
Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper with Natalie Joy and Nick Viall. In this deeply personal episode, Natalie opens up about her miscarriage with her and Nick’s second child. Through vulnerability and honesty, she offers her...
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Natalie
There's a lot of decisions you have to make when you have a baby and the one that I feel the most comfortable and safe making is using Huggies for our daughter River. I always tell Nick that when River's crying she's trying to tell us something and that's the case with most babies. They express it through cries. And so we've turned to Huggies. The new Huggy Skin Essentials are here, a brand new dermatologist approved line of diapers, wipes and pull ups training pants that are all designed with baby sensitive skin in mind.
Nick
Their wipes are so thick and ph balanced to help maintain healthy skin. Their wipes have zero harsh ingredients for a great gentle clean.
Natalie
The Skin Essential Diapers features a skin protect liner which is what helps take care of the ick and stick that can cause rash. They have this liner built in their diapers.
Nick
The whole diaper helps protect against the top two causes of rash by managing moisture and running mess. The liner gives you the barrier to help absorb moisture and lock away runny mess from baby skin. Pull Up Skin Essentials has your big kid covered too with a training pant that is ultra soft and breathable to help protect sensitive skin through potty training.
Unknown Host
Learn more@huggies.com or once again head to.
Natalie
Huggies.Com to learn more.
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Unknown Host
Well, I guess just thanks for tuning in. I'm sure you got some glimpse based off the title about what this episode is going to be about.
Unknown Advertiser
And.
Natalie
I miscarried our second child.
And.
It was extremely hard. It's still extremely hard. Obviously this is just like not easy to talk about. I don't know the right way to talk about it.
Unknown Host
What we're about to play obviously is very personal and very raw and very descriptive and so you know, just a heads up there, you know, in case, you know, whoever you're listening to this with, or maybe it's not your cup of tea, but we just wanted to give you a heads up that the content going forward is very detailed and very personal.
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Unknown Host
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Unknown Host
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Natalie
C site for details. There's a lot of decisions you have to make when you have a baby, and the one that I feel the most comfortable and safe making is using Huggies for our daughter River. I always tell Nick that when River's crying she's trying to tell us something and that's the case with most babies. They express it through cries. And so we've turned to Huggies. The new Huggy Skin Essentials are here, a brand new dermatologist approved line of diapers, wipes and pull ups training pants that are all designed with baby sensitive skin in mind.
Nick
Their wipes are so thick and ph balanced to help maintain healthy skin. Their wipes have zero harsh ingredients for a great gentle clean.
Natalie
The Skin Essential Diapers features a skin protect liner which is what helps take care of the ick and stick that can cause rash. They have this liner built in their diapers.
Nick
The whole diaper helps protect against the top two causes of rash by managing moisture and running messages. The liner gives you the barrier to help absorb moisture and lock away runny mess from baby skin. Pull Up Skin Essentials has your big kid covered too with a training pant that is ultra soft and breathable to help protect sensitive skin through potty training.
Natalie
Learn more@huggies.com Once again, head to huggies.com to learn more.
Unknown Advertiser
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Unknown Host
All states this is definitely going to be a different episode. We've never done anything with just Natalie and I in the room. But you know, since this is a show that I think more and more we've made into a family show and it's become a place for us to, you know, open up and share a little bit about our life when we feel comfortable doing that. And it's also a little bit of therapy for us. And every once in a while when we deal with something traumatic or personal, you know, we will sometimes talk about whether we should or shouldn't share it. But you know, this was a situation that obviously really impacted us, still impacts us. And it's also a topic that I think depending who you are and whether you've experienced it, I think everyone knows someone who has experienced it. You know, it certainly changes or affects your perspective once it happens to you. Like obviously most things.
Natalie
But yeah, yeah, I don't feel like there's like no right way to start it or get into it, but I feel like it's. I think it's also just like.
And I don't want to apologize for crying because it is so sad and I'm still feeling everything. But I just think it's also like I've been like putting on this front. You know, I've been like trying to be a good mom to river and like come and do my job, whether it's on the podcast or on social media for the past week. And currently as I sit here today, I'm actively Miscarrying our second child. And it has been the biggest heartbreak, I think, of my life. I've never experienced something where I feel so empty inside. And I just. And, yeah, I guess, like Nick said, it's one of those things that, like, I've.
