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- [00:00]
Miranda
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- [00:20]
Taylor
No Trendspotter has to deal with Trendspotty service because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to.
- [00:26]
Miranda
Right where you are On America's largest.
- [00:28]
Taylor
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- [01:03]
Miranda
Miranda. Welcome to the Vile Files.
- [01:05]
Taylor
Thank you. Thank you for having me.
- [01:07]
Miranda
We are very excited to talk with you. I feel like it's been a long time coming.
- [01:11]
Taylor
It has.
- [01:12]
Miranda
I've.
- [01:13]
Taylor
Years in the making.
- [01:14]
Miranda
Years in the making. I actually, when. When the whole swinging scandal came out on the Internet, I'm pretty sure, like I DM'd you on TikTok. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, we gotta get you on. I know at that point you had.
- [01:29]
Taylor
Some traumas to work through back then.
- [01:30]
Miranda
You're like, a couple years.
- [01:32]
Taylor
Yeah, just give me some time. Give me some years and some therapy under my belt and then we can talk about it.
- [01:36]
Miranda
Yeah. You were definitely giving different energy than Taylor at the time.
- [01:40]
Taylor
Oh, for sure. Yeah.
- [01:41]
Miranda
Who was obviously out there being. Being Taylor, being, you know, gotta respect her true self and putting out the story. What was that whole experience like? Oh, like when it first, like dropped.
- [01:56]
Chase
Like, did you just get on TikTok one day to scroll and then you saw Taylor's post?
- [02:00]
Taylor
Well, she went live first. So it was. I had multiple people calling me and messaging me and they're like, are you seeing Taylor's live? And at this point, this was, I want to say, like two, three weeks after our fallout. So it wasn't like right away. So Taylor and I weren't really speaking at the time. And so when I get on, I'm like, oh, oh, oh, okay. Yeah. Very jarring. Even Taylor, I don't think expected it to be what it was. I think the way that she thought about it in her mind was just Giving more context to something that, you know, she never. I think when you hear that she cheated and she had an affair, obviously her mind is going to a place of, you know, a lot of shame where she feels like there was more context that kind of led to that, that I think, I don't know, I just helped people understand it a little bit more. And you know, we've talked about that now, but I understand like her reasoning for wanting to give that side of it. I just think. I just wish maybe that she would have done it a different way. And I think even now looking back, I think she probably would have maybe done it a different way too. But I mean, we're here now, so.
- [03:13]
Miranda
Yeah, we are here now. So from your perspective, there were rumors about just Taylor and her relationship amongst your community, which prompted her to want to like, tell the whole story of the whole swinging situation.
- [03:28]
Taylor
Well, the, the affair had gotten out at that point and so I, I guess people were commenting that she had cheated on her husband. And so I think that was a really triggering thing for her because she felt like there was a lot of context that was necessary that like, led her to that point.
- [03:48]
Chase
What was the state of your and Chase's relationship when Taylor went live, when all this started coming out?
- [03:55]
Taylor
It's so interesting because I want to say, like, oh, like we were in a good place, but then I feel like it was as, as far as like surface level good goes, you know what I mean? Like, we had already obviously had issues. You don't really end up in a situation like that if you don't have issues. But I feel like they weren't like a day to day type of issue. And so I think it was kind of those problems that we had in our relationship was the kind were masked by a lot. And so I felt like on the surface like we were, we were good and the issues were also like issues that we had kind of always had. Like what I think one thing, for example, is like, I just felt like our communication wasn't like, great a lot of the time. And I feel like Chase is a very passionate person and a very emotional person, and that's for better or for worse. And I think that he, he has big feelings and, and I think that that really serves him as far as being a father goes because he is very passionate about our children and very supportive and one of the biggest like, hype men you'll ever meet. But at the same time, because he's so passionate, he can also get, he can be very like, easily triggered he can be. Have a short fuse. And that was one thing that was, like, very, like, touch and go. And he was hot and cold in that sense throughout our relationship. But I feel like, again, that was kind of. It wasn't something that was so at the forefront just because it was kind of always a reality in our relationship. And at the time when everything came out too, like, we weren't really participating in anything at that point. We'd already had our fallout. Like I said, this is weeks later, so I don't know. I feel like we were just kind of adjusting to life without really having the same friend group that we had. Because I do think we spent way too much time together as friends. I think that the four of you, not the. Just like our. Our friend group. I mean, the four of us, too. I feel like we. I mean, people forget that Taylor and I were friends for five years, like, leading up to this, and nothing ever happened until toward the end. There was never, like, anything weird or it's very, like, we would get together and have, like, doordash nights, and our kids would hang out, and it was like a very seemingly normal friendship. And then I think toward the end of our friendship when we, like, had more couples that we were hanging out with and so on, and then we were drinking here and there, and I think that's when obviously, things took a turn. And I think a lot of that has to do with getting married so young. And.
- [06:17]
Miranda
Sure.
- [06:18]
Taylor
Your prefrontal cortex not being developed, but.
- [06:22]
Miranda
Or you just, like, have it horned up enough.
- [06:24]
Taylor
That too.
- [06:25]
Miranda
It's just like, you know.
- [06:26]
Taylor
Right. An experience for sure.
- [06:27]
Miranda
Yeah. More experience. I mean, the frontal lobe stuff, I think, is kind of more of like a. It's not like, you know, when we're 22, we can't think for ourselves.
- [06:34]
Taylor
Sure.
- [06:34]
Miranda
And things like that. But I think more. More realistically, like you said, it seems to be, like, lack of experience now more than ever. Right. Because 20, 30 years ago, before, like, hookup culture was what it is today, where everyone's just kind of out there and. And using sex positivity as a way to just kind of have sex with everybody, seemingly without consequences.
- [06:54]
Taylor
Right.
- [06:55]
Miranda
And yet when you're still connected to a very conservative church and organization where there's still a lot of taboos around sex and a lot of suppression, regardless of what's happening in the outside world, you know? You know, you guys are still, like, meeting at a very young age, getting married at a very young age. You were 20 when you got married to Chase. Right. So Like, I got to imagine it's must be difficult even in the Mormon community.
- [07:19]
Taylor
Right.
- [07:19]
Miranda
You know, because it's not like you guys are insulated in a bubble. You know, it's not like you're not interacting with even. Even Salt Lake City, I'm guessing, has people who aren't Mormon.
- [07:27]
Taylor
Yeah, it's actually predominantly not. Yeah.
- [07:30]
Miranda
Right. And so, you know, whether it's media, you know, get porn on the Internet, you know, you have all this access to these things while still trying to live this, you know, devout lifestyle. I can see how temptation enters into a relationship or a group of friends.
- [07:46]
Taylor
Yeah, I mean, you do. You have so much access to so many things, but you also have a lot of expectation. And I think that is a dangerous combination when you're involved in high demand religion because you, you know, you naturally, as every human does, has desires, temptations, and so on. And then when you have a social and religious expectation, it makes for difficult circumstances. For sure.
- [08:13]
Miranda
I mean, we've heard Taylor's version a long time ago, but from your point of view, how do these conversations unfold? Was it just more like we're all together having a doordash party and someone says, let's play spin the bottle when we're drunk, and then it kind of unravels from there?
- [08:29]
Taylor
It was never like, conversations that, like, led to this. It was. We were already all, like, hanging out, having. Having drinks, so on and so forth. Or maybe like, one of the guys would, like, dare me and Taylor to kiss or something like that. And then it was like, kind of from there, I guess, is what would lead to other things.
- [08:50]
Chase
After the first time that happened, did you go home with Chase and kind of have a conversation with your husband at that point and be like, okay, what did we think of that? That was. Was that fun for both of us? Was it weird for.
- [09:04]
Taylor
I know I've tried to remember this. If we have. I know we had conversations about it, but we. I think there's a lot of people that think that there were so many instances where, like, that would happen, and that wasn't really the case where there was. I mean, and there were other things that happened that, like, Chase and I weren't involved in. And. But as far as, like, him and I go, like, there wasn't like, these setup, like, swinging parties where everyone would get together and swing. Like, that's not the way that it happened.
- [09:35]
Miranda
No pineapples on different lawns.
- [09:36]
Taylor
Right? No keys in a bowl. Yeah, yeah. No. And in fact, it's funny because there's so many things that I've found out about, like, the swinging world that I'm like, that's a thing. I didn't even know there were apps that people could use to swing. So I'm like, I don't know, maybe I make a bad swinger. Um, but yeah, I think that there were definitely conversations that were had. I think for me, I was very, very firm with the things that maybe other couples had done that, like, I was not interested in doing that. And that's something I told Taylor as well. Like the first time that anything further than kissing had happened with her and another couple, she came over and we were talking and I told her or she asked me, she's like, is that anything that you and Chase would ever be interested in doing? And. And I was like, I mean, I'll be honest. The only way I would be interested in doing that with anyone, any of the other couples is if the other husband was someone like Michael B. Jordan. And unfortunately, that's not the case. So, yeah, I mean, I feel like we did have conversations, but I also. There wasn't really like a sit down of. These are like strict line, strict boundaries. Because it wasn't like a. It was never like, this is like a world we're going to explore. It wasn't like we want to be swingers. It was just kind of circumstances we were like, we got ourselves into and then, like, things would happen and then maybe like afterwards we're like, oh, like, that was kind of weird.
