A (1:17)

Have you ever ridden in this seat?

B (1:19)

Yes, I have. Not in that car. It was. I can't remember. It was my dancing friends, the Borlands.

A (1:24)

Okay, so the Borlands are, like, picking you up and commuting.

B (1:27)

And I always had to go in the back. I was so car sick, I'd be back. Oh, I can't. Oh, yeah. Like, on the way to competitions. I'd be so sick.

A (1:36)

Do you remember what kind of car it was?

B (1:39)

It was a gray. It looked like a station wagon, but there was no wood. It was, like, all gray. I remember that. And it was so dirty. There's always, like, crumbs in it.

A (1:46)

Oh, really?

B (1:46)

Must just slopping around back there.

A (1:48)

And then you just sit there and get.

B (1:50)

Well, you want to hear something? I remember. Oh, my God. So they used to have we after, like, dancing competitions, they'd have all the girls back, so there'd be like, eight, ten girls. We'd all watch movies and whatever. And one day I found this video camera at their house. And this is When I was like young enough and I was like, probably like 12, 13, I wanted to like, you know, be an actor or whatever. And me and my friend Miranda went around their house and we're like, look at this bathroom grout. And like zooming in. I was like commentating rude stuff. We get to the dad's chair and he had this like this one chair, this brown chair, like a rocking chair. And it was so wet, he'd always sat in it. He like worn it down his wet arms. It was stunk. And I just made fun of like, oh my. Look at. I'm like, look at his wet chair. It's disgusting. There's crumbs everywhere. They found the tape and they didn't know and they played it. They were just like playing old family movies. And then this comes up years later, like, no, not that far down the line. And they call my parents, like, I think Stephanie owes his apology. I was so rude. My parents taught their kids they're what the Sam. Well, the chair is wet. Who cares if it's wet chair. Shut the wet chair. There's so much. It was funny though. I wish I could get that tape now and play that. Oh, speaking of old tapes. Oh, my God, I don't want to put it up, but my old hummer college. I went to a two year comedy program. When I say 18, 19. Yes. That's how Humber college. If you look up comedy polytechnic program alumni. Let's see. I guarantee I saw alumni. Yeah, there we go. Alumni. I should be.

A (3:20)

Who else should be?

B (3:22)

Like, I should be. I'm definitely in their alumni. There I am. There I am. Right under Jason Rouse.

A (3:28)

Do you know him? I know who he is.

B (3:30)

That's a hilarious. Oh, yeah, there I am. Wow. Stephanie to. Okay, that's that my teacher.

A (3:36)

Go back down. There's our girl, Deborah de Giovani.

B (3:40)

Deborah there, yeah. That's a horrible photo of her. What the to do with that photo? Insane. Anyways, my teacher found an old clip, one of my first standup clips, and sent it to me. Couldn't get through it. Hard to watch.

A (3:56)

I don't even want to. I have a audio tape of my very first set ever. And I just look at it every now and then. I don't.

B (4:02)

This needs to be. I. I wrote back, I go, if this ever sees the light of day, you will hear from my lawyers. Like, this cannot. This will not be anywhere. It's so bad. My opening joke used to be, sorry I'm late. I came on 30 seconds after my nose. Oh, God, so bad. I'm like, I, I, that's. It was so bad I put out there. But that's. No, don't look for that set because you're not gonna find it.

A (4:29)

Well, let's talk about Steph Tollev in high school because I hit you up and you're like, I've got some. Some stories to tell you about.

B (4:35)

I have. That's when I came out of my shell. I did everything I could do in high school.

A (4:40)

Like, what. What do we do?

B (4:41)

I mean, I started in. Was it grade nine? I was in. I was in the track team. I did cross country because my dad used to run. So here's the. Both my parents and my grandparents went to East York Collegiate. Eyci. You want to help? I am. I have East York tattooed on my.

A (4:58)

You really do.

B (5:00)

There she blows. That's your high school. That's actually right where my high school bully slapped me. You can see it on that little ledge right there. That's where. Where on that. There's a little. Little ledge right on the right hand side here. Yeah, that up. Up ledge there. On. No, towards the tree. Towards the post. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right there. That little ledge right there.

A (5:19)

Oh, I see this.

B (5:20)

Yeah, yeah, right there. That ledge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There she is. There she blows. So, yeah, grade nine, I was.

A (5:27)

This is an older school. If your grandparents are going there.

B (5:29)

Oh, yeah.

A (5:30)

Too. Okay.

B (5:31)

They were. My family was very into my prominent. My bro. My dad's brothers went to this high school.

A (5:36)

Oh, man.

B (5:38)

I graduated with honors. Can you believe it? My sister went to this high school.

A (5:43)

Was it harder for you because your parents were like. Or family had been through there or.