I've heard of so many of my friends, you know, have.
Have sadly been through it. My sister has had 12 miscarriages. And it's like you feel sad and you want to be there for these people, but you don't really know the loss that they feel until you go through it yourself.
Unknown Host
So obviously, Natalie has a very unique perspective since she was the one carrying the baby. And as a father, I think it's a little different. But I think, like I said earlier, I think we all know someone or many people who have experienced a miscarriage, and I think it's really. And I think if you've ever heard someone you care about, you mention that they've had a miscarriage. I think the vast majority of people know to at least obviously express their condolences, show their empathy for the sad experience that these people are having. But at least for me, it always felt like there was a bit of a disconnect between, you know, what. What I was trying to empathize to, and the sadness I felt from the people sharing that they had this experience. Because, you know, obviously, like, depending on when you miscarriage and things like that. Yeah. I mean, especially for everyone involved except for the mother. Even as a father, you know, connecting with your unborn child is a process. And I think. Especially I think Nally's desire, and correct me if I'm wrong, to share with this, is just to express what it feels like, especially for all. All the women out there and all the moms and all the women who desire to be a mom, especially those who have had a challenge conceiving. It really felt like it may be just because we're going through it right now, it just. For me, it really. You know, there's various stages of my life. I think every experience you have, until you experience something, it's harder to empathize. And once you can, you sometimes feel a bit of guilt for not empathizing the way you feel like you should have now that it's happened to you. And so I think maybe that's just kind of our hope for this episode is to just, you know, hopefully allow people like Natalie to feel seen that have gone through this experience, because it's incredibly traumatic for even the dads, but especially the moms. Yeah, you really Feel alone because there's always like this, you know, I'm sorry for your loss and hey, what do you want to do this weekend? You know, like it's. There's a. There's definitely a disconnect.
Natalie
It's going to take a long time.
To heal from this, but it is raw and we're feeling it right now. And I think that's why I wanted to do this now.
Because I want to show people and.
I want to give the mothers who have felt this same feeling, like, yeah, you're not alone. Because it does feel. I mean, like my body feels so empty and like, I just also don't want to forget this baby. You know, I don't want time to go on and for this baby to have just been like a blip in our lives, you know, it's like I want river to be able to watch this back and see her parents love for her sibling that like could have been here. I just feel dead inside. And it sucks because I have to be so alive for river. You know, I have to be silly and goofy and funny and play with her. And then I have this like overwhelming guilt that like when I'm with you, I can't also do that. You know, like, I'm sad that like the only version of me you get right now is this like broken person. And I'm sorry for that.
Unknown Host
It's okay.
Natalie
I'm just so tired, you know, I'm just exhausted of this like performing, you know, of this like putting on a brave face and putting on a happy face. It's just like, it gets so tiring and it's also just like a really confusing state. I think for anyone who's gone through this, you question everything, you know, you. I look at myself and I'm like, I just had a successful non complicated pregnancy and birth and I'm 26 years old and like, why. Why me? Like, why did this happen to me?
Unknown Host
Yeah, I think that's also one of the harder parts because, you know, I want you to be able to feel how you feel. But it does. It hurts to know that, you know, the pressure. And I assume this is common for most women who experience what you're experiencing. And I've heard it, my mom experienced it a few times. And that, yeah, the. The guilt that I think women who miscarriage put on themselves and the responsibility of. And it just breaks my heart because obviously assuming, you know, that's not really the case, but I. I understand why it's hard, you know, not to do that. Even Myself, I mean, you know, there were fires in LA talk, air quality, you know, like, what if we should we have left town? You know, stuff like that. It's, you know, and that's just me, you know, getting in my head about, is there anything I could have done differently or we could have done differently. So I can't even imagine what you're going through and. But say, you know, we're lucky to have doctors who, you know, I guess from a scientific standpoint, you know, explain that. This is sadly common, I guess, you know, I don't know how it is for you, and I imagine it's still raw. I mean, that part helps a little bit just because it is. You know, I'm definitely someone who. It's easy to second guess myself.
