92: The Wayback #92 | Jeff Dye

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Wayback #92 | Jeff Dye

Podcast: The Wayback with Ryan Sickler
Episode: #92 — Jeff Dye
Air Date: October 2, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this nostalgic and comical episode of "The Wayback," host Ryan Sickler welcomes comedian Jeff Dye for a lighthearted dive into childhood memories, teenage troublemaking, and growing up in blue-collar Washington State. The conversation explores Jeff's unique upbringing, run-ins with school authority, formative friendships, and family quirks, all laced with irreverent humor and personal anecdotes. Throughout, the episode strikes a balance between laughter and wistful reflection on formative years and the oddities of suburban life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jeff Dye's Early Life and Upbringing (05:38–07:15)

• Roots in Washington: Born in Spokane, moved to Kent (a blue-collar suburb south of Seattle).
  • “Kent, Washington is very blue collar... to people in Seattle, we were like, cowboys, right? But to real cowboys, they'd say, you're just white trash.” — Jeff Dye (06:01)
• Family Dynamics: Grew up with two sisters, parents struggled financially.
  • “My sisters are like, well, why does he get new clothes? I'm like, I can't wear your clothes... girls had to share everything, I couldn't wear a dress to school.” — Jeff Dye (09:59)
• Early Outcast: Jeff straddled worlds—too wild for ‘good’ kids, too clean for ‘bad’ kids.
  • “Too bad for the good kids. Too good for the bad kids.” — Jeff Dye (07:03)

2. School Days: Class Clown and Outcast (07:16–09:33)

• Discovering Comedy: Inspired by the laughter he earned (indirectly) in first grade, Jeff leaned into being the class clown.
  • “That was what started it all... after that I was like, every time I got something funny to chime in, I’m gonna do it.” — Jeff Dye (08:00)
• Frequent Discipline: Regularly sent to detention or the office for disruptive behavior.
  • “I would just go to class and they'd be like, you're out... They just see some feral dirty boy and go, this guy's got probably home problems.” — Jeff Dye (08:49–09:12)

3. Suburban Mischief and Adolescent Antics (10:16–14:40)

• Neighborhood Bonds: Main elementary friend—Mike Krause; junior high—Mike Roy.
  • “In elementary it was Mike Krause, and then in junior high, it was Mike Roy. He swapped Mikes!” — Jeff Dye (10:23-10:28)
• Typical Boyhood Pranks: Regularly threw rocks at cars, played in small woods, relished minor acts of vandalism.
  • “Throwing rocks at cars... I don’t expect anyone to understand how fun it is.” — Jeff Dye (11:52)
• Siblings & Rivalry: Sisters resented him for (perceived) privilege of new clothes, leading to sibling tension.

4. Small Town Lore & Landmark Stories (13:21–14:40)

• Shared Neighborhood Knowledge: Everyone knew everyone’s business—except for the one ultra-private neighbor.
  • “We knew them... their drama, their divorces... everything about anyone in the neighborhood except that guy. That’s the most private person in the world.” — Jeff Dye (31:35)
• Explosives and Mailbox Pranks: Admits to blowing up neighbors’ mailboxes with firecrackers, leaving his own untouched—immediately incriminating himself.
  • “Yours is still there. I was like, man, I should have blown up ours too.” — Jeff Dye (30:36)

5. Growing Up “Between” Groups: The Lone Wolf (07:03, 32:09–32:41)

• Not Fitting In: Continues to describe feeling excluded from both “good” and “bad” kid cliques, leading to an outsider mentality and a loyal friendship with Mike Roy.
  • “I was a lone wolf by accident... too bad for the good kids and too good for the bad kids.” — Jeff Dye (32:14)

6. The Christian Upbringing and Spiritual Search (23:38–25:35)

• Methodist Beginnings, Sudden Break: Parents’ Methodist faith dissolved after a dispute involving a lesbian youth leader.
  • “My mom had a big meltdown... she felt like religion had rejected her. Not that the church had rejected her, but... every Christian’s a hypocrite and God must not be real.” — Jeff Dye (23:52)
• Church as Social Escape: As a teen, Jeff gravitated toward Christian peers for their friendliness and inclusive activities (like church-sponsored snowboarding).
  • “The nicest kids at school were Christians who had answers... They’d be like, ‘You die, and go with Jesus.’ I was like, ‘Oh, that’s good enough for me.’” — Jeff Dye (24:44–24:56)
• Church Functions as “Rebellion”: Found solace and fun with church kids—reminiscent of “rebelling” by joining them.

7. Favorite Pranks & Neighborhood Trouble (25:35–27:06)

• Stuffed Animal Prank: Tying a stuffed animal to fishing line, dragging it in front of cars for “chaotic fun.”
  • “Tie fishing line around a stuffed animal... pull it across the road like an animal’s running in front of their car. Dude, so dangerous.” — Jeff Dye (26:01)

8. Shoplifting Incident: The Super Mall Story (33:33–35:14)

• Auburn’s “Super Mall”: Like many, Jeff believed his local mall was the biggest in America—until the internet proved otherwise.
  • “Everybody thought their mall was the biggest mall in America. Turns out it was just a mall.” — Jeff Dye (33:36–34:04)
• Getting Caught Stealing Batting Gloves: Surrendered immediately when caught—regretted not running.
  • “I immediately surrender, my mom picks me up... my mom looks at me, she's like, ‘Are you in a gang?’” — Jeff Dye (34:56–36:02)

