105: Amy Miller | The Wayback with Ryan Sickler #105 | Full Episode

Summary

The Wayback with Ryan Sickler – Episode 105: Amy Miller

Release Date: January 1, 2026
Guest: Amy Miller

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Episode Overview

In this memorable and candid installment of The Wayback, Ryan Sickler welcomes comedian Amy Miller for a trip through her childhood, adolescence, and the sometimes absurd, sometimes dark past that shaped her. True to the podcast’s ethos, the episode mixes Amy’s irreverent wit with wistful reflections on family, faith, trauma, and what it was like growing up as the youngest in a chaotic Bay Area household. Listeners are treated to stories both hilarious and harrowing—from church van rides and summer camp crushes to survival tactics in small-town high school and revelations about Amy’s family.

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Major Discussion Points and Insights

1. Amy’s Early Family Life & The “Wayback” Seat

[06:02 – 11:32]

• Amy is the youngest of four siblings, with her mother having four kids by three different fathers. Her sisters share one father, the man Amy grew up with until his death.
  • “My mom had four kids by three dads… I’m the youngest.” (06:32, Amy)
• Childhood transportation stories: “Wayback” seat meant loose in the back of an open pickup or buried under camping gear in the family Suburban.
  • “Really, more of my way back seat would have been just loose in the back of an open pickup.” (07:30, Amy)
• Home in El Sobrante (pronounced Elsa Brownie by locals)—a mix of urban and rural, working-class, “leftovers” in Spanish.
  • “We say everything up. It means the leftovers in Spanish… that's where I lived as a little kid.” (08:38, Amy)

2. Childhood Neighborhood & Family Oddities

[09:56 – 11:10]

• Amy reminisces about the family home (corner of Olinda and Valley View): a house with a perpetually broken-down boat as childhood clubhouse, and a failed DIY houseboat project.
  • “That boat was there my whole childhood… We would play inside the boat. It was kind of a little clubhouse.” (10:25, Amy)
  • Her brother lived in a makeshift plywood houseboat for a time.

3. School Transitions & Moving to Redding

[11:32 – 12:22]

• Family moved to Redding, CA for her mother’s job when Amy was starting high school—major culture shock, but Amy returned to the East Bay every chance she got.
  • “I went to high school there, but I never claim it as from there and I hated it. It was huge culture shock.” (12:04, Amy)

4. Christian Schooling & Fire-and-Brimstone Faith

[12:25 – 19:18]

• Attended Sherwood Forest Free Will Baptist Church/school, a “very conservative, fire and brimstone kind of place.”
  • “Our history and science was the Bible… we didn’t really get a true education.” (13:44, Amy)
• Teachers weren’t credentialed; anyone from the congregation could lead a class.
  • “They’d just pluck anyone and be like, ‘Do you want to teach third grade?’” (13:45, Amy)
• Youth pastor and music teacher, Jeff Dallin, later convicted as a serial child molester—dark revelations, church’s refusal to acknowledge or support survivors.
  • “So, they brought in the pastor’s wife’s son to be our youth pastor… he molested a bunch of kids there and now he’s in prison for real.” (15:21, Amy)
  • “The church said, ‘The devil got to Pastor Jeff… but at least he didn’t end up like Greg, a regular gay man.’” (17:15, Amy)
• The trauma and denial echo themes of faith, survival, and the darkness lurking in nostalgic memories.

5. Diversity, Culture Shock & Academics

[19:27 – 21:04]

• El Sobrante’s diversity (Black, Asian, Latino, white) vs. overwhelmingly white Redding.
  • “I was just total fish out of water… Very culture shocky.” (19:56, Amy)
• Maintained Christian club activities in high school, participating in wider Christian youth events.

6. Christian Summer Camp: Faith Meets Flirtation

[21:08 – 32:36]

• Describes church summer camp dynamics in the Santa Cruz Mountains: daily Bible study, competitive “Bible drills,” nightly evangelical services where kids would get “saved”—often multiple times.
  • “My favorite was always Bible drills… I crushed at Bible drills. So fast. I know all the books.” (23:06 & 24:09, Amy)
  • “There were kids got saved every single night. I’ve been saved probably 30, 35 times.” (25:31, Amy)
• Camp's covert romantic/sexual undertones:
  • Top bunk as private space, her first masturbation (“grinding on the edge of that top bunk”) with a summer crush in mind.
    • “I definitely masturbated for the first time at camp… to the thought of… Skyler. I ended up bagging him. We held hands.” (31:02, Amy)
  • Summer camp rituals (“campfire date” as social hierarchy), competitive friendships and crushes, performing religious songs for attention.
    • “Campfire night… If you turn into an old [sic], you’re a loser. Kids would write me letters through the school year.” (29:39, Amy)
• Church van as a tool for recruiting “neglected” or “abandoned” kids for church events.

7. Church, Patriotism, and Public School Life

[34:04 – 36:37]

• “See You at the Pole”—national Christian student movement: public prayer around school flagpoles as outward display of faith and patriotism.
  • “You would go stand around the flagpole… so as all the other kids are showing up, then they know, oh, these are who the Christians are.” (35:00, Amy)
• The culture of Christian merchandise—T-shirts, music, and the marketing of faith.
  • “Christian bookstores were a massive thing… your God merch.” (36:28, Amy)

8. Blended Families, Secrets, and DNA Surprises

[36:49 – 37:49]

• Amy found out at age 30 that the man she believed to be her biological father wasn’t; her mother had kept the truth from her.
  • “When I was 30, I found out that my dad was not my real dad.” (37:41, Amy)
• Family photos spur dark humor about heritage and family “secrets.”