Natalie
But, yeah, I think it's the only thing that, like, you have to hold on to, to be able to heal, you know, is to, like, have, like, the doctors assuring you of, like, this baby wasn't gonna live regardless. Like, our doctor being able to say, like, there was. It was unviable, it wasn't going to live outside of your body. And it's like, it gives you some.
Hope of, like, okay, well, at least.
Like, I don't know, it just.
It.
If you focus on the scientific part, I think that's what, like, gets you through it, which is incredibly hard to do because as the mom, you feel everything.
You know, from the second.
That it was a positive pregnancy test, like, I.
Felt that baby inside of me and up until I lost it, like, it's. It's.
It's so real, and it, Like.
Unknown Host
I think it's been harder for me now that we have River. You know, like, when I first. When we first found out that you were pregnant with river, there's definitely, like, a. You know, being someone who always wanted to be a dad but had never been a dad. We all. We've. We've. We've joked plenty about my initial reaction, but, like, until you had. You know, when I got back from Special for the first. You know, when I got back from Special Forces, I. I got my phone back and. And there was a message waiting for me from you. That was River's heartbeat. And, like, that was definitely, like, the first moment I felt, like, connected to River. And then throughout the pregnancy, you get more and more connected. But, like, ever. And I've talked about this, but Everett, now that River's with us and we've gotten to know her, like, I think about the moment I found out you were pregnant with river, all the Time. And I think about that moment where I heard River's first heartbeat, you know, and I think about all the doctor visits we had with River. And so, like, every time I look at river, like, River's been, even for me, been in our life since the moment, like, I opened that drawer and saw the positive pregnancy test. So now knowing, knowing what that's like, it made it this, that much more difficult just because, like, you know, I remember where we were with river when we found out you were pregnant this time. And, you know, and, and obviously we've talked about this, but, you know, a lot of you heard our end of the year episode where we talked about how great of a year we had and our excitement for this year. And, you know, a vast majority of that excitement was us knowing we, you know, Natalie was pregnant. So, yeah, it just, it's. It's a shitty experience. And I don't know if you want to talk about, you know, what happened and how it all started and what that was like.
Natalie
Yeah, I mean, I was spot bleeding for a while, which I didn't do with Rivers, so I definitely was freaked out at the first sign of blood and, you know, immediately reached out to my sister, who had 12 miscarriages and one one daughter, and she was like, this is normal. Like, everything is fine.
Unknown Host
I'm Googling all this stuff. And it definitely, I think I read something like, like 20 to 30% of pregnancies can have spot bleeding and things like that. So then, you know, we try not to. We try not to worry.
Natalie
You know, I think I knew from the jump, but I didn't want to accept that. And then it just got heavier and heavier. I'm just so thankful that we were home and not traveling and not in a hotel or on an airplane.
But.
We got home and I went to go pee, and it was like I gave birth. You know, it was like.
It was like I did, you know, essentially. And I was screaming and crying, and Nick ran into the bathroom. And, you know, you just, like, think, like, how, how are you supposed to stand up and, like, flush this baby down the toilet? Like, how do you do that? How do you just.