9. Reflections on Parenting and Consequences (36:02–36:28)

• Parental Reaction to Trouble: Typical grounded punishments, but little impact due to limited possessions.
  • “Take away all your... but I didn’t have. So it didn’t really affect anything. I’m already always in here.” — Jeff Dye (36:07–36:18)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Class Clown Origins:
  • “I had a smart ass remark, but I didn't have the bravery to say it. So I said it to the kid next to me... the whole class laughed... I was like, I'm gonna get my glory here.” — Jeff Dye (07:51–08:00)
• On Boys’ Mischief:
  • “Girls, I don't expect them to understand, but they'll never understand what guys think is cool. It breaks their brain.” — Jeff Dye (11:17)
• Mailboxes Mayhem:
  • “I blew the [roof] off those things. Used to have a little roof on it before me.” — Jeff Dye (30:10)
• Neighborhood Knowledge:
  • “I can name every family that lived in every house on that cul de sac. We knew them. We knew their drama, their divorces, their new wives... except that guy.” — Jeff Dye (31:35)
• On Not Fitting In:
  • “Too bad for the good kids. Too good for the bad kids.” — Jeff Dye (07:03, 32:14)
• On Getting Caught Shoplifting:
  • “He goes, you know what this is about? And I was like, yes. I just immediately surrender.” — Jeff Dye (34:56)
• On Parental Perspective:
  • “My mom's looking at me like, are you in a gang? Like, yeah, I look like I'm in a baseball gang.” — Jeff Dye (36:02)

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Noteworthy Segments & Timestamps

• Intro & Nostalgia Theme Begins: 04:56
• Jeff Dye Childhood & “Lone Wolf” Status: 05:36–07:15
• Discovery of Comedy/Class Clown: 07:16–08:36
• Neighborhood Mischief & Boyhood Pranks: 10:16–14:40
• Playing Football in a Cemetery: 18:06–19:11
• Mailboxes Mayhem: 29:23–31:13
• Shoplifting at the Super Mall: 33:33–36:02
• Parents’ Reaction & Reflexion: 36:02–36:28

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Tone & Vibe

The episode is marked by raw, irreverent humor (with plenty of swearing), candid personal stories, and an easy-going nostalgia. Both Ryan Sickler and Jeff Dye embrace playful self-deprecation, balancing wild anecdotes and softer moments of reflection about what it meant to grow up “in between”—neither a troublemaker nor a goody two-shoes, but always chasing approval and laughs.

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Final Thoughts

A classic Wayback episode: playful and filled with the universal details of adolescence, broken up by tales of minor rebellion and the small-town peculiarities that shape a comedian’s worldview. Jeff Dye’s storytelling is both vivid and authentic, making for a relatable and entertaining trip down memory lane.

Transcript

[Ryan Sickler]

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[Podcast Host]

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[Podcast Host]

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[Ryan Sickler]

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[Podcast Host]

All right y', all, big news.

[Ryan Sickler]

My new standup special, Live and Alive drops Friday, October 24th, right here on my YouTube at 9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific. We shot at a comedy on State Madison, Wisconsin. There were two sold out shows, the crowds were unbelievable and I'm telling you honestly, it's my best work. All right, this special is special. I'm really proud of it. It's self produced, it's self funded, it's self released and straight from me to.

[Podcast Host]

You the way it should be.

[Ryan Sickler]

And here's the best part. During the premiere, I'll be live in the YouTube comments with you guys hanging out the whole time. I'll answer questions. I want to watch it all unfold in real time with you guys. Like we're there together that night. All right, so make sure you subscribe to my channel, hit that reminder and join me on on release night. This one means a lot to me and I would love to experience that first watch with you guys. Friday, October 24th, 9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific live and alive right here on my YouTube. Subscribe now and don't miss it. San Diego. I'll be at the Grand Comedy Club Friday, October 3rd. Get your tickets now on my website at Ryan sickler.com.

[Jeff D]

Hey baby, we're gonna be here all day. We're gonna be here all day, baby. I like this kind of party.

[Podcast Host]

Welcome back to the Way Back. Everybody. Ryan Sickler here saying thank you for anything you do that supports anything I do. Thank you for watching this show. This show is so much fun to dive into people's past Bring it to life. We're having a great time over here, and I'm very excited, very excited to have this guest here in the Way back with me. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jeff D. Welcome to the way.

[Jeff D]

Thanks for having me, man.

[Podcast Host]

Before we get into our podcast today, promote whatever you'd like, please, Jeff.

[Jeff D]

Die.com. touring all over. Go there to get tickets. Yeah. Patreon, YouTube, I'm on all that crap. Look up Jeff D. Find me. Support me. I love you.

[Podcast Host]

Where are you growing up? Where you grew up.

[Jeff D]

So I was born in Spokane, Washington, and then we moved to Seattle area when I was. Before I started forming memories. So I was like a little baby or like a young kid.

[Podcast Host]

And who's we? Mom, dad. Mom.

[Jeff D]

My mom and dad and my sisters.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Jeff D]

And we moved to Kent, Washington, which is about 40 minutes south of Seattle.

[Podcast Host]

And what is it like growing up there?

[Jeff D]

It was. It was fun. It was like a very. Kent, Washington is very blue collar. It's a bunch of. It's funny. Like, two people in Seattle were like, cowboys, right? But to real cowboys, they'd be like, you're just white trash. Like, you know, like, we thought we were like, oh, carhartts and boots and things, but really we're just kind of a poor little town.

[Podcast Host]

So what you mentioned on the Honeydew, that your upbringing or your childhood was unusual. What do you mean by that?

[Jeff D]

So I think maybe my childhood was fine, but, like, my figuring out who I was, like, in school and stuff, that was unusual.

[Podcast Host]

Thomas.