B (5:48)

No, I don't think so. Look at this school. So, Castle, I was arrested in grade 11 at this high school, and I was actually handcuffed right there. That's the exact spot I was handcuffed. The cop car is sitting right there. Wow. These memories. I think I. I think I did. I talked with this on the other podcast.

A (6:04)

I don't know.

B (6:04)

I got arrested for assault.

A (6:06)

You said it, but you didn't say what happened.

B (6:07)

No, no. I got arrested for assault. Me and my friend. It was my fault. I started the fight verbally because this one girl was giving my boyfriend at the time cut eye. I was dating this Yugoslavian guy, and I think it was my first boyfriend. And she would, like, draw. I throw the ball at her in, like, gym class. You drop it. I'm like, I'm very competitive. We must win. If you're on my team. We. We simply have to win. And then I. I confronted in the math hallway during lunch one day and I'm like, stop giving my boyfriend cut eye. You guys call it side eye or something.

A (6:36)

It's what I hear, side eye.

B (6:37)

Okay, I say we say cut eye. And then her friend pushed me and I was like, excuse me. And then I pushed her back. And then my other friend came in and we got in a bit of a tussle, a couple punches to the head. We, A math teacher comes out, splits us up, we run outside, we go to this like pizza place across the street. Like, I'm like, we're getting shit right? And my friend's like, we're fucked. So I go back to fifth period. My friend's like, I'm going home. Like I'm going back to class. It was presentation speaking. Mr. Black was my teacher. And I remember I went out and I. I was like, hey. At the end of class I'm like, there cameras in the school. And he's like, why? I go, I just need to know if there's cameras. And he goes, yes, there are. Stephanie, something you want to tell me? I go, no. Because I knew that they would see her pushing me first grade 10.

A (7:19)

But what year do you know?

B (7:20)

I don't know anything.

A (7:22)

This goes back to 2000.

B (7:23)

There I am. There she is. Holy. I over tweezed my eyebrows in a way. So this is my grade nine year. I was a full. They were called Ginas.

A (7:34)

What's a Gina?

B (7:34)

It was like a Greek. I like tweeze my eyebrows like this. I'd wear a release tight black clothing. I'd go clubbing on the weekends. I used to wear huge hoop earrings. I used to club. I used to grind so much when I was that age. I would. We would lie these all ages clubs helium. We used to go to the place called the dogs called Atlantis. Oh my God. I would. I listened to all like club music like Alice, DJ Darud, Sandstorm. I'm jamming it up like I had glow sticks. Oh my God.

A (8:00)

Wait, go back to the salt real quick.

B (8:02)

Okay, okay. So real quick I get.

A (8:05)

He asks, yes, there are, Steph.

B (8:07)

Yes there are. And then I come back the next day. I go to class. We both go to class. End of the day comes around full. Let us go to every period. And the day comes around like a teacher student guy come who always gave me the creeps came to my door and they called over the of the announcement. Stephanie told please of the office. And I was like, see you guys in A week, thinking I'm suspended. I get down to the office and I'm sitting there, and I see my friend looking through a magazine. Didn't give a shit. I'm like, we're about to be in shit. And she just went to a magazine. And this woman, oh. Opens up my backpack. She goes, you have the right to remain silent. I'm like, what? She's like, you have the right to remain silent. And then you do a state. I'm like, I'm like, my backpack, that's like a blue baby blue Roxy backpack with a. With an Atticus and a Blink 182 patch, like stapled on. And I was like, what are you talking about? She what's this? And I'm like, it's my underwire for my bra. It came out. Like, what are you talking about? There's nothing in this bag. Should you put a girl in the hospital? I'm like, I didn't do. We get fully arrested, we get to say none of our side. The girl came in that morning, opened up a yearbook, pointed, said, this girl. And this girl made fun of me for not speaking English, saying that they're making fun of me because she was Yugoslavian. They tried to pin this on a hate crime.

A (9:12)

I was about to say, you got a hate crime on your hands.

B (9:14)

