Gifts for the Hard-to-Please

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Wirecutter Show - "Gifts for the Hard-to-Please"

Release Date: December 11, 2024

In this engaging episode of The Wirecutter Show, hosts Christine Cyr Clisset, Kyra Blackwell, and Rosie Guerin delve into the perennial challenge of finding the perfect gifts for those notoriously difficult to please. Joining them is special guest Samantha Shea, a seasoned writer from Wirecutter's gift team, who offers expert insights and practical solutions to elevate your gift-giving game.

---

Introduction to the Challenge of Gifting

The episode kicks off with Christine Cyr Clisset humorously admitting her reputation as a tough gift recipient. Her candidness sets the stage for the episode's central theme: navigating the complexities of gifting to those who seem to have everything.

Christine Cyr Clisset: "I have so many strong opinions. I honestly get enraged when I get a gift that I don't like." [01:05]

Rosie Guerin echoes Christine's sentiments, highlighting the universal struggle many face when selecting meaningful presents for such individuals.

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Listener Questions and Expert Advice

To provide comprehensive guidance, the hosts invite listeners to share their gifting dilemmas. Samantha Shea steps in to address these queries, drawing from her extensive experience in curated gift recommendations.

1. Matching a Thoughtful Spouse's Gift-Giving

Listener Scenario: A listener finds it challenging to match their spouse's high standards for thoughtful and surprising gifts, especially under budget constraints.

Samantha's Advice: She recommends focusing on utilitarian yet luxurious upgrades to everyday items. Personalization is also key, as it adds a heartfelt touch that demonstrates forethought.

Notable Quote: "Personalized stuff is both a gift and a gesture that says, like, I thought ahead and I thought of you, and I had this made for you." [08:42]

Examples Provided:

• Aesthetic stainless steel French presses.
• Upgraded kitchen knives.
• Personalized items like engraved bracelets or custom viewfinders containing personal photos.

2. Gifting for Friends with Limited Space

Listener Scenario: Kelly from Philadelphia seeks creative, non-clutter gifts for a friend who lives in a tiny studio apartment and has specific tastes.

Samantha's Advice: She suggests experiential gifts that foster connection without adding physical clutter. Subscription services, such as tea or book clubs, paired with virtual meetups, can be both meaningful and space-efficient.

Notable Quote: "Combining something that is an experience, not a material good and an excuse to connect with someone who lives far away is a really great idea." [14:43]

Additional Suggestions:

• One-time subscription boxes tailored to the friend's interests.
• Consumable gifts like gourmet food items or specialty skincare products.

3. Selecting Gifts for Non-Materialistic, Tech-Savvy Siblings

Listener Scenario: Alyssa from Minneapolis struggles to find meaningful gifts for her brother, a tech enthusiast who prefers minimalism.

Samantha's Advice: She advises focusing on upgrades to items he already uses, personalized gadgets, or high-quality consumables that complement his interests without contributing to clutter.

Suggestions Include:

• Premium insulated growlers for beer enthusiasts.
• Personalized grilling tools or humorous caricature prints.
• Subscriptions to audiobook or streaming services that align with his hobbies.

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General Gifting Principles

Beyond specific listener questions, the episode touches on broader gifting principles that can assist in various scenarios.

Re-gifting Etiquette

Samantha's Take: She advocates for re-gifting as a sustainable option when done thoughtfully.

Notable Quote: "Always reuse, recycle. Like it's better than something going to waste." [20:55]

However, she cautions against re-gifting within one's immediate social circle to avoid awkwardness.

Returning Unwanted Gifts

Samantha's Guidance: Returning a gift that doesn't resonate is acceptable, especially when accompanied by a gift receipt to facilitate exchanges.

Notable Quote: "I'm a yay on that." [21:09]

She emphasizes the importance of ensuring the recipient receives something they value and will use.

Gift Giving Obligations

The hosts discuss the balance between obligatory gift-giving in social settings, like office parties, and more heartfelt exchanges. Samantha encourages focusing on the sentiment behind the gift rather than the material aspect, especially in obligatory scenarios.

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Special Focus: Gifting to Elderly Relatives

Listener Scenario: A listener from Chapel Hill faces the challenge of selecting gifts for elderly relatives who already possess numerous belongings.

Samantha's Solution: She recommends live citrus trees or easy-to-maintain plants as enduring and meaningful gifts that avoid adding clutter. These living gifts symbolize growth and care, offering something fresh and vibrant to the recipients' lives.

