Nick (80:23)
Don'T know if it was guilt. My guess is, my guess is he cares about you, he has feelings for you just like you have feelings for him. The difference is you've done the work and he has it. Yeah, it's kind of that simple. You know, everything else is all kind of very human nature. You know, you got, like you said you guys are very comfortable with each other. When you're gonna get together and have a date night and come to each other's houses, you're gonn, why? Because this is what you guys do. And it's so comfortable. It's just like, I don't I don't know, maybe, you know, assuming he's maybe been on a few dates too, maybe he's hooked up with a person here or there. But for the most part, you know, like, you guys bring, you know, again, there's. It's very easy for you guys to be your emotional support system, to be your physical support system. So that's what you fall into, right? And neither and both of you in that moment have that need. So you give into that need and then the next day, you know, you kind of reassess. All of a sudden, once that needs met, then you have other needs, right? And again, you've done the work, he hasn't. Also, like, you're a woman, he's a man, so you're probably a little bit more mature than he is. Who knows? And then obviously sex is going to affect you differently and it's going to affect him. All those elements come into play. But nothing's, you know, nothing I said really changes, right? Like, all it is is maybe to your point, a little bit of a wake up call of where you are or where he isn't, right? So nothing really has changed for you. You could say, listen, like, it, it felt like. I know you didn't mean it, but it just seems like obviously it just fucks me up a little too much when we play house, have sex. And then obviously, I know you don't mean to, but it's definitely kind of. It, it makes me sad or, you know, hurts a little bit when all of a sudden you're just like, I don't know what I want. Because now I'm kind of. I have to get over you again. I care about you. Like you, you guys need to stop pretending that you guys don't love each other or there's not some love there. You guys are so. And that's where the game playing comes in. You two have been in each other's lives for too long to just play these stupid games about, like, do you like me? Do you not like me? Do you care about me? Do you not care about me? Like, Jesus Christ. The. You guys clearly care about each other. You're still, you're still in each other's lives. You have every reason not to be, but you still are. So something's bringing you back. And maybe it's just like, you know the history, but again, I do think you have the right to set some boundaries here. It's like, listen, I'm gonna put it out there. If I had my wish, if I had one wish, and when it comes to my relationship life, it would be in a healthy relationship with you, because I love you. I want to admit that I don't think we're capable of that right now. And that makes me sad, you know, and, yeah, I don't know. I have been doing a lot of work and you have your own journey too. But, like, like I said before, if you felt the same way about that I feel, then, yeah, I would want you to do some work on your own, you know, and then, yeah, maybe we'd have to get couples therapy. Right now it's clear that football is your number one priority. I'm not here to tell you what to prioritize, but if we want to work on this, we need to be each other's top priority. And, yeah, that might include you not playing football for the sake of playing football. Like, I definitely want to get into a relationship with someone who kind of knows what they want to do with their life and their career. And I honestly, like, you would have to offer him some kind of, like, as of a reflection, I'm again, really sorry for how I handled the handle things about your football playing. I think I was a little immature. I think I was, you know, there was a lot of reasons why I did a lot of things I regret. I do need to have a future with you, but I, I, I do really respect you chasing your dreams. I think it's, I think you're going to be really glad that you played football as long as you did, and I think that's really cool. That being said, we are 28. We're getting to the point of our lives. Well, that if we want to, like, have a family and plan a future, now's kind of the time to start thinking about that. And that's kind of where I'm at, you know? So if you want a relationship with me, yeah, I need to see you more focused on the future. And I need to not have football be your number one priority because the truth is, we probably shouldn't have been dating when we were dating because, like, football was your number one priority. And I was just too stubborn to, like, accept that. And I tried to be your number one priority while football clearly was. And that's okay. I'm not even mad about it. It's just like, that's just a reality. You know, that's the thing. It is the reality. He wants to say, no, babe, you're my number one priority. But also, football is, you know, it's like there can't be both. Stop Bringing up the past other than like, hey, I want you to talk about the future with this guy.