It ain't a hate crime. My. My grandmother, my baba, rest in peace. Full Bulgarian, My Deado. Two words of English. Full Bulgarian. Full eastern block was my friend's name. My friend who also got arrested. Her grandma was Portuguese. Not a word of English came out of her mouth. I'm like, no, no, no, no. So my. My dad ended up going into the school the next day and being like, cuz they expelled us. Originally. My dad went into the school and he was like, I was. I. We went to this high school, she's coming back. And they're like, was it hate crime? My dad's like, hey, crime. I'll bring my mother in here right now. What are you talking about? My whole family doesn't speak English. And then the vice principal at the time was like, because the principal was out that day. Convenient. And the viceroy was like, oh, really? And my dad's like, what are you talking about? Freaking the out. But the funniest part of the whole story was right when they. So I'm. I'm in jail or whatever. They put. They took us to jail, whatever. All this crap in these, like two, like, cells. Not like normal cells, like an all white cell room. And then I remember my dad, my his friends used to always prank call him at work. So somebody calls. Hello, Peter, this is Stephen Tulski, the vice principal at. At East Shore Collegiate. Your daughter's been arrested. And my dad goes, you Paul? And Paul hangs out the phone, and then a minute later calls back. He goes, actually, this is the secretary. This is. This is really real. Stephen Tulsi is the vice president. He really is calling your daughter right now. My dad's like, oh, Finds out I'm in jail. They leave me there for, like, not. It's not in jail. It's like a white room with like, a white desk and, like a white little seat. I'm crying. My friend's singing in the other. In the other room. Oh, things is hilarious. I'm like, we're dead. We're going to be like, my. Seeing my dad's face when I got out of that room. Like, he's gonna beat me to a pulp. Like, I'm.

A (10:49)

Was he mad or did he.

B (10:51)

I. I literally remember I got in the car and my dad, I'm like.

A (10:55)

Daddy, I swear I didn't do anything.

B (10:56)

He's like, we're gonna go back to the house. You're gonna sit down, and you're tell me every thing that happened. I was like, bawling and I told him the story, and I was like, she pushed me. I pushed her. He's like, what the. What the. And then when I said I didn't go say my side of the story, he, like, freaked the out. So then, long story short, went to court for like a whole. A whole year. We get to keep going back. We got. We ended up getting back into school. We got. We were out for three months.

A (11:21)

Damn. How bad you beat this girl's ass?

B (11:23)

She was fine. Relax. She's a bruised. You also. You started it. I didn't. Do you shove me? Anyways, then. So then. So this is what happened. I'm driven off a spike telling me to relax.

A (11:36)

All these years later, still clear.

B (11:39)

I'm so pissed. I've never over it. No, it's hilarious, actually. Do you want. Do you want to laugh even harder? Hold on, let me show you. So my friend and I, who got. What leg is it on? Is it this one? My friend and I who got. What the hell? Oh, yeah, it's his foot. My friend and I who got arrested together last year, we went and got these ey. Tattoos and we also got handcuffs.

A (12:00)

Oh, there they are.

B (12:00)

I got little baby handcuffs. And my friend has a child and she hates them, and she's getting Cherries put over top of hers, which is hilarious.

A (12:07)

Covering it up with cherry.

B (12:08)

I'm like, whatever. It's so stupid. Stupid. But I was driven by spy. I was so pissed because I was like doing well in school. I was like this. So after I got arrested and they didn't want me to go back, I got in everything. I was on student government. I was in all the fucking plays. I was on the announcement crew. I did. I was back in track and field again. I did cross country. I played field hockey. I played lacrosse. I was the mvp. The lacrosse team.

A (12:33)

Damn, girl.

B (12:36)

I was p. I was so pissed. So I did everything. So I was like, suck on that. You want me here now you. I was the high school mascot. Now you're going to see everyone.

A (12:44)

Tell us about. Let's tell us about the high school mascot.

B (12:47)

Yeah, it was a bulldog. And I used to go around and grab guys asses. And they got so pissed off because he thought it was a guy in there.

A (12:52)

Oh, really?

B (12:53)

I would just be like being a little pervert. A little piggy pervert. Just grab.

A (12:57)

They didn't know it was you?

B (12:58)

No, I was in there just grabbing full ass.

A (13:03)

So I'm looking at the stuff you sent in. We went through, you know, you went through some phases here. We went through some phases. Do we? We also. Where I grew up, we had this thing. I don't know why it became a thing, but they were called. You were either a farmer or a surfer. They did this whole thing. Okay, are you with the farmers or the surfers? And I was like, we don't even surf. Like, I'm not with the farmers. But I don't. Yeah, but I don't who the surfing over here. You know what I mean? And then I would watch kids go through fads. Like we have bad ones. I know. I guess every generation did. But we had parachute pants and fat laces, hammer pants and all that.

B (13:40)

I think I was like right after that. Yeah, we had.

A (13:43)

Tell me what you're wearing.

B (13:44)

I was so. I was a Gina. So the first grade nine, big hoop earrings, tight little crop tops when I went out.

A (13:51)

Gina. Like after Martin and Gina from Martin Lawrence Show.

B (13:55)

Oh, God, I just saw one of the photos you had. It's so bad. I was a Gina. And then I would say I was like a skater girl.

A (14:02)

Okay. Greek and.