Notable Quote: "They keep it alive and it's not really your problem, but they're not difficult to keep alive." [29:12]

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Closing Remarks and Final Tips

As the episode draws to a close, the hosts conduct a light-hearted "lightning round" with Samantha, touching on various gifting norms such as the appropriateness of cash gifts and the etiquette surrounding gift exchanges. Samantha shares personal anecdotes, reinforcing the episode's practical advice with relatable experiences.

Samantha's Final Thought: "Get him a really nice yeti cooler. Done." [18:28]

The episode concludes with the hosts encouraging listeners to follow the show for more insightful discussions and to explore Wirecutter’s comprehensive product recommendations for curated gift ideas.

---

Conclusion

"Gifts for the Hard-to-Please" is a treasure trove of thoughtful strategies and creative solutions for anyone grappling with the art of gift-giving. Whether you're aiming to impress a discerning spouse, a space-conscious friend, or an elderly relative, this episode offers valuable insights to ensure your gifts are both meaningful and cherished.

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For more detailed recommendations and product links mentioned in this episode, visit nytimes.com/wirecutter.

Transcript

[Ad Sponsor]

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[Christine Cyr Clasette]

From the New York Times, you're listening to the Wirecutter Show.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Hey, everyone, it's the Wirecutter Show. I'm Kyra Blackwell.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

I'm Christine Cyr Clasette.

[Rosie Guerin]

And I'm Rosie Guerin. And we work at Wirecutter, the product recommendation site from the New York Times.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Each week we bring you expert advice from Our newsroom of 140 journalists who review everyday products that will make your life better.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

This episode of the Wirecutter show is called Gifts for the Hard to please.

[Rosie Guerin]

Christine, do you think you're a hard person to shop for?

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Oh, I am totally a hard person to shop for. I'm a terrible person to shop for. I have so many strong opinions. I honestly get enraged when I get a gift that I don't like.

[Kyra Blackwell]

That's funny.

[Rosie Guerin]

That's really funny.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

I actually have a reputation at work for throwing away things that I don't like.

[Rosie Guerin]

Well, then this episode is for anyone who's ever had to buy Christine Cyrclisette.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Absolutely.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

I feel sorry for my kids when they're adults, and I'm going to be like that person they tell stories about.

[Kyra Blackwell]

They're going to call into this podcast.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

They're going to be like, people calling into this podcast.

[Rosie Guerin]

Well, I ask this because if you've been into a CVS lately, you know, we're coming up on the holiday season, and it's time to think about ideally good gifts. So last week, we talked with Hannah Morrell, our gift editor here at Wirecutter, about some general rules to follow for gifting, particularly for affordable G. This week, we're going more advanced. We're tackling gifts for the impossible to buy for people in your life. People like, gosh, I don't know, Christine, who have everything they want. The bar's really high. You gotta knock it out of the park.

[Samantha Shea]

Yeah.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

I mean, for me, it's like, if I have all the stuff I want, I need to be delighted by the. By the things that people are gonna give me. I know that's like a very privileged place to sit.

[Kyra Blackwell]

The bar could never get any higher than that, though.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

That's the.

[Kyra Blackwell]

That's the hard part. There's so much pressure and you don't know what the rules are. And like, I don't know. I don't know about you, Christine, but I feel like if you get one good gift one year, you have to continue topping it for the rest of your life.

[Rosie Guerin]

Up and up and up and up. So today we'll build on the rules we talked about last week. The rules of thumb. And we'll talk about finding good gifts for these impossible to buy for people in our lives. The classic lineup. Grandparents, dads, Christine. Picky siblings, spouses, Christine. Friends who have everything. Christine, et cetera.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Did you mention me?

[Samantha Shea]

Did you mention me yet?

[Rosie Guerin]

Sorry, it's in my script here, Christine team.

[Kyra Blackwell]

And because we didn't want to just sit in the studio and toss them around to each other, we're not the experts on this subject, we did decide to open up the discussion to our listeners.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

That's right. I mean, we aren't the experts, but we do have strong opinions. Oh, totally. Strong opinions, always. We asked listeners of the Wirecutter show to send us stories about the trickiest people in their lives. The people who are hardest to shop for. To field those questions, we've brought in a special guest, Samantha Shea. She's not only a writer on Wirecutter's gift team, she's a fiction writer, a parent, and an incredibly thoughtful gift giver.

