E903 Going Deeper with Barbie Ferreira

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Viall Files Episode E903 – Going Deeper with Barbie Ferreira

Introduction

In Episode E903 of The Viall Files, host Nick Viall welcomes actress Barbie Ferreira for an in-depth conversation about her latest film, personal experiences, and insights into relationships and personal growth. Joined by co-host Natalie Joy and the Household, this episode delves into Barbie's journey from modeling to acting, her roles in film, and her perspectives on therapy and relationships.

Discussing Barbie Ferreira's Latest Film

Barbie opens the discussion by sharing her experiences working on her new film, Lily Trevino. She describes the emotional depth of the project and her connection to her character.

Barbie Ferreira [05:09]: "It was my first movie, really cool, it was like a bonding experience with the crew and cast. Very healing."

Impact of the Film on Audiences

Nick emphasizes the film's emotional resonance, noting its ability to inspire kindness and connection among viewers.

Nick Viall [06:03]: "This movie reminds you to connect with people. It's such a beautiful and emotional film that really inspires kindness."

Barbie agrees, highlighting the film's unique approach to storytelling that balances hope and darkness.

Barbie Ferreira [06:12]: "It's so hopeful and yet so dark, but uplifting. People don't make stuff like that anymore."

Personal Connections to the Character

Barbie shares a heartfelt connection to her character, Lily, drawing parallels between her own life and Lily's experiences. She discusses her upbringing without a father and how portraying Lily helped her confront and heal from childhood trauma.

Barbie Ferreira [08:25]: "I have my own father issues. Playing Lily allowed me to address the subconscious emptiness from my childhood."

The Acting Process and Emotional Impact

The conversation shifts to the challenges Barbie faced while embodying Lily. She describes the emotional toll of intense scenes and how acting became a therapeutic process for her.

Barbie Ferreira [11:43]: "Every time I do a project, I learn so much about myself. Playing Lily was therapeutic, untangling a lot inside of me."

Relationships and Therapy

Barbie and Nick delve into the complexities of therapy, discussing the importance of finding the right therapist and how therapy can aid in personal growth without fostering self-centeredness.

Barbie Ferreira [16:35]: "It's important to find therapy that speaks your language. I've had some bad therapists, but finding the right one is crucial."

Nick adds his perspective on the balance between self-awareness and considering others' needs.

Nick Viall [23:00]: "We need to understand our trauma but also remember there's a whole world around us."

Modeling Career and Transition to Acting

Barbie reflects on her transition from a modeling career to acting, recounting her early days in New York and the challenges of independence at a young age.

Barbie Ferreira [40:26]: "I started modeling at 16. Moving out at 18 was tough; I had to be my own adult, which was really hard."

She shares how modeling did not fulfill her, prompting her to pursue acting, which she found more rewarding.

Barbie Ferreira [42:41]: "I was frustrated and not fulfilled by modeling anymore. Acting allowed me to invest in myself."

Views on Friendships and Family

Barbie emphasizes the importance of chosen family and deep friendships, especially as her biological family remains sparse due to geographical distances.

Barbie Ferreira [26:14]: "Chosen family is really important. My friends are like family to me, especially since my extended family is far away."

She discusses maintaining strong, supportive friendships that withstand the challenges of busy lives in Los Angeles.

Barbie Ferreira [28:07]: "Laughter, loyalty, and support keep friendships lasting. It's like having siblings."

Future Projects and Dreams

Looking ahead, Barbie expresses her desire to explore period pieces and collaborate with esteemed actors like Cate Blanchett. She also entertains the possibility of starring in biopics about historical figures.

Barbie Ferreira [81:14]: "I want to make a period piece, maybe set in the 1920s or 1940s. Working with someone like Cate Blanchett would be a dream."

Personal Growth and Relationship Insights

Barbie shares her evolution in understanding relationships, moving from seeking external validation to valuing self-awareness and intentionality in her connections.

Barbie Ferreira [66:48]: "I'm more intentional now. I know what I want and need in a relationship without taking things personally."

She underscores the significance of patience and self-trust in fostering healthy relationships.

Barbie Ferreira [75:16]: "Trust yourself. Decide if a relationship truly serves you and brings joy."

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Barbie Ferreira reflecting on her journey, the impact of her work, and her aspirations for the future. Nick and Barbie share heartfelt thanks, encouraging listeners to watch her film and connect with each other meaningfully.

Nick Viall [83:37]: "This film will make you want to connect with people, which is something we all need today."

Notable Quotes

• Barbie Ferreira [05:09]: "It was my first movie, really cool, it was like a bonding experience with the crew and cast. Very healing."

• Nick Viall [06:03]: "This movie reminds you to connect with people. It's such a beautiful and emotional film that really inspires kindness."

• Barbie Ferreira [08:25]: "I have my own father issues. Playing Lily allowed me to address the subconscious emptiness from my childhood."

• Barbie Ferreira [16:35]: "It's important to find therapy that speaks your language. I've had some bad therapists, but finding the right one is crucial."

• Barbie Ferreira [26:14]: "Chosen family is really important. My friends are like family to me, especially since my extended family is far away."

• Barbie Ferreira [81:14]: "I want to make a period piece, maybe set in the 1920s or 1940s. Working with someone like Cate Blanchett would be a dream."

• Barbie Ferreira [66:48]: "I'm more intentional now. I know what I want and need in a relationship without taking things personally."

• Barbie Ferreira [75:16]: "Trust yourself. Decide if a relationship truly serves you and brings joy."

Final Thoughts

This episode of The Viall Files offers a deep dive into Barbie Ferreira's personal and professional life, providing listeners with valuable insights into her experiences with therapy, relationships, and her aspirations in the acting industry. Barbie's candid discussions encourage self-reflection and the importance of genuine connections in today's fast-paced world.

Transcript

[Ben]

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[Barbie]

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[Barbie]

Months.

[Natalie]

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[Barbie]

You're crazy.

[Natalie]

Wait, you worked on Unpregnant with Shug our she's like a family friend Sugarland beard.

[Barbie]

She like watches our daughter amazing boys.

[Natalie]

No, she's she's Ms. Rachel like all of our friends. Like oh just like your daughter watch Ms. Rachel. I'm like we have the Ms. Rachel in person.

[Barbie]

Real life Ms. Rachel.

[Natalie]

Real life Ms. Rachel for 10 years.

[Barbie]

I love her character in it, too. She's like. It's chilling. Like a crazy lady. I mean, it's funny because she's so the opposite of it, but she's so. Oh, I'm pregnant. Was so cool. It was my first movie.

[Ben]

Really?

[Barbie]

Really. It was in New Mexico, baby. Albuquerque.

[Ben]

I in New Mexico once.

[Barbie]

Ben, you got your do not Disturb on your phone. Henny. What's crazy is that people, no matter how much you tell them to silence their phone because I did a play and every night, every single show, there would be a phone going off. Every single show.

[Ben]

Are you serious?

[Barbie]

Every single show. I also think that people, like, some people are just, like, not really in tune with their. I think it's a lot of, like, the older.

[Natalie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, no, it's been off for years.

[Ben]

Nowadays with me, I feel like my phone just decides to go and do not disturb.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And then you just assume it's always on do not disturb. And then.

[Barbie]

And then you don't. I love a do not disturb. Oh, obsessed dnd, baby.

[Natalie]

I'm always like, notify anyway. Notify anyway.

[Barbie]

I used to. And my friend did that the other day when I was, like, in rehearsal. I got so mad and I did it so many times. I was like, being such a hypocrite. I was like, why would you do that? She's like, that's all you do.

[Natalie]

Does it actually, like, notify? Like, does it like, ding, ding.

[Barbie]

It was like, ding, ding. I was like. I was like, sorry. Everyone thought I was like, did not know. And I was on do not Disturb. How about that? Yeah. A lot of people, literally every single show was at. And then some people had, like, really, like, crazy ringtones, which I didn't know was still in 2025. And it would just be like a song playing or like the Star wars theme.

[Ben]

I used to wake up to a sound tone of Tommy Boy with Chris Farley.

[Barbie]

Okay.

[Ben]

When David Spay was knocking on the door.

[Barbie]

Oh, my God. That's only for like a year.

[Natalie]

Like, alarm sound.

[Ben]

That was my alarm sound. And it was like just a really weird.

[Barbie]

Everything that you have as an alarm sound become a horrible, like this memory.

[Ben]

Where you're just like, ah. You know? But like, back in the day when it came out, you were like, oh, my God. Like, this is so cool.

[Barbie]

I know. I want to bring back ringtones. Actually, now that I think about it.

[Natalie]

I'm like, why not bring back tones?

[Barbie]

Bring back tones.

[Natalie]

Bring back tones.

[Ben]

I was a psychopath that had the Default setting on my screensaver until my wife told me.

[Barbie]

What is it now?

[Ben]

Now it's my family.

[Barbie]

Okay, cool. That's usually what it's for.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

Or your. It was like.

[Natalie]

It was like the raindrops for so long. I'm like, okay.

[Ben]

I thought it was cool. Yeah.

[Barbie]

You don't like to have, like, a little aesthetic on anything.

[Ben]

I. You know, I just didn't think about it.

[Barbie]

You didn't think about it? You know, that's what wives are for.

[Natalie]

Sometimes I forget, truly, it's what their wives are for.

[Barbie]

They're like, you know, spice up the. The aesthetic of everything.

[Ben]

Yeah. All men kind of are. A little psychopathy without a lady by their side.

[Barbie]

I agree.

[Ben]

Just a little.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Rough around the edges a little.

[Barbie]

They just need a little bit of help.

[Ben]

Yes. Like, why would you do that? You know?

[Barbie]

Why would you do that? Yeah, I feel that.

[Ben]

Barbie, how are you? Welcome to the show.

[Barbie]

Good. Thank you for having me.

[Ben]

We're so excited to be with you. Absolutely. Love the movie. Bob Trevino likes it. It's awesome. I mean, it was. I cried several times.

[Barbie]

Aww.

[Ben]

Mostly like, happy tears. Obviously. It's an emotional film. You know, there's movies now and then that you watch that kind of really make you. Especially in the times that we live in today, just, like, sometimes through sadness, you know, but, like, I think we're just living in this world where we're just constantly focused on ourselves. We need. In our own world, and it's easy to think about how life gets us down. And I think, you know, Bob Trevino likes it about, you know, Lily and the character who, you know, really had no one, you know, and then this bond between these characters makes you appreciate, you know, makes you. It reminds you that you sometimes have to look up a little bit, you know, and see maybe people in need and things like that, you know? Like, one thing Natalie really helped me with when I. When we met is like, you know, I could be on my phone in my own world. It just. Like, Nelly would always say hi to a cashier greeter or a barista and things like that, you know?

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Which I've gotten better at. Like, I feel like this movie, in a weird way, kind of just reminds you to, like, connect with people.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

You know, but it was. It's such a beautiful movie.