[Jeff D]

So, like, I'm trying to think what made me say that when we were on the podcast? Because it was like, oh, the fact that I didn't have alcohol till I was 21. So all the bad kids didn't mess with me because they were like, they would drink alcohol and have sex and they thought I'd snitch. They're like, dude, Jeff died. Don't invite him to the party. He'll tell on us because he doesn't drink or have sex or drugs. But then all the Christian kids, all the church kids, all the Mormon kids, they didn't want to hang out with me because they're like, dude, Jeff's bad. He blows up mailboxes. He's. He's always, you know, like, you know, throwing stuffed animals across the street. So it's too bad for the good kids. Too good for the bad kids.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jeff D]

And. And it was just this terrible world to live in that way. But famous at school.

[Podcast Host]

Why?

[Jeff D]

I was hilarious. And I was also, like, fearless. I'll do anything to try to just get attention and get the kids to laugh.

[Ryan Sickler]

Like what, what school?

[Jeff D]

Middle school, high school, all through elementary, junior high. Like I had to like live up to my reputation of being like the class clown.

[Podcast Host]

How? Start, let's hear elementary. What do you remember?

[Jeff D]

So in kindergarten I was just still kind of in that fog you live in where you don't know things. But in the first grade, I remember Ms. Allen, we had dual teachers. How weird is that? They like kind of co headlined first grade.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, Ms.

[Jeff D]

Plum and Ms. Allen, two teachers. So anyways, I remember Ms. Allen said something and I had a smart ass remark, but I didn't have the bravery to say it. So I said it to the kid next to me. His name is Joseph Garrell. Joseph Garrell said it out loud and the whole class laughed and I was like the. That was what I said. So then the next thing she said, I thought of another funny thing. Joseph girl said it out loud, everyone laughed. And I remember after two sentences like that, I'm gonna get my glory here. And so then I just became like a nuisance that. But that's what started it all that now after that I was like, every time I got something funny to chime in, I'm gonna do it.

[Podcast Host]

And are you a problem in school too? Like are you a good problem? Like you get in detention, that sort of stuff.

[Jeff D]

Suspended detention. Sometimes I would just go to class and they'd be like, you're out.

[Podcast Host]

Really?

[Jeff D]

Yeah, like before this class he started, they just didn't want to deal with.

[Ryan Sickler]

Where do you go?

[Podcast Host]

Where do they send you back in high school? What's the tension in high school?

[Jeff D]

The office.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, you go to the office. See, I used to, we used to have a library they would send us to a lot you had wanted if the bad kids would have to go.

[Jeff D]

Sit in the poor librarian.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, the bad kids would be in the office. The, the kids that would come in late and all that. You go get your detention in the Libra. Sit there and be quiet. If you were a discipline problem, you were in the office.

[Jeff D]

Well, they thought we'd be afraid of the office. Even at that age. It's like, I don't give a. I'll go to the office. Like they're always nice to me in there. You know, they just see some feral dirty boy and they go, this guy's got probably home problems. You know, it was never like, it was always the frivolous misdemeanor, you know, it was never anything like big enough that they Were like, you know, we're gonna suspend you.

[Podcast Host]

So you're a boy with two sisters. You ever have to share a room?

[Jeff D]

No.

[Podcast Host]

They shared rooms.

[Jeff D]

That was a. Quite a. Quite a contentious subject for my sisters because they had to share everything. Right. They're girls, and we don't have a lot of three years.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Jeff D]

So since we don't have a lot of money, they got hand me downs goes, well, I can't wear girls clothes in school.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jeff D]

So my parents have to buy me.

[Podcast Host]

Before your time.

[Jeff D]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Today you can do whatever the you want. Yeah.

[Jeff D]

And so then my sisters are like. My sisters are like, well, why does he get new clothes? I'm like, I can't wear your clothes. So, like, they would always, like, thought I was, like, some spoiled brat. I was like, I'm not. These clothes suck. And, like, they're not like, I just can't wear a dress, you know? So that was a big thing. But.

[Podcast Host]

And so who are you hanging with? Like, in the neighborhood, you have buddies you run around with. They're like, boys to play with. I'm saying, like, just one.

[Jeff D]

In elementary was Mike Krause, and then in junior high, it was Mike Roy.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, he went swap Mike.

[Jeff D]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

So just tell me about Mike Krause. Like, what are you guys getting into in elementary?

[Jeff D]

He liked the. He liked all the things I liked, you know, he liked baseball. He liked throwing rocks at cars. And would you do that all the time? That was like, a daily thing for us.

[Podcast Host]

Isn't that crazy? You just made me think of this too. We had a little brother. We still do, but at the time, we're like, maybe seven, and he's like four, and I have a twin brother. So we're both like, I didn't know that. Pick that rock up and throw it at that car coming by. And he doesn't know what good or bad is. He just takes this rock, he hits this Mercedes. Jeff died. This guy slammed on the brakes. Oh, yeah. And it's just three of us in our driveway. He just got out, started screaming at us. We're like, man, this guy's Mercedes just hit a Mercedes. The guy was like, what the are you kids doing?

[Jeff D]

I always think about this is like, girls. I don't expect them to understand, but they'll never understand, like, what guys think is cool. It breaks their brain. Like, I'll see like a bodybuilder. I'm like, oh, that dude looks rad. And girls are like, the guy looks ridiculous. But in my brain, I'm like, if I Look like that I'd have the world at my fingertips. Or like I remember like, like peeling out in the like a senior parking lot. And I'm like in gravel just like shooting up little rocks everywhere. And I'm like, I left like I must be the coolest guy in the world. And every girl's like, that guy's a loser. Like what?

[Podcast Host]

Come back to their mics real quick.

[Jeff D]

Same thing with throwing rocks at cars. I don't expect anyone to understand how fun it is to throw rocks at cars.

[Podcast Host]

It's so stupid and dangerous and so it was so fun.

[Jeff D]

I loved.

[Podcast Host]

It's the only time you're ever getting away.