[Rosie Guerin]

And a lovely human. And likes to receive really lovely and delightful gifts. So is also thinking about giving lovely and delightful gifts.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

That's right. And I would trust anything that Samantha recommends. Honestly, she's got great taste. After the break, Sam will tackle your toughest gift questions. We're going to see if we can stump her.

[Kyra Blackwell]

I would love to stump her, honestly. Not that that's her job, but.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

But it's like a good goal. We're working towards a goal in this episode.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Yeah. This is the Wirecutter show. And we will be right back.

[Ad Sponsor]

This podcast is brought to you by Apple Pay. During the holidays, I am a big online shopper thanks to Apple Pay, and that's because I don't have to waste time typing all my info into those long checkout forms. Plus, Apple Pay is made to be secure thanks to the built in technology of Face id, which is designed so that only I can authorize payments this season, do what I do, and pay the Apple way. Apple Pay is a service provided by Apple Payment Services llc, a subsidiary of Apple Inc. Any card used in Apple pay is offered by the card issuer.

[Rosie Guerin]

I gave my brother a New York Times subscription.

[Samantha Shea]

She sent me a year long subscription so I have access to all the games.

[Rosie Guerin]

We'll do wordle mini spelling bee.

[Samantha Shea]

It has given us a personal connection.

[Rosie Guerin]

We exchange articles and so having read the same article, we can discuss it.

[Samantha Shea]

The coverage, the options. It's not just news.

[Listener]

Such a diversified disc.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

I was really excited to give him a New York Times cooking subscription so that we could share recipes and we even just shared a recipe the other day.

[Rosie Guerin]

The New York Times contributes to our quality time together.

[Kyra Blackwell]

You have all of that information at your fingertips.

[Samantha Shea]

It enriches our relationship, broadening our horizons. It was such a cool and thoughtful gift.

[Rosie Guerin]

We're reading the same stuff, we're making the same food.

[Kyra Blackwell]

We're on the same page.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Connect even more with someone you care about. Learn more about giving a New York Times subscription as a [e-mail] gift get.

[Rosie Guerin]

A special rate if you act before December 26th.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Welcome back to the Wirecutter Show. Our guest today is Samantha Shea. Samantha is a staff writer on our gift team and she's written about some esoteric gift topics like gifts for travelers, coffee lovers, pickleball players, co workers, engagement gifts, and gifts for people who love to clean.

[Ad Sponsor]

Who is that?

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

I want to know.

[Kyra Blackwell]

I don't know.

[Samantha Shea]

My. My mom. Babe.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Yeah.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Sam also spends almost every day of the year researching and on the hunt for gifts. So this is her whole bread and butter.

[Rosie Guerin]

Welcome, Sam.

[Samantha Shea]

Thank you so much. I'm excited.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Sam, first of all, it is so cool that your whole job is just gifting. Over the last few weeks, we've put out a call to our listeners of the Wirecutter show. Basically just asking for stories about the people in their lives who are impossible to buy gifts for. And we knew that we were already going to redirect these questions to you because this is not our wheelhouse, it's yours. So you're really good at gifts. We want to get into it.

[Samantha Shea]

Great. I'm ready.

[Rosie Guerin]

All right. Well, perhaps unsurprisingly, we got a huge number of calls. People need your help, Sam. So I think we should jump right in. Here is our first call. You ready?

[Listener]

Hello, wirecutter. So my spouse is a very good gift giver. She always gets me thoughtful and surprising presents and she has really good taste. And I really struggle to reach a bar set that high. I'm pretty forgetful. So I've tried keeping lists for when she mentions stuff throughout the year, but. But it's all just so utilitarian. I know she loves big gestures, like a surprise trip or something handmade. But this year, money and time are both very tight. So I'm wondering if you have any ideas to help think about this better or just suggestions for good gifts. Thank you.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Oh, man. I think this is a really good place to start. So clearly this. This person, he has a spouse who is great at gifting, and he's trying to raise the bar on his own gifting. Sam, how would you guide him thinking through what to get his wife?