Unknown Host
I, I, we had been talking to my mom, and I remember, you know, a miscarriage my mom had, and my mom knew, like, Natalie was experiencing these symptoms and, you know, tmi, but my mom said, you know, Natalie might want to, when she goes to the bathroom, pee in a cup. And I didn't at that point, I didn't relay that message to Natalie because I just wanted to Stay positive. But I remember I was. I don't know how old I was. I was. I don't know, maybe middle school or something, but my mom experienced that same thing. And I don't know the details of what happened, but she miscarried into a toilet and was unable to retrieve anything for a lack of better way of saying it. And so Natalie, obviously, like, she called for me and she. At this point, I'm just trying to. You really don't know what to say or do, you know? So I didn't. I don't think I said anything other than I think I just held you. And then you mentioned you looked at me, and I remember you, you know, like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to flush the toilet. And then I think I just got you out. Well, you went into the shower. We went in the shower for a while, me, you, and river, and just left the toilet where it was. And. And then after we got out, when Nally was in the living room, I went back into the bathroom. And, yeah, I mean, I just stuck my hand in the toilet and. And was able. And I didn't know what. I didn't know because, you know, Natalie said she felt it, and it was really just, again, tmi. All you could see was blood. But I just, you know, I just remember. I mean, you know, I remember that it was very traumatic for me. I just remember it being a traumatic moment for my mom, and that's why she told me to bring her cup, because she didn't want Nelly to potentially experience that feeling as well. But thankfully, and I was a bit surprised, but I was able to retrieve, you know, the baby and everything that came with it. And it was. It was definitely. That part was. I hope no one ever has to experience that. But at the same time, I hope that if you do experience a similar situation, that you do retrieve the baby, because, you know, we were able to set it aside so that we could mourn the loss. And we want to bury our baby in a place that we can always connect with. So I don't know what we would have done if I wasn't able to retrieve it or we were forced to flush the toilet without getting the baby out. Yeah. I mean, as traumatic as it was, I hope the moms never have to do that themselves, and I hope that all the dads out there are willing to do that, because I am very grateful. I mean, we could have. This could have happened on the flight home. You know, we. It. We Landed in la and it happened later that night. Yeah, it could have. It could have happened, you know. Yeah. When we weren't home, so thankfully we were, but. And that was. That was very surreal.
Natalie
That was, like, definitely the hardest night of my life. Just experiencing that is, like, something I wouldn't wish upon anyone. And unfortunately, I know a lot of women do experience it, and I'm just.
Like, feel for these people so much because it's such a.
It's like I was so mad at.
My body for letting it go, you know, I was like, why couldn't you just hold on to it? Why did. Why did you have to let it go? And I was so mad at my body, and I was so mad at myself. And then I reached out to my doctor and I had experienced all this heartbreak, and I was so sad. And then she kind of gave me a little bit of hope of just, like, there's a lot of reasons that, you know, it might not have been, you know, I didn't give her the exact description of what Nick was able to save, but she was like, come in Monday and.
We'Ll.
We'll check everything out.
So all of Sunday, I kind of.
Had this, like, taupe again, you know, which was extra dangerous. I feel like just because it was like my heart was already broken just for. On Monday to go in and, like, be rebroken, you know, when the doctor confirmed that I had miscarried, I just feel really grateful to have you because it was. It was the worst thing I've ever been through. But you made it as easy as it could have been to go through. And you did everything right, which I feel like is impossible to do in those situations. And yet you managed and you still continue. I'm still. I'm still bleeding. Every time I go to the restroom, I'm reminded of what has happened. I don't think I'll ever be able to go into our bathroom and, like, not feel that feeling.
Oh, my God.
Unknown Host
I think on the other side, obviously this is still very raw for us. And more specifically, her. Yeah. I just started thinking about, you know, my friends and people I know who have experienced something similar. And when they told me and. And again, like, you know, lot many times, it was like a text. I'm so sorry. You know, or even in person, I'm so sorry. But. And not that, you know, again, this is not. Not to make anyone who's been in that position that I'm describing and feel like they didn't empathize well enough, but I just. I just started. I just started sobbing, probably because I was a little out of it, but, like, all the emotions kind of. It's a challenge trying to be there for you and also just trying to make sure that we don't lose ourself and our sadness, but also allow us to feel these feelings, you know. And, you know, we are grateful for our doctor who mentioned, you know, if that's something we want to try for again. You know, there's. I learned the word rainbow baby. And am I right by a rainbow baby? Are the babies you have, like, right after a miscarriage?
Natalie
Yeah.
Unknown Host
I didn't know that phrase existed. Our doctor was telling us that she. As sad as this moment is that, you know, something that she feels very grateful to be able to do in her profession is to, you know, help women deliver what she referred to as rainbow babies. And, yeah, it's, you know, you know, my least. If you guys listen, my least favorite phrase in the world is everything happens for a reason in moments like these. It's, you know, because I'm definitely someone. It's just like, we make choices and we have to live with our choices, but this is not one. This is. This experience has nothing to do with a choice that we made other than the decision of growing our family. So it's. It's definitely been a mind for me to have to lean into the accept that things happened this way.
Natalie
There's also a huge part of me that feels really shitty because every time. And it's. I've had to take so many breaks off social media because it's like every time I get on, I see a friend or someone I follow or a stranger who's pregnant or announces her pregnancy.