[Jeff D]

I was the best. And then a big semi would come. We were like, semi. Then we didn't have to hide. We're just launching big rocks through the side of the trailer.

[Podcast Host]

My brother one time. Let's look up my high school. Kirsten, please. It's Liberty High School, Eldersburg, Maryland. So this is the senior and teacher lot. The other side of the school was 9 10th and 11th. This was, you know, premium parking. So you can see right behind there, those are tennis courts. My brother at the time, we're. We drive this 1979 Dodge Aspen Station wagon, wood paneling. We pick up a gang of people to go to school and we take them home. My brother, where that Cherokee is parked, he backs up against the parking pylon there and he throws it in reverse and just does a burnout. Like an epic burnout I've never seen before in my life. It smokes the whole tennis courts out. The teachers are screaming. He leaves. I'm. I wish we could get in there because I'm telling you, this is 1991. Those rubber marks are still on that. Look at this.

[Jeff D]

Like, what are you doing?

[Podcast Host]

He's like, they're gonna remember that. I was like, I will. Yeah, that's. It covered it covered those the building.

[Jeff D]

Those aren't burnout.

[Podcast Host]

Right down here. Kirsten's got it.

[Jeff D]

That little person.

[Podcast Host]

No parking area is right here. Yeah, that right there where you're circling.

[Jeff D]

I'm gonna type in my old parents address. Put in 19305 Southeast 243rd Street. This is the road. I walk down the street listening to Creed in my headphones. Show everybody, dude, Janine's gonna want me later in life, you know. All right, so that's my neighbor's house. See that house?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jeff D]

That's my parents house.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Jeff D]

We would sit in these woods, which isn't. It's not very big. The woods and we would just throw rocks. So if the car stopped, they would be looking around like you don't know where. Just enough woods to be like you felt like you were in the Vietnam war or something. You're just launching rocks through that. Yeah, that's the front of their house. That's their Camaro collection.

[Podcast Host]

Is it really? Oh, yeah, that's really there.

[Jeff D]

Oh, dude, they got a bunch. My parents, two people, 75 Camaros.

[Podcast Host]

Look at this. Look at it. Look at them.

[Jeff D]

And they literally would be like, it's insane.

[Podcast Host]

Look at that.

[Jeff D]

Also, that's why when your sister just text you, mom got another Camaro just out of nowhere. Like, that's all they talk about. So. But yes, we used to launch rocks at cars. Didn't get in trouble ever. One time after the 5 millionth car, the dude put together what house it was and like came around and yelled at my sister. And my sister, she just snitched me out right away. She's like, yeah, I'll tell you, my parents. And when you're walking so much fun off that road, man, we did we so much trouble.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why drop a fortune on basics when you don't have to? Quince has the good stuff. High quality fabrics, classic fits and lightweight layers for warm weather. All at prices that make sense. Quint says closet staples you want to reach for over and over. Like cozy cashmere and cotton sweaters. Breathable flow knit Polos like the one I'm wearing right here. Lightweight pants that work for both weekend hangs and dressed up dinners. The best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands. By working directly with the top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markup. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I decided to update my wardrobe with some Quince Polos, a couple pairs of underwear, and some new sweats. It's comfortable, it's professional without that stiff feeling a lot of my other nice dress clothes have. They're my new favorite underwear. I always look for underwear all the time. And let me show you a couple things. Look at that polo right there, y'.

[Podcast Host]

All.

[Ryan Sickler]

Another one. Classic Polos go to Quince now. Keep it classic and cool with long lasting staples from Quince, go to quince.comwayback for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com quince/wayback to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com Wayback Progressive.

[Podcast Host]

Knows we all create validation. Girl, you are not 37.

[Ryan Sickler]

I would have guessed 27.

[Podcast Host]

You guys are too sweet.

[Jeff D]

Sure. Dewy skin.

[Podcast Host]

Terrific.

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[Podcast Host]

Why would you ask?

[Jeff D]

Just because Today marks my 10th anniversary without a car accident or even a speeding ticket. But somehow tonight's all about your spirit skin care.

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[Jeff D]

Where are you going To Crestwood Elementary.

[Podcast Host]

You would walk.

[Ryan Sickler]

You were a walker.

[Jeff D]

No, not to school. Just like I would walk when I was like, you know, puberty, all emo'd out. But no, I didn't walk to school. We took the bus to school. But I. For whatever reason, I believed that you were going to get. So we believed we were going to get kidnapped.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, we're going to come back to your Christian upbringing stuff because we didn't. No, nobody's taken.

[Jeff D]

They're the Dragonflies, which is terrible. I. We. When I went to school there, we were the Crestwood Cobras. And we had a big ass cobra with like a smile on his face when I went there.

[Podcast Host]

And now they change it to your state inside.

[Jeff D]

And I said that like I was Theo Vaughn. We used to have a cobra with.

[Ryan Sickler]

A big old smile on his faces.

[Jeff D]

But yeah, and then they changed it to the Dragonflies or something.

[Podcast Host]

Kirsten, go to 7417 Second Ave. 21784. We're gonna walk to my middle school. All the way up this hill.

[Jeff D]

Was it safe? You feel safe walking?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, Hell yeah. I mean, it was a gang of us. You weren't gonna with. You didn't want any. You didn't want anything to do.

[Jeff D]

They all live by you.

[Podcast Host]

Yep.

[Jeff D]

Neighbor kids.

[Podcast Host]

These are all kids going to school. Yep. All the way up this hill here. All the way up this hill.

[Jeff D]

Has it changed much? It looks pretty old.

[Podcast Host]

Still looks the same. This was how we walked all the way up this hill. All the way this cemetery here. We used to play football in the cemetery.

[Jeff D]

That's got to be some sort of great story. Can I tell you some sort of.