[Samantha Shea]

So, first of all, a lot of people are in this situation where they feel like their partner is really good and they struggle. And a lot of people really, truly struggle with gift giving. It causes them anxiety. It makes them feel all sorts of ways about themselves that they don't want to feel. It brings up money. It's like, you know, it can be an emotional thing. But for this listener, he mentions that she brings up utilitarian stuff. I think that's a good place to start, actually, because it lets us know that she likes stuff that has some sort of use. So I would think about, for her, like, really nice upgrades to stuff that you already use or know she needs, like aesthetic or luxury upgrades to a coffee pot. We have these regular old French presses on the site, and then we have, like, these beautiful aesthetic brushed stainless steel French presses, if that's our thing. Or we have a new guide on robes that's about to come out, and I happen to be testing the linen robe on that list, and it's so nice. I love it so much.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

What's the brand?

[Samantha Shea]

Rufflinen. Oh, okay.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Yeah, I love that.

[Samantha Shea]

Which is we. I love them, too. And they're a new pick for us. So, like, you know, those are utilitarian, but they can also be luxury. A beautiful new kitchen knife, like, but a really nice one. Anything like that that has a use but also has an aesthetic value or sort of a luxury feel. So that's a place to start. And then also when he talks about personalized, like, we have an entire gift guide of personalized gifts. So if he's thinking about that, literally, personalized stuff is both a gift and a gesture that says, like, I thought ahead and I thought of you, and I had this made for you. So there's all sorts of great stuff. There's like a handwriting cuff bracelet where you can write something and then it's engraved on the bracelet in your handwriting. And you can also do it with somebody like, say, who's passed, like you could do a parent or a grandparent. There's also this great retro viewfinder. You hold it to your eyes and you click through like the view master for those of you who are old enough to remember that. But you can get personalized one. So you create a reel of photos and they click through and it's like an old fashioned viewfinder slideshow, but it's photos that you've put together. That's sweet. It is sweet. I actually have one because I tested it and it's sitting like on a stack of books in my living room. Every single person who comes over to my house picks that thing up and looks at it. Oh, that's so fun. Yeah. If you're really going personalize, I love that category of gift and I think we have a lot of good ideas on the site.

[Kyra Blackwell]

When I hear personalized, I automatically assume it's going to cost more because it's a very specific thing. But can you find personalized gifts that are still well within budget?

[Samantha Shea]

Absolutely. Fifty?

[Kyra Blackwell]

Under a hundred maybe?

[Samantha Shea]

Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Everything I just named is under 100 and in some cases under 50.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Lovely.

[Samantha Shea]

If we, I mean, we have a straw, like a drinking straw that you can get someone's name spelled out in that's under 20. So yeah.

[Rosie Guerin]

Sam, for your suggestion on utilitarian gifts, I'm wondering if there's anything to keep in mind giving a spouse who might be the one who is doing the cooking, the one who is doing the cleaning, giving them the utilitarian gift. Is there anything worth avoiding there or sort of swinging in the other direction so that you're not sending the message.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Of like, go make me breakfast.

[Rosie Guerin]

I bought you a knife so you can chop the garlic for my meal tonight.

[Samantha Shea]

100%. I mean, we all know the cliche of like the 1950s husband giving his wife a vacuum cleaner for Christmas, right? Like, don't do that. Do not anyone a vacuum cleaner. I forgot to mention that rule. You don't want to give someone anything that's chore related. You want to give something that's joy related. So when I say utilitarian, like I mentioned a coffee, like if they're into coffee, give them that. If they're not, don't, you know, if they really like to cook and appreciate really nice utensils and tools, then give them an excellent knife. If cooking is a chore, don't do that. So you have to definitely be aware of that. You just, you have to know your recipient.

[Rosie Guerin]

I think about this with little kids gifts, because I'm right in that pocket right now. And I genuinely think very rigorously about whether I'm giving the parents work where I'm like, okay, you know, do I get them this kinetic sand kit? Their kid is going to have a lot of fun with it. It's going to press and keep together. Right. It couldn't possibly be actual sand that goes everywhere around their house. And then they're going have to vacuum it and then never.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

The answer is always no for me.

[Rosie Guerin]

All right, let's roll into another listener question.

[Listener]

I'm Wirecutter. My name is Kelly, and I'm calling from Philadelphia. The person who I'm struggling to get a gift for is my best friend. She lives in a tiny studio apartment and doesn't have a ton of room for more stuff. You might say, buy her an experience, but the ones that I can find are too expensive. Or you might say, get her a gift card, which is not a bad idea, but I'm looking for something more creative. So she likes coffee, vintage glassware in the outdoors, and dislikes bright and pastel colors. Taylor Swift and cluttered me up her space. Can you help me out with this one? Thank you.