9. Choir, Singing, and the Pull of Performing

[38:14 – 39:29]

• Participation in high school and adult choirs; classical soprano training.
• Comedy career later makes choir commitments difficult, but Amy returns to singing as emotional self-care after a rough breakup.
  • “Comedy kind of ruined it… but after my breakup I joined the LA Community College Chorus.” (39:14, Amy)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Amy on the church’s response to abuse revelations:

“The church said, ‘The devil got to Pastor Jeff and he just succumbed to temptation. But at least he didn’t end up like Greg, a regular gay man.’ That’s how dark they are.”
(17:15, Amy)

Amy’s description of campfire culture at Christian camp:

“The whole goal is the last night of camp, there’s a campfire. You gotta get a date. You go turn into an old, you’re a loser… I’m trying to get one of the bad boys.”
(29:39, Amy)

First awakening at camp:

“I definitely masturbated for the first time at camp…to the thought of Skyler. I ended up bagging him. We held hands.”
(31:03, Amy)

Ryan, on Amy’s church upbringing:

“This story coupled with what the dude did is getting so…wait, the book’s laid open and you’ve got eight fingers just ready to octopus it or something?”
(24:33, Ryan)

Amy, about being recruited to church via van:

“The van would come around and pick up, you know, abandoned kids. That’s how we started to go—cuz we were just neglected. My dad was like, well, football’s on Sunday, so yeah, take my kids in your van, strange man.”
(26:13, Amy)

Amy, on diversity versus the move to Redding:

“Very mixed… and then in Redding I was just total fish out of water… so new school, no friends, just hated it.”
(21:04, Amy)

Amy, on family secrets:

“When I was 30, I found out that my dad was not my real dad…”
(37:41, Amy)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:17 – Amy’s introduction
• 06:02 – Sibling structure and family seating arrangements
• 08:38 – El Sobrante described
• 10:25 – The forever-dry boat and DIY houseboat stories
• 12:04 – The move to Redding and culture shock
• 13:44 – Sherwood Forest Free Will Baptist School details
• 15:21 – Scandal of youth pastor, church’s reaction
• 17:15 – Church’s preference for a molester over a gay member
• 19:56 – School diversity and transition to culture shock
• 23:06 – Competitive Bible drills (Bible verse speed contests)
• 25:31 – Nightly evangelical “salvation” rituals at camp
• 29:39 – The social importance of campfire night & relationships at camp
• 31:02 – Amy’s first sexual awakening (masturbation at camp)
• 34:04 – “See You at the Pole” Christian school event
• 36:28 – Christian merchandise and stores
• 37:41 – The family secret: learning of her biological father
• 39:14 – Returning to choir after a breakup

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Final Notes

Amy Miller’s appearance on The Wayback is both poignantly funny and raw—an illuminating portrait not only of her individual survival and humor but also of the contradictory forces at play in American childhood: faith and trauma, nostalgia and revelation, wholesome traditions and their darker undercurrents. The episode is rich with anecdote, insight, warmth, and Amy’s signature sharp, self-aware comedy.

Promo Info:

• See Amy Miller live: tour dates at amymillercomedy.com
• Instagram: @amymillercomedy

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(This summary covers the essential stories, themes, and character of the conversation, preserving the candid tone and memorable lines of the participants. Ads, announcements, and non-content have been omitted.)

Transcript

[A]

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Like my American Express Platinum Card. I love that I can earn hotel credits when I travel. I can also earn resi credits so you know I'm hitting the restaurants everyone's talking about. Plus, with the digital entertainment credit, I'm even more excited to catch my favorite shows. All in all, I can access over $3,500 in annual value with benefits and eligible purchases across travel, entertainment and more. Learn [e-mail] Explore Platinum Enrollment Requirements Monthly and other limits in Terms Apply. Hey guys, very important announcement. Do not Skip this on January 6th. We are doing our Best of 2025 Honeydew with y' all review and our special guest this time is Tom Segura. So here's the deal. We are shifting the start time of that episode to 9:00pm Eastern, 6:00pm Pacific and I will be live in the comments with you the entire episode. All right, so Click the link in the description. Set your reminders now. I will be in the live chat with you guys the whole time. Join me. Let's have some fun with it. And Thursday, January 8th is the episode of the Way Back with my brothers. You guys been asking for years. There it is. So make sure you click that link. Now. Set your reminder. I'll see you all in the premiere. Hey, baby, we going to be here all day. We going to be here all day, baby. I like this kind of party. Welcome back to the Way Back, everybody. Ryan Sickler here. Thank you guys for supporting this show. Thanks for supporting anything. I do still make sure you're out there supporting and watching the special live and alive. Very excited to have this guest back here with us today. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Amy Miller. Welcome to the Way Back, Amy.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

It's very nice to see you.

[B]

It's so good to see you.

[A]

You look fantastic. I love this outfit.

[B]

You too. You look great.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

You know I love you. I know you love in an inappropriate amount.

[A]

You have been very clear, very clear.

[B]

Too clear.

[A]

Very clear. Over.

[B]

Nothing's happened ever.

[A]

It hasn't.

[B]

And I'm pissed.