[Podcast Host]

Bad football over dead body in the cemetery all the time. So keep going up that hill.

[Ryan Sickler]

Two embarrassing stories.

[Podcast Host]

So one, a good friend of mine named Mark Orlando, he used to play. He used to play Football for Towson State, our high school. Towson State University. And then he played for the CFL champion Baltimore Stout, the only American team to ever win the Gray Cup.

[Jeff D]

Right?

[Podcast Host]

We're talking really good. And we were friends in high school. He's a year older than me, and I looked up to him a little bit. And one day he's. I'm 15, he's 16. He's driving me home, and we're going by the cemetery. And he always joked about everything. And he goes, my mom's buried in here. I go, shut the fuck up, dude. He goes, no, my mom's buried here. I go, your mom's not dead. I just saw your dad at a game with this lady. He's like, that's not my mom. My mom's dead. I go. He goes, I can prove it. I go, how you gonna prove it? This pulls into this cemetery and drives me to his mom's headstone. I was like, I'm so.

[Jeff D]

That's sorry. Hilarious.

[Podcast Host]

I'm so sorry.

[Jeff D]

Your mom's dad proved it.

[Podcast Host]

Had no idea. I thought he was with me, but he kept saying, no, she's in here. And I'm like, no, she's not.

[Jeff D]

Where you guys play football?

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah, where I live.

[Jeff D]

And did you ever go to the cemetery at night or anything? You guys into that?

[Ryan Sickler]

Hell, yes.

[Jeff D]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Did you?

[Jeff D]

Oh, no, we didn't have the balls. Or a cemetery access.

[Podcast Host]

Wait. Okay, so turn back around.

[Jeff D]

We didn't know anything.

[Podcast Host]

School. We're going straight here.

[Ryan Sickler]

Cut straight.

[Podcast Host]

Keep going straight down there. Yep. Keep going straight. This is our walk to school every day in the freezing snow. Keep going.

[Jeff D]

These are nice.

[Podcast Host]

Now we're gonna make a right right here.

[Jeff D]

Now you got these riches.

[Podcast Host]

This house is. My buddy, Chris Lamb. Used to live over here to the left. Now, that's his house right there.

[Ryan Sickler]

His the next one over.

[Podcast Host]

Yep.

[Jeff D]

Yeah, we had a Chris Lamb in my school.

[Podcast Host]

We used to. We. He was at the end of the street. We'd pick him up because now we got to keep going. This would never be on time. His stepmom was the biggest. She hated everyone.

[Ryan Sickler]

Him too.

[Jeff D]

And we. Listen, dude, he's just being.

[Podcast Host]

He hates her, too.

[Jeff D]

Okay?

[Podcast Host]

It'd be 3 degrees and we'd be out there. She would never let us in the house. She'd be like, you can wait on the porch. And we. After a while, we're like, you laugh?

[Jeff D]

Yeah, we're cold.

[Podcast Host]

We come by and scream, and if you ain't ready, we're wrong. All right, so now turn to Your right again. We're going down this hill. All the way down this hill. Keep going all the way. You're going to run into the school. Keep going, would you? Long ass walk.

[Ryan Sickler]

All right, now go to the left.

[Podcast Host]

And there's the school right there.

[Jeff D]

That's bigger.

[Podcast Host]

And let me tell you something. We used to have this old school vice principal named Mr. Chase.

[Jeff D]

That's why your back's broke. You walking all this. He's like, you went to war as a kid.

[Podcast Host]

So these were all walkers. A lot of kids in this area would go here to Sykesville Middle School. And we had this old school black vice principal named Mr. Chase. And this dude didn't around war suit. He was very much from the cut from the cloth of. What was his name? They Joe Clark, okay, you know, I'm Batman, lean on me. That principle. He had a paddle on his wall with holes in it. And we'd say, mister, why is there a paddle with holes in it? He goes, that's so the meat goes through it. We'd be like, Jesus Christ, meat goes through it. And then he drove an old school blue Caddy.

[Jeff D]

Did he ever whack nobody? You never know.

[Podcast Host]

Just you know what this dude would do. I wish we had more of Mr. Chases in the world that he cared. He gave a. He would get in his old school blue Caddy because it would start with this. Everybody getting their home rest of cafeteria down there. All glass at the bottom.

[Jeff D]

Looks pretty nice.

[Podcast Host]

And that's the gym up there. You would get in your home room to end the begin and end the day. And the first thing was walkers are dismissed. And then you could go. And then you had to sit and wait. They'd be like bus 88. And if it was your bus, you go, bus 143s here. Then you just have to wait till your bus got there. But we out for safety and because we're all hellions in middle school. He would get in his blue Caddy and he would drive all through the neighborhoods. He broke up so many fights.

[Ryan Sickler]

Oh yeah.

[Podcast Host]

He would just roll through the neighborhood like Jeff, die.

[Jeff D]

You better break that up.

[Podcast Host]

Get out and break it up.

[Jeff D]

Why are you here?

[Podcast Host]

You'd get detention and you thought you're off school property. But he gave a. He wasn't going to let any of his. Why even do that one cursing to the left. Yeah, that guy. That one.

[Ryan Sickler]

That's the one.

[Podcast Host]

He'd roll around also.

[Jeff D]

Why are we even doing this? Bus protocol. If walkers are just allow leave.

[Podcast Host]

Walkers are dismissed.

[Jeff D]

Yeah. Oh, Walkers. We don't care about those kids.

[Podcast Host]

When we were like, we are out.

[Jeff D]

That's hilarious. A funny name too.

[Podcast Host]

Walkers. Tell me about the Christian upbringing.

[Jeff D]

So my parents were agnostic. Well, sort of. So when my parents. My parents were Methodist.

[Podcast Host]

Okay.