- [11:00]
Chase
Is that something you regret not doing?
- [11:02]
Taylor
Oh, for sure. I mean, I think I regret pretty much anything that happened, to be honest. But also, I think that there's a lot that I've learned from it. And, you know, in some weird, twisted way, I think that there's a level of gratitude that I have for it now.
- [11:19]
Miranda
Yeah. Is. Is the regret more centered around people knowing? And here we are having, you know, been two years remove, and obviously it's her first time talking to you and it's just a relevant topic given the show that you're on. And this is it centered around more shame and the fear of, you know. Yeah, the fear that this will always kind of follow you is like a scarlet letter. Or is the regret, you know, more around. Maybe my marriage wouldn't have fallen apart had we not partaken in this type of activity.
- [11:52]
Taylor
The swinging had nothing to do with my divorce.
- [11:53]
Miranda
Okay.
- [11:54]
Taylor
I don't think that played a role in the slightest, actually. So I think there were other issues that led to that being more of an okay thing, I guess, in our mind, in the. In the. At the time. But for me, I think back then, for sure, I think shame was a big part of it, because now, like, I mean, obviously I can talk about it openly. I feel like I've worked through a lot. I have regret for the way that I handled it. I also think. I mean, at the time, I was going through a faith crisis that I. No one knew about. So I think then that happening, I'm, like, also dealing with having to confront that with my family on top of everything else. Right. And his family as well, our friends that were Mormon. It was a lot. So I think shame was a big part of it. But to be honest, I think the biggest part was not really being true to myself. There were a lot of instances that I knew that I was uncomfortable, and I, like, didn't really. I wished I would have, like, been more firm in certain boundaries. The, like, cabin party where we played Spin the Bottle, that was. We were staying there for two nights, and I made up an excuse that my nanny had something come up, and I went home. I didn't stay the second night. Chase stayed there. And I just told them that I had to get home to the kids because I just woke up feeling, like, so sick to my stomach. And I was like, that was just, like, not me. And I think that was, like. What was hard for me is that I was just like, I'm acting out of character. And that's not me saying that anybody made me do anything. But I think that's exactly it, is that I knew that. That's, like, you know, on me.
- [13:30]
Miranda
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I mean, obviously, like, what you guys partook in is untraditional kind of relationship.
- [13:36]
Taylor
Right, Right.
- [13:37]
Miranda
It's not for everybody. No, I suppose. So, like, if you were to try it, like, there's might be a lot of people who might go, oh, that was. I was into that.
- [13:45]
Taylor
Yeah.
- [13:45]
Miranda
That was a fun thing. They discover a kink they're into, and other people might be, like, you know what? Tried it. I'm good, you know.
- [13:53]
Taylor
Right.
- [13:54]
Miranda
Like, even some people who might, like, be confused about their sexuality and maybe they. They make out with someone of the same sex out of pure curiosity, only to be like, I guess. Yes, I'm in fact, straight.
- [14:05]
Taylor
Yes, exactly.
- [14:06]
Miranda
And other people might realize that they really enjoy that experience and dive a little deep.
- [14:11]
Taylor
Totally.
- [14:11]
Miranda
Yeah. So that. That. That makes a lot of sense.
- [14:13]
Chase
After that cap and party, was that the last time you and Chase partook in any of that? Or was it. Did you continue after you had felt uncomfortable?
- [14:22]
Taylor
I think that was it. There was only two times where we ever, like, kissed anyone. And there was one other instance that I don't remember if it was before or after. That was, like, it was like, me. They just blindfolded me and Taylor. It's all still kind of a drunken blur, to be honest, but they blindfolded me and Taylor, and, like, we kissed a few people. And that was, like. That was either the last time or right before that time. But those were the only two instances where I ever did anything with anyone aside from my husband. And I think that's another thing is a lot of people think that. That, like, we were all just, I don't know, having crazy orgies and giving blow jobs. And I'm like, no, I kissed some people. Weird, for sure. Embarrassing. Absolutely. But I don't think it's what people really thought it was. And I think that's why I responded in the way that I did. Just because when Taylor initially came out on her live, she said that everyone was hooking up with everyone. And so my, Like, I was like, that's not what happened. And so I think that's why I kind of was like, no, I was not involved because I wasn't involved in, like, the sense that I feel like it was being portrayed.
- [15:32]
Miranda
Yeah.
- [15:32]
Taylor
And things. So I think I, like, justified it in that sense. But what I wish I would have done and said, no, like, I wasn't involved in that. That's not what happened. Like, this is what happened. But obviously, it wasn't really something I ever would have come out with. So I, you know, with Taylor, she had kind of, like, thought through what she was gonna say, you know, what the narrative was going to be. And so I was just kind of, like, scrambling, and I'm like, how do I handle this? Because this looks so bad. And even. Even the truth of the matter is still, like, weird and uncomfortable. So I'm like, I still feel like I didn't even want to be honest. What actually did happen.
- [16:09]
Miranda
Yeah.
- [16:10]
Taylor
And I. You know, looking back, obviously, I wish that I would have.
- [16:14]
Miranda
But I think when Taylor has put out there that, like, couples were having sex, like, with each other, around other couples. Is that something that happened that was.
- [16:25]
Taylor
Only around, like, Tate and Taylor for us, and it, like, happened, I think, once in Park City, and then, like.
- [16:32]
Miranda
They were having sex. Well, with, like, an audience.
- [16:35]
Taylor
No, no, no, no, no. It was like, you, like, just in the same room with your partner.
- [16:39]
Miranda
Okay.
- [16:40]
Taylor
So it was like, you and Chase.
- [16:41]
Chase
Are having sex, but we're not. No one's watching, and they're having sex on a bed in the same room.
- [16:45]
Taylor
Yes. Like something like that. Yeah. So it wasn't. It wasn't like we're spectating.
- [16:49]
Miranda
Okay. But like, I guess in a way, you guys could see each other if you want.
- [16:55]
Taylor
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And again, I think, like, that. And that's another thing for sure, that it's like, oh, yeah. Like, weird, but also like, not hooking up with other people's partners.
- [17:05]
Miranda
It seems like, you know, Taylor, we've really enjoyed getting to know her and enjoyed interviewing with her and getting to watch the season. Like, you know, it seems like Taylor is a very dynamic person who will say things. There's a lot of truth to what they're saying, but they're vague enough to allow people to run with theories.
- [17:23]
Taylor
Yes. And I think that's exactly what happened. Yeah.
- [17:26]
Miranda
Do you think that's intentional on Taylor's part, or do you think that's just a product of Taylor? You know, she's been very vulnerable about having her own demons and her own issues she's working through. And do you think it's just a product of her just, you know, very sometimes messy, figuring her own life out at the. Sometimes the sacrifice of other people's being involved?
- [17:51]
Taylor
Both. Both, Yes. I think that. I do think that there is an aspect for Taylor where I think she genuinely, in some circumstances, does want to kind of, like, hide other people's identities for certain, and not just. I'm not just speaking in this situation. I mean, you know, like, Taylor's great at a screen grab. Like, she. She's great at getting people's attention and, like, you know, posting those clout videos that they get a lot of traction. She's great at that, great at marketing herself. And she knows what works. She knows what she's doing. Right. And I think most of the time when she's posting videos, that's kind of the approach. But I do think, like, in. In real life, I think sometimes she will kind of try to, like, identities or be vague to, like, save other people's feelings, but. And I think it's unintentional the way it comes off, because I don't. I mean, she can't really, like, expect every theory that people are going to come up with, but I do think when it comes to an online sense, I think that she does kind of have an idea of, like, which direction it could go or be hopeful or at least have, like, a few different avenues. And then, you know, I think especially with the swinging thing, people ran with a ton of different avenues, like, things that they didn't expect. I know with your podcast, there were some things that she said as well, that, like, people were taking what she said and having theories.
- [19:13]
Miranda
Like, can you remind me? Because that was such a long time ago.
- [19:15]
Taylor
Yeah, I think. I think with the way she spoke about what happened with her and the guy that she had an affair with, and obviously, like, I. I feel like I still don't know, like, all the details surrounding that. Like, the. The actual details surrounding that.
- [19:30]
Miranda
And that wasn't Chase.
- [19:32]
Taylor
No.
- [19:32]
Miranda
Okay.
- [19:33]
Taylor
No, that wasn't Chase, but, like, just some. Some things that. Some comments that she had made on that. I think a lot of people were assuming different things that I. I still. I, like, I can't really speak honestly whether it was true or not, because I wasn't there.
- [19:45]
Miranda
Like, what were those things?
- [19:46]
Taylor
Like, the. The assault, like that that people are running with? And I. Obviously, if that's the case, like, that is awful and, like, makes me sick. But I also am like, you know, in her mind, she was like, oh, that wasn't what I was trying to say at all. She's like, I. I did not think that people would. Would think that that's, like, what happened. She's like, that's not what I think happened. But again, like, then you, like, you hear the story and you're like, oh, I could see why people would think that that's what happened. And so I think obviously that's nothing I would speak on, just because I, you know, I don't know, but I like the situations like that. For example, you know, people can run with quite literally anything. But I do think Taylor is very good at posting online videos, knowing what works, and I think she can get a good read and a good feel for what people will kind of assume. And I think maybe there was a level to that with the. With her live, but I also think that there's a level to that, that she didn't expect it to become what it was.
