E879 Going Deeper with Carl Radke

Summary

The Viall Files: Episode E879 - Going Deeper with Carl Radke

Release Date: February 5, 2025

In this compelling episode of The Viall Files, host Nick Viall, alongside Natalie Joy and the Household, engages in an in-depth conversation with Carl Radke, a familiar face from reality television shows like Summer House and Vanderpump Rules. The discussion delves into Carl's personal journey, touching on themes of addiction, sobriety, relationships, and the intricate dynamics of being in the public eye.

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1. Reality TV Experiences

Carl opens up about his initial experiences with reality television, expressing surprise at the intimate settings of major shows.

Carl Radke (02:08): "I went to SNL last year as a guest fun. And it was, like, tiny. I was, like, blown away by how. But, like, they do so much in that little area."

He contrasts his expectations with the reality of attending live tapings, highlighting the surprisingly small and intense environments.

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2. Relationship with Lindsay and Their Breakup

A significant portion of the conversation centers around Carl's relationship with Lindsay, their engagement, and the tumultuous breakup that unfolded on camera.

Carl Radke (05:05): "I initially was like, I don't do a ton of these kind of things. Because I always felt like just let the show speak for itself in a way."

Carl explains his reluctance to engage in media discussions, emphasizing his preference to address issues privately rather than publicly.

Carl Radke (06:32): "I like the opportunity to shed more light on more about who I am and kind of the 360 of Carl."

He reflects on the edited portrayal of his relationship, acknowledging the challenges of conveying his side of the story within the constraints of television production.

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3. Struggles with Addiction and Path to Sobriety

Carl bravely shares his battle with addiction, detailing his journey towards sobriety and the factors that influenced his decisions.

Carl Radke (23:01): "I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. So I actually started exploring THC, like tincture, taking little droplets in the evening, helping with sleep."

He discusses the complexities of maintaining sobriety in the high-pressure environment of reality TV, highlighting the support systems that aided his recovery.

Carl Radke (30:58): "And I applaud Mary and her son Robert for opening up like that. I have just applauded people for sharing openly."

Carl emphasizes the importance of open conversations about addiction, aiming to destigmatize the struggles individuals face.

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4. Impact of Brother’s Addiction and Passing

Carl delves into his relationship with his brother, Curtis Radke, whose battle with heroin addiction profoundly affected Carl's life.

Carl Radke (33:14): "I moved to Los Angeles shortly after I graduated from Syracuse. And I had a credit card that I'd gotten. I had, like, a limit of $1,500. And I loved the party still. Then I bought a table in a club in Pittsburgh."

He recounts traumatic childhood experiences, including witnessing his brother's arrests and substance abuse, which fueled his determination to lead a different life.

Carl Radke (42:26): "We had gone into couples therapy about a month after we got engaged the prior summer. So we got engaged at the end of August. We went into couples therapy about October... But how that conversation actually played out is literally how it played out."

Carl shares the heart-wrenching moment of his brother's passing and the lasting impact it has had on his personal growth and commitment to sobriety.

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5. Navigating Public Perception and Media Portrayal

Carl addresses the challenges of maintaining genuine relationships under the scrutiny of public and media attention.

Carl Radke (53:54): "I don't have people come up to me in person ever say, you're an asshole. Never had that. But on social media you do."

He highlights the contrast between in-person interactions and online criticisms, stressing the importance of personal accountability and growth.

Carl Radke (74:07): "I was trying to really get how I could express what I was needing and hoping that she would understand. Now, the way it was delivered and how I think it got interpreted was, I mean, derogatory and misogynist for sure. But that wasn't necessarily my intention."

Carl reflects on specific incidents from the show, such as his request for support and the subsequent misinterpretations, aiming to clarify his true intentions behind his actions.

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6. Entrepreneurial Ventures and Future Prospects

Looking ahead, Carl shares his aspirations and current projects, signaling a new chapter in his professional life.

Carl Radke (86:35): "I just hit four years. No alcohol, no cocaine, no prescription drugs. The only thing I've used is THC, which I've been very open about."

He announces the launch of Soft Bar, a non-alcoholic café and bar in Brooklyn, highlighting his commitment to creating spaces that support his sobriety and offer alternatives to traditional nightlife.

Carl Radke (91:24): "I think I'm realizing more than ever that gotta just stay focused on these, on my career and what I'm building and like that thing."

Carl expresses excitement about his entrepreneurial endeavors, emphasizing his dedication to personal growth and community building.

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7. Reflections on Personal Growth and Closure

In wrapping up, Carl reflects on the lessons learned from his experiences, both personal and televised.

Carl Radke (83:22): "This season you have new romance with people that you want to root for. And I think I was rooting for it but also going, I want to see how this is going to play out."

He underscores the importance of honesty and continuous self-improvement, both in his personal life and as a public figure.

Carl Radke (92:25): "I was nervous at first... I'm happy with that. But I was born in 1985. I didn't have a cell phone until I was a senior in high school."

Carl concludes with a lighthearted reflection on aging and embracing new stages in life, demonstrating resilience and optimism.

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Notable Quotes

• Carl Radke (06:32): "I like the opportunity to shed more light on more about who I am and kind of the 360 of Carl."

• Carl Radke (23:01): "I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. So I actually started exploring THC, like tincture, taking little droplets in the evening, helping with sleep."

• Carl Radke (42:26): "We had gone into couples therapy about a month after we got engaged the prior summer."

• Carl Radke (74:07): "I was trying to really get how I could express what I was needing and hoping that she would understand."

• Carl Radke (86:35): "I just hit four years. No alcohol, no cocaine, no prescription drugs. The only thing I've used is THC, which I've been very open about."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Viall Files offers a heartfelt and honest portrayal of Carl Radke's struggles and triumphs. From battling addiction and navigating the complexities of reality TV relationships to embarking on new entrepreneurial ventures, Carl provides listeners with a candid glimpse into his life. His reflections serve as inspiration, highlighting the importance of self-awareness, accountability, and the relentless pursuit of personal growth.

For those who haven't listened to the episode, Carl's story is a testament to resilience and the power of transformation, making this a must-listen for anyone interested in the real-life challenges behind reality television personas.

Transcript

[Nick Viall]

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[Carl Radke]

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[Nick Viall]

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[Carl Radke]

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[Nick Viall]

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[Carl Radke]

You.

[Nick Viall]

All right? Are you ready?

[Carl Radke]

This is a really nice set, guys.

[Nick Viall]

Thanks, buddy.

[Carl Radke]

That's great. It's funny, like, what you think it's going to look like?

[Nick Viall]

What'd you think it was going to. What did you think it looked like?

[Carl Radke]

You have no idea, right?

[Natalie]

Like, you'd, like, push this and it'd fall down.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. I don't know, like, maybe higher ceilings or.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah, I wish they were higher ceilings.

[Carl Radke]

You know, I didn't know what to expect. Like, a lot of people say that when they come to, like, watch what happens live with Andy, they're like, it's tiny. I'm like, you know, I don't. After you go through it, you're like, I didn't realize how small.

[Nick Viall]

I mean, TV in general. Like, the first time we went to. Well, first time I got to go, like, to a David Letterman taping, I was like, this is it. You know, you think it's going to be like, he this big auditorium.

[Carl Radke]

But same with, like, snl. I went to SNL last year as a guest fun. And it was, like, tiny. I was, like, blown away by how. But, like, they do so much in that little area.

[Natalie]

Oh, yeah. All of, like, the set changes and stuff.

[Nick Viall]

Crazy. How'd you get to go to a.

[Carl Radke]

I befriended Punky Johnson, who's a former. She's not on this current season, but she was on last season and she invited me to her green room one night and it was awesome. It was cool.

[Nick Viall]

I feel like in New York, like, reality TV stars get more respect.

[Carl Radke]

You think?

[Nick Viall]

I don't know. You live there.

[Carl Radke]

I mean, there are parts of. Yeah, I think some people, after a while, you do maybe get a little respect. But early on there, it's funny, there was a group chat of a lot of our mutual friends when we first signed up for Summer House. And there was one of our guy friends who like roasted the original cast. Like, who signed up for it. Like about, you're like, you're idiots. Why are you guys doing this? But over time he's, he's come around.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah. Well, it's funny that we recap Vanderpump on our like Vile Files plus and like last two weeks ago, it was Summer House Rules.

[Carl Radke]

Yes. The first episode I was ever on reality. Well, yeah, sort of tv.

[Nick Viall]

You look fresh there. Real fresh.

[Carl Radke]

True story. That first episode I had come back from a bachelor party in Ibiza. I almost said Ibiza, but I don't want to get punched just yet. I went on a seven day bachelor party and I returned and I had 24 hours. And then that morning I met Kyle at his apartment in Soho and we drove to the Hamptons in my company car for the first day of filming. And he told me in the front seat, he's like, yeah, we're doing something with these girls from la. I was like, he told me what Vanderpump Rules. I didn't know really what it was.

[Nick Viall]

Did you know you were going there to try to film a reality TV show?

[Carl Radke]

I knew something was going to be like, we were going to be followed around. But Kyle was like, we're just gonna do what we always do. Party and have a good time and they'll follow us around and kind of do what we were normally doing. So it didn't seem like that disruptive to our regular. That's scheduling programming.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah, well, Lindsay reminded me when we interviewed her. Is that. Cause I was like, I'm pretty sure I've met Lindsay, but I don't really remember.

[Carl Radke]

She had a PR career that flourished well before.

[Nick Viall]

I think it was after your guys first season. And I was, it was right after I was the Bachelor and I was in New York, I don't know, doing something and we had some mutuals and Lindsay was there and she's like, yeah, I'm on this new show I hadn't watched. I was like, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, like she's like pitching me this shoe and I'm like fresh. I'm like the Bachelor, so I probably have a big head or something. And like fucking seven years later. You got how many years? No, that was like 2017, season nine. Yeah. Seven, like seven, eight years.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. The first season Filmed in the summer of 2016, but it didn't air until 2017.

[Nick Viall]

Oh, that's crazy. Well, welcome, Carl.

[Carl Radke]

Thank you.

[Nick Viall]

Great to have you.

[Natalie]

Appreciate it.

[Carl Radke]

It's great to meet you guys in person.

[Nick Viall]

My team and I, we always love to come up with, like, really? Maybe you've seen a couple, like, sizzles and promos for our show.

[Carl Radke]

Oh, yeah, you guys, whoever's on the editing squad is.

[Nick Viall]

It takes a village.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. I mean, it takes a Hollywood trailer. Like, truly the one for, you know, the one I'm talking about.

[Nick Viall]

Lind.

[Carl Radke]

Oh, yeah.

[Nick Viall]

That was like, I was. That was my.

[Carl Radke]

I don't think my heart raced faster.

[Nick Viall]

Sorry about that. Sorry about that trauma.

[Carl Radke]

I get it. You guys made a great, great show. So.

[Nick Viall]

Well, we were discussing what should Carl's be, and Leah reminded me that we've talked about you a couple times. She reminded me that when west came out that I suggested that you might be too afraid to come on the show.

[Carl Radke]

No, I initially was like, I don't do a ton of these kind of things.

[Nick Viall]

You don't do any.

[Carl Radke]

Because I always felt like just let the show speak for itself in a way. I'm happy to do podcasts about mental health or sobriety, like, really diving deep there, but I sometimes within the show. Half of our fights over the last three or four seasons have been because of stuff like this. And that's where I know on other shows, it's created a lot of conflict. I love doing this stuff, don't get me wrong. But I felt like taking a break from it.