[Kyra Blackwell]

I really like that she put in that detail about how her friend does not like Taylor Swift. But this is a great question, and I think it's probably one that's relevant for a lot of people. The desire to get somebody something that you know you care about, you want it to be a great gift, but not wanting to spend a lot of money and not wanting to get them something that will clutter their space. Sam, what is your advice for Kelly?

[Samantha Shea]

So experiential gifts are a little bit hard for us to land on at Wirecutter because we're a national publication. So we can't send someone to a specific spa or restaurant or hiking trail or anything like that. But there are ideas of how to create your own that would work anywhere. And I just got this great idea from a Wirecutter reader. Money is the main concern when it comes for her. This woman that I was talking to, when it comes to gift buying for a lot of people, yeah, exact. For most people, it's a huge part of the equation. But like Kelly, she wanted to do something really meaningful for her friends. So she got a tea subscription service for both of them. And then when the teas would arrive, they would do like a zoom call or a Google Meet and taste the tea together. But it was really an excuse to get together once a month and Connect because they didn't live in the same place. And I was like, ugh, that's kind of genius. I love that idea. So you could do that around anything that you have in common. It could be tea, it could be books, it could be chocolate. So I like the idea of a subscription for that that you can share and that can get expensive, but you could also put it together yourself if a subscription service was too expensive.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

And some subscription services, they will allow you to buy a one off box, right?

[Samantha Shea]

Absolutely.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

You could just do it one time if you don't want to have an ongoing cost every month.

[Samantha Shea]

Yeah, exactly. I mean, they sell in brick and mortar and online tea sampler sets. So you could just do it that way if tea is the thing. But I think the idea of combining something that is an experience, not a material good and an excuse to connect with someone who lives far away is a really great idea.

[Kyra Blackwell]

I love that. I might be stealing that.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Yeah, me too. One of my favorite wire cutter recommendations for a food basket is the Bokksu Japanese snacks.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Oh, I love that.

[Samantha Shea]

Me too.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

And I send those to my nieces and nephews, so maybe I'll do that with my kids too and they can all.

[Rosie Guerin]

You can send that to me this year.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

You have snacks.

[Samantha Shea]

Okay, that's such a good idea.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

What are some other ideas that you have for Kelly?

[Samantha Shea]

So another thing that comes to mind right off the bat is consumables. Not only like a one off edible of food, but something like a book that you know, that you have picked out that has some personal relevance. And you could be like my aunt Cynthia, who will not give a book without inscribing it. It's kind of old fashioned, but I love it so much. And I have books throughout my life inscribed from my aunt, so. Or even like nice skincare, you know, something that is nice, but she will use it up and it's not going to clutter her house.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

I like that.

[Rosie Guerin]

Sam. Dads. Can we talk about dads?

[Samantha Shea]

Let's talk about dads.

[Rosie Guerin]

Dads can be difficult to shop for. Either they have everything they want. Nothing. I'm, I guess speaking about my dad and mine. And your dad.

[Samantha Shea]

Yeah.

[Rosie Guerin]

What is a good, safe gift for a dad?

[Samantha Shea]

Okay, first of all, I know we want to, but we can't actually talk about dads as a single category because, for example, my dad is a nearly 82 year old guy who lives in rural Vermont, but my kid's dad is a 52 year old guy who lives in the city. So, you know, dads are not a monolith. Are not a monolith. You know, we joke all the time about, like, barbecue stuff and whiskey stones. Like, that is such the easy way out and.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Or a toolbox.

[Samantha Shea]

Yeah. People.

[Rosie Guerin]

My dad would not want any of those things.

[Samantha Shea]

Neither would mine. My dad wouldn't know a whiskey stone, like. And my dad likes whiskey. But no, my go to for my dad is books and booze. So he likes to read, he likes to drink. That's what I get him. But I think the sweet spot is to kind of straddle something that he already loves but needs an upgrade on. I was just visiting my dad last weekend in Vermont, and his tattered old ratty slippers are truly pathetic. So I could get him an upgrade of something he already has. Same with, like, flannel shirts. He's a Vermonter. He wears a lot of flannel shirts. They're tattered and. And faded. And I could get them an upgrade. So it's not like reinventing the wheel. It's kind of just paying attention to stuff that, you know, they use, you know, they like. And they're just really bad at buying themselves new versions or upgrading their tattered old stuff.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

That rings very true to me. I know some men and dads who are happy to buy themselves things that they want, but I know a lot of them that just like that they. They'll just. They'll wear like, the shirt until there's holes in it or the slippers until there's a hole in the toe or whatever. So I think I might steal that.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Idea, but I feel like not to make this all about me and put you in the hot seat, but my dad is the kind of person who likes nice things and will constantly be upgrading this stuff when it's, like, out of use. So I find that it's really hard to get him anything tangible. We have to go for experiences, and I've run out of ideas.