[Barbie]

Thank you so much. I totally agree with you. I think the. Lots of, like, the reactions I've been getting and reading about people's reactions has been, like, kind of like. It's so confronting about, like, Kindness. It's like. It's exposure therapy to kindness, was one of the comments I read. And I was like, that's so true. It's like, I feel like this movie really is so hopeful and yet so dark, but so uplifting. I just feel like people don't really make stuff like that anymore. It's usually, like, something fancy, like, with a camera trick and, like, cool clothes and all that stuff. So it's just, like, this film really meant a lot to me. I mean, obviously for personal reasons, but I think for people who are watching it, it's really cool to see the reactions. And I know Tracy, who's, like, the director and writer. She's been doing, like, her little tour around the whole country, and, I mean, outside of the country, too, for all these kind of mini film festivals and really hearing from people, and it's just been sweet. It's like, it's really cool to be part of something that makes people really emotional. I feel like I don't even know, you know, the things that my friend. When my friends watch it, I didn't even know that they would have that reaction.

[Ben]

Yeah, no, it's. It's an emotional film, but very uplifting and obviously, peaks and valleys of some sadness. But it always. It has a very inspirational movie. I mean, it was really touching. Yeah. And like you said, you don't. You don't see a lot of films nowadays like that.

[Barbie]

Yeah. I think it's really radical to do a movie that is, like, genuinely just about being nice, you know? I feel like we live in, like, a world where we're very critical about ourselves, about other people. And Tracy's voice in this movie is just. I remember she. We even have, like, a line that we were like. It was a small character, and it wasn't even mean or anything, but it was, like, a slight joke. And she was like, I don't want to make fun of anyone in this movie. Like, she just has such a. Like. Like a sweetheart. And, like, her voice just, like, radiates through the film, and it's just like. It's such a. Like, it's a warm hug and also, like, really, like, stays with you. I mean, I. Gosh, I had to actually do it. So, like, two months after I was like, oh, my God, how am I gonna recover from this? So it's so cool that people like it. I mean, we did it for, like, so little money in Kentucky. Very tiny crew. Very, very tiny. And everyone just tried to make it happen, and we did, which is honestly a miracle.

[Natalie]

What Connected you and drew you to playing Lily Trevino.

[Barbie]

Well, when I read the script two years ago, I just felt so connected because I have, like, my own father issues. Like, I don't have a father in my life. Yeah. I mean, turns out a tale as old as time. Yeah. Turns out a lot of people have problems with their fathers, you know, And I kind of. I spent a lot of my childhood just kind of ignoring it. Like, it was like, kind of this, like, elephant in the room that I had, like, this father that, like, I just don't talk about. And he was in my life till I was, like, 7, and then he just, like, did, you know, kind of dipped and left the country, in fact. Nice, right? Way to get out. Yeah, why not? So, you know, for me, this was like a. When I started doing therapy, when I was, like, 18, 19, I went in for other reasons, and I kind of was like, well, my childhood, like, who cares? You know, it's all about, like, what, like, 18, 19, whatever my problems were then, which is probably, like, you know, dating and being in New York and being insane. And, you know, And I remember she really, like, made me talk about my childhood, and I just didn't really think it connected in any of it. And so when I did, I was like, oh, my God. My father actually, like, this, like, emptiness in my life actually really affects me every day without me knowing. It's, like, very subconscious. So for me, when I started talking to Tracy, we just had very similar situations happen. Obviously, like, the father in the movie is a bit different than my. Mine wasn't even there, so at least.

[Natalie]

He was there for lunches, I guess.

[Barbie]

Yeah. I don't know if that's much, if it's what's better or worse, but, you know, so it just felt really deep to me. Like, I connected so much with it. And then my manager read in. He connected. I feel like everyone who's seen it, who has, like, this, like, family trauma of any kind, really connects. And even people who. Who don't, you know, they're like, there's been some reactions, like, who would ever do this to their kid? I'm like, you clearly are blessed.

[Ben]

Sadly. Sadly, too many to you.

[Barbie]

Sadly, too many. I mean, anyone can be a parent. I mean, that's, you know, if you want, you know, and so there. It's just. Yeah. That the script really. And I felt for Lily because even though I have gone through things with her, things like hers. Yeah. She's so different than me in a lot of ways, and it was such a Cool character to play that was outside of what I usually do, you know, playing, like, goth girl, which I always love doing. But it was just like. It was just. I can't believe Tracy even saw that character from my previous work, you know, it was like. It was. Because this movie has, like, very little, if any, like, sex or, you know, any of that kind of, like, shocking kind of like, you know, whatever it is. But it was just really cool.

[Ben]

It was, I think, to your point. A lot of times when you have, like, a complex character and obviously Lily is. There's a. Always like this, you know, like, the good angel, dark angel kind of like, there's always, like, what's behind the curtain where Lily was, like, this unbelievably, emotionally resilient, uplifted person. All these scenes where, like, you would expect, like, this absolute crash, you know, from her, but she just kept finding new ways to, like, pick herself back up, which was, like, really inspiring. But also, like, how when you're performing and playing a character like that, there are just a lot of heavy scenes, you know, where you really had to give, you know, emotionally, like, how do you do stuff like that? Was that taxing on you emotionally? You know, as an actor, are you able to dip in and dip out of these characters? Do you have to kind of sit in it? You know, if you're doing one of these scenes that maybe might require a few takes and things like that, like, what is that like? And how do you perform? Because it truly, like a beautiful performance. You really believe it. I'm always like, you know, you want to hug your character, but how do you do that? You know, it's.

[Barbie]

I think every character is super different, I think, with Lily. And also, like. So every time I do a project, I really learn so much about myself. And with Bob Tofino specifically, I think I. When I'm doing a character, I. For the two months that I'm somewhere, like Kentucky or Louisiana or New Mexico, it's just. I really do unintentionally start really dropping into the character, even outside of being there, just because you're living in the place, you're there, isolated. You're really in, like, the workflow for this one specifically, I had to, like, really find the boundaries of, like, you know, because I. I like to, like, talk to everyone all the time, and. And that's totally great when it's just, like, a normal scene and. But when you have to really, like, go deep and kind of get into the darker parts, you know, you have to really isolate. I Remember, I'd find, like, little, like, closets in all the locations to just, like, sit in.

[Ben]

Sure.

[Barbie]

You know, I won't spoil it. But there was, like, one location that there was, like, a little phone booth, and it was literally, like, tiny. And I was just sitting there for, like, 20 minutes, like, listening to sad music because I had to do, like, a pretty intense scene. But, you know, after I'm done with the scene, it. It actually, like, leaves me. I think a lot of people sometimes can't get out of it, but it almost feels like an adrenaline, like, rush after because you're like, okay, this was, like, on my mind. Like, I really wanted to do this justice. And then I can just, like, you know, and then when I'm done, I'm like, okay, we did it. You know, and if I'm proud of it, I mean, most of the time, I don't even know what I did. You know what I mean? I'm like, at the point, I'm like, I hope it was fine. And, you know, like, I blacked out. You know, you literally black out. And I was like, I just trust the director to tell me if it was good or not. But this one was. It did. And, like, I feel like it was, like, a tough summer for me in general. And doing the movie was actually pretty therapeutic, I think. And, you know, it was, like, untangling a lot of the stuff inside of me and the whole crew and cast. Like, the things that you learn from people when you watch something like this or you, like, are working on something like this, it's like, you know, everyone was there with us. It was so sweet. It was really, like, the sweetest, like, experience of my life. It was very healing.

[Natalie]

I was about to say, I'm sure it's like you probably didn't realize it or know that that would happen going into it, but, like, healing your younger self from, like, what you experienced from your dad through, like, playing this whole character and, like, building this bond with this guy. It's like, I feel like that was incredibly healing for you just as, like, your inner child.

[Barbie]

Absolutely. And speaking of inner child, I feel like when I approached this role, I felt like it was like Lily is the inner child. You know, there was something about her that was just so young and, like, there's, like, this, like, sweet night. Like, like, naive. Naivete. I don't know how to say it, but, you know, just, like a very. It feels like every. Because she has so much unresolved trauma. It's like the inner child is, like, the Forefront of it.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

So that's why I feel like, you know, in the scenes where things. When she, like, balled it up so much and then she exploded, it was like, you know, the kid inside, like, really was the motivating or the. The thing I kept thinking of is, like, what is the little. The little Lily, like, thinking? And where does that, like, put her in it? And that's why, like, some of the scenes, like, it's at the surface, it might not be very, you know, emotional. But then when Lily is in it, it's stuff that she can't even, like, process consciously, you know? And I think that that's from. That was part of my whole thing in general growing up. So I didn't know what an inner child was. And then once I started doing therapy and, like, really, like, caring about myself, and I think that's what Lily, you know, that's her journey in this movie, that I really realized what that meant and how that informs everything that you do in your life. So I think this is, like, the first chapter of her vibes.

[Ben]

The scene not to give too much away, where Lily's therapist cries. Yes. I saw an interview. You mentioned that. Your first therapy session.

[Barbie]

Not my first, but I've had therapists cry.

[Ben]

You made a therapist cry.

[Barbie]

I have.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Barbie]

And it was very awkward. Yeah.

[Ben]

You're like, was that in the script originally or. Yes, it was.

[Barbie]

It happened to Tracy as well.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Barbie]

So we have, like, a lot, like, you know, and I didn't think this was a common thing. I thought, like, maybe this therapist was just, like, a fluke or something and just, like, really, like. But it happened with Tracy. When we talked, I was like, oh, my gosh, this is crazy. I guess this happens to not just me, but. Yeah, it definitely happened pretty recently, actually.

[Ben]

Wow.

[Barbie]

Yeah. Like, years ago.

[Ben]

How did you deal with something like that?

[Barbie]

I was just like, ha.

[Ben]

Because in the movies, and how does.

[Natalie]

That make you feel?

[Barbie]

And does that make you feel bad?

[Ben]

Like, how's your inner child feeling?

[Barbie]

Yeah, how's your inner child? I think it was our first session ever, too. So I was like, okay, you know, therapist. You got a date. You know, I had this great therapist in New York who I love, and she was. Was such a wonderful person in my life. And, you know, when I moved to LA six years ago, I've still been, you know, dating therapists here and there. I haven't found. I mean, I have the one. I have a good one that I like, but it's just like, I haven't found the one that I'm like, oh, this is the person. And maybe this is the one that I have right now is the person. But it's like, it feels like dating.

[Ben]

No, it very much is. And I always remind people too. It's just like, you know, not all doctors are created equal. Not all mechanics are dating created equal. Or therapist. And you know, like, like, because therapy has become in. In the best possible way. So normalized.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Now there's kind of this increase of, you know, new therapists. And you kind of. You have to weed through.

[Barbie]

Gotta. You gotta find someone who speaks your language too, who understands your, like, your life.