[Nick Viall]

I respect anyone who knows how to have healthy boundaries. And as much as I love doing what we do and as much as we grind to get people like yourself on the show, I absolutely respect people who pick and choose their spots. But, like, you'll see our idea. But the promo, our ideas to start to sizzle, being like, I think Carl's too afraid to come on the show, and this is what we would ask him and blah, blah, blah, and have you sit down and be like, so what do you want to know?

[Carl Radke]

I love it.

[Nick Viall]

It's pretty good idea.

[Carl Radke]

I love it.

[Natalie]

Pretty good.

[Nick Viall]

That being said, I mean, obviously you saw the Lindsay promo. Did you watch that episode with her?

[Carl Radke]

I didn't watch it.

[Nick Viall]

Okay, good. Good for your mental health. Did you hear?

[Natalie]

Good Boundaries, Kyle.

[Carl Radke]

Kyle did listen to it, and some.

[Nick Viall]

Other Kyle listened to it.

[Carl Radke]

Some of their close friends and I.

[Nick Viall]

Someone sent me, like, a Reddit notes.

[Carl Radke]

He's like, someone gotta reach out.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah, I got you. You don't have to listen to it.

[Natalie]

Spark notes.

[Carl Radke]

It was, you know, there was a lot. It was hard, obviously, for a lot of different reasons, but I just didn't feel like it would do me any good to listen to all that. I just let her say her thing and I was really firm on just like, let the season speak for itself.

[Nick Viall]

Okay.

[Carl Radke]

You know, I didn't. We were also advised not to be doing media as well, so she wasn't supposed to do the interview.

[Nick Viall]

Lindsay pr.

[Carl Radke]

So that's. Hey, bless her heart. She's really good at.

[Nick Viall]

We appreciated it.

[Carl Radke]

Of course.

[Natalie]

I am kind of shocked that you. I feel like most people are the opposite. Like, because you aren't in charge of editing and like, what gets out there. Do you not feel like your story is a little chopped and mixed? Like, you know, like, I feel like people do like to do podcasts in longer formats because they're like, oh, this is where I can. People can get to know me. And I'm not edited. I'm not cut down. It's not. Things shifted around. So that's interesting.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. I mean, I, trust me, I like the opportunity to shed more light on more about who I am and kind of the 360 of Carl. I mean, you get to see. I mean, I feel like I'm quoting every Bravo person. Every episode's only 42 minutes long and there's commercial breaks, so you only really see 8 minutes and 43 seconds of my real life. It is kind of true, but it is. I, in the last year or two with the whole breakup stuff, I spent a lot of time just trying my best, like, figure out how do I navigate all this. It's a difficult situation. I didn't want to make it any more challenging than it already was. And I felt like it was best just to stay quiet, wait until the season airs, really try to heal and watch it back and try to like, move on from it. But yeah, I mean, trust me, if I can get a chance to, like, clear the air and like, there's so many tell my side. But I'm also, I remind myself too sometimes, like, it's tough in this world. On Bravo, you have very women dominated audience. Sometimes just shutting the fuck up is better and just taking accountability and saying, you know what? I screwed up. I'm going to go work on myself and just do that. I learned from other guys on other Bravo shows that don't shut the fuck up and it doesn't help them.

[Nick Viall]

Well, I just want to point out to my audience and to anyone Listening to this. Ever since Lindsay came on, I have been begging, whoever your people are, I have never spoken to you directly. I probably DM'd you a couple times, but, like, I have relentlessly tried to get you on the show. So it's not because you have pitched yourself or tried to come on. I very much. You're doing us a favor.

[Carl Radke]

I was excited once I had some more time and some time to heal. I mean, even after filming this past summer, it. I mean, it took me until, like, June to really, like, just get my confidence and, like, my own self in a good place. And I finally, you know, feel, like, good. Like, I felt like I was telling. Talking to my mom about coming on to this, and I was explaining who he was and his. What I know of Nick. And, you know, she. I think recognized you or was familiar, but I just said, she's like, well, why would you want to go on that if, you know, if maybe you have a bad feeling or. I didn't have a bad feeling, but I was just saying, like, I'm nervous maybe. And she's like, this is a chance to go start a fresh chapter with someone, and you have a whole new audience that Nick talks to, and maybe there's a chance for you to, like, just show that who you really are in the last year. And we love your mom. So I didn't want to build any resentment or anxiety from the past. I'm trying to work through all that stuff.

[Nick Viall]

Well, that I appreciate that and thank your mom for giving you that extra boost to come on the show. I'm just like. As you talking, I'm, you know, like, you said, like, you and you and Lindsey. It's like reality timing is so fucking crazy. It's like, we interviewed Lindsay like, a year and a half ago.

[Carl Radke]

It was right after Bravocon in Vegas.

[Nick Viall]

Okay.

[Carl Radke]

So it was November of 2023.

[Nick Viall]

But, yeah, you know, and so much has happened. And, like, you know, Lindsay came on here and, like, said her truth. Obviously, we heard her point of view. We were, you know, a lot of like, oh, my God, I can't believe. Carl.

[Carl Radke]

Sorry to laugh. I'm just laughing because it's, you know, like.

[Nick Viall]

And then I will say, though, like, we did watch the season unfold. We got to watch it. And I don't think. I mean, usually when I have a pov, I'm like, yeah, I feel good about this. But you guys, like, it was like, one episode. I was like, man, I don't know. Like, fuck, Carl. Then it was just like, I think Lindsey really fucked him over here. Like, what is going on? I really didn't know where I stood. I mean, again, I really felt like there were times I was empathizing with you, and it was like, maybe Lindsay is just. Like, I don't. Like, maybe she just needs. And then sometimes I was like, I don't know, Carl. Yeah. So it was. I'm glad that we finally have you here. Because it was. It really was a storyline that seemed to have more than just one side.

[Carl Radke]

It did. And there's always two sides. I think, you know, someone says it best. There's, you know, there's two sides and then there's the truth. You know, I. Her. Her feelings are valid, all of it. Her experience is valid and what she, you know, went through. And I don't want to undermine that. But, yeah, like, I. All. I know at the end of the day, I feel like the right decision was made that we should not move forward with the wedding. Now, how it was, how it all unfolded, how everything went. I mean, you could always pick that apart. But I struggle with some of it. Just because it was such a difficult summer in that particular conversation. Like, I didn't set her up with producers. Like, they were already doing pickup filming after we had wrapped that last day and knew we weren't in a good place, so we were going to have to talk on camera one way or another. But how that conversation actually played out is literally how it played out. Like, I didn't walk into that wanting to end it. But unfortunately, that's kind of how it all distilled out. But the falling out of it all from that day was what made it. I don't. I didn't process at all, like, what was gonna happen after. Like, you have that conversation, and, like, within an hour of that, like, it was on the Internet, we had broken up. I went down the street to a hotel to get some space. I stayed in that hotel that night. And then the next morning, I had gotten a text from her friends saying, hey, if you wanna stop back and get some things from the apartment. Cause I was gonna go back and visit my mom in Pittsburgh. I went back to the apartment and there was. I met a producer there to get some stuff. And as I'm coming out of the apartment, there's paparazzi outside of the house. And I was like, holy shit. And I was going to LaGuardia. And by the time I had gotten to LaGuardia, it was on front page of Page Six. Like, Carl's, like, running off to the airport. And I'm like, holy shit. Like, it got really crazy for a period of time. I think that's what made it just really unique. It felt, you know, like just. It was so public and so out there, and not everybody had seen what I. What had gone on all summer.

[Nick Viall]

So I'm trying to figure out a way to frame this, the question, because, like, again, getting to know you a little bit here, having an opportunity to interview Lindsay, I mean, listen, opposites do attract a lot, but, like, in so many ways, you guys could not be further. Further apart from people. Like, clearly, what must have made your relationship work in a lot of ways was the way that, like, you did balance each other out. Right?

[Carl Radke]

Sure.

[Nick Viall]

But, like, you know, we've all had our fun with, like, pr, Lindsay and things like that. But I guess my question to you, not to necessarily go back to, like, the decision to break up with her, how you broke up with her, and just the fallout, but, like, you know, you are someone who. And I say this as someone who. Who I like to strategize. I. I'm. I. I can. I think you can be a genuine person and calculated, but you seem a lot less calculated than Lindsay, and Lindsay has a PR background, and I couldn't help but wonder. In your defense, however, whatever your intentions were when you broke up, like, that must have been in the back of your mind, you know, if I break up with my girlfriend, my fiance, we are public figures. We're on a TV show. She. She knows what to do here. Like, she. Like, how do I. You know, to me, it would make sense that you leaned, in a way on the show like, that. You're just like, oh, well, I'll do a lot. Because, like, Natalie had an interesting question. It's just like, it's interesting that you relied on the show to tell the story, even though the story becomes Bravo's story and not your story. Because even. Even if they wanted to tell the whole story, they got commercials. It's an only hour epis. And was there a part of you doing it on camera that regardless of your intention and whether you thought it was going to end up that way or whether you planned that but letting it play out is because at least Lindsay couldn't control that narrative as well as she's usually good at controlling narratives?

[Carl Radke]

Yeah.

[Nick Viall]

I mean, that makes sense.

[Carl Radke]

It does, it does. Trust me. I wrote statements. I had planned podcast interviews that I canceled. I thought a lot about doing what you were asking, like, sharing my side of the story. But like I said, it felt to Me as a. As a male, like, getting in a public platform and trying to, like, defend myself. It just didn't feel right. Even though I felt like I did. What I think you do is right, which is if it's not right to move forward the wedding you don't like. I didn't want to be that guy that stood up there, and it wasn't right. But I'm telling you, when I went into that summer, the amount of money we invested in all of it. I missed our cancellation for the wedding to get a full refund by 7 days.

[Nick Viall]

Wow.

[Carl Radke]

I wasn't thinking about canceling anything other than trying to get on the same page with her.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah, that's. That's a valid statement.

[Carl Radke]

Had I been seven days. Had I been about seven days sooner, I would have saved around $150,000.

[Nick Viall]

Wow.

[Carl Radke]

But that wasn't in my brain. I was just trying to, like, land the plane with her.

[Nick Viall]

That was an excellent point. It's hard. It's hard to accuse you of being premeditated.

[Carl Radke]

Honestly, if I was smart, I would have done it two months prior and saved myself a ton of money and pain and misery. But I. The thing with me and her, someone asked me, even recently, do you miss her? I was with Luke, actually. We're still very tight. Luke goes, do you miss her at all? And I said, yeah, of course. She brought out the child in me. At times, we were very silly. We had a lot of funny jokes. The history we've had over the years of filming Summer House off camera, what people don't realize is you spend two and a half hours on the drive from Manhattan to the Hamptons pretty much every Friday, and then on Sunday, for the first six or seven seasons, her and I pretty much rode out there and back for the most part. So we built a very strong bond. But I think as you get, like, into this world, like, it's nice to, like, date someone or be with someone who gets it and knows what it's like and understands all these things. She also is, like. I mean, Lindsay's, like, a lot of fun. I had a ton of fun with her over the time. So I think how it kind of all transpired, like, us getting together, it was almost like it was destined to be. Like, we had spent so much time with each other. We had this kind of chemistry. And I'd gotten sober, had about eight, nine months under my belt. But that was that pivotal time where I probably should have been, like, I really need to stay focused on me and not enter into a Relationship. I was advised by many people in AA and other groups, stay sober a year, don't enter a relationship. And I did break that rule with her. Now the argument I made to myself was, we're best friends. We've known each other forever.