- [20:43]
Chase
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- [21:12]
Miranda
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- [21:24]
Chase
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- [21:31]
Miranda
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- [22:01]
Chase
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- [22:29]
Miranda
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- [23:04]
Chase
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- [23:49]
Miranda
Like you mentioned before, you and Taylor were friends for years before any of this, and there clearly was a falling out. How did the falling out really happen from your perspective? And I guess, yeah, like, how were you able to reconcile or did you even reconcile before you decided to join the show?
- [24:09]
Taylor
We didn't. Well, okay, this is what's hard is that Taylor and I, obviously, we live in the same area. Like, we had kind of ran into each other here and there, and I thought we were like, okay. And then she posted a video about a podcast that I had done. I said something about how I wasn't going to do the show. What was it? It was something along the lines of how I wasn't gonna do the show because of Taylor. But I said that it wasn't a right fit for my family at the time and what people didn't really know. It's like, how bad my marriage was struggling at this point. I mean, had I done season one, it would have been my divorce, and I would have been very difficult for myself and for my kids. And that was the biggest reason. But also, to me, I'm like, it's. I don't feel like it's a secret that, like, Taylor and I weren't good and there was still a lot of hurt there. So it didn't make sense for me to put myself in a position at the time where I just didn't know if I could really do that.
- [25:08]
Miranda
So you were offered the opportunity to join the first season?
- [25:12]
Taylor
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From. From the beginning, I mean, they had approached Camille and I and Taylor.
- [25:17]
Miranda
Okay.
- [25:17]
Taylor
And we had plenty of calls about it. I think another thing that people think is that it was like when. When I had said, oh, like, maybe I'll consider if Taylor's not on. The reason I said that was because this was during, like, the arrest where they didn't know if she could be on or not. But it was never, like, pick me or Taylor. Like, obviously, Taylor's the obvious choice. I'm like, I am, like, self aware enough to know that and she makes great tv. So I. It was never that. It was like, oh, if Taylor's not, then maybe I'll consider it.
- [25:44]
Miranda
But even. Even if you did at, wouldn't it be understandable if you were not wanting to be around Taylor?
- [25:51]
Taylor
Right. And that's exactly it, is that I'm like, I haven't tried to hide that. Like, I'm very. I feel like I've been pretty forthcoming about the fact that I'm like, we weren't good. I don't think a lot of people want to be around people that maybe make them feel, like, uncomfortable or so on. And then again, like, the. The marriage, stuff like that played a huge role too. And ultimately I wasn't gonna know, like, whether I needed to make the decision before I knew, like, what the verdict with Taylor was going to be. So my ultimate decision was not based on that. Yeah, I did. Did that podcast. And she was upset because I had said that I decided to ultimately decided that it didn't feel like the right fit for my family. And she was under the impression also we weren't speaking at the time. So this was all going through, like, management stuff and like, things that our management, her management, my management, like, our kind of conversing about. So it's not even me and Taylor having this conversation. And she had heard that I turned it down because I didn't want to do, like, be around her and didn't want to do it because of her, which I'm also like, yeah, but again, it wasn't like the soul. Yeah, the sole purpose. And she posted a video about it. And so I thought we were like, okay. And then she posted that video and it was very, like, I was. Was so shocked and taken back, I.
- [27:08]
Miranda
Was like, wait, what was the video?
- [27:10]
Taylor
Oh, I would actually love to find it. I think it was like, it was some sort of, like, voiceover something, I think at first, because then I reply, posted a video as, like, a response, which is like, very unlike me. Like, throughout, like, all the swinging stuff, everything. It's like you took the bait. I. Oh, I took the bait. At that point, I was like, I'm just. Because I think that time felt very during, like, the swinging stuff. I'm like, I know, like, she's mad at me. There's like, tensions are high. But I also was just like, not okay mentally during that time. And it was hard for me to do anything on social media. I'm not really one to, like, do a lot of, like, petty back and forth videos. And I. And like, again, like, Taylor's really good at it. It's something that she has pretty much always been good at. I mean, that's why, like, she gained a following in the first place. But that was, I think, the first time where I'd ever, like, responded to any of the videos that Taylor had really posted. Just because it felt like, so unwarranted to me, because I didn't. I, like, genuinely did not think that I was, like, saying anything offensive or hurtful. Like, that was not my intention from.
- [28:14]
Miranda
Your point of view. What was she upset with you about?
- [28:17]
Taylor
That? I didn't say that I. That she played a role in my decision to not do the show because I just said it didn't feel like.
- [28:24]
Miranda
A right fit for my family. What do you mean? Like, the. I guess the scandal. Like, was she upset with anything you did or you're a part of that? Like, almost like.
- [28:31]
Taylor
Oh, yes. Yeah. So people, I think, I think it gets a little bit misconstrued that I walked away from our friendship because of Taylor's affair and that was not the case. I found out about it the next day. You know, I had to do a lot of prying and I was like, Taylor, like, obviously something happened. I'm here for you. Like, let's talk about it. Because, you know, it's very. We all know something happened. And after a while, she. She made a comment that implied that they had done something. And I was like, okay. And I remember, like after the phone call, just sitting there and being like, huh, okay, like, how do I go about this? Because for me, it was never, like, I found out that she had an affair and I'm suddenly like, let's go, like, tell the world. Absolutely not. I mean, she was still my best friend. And I was like, okay, like, what do I do with this information? Because it wasn't just her telling me and no one else knew. Everyone, like, in our friend group knew that something had happened. And so I was like, okay, let's see how to go about this. And I, you know, didn't say anything to anyone until she had opened up to Tate about it. And then like, you know, our friend group knew, but it was never about that for me. The. The thing was that was because of the whole her and Chase thing. And it wasn't even as much the information as it was her lying to me about it. And that's what was hurtful, because I get a call from. I actually posted a family picture and posted some family pictures. I get a call from Camille, and Camille was like, hey, because Taylor had told one of our other friends that Chase had said that he had feelings for her or something like that at the gym. And then she told Camille and was like, I found out this information from Taylor. Like, I feel like Miranda should know. I don't know what to do with it. And Camille's like, okay, well, like, now you know, what do we do with this information? And meanwhile, like, I obviously know nothing about it. It feels like everyone around me knew everything, knew about it. And I just felt like I was just in the dark, which obviously was a very hurtful feeling after finding out and that everybody knew, like, that information except for the one person who probably should. So then Camille calls me, and she's like, hey, I just saw your family picture. I, like, feel like I should tell you this. Like, I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't. And she told me. And, you know, of course, I immediately text Taylor, and I'm like, hey, is this true? And she was like, no. Like, that's not true. Like, that's, like, crazy. And then, like, later, like, denied it multiple times again, and then it ends up becoming, like, this whole thing. And she came over to my house, and, like, our friend group all came over to my house, and that was actually the night everything ended up blowing up, but that's how she ended up coming over. And then, you know, she was drinking a little bit, and then she, like, went home with a friend, and then Braden went and picked her up, and that's how, like, that whole thing ended up happening. But that was, like, the same day we had a phone call, too. Then I don't know if it's the next day or a couple days after. And initially, she had said that he said that he was in love with her. And then. Then later on the phone call, it was that he had feelings for her. And so I just felt like things, like, kept kind of, like, shifting and changing. And I just, like, you know, and of course, like, I'm wanting to believe my husband, but at the same time.
- [32:04]
Miranda
I'm like, you, I'm assuming, asked, confronting him.
- [32:07]
Taylor
Oh, for sure. Yeah. And, you know, he's denying it, and he, like, told me that it was a. It was, like, kind of taken out of context. He's like. I think, like, I. Like, if. If we kept doing stuff, like, This. I. I think that I don't know if it was like, Tate could develop feelings for Miranda, like, I could develop feelings for you. It was something, like, similar to that. Like, all in all, I don't really care at this point. It doesn't. Like, it didn't play a role in our divorce. It doesn't. Makes no difference to me now what's true and what's not. But I think for me, there were already, like, other things leading up to this that Taylor had done that I felt like, were crossing some boundaries and that, like, had hurt my feelings a little bit. And so by this point, I think, like, the. The denying of. Of something like that and the trying to, like, keep it from me, especially me being her best friend. I think that's what I found very hurtful. And then I, like, find out that she approached him at the gym. I found out about this during this time, but this had happened before. I think Chase said that to her, I guess, allegedly. And she approached him at the night, the gym, and was like, hey, I had a dream about you last night. And he was like, oh, like, what kind of dream? She's like, you know, what kind of dream? And so I was like, oh, that's like, a weird thing to say to your best friend's husband. And so that, like, you know, just made me feel uncomfortable. And so then, of course, like, no having that in mind. I'm like, I don't know what to believe. Like, is she making it up? It. Did he tell her that? I was just, like, very confused. And really, it, like, didn't. Again, it didn't have to do with the affair. And so, you know, and so many people are like, how could you leave Taylor in, like, such a, like, vulnerable time in her life? And, like, she needed you. And I'm like, I needed her. I needed her, and I needed her to be honest with me. And, like. Cause I was there for her. Like, I was fully prepared to be there for her throughout the affair and divorce. And. And I would have. And I think, obviously, like, the. The guy she had an affair with, his wife is still to this day a very, very dear friend of mine. She's one of my closest friends. And so you're really.
