go wait, what's going on here? And that way hopefully that could be the space where you start expressing your feelings. Now that's not sustainable. You have to get to a place where you can do this with a therapist. But a good couple's therapist will do exactly what your partner's having a hard time doing, will allow them and find a way for you guys to find that common ground. And the fact that he's open to therapy might be a good suggestion. But it might be a lot easier than you at 38 trying to change your 57 year old boy boyfriend on your own and get him to open up. It might just be a lot easier to, if you have the means to, to bring in the old professional.

[Tyler]

Yeah, so that was what took him to therapy was that trauma of losing his mate. And so that's why he's in it. But of course he talked about his parents and his children and you know, other things but he is in it. I do want to try a couple of therapy because he does have a little bit of a block just when it comes to like think topics on my feelings. And it's not that he's against my feelings or doesn't care, but it does something that's triggered and he does shut down a little bit and he just doesn't like, he only wants to hear it once.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Sometimes I get a little bit like in my past I've not expressed myself. I've just shut, shut up and do what you're told and wasn't healthy mentally and allowed relationships to just be unhealthy.

[Ashley]

Yeah. I feel like again, without trying to, we could sit here and guess all different approaches you could take. But like you said, like it seems like a daunting task to try to do this on your own. And his individual therapy isn't going to necessarily address this because like you said, who knows what he could be addressing? Shit. He might be talking about things he experienced as a 10 year old boy and there's so, you know, he's got his ex wife and his ex girlfriend who passed. So you have specific requests and specific needs as it pertains to your relationship with him. And that's where a couple's therapist can come in because you need to be able to get your feelings out. He needs to hear them, he, he needs to acknowledge them and he needs to do it in a safe environment and hopefully that, that couple's therapist will create that. At least it's a good place to start.

[Tyler]

Yeah. But I think it's something that we should really look into because I think it really helps combat.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then on the age gap thing, is there any, I guess advice or.

[Ashley]

My advice would be like just to not accept the age gap as an excuse for dis. Connection I guess is the simplest way, like at no point as well, I'm just 18 years older than you. Like is an acceptable answer. You guys are in a committed relationship. Like what? You know, and I think a lot of people would. So it's never an excuse to use your age gap as a reason to stay disconnected from your partner. And if that is the case, then you guys need to find different ways to connect.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I think that my insecurities being younger, being like, oh, like, you know, I don't know how to put it but you know, I'm just younger and I was like, you're just like, no, don't know, I've been around longer. You know, not that he says that, but like that.

[Ashley]

Well, that's my point. It's just like Natalie might be a lot younger than me, but she's my equal. And the moment I didn't think she is, then we shouldn't be together, you know. And so if you start seeing yourself as, not as your, not as his Ego, then you won't be his equal. So it's also.

[Natalie]

I feel like focusing on what you have in common, and then the stuff that you don't have in common, it's more of, like, an exception, excitement to show each other what you don't have in common. You know, like, Nick loves showing me these older movies that came out when he was a kid, and it's like, I wasn't even a thought in my mother's head. And it's like something that we enjoy rather than him being like, oh, God, you weren't even.

[Ashley]

You were.

[Natalie]

You weren't even a thought when this movie came out. You know, it's more of like, oh, I really want to show you. So I feel. I feel like it's like focusing on the stuff that you have in common and enjoying the things that you don't have in common.

[Ashley]

Yeah. Don't overthink it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we. We do that pretty good. It's just the feeling part.

[Ashley]

It is a big deal. It's not sustainable to have them ignored. And honestly, I think if you have the means, I would say couples therapy would be the easiest way to tackle this problem.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

All right. All right, well, thank you for the call.

[Tyler]

Thank you so much.

[Ashley]

Take care.

[Sierra]

Bye. Okay, bye.

[Ashley]

Bye.

[Sierra]

That was intense.

[Natalie]

Yeah, I know.

[Ashley]

You have to get going.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

I have two questions.