[Nick Viall]

When you're in love.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. And I don't know, it's. I've learned a ton over the last couple years as a result of this whole thing. And I don't have any regret. Like, I'm glad I tried to pursue a relationship with her. I wish things. Maybe I wish I could have handled things differently. I never wanted to hurt her. But I think you'll see after watching this new season of the show, it was kind of wild to see her. It made me, in a weird way, like, happy, because I saw her happy outside of me. She had a really fun summer with the rest of the group. People actually said like, I wish she was pregnant more often, you know, like, because she was just happier and just in a lighter mood and her demeanor was for the most part really positive, which was nice.

[Nick Viall]

So less activated, Lindsey.

[Carl Radke]

Very less activated and even funnier. We both were. You know, she had her non alcoholic drinks, I had mine. Now we didn't cross pollinate. She had her own.

[Natalie]

Do you think you will always know your intention going into the day you broke up with her and she'll always have her perception and they'll always be different?

[Carl Radke]

Yeah, I think probably some realities will be different. Um, but I think, like I said, I. I lived that summer, you know, and I. One thing I want to remind people that I don't think are fully aware is we had gone into couples therapy about a month after we got engaged the prior summer. So we got engaged at the end of August. We went into couples therapy about October and it was like we had still had these kind of conflicts and this challenge of communication styles. And I'm not kidding, like, we at one point in our couples therapy did a Gottman exam. And a Gottman exam is each couple takes it individually, then the therapist reviews the results and then has meetings with you individually to kind of understand more about the psychological things going on in the relationship. And I'm telling you, the alarm was sounded big time when these tests were revealed individually.

[Nick Viall]

That's like the couple, they're all the couple. And they can Predict with like 98% accuracy based on how you communicate, you know, whether you will get divorced or not.

[Carl Radke]

And there was a lot of things trickled down from that which were very real in the relationship but were very, you Know, things that we had to really focus on. But we went into a couple of therapists office every week from October, November of that fall to the basically the time we broke up that you saw.

[Natalie]

Do you feel like you were just going to go or do you feel like y'all were actively doing the work?

[Carl Radke]

I felt like we were doing the work. And honestly there was things that we learned in the room, like certain tools that we would try to implement within a conversation or within an argument to try and either diffuse or create more of like a safe space to have that kind of dialogue. We both are emotional people and I think sometimes the world we played in. I'll give you an example. Like Kyle went on an interview and said some stuff that Lindsay had said about me. And like at home you don't have like a babe. I wish you would have said something different like it's what the fuck you know. And like you get a level of intensity in her and I, as you've seen in previous seasons, have an intensity behind it. So it. We weren't communicating as I think healthy adults, but we were trying to use those tools in the room. But every. I feel like we would go two steps forward and one step back.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Nick Viall]

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[Carl Radke]

That particular moment? I wasn't on anything. What I'll fully admit is I drank Red Bull.

[Nick Viall]

That'll fuck you up.

[Carl Radke]

And it had been something that had happened some other situations in our relationship where I drank a fair amount of Red Bull. Actually, the day before we got engaged, I drank a ton of Red Bull and I actually went to the er. I mean, she's told this story. It was on an episode from that season. That night. I was excited to be there because we're with our group of friends. The more energy you're giving to the program, the better it is. You gotta bring it. And I drank a couple Red Bulls, was excited, but I wasn't on any drugs. Now, how I define my sobriety. In my first year, I worked this program. Go to a. Worked the steps fully sober. As I've entered into additional years of my sobriety journey, I started to try and figure out how do I resolve my anxiety and depression. There are ways you can do it naturally, but I didn't want to be prescribed Xanax, which I was in the past, and I abused. I was prescribed Adderall. I abused that. I used to be prescribed Ambien. So when I got sober, I was like, how do I keep my anxiety levels and my depression in a reasonable place? And I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. So I actually started exploring thc. Like tincture, taking little droplets in the evening, helping with sleep. I found a medical grade pen. Now, at times, sometimes socially, yeah, I would take some thc, but in those moments, I was completely dead sober. And I think that's where I was. It felt so, like, strange because I was really sober. And she's like, having these feelings, but it also, like that moment. The Cocaine Carl thing, I mean, no one's ever called me that.

[Nick Viall]

That's in the history of your fiance.

[Carl Radke]

The nickname I had. Anybody who really knows me, because I had a. I'm a coke addict. I'm an alcoholic. Like, I was a crazy cocaine person. Anybody who knew me, it was Crazy Carl. That was my name. Cocaine Carl was never anything that was uttered. And that's why it felt so crazy. But I never knew she said that until the show aired. I'd heard some from someone after the fact. Like, she said something about cocaine, and I'm like, okay, whatever. And then the show aired, and that's what I watched oh, that's interesting. But I want to say this, and I've been really practicing a lot. Like, Lindsay deserves a lot of credit because dating someone who has addiction, who has challenges like myself, it's very challenging for them, and they deserve more grace, I think, sometimes than they get. It's not easy. I also didn't know how to communicate all the time what I was needing from my partner to best support me at one point. Al Anon was something that was brought up, which I think would have been a really healthy thing for the both of us, but that never was explored. You know, she never did go to. And I'm not blaming her for that, but I think there could have been some things maybe learned from that element. But, you know, like, she. She also was very supportive at times. She really knew that I socially was maybe struggling at, you know, certain elements of stuff. But she always, when I first got sober, was like, so helpful and like, inviting me places and I could be myself around her.

[Nick Viall]

Well, I appreciate you saying that because, well, one, I mean, I've been fortunate enough that, like, I. I haven't had to a personally deal with addiction. And fortunately, people in my inner circle, I haven't had that much experience with it, but I know enough to know how challenging it can be. And just like, you know, reality TV in general, what is asked of all of you and couple that with you trying to be sober, stay sober, be on the sobriety journey, be vulnerable with your fiance, be in. You know, it's like, it's. It's not. It's a. It's a.

[Carl Radke]

It's not easy.

[Nick Viall]

It's not easy.

[Carl Radke]

Well, I mean, I said this. Someone asked me, I was at TomTom on Saturday, shout out. So hi to Schwartz. Yeah, they had a little. Little brunch.

[Nick Viall]

How's Tommy doing?

[Carl Radke]

He's good. Good. He seems good. He actually. Almost like a weight lifted off his shoulders almost. Now that the other things have been kind of closed, I think he was. I mean, the amount of cash they were burning and all of it, but he seems like in a really good place. But someone asked me on Saturday, like, here I am standing at Tom Tom people ripping shots, and I'm just drinking a mocktail. And then people like, how do you film Summerhouse around all these people? And I mean this. I wouldn't be on Summer House if I did drink, because I wouldn't be there. I literally would not be there. Anybody who knows, earlier summers, the show I drank on, the car rides out, my famous term was playing through. So I Go out Thursday night in New York City, play through shower, go to the production car. The next morning, I'd have either a brown paper bag of twisted tea or whatever I wanted. And that's what I did for many summers.

[Natalie]

When do you think you realized you had an addiction to cocaine and alcohol?

[Carl Radke]

Honestly, I didn't want to admit it fully. I'll never forget there was a. She's a woman. She's an executive at one of the companies we work with, and she's been very, very helpful and supportive of me over the years. And they knew what was going on. They were mic'd up half the time, and they could see certain things. But I was basically sat down at one point in 2019 by executives that were like, hey, we're concerned. I was like, okay, it's my drink in. I got it figured out. No, it wasn't just my drinking, but I thought I could just get away with saying, it's just my drinking. But anybody who knew Carl knew that one drink, and it was on. It was on always. But she at one point said to me, carl, and I'll never forget it, she looked at me and she's like, is it just your drinking? And I started, like, unraveling because for the first time, I actually had someone call me out and say, I know it's not just alcohol. It's coke and pills and all the other shit. As a result, I would take Xanax to kind of come down. I would take Ambien to help sleep, all the things. But it still wasn't, like, right away, like, I'm gonna go to, you know, get my help. I did it in my own, you know, bullish, alpha male way. Like, I'll figure it out. I'll do this. But, yeah, I mean, I had a lot of people tell me early on, like, hey, you need to get some help. But it wasn't until this particular adult told me, I know. And I'm like, oh, shit. But it wasn't still from that point. It took me another year and a half, two years to actually fall on my knees. But it was a rock bottom moment that I had that really rocked. I mean, that particular summer season five was the COVID summer of summer house. We were all locked in this house, you know, and I. My mom had gotten remarried, and a week later, my brother had passed away. And I got the phone call while we were filming. Paige also tells a story. Like, she could hear me crying from bedroom to bedroom. She, like, woke up at seven in the morning because that's When I got the call, and I immediately ran up to Kyle's bedroom to tell him what had happened. And everybody really rallied around me that particular summer. And. But it was when the summer ended, I went back to my old Soho apartment. As I would joke, it was like my fuckboy paddle. And I went right back into doing drugs and drinking all the time, but I was doing it alone. I would drink all day by myself and do cocaine by myself in my apartment. And, like, call people, text people, say crazy shit. Just was on this downward spiral. But in early in that fall of 2019, I was telling Lindsey, I need to move out of my SoHo apartment. I need to get out of here. Maybe that'll help. She's like, check out my building. And I had been going to her building a fair amount, and her building had some availability. So I actually found an apartment in Lindsay's building that December of 2019 and moved in. And that's what developed our friendship even further. But I thought at the time, like, it'd be good to be around a friend if I'm going to actually go and, like, get sober. But, yeah, I moved into that apartment. And first weekend, I told myself, I'm going to get in this new apartment. I'm not going to drink or do drugs in it. That lasted a day. And from that point on, like, Early January of 2021 is when the show was gonna be airing soon in that Covid season, I was gonna have to watch the episode of my brother. Like, I just had this horrible anxiety and all this fear and shame. Cause here I am drinking alone, doing cocaine alone, and people were celebrating me at that time. Cause I was seemingly doing okay publicly, and people were celebrating how I was reacting to my brother's passing. And it was the most. I mean, talk about. What's the term? Not fraud, but there's another term I'm drawing a blank on.

[Nick Viall]

Imposter syndrome.

[Carl Radke]

Imposter syndrome. I felt like. Because I felt like I was getting, like, all. Like, there was literally an article. I screenshotted it from the sun, whatever, the UK tabloid.

[Nick Viall]

Oh, that's like.

[Carl Radke]

Fans praise Carl Radke for the. You know, how he's dealing with the passing of his brother. I'm literally holding a jar of cocaine in my hand reading this, and I'm like, this is terrible. But I kept kind of digging myself deeper because all this fear of my brother's episode that was going to be coming.

[Natalie]

Can we talk about your brother?

[Carl Radke]

Sure.

[Natalie]

We all close?

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. I mean, he was kind of my.

[Natalie]

Is he older? Or younger.

[Carl Radke]

He was five years older than me. His birthday will be tomorrow.

[Nick Viall]

Oh, wow.

[Carl Radke]

He would have been 45 years old.

[Nick Viall]

Wow.