B (14:07)

Yeah, so grade 10. I was wearing like big like puka shell necklaces. I had like Roxy everything. Roxy everything. There it was. That's exactly. Okay, So I had this. I had two little buns in my hair. I had, like, the wooden beads. I fudgeing. Hate seeing my eyebrows. I over tweeze them in grade eight because one of my best friends at the time said, your eyebrows are so ugly. Go home and tweeze them. And gave me tweezers and I. Look at my fucking eyebrows. I had beautiful. I had beautiful eyebrow. That's the first year. Okay, that's me in grade eight. Holy. That's an old photo on the right. That's me. I. That is my grade eight graduation. Look at little me. I was my sister. Oh, my God. That for. Where the. Did you find that photo? Holy. That was an old one. Yeah. That was great. I had white eyeliner. I know girls went through that phase. And, like, a really light lip, like, it was almost the same color as my face. Got my hair done. Someone came over into these little curls to my hair. And we had. There's a phase where women. And I don't know why we did that. We had two glued pieces. We had like two pieces of bang. And we would put gel in them. Look right there. And you wouldn't want them to move. Like, a wind could come and they were like. They would stay congealed. I don't know what that phase was, but we all went through it in such a way that it doesn't look good. It never looked good. I should have had bangs back then. I don't know. I'm pissed off that my sister had bangs our whole life and I had nothing. But. Yeah, I was grade 10, then grade 11. I started getting more into, like, punk.

A (15:40)

Okay.

B (15:40)

And, like, I got into, like. I started with. There she is. There's your girl.

A (15:45)

Oh, there she is. Atticus, right there, that's me at a house party.

B (15:49)

I had the wristbands. I had the dog collar.

A (15:51)

Are you on the toilet?

B (15:52)

I'm on the toilet.

A (15:53)

First I thought you were laying on a bed this way. And now I'm simply.

B (15:57)

I'm simply on a toilet. My friend, her parents were never home, so we used to get blackout drunk at her house. She had crazy parties. I believe this is the night that I drank a bunch of Revs and then I was making out with this one. Oh, this guy Ari. I feel so bad. He was so cute. I was, like, barfing.

A (16:13)

Wait, can we go back for a second?

B (16:15)

Rev is a blue, disgusting, like, smearing off ice type.

A (16:20)

There's no toilet paper on that roll.

B (16:22)

That's probably why I was so mad. Look at me, I'm air drying. I probably had the shits and I made my friend come in and give me toilet paper.

A (16:30)

Wait, what's a rev? Show me.

B (16:31)

A rev is like this one. It's. Oh, yeah, I'll call it. Let's see it. It's disgusting.

A (16:37)

I've never even seen.

B (16:39)

Oh, God, they're poison.

A (16:41)

Okay, what is this?

B (16:42)

Look at the guy. Look at the guy's hands behind it. That's when you know they're poison. They were. I think they were like 10. What? It was something with 7%. Okay, 7%. So picture that 7%. You're drinking that. It tastes like Gatorade or. No, it tastes like a blue freezy. Oh, but it's alcohol. Vodka. Oh, cola beverage with vodka. So I didn't realize it's cola. So you're getting, like, jizzed up off. Was. I remember one night I was so drunk, I was drinking, like, so many of these. I was barf. I was, like, kissing this guy Ari. He was so cute. I remember I was, like, so happy. He kissed me. And I started barfing blue everywhere. And I remember he stayed. He's like, it's okay. And he rubbed my back. I'm like, you can go. He's like, no, it's okay. I'm like, I don't care that we kissed. Please can you go away? I don't want to barf. Front you. He stayed with me all night. It was very sweet. Ari, whatever happened to you? He probably got drug charges. Everybody at my high school was like, a druggie or a lot of fentanyl happening in East York. But we loved it. We loved our little. We loved these records. Yeah. So I was, like, super into punk.

A (17:40)

What are you wearing in your punk days?

B (17:42)

So I got. I. I had the dog collar on almost every day. I had the big studded belt.

A (17:46)

School.

B (17:46)

Oh, yeah. What happened was they. They got uniforms. We got uniforms. So you saw that one photo.

A (17:54)

There you go.

B (17:55)

So we had. We had a uniform. That right there is me on the weekends. That's weekend stuff.

A (17:59)

Oh, that's club stuff.

B (18:00)

And the funniest part of this photo is it was so cold in Canada, so I had to still be sensible. So I'm wearing, like, a really good. That. That coat costs, like $300 as a Columbia winter jacket. My parents were so mad at me because I would wear everything else, but I'd wear two pairs of leg warmers because my legs would be cold. But I made sure I had the fishnets on. I had a little black skirt. Oh, my God. I remember that black skirt. Okay. You can't see it. But the most embarrassing moment of my fucking life. We went to SARS stock.

A (18:24)

What is SARS stock?