[A]

But you.

[B]

But you've been clear about explicit. Some might say, I love you.

[A]

I know. You're sweet. You're sweet. Before we get into your crazy, you're. You're a female in comedy, so you're crazy. You are a great taste, but I love you.

[B]

I love you, too. As a friend.

[A]

Right there. Promote everything you'd like, please. Amy Miller.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Just follow me on Instagram, Amy Miller Comedy. And then come see me in Seattle at the end of January. And then all my tour dates are@amymiller comedy.com.

[A]

Go see. Go see me.

[B]

I'm a fun time.

[A]

If you've been out to see Tom, you may have seen Amy before. I'll tell you. Can I just say, before we get into your story, the fucking show we got to do with Tom. I mean, first of all, we're getting to perform at the Forum.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That's insane. I'm not even from California. And that's the great Western. Like, come on. That's crazy. And who opens up?

[B]

Too short. I had to follow it.

[A]

That is great.

[B]

And I always come out to blow the whistle. That's right up. For 15 years, I've been coming out to Global Whistle and then I had to follow it live. And I felt like it was really sweet because Tom hadn't told me. So then I felt like he Was maybe trying to keep it a surprise because I had no idea that's how Tom does.

[A]

Like about the Brad Pitt thing. I had no idea. And I'm like, how did you know he was coming? He never.

[B]

But then two nights before, Josh Potter was like, yeah, I guess I can't get on the forum show because two shorts gonna be on it. And I was like, I feel like maybe that was a surprise also. I don't give a.

[A]

It's not. That's not just some chump.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Tom's nephew's on or some like that. It's too short.

[B]

Christina's going up, I guess. Yeah. It was so crazy.

[A]

That was crazy.

[B]

Oh yeah. Just being in the. On the side with Tom and just like, just, you know, just rapping every word to Blowjob Betty. And those security guards were just like. Because a lot of those guys know me because I'm on the road with him. And they're like, okay, we didn't know you were like this.

[A]

Well, not only are you like that, that's your area. That you're Bay Area girl for sure. Two shorts home spot there. So let's talk about it. I always try to start the episodes with this way back seat here. Have you ever been in this seat?

[B]

Yes. I'm the youngest of a big family.

[A]

How many?

[B]

There's also a lot of people in it. It's my little joke, cuz we're all fat. Four kids, but then always just some strays. You stray kids and cousins and whatever.

[A]

But let me get this straight out first so I can follow along.

[B]

Yeah, mom and dad are together until he died.

[A]

But I mean those. The four of you siblings are both from mom and dad, or are we talking?

[B]

No, my mom had four kids by three dads. Okay, now we know that.

[A]

But you're the youngest.

[B]

I'm the youngest.

[A]

So you're the last of her children?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

As far as we know.

[A]

Right. Well. Oh, here we go.

[B]

Look at those cuties. Yeah. So my sisters have the same dad. That's the dad I grew up with till he died. And then look how cute I am. You know, my mom's cutting my bangs drunk.

[A]

Drunk.

[B]

They're chopped to death. My brother. So cute.

[A]

It really does look like she went in like this.

[B]

They were kitchen scissors.

[A]

Oh, hell yeah.

[B]

Could have been a knife. Really? Ryan. So cute. I didn't. Yeah, so I never.

[A]

Real quick, what's the age difference between you and the oldest?

[B]

10 years. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we. We had a Suburban with the. With the way back seat.

[A]

Wait, the Suburban faced out the back, too?

[B]

Yeah, there was one that popped up in the back, but really more of my way back seat would have been just loose in the back of an open pickup. Yeah. Like, either laying down so one saw us, or, like, you know, I'll go camping, and. And they would literally just pile the camping equipment all the way around and make a hole in the middle and then cover it with a tarp. And I should be back there with the RA person.

[A]

Is that why you hiding back there?

[B]

No, there's just no room in the cab.

[A]

So explain to people the East Bay area, because what a lot of people don't know is I've driven up and down before, too. Like, once you get outside of Los Angeles. Yeah, it is hillbilly country all the way to San Francisco. Like, it is very the Bakersfield areas, but East Bay, is it more like your area of it Oaklandy, like, city, or are you out in the country on that?

[B]

It's a mix. It's a mix. So, I mean, it's very, like, urban. But then where I lived as a little kid in El Sobrani.

[A]

What's it called?

[B]

Elsa? Brownie. I mean, it's El sobrante, but we say everything up. It means the leftovers in Spanish.

[A]

Does it really?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You guys are the leftovers.

[B]

So it gets like. You know, this is like, let's say 15 more minutes from Berkeley, and. And there's really gorgeous parts of it. I mean, you see all this granary and water.

[A]

Where are we looking in. In this?

[B]

Mm. And not a lot of people from there. Primus is from there. They're very proud of it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's super diverse, and it's. It was historically very working class, but then it gets. You know, it's like the rich neighborhood isn't even. You know, it's like where we went for the big candy bars.

[A]

They got some hills.

[B]

Gorgeous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Big reservoir that we grew up, you know, picnicking by and whatever. But it does get messy. A little messy and very white trash.

[A]

I know you don't have a list, and at first thought was messy, but then I heard, so messy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It gets a little sketchy.

[A]

So is this your. Your childhood home is in here? This area? Can we go to it? Do you remember the address?

[B]

Yeah, I think it's the corner of Olinda and Valley View.

[A]

This one right here?