[Jeff D]

And so they went to a Methodist church. We hated it. We're kids. We didn't want to go.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

I don't know any kid that really loved church.

[Jeff D]

So boring. And like, you also, I don't want to wake up early on a Sunday. So that goes just like. And you'd have to, like, find your best clothes. We didn't even have best clothes. So we just, you know, everything was a reach. So then we go to the church. We hated it. My mom has this huge falling out with the church. Right. So basically what happened was our youth. Our youth group teacher was a lesbian. And my mom finds out that she's lesbian, has a big meltdown. Now the church was like, listen, it wasn't obvious. It was pretty obvious. Yeah. Yeah, I was pretty. My mom's like, I don't know. I thought she just was dressed like a guy.

[Podcast Host]

You know, I used to have a girlfriend in high school whose mom swore Rosie o' Donnell wasn't a lesbian. I was like, she's.

[Jeff D]

That. She loves Tom Cruise. Listen.

[Podcast Host]

Then she. Yep, she loves Tom Cruise. And then she came out and said, I'm a lesbian. Still didn't want to believe it.

[Ryan Sickler]

I'm like, she's saying.

[Podcast Host]

She's saying it.

[Jeff D]

I like that kind of denial. Just don't let your heroes do what you don't want them to.

[Podcast Host]

No, she couldn't be true.

[Jeff D]

She, like, she has a husband.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, sorry, you have a lesbian.

[Jeff D]

So she has a big meltdown about it. And the church is like, you gotta go. You know, like, whether what? This isn't the way we handle things. You don't just cause a big uprising in the church. Big over this kind of stuff. So my mom, who put like, her faith in the church instead of like, God felt like religion had rejected her. Not that the church had rejected her, that these people in Kent, Washington rejected her. She saw it as like, every Christian's a hypocrite and God must not be real or whatever. She started to believe we didn't care. We're kids. We go. Good. I don't want to go to church on Sunday.

[Ryan Sickler]

Yes.

[Jeff D]

Right. We're so happy. But then I got to an age where I'm. I'm looking for answers, you know, like, I want to know where we go when we die. I want to know what the point of all this is now, my rascal friends that blow up mailboxes when they don't got any answers and they don't care about these questions. And then all the good kids, you know, or, like, you know, no one else really was. I was kind of a young thinker. I just wanted to know the point of things. So the nicest kids at school were Christians who had answers. They're like, oh, you die and you go with Jesus. I was like, oh, that's good enough for me.

[Podcast Host]

What was your, like, church called?

[Jeff D]

Well, I would just go to kind of, like, church functions.

[Podcast Host]

Was there a camp you ever went to?

[Jeff D]

Yeah. I'm trying to think of how it started, though.

[Podcast Host]

You do, like, Christian church camps, Summer camps?

[Jeff D]

Yeah. There's one that was in. I'm having trouble remembering it, but, like, the Christian kids were the nicest kids. And then they would also be like, you want to go snowboarding? I'm like, my mom was never gonna let me go snowboarding. Like, the church will pay for it. And I was like, oh. So it's like, that was what was great about it. The nicest kids. And they had answers. So I just kind of kick it with them and do whatever. And then, yeah, I got into it. Like, I really liked it. That was almost my rebellion.

[Podcast Host]

What kind of trouble are you getting into there? Because I know.

[Jeff D]

Still goofing off.

[Podcast Host]

I was gonna say, yeah, tell me about the. The mailbox friends blowing up, stuff like, who's these kids? Who are these kids?

[Jeff D]

There was a kid in high school named Jordan Shank, and he had all these great stories about. Yeah, I love real. He had all these great stories about, like. Like, the pranks he had done. And so we were just like. We were. I was kind of starstruck by him a little. Like, I thought he was so cool. And so we would try to do it the same pranks.

[Ryan Sickler]

Is he older?

[Jeff D]

No, he was our age, and he would hang out with us sometimes, and later he turned out to be kind of a butthole about it. But, like. Because, like, I'm looking for friends, I'll do anything to just get someone to, like, me, make. Be my buddy. So I would tell stories, but it was, like, Jordan's story. I'd be like, oh, one time this happened. My buddy's like, that was my story that happened to me. I'm like, hey, shut the up. You're ruining this. You know, the kids are laughing, laughing, so. But he would, like, tell us all these stories about, like, tying Fishing line around like a stuffed animal. And then like putting the stuffed animal across the road. And then when a car would come, you pull it across the road like, like an animal's running in front of their car. Dude, so dangerous.

[Podcast Host]

We, you know, we did the same thing, but different. I'll say.

[Jeff D]

And that was on wax road.

[Podcast Host]

We used fishing line. And the funny thing is, see this mailbox right here? But I saw some on the road by your old place, you know, the cluster of mailboxes and.

[Jeff D]

Right.

[Podcast Host]

So we used to do the same thing. We would go fishing string and we would do mailbox to mailbox and we would tie like three or four cans on each end and then the car wouldn't see it. So they drive through it and then the cans are clanging behind them. And then they get out to look for their muffler.

[Jeff D]

Dude, it's the best. Go back to my house. Like we'll go back to like where my parents house was if you can find that. I don't know how.

[Podcast Host]

You're so dumb, dude.

[Jeff D]

This one's wild. You'll love this. I want you to see the mailboxes across from my parents house.

[Ryan Sickler]

I remember.