[Ben]

Or also, you do have to kind of check in with yourself. Just like in dating where, you know, we. We have a format. It's called asknik. People call in and ask, like, relationship questions. I'm always like, I'm not a therapist, but here's what I think. And lots of times the, you know, the people who call in are in therapy of like, well, what does your therapist think about this? Sometimes it's just like, well, we've been talking about this for like, two years, and it's just like, well, I'm not here to tell you not to. Like. Yeah, but like, have you made progress? Or like, have you changed? You know, like, if they asked you this or that. And, you know, and like, sometimes you have to ask, like, where have I gotten with this topic? Or why haven't I explored something else? Because, like, you know, it is nice to talk about your feelings, but, like, sometimes you want the progress. Yeah. When you have friends, you know, like. Like I used to be that person when I was going through heartbreaks where I would just, like, I would find that one or two person in my life, that friend. It was usually like a woman friend. Sometimes it was like a co worker who, like. There was a bit of a disconnect where I felt like I could just, like, unload my, you know, emotions on this. And they were just like, you know, they'd love to hear it. It'd be great. And then I would like, exhaust them and I would find someone else to like also, you know, but this is.

[Barbie]

So funny that humans just do this and they were always like, why are we so weird? I'm like, everyone does this.

[Ben]

Yeah. Like, there's no progress. There's no, like, you just kind of start. You re. You forget. You know, I think sometimes even with therapy, if you don't have a good therapist, you can become connected to talking about the pain that you're experiencing with or like, that becomes familiar. Especially, like, heartbreak. You know, I always tell people, just be careful because, like, sometimes missing them and. And wishing you're with them is that last part of the relationship you have to let go. Because, like. And, you know, when you really think it's over, that's the scary part. So you hold on to the pain because that's the thing that you have left. And, like, sometimes a therapist who maybe isn't as good as they could be or you're not connecting with can, you know, keep you in that.

[Barbie]

Keep you in that. And. Because there's so many different kinds of therapy, and I've tried a lot of different ones, and, you know, it's like, some things are just. There's some kind of therapy where you just talk and they say nothing. You know, they're like, just talk therapy. There's like, cbt. There's like, so many different kinds. And, you know, it's interesting because people always just, like, a vague statement is just like, go to therapy. You know, and it's like, well, we gotta educate people on, like, what kind of help they might want or what works for them. And, you know, trust me, I've had some bad therapists, okay? And I'm like, how are you? You. Yeah, a professional. I'm scared. I'm scared, you know, so it's like. It's interesting because it's, you know, it's people at the end of the day, you know, this human error and everything. And I think, you know, with this scene, it was. It was so funny because when I. When I read it, I was like, this is. No, no way. This is in the script. Because this just happened to me, like, literally at the time, it must have been, like, very recently, too. So I was just like, oh, this is the. The world, the universe telling me to do this movie. Because it's, like, eerily, like, similar to your life. It's eerily close.

[Ben]

Through therapy, like, what is something that you've kind of learned about yourself for the better, you know, where. You know, we've talked about, obviously, that maybe the. The challenges of therapy. But what's something. Maybe that when you've kind of discovered the who of your inner child? I mean, I learned that the first time I. You know, I started in therapy when I was in Covid, and it was more like, I advocate for therapy. I'm doing okay, but, like, you know, sit at home, might as well.

[Barbie]

Yeah, why not?

[Ben]

You know, I felt, like, generally pretty good. It wasn't like, you know, life is dark, you know, and then the first, first session, it was like, how many brothers and sisters do you have? Tell me about your parents? All this and just kind of just. And I had a generally great childhood, but like just understanding the premise.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Of that, you know, and why we do what we do, why we maybe sit in our emotions, why we act a certain way, you know. And then as you get older, you do like, as I get older, at least it's like that. What's that commercial you grow up to be your parents and things like that where it's just like, I know every once in a while I have this like feeling where I'm like, when did I become my dad? And then you learn about that and you then, then you became more self aware about like your triggers and like how your parents reacted to you and you're like, oh, holy shit. You know. And so what did you learn about yourself through kind of diving into therapy?

[Barbie]

Gosh, I learned so much. I think I used to do therapy when I was a kid, but it was. I grew up in like a very like low income family, so it wasn't the best. It was kind of, you know, what my insurance could cover and it, you know, it did the job, I guess. But when I started doing therapy as an adult, I used to just think I was crazy. And I think that that's. Or I'm the problem. And I think that a lot of people just assume that like, oh, no, it's just me. Like, I just attract this kind of like negativity in my life. And what I really started really deeply understanding is that everything, all my reactions, it is my responsibility to like, like, fix it, but it's not my fault, you know, And I think that that's really. I remember like the first time, like the first few sessions of this, you know, my therapist was like, there's like stages to this. You're gonna get really angry at the people you grew up with and then you're gonna like, you know, accept it and then you're gonna forgive the. You know, there's like. Or that's like kind of like what happens. Like, you start getting angry. You're like, why did you do this to me? And then, you know, I think through all these years, what I've realized is like, we all are doing our best, but that, that doesn't mean that it was good. It does not mean it was good. And accepting both those truths at the same time, Like, I don't. I was raised by my mom, my grandma. They're incredibly great people, love them. But I can also accept that like the childhood wasn't, yeah, great.

[Natalie]

You know, I think I've gotten to a place where it's like I'm able to look at my dad and the relationship that he's able to have with his children and be like, you know, that's the best that you can do. Like you, you don't have a dad bone in your body, but like, like that you're doing the best you can, you know. And like, honestly I just stopped expecting dad things from him and like, it's fine now.

[Ben]

You know, sometimes you imagine like a parent getting off the phone, you know, and thinking I was a, I was a good parent there and the kid on the other end of the phone being like, that was horrible. What was that? You know, and like, you know, sometimes there is, there's a disconnect and like I've had to learn as I've gotten older, like the difference between, I think sometimes we're afraid to empathize with people we don't understand or we're in conflict with because we feel like empathizing with them is like justifying their actions. Yeah, but like sometimes you can learn how to empathize. Not to justify, explain or like let them off the hook, but at least like just understand where they're coming from. You know, just to know that it's like.

[Barbie]

And of course there's some people who, it is an ill intentioned malice in their heart, of course. And you know, one can debate that, but it's good to understand that generationally things are just, you know, everyone is just trying to do a little bit better than the last. And I always said, I'm like, well, my mom grew up in Brazil and she was like in a tiny town and like, you know, all these things she was, you know, it was, it was bad, you know, and my, I'm like, I grew up in New York, I lives in Jersey, I like went to a high school in America. Like, you know, so for me it was kind of like I almost like didn't even think of any of the problems because I was like, well, it's much better than how my mom grew up.

[Natalie]

And it's also like, I bet your mom didn't get therapy at 18, 19. You know, like my mom didn't either. And so now I look at, at the issues that we're having and it's like, you know, if you were able to have like gone back and gotten therapy and like healed this, then maybe we wouldn't be having these types of Issues. But it's like you have to get down to like their level and be like, okay, you haven't unlocked like this part of you yet. And that's why like, we have these issues.

[Barbie]

Absolutely. My mom started doing therapy, I think like, must have been like 20 years ago at this point, you know. And what's funny is also my mom had me at 21.

[Natalie]

Okay.

[Barbie]

So we grew up together. I'm the only child. She's 21. And really like, you know, really trying to make it work with having a child and being like an immigrant. So I have so much empathy for her for that. And also I think like, in Brazilian culture it's always just like you. You know, I've always heard of like the stories that my grandma used to like beat my mom up, you know, and like, haha, that's funny. And like that's totally normal. And like all these like, culturally was just completely different. So like trying to connect with my family and some people, like, my mom will go to therapy and it's great. And then some other people, you just kind of have to realize that they are gonna do what they want to do. There is just nothing you can do about it. And that's really the hard part is like letting go of like the control that you have with your family. And it's like, I can't help you if you don't want to be helped. And I just have to watch you kind of destroy everything. You know, it's. It's sad. But there's something, you know, I'm like 28 now and I, I know if I were to call my mom about something, and my mom is a funny, amazing. She's so hilarious. And if I call her, if I, you know, need stitches or something, she's gonna freak out. Yeah. She's not the one that I need to call first. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and no matter what, like I'm 28, like at this point, I know that like, if there's like a problem like that, like she's gonna be screaming on the other side of the phone on the plane, you know, and I can just like relax.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

So I, I know where to get calm. Like, I know where to go. Like, I have my friends, I have my, my family. I know who's the strengths of everyone. And I don't expect anyone to do something that's radically different than what they are because I'm only gonna get disappointed. Right. So I'm like, it's just not gonna happen.

[Ben]

Yeah. So much about this movie is like Kind of that almost like a second storyline, almost or theme maybe is a better word for. Is like the found family, you know.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And, you know, sadly for people who don't have a healthy relationship with, you know, their parents or relatives, obviously a lot of people in the LGB community, like, will have to, you know, feel like maybe their family isn't it for them. And what's that like for you? Do you have, like, a found family in la? And who are those people that you've really connected with and made, like, a new community with?

[Barbie]

Absolutely. So I have a really small family because my whole family's Brazilian except for me. And so my mom and my grandma, my aunt lived here in the U.S. so it was only three people out of, like, you know, cousins and siblings, not my siblings, but, you know, everyone. So we always had, like, chosen family. Like, every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, it would be like, 60 Brazilians who. They can't go back home. And so even, like the last Thanksgiving, I went to my mom's house, and there were literally, like a hundred people there. And it's people that I grew up with who are like family. But, you know, we're not in Brazil, so we can't see our extended family. So we have, like, an extended family in the. Within the family, within Brazilians, in, like, the New York area. Right. And so. And my mom was really far away, and my grandma moved back to Brazil. My aunt's in Florida. So I really, you know, it's a very sparse family in the state. So for me, I mean, I have, like, my best friends. I have people that I really lean on. And every time I have, like, a family thing, it's like, my friends also come because they mean that much. And my mom also has that, too, where it's like, we just value friendship a lot. And that's really important to me and I think is not, like, instilled in everyone. Like, people think that, like, they're, I think, can only be, like, really close with, like, their family or their partners, and they can't have this, like, really close, like, platonic bond, you know. And so for me, it's. I have always grew up with people who weren't blood, blood, like, related, but we're like family. And I would call them chia. And she was like, aunt and uncle and like, you know, and these are people that have known me my whole life, too. So I think chosen family is. Especially if their family's not here, if the family is not accepted. I know tons of people who, like, you know, we celebrate Holidays together because, you know, they might. Or they might come to my. My family's holidays and, you know, be part of that because they don't have that. So I think chosen family is really important, and I think it's not valued as much. And, you know, for me, friendship has always been, like, number one.

[Natalie]

What is, like, traits or qualities that you think keep a friendship, like, lasting? Like, how. How do you think you've made these friendships last so long?

