Podcast Title: The Viall Files
Host: Nick Viall
Episode: E970 Ask Nick - My Mom Got Catfished
Release Date: July 21, 2025
Overview
In episode E970 of The Viall Files, host Natalie Joy engages with listeners seeking advice on pressing personal and familial issues. The episode predominantly features two listener calls: one addressing a mother's experience with online catfishing and another discussing the complexities of ending a romantic relationship. Throughout the discussions, Natalie offers empathetic guidance, blending relationship wisdom with insights into contemporary challenges such as online scams and mental health.
Listener Call 1: "My Mom Got Catfished"
Caller: Sister (Name not disclosed)
Timestamp: [01:55] – [31:06]
Background
A 39-year-old woman reaches out to Natalie for help concerning her mother, who has fallen victim to an online catfishing scam. Her mother has become emotionally involved with a man she believes to be a real actor from a subscription-based romance show, but in reality, he's one of many imposters attempting to scam her.
Key Points Discussed
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Mother's Obsession and Vulnerability
- The caller explains her mother's history with addictive behaviors, including gambling and substance abuse, which have made her susceptible to online scams.
- Her mother has developed an addictive personality, leading her to become fixated on various public figures, transitioning from actors like those from "Sons of Anarchy" to celebrities like Pete Davidson and Bad Bunny.
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Identifying the Scam
- The mother communicates daily with the supposed actor, sending money under false pretenses.
- The caller conducted research, discovering numerous fake profiles of the actor with suspicious characteristics, such as having numerous friends who are predominantly older women—indicating potential victims.
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Family Dynamics and Challenges
- The mother is married to the caller’s father of over 35 years, adding complexity to the situation.
- The caller struggles to confront her mother due to her mother's bipolar and narcissistic personality disorders, making conversations tense and precarious.
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Financial Implications
- The mother has been making unauthorized charges totaling hundreds of dollars through the subscription scam.
- Efforts to mitigate the financial damage include planning to remove her devices and seeking assistance from the Apple Store to secure her accounts.
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Intervention Attempts
- The caller witnessed a confrontation between her parents regarding the scam, which allowed her to mediate and communicate individually with both parents.
- Discussions emphasize the need for empathy, recognizing the mother's loneliness and the satisfying emotional connection she feels with the scammer, despite the risks involved.
Advice Given
Natalie emphasizes understanding the emotional needs driving the mother's behavior. She advises:
- Empathy Over Confrontation: Acknowledge the mother's feelings and the emotional fulfillment she seeks from the scammer.
- Educate and Inform: Provide evidence of the scam's prevalence and the tactics scammers use to manipulate victims.
- Support Systems: Encourage family interventions and collective support to address the mother's behavior without confrontation.
- Protective Measures: Assist in securing the mother's financial and digital accounts to prevent further exploitation.
Notable Quotes
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Caller:
"My mom has addictive personality disorder... she watches these shows and gets hooked on these guys." [02:05]"She downloaded a weird app that he had her download to text with him, and I noticed all day they were talking." [02:55]
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Natalie:
"Your mom's being taken advantage of... She has someone who she's building a relationship with who makes her feel seen and heard." [05:49]"You have to try to empathize with, like, I get why it's fun... Because a lot of people in your mom's position get scammed." [06:57]
Listener Call 2: "I Broke Up with My Boyfriend, Am I Doing the Right Thing?"
Caller: Melissa
Timestamp: [34:11] – [96:31]
Background
Melissa, a 24-year-old woman, seeks advice after ending a one-month relationship with her 25-year-old boyfriend. Despite his considerate behavior, Melissa identifies significant red flags related to his lifestyle habits and emotional handling of family conflicts.
Key Points Discussed
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Reasons for the Breakup
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Lifestyle Differences:
Melissa values an active lifestyle and healthy habits. She noticed her ex-boyfriend’s increased weed consumption, excessive junk food intake, and reliance on takeout services like UberEats.
Caller:
"He was coming home from work and smoking weed immediately after and before bed... spending a lot of money on UberEats." [35:34] -
Emotional Handling and Family Dynamics:
The boyfriend displayed aggressive and toxic behavior during conflicts, particularly concerning his relationship with his brother and parents.
Caller:
"He was really heated... I don’t want that to be me." [38:32]
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Breakup Process
- Melissa chose to end the relationship after meeting her parents, believing that her ex’s behavior made her uncomfortable. She approached the breakup with honesty, despite feeling guilty about the confrontation.
Caller:
"I just felt like I needed to be honest about what I was feeling." [45:27]
- Melissa chose to end the relationship after meeting her parents, believing that her ex’s behavior made her uncomfortable. She approached the breakup with honesty, despite feeling guilty about the confrontation.
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Emotional Aftermath and Guilt
- Post-breakup, Melissa grapples with feelings of guilt and questioning whether she handled the situation correctly, especially given her ex’s emotional responses and lack of understanding.
Caller:
"I feel a lot of guilt... I feel like an idiot because of the way he treated me." [50:15]
- Post-breakup, Melissa grapples with feelings of guilt and questioning whether she handled the situation correctly, especially given her ex’s emotional responses and lack of understanding.
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Lessons Learned
- Natalie highlights the importance of trusting one’s instincts, setting boundaries, and being clear about non-negotiables in relationships.
- Emphasizes distinguishing between pet peeves and non-negotiable traits that impact relationship health.
Advice Given
Natalie offers Melissa guidance on navigating breakups and recognizing red flags:
- Trust Your Gut: Emphasize the importance of trusting personal feelings and instincts when making relationship decisions.
- Be Direct and Honest: Encourage clear and honest communication about reasons for the breakup to avoid prolonged misunderstandings.
- Set Boundaries: Advise maintaining boundaries post-breakup to prevent emotional manipulation or prolonged distress.
- Future Relationship Insights: Suggest reflecting on the lessons learned to identify non-negotiable traits and healthy relationship dynamics in the future.
Notable Quotes
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Caller:
"He was treating me in a way that I honestly haven't been treated before... very considerate." [43:03]
"His whole mentality was like, 'Fuck him. You're dead to me.'" [40:49] -
Natalie:
"You just gotta trust your gut. You're not obligating yourself to save them." [50:00]
"Be direct. Explain how his behavior made you uncomfortable and why it's a non-negotiable for you." [63:49]
Concluding Insights
Episode E970 of The Viall Files delves into the intricate challenges faced by individuals dealing with compromised loved ones and personal relationship dilemmas. Through empathetic conversations, Natalie Joy underscores the importance of understanding underlying emotional drivers, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering open communication. The episode serves as a valuable resource for listeners navigating similar issues, offering actionable advice rooted in empathy and personal empowerment.
Notable Quotes Summary:
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Sister:
"It's tough. Who does she think she's in love with?" [02:05]
"I love him." [22:25] -
Melissa:
"I feel a lot of guilt... I feel like an idiot because of the way he treated me." [50:15] -
Natalie:
"Your mom's being taken advantage of... She has someone who she's building a relationship with who makes her feel seen and heard." [05:49]
"You just gotta trust your gut." [50:00]
This structured and detailed summary captures the essence of episode E970, providing clarity and comprehensive coverage of the critical discussions between the host and the listeners.