[B]

Yep, that's us. A broken picture in there.

[A]

Tooth Anybody in there in 2007?

[B]

No. No, not at all. Oh, my mom's Boyfriend. So my mom's ex boyfriend bought it from her and then he ended up dying there and. Yep. And that's my dad's broken down boat. I swear.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

I swear that boat was there. My whole child just sat in there.

[A]

You never went out on the water.

[B]

And never saw it on the water till 2008. I know. @ Bob's house. Cuz Bob just didn't. So all this fence is up and people would hop over it all the time. And then we would play inside the boat. Like the cabin of the boat. It was kind of a little clubhouse for.

[A]

Me.

[B]

Yeah. And then for a while on this other side there was a houseboat.

[A]

Well.

[B]

What? My dad tried to build his own.

[A]

Houseboat.

[B]

What? But it was, that was torn down much earlier. Oh. He just like started a project in the yard. Like I'm gonna make my own.

[A]

Houseboat. I mean you don't even have the other boat running.

[B]

Yet. I know. And then my brother ended up living in it. It's basically. Yeah, it was a plywood box outside on some like metal pontoons. He, I don't know how he got this idea, but him and his brother were just like, we could make our own houseboat. It's not that.

[A]

Hard. How old are you when you leave.

[B]

Here?

[A]

13. So let's, let's check out your high school. What's your high.

[B]

School? Okay. But this is a whole other story. So for high school I moved to Redding, California with my mom and just one sister. Cuz she moved for a job. So we moved. But then it was, I don't know if you know, reading. I mean it's a pit stop on the i5 Northern California. But we might, me and my sister would come back every weekend and then spend all the summers in the East Bay. Like I, I, we didn't like settle there. You know what I mean? Like I went to high school there, but I never like claim it as being somewhere I'm from and I hated it. And it was huge culture shock. But soon as I graduated and I just came back to the East.

[A]

Bay. Wait, so let's go actually to your elementary school.

[B]

First.

[A]

Sure. So you, you're, you're a church.

[B]

Girl? Yeah. So on our block there's a, a church that also has a school. And so my sister and I started going to this church and then they put me in school there because they would take, they would take me at 4 years old like into kindergarten because I could already read and.

[A]

Everything.

[B]

Okay. And the public school wouldn't until the Next year. So. So I started going to this Christian school and I was basically in this building, you know, six days a week because I had school there. I would go to church on Sunday. Church Sunday night, Bible study Tuesday night. You know what I mean? I have vacation Bible school during the summers. I mean, Sherwood Forest is like Free Will.

[A]

Baptist. What is.

[B]

Church? It's a very small arm of the Baptist church that mostly exists small in Oklahoma and the Central Valley of.

[A]

California. Is it.

[B]

Here? And it's like walk. It was walkable from the house. Yeah. This is so wild to look at. There she.

[A]

Is. Free Will Baptist.

[B]

Church. Very conservative, fire and brimstone kind of place. And. Oh, and you could teach there. You could teach there. You didn't have to have any.

[A]

Credentials. What do you mean? You could just.

[B]

Walk. They would just pluck like anyone from the church and be like, do you want to teach third grade? We need somebody. Nobody was credentialed, had any experience. Yeah, but it's like our history and science was the Bible. Like we didn't really get a. A true education. That's the pastor's.

[A]

House. I was about to.

[B]

Ask. Yeah. Also known as a parsonage. So the pastor and his wife live in that house right behind the church. Free housing you get. And their Okies, they move from Californ or from.

[A]

Oklahoma. He was living in their trailer on their yard. One of.

[B]

The. Some nephew or her child molester son who's now in prison. Yeah. So they. So they brought in the pastor's wife's son to be our youth pastor and music.

[A]

Teacher. The youth pastor.

[B]

Now. Pastor Jeff Dallin, full name. Cuz he's in prison.

[A]

Currently. That's fine if he.

[B]

Is. Yeah. So they brought him in to be the youth pastor. And that was like, you know, he was like up after my dad died. Like a father figure in a way for me. He didn't get me and he didn't get my sister, thank God. I don't know why, because she's a real people pleaser, You know, she seems like the kind of kid he would target. But I. One day he just disappeared. Like the youth pastor's gone and.

[A]

We go 20s, like how old's this.

[B]

Guy? He was probably in his mid-30s at the.

[A]

Time. I.

[B]

Thought. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. And then so they sent him back to.

[A]

Oklahoma. So you actually spent.

[B]

Time. He molested a bunch of kids there and now he's in prison for real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it. And.

[A]

It'S. So did it come out how many people in your School also, because that's obviously. He didn't just go there and start.

[B]

Ryan. I wish when it came out and the news story dropped and then, you know, a bunch of people I went to church with growing up started talking about it. I contacted the church, that pastor just go over there. Milburn Wilson, by the way. You ever heard the name Milburn in your.

[A]

Life?

[B]

Australia. So I contact and I go, you know, maybe you guys could open up a conversation and say, you know, we. This is a safe space. If anybody was affected by this, man, we're sorry. And then, you know, they. They just didn't want to address it at all. And they said, you know, the devil got to Pastor Jeff and he just. He succumbed to temptation. And by the way, he. He got picked up for at least 40 kids in Oklahoma. Yeah. So, you know, it's hundreds. It's got to be hundreds over his career. Right? So dark career as a youth pastor, not a molester.