- [34:08]
Miranda
You're really stuck in the middle here.
- [34:10]
Taylor
Well, yeah. And at the time, like, we were friends, but her and I are way closer now.
- [34:14]
Miranda
Okay.
- [34:14]
Taylor
And she's a very. She's always been, like, a very good friend to me, and I really value our friendship. And. But again, at the time, like, we weren't as close, but I still. We were still good friends. And so I think that was hard because I was also like. Like, I feel so bad for her, and, like, how could you guys do this to her? But at the same time, I'm like. And Taylor's like, but Taylor's my best friend. And I'm like, I don't know, like, what? Yeah, it's very, like, middleman. What do I do? How do I handle this?
- [34:42]
Miranda
That's also tough when you're, like, best friend or not. If your friend's doing something that you don't agree with, like, that's when being a friend becomes a real challenge.
- [34:50]
Taylor
Exactly.
- [34:51]
Miranda
Is being a friend, you know, hiding their secret? Is being a friend holding them accountable? Like, is there a balance there? It can be very challenging.
- [35:00]
Taylor
Right. And I think that's when I knew again, our. Our friend group knew something had happened. Right. And there were already, like, things kind of leading up to that that I think both of their partners were a little bit, like, suspicious about. And so when I had found out, I told Taylor. I was like, you have to say something, because it's gonna come out. It's gonna come out, and it. It's gonna be better if it comes from you. And of course, I like. Although I was like, I'm in your corner. I'm here for you. I'm trying to be here for you. But, yeah, it was a very difficult thing.
- [35:32]
Chase
So your friendship ended with Taylor because of what her and Chase had said or not said to each other and what she did not tell you about. That is why your friendship ended. Before your friendship ended, Taylor had an affair on her husband, and you were trying to be there for her, but then all of this information about her and Chase starts coming out, and so you kind of distance yourself.
- [35:55]
Taylor
Yes. But it was back to back. So it was like. It was like the phone call was like, me being like, okay, like, I'm here for you. Like, they're gonna find out. So, like, it's gonna be better if it comes from you, which is what she did. Like, she was ultimately the one who went to her husband and opened up about it. But it was. That was like, boom, boom. So it wasn't like she had the affair. It came out. I was like.
- [36:16]
Chase
And then you got a call from Camille.
- [36:18]
Taylor
It was. Yes. That was all, like, in the span of. I don't know, like, a few days or so, I want to say. So it wasn't like I was, like, there for Taylor for weeks, and then it happened. It was like, All. So that's, I think, why people also think I didn't want to be friends with her strictly because of only the Gotcha.
- [36:36]
Chase
And then how long after you had stepped away from your friendship with Taylor because of her and Chase did she go on her TikTok live and announce?
- [36:45]
Taylor
Two weeks, I want to say. Yeah, about two weeks, I would say. Okay.
- [36:48]
Chase
Wow.
- [36:49]
Miranda
Do you think you and Taylor are now on the same page of. Of that timeline or events of that whole situation?
- [36:56]
Taylor
Yes.
- [36:57]
Miranda
Okay. But if she listens to this episode, is she gonna be like, yeah, yeah, okay, sure. Yeah, I guess.
- [37:03]
Taylor
I mean, I hope so, because we've talked about it, and I think. I think there was just the number one thing. And Taylor will agree with this, too. That, I think, was an issue and has been an issue multiple times for multiple reasons. Not even just the whole swinging thing or whatever is. We've had the worst communication through it. Taylor and I really never. We never had hiccups. We never had, like, in our friendship. Like, we really were always, like, so solid. And it was toward the end, like, there were some things that kind of made me go, oh, like, I don't want that, or, like, that's, you know, that, like, isn't a great feeling or things like that. And then I think those things compiled with her being dishonest about the Chase thing. It just was a lot at that point. But leading up to that, like, it was pretty smooth sailing. So it's not like we have, you know, the natural ebb and flow of a. Of a relationship that you have with anyone where there's ups and downs, resolution. Like, we didn't really have, like, downs. It was really pretty consistent. And so I don't think we really knew one another's communication skills and, you know, what was our strong suit and what was not. And so I think we found that for her when she, you know, gets triggered in that sense. Like, she's very, you know, very vocal and, you know, takes it head on. I am the type of person where, unfortunately, I'm kind of like, you know what? Like, all right, let's cut it. I'm done. Like, I don't even care to talk about it. And I think both come with faults. And I think that throughout filming and talking about our fallout, I think we've recognized that really, like, communication or lack thereof, I guess our communication was just not what it should have been. And there are so many things that I've opened up now about that. She's like, oh, I had no idea that you felt that way. And I'm like, yeah, well, that's probably because I didn't bring it up and I should have. And so I think that that was our biggest downfall. And I think people will see that, like, throughout the filming process regarding, like multiple things.
- [39:10]
Chase
Do you think you'll ever get back to the state of friendship you were at before the swinging, before all of this stuff has happened?
- [39:18]
Taylor
I don't know. I don't know because, I mean, we're also in a way different phase of life. I mean, if you would have told me and Taylor back when we were at our closest that we would both be single moms and divorced in a matter of years, we probably would have been just so mind blown. Yeah. Our lives are both so different now.
- [39:41]
Miranda
Different from each other's or different from.
- [39:42]
Taylor
From what it was.
- [39:43]
Miranda
What it was.
- [39:44]
Taylor
Yes. Because I think we have a lot to relate to on now. And I think that it's hard to prioritize friendships in the season that we're in of life right now. And, you know, people will see that on the show as well. When you're struggling with anything mentally and then you throw motherhood into that and then you're, you know, a single mom and a working mom, there's a lot. And so I think that it's difficult to prioritize those friendships all the time. Where I feel like when we first started mom talk, it was kind of like just what we did because, you know, we were stay at home moms and we were kind of growing a platform, but like we were stay at home moms and that's just not our reality really anymore. And it's, you know, it's great, but I think that things are just so different and I think right now we're just kind of taking it one day at a time. And I'm just grateful that we are able to like joke about it now and, and laugh about it and be around each other and not have it be triggering for either one of us, really.
- [40:49]
Miranda
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- [41:21]
Chase
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- [41:39]
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- [42:06]
Chase
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- [42:15]
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Chase
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- [43:37]
Miranda
So now we are embarking on season two and you are now a part of this cast. How what happened and what were, what was the timeline for you to not be a part of season one and then decide to join? Did you make first content and say, hey, I kind of want to be part of season two or did you get a phone call from someone saying, hey, are you sure you don't want to be a part of season two?
- [44:02]
Taylor
I. A phone call?
- [44:04]
Miranda
Okay.
- [44:04]
Taylor
Yeah. A few days after season one aired, seeing if I had changed my mind. And at that, at this point, I'm divorced now and I was like, I don't know. And I, I would say obviously, like the decision making process because of that was easier. But I mean, I signed my contract the day before we started filming. I was like, so all over the place with making the decision. And a lot of that I think really had to do with my family. My family is still very religious and although they've been like very supportive, it's still, you know, a lot for them. And I think that they, they've seen me go through a lot over the last few years and I think that they were just, you know, rightfully concerned for me and my mental health. And I think that, you know, the church, that's something that they hold very near and dear to their heart. And even though I've kind of stepped away from that, it's something that I still try to be respectful of, you know, for their sake and for other loved ones. But yeah, I think it was, it was definitely a different difficult decision to make. But I couldn't really deny this time around that like I, last time I kept trying to make the idea work in my head and then my gut was telling me something else and I felt like it was kind of flip flopped this time around. And every time I like thought of it, I'm like, it probably just isn't the right. Like, I'm, I'm sure not like anything great really mentally and like for my kids could really come from it, but I kept feeling otherwise. And so I'm like, you know what? If I've got to eat my words, I'll eat my words. And so then I was like, you.
- [45:34]
Miranda
Know, let's do it was part of it. I mean, there must have been a part of you that saw how big the show became and how successful it was. And certainly after season one, it still seemed like the dynamic of the group was relatively positive. Minus, like, it seemed like Whitney was kind of been on the outs of the group. It was a relatively like non toxic environment. At least that as a fan or someone who interviewed the ladies, that was my perception of it. So like, as one of the OG moms of mom talk, I mean, there must have been a little of like, like, not resentment, but like, I don't know, like, yeah, why am I missing out on something I helped originate?