[Sierra]

Okay.

[Ashley]

What's next for you and Tyler? Let's start there.

[Sierra]

Wow. So now that the show is out and, you know, we're just kind of able to finally. Soon. Well, not yet, but soon able to post each other and what? We just want to, like, be public. We just want to be public. We want to travel and post our travel. I've been on so many sneaky links this year with my husband, but no one knows. So, yeah, we're just ready to kind of, like, continue building. Can I ask, how hard is that whole day, like, concealing your relationship for over a year? So it's a dual thing. It's a dual effect. Like, the plus side is, like, we're in this little bubble. No one knows about us. No one can harm us. Right. But then there's the damn, like, I do want to show you off, and I do want to, like, be happy to be married and something I've always wanted and only very few people know. Yeah. And so, yeah, I'm ready for just the simple things, like, I want to just post out to eat. I just want to, you know, just travel and enjoy being newlywed publicly. Yeah. So originally he was saying, like, in a year which we quickly found out was not a thing. Like, no way.

[Ashley]

A year. It goes fast.

[Sierra]

Like, let's be clear. Yeah. It went so fast. I'd say in two years we'll try, you know, we'll start to begin the process. I. I do want a kid before 35. I'm 32. Yeah, I want a kid before 35. I'm still working on my patients also to make sure that I am.

[Natalie]

You seem very patient, so.

[Sierra]

Wow. Thank you. I've been really working on it. I've been reading a lot. It's working.

[Natalie]

Whatever you're doing is working.

[Sierra]

Yeah. Because usually, like, when I'm with my friends, all my friends have kids. Not all, but most of them have kids. And I'm have a God son who's born on my birthday. He's 14 now, so he. He doesn't want anything to do with me right now, but it's fine. But when. When I'm around my friend's kids, it's just like, okay, this was fun. And then like, my friend, best. Best friend Casey, she's used to all, like, the loudness been. They always know when I come over, like, Auntie Ash or whatever. I'm like, okay, all that ruckus in there. Like, you know, she ignores inside voice. She blocks it out. She doesn't even hear it. I do. I get annoyed. I'm like, okay, this was fun, girl. Thanks for the wine.

[Ashley]

Yeah. Listen, I don't even like kids. I don't even like dogs. But I am obsessed with my dogs, and my child is mine. Final question. Which guy from your cast was the biggest surprise once you got to know him?

[Natalie]

Well, there was Ramses and then Stephen with the kinks and the lying. And then Tim with the, like, you took a nap. I never want to see your face again.

[Sierra]

My biggest shock was Stephen.

[Ashley]

Ok, and do you want elaborate?

[Sierra]

Steven was. You don't even show. They don't even show. How many times I've talked to Stephen while filming and just like, trying to encourage him and because, you know, he was having doubts at one point. And also just like, Steven was this great guy that everyone knew Monica and Steven were getting married. And so to find out, we get back to Arlington and he does this thing. I unfollowed him. I was. He was despicable to me. And the only reason I followed him again is because Monica gave him grace and she was like, don't hold a grudge against him. I was like, you calling dogs off. Not Tim's dogs, but my own. I love my Own. Yeah.

[Ashley]

We got to talk. Talk to her. I'm. I'm worried that she doesn't want to see who Stephen really is in order to protect herself.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

Nick's hard against Stephen.

[Sierra]

Yeah, me too.

[Ashley]

That was a big lie.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Talk about stealing an opportunity from someone.

[Sierra]

Wait, what?

[Tyler]

Just the whole how Stephen.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Sierra]

Thing went about in the sleep test.

[Tyler]

And the text messages and.

[Ashley]

Oh, it's a huge line. Yeah. It was just like.