[A]

Right. I wasn't sure what you're talking. Oh, some seem.

[B]

Expensive. I mean, he's a Berry Bonds of.

[A]

Molesting. Oh, my.

[B]

God. But we had a kid we went to church with who since then had, like, come out, and he changed his name because, you know, he just was not a friendly place to be gay, obviously, which is wild because we're in the Bay Area, by the way, and let's say his name's Greg. And so Greg, you know, was talking with me and my sister, like, oh, isn't this crazy? Like, Pastor Jeff's in prison and all this stuff. And so when I hit up the church to say, you know, this is really up. Like, you guys let this man around us teaching us. My sister and I used to babysit for his kids, go in the car alone with him, like, crazy stuff. And. And, you know, they go, oh, well, yeah, the devil got to Pastor Jeff. But at least he didn't end up like Greg, a regular gay man. Like, that's how dark they are.

[A]

Yes. Hold.

[B]

On.

[A]

Yes. They were like, we'd rather have a molesty.

[B]

Son. Yes. Gay son, 100. Yeah. And it was just like, oh, you guys are so far gone. By the way, he was also molesting boys. So, of course. Of course, that's not a very straight thing. No. Sick, sick.

[A]

People. What a. Turn this stuff off the road right now. It's just all dust back here. Holy. Holy.

[B]

Crap. I told you there. There's not a lot of fun memories from my child. Well, well, look at.

[A]

That. How about this one right.

[B]

Here? Okay. Because sometimes my sister Renee would do my hair.

[A]

Fancy. And then you'll go do a.

[B]

Photo. Oh, yeah. Photo shoot in the front yard. Pose. And she would be like, yeah. Put your hand on you, by the way. The same hands. They haven't grown. Not a.

[A]

Change. Put your hand on your.

[B]

Hip. How gorgeous. That. Oh, yeah. Feather. My bangs and just.

[A]

Adorable. Yeah, big.

[B]

Bangs. I mean, there's probably 65 pounds of dog around.

[A]

Me. Let's go look at your high school. Let's see where you went to high school. What's that.

[B]

Called? Shasta.

[A]

High. Shasta. Is that also Christian? Is all of your schooling under the.

[B]

Religious. No, that's when you went to Ready? Yeah, yeah. Shasta is a public school in Reading. But I did, like, maintain my. Like, I was in the Christian club and helped, like, organize the Christian club at high.

[A]

School. Come.

[B]

On. Oh, my.

[A]

God. Suzuki Samurai. What year is this? What year is.

[B]

This? Tight. Oh, my God. That gym teacher just can't afford a new.

[A]

Car. I mean, Suzuki Samurais came out, like, the 90s. What year is that? Somebody still.

[B]

Wild. Yeah, I went. I was just total fish out of water. Because this place, I mean, this part of Northern California is, like, extremely white. So it was very culture shocky for me to be plucked out. Go new school, no friends. Never been to this.

[A]

Place. Like, Latino, black, in El Sobran, Asian. What are you.

[B]

Getting? Everything. Black, Asian. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, literally everything. Like, my best friends in elementary school. I think we have a picture from the spelling bee of Becky and.

[A]

Terence. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Like, that's. You know, it's like my best friends are black, Chinese, white kid.

[A]

Black. Yeah. White girl, Asian.

[B]

Girl. Yeah. We, me and Becky went. Ended up going to Berkeley at the same time, going to college together. But she crushed me on this spelling be. I'm pissed. In this photo, she won. I hated it. We were always neck and neck, and we would swap. First place. Terence is just happy to have.

[A]

Second. You know, this kid over here on the left, he didn't go well. He's just like, I can't believe I'm.

[B]

In. No, it's very, very mixed all over the place. And then. And then. And Ready. I don't know if it's still like this, I think to some extent, but it's just. It doesn't feel like California in any way. Yeah, it's like, it's why they don't even have, like, a lot of Mexicans there. Like, it's just like, what are we doing up here, guys? So new school, no friends. Just hated.

[A]

It. What about this Christian summer camp. What was this all.

[B]

About? Oh, so through Sherwood Forest. You know, we would go to camp every summer out in the Santa Cruz Mountains.

[A]

And. And how are you getting there? You guys go on buses, vans.

[B]

The church van, Brown church van. Oh.

[A]

Yeah. Who's driving.

[B]

That? Pastor.

[A]

Jeff. Oh.

[B]

God. My sister's in the front seat, teacher's pet. Oh, those cabins. I would always get the top bunk, too, because, I don't know, it just felt like more private. I got good sleep up there because I'd crack my little window and then have that. Oh, seriously, I'll crack that little window and then the mountain airs coming on my. Coming on my face. And listen, it's summer camp, technically, and is this. But we have to study the Bible. Oh, no, coed.

[A]

Coed. Because in the same bunks and stuff.

[B]

Same. No, no, no. We had girls cabins and boys.

[A]

Cabins.

[B]

Okay. The boys were all the way up on a different hill. But. But it's. We have, you know, we do play sports. Softball, volleyball, everything. Swim. But we're studying the Bible at summer camp. You are all morning, long before lunch. It's nothing.

[A]

But. And when you say studying, are we reading? Are you, like. Are they quizzing you? Like, will they ask you? Amy, what was that passage about.

[B]

What it means to.

[A]

You? I've been to church, but not. Not that.

[B]

Stuff. Listen, there's a.