[Barbie]

Oh, gosh. A lot of my friends are like people I've been friends with for a long, long time, I think making fun of each other that with my best friend Ben, who happens to be in the room right there. Hey, girl. He comes everywhere with me. But, you know, I think think having, like, laughing, being there, like, loyalty, you know, we all support each other to the max. We make fun of each other, like, in a playful way. We, like, keep it just, you know, it's like family. It's like having siblings. You know, I never had a sibling, so that's why what I assume having a sibling is like, you know, where it's like, you know, no matter what, we're there for each other and they're. And it's really, I think, important, especially since I'm far away from everyone and I have such a small, tiny little family. You know, it's from all, you know, crazy great women. It's great to have, like, people that I've met through my life who stick around.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah. Well, let's stick around part as I. This is the important part, because, you know, the thing about family, you know.

[Barbie]

I have 10 siblings, okay, opposite of me.

[Ben]

The opposite. And I joke. I mean, getting a dog taught me something. And that is the difference between unconditional love and unconditional like, oh, okay, you know, where I was like, I don't. My parents don't. They don't unconditionally like me, you know, like, they unconditionally love me. Like.

[Barbie]

Like. And love very different, right?

[Ben]

Like, my dogs. Everything I do is awesome to them and my parents. It's just like sometimes you're an kind of thing, right? And that's the nice thing about family is that you can just know. Even though there's a disconnect or maybe your guys are bumping personalities. That for a lot of people, not always, because obviously sometimes, like, with Lily's character, it's. It's. It's very dark. But you just. You feel that sense of, like, I have a community, I have people. And with friendships, I think sometimes people struggle With. Because especially like LA is a perfect example. A lot of transplants, a lot of people trying to make friends, people will start hanging out, they'll connect, they'll have fun. But then as you guys get to know each other, you see some of the cracks in each other. You, people make bad decisions, people make mistakes. And then sometimes instead of sticking around, there's more of a, like, like, I don't want anything to do with this.

[Barbie]

The LA flakiness happens to us.

[Ben]

And then people really have to kind of go through those trial and error periods with friendships because, like, you know, I always say, like, everyone calls himself loyal. It's like one of those things where people will say, you know, no one's like, yeah, I'm not loyal.

[Barbie]

I'm a completely disloyal person.

[Ben]

But the truth is, is like a lot of people just aren't. You know what I'm saying? A lot of people aren't like, they're loyal to the degree that like, as long as they, their needs are served in a relationship, they're good to go. But when things get tough, when someone's down bad, and maybe they're down bad because of their own choices and mistakes, you know, but like the friends who may stick around have a tough conversation, maybe, maybe it's like, you know, you kind of.

[Barbie]

Friendship is all about tough conversations.

[Ben]

Right. You know, so. But like, that stick around part is always really important. And I, yeah, it's just like I've. People love to call themselves loyal and.

[Barbie]

We gotta put them to the loyalty test. Yeah, we gotta, we gotta test them.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

I feel like I totally agree with you because I, I've been living LA for six years and almost all my friends are from. Are people that I met in New York, which is also a very similar kind of vibe. You know, maybe like, you know, instead of Hollywood, it's more like fashion and, and like art. But it's like, you know, people are there for their own interest. And I grew up in New York and Jersey and all my friends are people that I've known for so long and I rarely have people and I meet people that are great all the time. But having that like, friendship where you can have tough conversations, you can like, read your friends and just be like, you need to get it together or I need to get it together. I'm in a horrible, like, place right now. And they're understanding and it's not just like putting a band aid over it, but like, contin. It's like having a relationship. It's like Almost. I mean, to me, my friendships are way deeper than the relationships I've had, just because they've been longer and they've been. Been. I guess, like the trials that we've. It's been tested more, you know, and I just think it's incredibly important because especially now, people feel so lonely. And I mean, Lily's a great example. Just like, loneliness and. And just like, people aren't interacting as much. They're not going outside as much. They're not like, connecting with people. And it's. I mean, it's been happening slowly for, you know, a while now, but it just. I think a lot of people just feel really lonely and it's causing a lot of problems, actually. Like. Like major issues.

[Ben]

Yeah. 100 people need to get outside, say hi, put them, you know, get out of their comfort zone, interact with people. You know, people are always like, how do I meet new people? It's like, well, you have.

[Barbie]

You have to actually go outside myself all the time. I'm like, I can't just be at home all day. Like, I have to. If I want to, you know, see the sunshine and talk to people, like, I have to actually go out the front door. And making an effort is hard. I mean, you know, and I'm trying to get better at it. I think one of my New Year's resolutions this year is to, like, make sure that I. Not missing like, my friends birthdays for no reason or, you know, making a concerted effort to be there for the people that I love. Even if it's at, like, if. If it. If it's harder to do, even if I have to make it work. You know what I mean? So I just think that that's really important because I would. Whatever I expect people to do for me, you know, I want to give back to the people I love. And. And it, you know, it seems kind of silly to be like, I should be a good friend too. But it's just like, you know, I think that I just like, in checking myself and being like, okay, like, sometimes I'm. I'm an actor. Like, that's. We all are like, always, like, just thinking about ourselves. Like, that's like, really what you do all day. You're like, huh, you know, it's a very crazy industry night, and I. And I don't want to, like, take up all the space in conversations and stuff, especially when I'm frustrated. It's like, feels like I can ruminate on something over and over again. So just being a good friend, also just being Honest, like if something goes wrong, I just am like, listen, this is what is happening with me. It has nothing to do with you or it does have something to do with you. And you know, I hope you forgive me, but I just need a second because I'm going crazy.

[Ben]

Yeah. And that's why like that subtlety in this movie kind of shows that kind of like that balance between again, like the climate that we're in today, right? Like the awareness of therapy. And again there's that, that balance between understanding your childhood, understanding your trauma, understanding what happened and how that relates to you, but still being able to think outside of, of your needs. Right? Because a lot of therapy is very reflective, right? A lot of, a lot of, you know, today's understanding, you know, the generational trauma, yada, yada, which I think can be great and very beneficial. But like the, the risk sometime is allowing that person almost to become a little selfish and self centered and like only focusing on what has happened to them and why they've been wronged and why they've been victimized by the people around them. And that can be both true and valid. But we have to remind ourselves that there's a whole world going on around us. You know, there's other people, our friends and strangers. Like that moment in the movie where Bob's talking to his wife and he's pointing out like Lily is this like, you know, I don't, he's. She's in the void screaming.

[Barbie]

She's screaming out. I love that line because it's so sad.

[Ben]

And he talks about how like, you know, she's getting no engagement and likes. And I think a lot of people in today's age would look at that and go, ew, weird. What's wrong with, what's wrong with her?

[Barbie]

Why is she saying like, hashtag, best lunch ever? Like, that's so weird.

[Ben]

I mean, there's moments in that movie where Lily is just kind of like giving a little crazy, you know?

[Barbie]

Exactly.

[Natalie]

Like, stop posting so much. Why are you posting that?

[Barbie]

You know, what I mean is like what I think about this movie is that it's like a really great character study on someone who is just, you know, I think for me I'm just like shrouded in. Like I'm, I'm like so Gen Z. Like I have, it's like third voice in my head about the Internet, like what looks cool, what doesn't. And I really actively try to like combat that. I know a lot of people, people feel that way where it's like you just feel like you're just watched and judged for everything. With Lily, she's such a pure heart that, like, when you see someone be so vulnerable, it's so, like, affecting. Especially now, I think, because we're so used to not wanting to cringe, not wanting to feel, like, empathy for people that, like, maybe we don't understand where they're coming from. And so this character was really just so interesting to me because, you know, she. There's so many people like her who are just, like, hungry for any kind of friendship and really lonely and, you know, and people might make fun of her. Like, I feel like, you know, that's. I think what really is uncomfortable about it is that people might see themselves kind of in her and also in the people that are affecting her. You know what I mean? It's like, it feels like, you know, you kind of have to be in your head and be like, this person is clearly, like, traumatized and wanting to have people around her. But. But, you know, I'm not used to seeing someone so, you know, excited and earnest and all this stuff. And it's like. It's almost like a little bit of, like. It's very. I always say confront. It confronts you with it. And I totally. Yeah, I totally agree with you. And it's. I think Lily just, like, for me, is a very good representation of, like, the people that we ignore, you know, the people that don't matter, quote, unquote, on the Internet. You know, we're like, following influencers and people who are, like, living this, like, really fabulous life and, you know, all this stuff. And then there's this girl who's like, she's not doing, like, a get ready with me. She's not like, she has no idea about the algorithm or it's on Facebook. It's, like, not even supposed to be. It's supposed to be for, like, family and friends. You know, it's like she genuinely just wants family and friends, and it's so sweet. And I think it's also. People just don't think that way. You know, I just think that they're ashamed of feeling like they want people and to admit that they don't have people around them.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

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[Barbie]

Well, I think for me, I was. I started modeling when I was 16 and I worked with a lot of people that I. I knew. So I would like, always at first. So at first it was like, you know, I did editorials with my friend Patrick Collins, who's like a great artist, and we would do like pictures of me in like a bedroom. Like, you know, like very. It was a very specific look and it was always for like art magazines and stuff. So that was always really cool because it was friends and I always shot with friends. I met people, you know, and then when I started doing it professionally, I was like 18 or so. You know, I never had like a really horrible experience. Like, I never, you know, even though. Yeah, I model for American Apparel, which had like that whole drama, which never affected me or anything. But the thing that I think was really hard for me was that I felt. Felt like I just wasn't healed from. I was 18, freshly 18. Just got out of my mom's house all alone, being flown out to like, you know, Germany to go do E. Com and. And all that. And I would go every day to like, go do. And I just was like, alone with my thoughts for like the first time in my life. Like, there was no mom, there was no grandma, There was no, like, you know, I wasn't. I was alone and I had to be my own adult. So I think that was really hard for me. I think I always was like, like freaking out for no reason.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

Yeah. I mean, I was also 18. I was like, super irresponsible. Like, there'd be times I like, lose my wallet in like, London, you know what I mean? Then everyone has to like, try to help me get back home. And you know, it was fun. It was like silly. Like, I was like partying and like, so it's. It was really fun. And, and being a plus size model was really cool because it felt like I was around people that understood and there wasn't like that typical like, kind of pressure of like, you know, obviously being really thin or, or being particularly tall or, you know, all these like, kind of like nitpicks that people. That's size models do. Like, for me, I was like, you know, Modeling for, like, Target and, like, doing just, like, it was pretty fun. And I met really good people. And, you know, I think for me, at the end. Towards the end of my modeling career, I was like, 21. I just was kind of frustrated. I was just like, I'm kind of sick of just doing photos because I was also doing a lot of, like, video stuff. I had, like, a little vice show on Broad, like, with Broadly, and I had, like. And I did like, a Teen Vogue thing, and I was like, I really just want, like, I feel like I, I. I've done enough of this, and I feel like kind of slowing down. I don't feel, like, fulfilled by this anymore. And I always wanted to be an actor, so I was like, I think it's time. Time for me to invest in myself and, you know, try it out.

[Natalie]

And, I mean, it's.

[Barbie]

It worked. Thank God. Yeah.

[Natalie]

And it is taking off, and it is.