B (18:26)

It was the big. It was. There's a huge bird flu in. In Canada. Sarsdock was. It was like Rolling Stones. The s. Rolling Stones. Acdc, Flaming Lips. Yeah, that's it. Look at it. Look at that. Look at that. Mos okay. Look at that.

A (18:43)

That looks like a woods.

B (18:46)

Okay. Can I show you where I was? Let me show you where I was. I gotta show you. I remember I was right here.

A (18:51)

There.

B (18:51)

I. Me and my friends went early and then we went over here because it was too much. We were right in this zone. So there's a subway station right here, right by the. It's called Yorkdale Mall. There's a subway station right there. We. The second the show is over, we're like, we have to beat these people. So we book it. We start sprinting this crowd. So we're on the outskirts. Jesus, it was crazy. We are.

A (19:14)

Look at that.

B (19:15)

It was psychotic. It's. It's probably definitely the biggest concert I've ever been to. I saw the. We were here.

A (19:21)

Look, some people.

B (19:22)

I was way close to you losers. I was so up there. We. I remember I had to run all around the outside. So I'm wearing this skirt. I can't remember. It was called flow or something. I can't remember who was by. It was. It had like three little cutouts on the side. It's like black skirt all the time. We start running. We see people trying to get in the subway. And there's a fence. And I'm like, if I hop the fence, we'll get in earlier. So my two friends hop the fence first. I go to hop it. I go to jump down. My skirt gets caught on the back of this fence. I start dangling. It's not ripping the material of the skirt. So I'm like, full granny panties are ripped in my ass. All these people. Look at the amount of people going pointing and laughing at me. I'm just hanging. I can't get down. These guys need to come help me. My friends are laughing so hard because, like, picture just my whole body, like a Marion just hanging. And it was so high. It was like, not a short fence. It was so embarrassing. Thousands. Thank God this is before cell phones. My ass would have been all over.

A (20:20)

Oh, yeah, I would have been.

B (20:21)

It was.

A (20:22)

So that's who you be. You wouldn't be the comedian.

B (20:24)

You'd be the viral girl from stained holy ass underwear. Sar stock ass was so embarrassing. But we went to so many concerts. Yeah, I used to. I used to go to so many. That. That was me. That fitcher. That one of me. The. The dog collar. We used to go downtown to like Lee's palace or.

A (20:43)

And are you sneaking cuz you're. Or your parents saying you can do this?

B (20:46)

No. Yeah, that we. They knew I was doing this.

A (20:48)

They did.

B (20:49)

Yeah. They let me take the subway, which. I can't believe it. I would not let my daughter ride the subway. Are you kidding me?

A (20:55)

Hell no.

B (20:56)

No way in hell. No way in hell would I let.

A (20:59)

My daughter friends together or not. No way.

B (21:01)

But so the braids.

A (21:03)

Yeah.

B (21:03)

So I don't know if you found a photo of me these braids because I thought I scrubbed them from the Internet. No. Okay. I did a very good job because my friend in high school, Prisca in grade. I think it was grade 10, was like. Because I wanted like braids. Like not white lady braids. So I. She said, come to my house and do it.

A (21:23)

Was she a black girl?

B (21:24)

Yeah, she was a black girl. So she said, come over. It was the best experience. Her family came in. They're all helping. They made me fried plantains. I'm like having a blast. I'm enjoying the whole time.

A (21:32)

This takes a long.

B (21:33)

It took a long time.

A (21:34)

I know. Hours.

B (21:35)

Hours. I loved it. I loved how they looked. I was so happy. And then like now years later, everyone's like, you did what? And I was like, I love them. But my mom was pissed because I was highland dancing at the time. So I used to Scottish highland dance from the age of 3 to 18, which I'm sure you saw those photos. That's all I did. And I. When I had them with dancing, it looked psychotic because it was. So These was. Have a tight little hair and tight little bun. And I had these huge. There I am. I had these huge braids and it looked like I was wearing 287. You're up 287. That's. Oh, man. I had good turn. I was good. That's the one year I was good. So I was really good when I was like 9 years old. And then it went downhill.

A (22:13)

So then you get these tight braids.

B (22:15)

See, look how bad I was. You want. You want to laugh? You know the worst part of that one? I'm holding my sister's smaller trophy. That's not even mine. So my sister won that big one. And my mom was like getting the photo. My. I didn't win anything. So she made me hold that fucking thing. I didn't get shit all that day. I was so bad. So you see that color tartan we're wearing? No one wore this color. It's the ugliest tartan. It was called the Ross Tartan. It was my grandma's maiden name. So my grandma paid for these kilts. So my mom's like, well, if your grandmother's gonna pay for them, they. If we were in better kilts. Like, kilts helped you stand out. Like, cool red. Or like. I had one later in life called the Pride of Skull. And I loved it. It was, like, purple and like. Like blue. It was a beautiful, ugliest tartan. No, I. I swear to God. One competition once. All my years I had a Nancy. I saw one other guy with it. I was like, what the is this? Nobody had this tartan. It was hideous. Anyways, that was in Scotland. I remember that. I got nothing. So embarrassing. I was. Yeah. My mom. It sucks because my mom has still to this day, I think one of the best Highland dancers on. I think she's the Guinness Book of Records.