- [46:15]
Taylor
Right, right. I mean, yeah, there's a, there was for sure a level of it where I'm like, I've gone through a lot of trauma, I might as well get paid for it. Like when people are like, you're only back for the money. I'm like, I'm not back for free. Like, I, I'm not, I'm not doing this for charity. But at the same time, like, I also, because of the whole swinging scandal and the state of my mental health back then, you kind of recognize like what's worth it and what's not. Right. Like, I talk about this a lot throughout the filming process, but I, I feel like the beginning, the first, I don't know, eight months, almost like a year of my daughter's life was like, is kind of a blur and like, sorry, I just didn't want to like that to happen again. Yeah, why was it a blur? That was during all like the swinging stuff, like coming out. And so I was just so disassociated. And I think, like, thinking back now, that's like the. Regarding my kids, like, that's the part that is still a little bit of a wound for me because I don't feel like I was fully myself and in turn, I don't feel like I was fully a present mother. And so I like, my big concern of mine was like, getting back to that. Even though I'm like, this could be great for my kids. Right. I'm a single mom. Like, being able to really first of all hit the thing with Taylor head on once and for all. That was like almost an empowering feeling. But also I was very fearful. Just like I was very fearful of when everything first came out. However, I had a fear that I would end up back in that state again. And especially this time not being in a partnership and being a single mom and having to like, my kids depend on me for everything and I go through it alone. Yeah. And go through it alone. And like, obviously, you know, Chase and I had our issues, but also, like, there were a lot of. We had a lot of strong suits as well. And I do feel like we were very much there for each other during that time in a lot of ways, you know, regardless of, like, my hurt, I think that he did show up for me in ways that I needed at the time. So I think that was a big fear for me is like, what if it doesn't go well for me? What if I do get bad at it or. Cause really, I mean, I think a lot of people are expecting to see more about the swinging stuff on season one. Right. But that wasn't really. It was mention. It wasn't really a lot. I knew that if I was like, coming on get brought up again, it's for sure. And I was like, I'm not going to do it unless I'm fully prepared to do that at this point. Like, I'd already, like, done like some therapy. I'd already, like. I. I felt like I'd worked through a lot and I was. I feel like the difference between season one and season two, like, where I was at was astronomical. Even though it wasn't like that big of a gap, I think through my divorce process, I feel like I changed so much.
- [49:23]
Miranda
No, it makes a lot of sense too. Just the, you know, it's a challenge with the world that you're a part of because there's a lot of excitement, fascination, privilege that comes with being on tv, being an influencer, you know, it's. It's a job for sure. We gripe at opportunities. It's like, oh, I gotta do this.
- [49:42]
Taylor
Yes.
- [49:43]
Miranda
When you compare it to real work.
- [49:45]
Taylor
Yes.
- [49:46]
Miranda
If you've had, you know, I'm not sure about your background, I imagine you've had some real work. You know, Nally, before she got into this world with me, was an accomplished surgical technologist. I was an accountant. So when you think about that, it's like it, it doesn't feel like real work. And then there's a guilt associated, like you have of like, well, if this thing I choose to be a part of affects my life in any way negatively, then I asked for it and I deserve it.
- [50:12]
Taylor
And that's exactly how it feels, you.
- [50:13]
Miranda
Know, and things like that because of the privileges, you know. You know, it's like the selling out, you know, it's like, you know, that's.
- [50:20]
Taylor
Exactly, that's exactly how it feels. And the thing is, too, is that I'm like. Like, I think when you have, like, even a taste of that, like, when you have a social media platform, right. And then there's a whole scandal involved, you get enough of a taste of it to realize that, like. Like, it wasn't for me making the decision to. To do the show. Was money an aspect of it? Absolutely. But the fame scared me. Like, that's not something that I was interested in. So I had to weigh, like, what do I do? Is it worth this? Is it worth. And ultimately, you don't know. And that's kind of the hard part is you're going into it knowing that it's a gamble. But, you know. Yeah, I think. I think even in the podcast that Taylor listened to that I did a while ago, I said something about how I already, like, was exploited on the Internet for when I didn't ask for it. Like, I don't know that I want to ask to do that again and put myself in that position.
- [51:14]
Miranda
Sure.
- [51:14]
Taylor
When I'm, like, I'm choosing to put myself in that position, last time I didn't. And so then it does definitely feel like, you know, that it comes with privileges, and I'm fully, like, aware of that. But it is kind of like when you've complained at all or the hard parts or. I mean, I'm away from my kids this week for a full week. I've never in my life been away from my kids for a full week. And I was very emotional about it, but I'm like, there are so many people who have to be away from their kids for so much longer, and people who have to go to work every single day and take their kids to daycare. So then I'm like, I don't get to be sad about it because I chose this. But then it's also like, you still have that emotion come up. You know, it's a whirlwind. Yeah, it's definitely a whirlwind.
- [51:51]
Miranda
What conversations you have with Chase prior to saying yes to coming on the show.
- [51:57]
Taylor
I mean, Chase doesn't really. One thing you know about Chase is he just really doesn't give a. About, like, a lot. He either really does, or he, like, really doesn't. Again, being the passionate person he is, and regardless of everything that him and I have been through, I will say, like, still to this day, Chase is one of the most supportive people in my life. And he was very like, if you, like, choose to do this, like, I got you support you, and I Think that he's been supportive in me doing it the way that I want to do it. Obviously, like I will say one of our biggest strengths as a co parent relationship is that we do not speak negatively of one another to really, I mean, you have your people you vent to, obviously, but in front of our children online, nothing like that. And it's. Though it's hard sometimes, especially when I'm like, I still want to be authentic to like my truth and my reality.
- [52:51]
Miranda
Sure.
- [52:51]
Taylor
But I also want to protect your kids. Yeah. I never want my children to see me talking on their dad only.
- [52:56]
Miranda
Yeah, you can have you. It's like, yeah, you can be an authentic person and still have your boundaries. You know, like Natalie and I have this show. Like, you know, sure, I, I hope that our audience thinks we're open and, and is happy with what we choose to share about our lives and. But like we, we don't share everything, nor do we feel like we need to or want to. And when it comes to fan, you know, fan is. Is short for fanatic. And you know, I appreciate fans, but sometimes not, not all fans are the same. Every fan has different expectations. I think the challenge with social media is that fans have this perception of this incredible access to you and you have access to them through dms, through comments.
- [53:38]
Taylor
Yes. They think they're entitled to the information.
- [53:40]
Miranda
And then our brains feel like, oh, well, you know, we want again. Again, there's that. I need to be grateful for this. This is a dream come true experience. Like, I can't lose my fans. So I have to make sure that like, I am almost in a way acknowledging them or listening to them or, you know, am I, you know, and it could definitely be a real.
- [53:58]
Taylor
A thousand percent. Right? Yeah. Like, I feel like I do kind of owe it to them. Like, I do choose to share my life, but I also am like a human that like, deserves to have boundaries and respect and privacy sometimes. And it's a, it's a hard line to tell. For sure. Absolutely.
- [54:11]
Miranda
Were you worried outside of Taylor because you guys had your friendship fallout, drama, whatever, but coming into this show, you have an established group of women that regardless of you starting mom talk, they, I guess took it over and really ran with it and had its success without the scandal.
- [54:31]
Taylor
Yes.
- [54:32]
Miranda
You know, were you worried about being welcomed into the group?
- [54:35]
Taylor
Oh, for sure, sure. Yeah. No, I knew that I, that I was kind of walking into a lion's den there. For sure. And again, weighing the pros and cons, you kind of, you know, what you're getting yourself into. And I think when it came to filming, I kind of just went into it thinking I'm just gonna expect the worst. That way, I'm pleasantly surprised if anything better happens. So that's kind of the approach I took.
- [54:55]
Miranda
Were there any women in particular that were. You felt more judgment from or criticism from than others?
- [55:03]
Taylor
Yeah, Mikayla, for sure.
- [55:04]
Miranda
Okay.
- [55:05]
Taylor
I was very surprised. I felt like she came at me pretty hard. And I was just mostly because, like, her and I weren't very close prior to, like, I would consider us friends, but, like, it wasn't, you know, a deep friendship, but more of, like, an acquaintance friendship.
- [55:19]
Miranda
Yeah.
- [55:19]
Taylor
And so it was surprising.
- [55:20]
Miranda
Mikayla and Macy seem incredibly sweet, but they also seem the most devout and conservative with their faith, and then simultaneously, just from a man perspective, in a lot of ways, seem the most judgmental.
- [55:33]
Chase
I feel like Jen is probably the most devout. Yeah.
- [55:38]
Taylor
I would say Michaela and Michaela.
- [55:40]
Chase
Aren't they, like, the sinners?
- [55:41]
Taylor
Michaela left the church. She said she's actually not Mormon anymore.
- [55:45]
Miranda
Okay.
- [55:45]
Taylor
No, no. Macy is. I would say Macy and Jen are the most about. I would say Whitney would be number three to me.
- [55:52]
Miranda
Okay. But, like, yeah, Michele does seem.
- [55:54]
Taylor
But I can see why you can hold a grudge. Yes. She can't. She can't. She can't. And sometimes it's shocking because Michaela is very, like, quiet and demanding. Very quiet, very poised. And then sometime, like, she'll speak and you're like, oh, oh, okay.
- [56:05]
Miranda
Because she'll be like, yeah, very gentle. And she'll be like, fuck that bitch. You know, like, yes, that's exactly, like, exactly her.
- [56:11]
Taylor
And, like, it's. It's. It's funny. Like, I honestly think it's funny. And I think looking back and knowing Michaela as well as I do now, too, I think that that's something that, like, makes me laugh because that is how she is. And that's why I was so jarred, because I didn't know her well enough to know kind of, like, her Persona versus, like, her actual, like, personality. And now that I, like, understand her more, I laugh about it. But, yeah, she was surprising.