[Carl Radke]

No, he was an amazing athlete. I love sports. I looked up to him. I'd say, I think for a period of time, he was my hero. He was somebody I always just, like, admired and wanted to be like until he went kind of a different direction. And that was around since we're five years apart. It was around when I was eight or nine years old when I started to see more things at home. You know, he was drinking, getting invites to my parents, running away. There was police activity at our house. I mean, he had gotten arrested. I mean, the police had been at our home countless times. And I told this story. My mom's like, oh, you're revising history. And I'm like, this is what I remember. But I was having a party at our home, and we lived in a small house in Pittsburgh. We weren't poor, but blue collar, worked hard, and I had a group of friends over, and my brother had gotten in some sort of involved in some sort of issue, like a robbery at a convenience store the night before. And we had five cop cars show up to our house on a Saturday afternoon with NFL playoff football on in January. And basically, cop knocks the door. We have a warrant to search the house. We have to arrest your son. So my brother gets arrested in front of all my friends, and he's like a teenager. He's, like, 17. I was like, 12. Wow. And my dad, I'll never forget, he calls some of the friends of mine's parents to come pick up their kids. And it's just like, that was stuff that happened in high school a lot. And most people around our town or friends of mine all knew that my brother had issues. But at that point, I was like, I distanced myself. So to answer your question, was, were we close? Yes. But no. Like, I didn't want to be like him. I walked into my high school, and everybody's like, oh, watch out for Curtis Racke's brother. So I made a point very early on. I'm going to do the exact opposite of everything he did.

[Nick Viall]

How did you come to even start consuming cocaine and some of these other drugs?

[Carl Radke]

Syracuse University. I have a small smile on my face because, honestly, I think it was a crash course in not only drinking, but cocaine use. And anybody who went to Syracuse would say this, but my roommates from college, you know, I went to Pitt. I was in Pittsburgh. Like, we didn't. I didn't know what Coke was really. Until college. But my roommate in college, we went to Acapulco, and that was the first time I did cocaine. Was in Acapulco, Mexico, on one of those spring break trips. But it wasn't until really, I got back to New York in my later 20s, where it was more of like a.

[Natalie]

It's definitely more of a thing in New York.

[Carl Radke]

It was a thing. And, like, I joked, like, you could order a bag quicker than you can get a pizza. And it's true. I would play that game at night with friends. I'd be like, you order a pizza, I'll order coke and see who gets here first. Just stupid. I'm not glorifying it, trust me.

[Nick Viall]

No, no. But I mean, thanks for opening up about that.

[Carl Radke]

No. And then I'd say it gave me a confidence. I'm a people pleaser. When I was growing up, for the most part, like, I was shy some at points, even though, like, I didn't mature as fast as some of my guy friends, I was a little more like. I don't know, I just wasn't, like, fully filled out. So I was a late bloomer. So I didn't have confidence all the time to, like, walk up to girls or. I always felt, like, a little, like, not fully, like, confident. Discovering alcohol and cocaine gave me, like, this. This other, like, my mom jokes, it's like, you're on steroids. I was different kinds, but it gave me, like, this confidence to, like. To be someone I thought I would be, like.

[Nick Viall]

Or just get out of your head. And, you know, I have anxiety, too. Like, I overthink, and it's just like. Yeah, like, that's what it does. It just. It just kind of lowers those inhibitions, you know, that have its consequences. But some of the positives is doing that is just get out. Get out of your own fucking way. Sometimes it feels like.

[Carl Radke]

Right, totally. But New York especially, I mean, I. You'd walk into a bathroom, any bathroom, for the most part, you're not trying to do it that night, but someone's doing a key bump at the stall, and you're like, all right, fuck it.

[Nick Viall]

I appreciate you opening it up, because I think it's just one of those things that, like, again, people will talk about getting sober. They'll talk about AA a lot. And I. I'm. You know, the little bit I know about AA is when you go there, you will share some of the stories and some of the shit that happened. But I think I feel like, publicly that it doesn't get Discussed a lot. And I think, you know, as two young parents, we have a one year old and, like, life's great right now and like, you know, she's, you know, we can take. Great. It's easy to take good care of her, you know, you just have to be present and give a shit. Right. I'm sure you're aware on some level, but like Salt Lake City, Mary has opened up about her son's addictions, and that's powerful.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah. Well, I'm curious what you think about that, but we were talking about it earlier today, and I just, like, I give Mary a lot of credit, you know, because, like, you can't. You don't. There's no way you can't watch Mary and talk about her son. That is a woman who loves her son. You know, she is a. She is a present parent, you know, and she talks about just how involved she is in her son's life, and yet she didn't know this was going on. And I think part of it is just like talking about the accessibility of these things and talking about the lifestyle that you were leading when shit like, happened. I think I just feel like it doesn't really get discussed publicly enough where, like, parents, you know, anyone listening now just like, this shit is out there. You don't have to be a kid from the wrong side of the tracks or whatever the fuck it is. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's. It's very easy for anyone to get caught up in shit like this if you don't know what you're looking for. And, and you can never assume that you or your kids are safe if, you know, it's. So talking about this shit and putting it out there, I think brings a lot of awareness that is otherwise, not totally.

[Carl Radke]

And I applaud Mary and her son Robert for opening up like that. I mean, it helps me. And like, unfortunately, with certain topics, you know, I think it's challenging to discuss some of the addiction stuff publicly. I, you know, I don't know if people remember this, but early on in Summer House, I talked about my brother's addiction. And it actually caused a huge rift between us because I spoke about it almost making an excuse of why I was acting the way I was acting. I was like, oh, my brother struggles with drugs at home. He's a heroin addict making light of it. And he had seen that. So it's really. It's hard to discuss these topics publicly. But I think the more we do, the more it kind of destigmatizes it and just lessens, like, the fear or shame or guilt, because that's a big part of it. I don't know. I feel like I. I'm called, in a way to, like, you just open up and be really honest. Because I'm telling you, the amount of people that still aren't really honest about cocaine or pills, maybe the drinking is.

[Nick Viall]

Less so, but, like, because it's so socially acceptable.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. Where, you know, you have a lot of parents and I. It gave me a lot of grace for my mom and my dad, and I think, hopefully for parents like yourself, as your children get older, how challenging it is to support and understand a child or a sibling who struggles with drugs or alcohol. It created a massive. We thought, my brother's fucked up. He was an asshole. He's a piece of shit. No, he's sick. It's like, how do you shift that thinking from. This person's horrible. They're stealing from us, they're lying to us, they're cheating, all these things. But it took a lot of work to get onto this side, which is. He can't help himself. There's a small kid in there that's really sick and struggling. And it was important to, like, seeing stuff like Mary and Robert, like, parents do the best they can, and sometimes that's not even good enough either, you know, and it's. I have just applaud people for sharing openly. I want to keep sharing openly because I hope it creates others that want to talk openly. I know five years ago, I would have thought I would have ever admitted publicly I had a cocaine problem. Like, you would have been crazy. But now it's like. Like, it just. There's no point in not owning it.

[Natalie]

Did you ever. With your brother. I know y'all weren't as close through your teenage years. Did you reconnect at any point?

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. So when. When I graduated from college, you know, we. I moved to Los Angeles shortly after I graduated from Syracuse. And I had a credit card that I'd gotten. I had, like, a limit of $1,500. And I loved the party still. Then I bought a table in a club in Pittsburgh. We were balling out. It was like a thousand bucks. And my brother had heard through the grapevine that I spent a thousand dollars at the nightclub. And I'd moved to LA like, a couple days after this. And he, like, lit me up. He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? You know, you're moving to la, you're about to start your dream, and like, you're pissing. So he was giving me tough brother love at that point. And then I joined the show. And he originally was really happy for me and so pumped, and he watched the show to support me. He turns on the show and it's me in the interview chair talking head, going, yeah, my brother's a heroin addict. So this is true. You can ask Kyle or any other season. Lindsey, remember this? My brother went on Facebook at that time and posted and posted. This is the drug addict brother that Carl Radke on Bravo, he tagged executives on Bravo, he tagged Kyle, Lindsay, the season one cast. My brother went on this Facebook tirade, and then sadly, like a month later, my grandfather passed. And his name's Carl Radke. I took on the same name. My grandfather was like a big center rock of our family. And he had passed away. And I was carrying the casket with my brother for this funeral, and we both were supposed to give eulogies, but he hated me. We didn't speak to each other. And the only time he spoke to me is we were carrying my grandfather's casket. And I just tried to tell him I loved him and I was sorry. And that's actually the last time I spoke to him. So I still. I don't know. It's hard. I had an opportunity to talk to him before we filmed season five because he wanted to reach out and connect. But basically, my TV show, what I said about his addiction created a massive divide. And the last time I'd spoke to him for real was actually at my grandfather's funeral.

[Nick Viall]

How have you worked through that? Because that would be. You seem. You clearly are talking to you as someone who's really done some work, try.

[Carl Radke]

More to go, but sure, we all do.

[Nick Viall]

But that's a heartbreaking story.

[Carl Radke]

It's something I've had to. I've struggled to live with a little bit because I think a lot of us, sometimes when you have a loved one who's struggling, how it's really hard to deal with it. And I was very selfish. I was also in my own addiction and blaming other people and not taking accountability or responsibility. But what I learned from that and how we talk about people's challenges or struggles is very important. And it's key to, like, really take a step back and realize, like, you wouldn't be mad at someone who has cancer or someone who's got a broken leg. But for whatever reason on these, like, this other mental stuff and these addictions, like, it's really hard for people to, like, have some grace and Understand, a lot of times these people aren't. They wish they could change too, but they don't know how.

[Natalie]

How did y'all even find out that he had a heroin addiction?

[Carl Radke]

I mean, I actually used to watch him shoot heroin. We lived in a very small house that we shared A. It was a, you know, one floor on the second floor of our house, but it was just one big room. On my left side was where I slept and on his side. So I didn't realize at the time when I was about 12, I. I saw him with needles and stuff and I found needles, man.

[Nick Viall]

So he was doing that shit for a while.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. And that's what's even crazier. And I think how I am at peace with it. My brother is in a safer place. He lived a very hard life and a lot of folks who are in severe heroin addiction. My dad used to take him to the methadone clinic and. Have you ever seen the show on FX with Michael Keaton?

[Nick Viall]

Yeah.

[Carl Radke]

Dope sick. I couldn't get. I couldn't get through it. It's. It's very painful to watch some of that because of just. That world is very. It's upsetting.

[Nick Viall]

It's very. It's.

[Carl Radke]

It's just, it's. It's unbelievable. But my dad made the comment to me when he would take him there. He's like, you don't see any old people there. Literally 22 year old kids walking on his methadone clinic. You don't see anybody past that. And he's like, you know why? I'm like, of course. So my brother lived well past most people, but the way I look at it now, like, if I could have changed and gone back that episode of Summer House and not get that call while we're filming, I would have done that. But I. The way I look at it and the way I've turned it over is my brother at his core. I was told this after he passed, but like in rehabs, he would administer Narcan to other people. He was kind of leading little groups of the younger guys, being like, hey, I'm 44, like still, or whatever how old he was. He always wanted to help people. And as a vehicle through me, if I can tell his story and honor myself by getting sober, getting help, what kind of person am I if I don't do that? After going through something like that, I felt like it was honoring my family, honoring my brother, and honoring myself was like, I had to really look in the mirror here and I wouldn't have really done that if my brother had not had that happen, but it happening so publicly. I mean, I've had thousands and thousands and thousands of messages, I'm sure, like Mary and Robert have been getting and that kind of accolade and love that to me was the amount of people that I've touched and my brother touched and helped maybe one or two people. Then I think my brother would say, like, that's a plus. Right? Like, I would do anything to get him back.

[Natalie]

But what's something that you loved about your brother?