[A]

Variety. I grew up Catholic, and I grew up, I would say, 80s Catholic, meaning we went to church for the big events, the Christmas, Easter, any funerals or weddings. Of course, I did have to go to Sunday school, so I went to Sunday school at the church, all the.

[B]

Way. Cool. But at camp, and we're all just itching to get out and go play, you know, you do. My favorite was always Bible.

[A]

Drills. So what the Is a Bible.

[B]

Drill? So everybody sits with their own Bible bring. You got to bring your own. I still have my Bibles. I got a Precious Moments Bible that's heavily, heavily highlighted. The lessons that I would circle are hilarious. My personality never changed. Like this passage in the New Testament about watching basically not using dirty words. Oh, that first one. So beautiful. I have this at home. I should have brought it, but I was really connecting with this one verse about just not using dirty words or saying foul things. No, I'm a comedian. But you sit with your Bible, and then, you know, the teacher or whatever would just yell out a Bible verse, and you have to flip to it the fastest. Oh, I crushed at Bible drills. So fat. I know all the.

[A]

Books. Amy. Amy's Got it, guys. All.

[B]

Right. And then you read the verse out loud. I still know all the books in order. I know there's a song. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John X, and the letter to the Romans. I won't do the whole thing, but I was quick, quick with.

[A]

It. You could use a thumbing the shit.

[B]

Out. I had technique. Like I would, you know, have like eight fingers in, you know, and know.

[A]

Roughly. Listen, this story coupled with what the dude did and everything is getting so wait, the book's laid open and you've got eight figures, like just ready to octopus it or something open to.

[B]

The middle, you know, crack it basically half and half and then kind of know roughly what book I was in on each.

[A]

Side. And was it that real thin Bible paper.

[B]

Though? Ecclesiastes. I'm like, that's middle finger and then flip close to.

[A]

It. You're using your fingers for.

[B]

Chapters. Yeah, well, books, they're called books of the Bible.

[A]

Right? Whatever.

[B]

Wow. I hated to.

[A]

Lose. All.

[B]

Right, so we would do that all morning and then get into normal camp activities. But the real shit was we had a service every night. And it was dramatic. I mean, there were kids got saved every single.

[A]

Night. What do you mean.

[B]

Saved? Give your heart to Christ. Admit you know that you're a sinner and ask him for help and let Jesus into your heart. Which in theory is something you should only have to do once. But yeah, I've been saved probably 30, 35 times.

[A]

Yes. What do you mean? Is this just what we call confession in cat where they.

[B]

Just. No, because it's.

[A]

Marriage. Get the out.

[B]

Here. Kids at an altar, weeping, crying. I mean, I'm eight and I'm like, I'm a sinner because of those dirty words that were in my head. Crying. It really became an opportunity to put your hands on a.

[A]

Boy. What do you mean? You're not individually down.

[B]

There. Listen, this just church would bring the. This church would bring the van around to pick up, you know, abandoned kids. That's how we started to go. Cuz we were just neglected. And you know, my dad was like, well, football's on Sunday, so yeah, take my kids in your van. Strange man. My parents didn't.

[A]

Go. Can I pause this for one second? Kirsten, look this up. It's called Church of the Open Door. You just made me remember this. Church of the Open Door. Westminster, Maryland. Let's put Maryland in.

[B]

There. You went down there and cried or they tried to get you.

[A]

To. Well, they would. Okay, so you're just reminding me of this right now. There it is right.

[B]

There. Do you. Did you go for a.

[A]

Girl? Nope, didn't. Never went. So we always had to go to St. Joe's Catholic Church. We were Catholic kids. But in our neighborhood, this weird blue bus would come.

[B]

By.

[A]

Yep. Slowly. And it would just stop. And if your parents wanted you to, you could. Anyone who wanted to could get on that weird bus. And then they would drive you to this church of the open door, it was called. And we were 25 minutes away. I can't. You're making me think, like. And we would always think it was creepy. Like why are they just slow rolling through the. It was like a blue. I think it was blue with like white church van. But anyway, I'm sorry to interrupt, but that's what it seems like. That's how maybe they rolled.

[B]

Through. Yes, that's how my sister. I started church cuz my parents were not Christian. Yeah, they didn't give.

[A]

A. And they were like, must be good.

[B]

People. My mom. My dad wants to watch the.

[A]

Game.

[B]

Yeah. I mean he's worked hard all.

[A]

Week. Okay. That's what I.

[B]

Understand. So we.

[A]

Took. Got.

[B]

It. So we, yeah, we took the church van to camp. But the. But the service every night. Yeah, basically, you know, they would con, you know, some of these hot center teens to camp, you know, and by the way, me and my sister, we're all the way. We're trying to save people. Like we're spreading the good news all around our.

[A]

Lives. Everything's fine.

[B]

Guys. Oh yeah. Praying for our parents. Tom, our grandmother, she's going to.

[A]

Hell. Like you would tell your.

[B]

Grandma. Yes. Why? She's drinking and.

[A]

Smoking. Oh, just drinking and.

[B]

Smoking? Yeah. She had sex before marriage. Now look at my beautiful.

[A]

Grandma. Now who's this mom and grandma? Look at.

[B]

These. Well, that's the thing is my parents said, okay, take my little girls to church. And then now you, now we're coming back and those precious faces, you know, five, seven years old, are going, we heard you guys are going to.

[A]

Hell. They're like, God damn.