- [56:36]
Chase
The girls are fighting on social media. I'm sure you have seen or been following, but seems like Jesse and Demi, who, season one seemed like the closest, sickest thieves. Yeah, just. Just absolute best friends. I think Demi said that Jesse has her blocked. They're fighting in the comments. Where do you stand in this?
- [56:58]
Taylor
I say that I'm Switzerland, but also, there is a direction I lean but their fallout, obviously, it really is, like, it has nothing to do with me necessarily, but I think when you see patterns in someone and when you see people do things to their friends, it naturally kind of makes you go, I don't love that. And sometimes, like, it does make you wonder, like, should I distance myself from this person? I don't know. If, you know, if they can do that to a friend, then who's to say that they can't do it to me? And it does kind of make you. Even though I might not be like, oh, like, I hate this girl. I hate. You know, it's not really even necessarily that, but it is kind of makes you be a little more inquisitive about it and maybe even a little more just careful. And, you know, you tread lightly in these situations, too, just because it is a lot of girls with a lot of opinions and a lot of emotions. And I think, yeah, even though I definitely have an opinion on their fallout, I think that ultimately I'm like, I don't want to be involved. You know, I lean a direction, and that's where I'm at. But, yeah, it'll get messy. You'll see it get messy.
- [58:11]
Miranda
You'd rather not say which direction.
- [58:12]
Taylor
I don't know if I can.
- [58:14]
Miranda
You know, and I get. You can't necessarily spoil him. But, like, in terms of what. Yeah, like. Like, without maybe giving the why.
- [58:19]
Taylor
Okay.
- [58:19]
Miranda
I'd love to know your opinion.
- [58:21]
Taylor
Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that when you are someone who is really fighting heavily to push a narrative, I think that it's never a good look. And as someone who was very adamant, like, wasn't involved, like, don't. Don't look at me. Nothing happened, wasn't involved. Looking back now in my situation with the swinging scandal, I'm like, oh. I think that there was a level of projecting totally. Like, if I'm being totally honest with myself, because was I involved in what, like, a lot of people think I was? No. But was there truth to it? Yeah. So then for me, I think I look at it through that lens where when one person is being very adamant, nothing happened. Pointing fingers everywhere. I just. I feel like it. It brings up just some questions, and I think that's kind of what Demi's doing right now, where it's like, no, no, no. And based on a lot of conversations that I've had with Jesse and with Demi, both separately, I feel like Jesse has been very forthcoming about things that happened, and the whole reason for their fallout made a lot more sense to me. After hearing what Jesse had to say.
- [59:39]
Miranda
So you think Jesse has been very forthcoming with everything that might be revealed in season two?
- [59:46]
Taylor
Yes. And this is at this point where, like present day, where I'm at right now, my relationship with Jesse, what I know how I've seen things unfold. I feel like Jesse has been from the time really that it even any information about anything that came out, I feel like she has really taken it head on and been very forthcoming about it from my perspective.
- [60:13]
Miranda
Okay.
- [60:15]
Taylor
Oh, boy. Okay.
- [60:18]
Miranda
Well, I guess let me ask you this. Has Jesse admitted anything to you that she did something pretty like, outside? Well, that shocked you?
- [60:27]
Taylor
Yes.
- [60:27]
Miranda
Okay.
- [60:28]
Taylor
Yes, she has. Yeah.
- [60:29]
Miranda
Okay. I guess, like to add to that question, it's my perception that, like, again, like, season one, you know, as great as it was, seemed relatively like vanilla. Not vanilla. I mean, hella, that was a hell of a season. It was great to watch. But a lot of the drama, like Jen and Zach, you know, and it followed a lot of like, just the relationships or the challenges in Mormon culture with young marriages and things like that. You had, you know, Whitney kind of having a fallout with the group and. And Winnie kind of almost seemed like fine with it and she was pregnant and kind of like, you know what? Maybe didn't like the drama season two. It seems like deep. Yeah. Things are getting dark. Their friendships are being questioned. They're ending. Who in the group do you think? And it can be multiple. It could be zero has been most affected and changed as a result of the attention, money, fame, or success that this show has brought to any of these women.
- [61:33]
Taylor
Ooh. I would probably say maybe. I mean, it's close. I think there's like multiple that I'm like, oh, maybe, maybe. But I would probably say ultimately maybe to me.
- [61:43]
Miranda
Okay, why?
- [61:44]
Taylor
I think she was like a fan favorite in the first season. I think it's easy for that kind of thing to go to anybody's head a little bit. But I do think there was a level of entitlement and I think maybe it's totally a subconscious thing, but I think that that kind of created that somewhat in her. And I don't know if going into season two, if she thought that there was going to be a level of immunity because of that or. I mean, when you've done one season, I think you don't really, you know what to expect, but you don't really know what to expect. And I think everyone's been in it long enough. And I think at this point, even though I don't have another season under my belt. I think I've seen enough. Enough to know that no one's really ever safe. You know, I think relationships change when you're filming a reality TV show. It's. There's a lot that goes into that. Right. And that's not just your relationships with the people. Right. There's a whole world working around you as well. And there's just been a lot that has happened that does make me feel like there was maybe a level of entitlement from having a good season that came from that.
- [62:58]
Miranda
When it comes to the Jesse and Demi fallout are. And thank you for sharing your opinion, because I know it's delicate and you want to be careful with your words, but as you pointed out, you were leaning more, I guess, team Jesse, for lack of better way of saying it. But you don't sound completely confident. Are you. You're open to being wrong about that and kind of just. Do you think more might be revealed or like. Or do you feel like it's a lot of she said, she said right now, and right now you find Jesse's version to be more believable. But are you pretty firm in your opinion, or do you think it's possible you could be wrong?
- [63:36]
Taylor
Oh, I think it's possible. Yeah. I would be very shocked. Like, I feel pretty firm in my decision, but I also. I mean, I'm always open to being wrong. I think that, like, maybe it's my trust issues speaking, but I feel like I think anyone can really spin their own narrative. I think a lot of people can be very convincing. And it's hard, too, because there's also, like, in that situation specifically, it's not just the two of them with the fallout. Right. Like, there's. There are other people who play a role in that, and then you're also hearing that side, and it adds another dynamic. Right. Where you're like, okay, then you have to put that into consideration. You know, they. You know what they say there's three sides to every story. And so I think it's. It would not. I would be shocked, but I guess I wouldn't say I would be, like, too surprised. But again, like, I am. Yeah, I am pretty firm in where I'm at with that. But you never know. I mean, you never know.
- [64:36]
Miranda
When you say other people involved, are you talking about. About Marciano?
- [64:40]
Taylor
Yeah. And there's been a lot of conversations there that you've had. All of us have had.
- [64:45]
Miranda
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- [65:15]
Chase
Obviously, Taylor and Dakota's relationship, we know, is very rocky. Jyn and Zach, we saw season one that kind of fall apart. Whose relationship do you think is kind of like next on the chopping block from your opinion as like the weakest?
- [65:32]
Taylor
Jesse and Jordan for sure. Yeah, definitely Jesse and Jordan right now. I think that Layla and I were having this conversation a while ago that I think it just confirms for me the reason why I didn't want my relationship to be on reality tv. I don't think it's. And granted, again, I think that these are all, like, there are issues with all of them that were already being had. Right. I truly believe that. And I think you can also see when you have a firm foundation, I think like Mikayla and Macy, not to say they don't have their issues, but I do feel like they have a pretty solid relationship with their husbands. And it feels like it's been playing out very nicely and everything's like just seemingly rainbows and butterflies for them. And then the people who already had pretty difficult issues and struggles in their relationship, those are the ones that are really struggling. And I think that when you're in this environment, it's already difficult. But when you throw in it being so public and then you have all these people that are opinionated around you, it creates a very difficult dynamic. And I think that for me, I don't know that I could be married and be in this situation. I mean, I think it would be a very difficult thing to try even. Even with like, a solid foundation. I mean, it's just. It's hard. I think it would be really hard. And I commend them for trying. But I also am like, it's enough, like, as a mom to have to, like, deal with it all, but then a relationship on top of it. I think it's a lot.
- [67:01]
Miranda
Do you think Jen's an honest person?
- [67:03]
Taylor
I think when Jen lies, I think she does it in efforts to. I don't think it's a. It's with negative or manipulative intent. I don't think it's. Yes. I don't think it's malicious intent. I think she does it because she's trying to whether, like, avoid some level of conflict oftentimes. But then I think what's hard is that it ends up, you know, coming back around and then, like, biting her in the ass more than if she would have just been more forthcoming about it in the first place. And, you know, I've seen that multiple times where I think that whether it's, like, to Zach or whether it's to the girls, she'll say something that isn't necessarily full truth or whatever, and then later it comes out, and then it ends up being worse than if she would have just been forthcoming. And I get it. But I think it is something that she hopefully is learning lessons from, for sure.
- [67:51]
Chase
Do you feel like there's anyone who necessarily performs for the cameras? Like, I'm sure you've spent some time with these women off camera. Do you feel like any of them turn it on or up a notch when the cameras are rolling?