And it, like, makes me so mad and, like, I'm so happy for them. And I have my beautiful baby at home, and I'm so happy these people get to experience that. But I'm just so mad that it's not me. And then I would get like. Which is also just a note for anyone in general DMS of like, oh, I know you're pregnant. You know, like, you've got to be pregnant. And it's like every time I read one, it was just like a punch in the gut. It's like. And it's like, I feel, like, so guilty for feeling that way about people on social media or my friends or people that I am genuinely so happy for. But it's hard in these moments to, like, feel that for them when you're so broken yourself.
Unknown Host
But I am still excited about our future. And I'm still excited about this year. You know, I think we went into this year with these really exciting expectations, and it's only. We're only a couple weeks in, but it certainly has not started off the way we hoped, but with the fires.
Natalie
And then it's just there. It feels like there's just been one after the other.
Unknown Host
Yeah. And obviously with the fires, we've been incredibly lucky compared to so many other people. But, yeah, it's just. It's been a. It hasn't been the magical time that we went into this year expecting. But as I try to tell Natalie, you know, that balance between allowing yourself to feel, but again, not make a terrible situation worse by allowing yourself to heal and move forward is definitely a tough balance to strike. And. And I can't imagine what I'm, you know, what I'm feeling. And then, you know, Nally is, like I said, you know, this miscarrying is not. It's not just like a. From what I understand or I'm learning, it's not like a one day or a moment. It's. Sadly, it takes time for the body to go through that, and, you know, it comes with a lot of emotions, but I am still excited about what can come. And we'll see where we're at in life, you know, at the end of this year. And I think as sad as this period is, you know, we'll see what good can come from it because I am hopeful that will still be the case. And, you know, obviously now, and I still very much want to grow our family. And when that happens, that will be very much based on, you know, Natalie and her body and what she's able to do both emotionally and physically.
Natalie
I hope one day I can come on here and be on the other side of it. I don't know when that day will be because I am very much in the thick of it right now and very much in the darkness of it all. But I feel like I've survived so many other things that I thought would break me and that I thought I wouldn't survive. And to be on the other side of all of those, I know that I'll make it. I just can't see that side yet.
Unknown Host
That's okay. Yeah, you will. Like you said, I mean, not to try to compare it to anything, because that's when you're. I think, more than anything. And kind of like you just said, I mean, I talk. We talk about this all the time. You know, dealing with tragedy is knowing that you can get through Things, you know, especially for those people who deal with death, that's very definitive. And, you know, for us, it's a very complicated feeling because obviously we lost this baby. And Nally was, you know, as Natalie described, feeling connected to that baby from that moment is not something a father gets to feel. That moment of being able to retrieve the baby was. It was traumatic. And yet I'm very grateful I was able to do that because that's like. I was definitely able to connect there. But we will. We will get through it because we, you know, we've gotten through things. We will, you know, and. Yeah, that's just. I guess what I'm trying to say, the silver lining of just knowing you can get through stuff even though you're not through it yet is a much better feeling than wondering if you'll ever get through something. So I'm grateful for that and.
Natalie
I.
Unknown Host
Am grateful that we have our river, and we've been very blessed so far in so many ways with her health and your health. And like you said, you know, we were very lucky to have a very seamless pregnancy more. I mean, you were. And we'll see what happens in the future. But, yeah, I guess maybe to sum things up, I think our hope for this is to more than anything, for the women out there who have experienced something similar. And obviously we're in the middle of this and it feels very personal, but it really feels like it's not something that really gets acknowledged all that much. And having a front row seat to how alone Natalie feels. I think we just hope that for those who have experienced it, we're with you. We. We know what you're feeling. And if this is not something that's. I guess I hate that I have to say this, but certainly we welcome any support you want to send our way. We don't welcome you any criticisms. And if this is not something that you were interested in hearing about, that's okay. We're not interested in that feedback. But, yeah, I feel. Feel lucky to do what we do here. And we want this show 99 of the time to be a place that people can come to and. And escape the. The that's out there in the world and the. All the craziness and have this be a place of fun and optimism and learn a little bit of baby about relationships, you know, for our ethnic audience and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But we do feel grateful to be able to connect with our audience and knowing who so much of our audience is and so many moms out there and Potential moms. We felt like it was worth sharing.