[Carl Radke]

He had an amazing sense of humor. I said this yesterday to someone. The show Arrested Development, when it first came out on Fox, it was not like people did not go, this is amazing before it's time. It got basically canceled after the first season. But my brother used to watch Arrested Development first season, and I just remember him laughing to this show and I'm like, why is this funny? It was, but it was before we were ready for it. But he had an amazing sense of humor and he loved music. So to this day I turn on certain songs and listen to music with them, so.

[Nick Viall]

Well, thank you for sharing all that. I know it's not easy and I know the fight against addiction is an ongoing one and one that you'll never fully conquer. But how are you doing and do you feel like you're a pretty comfortable place right now and reduced from risks of going back to that?

[Carl Radke]

Yeah, definitely. You know, I think working the program and working steps, hearing other people's stories of strength and hope, as they say. You know, you said something earlier, which kind of like the perception of going to AA is like everybody's got like a brown paper bag and they're dirty and haggard looking. And yes, there are folks that are still really struggling and come in like that. But I was blown away by the other side of this world, which was Goldman Sachs executives, actors you've recognized on major TV shows, successful people, well to do individuals who couldn't get out of the way of drugs or alcohol. And hearing that and seeing other people living like that, I was like, oh, I can do that too. I probably could have gotten sober without it. But staying and then now being social, going out, filming a reality show, that there's a lot of drinking. Yeah, I've learned a lot where now it's just like, I don't even. It doesn't even faze me because I just know what it's going to, how it's going to affect me. Like, you don't drink bleach, right? Like, I Look at alcohol the same way. Just. It's going to make me sick and I'm going to do drugs and I'm probably going to die.

[Nick Viall]

That's. Well, but credit to all you, all the work you've done.

[Carl Radke]

It's. Trust me, I still, to answer your question in full, like, I feel pretty good. I'm also still learning, you know, how to communicate as, like, a sober person. I'm. I still have emotions and still get bothered by things. And there's a lot of work that still goes into staying this way or dealing with life as it comes at you, because things. I lost my chapstick in the car outside on the way here, and I was mad for 30 seconds and it's stupid, right? Take a breath. It's fucking chapstick. Who cares? Had I been drunk, I probably would have flipped out of the driver and told him, your car sucks. How can a chapstick fall through the. Like, the seat. Yeah. So for me, it just. It creates like. Instead of, like, these peaks and valleys that I used to live off of, it's now just like a wave. And the more you're waved like this and something crazy comes up here, the better you can deal with it.

[Nick Viall]

Well, I mean, you know, and also people who don't struggle with addiction. I mean, for me, like, growing, like, maturing and getting older as a human being is to, like, realize, like, all the shit I don't really need to give a fuck about. And I just decided to for whatever reason, you know, it's just like.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. It's funny how, like, perspective and some time, some space from things and how that does help. Just taking a pause and.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah.

[Carl Radke]

Reflecting on things. But. Yeah. I. I don't know.

[Nick Viall]

I saw in here you went to Harvard Business School.

[Carl Radke]

I did a program.

[Nick Viall]

Okay.

[Carl Radke]

From my.

[Nick Viall]

It's pretty cool.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. So when I worked at. It's called ormco, stands for Orthodontic Research Manufacturing Company. We sold orthodontic supplies and dental supplies, and they had a program that you could apply for within staying working there full time, but also going to this digital hardware business school course.

[Nick Viall]

That's very cool.

[Natalie]

That's really cool.

[Carl Radke]

I struggled at it big time.

[Nick Viall]

Oh, well, I hate school.

[Carl Radke]

It was very hard.

[Nick Viall]

Can we talk about. And maybe you'll remember the specifics more than I do because it was a bit ago, but the whole softer Lindsay conversation, because I think that was a time in which we were less Team Carl. Yeah.

[Carl Radke]

I'm glad we can talk about this, because I feel some of that was Taken out of context to a degree.

[Nick Viall]

Okay, yeah. Can you. But can you share your point of view from that time? Yeah, kind of. Maybe even offer. Bring people back to that time. And what was.

[Carl Radke]

There's a really good quote about this that I found. Lao Tzu, he's a philosopher and he's got these really beautiful quotes about softness. And he says, soft is strong. And I know this probably doesn't answer your question, and I understand why people are where Lindsay was coming from in some of the softer commentary, what she was comparing. It's like saying to a man, be more like a man. And I understand in how I maybe delivered that and what I was expressing. But I think what I struggle with a little bit is Lindsay has all those qualities. Lindsay can be very warm and soft and offering that support. And that's all I was looking for because she has given that in other instances. But when you're looking for a new career and you're weighing options for a job and you're trying to get the buy in from your partner, when up until that point it had been contentious about what I was trying to do with a career and what I was doing next, I was thinking in my head, like, I can express what I was needing and hoping that she would understand. Now, the way it was delivered and how I think it got interpreted was, I mean, derogatory and misogynist for sure. But that wasn't necessarily my intention. It was more about, you know, I have anxiety and depression and a lot of times, like, how I can feel better is like a hug. And I know I got torched for asking her for a hug in that particular moment.

[Nick Viall]

I mean, you know.

[Carl Radke]

But, you know, I will say you.

[Nick Viall]

Mentioned this earlier before, you know, women. Oh, go ahead.

[Carl Radke]

I was going to read the quote. What is soft is strong. Water is fluid, soft and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield as a rule. Whatever is fluid, soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. What is soft is strong.

[Nick Viall]

That's all you were trying to say?

[Carl Radke]

That's all I was trying to say.

[Natalie]

Case closed.

[Carl Radke]

Case closed. She has those qualities. Absolutely. But job searching and I don't know anybody who's ever tried to find a new job and their wife doesn't necessarily love what they're trying to do or their partner. It was hard.

[Nick Viall]

Well, you said it was misogynistic. I don't think this gets mentioned a lot, and I'll probably even get shit for saying this, but obviously, and I'm very grateful for the Audience that we have here, it's mostly women. I love talking about the same stuff that they love listening and talking about as well. You're on a show that's primarily consumed by women. And a lot about your show is these interpersonal relationships between men and women and not, you know, listen. As straight white men. We have very little to complain about, of course. Very privileged, very complain. But, boy, it's really hard to thread the needle in a relationship fight. And men trying to express feelings, period. Let alone frustration or anger or just communicate a need from their partner. I mean, behind closed doors, when Nellie and I are disconnected.

[Carl Radke]

Oh, you guys don't have. You guys are perfect communicators, right?

[Natalie]

Perfect.

[Nick Viall]

You know, but, like, you know, I don't know. I mean, I'm sure I've said something that, like, if the audience was hearing, like, well, that's my time, you know, it's like a Fox, man. Like, what am I supposed to say, man? I just trying to tell you how I feel. And everything that you guys do is on camera for us to break down and dissect and be like, what did he fucking say? Do you ever struggle?

[Carl Radke]

Yes, I do a little bit, But I've. Again, this is the growth in me. I hope a little bit is. I've tried to take a lot of that, and I've been fortunate to be on this for now nine seasons, and use a lot of what we're going through, stuff in real time. It's being recorded, and then we are now reliving it later on with a lot more amplification and quality production and all of that. But as you relive it the second time, for me, I take it as an opportunity to go, okay, that's not how I want to operate or treat someone or communicate. Like, I've tried to take a lot of what not unlike how football players watch footage after they play a game to break down tape. I try to do that a little bit and use it as a learning lesson, because to your point, I don't think a lot of us have audience in our bedrooms. It's always your opinion and hers and then the truth, just like we're dealing with in the show. So now having these other audience members or other people weighing in, I hope it's helped me become a better version of myself to a degree. But you also just sometimes have to go, you know what? We've all had things we said we wish we didn't say or we could have said differently. And we all know why we're here. We're making hopefully an entertaining thing. We're supposed to be living and giving our life. And the moment they stop getting mad at what we're saying to each other interpersonally, probably the show's done. So I guess it's like you kind of sign up for some of it. But being a women dominated audience, which I absolutely love, we have the best network on TV because the audience that watches Bravo, they give a shit. They're so engaged. They really care. They. To this day, I don't have people come up to me in person ever say, you're an asshole. Never had that. But on social media you do. In person, I get hugged. People coming up to me and they're very kind and generous and even the people that I'm sure have an opinion always be like, well, you know, you made a mistake. You're learning.

[Nick Viall]

Because that's why we love, that's why we love the show, right? Because like, you're only a real asshole if you watch the show in pure judgment and be like, you know, it's just like what you and the housewives like, I couldn't do. We. I could not do what you guys do. I mean, yeah, I was on the Bachelor for a period.

[Carl Radke]

I don't know if I can do the Bachelor. It's kind of what's different.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah, but like, yeah, but yeah, that was. I got for going back a few times. You guys keep showing up every season and like, you know, yeah, Bachelor has its challenges with boundaries and. But like Bravo is, it's like, tell us your shit. Like, you're not allowed to have secrets. With Robinhood Gold, you can now enjoy the VIP treatments. Receiving 3% IRA match on retirement contributions. The privileges of the very privileged are no longer exclusive. With Robinhood gold, your annual IRA contributions are boosted by 3% plus you get 4% APY on your cash and non retirement accounts. That's over eight times the national savings average. The perks of the high net worth are now available for any net worth. The new gold standard is here with Robinhood Gold. To receive your 3% boost on annual IRA contributions, sign [e-mail] Gold investing involves risk rate subject to change. 3% match requires Robin Hood Gold at $5 per month for one year from first match. Must keep funds in IRA for five years. Go to Robinhood.com boost over eight times the national average. Savings account Interest rate claim is based on data from the FDIC as of November 18, 2024. Robinhood Financial LLC Member SIPC Gold membership is offered by Robinhood Gold LLC hey, whether you are growing out your hair or trying to repair, getting to the root of the problem is so important and that's a healthy scalp and that's for ways scal will get your hair looking stronger, fully and healthier. I don't know if you've noticed, been growing my hair out a bit. It's a bit longer than ever and thanks to Ouai it is less frizzy, it's stronger and I just feel like my my scalp's more moisturized. Really been relying on Ouai to help me do that. Their Detox shampoo cleanses product buildup, hard water deposits, dirt, oil and other impurities. It's safe for all hair types, including color, treated or cared treated hair in Brazilian blowouts. Also just great for like, you know, frizzy, wiry hair like myself. Scalp serum balances and hydrates the scalp, soothes irritation and keeps your hair stronger. Follow through a healthier, hydrated and balanced scalp. I never understood how important it was.

[Natalie]

To have a clean, thoroughly clean scalp.

[Nick Viall]

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[Nick Viall]

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[Carl Radke]

Think it looks perfect.

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[Carl Radke]

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[Nick Viall]

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[Carl Radke]

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[Natalie]

Maria from the Bachelorette. Tom.

[Carl Radke]

Tom, that's not true. I wasn't. I was there, but I didn't. I don't even know who Maria from the Bachelor is.

[Nick Viall]

She was there in the.

[Carl Radke]

Wait.

[Nick Viall]

Different time or something.

[Natalie]

I mean, it was reported that the two of you were spotted.

[Carl Radke]

Hand to God, I've never met her. I don't even know what she looks like. You could hold up four pictures of people right now, and I don't. I wouldn't know. Okay, Sorry, Marianne.

[Nick Viall]

Okay.

[Natalie]

So debunked. Not spotted with Maria.

[Carl Radke]

At. Not spotted with Maria.

[Natalie]

Okay, but you were spotted with Jesse from the Valley. Prior.