A (23:15)

Oh, your mom.

B (23:16)

My mom taught my mom's teacher. Yeah. My mom taught this girl. I was good there. That's the Calgary stamp.

A (23:20)

Is your mom here?

B (23:21)

That's my mother. Look how happy she was off. Mom didn't love me. Let's prove a mom didn't love me. Zoom in on my mother's face in this photo. Absolutely. She had other dancers.

A (23:35)

Mom and your sister.

B (23:36)

I know. I needed bangs.

A (23:37)

Everybody had bags.

B (23:38)

I wanted high bangs. I had a huge fan forehead. Damn it. But that was the one year. That one photo of me with that. I. I went. This belt buckle. Oh, my God. My mom. My sister looks like she has down syndrome.

A (23:49)

Easter. Why is everybody. In the past, the fact that my.

B (23:52)

Mom ever yelled at my dad when he would dress up looking like us, like a family is absurd.

A (23:57)

She would yell at him for this?

B (23:58)

No, just yell at him all the time. They always fought. And I'm like, how could you fight with my father when he's wearing a banana shorts?

A (24:03)

Yeah. Yeah.

B (24:04)

And a pink. My mom liked to have us match for some reason.

A (24:07)

A hotel.

B (24:08)

Oh, yeah. That was our life. We were traveling.

A (24:11)

Really? What are you doing?

B (24:11)

Dancing. All dancing.

A (24:13)

Wait, you were. You were that good that you would dance?

B (24:16)

No, no, no, I wasn't. But my mom taught people who were good. So we'd travel every weekend. So me and my sister danced. We would travel. My dad would pack a. Pack us in there. Pack us in the car. My grandma sandwiches.

A (24:27)

You're Based out of Toronto.

B (24:29)

We drive a lot to Pennsylvania. A lot of places.

A (24:32)

Oh, wow.

B (24:33)

Oh, yeah. We went all to every province. Every year we go to a different province.

A (24:37)

Just kids.

B (24:38)

Kids. Yeah.

A (24:38)

And she would get work. What for like you go there for like a week or.

B (24:42)

No, like a weekend. All weekends. So pretty much every weekend of my life was a dancing competition.

A (24:46)

And somewhere else.

B (24:47)

Somewhere else. The lot in Toronto.

A (24:49)

And would you drive or fly?

B (24:50)

Drive. And then we would fly to a lot of driving with the Florida ones. Long and stupid.

A (24:54)

You're done with Florida.

B (24:55)

I'm down with Florida.

A (24:56)

What's your. What's your.

B (24:57)

I remember we saw golden retriever puppies on the side of the road running around. I told you I had to pull over and stop. And he didn't. I'll never forget that.

A (25:02)

I hate Florida.

B (25:04)

That started my hatred of Florida.

A (25:05)

What. What car are you guys driving? We had.

B (25:08)

We had a green minivan with a big gray trim on the bottom.

A (25:11)

Do you remember what kind?

B (25:12)

Dodge Dodge Caravan.

A (25:13)

Dodge Caravan.

B (25:14)

Dodge Caravan. And then we had. My dad got. Then we went to the. The Ford Escape zone. But we were big Caravan people for a while. That's it. That. That was our van there was. There she blows.

A (25:27)

You're just rolling around everywhere.

B (25:28)

Around that thing. Look at that stupid thing. God sakes. My first car, my grandpa died and my dad let me have.

A (25:36)

Yeah, what is it?

B (25:37)

A Plymouth Acclaim. I loved it. I got. I remember I first got. You know how people get dice and they hang them from the windows? I found these two fuzzy tits. I thought they were so funny. I put them in the car. Literally. Oh, there it is. Oh my God. It was so. Oh my God. There's. That's. That's what I was.

A (25:54)

16 year old girl with titties.

B (25:55)

I thought it was so funny. My dad had to move the car once. My friend. My friend Alexis, I was walking because she lived on the corner. She walk, she goes. Why is one of your titties hanging down the street? What do you mean? My dad got so mad, he ripped them out of the car and threw them down the street. And then I went back and I bought the exact same pair the next day.

A (26:10)

It would be like if I got in my car. My 16 year old daughter had titties.