[Podcast Host]

That's what I'm saying. It reminded me of it. The cluster.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why drop a fortune on basics when you don't have to? Quince has the good stuff. High quality fabrics, classic fits and lightweight layers for warm weather. All at prices that make sense. Quint says closet staples you want to reach for over and over. Like cozy cashmere and cotton sweaters. Breathable flow knit polos like the one I'm wearing right here. Lightweight pants that work for both weekend hangs and dressed up dinners. The best part, everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands. By working directly with the top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markup. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. And premium fabrics and finishes. I decided to update my wardrobe with some Quince Polos, a couple pairs of underwear, and some new sweats. It's comfortable, it's professional without that stiff feeling. A lot of my other nice dress clothes have have. They're my new favorite underwear. I always look for underwear all the time. And let me show you a couple things. Look at that polo right there, y'.

[Podcast Host]

All.

[Ryan Sickler]

Another one. Classic Polos go to Quince now. Keep it classic and cool with long lasting staples from quince. Go to quince.comwayback for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com wayback to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com wayback when you bundle renters and.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Auto with progressive, you can save while protecting your most valuable possessions, like your priceless vinyl collection. Sure, you sleep on a futon because the money most people would have spent on a bed you spent on more records. But forget the fact that you can stream just about any song ever created for a few dollars a month.

[Jeff D]

Month.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

No, no. You need to listen to music in the most difficult way possible. So go ahead and get progressive so you can save while protecting the things that matter to you. Progressive Casualty Insurance company and affiliates and other insurers not available in all statistic situations.

[Jeff D]

Yeah, we had this idea. We're gonna blow up these mailboxes, right?

[Podcast Host]

I. I love punk.

[Jeff D]

It's fun seeing this too. We'd go across that gravel pit. That's where I would run off to look at, like, magazines of tits and see Kirsten.

[Podcast Host]

It's always in the woods.

[Jeff D]

I think a werewolf just jerking off. Oh, yeah. At night, food.

[Podcast Host]

Like, this is where you're jerking.

[Jeff D]

I could have been killed out there. But it's like, you know, I just didn't have any privacy with all this. Decided to go out there. I ran across my tits. I would, like, bury the, like, little magazine with tits so I wouldn't have to find it again, you know? All right, so go to where I see those mailboxes. Yeah, I blew the out of those things. Used to have a little roof on it before me.

[Ryan Sickler]

Wait, real.

[Podcast Host]

So the big one's got us there?

[Jeff D]

That's the roof.

[Podcast Host]

You blew it off.

[Jeff D]

Blasted that off.

[Podcast Host]

Great job, Kirsten. Look at it. There they are.

[Jeff D]

So see that?

[Podcast Host]

I just came by last.

[Jeff D]

See that big one on the right?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jeff D]

That's my parents. Right. So here's the thing.

[Podcast Host]

Would you blow your own up?

[Jeff D]

No. I'm so dumb. They caught me. They go. They go to my fed. They go, your son must have blown up the mailboxes.

[Podcast Host]

You would individually blow all of them up.

[Jeff D]

Not the whole thing. But not my parents. Because we put the explosives in the other ones. Like firecrackers.

[Podcast Host]

That's what I'm saying. You're going individually in all of them but yours.

[Jeff D]

Exactly. And so then, dude, my mom and dad are like, how do you know it's our son? You know, they're all defensive. It's not like they liked me. They just didn't want to get in trouble, you know? So they're like, how do you know it's a. And they're like, well, yours is still there. And I was like, man, I should have blown up ours too. I didn't think. I just didn't want my mom and dad to be mad at me. So, like, I left ours and then blew up the other ones. We getting mail at the end of our driveway for years just because I blew that up. It was amazing.

[Podcast Host]

But I go back to when it newer, when it doesn't have the roof. Look at this guy's got a Suzuki Samurai. Look at this.

[Jeff D]

That's the same cars and the exact same things from over 25 years ago. That van's never moved.

[Podcast Host]

No way. It's not even moved.

[Jeff D]

I swear to you. This is 2008. This is 20, 18.

[Podcast Host]

10 years that things in the same my whole life.

[Jeff D]

I'm saying 40 years is. Is what I'm telling you.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why not just sell it for like 300 bucks and tow it?

[Podcast Host]

The. That's like team. That's what he want. He bought that in the eight. Like, I'm eventually.

[Jeff D]

I'm eventually going to fix this up. 18. I can name every family that lived in every house on that cul de sac. We knew them. We knew their drama. We knew their divorces, their new wives. We knew everything about everyone in the neighborhood except that guy. To be that private, like, that's the most private person in the world.

[Podcast Host]

Okay, you said it was another guy, Mike, in high school. Tell us.

[Jeff D]

Mike Roy.

[Podcast Host]

Mike crazy, too.

[Jeff D]

I still keep up with them.

[Podcast Host]

Okay. Yeah. What? What?

[Jeff D]

Mike was like me. He's kind of a in. I was a lone wolf by accident, you know, Like I said that that was too bad for the good kids and too. Too bad for the good kids and too good for the bad kids. But Mike was like, just beat to his own drum. So. Mike didn't give a shit if I was bad or good. He just was like, you know, Jeff is my friend, and we would, like, just pal around and do you know, it's always like hitting golf balls onto the freeway, you know, playing video games in between, you know, like, no girls liked us.

[Podcast Host]

Us.

[Jeff D]

So we would just go around just kind of killing time. Mike. Roy's the man.

[Podcast Host]

You high school athlete?

[Jeff D]

Nope. Nothing.

[Podcast Host]

No, really.

[Jeff D]

Just a classic.

[Podcast Host]

So you're a big sports fan, but you never played sports? Wasn't good enough, Adam, Even as a child growing up. No, no.

[Jeff D]

We played in the kinds that your parents could pay.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah, I see.

[Jeff D]

You know, they'd be like, oh, we'll pay 100 bucks. And now my son gets to a T shirt and plays in it. And I loved it, but I wasn't good enough. I was also a late bloomer and all that stuff. It's like, I'm probably more athletic now than I was was back then.