[Carl Radke]

I got together with Jesse from the valley. What I said to Jesse because he and his wife are going through a divorce, and I didn't know all of some of the nuance to it, but he was asking me, like, dude, I went into this that season last year, like, you know, her and I were about to go on a big trip, and then everything went haywire. And I'm like, well, every season I feel like with what we do is the thing you don't want to talk about is the exact thing they want to talk about. And the thing that you go into that season wanting to promote, wanting to push, wanting to be. They're like, screw that. And he was telling about this real estate deal he had done, and he was all hyped up about it, and he's like, yeah, I got cut. I'm like, that's what you wanted on what do they want? They want you and Melissa going through a fucking divorce, which is the thing you do not want to deal with.

[Natalie]

Do you think reality TV breaks relationships?

[Carl Radke]

Kyle Cook says this best. I think it forces you to have really tough conversations with that person. And if anything, the ones that stick together, I think are even that much stronger through it. Look at Heidi and Spencer. Kyle and Amanda still fighting strong. And then Ken and Lisa Vanderpump. There's couples who've laid it all out and have been through multiple years of putting it all out there. It's really hard. I've seen count Amanda and I've tried to really support them, but personally, between them, it's not easy, but I think it's hard.

[Nick Viall]

I think Nelly said fuck Kyle Cook a couple times on this program.

[Natalie]

I think it was like, fuck stupid Kyle. Fucking stupid fuck.

[Nick Viall]

Obviously, he's your boy.

[Carl Radke]

He is my best friend.

[Natalie]

It was for reason that it was an edited TV show.

[Nick Viall]

I've never met him.

[Natalie]

It was not personal. It was what I watched on tv.

[Carl Radke]

I wasn't Proud of Kyle and how you should never call a woman a bitch. You should never really flip out of your wife to that degree. Now, there's been a lot between them, and I love them both. But how you deliver frustration or communication with your wife really does matter. And especially when you're on a show and you're screaming or yelling or swearing, that's not good. And I was not happy with him, and trust me, he's not happy with himself. But I will say Kyle is a really good person. He knows when he does wrong, he really, genuinely feels sorry for it. I think he really does care. I don't think he's like, a. At his core, he's not like, a total ass. I am, actually.

[Natalie]

No, we do preface. We recap a ton of shows. We preface them all by saying we don't know any of these people, and we do reserve the right to be wrong about these people because we're talking about 45 minutes with commercials with all these other people that's edited by people who don't have necessarily your best interest in heart. Some of them are seen, some of them are bits. Some of them are, you know, so it's like we acknowledge that and that. I'm sure if I met Kyle, I would have a completely different.

[Carl Radke]

Oh, yeah, you'd. You'd love him.

[Nick Viall]

I don't know if you're allowed to answer this, but, like, I couldn't help but wonder.

[Carl Radke]

I'll try.

[Nick Viall]

Well, it's not like a spoiler, but I'm honestly, like, sometimes there was a moment, like last season where, like, Kyle and Amanda, I'm like, are they trolling us? Because, like, their online behavior with the whole Jesse Solomon stuff, that was. And even if they were trolling us, I'm this, like, is a guy who's this, like, happily married. And maybe I'm just in my honeymoon phase. And maybe they're seasoned vets as a married couple, but, like, I would just not lean in to any narratives that had to do with any of us possibly having the hots or wanting to be by someone else. And I was just a bit blown away by what either was them being serious or them, like, trolling.

[Carl Radke]

I think they're. I think that's the playfulness of their relationship. You know, they. At times, you'll be with them and they give. They. They give each other a hard time or there's a lot of inside jokes. But I always. I don't pay it too much mind. Now, Jesse Salma was commenting on some of Amanda's pictures and stuff. And again, I think it was all out of fun and kind of being silly.

[Nick Viall]

I love to have fun and I don't feel like I'm. There was like this of a guy, but like, holy shit. Jesse Solomon.

[Carl Radke]

No, there was something funny. Me and Jesse were playing in a golf outing in the Hamptons in May, and it was a lover boy thing that had sponsored. It was a charity event and we donated Lover boy. And it was me and Jesse playing. And he took a selfie with like the tall lover boy can. And he was like, oh, what? Should I caption it? Should I caption it? Like, I love Amanda's cans. I was like, that's funny. Like, not, like, thinking of it. Then he posted it.

[Natalie]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Carl Radke]

And it was like, yeah, that's kind of an aggressive caption. I love Jesse, but I think he's. He's learning too, a little bit.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah, him and Wes definitely had a. A crash course.

[Carl Radke]

I love the boys. I mean, they're great additions. It's good to have some more men or more guys in the mix. I think Kyle, we've had other guys like Andre or Luke who've been well liked and beloved, but for the most part, I feel like been Kyle or I kind of taking turns in the hot seat. But now having Jesse and West here, not only do they bring a lot of fun and younger energy, but they also bring drama and other things to talk about.

[Nick Viall]

I want to ask you more about them. I want to bring it back to Lindsay for a second. Not just specifically Lindsay, but another thing I think just men struggle with, especially men in their 30s and especially if they approach 40. I remember, like, when I, you know, got off the Bachelor and I. I was. I, you know, I had a life and I had a real job and I had a condo in Chicago and I was all set and I decided to blow it all up and come to la. And then there was like two years of like, just me living on an air mattress at my. In a room in my buddy's house. And yeah, I was dating and I was out there, but it's just like, I think a lot of men and they're like middle ages or adult life or 30s or whatever. Like, if they don't, like, feel settled in their career and they really know what they want to do, it is very difficult for them to like, really be present in other aspects in their life, specifically dating. And I dated a lot, but I was never like. And I was like, yeah, I really want to meet someone. And yeah, I really want to settle down. But the truth was I was like, until I'm like, not sleeping on this air mattress, I'm not getting in a relationship with anyone type of thing until I know what I'm fucking doing. And I don't think there's usually a lot of acknowledgement around that because I think, you know, we watch these shows, like, I remember being more like Team Lindsay when she was being hard on you. And like, you know, I was sitting in a position of like, I've, you know, I'm at a point in my life where I've figured it out and I was probably judging you and criticizing you a little too much. But, like, you know, because there was this, you know, part of your and Lindsay's relationship was like, Lindsay like being the supportive fiance, which was kind of like, figure it the fuck out, Carl. And then there were times where it felt like you were being portrayed as like, this person who just like, just wanted support from his girlfriend but wasn't willing to do anything. And every once in a while you would bring up like, hey, I want to start a T shirt company. I don't know if that was one of them.

[Carl Radke]

No, that's good though.

[Nick Viall]

But like, I guess what is the truth, you know, does that resonate with you at all? And again, what was the truth in terms of your dynamic and versus, like how you've been portrayed? Is this kind of like this more like dreamer, you know, kind of guy in business where like Lindsay's like, I just need a man who has a real job and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, like, and kind of that dynamic?

[Carl Radke]

Yeah, I mean, I think most men's ego is directly attached to like their occupation or their employment or their career. And I was at a interesting kind of not crossroads, but I had been working with Kyle and Amanda on the Loverboy company for about four years. But Lindsey was also kind of saying and helping me understand, like, this isn't probably your end. All be all right, Carl, Isn't there something more you want to do? And yes, there are more things I wanted to do, but I did struggle to. This isn't her fault at all. Like, I was trying to really figure out, like, what makes sense for me. Like, should I go start another non alcoholic drink product? No, that doesn't make sense. Should I go do like. It took some time to figure that out. But I, I mean this, like, I, for the first time in my life, I had the ability and opportunity to not do anything and figure out what I wanted to do. Up until Season three or four of the show, I worked full time jobs and had to like, generate other income. In early seasons of the show. We weren't getting influencer stuff. It wasn't like that then. So, like, I had to find jobs to just pay my bills and to get in, like, you know, just do what I needed to do. But then finally here I am in a relationship and she was supportive, but I thought, okay, I can take some time and figure this out. And I thought I had that latitude. But I also think Lindsey absolutely needs a more established guy who is well further along in kind of his level. I mean, I basically got sober in 2021 and I got engaged in 2022. Yeah, you know, it was like a quick turn of events. I, like I said I'm not. I need to take responsibility and accountability. Like, I'm the one who asked her to marry me, and I'm the one who pursued that and pushed for that. She, you know, met me in the middle, but I should have been a lot more like, okay, where am I with my career? Do I need some more time to really get back to baseline with myself? I didn't do that because honestly, I look around, a lot of my friends are married. A lot of my friends have kids since my brother had passed, like, I. I've looked at my niece and I see her and I see my brother in her, and I want to have children, I want to have a family. And I think some of that might have been clouded by that. I also think when you first get sober, you're so dead set on trying to prove everybody that you got it all figured out and you're good and you're back to normal and probably rushed into a relationship that validated those things, you know, And I wish I had maybe more just paused because, yeah, like, I, I felt like I had it all ready to go and figured out, oh, yeah, I got a job. I got this. No, I didn't. And guess what? I'm still. I finally, I launched a new company this past year, but we're still like getting it up and running and I haven't generated income from it yet. So if Lindsey and I had still gotten married, I mean, my career stuff would still be kind of in this interesting position, which probably would have lended itself to a lot more challenges too.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah, I mean, like, listen, the more you talk about you and Lindsey, the more it's just like, you guys had a good thing. You will be you. You played a big part in each other's lives for a period. Of time. But, like, I mean, honestly, like, not that Lindsay, like, owes you. I'm sure you both have things to apologize for each other, but, like, for all of the drama that was you ending that engagement, I gotta assume Lindsay, like, is grateful.

[Natalie]

I mean, she said that at reunion.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah, I think. And I've. I could feel that from her. I mean, there were some moments we had that you'll see on the new season. We had some conflict. It'll probably be good tv, but it was almost like we needed to have that. And I, you know, I still get a lot of therapy. My therapist, before the summer started, I was telling her, you know, I'm nervous about filming. I'm nervous about being there with. She's pregnant. I was happy. I legitimately was happy for her, but I was like, it's a lot to take in. Kind of weird a little bit. And she still has the car that we bought together, but she now has ownership of it. And I pull up to the house and the car I used to take to the dealership to get the tires changed and oil changed, there it is. It was mentally interesting. But my therapist challenged me. She said, carl, this is a chance for you to get real closure and real healing because you're going to see her and you're actually going to have to face her. But if you didn't see her or didn't face her, you probably would have built up more anxiety and resentment in your head. But it allowed me, and I didn't know at the time, but I want her happy. I really care about Lindsay. I really do. I know Lindsay and I've known her, and I see the little girl inside that I want to flourish and be happy. And I saw that little girl a little bit this summer where she was smiling and really happy. It wasn't that negative toxicity that you guys saw the previous year.

[Natalie]

Honestly, for me, you and Lindsay feels like such a lifetime ago. I feel like that season was forever ago. And now, obviously, knowing that she has carried a baby, given birth to a baby, has a newborn, I know what. Just the, like, longevity of what that feels like. How did you find out she was pregnant? Did you find out, like, on social.

[Carl Radke]

Media or through the social media world? I mean, there was rumors popping all over the place, but I had heard all, you know, through the.

[Natalie]

Whatever it is, what was your. I mean, I'm sure you're gonna get a.

[Nick Viall]

But you knew she had a boyfriend first, right?

[Carl Radke]

I knew she was seeing someone or had. You know, I think shortly after we broke up. I mean, she was, from what I understand, was dating the country music singer that was gonna sing at our wedding or had been pursuing him.

[Natalie]

Who was that?

[Carl Radke]

Dustin Lynch.

[Nick Viall]

Okay. Was it Dustin? Yes, we had Dustin on.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. I mean that again. We spoke to his team. He was booked originally to sing at the wedding. And then I guess after the breakup, she did pursue that, whatever. But, yeah, I was picking up on different things of her life, whether it was through the media or through Kyle.