[Samantha Shea]

I think people who like nice things are actually the easiest people to buy for because you can get them beautiful things. And that's my wheel. I like beautiful things. I don't like clutter. I don't like junk. But I really like beautiful design y things.

[Rosie Guerin]

I think that's my gift to my family is that I'm just give me something beautiful and expensive, you know, I'm so easy.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Right. Well, what does your dad like?

[Kyra Blackwell]

Oh, man. Yeah, he just likes fancy stuff.

[Samantha Shea]

Get him a really nice yeti cooler.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Okay. I could do that.

[Samantha Shea]

Yeah. They're super nice. They're useful. They're expensive.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

It's got the branding on the side. It tells everyone it's nice and fancy.

[Samantha Shea]

And it truly is.

[Kyra Blackwell]

And he doesn't have that, actually.

[Samantha Shea]

Okay. All right. Get him a yeti cooler. Done. Okay. Okay. Thank you. Sure. I am a wizard.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Okay, we're going to take a quick break and then when we're back, we're going to talk about the etiquette around returning bad gifts, strategies for re gifting, plus ideas for older relatives, and more listener questions. Be right back.

[Ad Sponsor]

This podcast is brought to you by Apple Pay. During the holidays, I'm a big online shopper thanks to Apple Pay, and that's because I don't have to waste time typing all my info into those long checkout forms. Plus, Apple Pay is made to be secure thanks to the built in technology of Face id, which is designed so that only I can authorize payments this season, do what I do and pay the Apple way. Apple Pay is a service provided by Apple Payment Services, llc, a subsidiary of Apple Inc. Any card used in Apple Pay is offered by the card issuers.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Welcome back to the Wirecutter Show. This episode is all about gifting and finding gifts for those hard to please people in our lives. Our guest today is one of our wire cutter gift writers, Samantha Shea. Sam, before we jump back into listener questions, I have a few questions that are going to zoom out a little bit about the general rules of gifting, and I want to see if you actually subscribe to these or not.

[Samantha Shea]

Okay. Lightning round.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

It's kind of a lightning round. Yeah, definitely. Don't overthink it. Just give me your first gut reaction. Is cold, hard cash the king of.

[Samantha Shea]

Gifts for anyone under 20? Yes, under 20. Sorry, you've aged out.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

But, like, will a one year old won't appreciate a box of money?

[Samantha Shea]

No, no, no. A one year old won't appreciate. Well for anyone over 11 and under 20 if they're older than 20, you have to be really thrown down and then we're in a hole.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Yeah, then it's a lot of money. All right, next question. When is it appropriate to regift?

[Samantha Shea]

Always. Always what? Yeah, Okay. I mean, you have to be careful. Don't re gift it in your circle.

[Kyra Blackwell]

You know, Here, actually take this back.

[Samantha Shea]

Yeah, that's inappropriate. But hey, reuse, recycle. Like it's better than something going to waste.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Yeah, okay. I like that.

[Samantha Shea]

Okay.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Yay or nay on returning gifts that you hate.

[Samantha Shea]

Oh, I'm a yay on that. Okay. But I know there's an emotional component and if it's pains you like, if you feel like it's a front to the person who gave it to you, you know, you do you. I'm not. I don't want anyone to feel terrible, and I know some people really do, even if they don't like it or it doesn't fit, they don't want to return it. But generally, yes.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Are you pro. Including a gift receipt?

[Samantha Shea]

Yes.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Okay.

[Samantha Shea]

I don't want to give anyone anything they don't want or is useless to them. So, yeah, I'm pro gift receipt. I want someone to return something if they don't like it.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Great. All right, so if someone gives you a gift, do you have to give them a gift in return?

[Samantha Shea]

No, you don't. I mean, sometimes you're caught by surprise and you can't, and it's awkward. I mean, this is.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Rosie loves to hear it. She's cheering right now.

[Samantha Shea]

Rosie doesn't like to give gifts.