Natalie
It's also like nothing on social media is real. You know, it's like I feel like this is the epitome of, like, you don't know what people are going through behind the scenes. And it's like, you know, it's like.
I'm just here to say, like, first and foremost, like, I'm a shell of a human being. Currently, I've never been more heartbroken or sad. But I know that I have a family that needs me and it's what gets me out of bed every day. And I'm grateful for that. And I love you so much.
Unknown Host
Love you too.
Natalie
I mean, eternally grateful for you.
Unknown Host
Same baby.
Natalie
And I wouldn't have survived. I won't survive this without you. And I just wish I could give everyone who's ever experienced this, like, a hug. I know. It's just, it's. It's the most empty, alone feeling you'll ever feel. And I'm so sorry to everyone who's experienced it. So if you see me posting an ad, please like it.
Cut that out.
Unknown Host
I don't know if we should. I mean, that's the thing, though. It's just we're trying to be, you know, not to sound cliche, real raw, whatever. Some people deal with this stuff differently. Some people do deal with humor, you know, Some people do.
Natalie
I mean, it is. At the end of the day, it's.
Like life goes on, you know, like this world isn't stopping just because I lost my baby. You know, it's like.
Unknown Host
And I don't think we're doing this for any type of. You know, I think, yeah, it's just.
Natalie
I'm doing this so that I can look back and I can watch this video and I can remember the love and the feelings that I have for this baby that I lost. It's the only reason I'm doing it. It's because I don't want to forget. I'm so scared that I'm gonna forget.
Unknown Host
We'll make sure we won't. You know, the. I don't think I told you this, but the. What used to be the garage door password to my parents old house was 12:15. And that was because that was going to be the birthday of that baby that my mom miscarried. So it's been, I don't know how many years, 30 years, 30 plus years. And I still know that that baby's birthday was supposed to be 1215. So we won't. Every time I walked home I went home, so. Well, thanks for listening. I'm sure this will be a weird transition to tomorrow when you're listening because we'll, we recorded this much earlier than that, by the way.
Natalie
I think that's kind of my point of saying that, like, life goes on because it's like while I'm feeling these feelings and we're feeling, we're in it so deep, it's like we still have to get home, make dinner, put river to bed, play with river, be parents, be spouses to each other. You, you have to be a boss and a leader and me a co worker. You know, it's like lives go on and, and we have a job to do and a show to put on and so it's like, wow, laughing and joking or this and that. It's like you get home and like gets real, you know, it's like I feel like the only time I'm able to feel these feelings is when River's asleep. And that's why I feel so guilty that like, you're the only person that.
Like has to deal with.
Unknown Host
I'm not dealing with anything. I mean, I'm dealing with everything, but I'm not dealing with you. It's my job, so just comes with the territory. I mean, I, you know, this, like, this will only bring us closer. This is us being a family and this is not a fun part of it. That's why we have each other.
Natalie
Yeah.
Unknown Host
Bye.
Natalie
Bye.
There's a lot of decisions you have to make when you have a baby. And the one that I feel the most comfortable and safe making is using Huggies for our daughter River. I always tell Nick that when River's crying, she's trying to tell us something. And that's the case with most babies. They express it through cries. And so we've turned to Huggies. The new Huggy Skin Essentials are here. A brand new dermatologist approved line of diapers, wipes and pull ups training pants that are all designed with baby sensitive skin in mind.
Nick
Their wipes are so thick and ph balanced to help maintain healthy skin. Their wipes have zero harsh ingredients for a great gentle clean.
Natalie
The Skin Essential diapers features a skin protect liner which is what helps take care of the ick and stick that can cause rash. They have this liner built in their diapers.
Nick
The whole diaper helps protect against the top two causes of rash by managing moisture and running messages. The liner gives you the barrier to help absorb moisture and lock away runny mess from baby skin. Pull up Skin Essentials has your big kid covered too, with a training pant that is ultra soft and breathable to help protect sensitive skin through potty training.