[B]

It. Yeah, we're praying for you. Yeah. For a lot. Yeah. So the, so the non Christian, you know, the target teens or whatever, like people we're trying to save will come to camp. And you know, and they're cute because they're the bad boys. Right. So the goal is get them down to the.

[A]

Front. Here we.

[B]

Go. Crying, admitting their sinners. And then you go give them a little.

[A]

Massage. A little.

[B]

Massage? Yeah, Big boner. Feel your tears hitting each other, you know, for cry. So every Night. I'm going.

[A]

Down.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It was erotic. And the whole goal is the last night of camp there's a campfire. And if you got to get like a date, right, you gotta get a date.

[A]

Up. Sexual tension of these teenagers going into that.

[B]

Thing. And if you go turn into an old, you're a loser. I had kids that asked me the campfire every. Tim Hubbard, God bless him, every year. I said, no, no. He would write me letters throughout the school year. He kept saying he'd be like, I got my braces off, so hopefully you'll go campfire with me this year. And I'm like, it's not happening, Tim. I'm trying to get one of the bad boys. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's so beautiful out there.

[A]

Too. It is pretty out.

[B]

There. Oh.

[A]

Yeah. Real redwoods and stuff.

[B]

Out.

[A]

Yeah. Like, not these little tiny ones, like.

[B]

Ah. And then me and my sister would sing at the services. Duets. Oh, angels, give me a little.

[A]

Taste. Just give me a little taste of something you would.

[B]

Sing. No, I can't. I'm sure you know our God is an awesome.

[A]

God. I don't know that. You know that.

[B]

Kirsten. You know that our God is an awesome God. He reigns from heaven above with Whis. I don't want to sing those songs like.

[A]

This. Are you locking eyes with the boy you like when you're singing.

[B]

It? Of course, of.

[A]

Course. Love your.

[B]

Style. I definitely masturbated for the first time at Camp Coin. And to the thought of on.

[A]

Purpose. That.

[B]

It? Skyler, Toby. Yeah. I ended up bagging him. He became my boyfriend when we were 12. You had big.

[A]

Raiders. How old were you when you had sex for the first.

[B]

Time? No, no, no. Not when I say bagging. I mean, we held.

[A]

Hands.

[B]

Okay? No, no. I didn't have sex till college because of Christ. Okay, so he just became my.

[A]

Boyfriend. So wait, but it was the first camp and you masturbate to the thought of this.

[B]

Kid. Yeah. I was grinding on the edge of that top.

[A]

Bunk. I mean, that's why you're up at the top. Let's be honest. You figured it.

[B]

Out. The girl downstairs must have felt some shaking. Oh, yeah. And then I got that breeze going through the little window. I mean, when we got out of the van, first day, I would run to the cabin to claim my favorite bunk that my favorite bunk to.

[A]

Hum. Oh, my God, that is.

[B]

Hilarious. And then, because also I was doing that and having lustful thoughts, then I had to get saved again. Every.

[A]

Night? No, with our confession we have to say. You don't have to say out loud. I.

[B]

Masturbated. Okay. No, we don't have.

[A]

Confession. His.

[B]

Back. Skyler's going to be jacked to hear this, but. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean I. We're still friendly. I mean he's a father and a priest, but, you know, we had a childhood love. We only held hands, which without us having filthy.

[A]

Thoughts. He know about this though? Did you ever confess to.

[B]

Him? No, I don't think.

[A]

So. He's going to find out now.

[B]

About we didn't have confession but. But that this is so dark. But for someone like Pastor Jeff Dallin, it is. There's the kind of confession because he would try to kind of corner my sister. I'm so happy he didn't abuse her. Like against all odds. He would take her aside, you know, have private time with kids and be like, I've heard basically make up rumors that weren't true and go, oh, some of the other kids said, you know, you've been having lustful thoughts or you've been swearing or you've been. And watching rated R movies. They would come for us for like listening to secular music. And then my sister would be like, people are saying, but it's just.

[A]

Only allowed to listen to Christian music too. Oh yeah, or any of stuff on the.

[B]

Radio. I mean we did, but we felt guilty about it. Not at all. We went to a lot of Christian music concerts and that was cute. Boy central. No, no, any of that. You know, I supposed to watch a movie over like pg. A lot of those people didn't like play cards even. It was like gambling adjacent. So yeah, we didn't have confession. But it's like, you know, sometimes the pastor takes you into his office to be like, I've heard you've been sinning. And then you're supposed to be like, sorry, and then you get saved again. But I really was at camp to.

[A]

Flirt. Yeah, you made that clear.

[B]

Insane. I have not.

[A]

Changed. Show off your talents. Yeah. What's.

[B]

That? This is me as Enid from Ghost World for Halloween in.

[A]

College. Okay. Where are you in.

[B]

College? It's a pretty dead on, yeah, pretty dead on costume. But I dyed my hair black for the costume instead of getting.

[A]

Away. Oh, that's not a.

[B]

Wig. No, it was a pretty rough grow out period because then I just like look like a fat goth. I don't know. Actually the thinnest I've ever been in my.

[A]

Life. What? See you at the.

[B]

Pole. Oh, so see you at the.

[A]

Poll. Was it.

[B]

Here? Yeah. It was an event for Christian kids at public schools around the country. This happened. It was a huge deal that you would go stand around the flagpole. So it was like patriotic Christianity, standard, the best guy. I mean, there's no other way to do it. And nothing's gone wrong in this.