[Rosie Guerin]

I don't like to give gifts. If I don't want to give a gift, like, the whole idea is thought. And if I haven't prepared with, you know, love and thoughtfulness in my heart, then why am I getting you a goo.

[Kyra Blackwell]

So basically, I'm getting you a Christmas scandal.

[Samantha Shea]

Well, I mean, happy holidays. I mean, okay, that is the best of how we hope to operate. But there's a lot of obligatory gift giving in our lives. It just is, you know, so office parties, white elephant, that kind of thing. Like, you don't have to put your heart and soul into that. But in terms of giving a gift, because you've been given one only if you know it's coming. But we're. Sometimes we're blindsided by gifts. And then you just be your most gracious self and thank the person. That's really all you can do. You can't, like, rummage around in your bag like, oh, here's the olive oil I always have on hand.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

All right, Sam, we have another listener question. Are you ready?

[Samantha Shea]

I am.

[Listener]

Hello, my name is Alex, and I'm calling from San Diego, California. And I myself am an impossible to shop for gift recipient. As a professional in the environmental space, more is not necessarily better. And then what I do want are usually things that are pretty big and significant that require a lot of personal research, like a new bicycle. So not quite sure what can be done for me, but big sorry to all of my loved ones who try very hard and are met with me.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Okay, so I'm wondering if you have people in your life like this and what you Recommend.

[Samantha Shea]

Yes, I do have people in my life like this. I mean, this is a place where you steer away from stuff unless it's a consumable. And this is another great place for experiential gifts. I have a really good childhood friend who's an organic farmer and she saves her own seeds. Like there's nothing I can get her that's organic farmy because she knows so much more than I do. But I can get her a book. Like a book is never clutter. Olive oil is never clutter. This is also a really good place for digital gifts. So masterclass is, you know, you can get them, buy them a class on something. We have painting classes online. You can buy them a subscription to like Libro fm or if they're into audiobooks, you can buy them Met opera subscriptions so they can watch opera on their television. Or there's all sorts of cool streaming subscriptions, like for, you know, British TV or for indie movies. That's a good place to think about that. Like something that is either entertaining or life enhancing in some way. You're learning something new, but isn't a thing. Thing.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

I like that.

[Samantha Shea]

Yeah.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

Let's play another listener question. This one is from Alyssa, who's trying to find something thoughtful for her brother.

[Listener]

Hi, wire cutter. This is Alyssa from Minneapolis and I need your help. I cannot figure out what to buy my brother, ever. He's a computer programming nerd, but also snarky and sarcastic, so he's not a total introvert. He loves new tech, but he always can either build it or buy it himself. He loves smart home tech, but he already has everything set up the way he likes it. He also has a really fancy bidet in his bathroom. He enjoys running, but he has all of the tools already to track his speed, distance and heart rate. He dresses very simply, so a lot of black, no patterns. Always buys the same pair of black sneakers because he likes them and he knows what he likes. He lives in a studio condo, so he's very simple, does not have room for a bunch of stuff. He loves to grill and drink beer. I was very proud of myself. I bought him a cooler one year and it was a good cooler and that was a good one. But I just don't know what to buy him. He's not a materialistic person and I also want it to be meaningful in the sense that it's well thought out for what he likes to do and what's important to him. Thank you. I really hope you can help me. I love your show. It's awesome. I've really enjoyed listening to it and have told a lot of people about it. So thanks so much.

[Rosie Guerin]

First of all, thanks, Alyssa. Yeah, thanks for the love, Alyssa.

[Kyra Blackwell]

So sweet.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

And now that we know Alyssa's brother doesn't need a bidet, which.

[Samantha Shea]

That narrows it down. No, I've got you, Alyssa. I do. So I would think again about upgrades of the stuff that, you know, he likes. Does he listen to anything while he runs? You could get him an audiobook subscription. If he does, he probably already has the earbuds or headphones that he likes. So you want to stay away from the techie stuff, but you can think about offering him more stuff to listen to. For example. Okay, so he likes to grill. We have what I think is very funny and very hilarious, which is a personalized steak brand for grilling in our personalized gifts. It's like. It's an actual. It's like, forged in Texas by the people who make brands for cattle. But it's mini, so you can stamp your burgers. It's funny, and it's a good quality thing. And, you know, it's. I know it's kind of a novelty, and I know he doesn't want a lot of stuff, but this is something that would, like, hang with the grill tools that he's already has and is using or like, for beer. We have this great growler. I don't know if he goes to, like, a brew pub and buys beer, but if he is that kind of beer drinker, this insulated growler that we have, wirecutter, is recommended for a really long time because it's super tough. You could take it camping and drop it down at Path and it would be fine. You know, we also have home brewing kits. It could verge on the chore gift, but if, you know it's something that he's interested in, that could be a great gift for a beer lover. I also am getting this vibe from the description of your brother that he might like a happy tuned print, which is like a caricature of him or him in a pet or whatever, done in his favorite adult cartoons for, like, Bob's Burgers or done in the style of Simpsons. Oh, God, I don't know. Just the nerdy tech person is somehow. But that's really popular gift.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Okay, so this is a question that we got from Kuadi in Chapel Hill asking specifically about finding gifts for their elderly relatives.