B (26:14)

It's hilarious. Look at this. Look at that thing. Classic. When we first got it, my. I guess my grandpa never used the AC and I turned it on, a bunch of skin flakes came out because he had really bad psoriasis. It was so gross. Are you. I Turn on serious. It was so bad. I got powers from my dad's. My uncle. Uncle. My grandpa's psoriasis had chunks, big chunks. I'm like, also, he was just rolling around. That thing never turned the air on for years. It was building up, hit me in the face. It was a lot. But my grandparents lived around the corner when they like, oh, my God, she's so cute. I forgot she was here. My grandparents lived around the corner. My grandmother lived down the street.

A (26:58)

We were like, you gotta get out of here. She's like, okay.

B (27:00)

She's like, okay, I'm a good pupsy.

A (27:02)

She's a good listener.

B (27:03)

Oh, she's stretchy.

A (27:04)

Did you have pets growing up?

B (27:06)

Yes, I had a bunch of hamsters. First one was a brown one I named Snowball. Then I had one named Cinnamon. And I remember it died to the song. The Verve. Sweet Bittersweet Symphony. I remember I was feeding it a piece of lettuce and the next morning I woke up and it was gone. And I was like, what happened? And my dad's like. And then we buried it up at my cottage, my parents cottage. And then I remember, like the next day, my dad's like, just don't go over there for a few days. I gotta make sure the hamster's good. And then my dad told me like two years ago that my dog immediately ate it.

A (27:38)

Oh, yeah.

B (27:39)

I was like, oh, fiddly D. We had two golden retrievers. That's why I love my golden retriever.

A (27:45)

Did you share a bedroom?

B (27:46)

No.

A (27:47)

You had your own room the whole time?

B (27:48)

The whole time? Yeah.

A (27:49)

It's just you and your sister only.

B (27:50)

Yeah, this is her own bedroom. Whole time. We loved it. Me, my dad did not get along.

A (27:55)

There you go.

B (27:55)

Look how cute.

A (27:56)

That's back when you took a picture with your eyes closed. You just had to be that way. It just had to be. You couldn't retake that.

B (28:03)

That's us in the. The Dawn Valley. My dad used to take us down there every weekend and let us just muck around. When we didn't have dancing, we were down there.

A (28:10)

Were you a mischievous kid in high school? Would you sneak out? Would you?

B (28:15)

No, I was good.

A (28:16)

You were.

B (28:16)

That's why I was so pissed when I got arrested. I was like, I. I got honors. I was good. I wanted to university, I wanted to graduate with honors. I wanted to do something. I want to be an actress. And then here I am.

A (28:28)

What's your first? Yeah, we're clowns. What's your first? Alcohol. When you first Start drinking.

B (28:34)

I drank. I was so gross. Bacardi Lemon rum. I used to buy this little Mickey's. I used to stand outside. There's an lcbo liquor store. Because we didn't have the same liquor stores. I hear you specifically get that. And I, I got ballsy. And I used to go in a couple times myself. I used to like put lipstick on.

A (28:50)

At what age?

B (28:51)

Take my mama's passport. 16.

A (28:52)

And you take a pay. Oh yeah, you know, take her passport.

B (28:55)

And I was just really heavily shake around these keys, thinking that even though you could drive at like 16, they're probably like, I can drive. I'm older. And then we just started bluntly asking people because I got caught one day.

A (29:05)

Oh, yeah. They're like, what happened?

B (29:06)

What's your ID? And I pull it out. My mother, I'm 47 years old. They're like, this isn't you. I'm like, yoink. And then I ran out because we had like a lookout outside. But then we would start asking guys. It was so easy. Getting alcohol is the easiest thing on the planet. And then we used to do a thing called dial a bottle. And dial a bottle. Oh, we got this number. We would call it, go, hi, I'm. I'm of age. Please deliver this much. They would charge like triple the amount. So we'd all save our money. We'd get like peach schnapps, a little thing of rum, and like a couple beers. And I would go to the side door. Like they knew it's a whole thing. Oh, the side door of my parents house. I would put on my mom's heels. Her feet were so much smaller than me. I would Chinese bind my feet into these heels. I put lipstick all over my face. And I'd be like, here's my ID if you need proof, the guy's like, just give me your money. Like, they knew it was a illegal thing to do. But we would call and they every. It became so funny. I'd call, go. I'd be like, hi, blah, blah, my address. And they'd go, side door. And I'm like, side door. They knew this. We drank every time. Because my parents, once we got. My parents got a cottage. They went up like every weekend and they started leaving me alone and are.

A (30:14)

You throwing parties or what? What are you doing?