[Barbie]

I had no other plan, so I was really like, it's either this or, I don't know, cashier at the New Jersey shop.

[Ben]

Right when euphoria really, like, took off and things exploded. Was that. What was that like? You know, just kind of to go from more of a normal life as, you know, working actor to ultra famous and lovable, and everyone's just, like, fascinated with you. Did you. Was there a moment where, like, one day you went to bed, the next day you. It felt like you stepped outside.

[Barbie]

And you know, what's funny is it start. It slowly started in the beginning. And I remember Hunter and I were at a. We're having, like, breakfast somewhere. This is when this trailer came out, and the waitress was like, oh, I saw you guys trailer for your new HBO show, and we were, like, freaked out. We were like, it's out. You know, like, you know, what's funny is that, like, it went by so fast. I, like, it was such a whirlwind. I don't think I was even, like, processing what was happening. And after, like, week four of it being out, I was like, okay. Like, this is getting like. I'm, like, actually, like, going. Like, people are really stopping me for, like, on the street, and it's like, really, like, you know, and at the time I had my short hair, I, like, looked like my character. You know, sometimes if I, you know, don't look like Kat, like, I can get away with a lot. And I also, like, wore my actual glasses in the show, so I had to, like, change those because I just literally look like I was walking around.

[Ben]

In costume, like, ooh, hindsight's 20 20. Not a good idea.

[Barbie]

Yeah, not a great idea idea, but it was. It was amazing. I think, like, I just didn't. I expected it to do well because I was like, it's Zendaya. It's like kids, like, you know, like, it's like, you know, we're. We're all, like, you know, doing, like. It just felt like new and fresh and, like, no one has ever done that. And I loved, like, shows like Skins, like Degrassi and, like, all these, like, teen shows, like, whatever level. There's like, the. The dirtier ones and like, the. The kind of more, like, polished ones, but I always love them. So it's really. It was really fun to be part of, like, the generations, like, teen show that, like, really depicted this generation. And I always. I was hoping for that. I. The whole time I was like, I want this to be like, Skins. I want this to be like, our dirty, like, salacious, like, teen drama that, like, every, like, kid wants to watch, you know, and it worked. It really was exactly that. Right?

[Ben]

And it really, like. And that's the thing. It's just like, to your point, what's cool about shows like that, or films or movies that, you know, kind of encapsulate an era, if you will, is that they do stand the test of time. You know, we'll go back and watch old 80s movies or 90s movies or, like, I grew up, you know, when Can't Hardly Wait came out when I was in high school. And like, the shows, especially, at least for the people who grew up with them, they always hold a special place in your heart, right? And so, like, euphoria for a lot of people, but especially people who connected with that era, it will live on in ways that I think other shows or films don't. And that's incredible.

[Barbie]

I mean, it's. It's a privilege to have in your career, especially, like, the first big. I mean, I had, like, a couple things that I did before it was very, like, small. To have that happen really early is like. I mean, that's, like, what you want. You know, you. You can make. Make so much stuff, like, you know, and people can like it, but, like, who's watching it? And euphoria really just popped off in a way, and I didn't expect it to be like that at all. I was like, okay, this is really cool. And it also popped off in a way that was really fun. Like, it was just like. I felt like it was merging my life of, like, fashion and, like, acting. And it was really cool because I got to, like, put my little outfits on and, like, you know, and I was really young, so, like, of course I was, like, always, like, insecure and, like, you know, but overall, it was just. Just. It was really cool. And I think, like, it just went so fast that I didn't really process it until I really had time to be like, oh, my God. I was. I don't even. Like, I was like, that was insane. You know, that was so cool.

[Natalie]

You did play a very interesting and, like, sexual, powerful character. What were your original thoughts of Kat?

[Barbie]

Oh, my gosh. When I read Kat, I. I remember just. I read it. I had no context to it, and I was like, wait a second. This is me. I go, wait a second. Did they just write about my life? And I was like. And I remember. Remember they. They had this, like, open call that was, like, thousands and thousands and thousands of people. And so I had an acting age at the time, and I got the audition through that, but, like, my friends were all auditioning for it, too, and I was like, you guys have never acted. Like, what do you mean? So I'd be like, you know what I mean? Like, what are you talking about? You know? And, like, I re. It, like, made me sick how much I wanted it, and thankfully it worked out, but it literally, like, it was months of me auditioning and just being like, please, you guys have to hear me out. And I mean, with Kat's, like, sexuality just felt, like, really real. I mean, mean, it's like the Internet and, like, exploring sexuality. The Internet's, like, obviously how people are doing it these days at first, you know, and again, it's like that loneliness thing where it's like you're trying to feel connection. And doing contemporary things like this, where it involves the Internet is a lot of the things I do involve. A lot of the movies I've shot that I don't even know involves the Internet a lot. But it's just, like, contemporary things that. That reflect how people feel without it feeling, like, corny is really, I think, important because people, like, hate seeing phones and movies and shows and stuff, But I'm like, that's just the reality. Like, we can't make a. A project about 2020 without an iPhone, you know, it's like, it has to be part of it, so it's cool to find ways to. To make it work. And cinematically, the micro penis is something.

[Natalie]

That will live in my head forever. I don't think I'll ever get that.

[Barbie]

I know. And I told him not to show me until we were shooting. That is so, like, unless you guys are literally rolling, I'm. Don't show me. Because I wanted to be, like, genuinely surprised. So the actor was, like, upstairs in, like, a fake little set that they made in, like, a green room. Room. And I had, like, a earpiece so I could just hear him breathing. And he was really. He was amping up. He's great. It went on. I was there like, ah, I believe that is what is in the show. Yeah, it was great.

[Natalie]

Is all of our reactions.

[Barbie]

We had a lot of prosthetic penises.

[Natalie]

A lot, A lot. Did anyone come out and say that their penis was real or was.

[Barbie]

I don't think anyone's penis. I think. I mean, before I get technical, I think if there. If. If the. If there's an erection, I think you have to have you do a. A prostate penis. I think if it's not that. I think you don't have to. But I asked this question so many times. I'm like, is that real? And I have. I have had no answer. I'm like, maybe someone here can answer this for me. Is it like. Is it like the union law that, like, if it's, you know, if it's erect, you have to have a prosthetic penis or. If you know what I mean. I want to know. I want to know the. Because everyone did have a prosthetic, I'm.

[Ben]

Pretty sure I will say it's a very loaded question for men.

[Barbie]

It is.

[Ben]

There's no way to answer that without either being somewhat douchey, weird.

[Barbie]

Yep.

[Ben]

Or. Or coming across like your project. You know, there's always like, are you hiding something or are you showing. There's just no way. It's an absolute trap. It's an absolute trap. So it's just like, you just can't.

[Barbie]

You don't mention it. You're just like, I do wonder, like, if you, like. I don't know if the actors got to, like, choose. You know what I mean? Like, that's interesting for me. Like, I want to know, like, what the process. Like, is it like, the character or is it, like an ego thing?

[Natalie]

I feel. I saw an interview of Jacob being like, I.

[Barbie]

You chose.

[Natalie]

He was like, I. I went in and I select.

[Barbie]

Yeah, there's a huge selection and I picked the right one.

[Ben]

That's your point. Are they choosing it because it represents them or are they choosing it because it's like, well, I would like to play something different today.

[Barbie]

Yeah, I know that's so interesting. You'll never know. We will never know.

[Ben]

You never know. You had decided to leave Euphoria and talked about how you just felt like Kat, the character, her story was told. Yeah. You don't see a lot of that from actors, obviously, regardless of the success of the show. And then sometimes as fans, we will watch shows where the whole jumping the shark idea, or sometimes, for me, it's just like Dexter ended after season four. It's like we just.

[Barbie]

We don't talk about the rest.

[Ben]

But for you to decide, regardless of what is gonna happen with Euphoria, for you to decide, that must have been a difficult choice. And, like, how did you. How did you make that decision and how have you felt about it since then?

[Barbie]

Yeah, I think it was very mutual. So it wasn't just, like, my choice, I think after having a lot of conversation and after season two, I think it just. There was just nowhere to go, you know, And I think instead of me kind of, like lingering around for nine months, I think it was best for. For, you know, both of us that we just kind of ended it there, you know, And I think it. For me, I mean, of course it's hard. I'm like, I. I love Euphoria. I love Kat. Like, Kat means the world to me. I mean, I spent so many years, like, pouring everything into her, but it's like, you know, you don't want to ruin a good thing. I think that, that and I. And it's a mutual. It was a mutual decision. It was absolutely not just me. So it was like, you know, everyone decided that this was. There was no to go. And that's hard, obviously, because I'm like, you know, what am I going to do? But again, with acting like things just. Things happen all the time, and you just have to have thick skin and just, like, make the right decisions for you and your career. And it was hard. I was really young, and it was just, you know, it was tough, obviously. Like, there was a lot of, like, you know, discourse about it that wasn't true. And I'm a person who just kind of, like, lets everything kind of happen because.

[Ben]

Was there anything in particular that. That you read that felt the most kind of. Of offensive or egregious?

[Barbie]

There was a couple. I think most of it. I mean, people just. It's. It's a popular show, so people, like, took it out of, you know, they, they, they, they. They kind of. There wasn't like, I never, like, walked off set. There was never anything like that. Like, that was like, A whole thing. She like, you know, oh, I did all this. And I was like, I absolutely never did that. You could ask, like, the hundreds of people that were there every day.

[Ben]

No. Fan theories.

[Barbie]

Fan theories are crazy. And most of the time they're not right. But sometimes they are. Sometimes they are.

[Ben]

Well, you know. You know.

[Barbie]

Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, wow.

[Ben]

Yeah. Well, you know, you give them a hundred guesses sometimes, then at one point.

[Barbie]

You gotta guess right.

[Ben]

And, you know, I think it's sometimes fans. I always remind myself that fan is short for fanatic, you know, not that I don't. You want to appreciate fans, but you also. And that's why it's important for at least, you know, Natalie and I are always kind of talking, or it's like, listen, like, we just. We don't. It's not our business, you know, type of thing. Because, like, and that's tough. You want to have that relationship, but you want to give them the freedom to be fans. Because part of being a fan is just like talking with your friends and having these theories. Right.

[Barbie]

To talk.

[Ben]

Exactly.

[Barbie]

And you don't even believe it half the time.

[Ben]

And, like, they're not. They're not. You know, it's like that classic case of someone, like, write something, meaning your comments, and then, like, you decided for whatever reason to, like, like it or respond, whatever reason, and they're like, oh, my God, I'm just kidding. I love you. You're the best.

[Barbie]

And like, literally, it happened to me before. I. That's why I stopped. I'm like, at this point, respect to everyone, like, comments back and, like, claps back and everything. I have never been that girl.

[Ben]

It's.