[Podcast Host]

What's the most trouble you remember getting in as a kid? Were you. Were your parents strict like that? If you up because.

[Jeff D]

Oh, they were pissed off about my grades all the time. That was always a thing because I got terrible grades. And then my sisters got great grades. So they assumed everyone should get great grades. They didn't understand how I couldn't figure it out. But that was a big one. And then the biggest one was I got caught shoplifting at the super mall.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, hell yeah. What's a super.

[Jeff D]

So go to Auburn. It says super mall in Auburn, Washington. This is an interesting thing that is anyone our age will be able to relate with. Everybody thought their mall was the biggest mall in America. Right. We all believed that. And so we thought the super mall was the largest mall in America in Auburn, Washington. Turns out it was just a mall.

[Podcast Host]

Till you find out about the Mall of America.

[Jeff D]

It sucks. Yeah. Because we didn't have the Internet. I know, right? So when we found out we got a super mall, we're like, what? The super mall is the biggest mall ever. Never invented. I went to. I went to Oshman Super Sports. I want to see if it's still on there. Oshman's. I don't even know if you find it on there, but Oshman's. And I just stole some batting gloves. And these batting gloves were probably like 80 bucks, you know, like for like the baseball team, like those things. And I got caught. I immediately surrendered and my mom picked me up.

[Podcast Host]

Surrender? What do you mean? How old were you?

[Jeff D]

So. Because high school. It was a high school age. Yeah. But here's the thing.

[Podcast Host]

Thing.

[Jeff D]

The guy comes out, he goes, you know why I'm here? He had like a flashed a badge. But he's one of those internal cops. Not cops, internal. He works for the. I could have ran. I could have told him to off. Didn't know. He goes, you know what this is about? And I was like, yes. I just immediately surrender. My friend's like, what? Like I could have just ran.

[Podcast Host]

So you're still in the store?

[Jeff D]

Still in the store.

[Podcast Host]

My dad taught me, man. My buddy stole condoms one time we were in a CVS and he got caught and a guy grabbed him before we got out. Of the store. And my dad said, that's not. He said you could put it in your pocket and walk it to the register. You should have just said, I'm going up to pay for these.

[Jeff D]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

They can't get. Or just run before you leave the store.

[Jeff D]

Yeah, there's no way that guy's gonna find me at my house. There's no police pursuit for bad.

[Podcast Host]

I should have just ran.

[Jeff D]

It took hours for the cops to get there. Yeah, he put me in the little stall.

[Podcast Host]

What the are we doing here?

[Jeff D]

Put me in this little room. Takes a Polaroid of me. Like, you're banned from the mall. And I'm like, this is all happening, happening. And it's like, I should have just ran. Cops finally show up. They're like, dude, we don't know this kid. Seems like a nice kid, you know, but my mom. My mom's looking at me like. My mom was so rattled by the whole thing. She's like, are you in a gang? Like, I'm like, yeah, I look like I'm in a baseball. It like, literally, like, flipped her universe. It's like, you know, common shoplifting is. Anyway, so that was definitely the most trouble ever got in. My mom didn't even want to look at me. She was so embarrassed.

[Podcast Host]

And did you get grounded for that?

[Jeff D]

Oh, everything. I was like, completely.

[Podcast Host]

What do they do when you get grounded? What are your.

[Jeff D]

It's just like every other thing in your room.

[Podcast Host]

Take away all your.

[Jeff D]

Yeah, but I didn't have. And we weren't, you know, so we didn't really affect anything. You're like, I'm already always in here.

[Podcast Host]

He was like, I'm just going to go over across the rock pit and jerk off.

[Jeff D]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Jeff D]

Sneak out. Yeah. For real, Dude. That is a. That gravel pit.

[Podcast Host]

Can I still go outside? Yeah, at night.

[Jeff D]

Like, wait till 2am Just run across there like a wolf.

[Podcast Host]

Dude, this is fun. Thank you for doing this.

[Jeff D]

Thanks for having me, buddy.

[Podcast Host]

One more time, promote whatever you'd like.

[Jeff D]

Please go to jeff die.com. find tickets for when I'm coming to your town. Also, just Google Jeff D. Check me out.

[Podcast Host]

All right, man. Thank you as always, Ryan Sickler on all your social media. We'll talk to you all next week.

[Ryan Sickler]

Why drop a fortune on basics when you don't have to? Quint has the good stuff. High quality fabrics, classic fits and lightweight layers for warm weather. All at prices that make sense sense. Quint says closet staples you'll want to reach for over and over. Like cozy cashmere and cotton sweaters. Breathable flow knit Polos like the one I'm wearing right here. Lightweight pants that work for both weekend hangs and dressed up dinners. The best part? Everything with Quince is half the cost of similar brands. By working directly with the top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quince gives you luxury pieces without the markup. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I decided to update my wardrobe with some Quince Polos, a couple pairs of underwear and some new sweats. It's comfortable, it's professional without that stiff feeling a lot of my other nice dress clothes have. They're my new favorite underwear. I always look for underwear all the time. And let me show you a couple things. Look at that polo right there y'.

[Podcast Host]

All.

[Ryan Sickler]

There's another one. Classic Polos Go to Quints now. Keep it classic and cool with long lasting staples from quince. Go to quints.com wayback back for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q U I N C E dot com wayback to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com wayback when you bundle renters and.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Auto with progressive, you can save while protecting your most valuable possessions like your priceless vinyl collection. Sure, you sleep on a futon because the money most people would have spent on a bed you spent on more records. But forget the fact that you can stream just about any song ever created for a few dollars a month. No, you need to listen to music in the most difficult way possible. So go ahead and get progressive so you can save while protecting the things that matter to you. Progressive Cavity Insurance company and affiliates and other insurers not available in all stage of situations.