Natalie
Learn more@huggies.com Once again, head to huggies.com to learn more.
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Podcast Summary: The Viall Files – Episode E875 "Going Deeper - Our Miscarriage Story"
Introduction In Episode E875 of The Viall Files, host Nick Viall and his partner Natalie Joy courageously open up about their deeply personal experience with miscarriage. This episode, released on January 29, 2025, marks a significant departure from their usual content, delving into the raw emotions and challenges they faced during this heartbreaking time. The discussion aims to provide solace and connection to listeners who have undergone similar experiences, fostering a sense of community and understanding.
1. Setting the Stage: A Vulnerable Conversation ([07:19] - [08:36])
Nick begins the episode by acknowledging the departure from their typical format, emphasizing the importance of sharing their miscarriage journey as a form of therapy and a way to connect with their audience on a more profound level.
Natalie expresses her uncertainty about how to broach the subject, highlighting the difficulty in finding the right words to convey such a painful experience.
2. The Emotional Toll of Miscarriage ([08:54] - [15:48])
Natalie delves into the profound sorrow and emptiness she felt after the miscarriage, sharing intimate details about her emotional state.
She discusses the societal disconnect surrounding miscarriage, noting the lack of understanding and empathy from others, even those close to her.
Nick reflects on his own feelings of helplessness and the difficulty in fully empathizing with Natalie's experience as a father.
3. The Physical Experience and Trauma ([21:03] - [27:09])
Natalie recounts the physical ordeal of the miscarriage, detailing the sudden and traumatic nature of the event.
She shares the immediate aftermath and the emotional struggle of dealing with the loss while trying to maintain normalcy for their daughter, River.
Nick provides additional context by recounting his own experience and the efforts to support Natalie during this time.
4. Navigating Grief and Seeking Support ([27:25] - [35:58])
The conversation turns to the ongoing process of healing and the complexities of grief. Natalie speaks about the guilt and anger she felt towards herself and her body.
Nick emphasizes the importance of medical support and understanding in navigating such a traumatic experience.
They discuss the concept of "rainbow babies" and the hope it represents for the future, despite the current darkness.
5. Social Media and External Pressures ([35:29] - [42:37])
Natalie addresses the challenges of engaging with social media during her grieving process, expressing frustration and anger upon seeing others' pregnancies.
She acknowledges the complexity of feeling happiness for others while simultaneously grappling with her own loss.
6. Moving Forward and Finding Hope ([42:37] - [45:19])
Despite the lingering pain, both Nick and Natalie express a desire to move forward and find hope amidst their grief. Natalie shares her determination to remember and honor their lost child.
Nick echoes this sentiment, highlighting the strength they draw from each other and the love they have for their existing family.
7. Conclusion: A Message of Solidarity and Healing ([45:19] - [43:42])
In the closing moments, Nick and Natalie reiterate their intent to offer support to listeners who have experienced similar losses. They emphasize the importance of acknowledging such experiences and fostering a supportive community.
Natalie concludes with a heartfelt acknowledgment of her current state and a message of love and gratitude.
Key Takeaways:
Emotional Honesty: Nick and Natalie provide an unfiltered look into the emotional turmoil following a miscarriage, offering listeners a genuine portrayal of their struggles.
Breaking the Silence: By sharing their story, they aim to break the stigma surrounding miscarriage, encouraging others to speak openly about their experiences.
Community and Support: The episode underscores the importance of support systems and understanding from loved ones during such challenging times.
Hope for the Future: Despite the pain, there is an underlying message of hope and the possibility of healing and growing their family in the future.
Notable Quotes:
Natalie at [10:06]: "My sister has had 12 miscarriages... you don't really know the loss that they feel until you go through it yourself."
Nick at [15:48]: "The silver lining of just knowing you can get through stuff... is a much better feeling than wondering if you'll ever get through something."
Natalie at [42:11]: "I'm doing this so that I can look back and I can remember the love and the feelings that I have for this baby that I lost."
Closing Thoughts Episode E875 of The Viall Files is a profound exploration of love, loss, and resilience. Through their heartfelt narrative, Nick and Natalie offer a beacon of hope and understanding to those navigating similar paths. This episode stands as a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the enduring power of familial bonds.