[Barbie]

In fact, I just let it, like, kind of go into its own world and then fizzle out because what am I going to do? All I'm going to do is. Is just fuel. They're not going to listen to me. They're not going to, like, believe me if I say something, you know, so it's just like, fans. They're being fans. And also I can't read it, you know, that's like one thing too, is a big thing. I think that's what. When Euphoria came out, I was so used to being on the Internet, you know, I was like, always, like, telling everyone, like, everything I was doing. Like, always, like, talking to camera, you know, like, just always, like, filling people in. And I think, like, my biggest sacrifice as an actor is that I don't use the Internet for fun anymore. Really. I mean, obviously, like, I scroll Through Tick tock and, you know, do that. But I don't, like, post for, like, a lot of fun most of the time. You know, I just feel like it's not the same being an actor who's like, in a show that's popular also, like, it's so Internet, you know, But I'll take it. I'm. I'm getting older. I'm fine.

[Ben]

Who from the cast have you stayed closest with?

[Barbie]

Well, I saw Hunter the other day. I saw Mod the other day. Sydney came to come see my play. So, I mean, they're all so big busy. I mean, I've been out of town for like eight months, so I'm like, you know, we, we, we. Whenever we're in town, we always try to see each other. And they came to support the play, which was really sweet. It was very sweet.

[Natalie]

That is nice. Yeah. Sensitive subject, Angus. Clouds, death. How obviously we saw that affect the world. How did that affect cast and you personally? I mean.

[Barbie]

Yeah, Gosh, it's so hard for me to talk about Ada.

[Ben]

I'm sorry.

[Barbie]

No, it's okay. Um, I mean, it's tragic. I don't think I've ever been through anything like that. And I think we all were just really affected by it. And I mean, it just, you know, I. I haven't lost a lot of people, thank God. And so this was like, just, you know, I was actually in Kentucky at the time, so I was very isolated when I heard it, and it was just, Just a great shame. Angus was the coolest guy, the craziest dude. Like, literally the amount of stories, I. I just love that I can cherish those moments. You know, I. I think about him a lot and I just, you know.

[Ben]

Such a unique person. Like you said. Oh, my gosh, like, his story was fascinating.

[Barbie]

He was incredible. Like, he was a complete, like, sweetheart, like, character. Like, it's just. Yeah, it's really, really tragic. It's just he's so young and, you know. Yeah, it was hard.

[Ben]

Okay, you guys, for everyone who wants to know, are you d t f down to farm? That is. That's right. Farmer wants a Wife is back on Fox with four hot new farmers looking for the love of their lives. But are these ladies ready to take on the farm life? And, you know, dating one woman has its challenges, but juggling five, these farmers are going to have their hands full. Don't miss the all new season of Farmer Wants a Wife Thursday on Fox.

[Natalie]

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[Ben]

Some would say the only way is way.

[Natalie]

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[Ben]

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[Natalie]

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[Ben]

L L introducing a new well Being Podcast from Audible Self Conscious with Chrissy Teigen A safe space to embrace the twists and turns of personal growth one conversation at a time. Join the inquisitive and always entertaining Chrissy each week as she explores the cutting edge of well being with a leading expert in their field. Digging into powerful concepts and sharing practical tools for everyday life. Featuring in depth conversations with best selling authors like Mel Robbins, Nedra Glover, twab, Adam Grant and Gabby Bernstein, Self Conscious with Chrissy Teigen invites listeners to life changing new skill sets alongside Chrissy and discover powerful new ways of understanding ourselves. Whether you're new to the world of well being or a longtime traveler, keep your journey going and growing with Chrissy Self Conscious with Chrissy Teigen the new Wellness podcast from Audible. Expand your self awareness, gain valuable insights and become more self conscious. New episodes drop each week. Go to audible.com chrissy podcast or wherever you get your podcast and start listening to Today. The V House is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing a budgeting game? Well with the name your price tool from Progressive you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates prices and coverage Match limited by state law. Not available in all states. You like to cook?

[Barbie]

I do like to cook.

[Ben]

I love to cook. I'm the. I'm the cooker in the fam. She's my shoe chef.

[Barbie]

I like to cook. If I don't like to clean, that's my problem, you know, I don't like either. I love to cook. I'll cook if someone else cleans.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Barbie]

If everyone cleans up, all.

[Ben]

I would. I would love that. So we do a good job of separating chores.

[Barbie]

Oh, I love that. It's always my problem when I'm booed up.

[Ben]

Yeah, you gotta.

[Barbie]

I've Learned it's like 90 of the relationship.

[Ben]

Oh, my God.

[Barbie]

Chores.

[Ben]

Young me was like, love is enough, and I can just power through anything, you know, it's just like, you can have a completely different menu and. And we can have different tastes and everything if we love each other enough. Yeah. And, like, being in a relationship with Natalie more than anything has taught me just, like, relationships are hard enough. Every day can't be a battle, you know, picking what you want to eat, what who does what, you know? And so, like, I can't. I'm allergic to laundry. Natalie loves it. Natalie's allergic to doing dishes. I can do dishes. You know, I love to cook. I won't even let her cook sometimes.

[Barbie]

I don't let anyone cook.

[Ben]

I'm more like, you're doing it wrong.

[Barbie]

Move.

[Ben]

Move.

[Barbie]

I grew up in a culinary family. My mom's a chef and my aunt's a chef. Chef. And I didn't really know how to cook until a few years ago. So I. As soon as that.

[Ben]

What's your favorite? Yeah, do you have, like, a go to Recently?

[Barbie]

I make a really good chicken thigh. Recently, I've been really doing a really good chicken thigh.

[Ben]

I love a thigh because most people go breast.

[Barbie]

No.

[Ben]

And it's just like, dark meat, you.

[Barbie]

Know, we got you bone in skin on thigh. You got to sear it, and then you take it out, and then you make, like, a little sauce, put it in the oven. You would do a little lemon, some capers, anchovies, maybe.

[Natalie]

Oh, my God.

[Barbie]

Yeah, why not?

[Natalie]

Oh, my God.

[Barbie]

It's so yummy. I also made. Oh, yummy. Like mushroom gravy on something. But it was. It was good. I love to make, like. I just, like, love to cook. So if I see something that I like, I make a really good salmon too.

[Natalie]

Is it easy for you to cook for, like, one person or are you like, guys, I'm cooking. Everyone come Over.

[Barbie]

I need everyone to come. I will not cook for myself. I literally can't do it. I just cannot do it. I'd rather cook for other people and myself than. I can't make myself a thing.

[Ben]

It's true. I mean like when I was, you know, in my single day and there was a lot of, a lot of years, I was like the single serving guy. You know, I'd go to the grocery store every day and I'd find like things that like would make sense. Like that's when I got into English. That's when I discovered the, the joy of an English muffin.

[Barbie]

Oh yeah.

[Ben]

Because I could also like make a burger.

[Barbie]

Yes.

[Ben]

And then use it as a bun.

[Barbie]

Yes.

[Ben]

But like, you know, before, as a single serving guy, if you just buy like a bag of buns, like you use one bun and it goes bad. But an English muffin you can put in the fridge, it keeps a little longer. And I would have all these like single serving tricks. Yeah. Like, and it was just like, but also kind of depressing that I figured out how to like, you gotta make.

[Barbie]

It look pretty, at least sustainably. Like shop for myself. I always like, if I make something really ugly, I just put a little herb on like some herbs, just a little chive on the top.

[Natalie]

So, so you're like an. It has to like plate.

[Barbie]

I like a good plate.

[Natalie]

So do I. I, I always feel bad because I'm, I like try to plate my 13 month old daughters like perfectly and she's like screaming, crying and I'm like just, honey, if I can just get this perfectly, just like mashing.

[Barbie]

It with her hands. I love that. That's so cute. It's a thought that counts. It is.

[Ben]

It is.

[Natalie]

She doesn't understand yet.

[Barbie]

She doesn't understand yet. But she will. She will.

[Natalie]

I've taken a photo of every one of her meals and she'll be like.

[Barbie]

A cute little plate.

[Ben]

They're very, they're, they're definitely her hands.

[Natalie]

Like in all of them. Like going for something in all the pictures.

[Barbie]

It's really cute. So cute. Speaking of girls, when I was in New York and I was, I was doing a play every night so I would come home at like 9 and I would literally just eat like pickles and like cheese and salami with crackers. Like for dinner I literally the girliest dinner and like some fruit and like just eating every like pickled thing that is in the fridge. That's random.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

Because it just like I would just come home so late and I'm Just like, this is like. I'm like, this is. I'm like 90% sodium at the moment. I could feel myself just, like, full of salt. I'm just like, how much salami?

[Natalie]

Wow, I am inflamed.

[Barbie]

Perfect. Maybe girl dinner. You know, maybe I should switch it up a little bit. Thankfully, now I'm back in my kitchen and I can make, like, you know, rounded balanced meals.

[Natalie]

But do you have, like, a go to meal? You do?

[Barbie]

Yes. I either do like, a sundubu, like a Korean soup. I do that a lot. But I'll order. I love Chinese food. I love, like, a good kung pao chicken. I love dung.

[Ben]

What's your order?

[Barbie]

I like the. The soup dumplings. I'll get the, like, broccoli and garlic sauce as yum, yum, yums. And then I'll have, like, rice. I usually just, like, really like the dumplings.

[Ben]

The dumplings.

[Barbie]

I'll just get, like, all the different. The pan fried ones, the steam ones. I'll take it all.

[Ben]

The rice cakes. You ever had the rice?

[Barbie]

I love a rice cake. I was just thinking about rice cakes the other day. I was like, can you do an H Mart and just get some rice cake?

[Ben]

Before we started recording, we were talking about our daughter, and you mentioned, oh, I just want a baby. Is that something, like, in the future you hope?

[Barbie]

Oh, yes. I, I. Every time someone has a baby, my first reaction is like, I want one too. Like, and I just, like, I. I feel like I grew up as an only child. I am the baby of the family, and I'm nearly 30. So, like, I had never really interacted with, like, a lot of kids growing up or in general. And so I never really thought about having kids until recently. And I think also everyone in my family has had a baby before 21, so I'm already like, I'm not gonna say I'm late. Like, everyone wanted me to not continue.

[Natalie]

That, like, being from the South.

[Barbie]

Yeah. Like, no one's. Like, no one was like, you should have a baby. Like, no one's impressing me to have a baby. This is all me. Like, okay. My mom's like, you should. Yeah, but maybe you need a relationship.

[Natalie]

She's not like, I want a grandbaby.

[Barbie]

She does, but she's just like, you need to, you know, she. She's like, you got to. You got to wait for the right one, you know? And, like, don't rush it. But I want a baby. Like, four, five years.

[Ben]

What love and dating relationships are we in a season of, like, Independence. Are we dating?

[Barbie]

Single era.

[Ben]

Single era.

[Barbie]

We are in a single era.

[Ben]

Do we love that? We.

[Barbie]

We like it. We like it. I think, you know, I saw a psychic. I didn't see a psychic. A psychic was at a party.

[Natalie]

It's on me.