[A]

Country because of it for patriotism or religion. Come on, come.

[B]

On. And you stand in a circle around the pole before school so that as all the other kids are showing up, then they know, like, oh, these are who the Christians are. It's like, to show your commitment to Christ and pray for your fellow students who are not Christian. And you sing songs and just pray. And it's. It was a massive event in the.

[A]

90S. So.

[B]

You. Early.

[A]

90S. So I just want to understand this. So let's say they say 9:00am that's.

[B]

Happening.

[A]

Yeah. Across the country. All the Christian kids at all the schools would do the ice.

[B]

Yeah. The fourth Wednesday of every.

[A]

September. The fourth Wednesday every September. Well done.

[B]

Kirsten. It's still going.

[A]

On. Oh, we just missed it a couple months.

[B]

Ago. I'm like, any way that I can hold hands with a.

[A]

Boy. But I bet you they live stream it now, though, you know what I mean? With all the technology.

[B]

Nowadays.

[A]

Absolutely. Look at this. See you at the poll. It's called. So wait, how many kids in your school would you say circled.

[B]

Around? Probably there were a lot of Christian kids in Reading. Yeah, it's a pretty Christian little town. Probably like.

[A]

100. Whoa. That's way more than I thought. I thought it was like 80. Just holding it, like stretching.

[B]

It. I'm gonna get that merch, by the way, right now. I used to love a Christian T shirt. Oh. I mean, like, literally, like Christ bleeding on the.

[A]

Cross. That was like.

[B]

Huh? My T shirt. Yeah. Because Christian bookstores were a massive thing. You get. That's where you get your CDs and your fancy Bibles and your merch, your God merch. I'm gonna go to see you at the bowl right.

[A]

Now. I can't wait to see you again after this, out in public. And I have a whole new view of you. Look at this.

[B]

One. All right. That's our house in Elsa Brownie. And I. I don't know. I don't.

[A]

Know. So your hair color right now is pretty similar. I mean, is that. Is that you, like, what do you say, Dirty blonde? Or is that strawberry blonde? Is that pretty much what you were growing.

[B]

Up? This is. I know. And you see the picture of my dad and it's not a shock that I was not his kid. But she really. She really tried to act like I was for a.

[A]

While. This your biological.

[B]

Dad? Clearly.

[A]

Not.

[B]

Why? I mean, that's what my mom said. Because. Look at him. It looks.

[A]

Portuguese. I was gonna say he kind of looks Greek. A little or whatever. Yeah. Still be. He's not black.

[B]

Or. Look at my little face. What.

[A]

Happened? Somebody you.

[B]

Up? I know. I don't know what happened.

[A]

Yeah. Any pets? Did a pet get.

[B]

You? Yeah, one of the.

[A]

Cats. So you're saying mom tried to sell. She did tell you he was your.

[B]

Biological. Yeah. When I was 30, I found out that my dad was not my real dad. And then this is their wedding day in.

[A]

Reno. Look at.

[B]

That. They gambled the night away. My mom's up drunk in this photo. Yeah, dude. She's like, I'll marry him. Whatever. I. Oh, my God.

[A]

Insane. Let's look at one.

[B]

More. That stash is pretty.

[A]

Tight. That is a.

[B]

Badass. So.

[A]

Embarrassing. Got another.

[B]

One. Died when I was nine. Still my type, kind.

[A]

Of. Look at this. Where are we.

[B]

Here? This is me in high school at the madrigal.

[A]

Dinner. What's the.

[B]

Matter? It's like. It was like an Elizabethan themed choir dinner where we would sing I'm holding some figgy puddings. It's a Christmas event. And we would go. We would dress up and speak in an English accent and. Is a choir event? Yeah, I was really into choir. I mean, I. I still kind of.

[A]

Am. What do you mean? You sing in a.

[B]

Choir?

[A]

Yeah. You do right.

[B]

Now? Well, not anymore. I was a classical soprano in my adult life as well. All through college, high school, everything. And then comedy kind of ruined it because there's just too many rehearsals and I can't, like, do shows with when you're in a choir. But then I just a minor meltdown after my breakup this year. Oh, no, it's okay. I joined the LA Community College Chorus and it was great. But I was like, these people are. But it's community college in la, so it's literally just. Anyone can wander in off the street. Yes, they can take a.

[A]

Class. Yes, yes, they.

[B]

Can. But then the dress rehearsal is on a night that I am on the road, so the director was like, you can't. You can't be in the choir this semester, but maybe next year. I really miss it.

[A]

Yeah. This has been a fantastically informative, fun episode. Thank you for doing.

[B]

This. I feel.

[A]

Embarrassed. Don't you dare. I mean, we haven't even got into the deep stuff yet. Ah, look at little Amy. Oh, there's for sure strawberry.

[B]

Blonde. I don't.

[A]

Experience. Right there. What is.

[B]

That? Yeah, it's my Raggedy and all. Exactly right. What a cutie. Same hands, same.

[A]

Hands. Promote right there. One more time.

[B]

Please. Oh, yeah. Just follow me on Instagram, Amy Miller comedy. And then come see me in Seattle at the end of January, if you live in Seattle. And then everything else is@amymiller.

[A]

Comedy.Com. that's it. Thank you for doing this. Thanks, Ryan, as always. Thank you. Guys. Guys, we'll talk to you all next.