[Sierra]

I don't even know if he was there. I don't know. He keeps saying he was. I don't know if he was at the sleep test. All I do know is, is when it comes to this experience similar to my own, any sort of betrayal and trust is huge. And it's even worse when it's with another woman in that way, because it's like, dang, like, you know, and it almost makes women afraid to share that they've been hurt before in that way, because it's almost like men are like, oh, you're used to this. I'll do it to you. You'll stay. You know, and then he was very emotionless when he left. He's like, well, sorry I wasted your time.

[Natalie]

Remember when he looked in the camera.

[Sierra]

Yeah. Like, what the heck?

[Natalie]

And was like, I'll probably never. What did he say?

[Sierra]

I'll never live this down.

[Natalie]

I'll never live this down.

[Sierra]

He's apologized to me so many times.

[Ashley]

But then he went on online, and the first thing he posted was trying to paint himself as a victim by basically saying, oh, people are gonna, like. I don't know.

[Sierra]

It was very disappointed by the idea that they made of me. It started in with that conversation with women are going to give me oral sex when they finally offering it sliding in the DMS a year later.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Sierra]

This is not the Stephen that I knew that was talking about Ryan Gosling in movies with me in the pods, but they're not.

[Natalie]

Also, no one's trying to give me.

[Ashley]

All right, Ashley, we really, really appreciate you taking the time. We know you have to go.

[Sierra]

We can stay. Thanks, Katie. One more for the right. One more for the right. One more for the right.

[Ashley]

One more for the.

[Sierra]

I want to hear about Tim and we didn't get to Tim and Alex.

[Ashley]

Yeah. What do you know about that? What's your take?

[Sierra]

I do know that there was no extra fight that everyone thinks there was. That. I mean, there was a fight off of camera. And also people think that we have cameras in our rooms when we go to sleep, so they should put cameras, like, 11pm like 11pm, 7 to 8am or something similar to your situation. I felt like we were kind of just dropped in the middle of a conversation with them. Yeah.

[Ashley]

My big question with Alex is why didn't she pick up her place, like, at all?

[Sierra]

I asked her that and she was like, I didn't want to even film there. I'm like, girl, you tripping because I clean my place before I left. Yeah. And then had my mom come dust because, you know when the sun comes in through the blinds, you get dust everywhere.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Sierra]

Yeah, she was. I think we all were in a hectic panic because we found out very soon that we're casted before we leave. They keep you in suspense. And so I think that maybe she. Alex, love you, girl. You know I do, but she's late to everything. It is a character flaw. And I told her, do better in 2025. If you don't do it in 2025, do better in 2026. I told her that.

[Ashley]

How does someone like and Alex ended up together? Because they look like they could not be more opposite.

[Sierra]

I think it's the family bond. It's 100% the family bond. They both really, really, really, really love their families. And they both have had different experiences with resilience for their parents, and I think that's where they bonded. And I think when we got to the real world, there was a disconnect. I also just want to say you looked absolutely stunning on your wedding day. Thank you.

[Tyler]

And I hope that it was.

[Sierra]

It just looked really beautiful. The best day was 68 degrees. Yeah. Taylor's was 50. Love you. Love you, too. But, yeah, a sunny day. It was like. Oh, it was perfect. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ashley]

Well, thank you for coming. This is so much fun. We wish you guys the best of luck. Hopefully we'll get a chance to meet Tyler in person.

[Sierra]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Sierra]

Thank you.

[Ashley]

All right.

[Sierra]

Bye.

[Ashley]

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[Sierra]

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[Ashley]

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[Sierra]

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[Ashley]

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[Sierra]

Hey moms. Looking for some light hearted guidance on this crazy journey we call parenting? Join me, Sabrina Kohlberg and me Andy Mitchell for Pop Culture Moms where each week we talk about what we're watching and examine our favorite pop culture moms up close to try to pick up some parenting hacks along the way. Come laugh, learn and grow with us as we look for the best tips and maybe a few what not to dos from our favorite fictional moms from Good Morning America and ABC Audio. Pop Culture Moms. Find it wherever you get your podcasts.