[Barbie]

I saw psychic saw me. He asked for me specifically. I. I saw psychic last year, and he told me that I wasn't going to find love in 2024. So I'm like, maybe in 2025.

[Ben]

Okay. What did they. What did he say?

[Barbie]

Well, no, that. That was it. Your help. That's it. That's all you get?

[Ben]

You got.

[Barbie]

Yeah, yeah. It's just not this year. I'm like, okay, I'll take it. So I actually really live my life by that, even though I, I. It's kind of great. I'm like, I. I think I'm taking a break from dating our psychics.

[Ben]

Like, I.

[Barbie]

They.

[Ben]

They give. They make me nervous.

[Barbie]

They make me nervous.

[Ben]

I do not want to know right when I'm gonna die.

[Barbie]

They're not gonna tell you that.

[Ben]

But, yes, maybe they would. But. Yeah. There's something about psychics where it's just like, I don't. You. You.

[Barbie]

I don't. I happen to have seen a psychic at a party.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Barbie]

I have been to a psychic here and there, but I'm also wary of, like, the la. It all. Like, I'm very, like, I understand the spirit healers and the, you know, and the. And the crystals and Malibu and stuff. I get it. I get. I. I think it's fun, but, you know, I take it with a grain of salt. Yeah. It's not like what I.

[Natalie]

You know, Nick's sister saw one, and she said that the psychic said, the brother closest to you is going to have twins, and that's Nick.

[Barbie]

And I was like, oh, when are the twins happening, baby?

[Natalie]

My God.

[Ben]

My sister has twins. Her sister has twins. Still don't know how twins work.

[Barbie]

Is it genetic?

[Natalie]

I think it gives generation.

[Ben]

So. But I don't think it has anything to do with the guy right then, because maybe.

[Barbie]

Well, chromosomes make it.

[Natalie]

Well, I feel like y'all.

[Barbie]

Because it would have to, well, either, like, to be two sperms and.

[Ben]

Well, yeah, but usually there's a lot of those.

[Natalie]

Yeah, but you make it up all the way up to the egg.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah, but yet there either has to be one egg or one. I don't know.

[Barbie]

But there can be two eggs. Science podcasts are two different eggs. Correct. I mean, might be wrong, but that's what makes it's not identical. So they, I guess both eggs.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

What's crazy is my sister has twins and they are so identical that they're like fingerprint DNA is the same.

[Barbie]

Those are fascinating. Crazy. Imagine just having, like, a part of you in the world and you're just.

[Natalie]

Like, the exact same.

[Barbie]

Yeah. And like they're finishing each other's sentences. And like, that sounds so wonderful. Like you'll never, like. But it also, like, really sad because it's like you have like, this person. Person that is like, so part of you that, like, if you guys are not together, it's like. You know, I've heard like twins knowing when the other one is, like, hurt if they're not in the same place. It's like twins are. We need to study that science. Get on it.

[Ben]

What's in your single era? Having dated before.

[Barbie]

Yes, I have.

[Ben]

What's. What's something that you've, through previous experiences have learned that maybe things have. That you really are looking for in your. Whenever that happens for you next. And what's on something that while things maybe didn't work out in the past with whoever, you still really enjoyed and appreciate that aspect of the relationship that you hope to carry into your next relationship.

[Barbie]

Great question. I think what I learned about myself is that I'm a particular kind of girl and I'm not for everyone. You know what I mean? And not in a bad way, but just like, you know, my life is just. Just very. I think a lot of people don't really like that. They don't, like, like a. A woman who's, like, very, like, loud and, like, takes up a lot of space. And I just inherently do that because I grew up with a lot of women who do that. So, like, even as a kid, I was just like, you know, I. I never lived under, like, the scrutiny of, like, you know, the patriot voice in that vase. Yeah. Like, where it's like, oh, yeah, you have to be small. Like, you know, I mean, like, you have to like, you know, be like, choir and things. So I think a lot of people don't like that. I don't take it personally when they don't. And so. And also I need someone who's, like, very. Who's going to take care of me because I take care of a lot of people in a lot of ways. And I like, really need, like, someone who's going to really listen to me and be there for me. I am by no means, like, submissive wife vibes. You know what I mean? So it's like you know, some people. I've also learned with dating is that I just don't take it personal anymore. I'm just like, this. Or, you know, I'm just like, this is not working out. It's not because of me. I used to always blame me.

[Ben]

When did you learn that? Because that's, like, a huge step in, like, just adult life.

[Barbie]

Recently. Honestly, like, the past couple years, it's just been so. And of course, I get into a trap. I'm like, whoa, you know, like, what happened there? But then I'm like, wait, like, did I even like that person? Like, I also learned I'm. Do I want someone to like me or do I like them?

[Ben]

You know, that's such a huge step. I mean, I'll ask people all the time. They'll call if I have a friend who's asking, or someone calls in, they'll be like, you know, I want to talk to you about this. I'm like, well, how do you. What do you like about how they make you feel? It's always my favorite question.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Because sometimes or often there's always like, this, oh, well, how I. Oh, I never thought about how. How they made me feel. I just more thought about, like, why don't. Why haven't they text me back? Or why aren't they calling? Or, like, why are they being flaky on me? Like, why are they treating, like, why are they acting this way? And then immediately there's a thought like, I'm doing something wrong.

[Barbie]

Right.

[Ben]

What could I do differently? And things like that. But, like, it was funny that you just said not to, you know, moments ago, where you realize that you're not for everyone.

[Barbie]

No.

[Ben]

And, like, to me, like, that again, another, like, huge pivotal, like, at least for me was that, like, no one is, by the way.

[Barbie]

Yeah. I was saying, like, I'm hoping I'm, like, the one person who could get.

[Ben]

In the bio for everybody.

[Barbie]

Like, I'm here for every. Everyone will love me.

[Ben]

I'm like, yeah, no, you know, but that. That's the person who is people pleasing, who hasn't really realized who they are as a person and not even comfortable to be that person. That person you have to allow, whether it's dating, whether it's friendship, whether. It's just, like, being an adult in society is. Is having the guts to be who you are.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

And have people not like you, you.

[Barbie]

Know, and it's so freeing, you know, and I always admired that because when I was younger, I would just get so caught up and, like, what did I do wrong? And I'm like, probably a lot of stuff, but it's just, like, it doesn't really matter.

[Ben]

It's like, or not wrong. You just did something, and it just.

[Barbie]

Just wasn't for them.

[Ben]

They, you know, they don't vibe with you. Like, you. We. There's so many people out there. We're just like, not my cup of tea, and that's totally fine.

[Barbie]

And there's someone else's, like, you know, like, wow, this is like my dream person. And I also think a lot of people think that they know I am and they find out that that's not who I am. You know, I mean, like, people can. And I do that too. Like, I project personalities on people. I think I also had to stop doing that where it's like, you just start, like, kind of making these, like, love stories in your head. And I'm like, I'm going to a point in my life where I'm just. I'm just tired. I don't want to do all that anymore.

[Ben]

Do you find it to be easy or more difficult to date in the industry or outside of the industry?

[Barbie]

I have never really dated anyone in the industry. Just never have. You know, I. I think outside, I've dated a lot of people who are creative, but they're not, like, actors. I definitely, you know, that's not usually what I go for, but I'm open to anything, really. I'm, like, I'm. I really am open to anyone who is, like, kind and actually wants to, like, talk to me and, like, hang out with me and spend time with me and, like, communicate, you know? I dated women most of my life, so I'm like. The communication has always been really big, and so it's just, like. It's just. For me, it's. It's a lot. It's like, especially now I'm dating, like, a little bit more seriously. Like, I'm not just, like, oh, this is just, like, to be together. It's like, now it's more like, what do I want? I'm like, I want a baby in five years. You know, it's kind of getting. I'm. I'm like, I'm getting older. Like, this is just not as fun anymore. When. When it's just, like, crazy.

[Natalie]

Like, you feel like you have, like, a timeline over your head or.

[Barbie]

No, honestly, no, but I just. I. It's more of, like, a. A way to know. Like, sometimes I just don't know what I want, and I'll, like, meet someone. I'M like, okay, but this person's not really that. But then it could be this. I'm just like, actually, I do know what I want, and I just have to be, like, confident enough to just be like, this is like, I do want commitment.

[Ben]

It's tough, right? Like, you know, like, me, younger me was more like, what I wanted was somebody, and I wanted somebody who wanted me. And that was kind of the baseline for most people.

[Barbie]

Anyone who wants to be with me, sure.

[Ben]

And then. And then you get older and you have relationships and heartbreak. You break up, and then you. That. That transitional period of knowing what you want for yourself, knowing and then what you want to give to someone else, and then having the patience to wait around for it. Suck.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Like, it's.

[Barbie]

The patience is hard.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

But it's also, like, once you're in the relationship, it's. It's so much work, you know, it's not like you think it's like, relationships are just going to, like, save you. And it's. Then, you know, I was in a serious relationship for three years, and it was great. And then after, you know, it was, you know, still great. It was just either single or in a relationship. It's like you kind of fantasize about the opposite of it. You're like, oh, if I was single, like, I wouldn't have this. Or, like, if I'm. Or like, you know, if I was in a relationship, I'll have someone to go with me. But it's like, I just kind of, like, don't even think about it anymore in that way because I just know that I'm getting pickier as I get older and more intentional with stuff. And I never even knew what I liked. Like, I would just, like, if someone was, like, showed interest in me, I'd be like, hype. You know, I'm like, yeah, it's like, for a long time in my life, and now it's a little bit more, you know, a little more discernment in that.

[Ben]

Yeah, it's a. I had to figure out there was a point before I met Natalie where, when I was in my 20s, it was, you know, my parents were good role models. But the problem sometimes, the problem I have with the good role models is, like, my parents tell me love is important and you have to fight for it. So it was like, oh, okay, well, then I'll just fight for this, you know, kind of thing, you know, And.

[Barbie]

But sometimes I didn't really want to.

[Ben]

You know, I didn't need to do that. So then and then I got older and I was like, okay, you know, I finally figured out who I was in my late 20s, early 30s, and then took some risks and, and, and had a, you know, did reality tv. And that was all kind of weird. But then, you know, so then I had this stint of reality TV and this controlled environment where they almost like, make you feel like you're young again and it's all about these emotions. And then. So then I was dating. It was more like I honestly, like, there was a point where in my 30s, I was honestly worried. And I thought to myself, do I just need to pick somebody?

[Barbie]

Yeah, do.

[Ben]

Like, you know, like, you'll. Anybody, you know, like, we get along. Yeah, I guess this could work. You seem nice enough. You're. You're obviously beautiful, but, like, there's a part of me was like, am I too cynical? Am I looking for flaws? Am I looking, you know, and finding that balance between the person who, like, knows who they are and is. Can be patient, but, or, or, or am I looking for problems? Am I being avoidant or things like, confusing. Yeah. And I, And I really struggle with that. And I mean, I remember having those. I remember I saying to my therapist, like, do I just need to do this? Like, because, Because I was afraid I wasn't going to fall in love. Because, like, when I was younger, you're just like, oh, I just. I don't know what this feeling is. I think we should date, you know?