[Natalie]

Or when it was confirmed she was pregnant, having a baby girl, I mean, what was your first reaction? I know it'll be, I'm happy for her.

[Carl Radke]

And then genuinely, genuinely, it was like, wow. Like, that's. It was, like, not a shock, but it was a shock. Another thing in my head, I honestly thought, like, it was something she's always wanted. And I was right. Not right there with her, but she had a miscarriage and we all were trying to rally around her, and I felt terrible about what had happened. And I tried to be a supportive friend during all that. And I knew how much she really had dreamed of wanting to be a mother. So I was absolutely, so happy. I think what really hit me was like, damn, that was fast. Let's be honest. I was like, I hadn't even had sex with anybody since her, and I'm like, she's already pregnant. So that. In my head, what I was thinking. But called a good friend of mine and he said to me, he's like, dude, you couldn't have asked for better closure. You literally can't ask for better closure.

[Nick Viall]

Oh, yeah. Short of your ego popping in like your ex, moving on is the best possible.

[Carl Radke]

He's like, take it and just embrace it. Be happy for her. And now you can move on. You don't have to worry because it's not your issue anymore.

[Natalie]

Have you met the baby? Have you seen the baby?

[Carl Radke]

I have, just through social media. Social media.

[Nick Viall]

Have you met her partner?

[Carl Radke]

So I went to a wedding in Portugal in April for Mutual Friends of Ours. Kyle and Amanda were also there. So he was there. I didn't interact with him. The show was airing at the same time. So imagine like, you're at a wedding in person, and then at 9pm at night, the show's airing and we're still together.

[Natalie]

Yeah, that is very.

[Carl Radke]

So there's always those kinds of dynamics that are very.

[Nick Viall]

You're asking for a softer Lindsay and she's calling you cocaine Carl.

[Carl Radke]

And I'm at the wedding right in front of her and she's with another guy and all that. But I'VE never met him personally, but Kyle has said to me a few times, he's a really nice guy and treats her well and that's all that matters. But, yeah, I don't have any other experience. She was also at a second wedding in June. Andrea from Summer House, who's a dear friend, got married in Italy and Lindsay was there, but he was not there. She was just there by herself. But we didn't interact. It was very. We rode a shuttle bus together, which I know Danielle was like, so you.

[Nick Viall]

Guys are civil, but, like, civil, your exes?

[Carl Radke]

Yeah, it's like two co workers who, you know, don't like each other, but they're here for the better, the greater good of the business.

[Nick Viall]

I respect that. And I really. It always pisses me off when people are just like, why can't we be friends? It's like, respect what you had. If you had respect for what you had, it shouldn't be easy to be friends or pretend that you didn't have an engagement or like, you guys were the biggest part of each other's lives and, like, it didn't work out and you could be cordial and have respect and wish the other person well and be happy for them, but you're not fucking friends. And stop pretending that you guys can be fucking cool together because that's disrespectful to what you had. It's.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah, Well, I think the first moment I walked in, and again, I don't want to give away too much of the new season, but from the jump, I mean, you know, I arrive at the house and I, you know, she's celebrating her pregnancy, which is great again. But I really. It took me a moment to really figure out how to deliver what I wanted to say because there's just a lot to take in. But I did, you know, I told her, I'm happy for you. And. Very classic Lindsay. She made a comment to be almost like, drawing back something she said on camera from a previous scene from a previous season, which was us the previous summer. I'm playing basketball in the West Village and she comes to the park to meet me. And she's basically her and I talking about the wedding and she's like, oh, maybe I'll be pregnant by next summer. So now fast forward and you'll see it on and I'm giving away too much. Bravo is going to kill me right now.

[Nick Viall]

But basically, I hope that's not too much because I hope you guys have a lot of great stuff.

[Carl Radke]

There's a lot of great Stuff, but.

[Nick Viall]

Just like, the whole, that's too much. Bravo's got a bigger problem.

[Carl Radke]

I try to play by the rules, but I basically was like, congrats, I'm happy for you. And then she was like, yeah, I told you I'd be pregnant. I literally look at him like, yeah, you did, too. All right, good stuff.

[Natalie]

Paige and Craig.

[Carl Radke]

Team Paige. I love Paige, always will be.

[Nick Viall]

Do you have to be teams?

[Carl Radke]

No, I'm just. I don't.

[Nick Viall]

I'm fucking with you.

[Carl Radke]

I'm a Paige guy. I actually kind of. It's been interesting to kind of see everything unfold in the media as it did. I mean, I give her props for the way she handled doing it on Giggly Squad, and there's no easy way to do any of that. And in the public. I texted her the day I learned, and I said, like, I give you a lot of credit for just stepping up and doing that. And I said, if there's paparazzi outside your door, then fuck them.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah, we. We definitely live in a time where, you know, maybe it's social media, the all scandals, but, like, when people break up, everyone, like, it's. Who's the villain? Who's the hero? Who are we gonna burn? Like, sometimes you just, like, you have the right to fall out of love. You have a right to be, like, you're good, we're good. But I think there's something better for me and you, honestly. But that's for you to decide. Whatever I feel for Craig, but, like, you know, if Paige doesn't want to be with him, she doesn't want to be with him, and that's fine. And it's her right. He also has the right to be sad, you know, and he has the right to speak his truth, too. But totally.

[Carl Radke]

I was going to say, though, I think it's such a difficult thing to break up, like, I don't know, like, in that manner. Like, she's on a podcast, she's telling. And I get. He wants to share his side.

[Nick Viall]

We're here for you, Craig.

[Carl Radke]

But all I know is this, I think. I mean, I give them a lot of credit for going for it. I did worry that the distance and where they were career wise, was maybe not in line. Craig was ready to settle down, but Paige is young.

[Nick Viall]

How old, Craig? How old's Paige?

[Carl Radke]

Craig's like 35, I think. Paige is 32 or 36. Paige is three or four years younger than Craig. But I was gonna say that the team thing, people are asking me, am I team Craig? Or Paige. And what I say is, there's no team here. You know, I feel equally sorry for both of them. But I will say I'm closer to Paige and have been friends with Paige more than I've been with Craig. I've had my personal opinions about him just as I've always had.

[Nick Viall]

But again, are there any criticisms?

[Carl Radke]

No, I think. Well, what's interesting is how, you know, this past summer we filmed with Craig in the Hamptons and I saw him loading the fridge with non alcoholic beer and I was like, pumped. I was like, oh, dude, na beers. He's like, yeah, I'm not drinking. I was like, hell yeah, man. Let's have some fun. But almost what I uncovered, it was like, you know, his behavior at a period of time was not great at all. That Paige was like, I can't be with you if you're gonna be like this, you know. And I know she dealt with a lot of his ups and downs and challenges through that. And I feel like that got kind of lost in the shuffle. Like, it was. Paige was hard on Craig and mean to him. And it's like, no. Paige was actually very gracious and I think helped Craig become a better version of himself and almost the version you're seeing on this season of Southern Charm, which is like the business Craig. And he's serious and focused and that's cool to see. I worry it's a little too, as a viewer, manufactured holy.

[Nick Viall]

As a fan. And I don't. I guess I know Paige a little bit better. She was on reality Recap once and talked some pop culture reality with us and she was lovely. I met Craig for five seconds at an event. He seemed really nice. As a viewer, it absolutely seems like Paige in a lot of ways has rubbed off on Craig because as a viewer of like Southern Charm, you know, I started watching it halfway through and it's just like the three boys of. Of the south, like, just ripping beers, golfing, and just like doing whatever the and just getting away with whatever because they're 6:3 and good looking and they just kind of know everyone and they're like the biggest fish in a small pond. And then like again this season, like the only storyline we have so far is like Austin, like hanging on to this lifestyle where Craig has decided to grow up. And then you had Paige call Craig and been like, honestly, really sound business advice. It was like that, you know, I was like, for Paige, that was really good advice. And it's to Craig's credit, I think he, you know, he's I'm sure he's seen Paige's, you know, explosion. Her success, her dedication to career. It's all paying off. I'm sure I give Craig a lot of credit where he never acted like, you know, emasculated him or bothered by it, but instead almost tried to be like, all right, well, teach a man a fish. Like, how do I. How do I do that? But, yeah, it's in. You know, I think we're just sad because we loved him as a couple, and. And now it's like, he. She broke up with him, so now she's immediately. How is she the bad guy? And then, like, I don't know.

[Natalie]

You and Paige had a little moment. Season three, right?

[Carl Radke]

We did.

[Nick Viall]

Oh, we start. Should we start rumors?

[Carl Radke]

We had a. I walked in that season was single, and I knew we were having someone new in the house. And obviously, she is my physical type. That's a girl I dated.

[Nick Viall]

If you're really single and they're like, there's a new girl coming to your house, immediately you're like, all right.

[Carl Radke]

But she was one that. She was very attractive. It had a cool personality and just something about her. But that summer, I mean, I was total fuckboy mode. Was saying one thing and doing the other. But I will say, like, what's funny? And Paige and I can joke about this, but the whole narrative of that season was that I didn't text her during the week. I took her to Cyndi Lauper at Madison Square Garden on a Tuesday night. During the week, she was there with me, and Lindsay and Everett were together at that time. The four of us during the week were at a concert. Paige knows this now. Yes. I didn't always communicate during the week, but I did take her out during the week. It was clear early on that we were probably just better being friends. I also. I just thought she was really hot and was enjoying this, like, the fun, flirty thing. We'd go into the pantry. We would honestly eat snacks and make out. And, like, the pantry became a bigger thing than we even realized. But, yeah, I mean, I love. I don't think Paige would ever go for me or vice versa anymore. But I'm just a huge supporter. And I love. She's been really kind and generous to me over the last year and a half. Even in the breakup, she's been supportive of Lindsay. She's been supportive of me, but just, like, the friendship I feel like I have with her feels really solid. Like, I can. I trust her, and, like, she gives me good advice. She's had an amazing explosion with her career, which has been amazing to see. I remember when she first came on the show, she had like 3,000 followers.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Carl Radke]

And you know, and was a younger girl. And she's fully blossomed. So I'm happy for her. And I'm actually looking forward to seeing what she does now with a little less just it's on her own. She's Paige.

[Nick Viall]

Well, what about your love life? Are you still very much in the. Let's focus on me. Let's focus on my career, sobriety, all those things.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah.

[Nick Viall]

I think that off the table are we dabbling into love?

[Carl Radke]

So this summer I started to put myself out there.

[Nick Viall]

Okay.

[Carl Radke]

It took me a little while to unwind just the feelings of all of the past relationship. I didn't, you know, it's mentioned on the trailer, but I didn't hook up with anyone really until the summer. The last person I did hook up was Lindsay. Just wasn't mentally there. And I needed some time to kind of get myself confident back. So I had some fun over the summer. I dated a little bit.

[Natalie]

You're back.

[Carl Radke]

But I realized I am. I'm back looking. But I met someone in at the end of the summer. We dated this fall a little bit. We've been seeing each other recently. But I'm. I think to answer you put it in my. The words in my mouth. But I think I still need to get right back to like, I've got a lot going on. And I'll tell you what. These next three months when the show's airing, dating is not easy. While you're watching yourself in the past summer, flirting with other girls. And I'm very single. I'm not doing anything that crazy.

[Natalie]

But whereas some of that flirting with new girl Lexi.

[Carl Radke]

So no, the moment I walked in the house, she had already been flirting with.