- [68:03]
Taylor
I think there's a lot of that in. In some senses, maybe as far as, like, an. An issue that's already being had. Right. So it's. So it's. The emotions are there. The emotions are authentic, but maybe, like, the reaction is maybe being upped a little bit. And I know, like, Whitney's an actor, so I think maybe she does some of that, but it's also, like. I mean, she also does a good job at it, if that's the case. So it's. I do think that there for sure could be some of that, but I think that it's all coming from genuine emotions. I don't think that there's really anything that's like, I'm gonna, like, bring this fake emotion and, like, try to make it a big deal. It's, you know, coming from an authentic place that maybe is played up for somebody more amplified. Yes.
- [68:48]
Miranda
Yeah, that makes sense. I mean, that's ultimately. I mean, that. That cameras do that when Mike's. You know, it's just. The stakes are heightened. But, yeah, there's a big difference between leaning in to the emotion you're feeling, which is ultimately what reality TV is. Right. Like, you know, I've covered reality TV for better part of a decade. There's always this fascination with reality tv, and then there's always these discussions about the producer relationship they have with cast and are they making cast do things they don't want to do? My general opinion having, you know, and I can't speak for everyone's experience, and there's plenty of bad actors in any industry, but generally speaking, my. My opinion is, like, all producers are really doing is they're there to validate your most intense feelings. They're not the friend who make you. They're not the friend who makes you that goes, are you sure you want to do that?
- [69:36]
Taylor
No.
- [69:36]
Miranda
You know, they're not reminding you of the regret you could for. For just expressing yourself in that moment. But there's a big difference between that and literally just performing a scene.
- [69:49]
Taylor
Yes.
- [69:49]
Miranda
And then ending the scene and just being like, all right, well, anyways, what's for long, you know, like, just as if you're literally acting and they're, you know, I have seen reality TV people do that in real time.
- [70:01]
Taylor
Yeah.
- [70:02]
Miranda
And they're in the wrong profession, I guess. Yeah. But as far as you're concerned, you don't really see that amongst the group.
- [70:10]
Taylor
No, I do think it's exactly where you. What you said, where people ask us all the time. And I think because of all the online drama, Right. People are like, oh, I think this is fake. They're just playing this. I wish, I wish. I mean, it would be. It's great for. For the show. Right. It's great marketing. But I feel like the fact that people think we're just playing it up online. Right. And the thing is, is that. That when you're already, like, influencers going into it, then online. Yeah. It does kind of become like a marketing platform for the show, naturally. But also it was already a marketing platform for ourselves prior to that, so I think it's kind of natural to, like, post those type of things. And production in the show doesn't have a hand in any of that. They don't tell us what to post. They don't like any of the shade being thrown online. That is like, fully and totally on everyone's own accord.
- [70:58]
Miranda
I don't even want you guys doing that stuff.
- [71:00]
Taylor
Well, that's the thing is, like, sometimes people, they're like, can you guys chill? Like, really? You're gonna, like.
- [71:06]
Miranda
Yeah.
- [71:06]
Taylor
You're gonna, like, spoil stuff at this point and people are thinking it's fake, but. Yeah, no, it definitely is. Just, you know, everyone has their real raw emotions, whether it's played up or. Or not. I think that that's case by case, person by person. But what they really ultimately do is put you in situations to evoke emotion. For sure.
- [71:25]
Miranda
Yeah.
- [71:26]
Taylor
And they're. They're going to put you in situations that maybe you wouldn't otherwise be in, but they're never going to tell you how to act or tell you how to feel.
- [71:34]
Miranda
Yeah. Or what to do.
- [71:35]
Taylor
Or what to do. Right.
- [71:36]
Miranda
Who amongst the group do you feel like is the most misrepresented or. Or there's more to them. What to what we've seen so far. The most misunderstood.
- [71:47]
Taylor
I feel like maybe just because you didn't see a lot of Layla and Mikayla on season one, I think they might be some. Just because, again, like, there wasn't a lot of context to their story or their backstory. And I know that they both did film a lot that incorporated some of their backstories and, like, traumas and things like that, but it ultimately didn't end up making the cut. So I think that they are two of the ones I would say that about. I also think that Whitney went about this season in a different manner. It's now, I don't know as far as how I'm feeling now, if I still feel this way. But going through season two, I think that there were a lot of things I was pleasantly surprised regarding Whitney about after seeing season one, that I was kind of impressed by how she handled it.
- [72:41]
Miranda
Do you think it's growth on her part or do you think it's her figuring out. Out, like, learning from her mistakes in gaming the system because she's. She's not stupid.
- [72:53]
Taylor
Yeah.
- [72:54]
Miranda
I've never met Whitney. I look forward to having an opportunity to do that. But. And again, this is all just what I've seen on tv, so it might be completely inaccurate. But she, you know, and I. And I say this is someone who is strategic and I can be calculated. You know, I like to think I have a brain. There's nothing bad about having smarts, but, like, do you think her growth is sincere or more calculated?
- [73:14]
Taylor
I think it's certainly a possibility that it could be calculated. I mean, I will say that I am someone who has a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt more than I should.
- [73:24]
Miranda
Okay.
- [73:24]
Taylor
It's kind of a joke amongst the girls. They know that I'm that way.
- [73:30]
Miranda
It's like, get Miranda to forgive you.
- [73:31]
Taylor
Yeah, yeah, kind of. Which is. I think, like, that's the thing with Taylor, that it was like, so crazy that it was such a. You know, our communication was so off for so long because I do feel like. Like I feel like for the most part, I am typically that way. There are like some exceptions, obviously, but I do think with, with Whitney, they were all concerned that I was getting close to Whitney at a time that felt convenient. And I can't say what her genuine intentions are or were. You know, of course I'd always like to think that people would want to be my friend from. Because they genuinely want to. Anybody would. But again, I. It's one of those things where I'm like, ah, like I don't really know. But also it's kind of like I just shrug my shoulders, say I don't really know. Like, I don't. It's not something I really need to get to the bottom of necessarily. It's not like, you know, Whitney and I haven't had like as long of a friendship as Taylor and I had. And even though I feel like, you know, we were getting close, I feel like there is still a level of. Of me that goes maybe like they are right or maybe they, the girls are onto something just because they've also known her longer than I have. And so I do think that there is a possibility with that for sure.
- [74:47]
Chase
What are some signs that you've seen that kind of give you that feeling?
- [74:51]
Taylor
I mean, I do think that like, when it's all laid out when, you know, Whitney kind of started to have fallouts with some of the girls, I do think that is around the time where her and I did start getting closer. It was kind of a similar thing with Demi. And at the time it felt like genuine friendship. And I can't really even say that it wasn't. But when they, when the other girls bring up the fact that the timing is convenient, it does make me go, oh, well, yes, maybe when you put it like that, like, I guess maybe it was and almost like needing an ally and not wanting to feel, you know, isolated in their fallouts and. And so on. And so I just, you know, I think it's. That's why I say with the Demi versus Jesse thing, I'm like, oh, I think anything could be a possibility. I mean, you never really know. But it's also like, I don't really feel a need to try to like, dissect it and really figure it out because I'm like, what's that really going to prove? And also, are they ever going to admit it? Probably not.
- [75:51]
Miranda
Yeah. It's just, you know, with this particular fallout, sadly, it just feels like there's conversations going on that are very heavy and very serious.
- [76:02]
Taylor
There are, yeah.
- [76:04]
Miranda
And it seems like a, you know, a Real shame.
- [76:07]
Taylor
Yes. It's unfortunate.
- [76:09]
Miranda
Yeah.
- [76:10]
Taylor
It's a very emotional thing to watch unfold. I think, for some of us who are actually divorced, too, and watching, you know, know their marriages be the way they are and going through, hearing about certain things that have gone on in the past, things that are going on now, it is something that, you know, I've really tried to hold space for. It's really difficult, and it can feel very isolating to feel alone in your relationship. And that's the thing is. Is it really proves, I think, once again that it is reality and that really no one's. It's hard to play up that much emotion, I guess, is, you know, especially in your relationship when there's a lot of damage there. It's coming from an authentic place.
- [76:55]
Miranda
I just want to put some clarity on and have this question, because the stuff is starting to get out there.
- [77:01]
Taylor
Yes.
- [77:01]
Miranda
I was just about to say that Marciano.
- [77:03]
Chase
Because she just called him a sexual predator in a comment.
- [77:07]
Miranda
Yeah. So Demi referred to him as a sexual predator in the comments. You have your opinion about the situation. You know, way more than us.
- [77:15]
Taylor
When I first heard about anything happening at all, because obviously, I. I wasn't there at Vanderpump Villa. That was before season one had even aired. But when we were in Scottsdale filming during season two, that was the first time I'd ever heard about anything happening. I know that Jen had voiced some opinions on it here and there, but I didn't know really any details.
- [77:39]
Miranda
Jen.
- [77:40]
Taylor
So Jen was there at Vanderpump Villa, and she felt like Demi was being too flirty and was acting in a certain way that she didn't agree with. And then she brings it up. There were a few comments made about it, but it wasn't until Scottsdale when I first heard about anything that had happened. And that was also the context that I heard about it in as well. So, of course, the context that he's a sexual predator. Yes, that. That she was assaulted.
- [78:14]
Miranda
This information's coming out in real time. I'm of the understanding that the accusation is around, like, he grabbed her in a way that she felt was inappropriate.