[Listener]

Dear Wire Cutter, my gift giving challenge is buying gifts for elderly relatives. These are people that I don't know very well. And I see them only once a year. These people have houses full of stuff. The last thing that I want to do is to add to the clutter. I have tried to find things that they can use or consume. However, with food items, many of them have dietary restrictions. I am running out of ideas. Please suggest some good alternatives. Thank you.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Wow.

[Samantha Shea]

Okay. Congratulations. You have the hardest gift giving.

[Kyra Blackwell]

It can't exist. Can't exist be consumed.

[Samantha Shea]

Right. There's a lot of barriers here.

[Rosie Guerin]

I.

[Samantha Shea]

Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but why are you getting these people gifts? Is one of the. Is my first question. This. To me, if she sees them once a year, she doesn't know them very well. To me, this is not. This is somebody you. Maybe you bring them flowers and a really nice card. But if gift giving is a tradition and you have to give them a gift, the first thing that comes to mind for me is we recommend these live citrus trees from a company called Fast Growing Trees. Super popular because you can grow, you know, lemons or limes or more exotic citrus fruits inside. And it's a beautiful gift, and the person might love it and keep it alive and they might not, and it's not really your problem, but they're. They're not difficult to keep alive. I think fresh cut flowers or a potted plant, maybe they're not huge plant enthusiasts, but it's not. It's not insulting. It's not. It doesn't. It doesn't really meet the definition of clutter. And it's more of a gesture than a gift, which is what I think this situation calls for.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Okay, Sam, so before we wrap, we usually ask our guests one final question. What's the last thing you bought that you really love?

[Samantha Shea]

I bought myself a pair of gorgeous chunky loafers in Milan.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Ooh.

[Samantha Shea]

And I'm in love with them.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Loafers are shoes, right? Yeah. I'm like, this is being so uncultured.

[Samantha Shea]

What are they made out of leather with? Like a. Chunky loafers are a classic slip on shoe. Like a penny loafer.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Nice.

[Samantha Shea]

So that's the last thing I bought for myself that I loved.

[Kyra Blackwell]

I love that.

[Rosie Guerin]

Sam, thanks for joining us.

[Samantha Shea]

Thanks for having me. This is fun.

[Kyra Blackwell]

Super fun. All right, that's it for us this week.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

And hey, if you aren't following the show already, please do.

[Samantha Shea]

We would love it wherever you listen.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

To podcasts, Apple, Spotify, YouTube. We are on YouTube, and that way you'll never miss an episode.

[Rosie Guerin]

If you want to find out more about wire Cutter's coverage. Or if you want to check out the products Sam recommended Today, go to nytimes.com wirecutter or find a link in the show notes. And here's what's coming up next week on the Wire Cutter show.

[Samantha Shea]

They light an identical fire in each room. And after four minutes, the house with natural furnishings. I mean, it's a fire for sure, but it's something still kind of manageable. And the other room with modern sort of synthetic is just completely engulfed in flames.

[Rosie Guerin]

The Wire Cutter show is executive produced by me, Rosie Guerin and produced by Abigail Keel. Editing by Abigail Keel, engineering support from Maddy Mazziello and Nick Pittman. Today's episode was mixed by Katherine Anderson, original music by Dan Powell, Marian Lozano, Alicia Baitup and Diane Wong. Wirecutter's deputy publisher and interim general manager is Cliff Levy. Ben Fruman is Wirecutter's editor in chief.

[Kyra Blackwell]

I'm Kyra Blackwell.

[Christine Cyr Clasette]

I'm Christine Cyr Claset.

[Rosie Guerin]

And I'm Rosie Guerin. Thank you for listening in the show notes. Thank you so much.