B (30:16)

So here's the best part. So I used to throw ragers. Ragers. But because my parents were so psychotic and clean, they had every cleaning supply on the planet. So I'd kick everybody. I made everyone take their shoes Off. I'd have hundreds of people at the house. Everyone's shoes were off. You come in, there's no smoking, there's no shoes. Those are the two rules. We had kegs, everything. They would leave. I would stay up all night long. I would scrub the house to a point. They'd come home and be like, huh. I used to take all my dad's electronics, all these huge speaker to my parents room. I'd lock everything in their room. Anything important was locked in there. My parents, like, maybe, I don't know, 15, 20 years ago, finally get these old rugs lifted, these old pink rugs. And they were like. The guy lifted up and he went, holy. What the. My parents like, what? They're like, wow. What did you have like, a lot of pets in here? What the is this? What are you talking about? And he like shows them. It's all stains, red, black, brown. They're like, what the is that? They're like, somebody was throwing something in here. My parents called me and they're like, well, now that you're out of the house and you're in college, did you have parties here? I go, oh, all the time. They're like, are you serious? I go, the. The rug guy can't believe. Because I would scrub it. Because at the top, all the, like the dog pet. I would just scrub the rugs. Like just nothing, not a hair out of place. Remember, things would break and I'd super glue them. My parents used to lie and say they were coming back at like 4pm and I knew they would. I knew they'd always come back early to try to catch me. So I would stay up all night and then I'd be so dead. Like, what'd you do? I'm like, oh, watch movies till late. Meanwhile, there's a keg getting rolled out. Two hours when I got there.

A (31:51)

No neighbors ratted you out? Your sister didn't know.

B (31:54)

This is the best part. My neighbor Don. I love you, Don. He lived across the street. One of the last parties got out of control. There was. Cops got called. These three girls that weren't invited snuck in the back gate. We don't deal with that. So one of my friends is a black belt in high school. We look at the window, she's fucking curb stomping this girl's face. You don't come in when you're invited.

A (32:13)

That's right.

B (32:13)

They took my CDs. I remember the CD case. I ended up getting back the whole thing. Anyways, Don comes over and I'm like, On my hands and knees. They had beer all under my. My parents, like, fireplace in the back. Their gas fireplace. I was, like, scrubbing it. My sister was there. I was forcing her to help me. And Don's like, stephanie, this is it. You have a lot of these. The police have never come. This is it. Now. He goes, no more. He goes, I will not. I promise you. He was a firefighter. Because I promise you, I will not tell them, but you can't do this again. And I was like, I. I swear, Don, I won't. And I never threw another party. And Don never said anything. Like, a couple years ago, my dad's like. I was talking to Don. I'm like, oh, he goes to the parties. And my head's like, don knew what the parties. And I was like, he's like, I'm no rat. Don's a nice guy. Don could have got me in, so I would have been.

A (32:55)

No, we used to do. We got in trouble because we actually cleaned too well.

B (32:59)

That's what y. That's what we would do. Okay. This is the. Okay. So I brought, like, these. I had, like, four guy friends. We came into my cottage, like, years ago. And my parents are so anal with the cottage. Supposed to be nice and fun and relaxed. It's marble counters. Can't have water anywhere. I need a coaster. Get yelled at. So we all do mushrooms. I pass out, and they're barbecuing. I'm like. I'm like, you have to be careful with the barbecues. My dad's pride and joy don't thing up. I pass out. I wake up, like, five hours later. I'm all up. They're all staring at me in the couch. They're like. Like, hello. I'm like, what are you doing? They're all staring. I'm like, you did something. You. What did you do? I'm like, first of all, how long are you staring at me, weirdos? They're like, don't get mad. I'm like, what do you mean, don't get mad? They're like, well, we took the bacon off the. Off the. Of the barbecue, and we. All of the grease spilled all over the outside deck. I go out and there's this massive grease stain. I'm like, okay, I'm dead. I'm dead. They never let me have people up on myself anyways. This is it. You've ruined my privileges forever. I Google, like, white water, white vinegar, water, soap, whatever. Scrubbing. Me and this guy Jared are scrubbing this deck to high hell months. Go by. I think I'm in the clear. My dad calls me up. He goes, what the did you spill on that deck? I go, what are you talking about? He goes, well, whatever the it was, you cleaned it so well, I had to power wash the rest of the deck to get it to match. Like the cleanse mod. I'm like, I can't win. I can't win with this man. Power wash the rest of the deck to get it to match. I was so pissed. I was so mad.

A (34:32)

I was like, God damn it, Steph Tollev. I love you. Thank you for.

B (34:35)

Thanks for having me.

A (34:36)

Thank you so much.

B (34:38)

Watch my Netflix special if you haven't promoted Filth Queen. That's it. Watch it. Follow me Instagram. Come see me live. I'm funnier live.

A (34:45)

You're funny always.

B (34:46)

Thank you.

A (34:47)

Thank you guys. As always. Ryan Sickler. We'll talk to y' all next week.

B (34:51)

Weekend.