[Nick Viall]

Which you'll have to see Team west or team Sierra. I don't know if you know where I stand, but I'm in the minority.

[Carl Radke]

I. I'm gonna go Team Sierra even though I like West. But Sierra and I do have a friendship. And I think as I learned about some of the nuance with that, I was disappointed in how Wes handled that. And you'll see, even in the new season, there was other shit that happened after. Can you.

[Nick Viall]

Oh, so you can tell me again.

[Carl Radke]

Back to the media stuff. Interviews, podcasts that bubbled up again. Because.

[Nick Viall]

I'm not saying Wes.

[Natalie]

We did have west on.

[Nick Viall]

I don't think Wes pitched a perfect game. And I'm Not. I think he could have been more techn. Impactful and apologize.

[Carl Radke]

It's hard, man. I think as a. As a younger guy, when you get in those positions, sometimes it takes. It took me a while to realize, like, like, you fuck up, you actually have to say you're wrong in this. Everybody watched it. It's really hard. I think over time he'll get to a place where you'll get more of a reflective West. I think he was completely caught off guard because he walked in that reunion and I was like, dude, you know what we're about to do today, right? He just was not.

[Nick Viall]

I don't get any idea.

[Carl Radke]

He was not on his A game, but he recovered. He had a good summer, I think.

[Nick Viall]

I think he's living his best life.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. He seems to be doing okay. He's flourishing.

[Nick Viall]

What else haven't you covered?

[Carl Radke]

This has been great.

[Nick Viall]

It's been really. Man, I really appreciate you taking the time and opening up with us. Thank you. What can we expect without giving anything away?

[Carl Radke]

Yes.

[Nick Viall]

I want to say this is a bit of a challenge that mature shows have with ensemble casts that have come up together, been through the trenches, and you guys have been through life changing experiences like life and death. And it gets to the point where, like, you just don't have it in you anymore to really, like, shake it up. And I will for all the, like, fuck Kyle Cook, blah, blah, blah, like, you know, say what you want about, like, whether he should be calling anyone a bitch or not, but, like, Kyle Cook still showing up for work and making tv and, you know, I think Southern charm has experienced a little bit of this fatigue right now where it's just like, if I need to get most of my entertainment from the friends of. And all, like, the sidekicks that are bringing in because, like, the main characters are just like, decided not to, like, you know, be traumatic.

[Carl Radke]

Sure.

[Nick Viall]

You know, it's time to maybe like.

[Carl Radke]

Retire, move things on.

[Nick Viall]

And I'm just like, I would love to know because we love Summer House.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah. You don't want it. You don't want it to be like the. I'm trying to think of an athlete's example, you know, like Brett Favre playing for the New York Jets. Yeah. It's just like, dude, you were a Packer. You had a great career. That was awesome. Let's keep you in the Packer bubble.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah. So, yeah. What can we come to expect? I mean, Jesse and West were two excellent additions.

[Carl Radke]

Great additions.

[Nick Viall]

What can you say about any of your new cast members and. And what can you tease in terms of our excitement going into this season?

[Carl Radke]

It is a totally different season than last, but I believe a better season of Summer House than last season. Because to your point, you have this from the reunion. It continues the next day after the reunion. There's shit that happened. Wes did an interview and that caused more stuff. So this new season picks up literally from the end of the reunion from my understanding and there's a lot that happened from that little.

[Nick Viall]

Am I going to have all this here at fans coming for me and being like, and this is why you were fucking wrong.

[Carl Radke]

But this season you have new romance with people that you want to root for. And I think I was rooting for it but also going, I want to see how this is going to play out. You have the young love that didn't work out at west and Sierra still navigating. Are they friends? Are they not? Is Wes going to date? Is Sierra going to date? How are they going to handle that? And then of course you have Kyle and Amanda and just their dynamic. But there's a new guy who I, I like him as a friend and he brought, he just, he was himself and he single. He's a good looking dude. He flirted a lot, he met a lot of girls and that created a lot of new things that I think we needed in our show which is back in the day of Summerhouse, people used to like guys used to bring girls back and like the last few years it's gotten like very coupley or PG, let's say. And I'm actually, I was like, honestly like there was a threesome.

[Nick Viall]

Okay.

[Carl Radke]

Kyle already said this but it wasn't me and it wasn't Kyle involved but oh, Jesse and West, I can't say but there was a threesome for the first time in Summerhouse history.

[Nick Viall]

Two dudes or two girls you'll have.

[Carl Radke]

To watch two dudes. It's two dudes you'll have to watch.

[Nick Viall]

It's two dudes.

[Natalie]

Wait, and all of them are in the house or it was like a pickup from a bar.

[Carl Radke]

It was pick up from the house.

[Natalie]

Pick up from the house party.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah, there was some, we had some amazing house parties. But yeah, I mean even for me too. Like I'll just self shout out, you know, I'm launching a new business. Soft bar is my cafe and bar that I'm opening in Brooklyn. But you'll see the beginnings of that which it's exciting for me, just another layer of my professional career because I know in the last few years I've kind of been known as this jobless loser or this guy who can't figure it out. And we were talking earlier, like, your ego is attached to kind of your occupation or how you're doing your career. So it's exciting for me because I feel like I'm really doing what I'm passionate about. Feels like it's exactly where I'm supposed to be. And it looks. I'm really proud of what we did. We threw a big friends and family event that you'll see softbar on camera and you'll meet my team. I have a co founder who's 10 years older than me, successful entrepreneur. I have women employees. I have a whole crew. It's like a real. So there's more, I think, meat on the bone than people are. It's not all about lover boy. It's like another thing.

[Nick Viall]

That's awesome. Well, as someone who settled down later in life and had different ups and downs and someone who always, you know, wanted to settle down and have kids but didn't for a while, one, I'll say figure out your man, because, like, until you do, like, once you get it, you know, like, just feel com. Feel good about what you're. Whatever it is, whatever you feel good about doing where. Whether you are teaching first grade or you're working on Wall Street. But, like, like, if you feel good about what you're doing, you feel prideful of it. Like, I think it makes all the difference, especially in, like, men's lives, in terms of being just better friends and better partners. If you've ever desired to be a dad, as someone who's, like, lucky enough to have been one, like, nothing has given me more purpose in life and never, like, it really just. It motivates you. It really makes you, like. I think it makes you more badass in terms of, like, more like, how do I want to, like, you know, you don't want to mess with an ambitious father type of thing.

[Carl Radke]

You got dad strength now.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah, it's a real thing. So. Yeah, like, no, I think you're. It's great to hear you. Like, you're. You're. You're, like. It sounds like you're really on a path of trying, doing what you want and doing what makes you happy trying.

[Carl Radke]

I think all. All of it seems to be falling into place, and I'm lucky that I. I've been given a lot of. I've been given a lot of chances, and I've had a lot of support. I've been very lucky. So you know, if I just turned 40 and I've got another kind of shot to like recreate what I want to do with my life and I'm not a lot of people get a chance to do that now. Yeah, I'm not as far along as I'd hoped I'd be at this point but. But I don't think, you know, my guy friends that have two kids would trade for my spot and vice versa. But you know, there's goals I still have and I think just trying to set myself up to go get em, but I would like to meet someone. But I think I'm realizing more than ever that gotta just stay focused on these, on my career and what I'm building and like that thing.

[Nick Viall]

Will, I think your friends who wanna trade spots with you, when did they start having kids?

[Carl Radke]

I'm curious, like in their mid-20s.

[Nick Viall]

Okay. Yeah. And I will say one benefit to like, if you're lucky enough to meet someone and have kids, you, you won't. You're going to be very happy with wherever you are. Like, you clearly have had fun, lived a fun life, been very selfish at times. Like done, done your thing and like, I don't know, I've never been a huge partier but like, I've had plenty of fun. Like the la. I am not reminiscing about, like, oh, I wish I was out.

[Carl Radke]

Yeah, I don't have any Friday night.

[Nick Viall]

And where are my friends at? Like, ah, nah, don't miss it like that. That is one benefit of like waiting till you're ready and whether, whether you're, you waited because you're ready or you waited because it wasn't the right time for you or whoever your person is. Yeah, that's been a nice benefit.

[Carl Radke]

No, it's, I, I'm, I thought I'd be married at this point. It's okay that I'm not, but you know, I think just feel really lucky that I get a chance to like kind of restart and do the things I really wanted to do.

[Nick Viall]

How'd you feel about turning 40?

[Carl Radke]

I was nervous at first and then someone asked me, which I, I think I made my Instagram caption, which is, how old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? And I was like, I like that. And I'd say I'm like 25 years old. I don't look 40, I don't think.

[Natalie]

No, you don't.

[Carl Radke]

So I'm happy with that. But I was born in 1985. I didn't have a Cell phone until I was a senior in high school.

[Nick Viall]

Don't even talk to me.

[Natalie]

Yeah, you're a baby compared to Nick.

[Carl Radke]

Am I?

[Nick Viall]

I was born in 80.

[Carl Radke]

You look good, man. Look really good.

[Nick Viall]

I've been off sugar, man.

[Natalie]

Water blends.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah. And I moisturize. Carl, thank you so much, man. Anything else you want to promote? Put out there, plug websites.

[Natalie]

When does it open in Brooklyn?

[Carl Radke]

So soft bar will be open in June.

[Nick Viall]

Okay.

[Carl Radke]

You'll see. Get a little bit of it. On the new season. Our locations in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. We've got a really cool industrial space, but it's a bar and a cafe. Come as you are. It's not a sober bar. We just don't serve alcohol. So byob, you can. Well, we're hopefully only now we're not allowing any alcohol, but we serve amazing.

[Nick Viall]

Drinks that you can show up hammered.

[Carl Radke]

You could show up hammer. We'll serve you something that tastes great. Okay, but no, but no alcohol. But yeah, I just also. I'll leave you with this. I just hit four years. No alcohol, no cocaine, no prescription drugs. The only thing I've used is thc, which I've been very open about. But that for me has really helped my anxiety and depression.

[Nick Viall]

Say it.

[Natalie]

Congratulations.

[Carl Radke]

Thank you.

[Nick Viall]

Thank you very, very much for taking the time.

[Carl Radke]

No, thank you guys for having me. And congrats on all your successes.

[Nick Viall]

Thank you.

[Carl Radke]

Your beautiful family. You guys have.

[Nick Viall]

Thank you for saying that.

[Carl Radke]

And your audience appreciate you guys keeping me in check. No, it's good stuff. I'm glad that I had some anxiety about coming here because of.

[Nick Viall]

Yeah. How did it feel? Is this better than you hoped for?

[Carl Radke]

It always is better than what you think it is. And stepping through the door is better than not.

[Nick Viall]

You know, sometimes. Yeah, I don't think we're hard on people.

[Carl Radke]

This is great.

[Nick Viall]

But I feel like we just asked, like, good questions.

[Carl Radke]

I mean, you asked me some really, really good questions that I'm going to be thinking about for the next two weeks.

[Nick Viall]

People are going to love you for this.

[Carl Radke]

How I could have answered it differently.

[Natalie]

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you. Wow. Happy birthday, dear Carl Happy birthday to you.

[Carl Radke]

Yay. Thank you.

[Natalie]

40.

[Carl Radke]

Thank you.

[Natalie]

And thriving.

[Carl Radke]

Thank you. Really appreciate it, guys. Thanks.

[Nick Viall]

So we did get you a K. Thank you.

[Natalie]

We did get him a pay.

[Nick Viall]

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