[Barbie]

Right.

[Ben]

And I couldn't replicate that feeling unless I was in this controlled environment. Environment, you know, on a TV show. And I was like, I don't. You're looking for that thing, you know, and does that.

[Barbie]

Does anyone exist with that thing?

[Ben]

Yeah. It can be a very scary feeling.

[Barbie]

It's super scary. I totally feel you. I feel like it's very confusing. It's also like, you have to choose to. Just like, you have to really choose to be there every day. It's like a very active decision. So if something's not working out, it can be like, so hard to just, like, choose to be there, decide to, like, fix it. And then you. You have to know when to walk away. But it's also. I don't think there is a clear cut. There's no like, oh, you guys should break up or not. It's more like, what do. Do you see for yourself?

[Ben]

Yeah. No one's like, I broke up with them on the exact perfect day at the right time. You're always going to wonder one way or the other. You just kind of have to trust you always.

[Barbie]

You have to trust yourself. For me, I always just think about, like, do I want to live my life like this? You know what I mean? Do I want to feel this way every day? If it's yes, then I'll continue. But if no, like, if I literally am like, this can't happen anymore, and it's been enough time where we've talked about it, then it's like, okay, then I made decision for myself.

[Ben]

If I feel bad now, but, like, is this. Is this the norm?

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Or is this something that is happening now, but, like, we can go come. If this gets, you know, the. The normal feeling with this person or this relationship generally brings me joy and happiness, but right now, yeah, you know, need a fix, which happens.

[Barbie]

I mean, that's with any kind of relationship.

[Ben]

A lot of people, it's more the opposite. It's just like, I, you know, you ask them and they're like, I've been miserable for three years.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

You know, like, but we've been together for eight years. I can't just throw it away. It's been eight years.

[Barbie]

You'll think it's like a really big, like, like, celebration. Like, oh, we've been together forever, which is great. But it's also like, are you hanging on to something that is truly not serving a purpose in your life that, like, is actually serving you? You know, I mean, it's. Yeah.

[Ben]

What's your love language?

[Barbie]

I like. I like a lot of quality time and actually, you know what words of affirmation. Big, big words of affirmation kind of girl. Yeah, I love it. I like to hear good things. I like to make sure that you tell me. Like, I like to be told, you know, and comforted in that way.

[Ben]

So when you're not cooking, working, making movies, like, what. What. What are your guilty pleasures where you just kind of check out and. And really kind of so many things into.

[Barbie]

I've started knitting recently and I've been knitting and I've been watching a lot of, like, either true crime podcasts, which is like, very my mom. Very my mom, or I'll watch, like, I watch the stupidest stuff. It's actually crazy. I was watching like, like, the Beast games and like, you know, stuff like that. So, you know, I mean, it's like, so fun to, like, when I want to, like, take a load off, I will truly get into brain rot in a big way. So a lot of that I like, you know, I was really into MILF Manor at one point.

[Ben]

Manor. Wow.

[Barbie]

Love man. Milf banner love milfman.

[Ben]

Is that the one Peter did?

[Natalie]

I believe so. That's with like, the older.

[Barbie]

The older ladies. And the. The first season was like, with the younger. Yeah, that.

[Ben]

My. My.

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Natalie]

But then they brought in the.

[Barbie]

They brought in the. The like.

[Natalie]

Was it the dads and sons?

[Barbie]

Yes, Peter, our friend.

[Ben]

Friend show ran that.

[Barbie]

Oh, my God. It's truly an incredible piece of. I actually think it's like, it's amazing. And whenever I tell people about it, they're like, what does that mean? I'm like, MILF, man. Are the MILFs and the sons okay? And they're like.

[Ben]

But not a porn.

[Barbie]

No, but they clearly know what's trending. You know what I mean? And that is smart. And it's really smart. Yeah. So I like to watch that. I like to have my friends. I.

[Ben]

Have you knitted anyone a sweater?

[Barbie]

No. I'm right now in the phase of knitting, like bandanas for my dog and cat.

[Natalie]

We're starting small.

[Barbie]

We're starting very small. It's very hard to knit, actually. And I've been like, really getting into, like, the knit community around here. I go to, like, the small business. It's so cute, this yarn shop. Shop and like, everyone there, it's like so much yarn is beautiful. And like, people, like, they have like, classes there. They like, talk to you about knitting. I'm just like, I feel like I'm inducted into some sort of society. It's great, sisters. It's fun. It's so cute. Everyone has, like, their cute little knits, you know?

[Ben]

I was like, do you have like, what are you gonna knit when you really feel like you've got it down?

[Barbie]

I think like a dress. I want to make like a little halter top dress I used when I was a kid. I used to have a crochet string bikini. And by kid, I mean like 2 years old because my great grandma knitted it for me or crocheted it for me. And so I kind of want to recreate it. I've been starting to, like, kind of recreate the bikini, but it's really hard. So I just keep just making squares and triangles really.

[Ben]

And do you knit and watch tv?

[Barbie]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Okay. Yeah. My. My. My grandmother Phyllis, still with us, was a. She would. I used to live with like one time. My then girlfriend at the time broke up and I was in my. We were engaged actually, but like, so we were living together. Had to move out. Well, I had to move out. I wanted to get the fuck out of, uh. And then My grandmother, who I only refer to as Phyllis because when I was born, she was like 50 and she's like, I'm not ready to be a grandmother.

[Barbie]

I love that.

[Ben]

And she lived downtown where, you know, in the city I lived in. And I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here. So I like, I like had to shame. Shamefully what felt at the time, like live with my grandma.

[Barbie]

So cute.

[Ben]

Which ended up being like a great time because she's a night owl and she. I would go out to the bars, hang out with my friends and come back. It'd be like 2 in the morning. She's up knitting, watching TV.

[Barbie]

That's so mean.

[Ben]

We would like download the night, you know, and I would talk about like my nights and things like that and end up being like just a very memorable.

[Barbie]

I love it. I'm a grandma girl. Like, my grandma raised me basically. My mom was in school and like worked at a restaurant, so I barely saw her. But my grandma raised me. I'm like such a grandma's girl. Like my grandma and I are like very close.

[Natalie]

Was that hard for you when she went back to Brazil?

[Barbie]

Yes. I was 18, so I had. As soon as I moved out of the house, she was like, I'm out, I'm gone, I'm gone. It was really hard. I just saw her over the holidays when I was in New York and it was really sweet. But yeah, it was really hard to.

[Ben]

Get back to Brazil much.

[Barbie]

I've been going more recently. I went last year. I went to Rio for work. And then my mom, I like to go to Bahia, which is like my favorite place in Brazil. It's so. It's like so wonderful. It's like there's like a beach and just gorgeous. And I'm just like. But it's so far. It's like truly like a 25 hour journey of like many planes and. And drives and all sorts of things. But it's worth it. I. If I go, I stay for a while. So it's like really nice. Yeah.

[Ben]

Here it's a.

[Barbie]

It's like little monkeys everywhere. It is like, you know, it's like, it's truly so it's like a little like storybook. It's like my mom will send me videos when she's there. And she's just like, the monkeys are stealing my fruit, you know, and they're like tiny little, cute like little monkeys. And like there's giant sloths everywhere. I'm like, this is in mud roads. It's so cool. It's so cool.

[Ben]

What is next for you? Like, what in the perfect world world? Do you have a dream job, a dream type of film, or even maybe a particular actor out there that you've always kind of maybe fascinated or dreamt about working with?

[Barbie]

Wow. Manifestation time. Yeah, I think I've done a lot of contemporary stuff. Like, a lot of the things I've done, even the films that haven't come out yet, which, you know, I think this year a couple of them will come out. I really want to make something that's kind of like a period piece. Like, I really want to, you know, step outside of just, like, the 2010s, 2020s, and just.

[Ben]

Is there a particular period that fascinates you the most?

[Barbie]

I feel like I would do pretty good in, like, the 20. Like, like, not like, super pure, but, like, 20s and like, maybe, like, 40s or something.

[Ben]

That's a great.

[Barbie]

Yeah, I feel like that's like, you know, like, kind of like the kind of, like, boudoir, like, pinup, kind of like, just like a lot of. I think that would be really cool. I mean, I'm open to whatever it is, but I think that'd be really nice. And I think, you know, my favorite actress is, like, Kate Blanchett. Like, that. Like, obviously, it would be my dream, I think.

[Natalie]

Is there anyone in history that you would do, like, about biopic on.

[Barbie]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

[Ben]

Who?

[Barbie]

Oh, God. Let's see. Well, the thing is, like, people are very picky with that because they're like, you don't look like this person. I'm like, but what if I have prosthetics? Yeah.

[Natalie]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

I'm like, the world. If the penguin can happen with prosthetics and if people. You know, there was, like, the Tammy Faye with Jessica Chassis. I'm like, probably Colin Farrell can play the Penguin, literally, with so much prosthetics. Come on now. Why can't I play insert name here? Yeah. I don't know exactly who I would play. I feel like it was no one.

[Natalie]

That you're, like, specifically drawn to from history that you're like. That would just be an interesting.

[Barbie]

Like, I am fascinated by, like, actresses of the past who kind of, you know, I really love the theatrics of, like, you know, kind of old Hollywood. So. Yeah, I don't know. I would say maybe I shouldn't say.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Barbie]

But I am working on something that may or may not happen about someone of that name nature. So that's why I'm like. I don't know I think of someone else and I was like maybe I should. No, not yet. Okay. Okay. But yeah, we'll see.

[Ben]

We'll see. Well, Barbie, this has been so much fun.

[Barbie]

Thank you for having me.

[Ben]

This is so fun to talk to.

[Barbie]

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

[Ben]

I could keep going but I know you have to get going, so.

[Barbie]

Listen, she's busy.

[Ben]

Thank you for taking the time. This has been so much fun. Congratulations on a very beautiful movie everyone. Check it out. Bob Trevino likes it and where March.

[Barbie]

21St in select theaters in New York, LA and then March 28th, 8th and other theaters. Check it out.

[Ben]

It's a great friend film. It's a great film. You go with your family. It it, you know you will be emotional but like it really.

[Barbie]

Most of my other work is not very family friendly. So this is the family friendly one.

[Ben]

Very family friend. You will, you will want to watch, you'll see this film and you will want to connect with people afterwards and I think that's a very beautiful thing that we all need today. So.

[Barbie]

Oh thank you guys.

[Natalie]

Thank you.

[Ben]

Thanks so much. So much fun to have with you. See you guys tomorrow. Bye. The Val House is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing a budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates prices and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all all states with T Mobile. No trendspotter has to deal with Trendspotty service because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network switch. Now keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off up to 800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com backslash keepandswitch up to 4 lines of your virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualified unlock device credit service port in 90 plus days device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required card is no cash access expires in six months.

[Barbie]

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[Natalie]

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[Barbie]

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