- [78:22]
Taylor
Yes. Yes.
- [78:24]
Miranda
For the people who were there, it sounds like Jen and Jess, outside of Demi, who seem to be questioning Demi's integrity. How can they be so confident unless they were literally around her 24 7.
- [78:36]
Taylor
Right. And that. That's. That's the hard thing. My first. First impression of what I was being told was very. Was very, you know, empathetic. I'm so sorry that's awful. Obviously, there's been a lot of information now. And I think what is confusing is that if you take that, set that aside, right, let's say that that did happen. There are also other things that had happened that were not assault. And I think that that's what makes it very confusing that only if that did happen, that's the only thing being talked about. Nothing else is being talked about. But also, like, then, you know, when you hear that that didn't happen, and then it makes it very confusing. And then. Then, you know, you hear another end of it that. And. And ultimately, like, I, as firm as I am, like, in my stance, I still have, like, empathy on both ends. It's a very, like, It's a. It's a blurry, muddy situation all in all. And that's also part of why I'm not like, Team Jesse, like, after me. I'm very like, okay, like, I've seen problematic behavior. I am hearing these different sides, and I lean one way. But I think that's also with everything that you're saying it does. You know, it raises some questions because you never want to be the type of person who. Who is victim, blaming or to invalidate that. That experience for her. It's the same reason why, like, I. I would never really, like, speak to. And I wasn't there. Same reason why I would never speak to, like, the situation with Taylor. I can hold space for it and have. Have empathy for it, but I. I don't know at the end of the day. And that is what's difficult is because if it's not true, it's also regardless of his character as a person, because, I mean, clearly there. There's a lot there to unpack with, like, how problematic. He knew going into it that all of these women are married, right? So it's like, if you are even thinking that there's a possibility at all, it's already, like, he's already disrespecting a boundary by, like, coming onto them in any facet, obviously, especially if it's assault. But regardless of, like, his, his character, I think making an accusation like that, if it's not true, is also very wrong. And so from what. What, you know, I know now. Yes. Do I still have, like, reservations of, like, oh, like, well, I hope this is, like, actually the case. But then there's also, like, substantial. Substantial evidence that makes certain things feel a little bit indisputable.
- [81:27]
Miranda
The impression I'm getting from you is something happened between Demi and him that you're under the impression was consensual.
- [81:35]
Taylor
Yes.
- [81:36]
Miranda
That seems to be the biggest driving force, whether it's you or Jesse or any of the other women, that's stopping you ladies from having a hard time believing, to me.
- [81:47]
Taylor
Right. And that's what's difficult. You have, like, two sides of not okay on different ends. And then it's also like. Like, most of the people who are having conversations about this and, like, talking about it weren't really there. Right. So then it. That makes it hard, too, because you're like, okay, well, we can't really say. At the end of the day, you have to take somebody's word for it. And there are. Even though, like, that is the case, there are also things that have come out that I feel like are evidence to support certain narratives. But it. I mean, yeah, it is a. It's a hard line to toe because you don't really know. You can, like, again, I still feel, like, pretty firm in where I'm at and my belief, but, I mean, yeah, I think anything's possible. Possible. And I think some people can be very convincing, so.
- [82:32]
Miranda
Well, thanks for having that conversation. I know it's very difficult, and we, all of us obviously want to be respectful.
- [82:38]
Taylor
Right.
- [82:38]
Miranda
And. And you know more than we know.
- [82:41]
Taylor
Right.
- [82:41]
Miranda
But you're still, as you just mentioned, you weren't there. You're heavily involved because you're friends with these women. So I appreciate you trying to delicately have this conversation. I know it's. I know it's not. So thank you for trying to have it with us.
- [82:52]
Taylor
I know it makes it a little hard when there's still so much unfolding.
- [82:55]
Miranda
But a lot of this stuff we're talking about right now is. For all we know, there's more fighting in the comments as we speak.
- [83:02]
Taylor
Oh, yeah.
- [83:03]
Miranda
And this was. Stuff was playing out this morning before we sat down and recorded. And by the time this episode comes out, which will be a few weeks from now, who knows where we will stand with the information that is out there and what we're even talking about. So just for those listening, it's a lot to unpack before we let you go. You want to share or. I mean, you've been so open. It's been great getting to know you. We're excited to. To see you join this cast. I speak for myself when I say that. But just any final thoughts before, you know, the. The world gets to see you and the rest of these ladies tomorrow on. On season two of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?
- [83:43]
Taylor
I know. It'll be crazy. Yeah. I mean, I'm. I'm just grateful for. For the opportunity, you know, for. For better, for worse. Obviously, it comes with its ups and downs. You of all people know that reality TV is not for everyone. I guess I'll. I'll find out if it's for me. Still have yet to know that. We'll find out tomorrow. But I'm just grateful for the opportunity and, and with all of the chaos that comes with this group of women and all the fallouts and the resolutions, all in all, I. I'm also grateful for them and, and for the friendships that I've created and. And I'm just excited for everybody to see that.
- [84:19]
Miranda
Are you dating?
- [84:20]
Taylor
I just got out of a relationship, okay? So I'm not dating. I'm just single mom. Single mom in it, just soaking up my time with my kids, and that's it.
- [84:34]
Miranda
There's a. There's a lot of, I think, fear when it comes to, specifically women, you know, who are leaving relationships to enter in the dating world. As a single mom.
- [84:43]
Taylor
Yeah.
- [84:44]
Miranda
What have you learned and what can you offer to any women out there who, who are in your position, who are considering being in your position or just starting to be in your position? We've heard all the fears, all the worries have been well documented. But what have you gained from your independence as a single mom? And what are things that you have learned to appreciate as a single mom that maybe you can share with our audience to offer them more of a silver lining and hope and optimism around being an independent, independent woman?
- [85:15]
Taylor
Oh, man, I've gained me, like, authentic, real, raw. Miranda. I think that that's something that I. Sometimes you don't really realize how much of you is being masked. And I think, too, it's. It wasn't even for me, like, just my relationship alone, because I do feel like there were a lot of ways that I was myself within it, but there were also a lot of ways that I felt like I wasn't. And also within, you know, religion and dissecting what that looked like for me and, you know, being very vulnerable and true to myself with where I was at with that and within my religion or and within my relationship, I. I just feel like I've really come to find a lot of myself, and I. I started dating pretty quickly, I think, too quickly, which is why I think, you know, ultimately it ended. I think I just needed time to. To just be. And I think that's exactly what everybody. Single mom, or even if somebody is considering it to do, is to take that Time and find yourself and to enjoy your own company and to just soak up your time with just your children and just love the alone time. I think it's hard when you're. I was in a relationship for seven years, and I think that coming out of it, I realized I love living alone. I love my alone time. And I liked it before, but I feel like I really love it now, and I realize how much I value it, but it's because I like myself. And I think that a lot of people have a hard time being alone when they don't really like themselves. And I think in this process, that's kind of what I've come to find out is that I. I like being in my own head and I. I like who I am. And I've. I've learned that through all of these experiences, it's brought me to where I am. And so I. If I could give anybody advice in my position, it would just be to give yourself grace. But. But just really love your own company.
- [87:14]
Miranda
Okay. Well, thank you for sharing that.
- [87:16]
Taylor
Yeah.
- [87:17]
Miranda
Wishing you the best of luck. Excited to see people watch you this season. And if I can offer you any unsolicited advice, like TVs bullshit, the Internet's bullshit, like, the more you can, you know, this is a time for you. I hope that whether it's your kids, even your ex husband who you have a positive relationship with, your family, those real relationships will, like, center you, ground you, and the more you can find, focus on their opinions and completely ignore the other stuff, the better you will be because it really, you know, this is a job for you, you know, and so treat it as such. It's entertainment. Let people be entertained, you know, and allow them to feel, think and feel whatever they're going to think and feel. Because I'm sure you've learned this already. You can't control the opinions of everyone out there, so you might as well just, like, focus on what's in front of you and what matters. And if you can do that, I think you'll.
- [88:08]
Taylor
Yes.
- [88:08]
Miranda
You'll be glad that you did.
- [88:10]
Taylor
Oh, yeah. You learned to compartmentalize pretty well. I mean, I try to. I take my mic off at the end of the day, hand it in. I'm like, all right, clocked out. See you guys next time.
- [88:17]
Miranda
Beautiful.
- [88:18]
Taylor
It's hard, but it's. It's a process. Yeah.
- [88:20]
Miranda
It's. If you can do that, then. Then I look forward to watching you on many more seasons to come.
- [88:25]
Taylor
Thank you. I appreciate it.
- [88:26]
Miranda
Thank you guys for listening. Don't forget that season two of Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is out tomorrow on hulu. They're dropping 10 juicy episodes for you to binge watch and digest and we will be covering it the whole way through. And we'll see you back tomorrow for another episode of RR with our special guests Demi and Brett to preview the upcoming season and get into some of the more, you know, juicy conversations. So more to come.
- [88:57]
Taylor
Good luck with that.
- [88:58]
Miranda
Bye. The BHOUS is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing a budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates prices and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsement announcements or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn ads, go to Libsynads.com that's L I B S Y N ads.com today.