117. Marriage Q+A with our Wives

Summary

The Working Genius Podcast with Patrick Lencioni
Episode 117: Marriage Q+A with Our Wives (July 14, 2026)

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Patrick Lencioni is joined by co-host Cody Thompson and their wives, Laura and Lindsay, for a candid Q+A focused on applying the Working Genius framework to marriage and family life. The episode explores how understanding each partner's innate gifts can transform communication, minimize unnecessary conflict, relieve guilt and judgment, and help couples thrive as complementary teams. The group answers listener questions from a recent popular marriage webinar, offering practical stories, strategies, and encouragement for integrating the Working Genius model at home.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Fundamental Attribution Error in Marriage

• Pat (00:00, 04:42): Explains the "fundamental attribution error"—attributing others’ annoying behaviors to their character, but excusing our own with context. This dynamic wreaks havoc in marriages unless couples learn to see each other’s actions through the lens of their natural wiring.
  • "In marriage, people can go for years and attribute something their spouse does to something that's disrespectful or annoying, when in fact, they're just acting the way God wired them." (00:18)
• Raising awareness of this bias can uncover opportunities to complement each other rather than clash.

2. Why Working Genius and Marriage?

• Cody (03:01): On integrating business tools in marriage:
  • "The family is the most important organization in the world. So why wouldn't we bring tools and resources like this into the most important part of our family, which is the marriage?"
• Pat notes they’ve been surprised and humbled by feedback about how the Working Genius model has "changed my marriage," inspiring this expanded conversation.

3. Guilt and Judgment: Living with (and without) Certain Geniuses

• Laura & Lindsay (06:36–08:50): Share personal stories about the pressures and guilt they felt for not possessing the "tenacity" (T) genius, and how understanding each other's natural strengths helped release judgment and expectations.
  • Laura: "There was this expectation when we got married that I thought you would be tenacity, like my dad was. And when I finally realized that he didn't have tenacity, it…helped see him as…a complement to our marriage, rather than…a conflict." (07:41)
  • Lindsay: "Like, because I grew up thinking that you had to be productive...when you don't have [T], it's very frustrating. And it can feel...You can get a lot of shame and guilt from that because everybody else can do it. Why can't I?" (08:32)
• The relief of mutual understanding and acceptance is a recurring theme.

4. Practical Examples: Working Genius Dynamics in the Home

• The Tenacity & Galvanizing Story (13:13–16:23):
  • Both couples describe how attempting to operate outside their respective geniuses (e.g., taking on too much galvanizing or tenacity) led to exhaustion and frustration.
  • Lindsay: "I was being the galvanizer around these certain topics for so long that I was starting to become resentful and tired. And when I was able to say that to Cody, he went, oh, right, we’ve mixed up our roles a little bit." (13:42)
  • Pat: "Roles and responsibilities at work and at home need to be clearly understood...look at how God wired you and organize around those things." (17:07)
• The importance of openly discussing job-sharing, role clarifications, and appreciating efforts outside one's comfort zone.

5. Opposites and Complements: Navigating Marital Genius Maps

• Listener Amy’s Question (11:01): On having "exact opposite geniuses and frustrations."
  • Pat: It's not about having the "right mix," but about self-awareness and appreciating the complementarity, whether you overlap or are opposites (11:01–12:48).
  • Laura: "Lean into the other person’s geniuses and utilize those in your marriage." (11:16)
  • Lindsay: Importance of expressing extra appreciation for spouses who work outside their strengths.

6. Double Disruptive Geniuses: Pitfalls and Strategies

• Listener Lori’s Question (18:14): Both partners are "disruptive" geniuses (Invent and Galvanize; Invent and Tenacity).
  • Pat: Warns this can create a dynamic where both are pushing for change without pausing to discern, enable, or wonder. Suggests intentionally bringing in missing geniuses—either by borrowing from friends/family or consciously using one’s competencies (18:31–21:25).
  • Lindsay: "The vocabulary of working genius in marriage...changes my entire posture." (22:29)
  • Approach: Appreciate your shared drive, then find ways to supplement gaps.

7. Outsourcing and Community: No Need to Do It All Alone

• Pat (24:16): Outsourcing missing geniuses can involve hiring help, enlisting friends, or simply reframing “weaknesses” as places where help is both acceptable and welcomed.
  • "We don't have to be good at everything. We don't even have to do everything. We're just responsible for making sure it gets done by someone." (24:16)
  • "When you ask a friend to do something that they like to do, it's actually a joy for them." (24:26)

8. Parenting and Family Applications

• Working Genius concepts can enhance parenting and family decision-making:
  • Pat: "To parent your kids toward how God wired them rather than trying to get them to be well rounded, which is another word for opposing their geniuses, is a huge difference." (29:42)
  • Laura: Sharing the challenges (and humor) of a "house of Wonders" constantly running late (30:01).

9. Encouragement and Final Advice

• Laura’s Advice (31:04): "Really look at what your preconceived notions are about your roles and where your geniuses are...then appreciate the heck out of what you have and what the other person has."
• Lindsay’s Wisdom (32:44): "It is freeing...I don’t need to be all the things. I can just be what I am made to be."
• Pat (32:45): Working Genius isn’t about putting people in boxes, but understanding each other's "boxes" for greater freedom and mutual respect.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Pat (00:18): “In marriage, people can go for years and attribute something their spouse does to something that’s disrespectful or annoying, when in fact, they’re just acting the way God wired them.”
• Laura (07:41): “That was really freeing for us and allowed me to say, hey, we're having a tenacity day. Buckle up, bud. It's gotta get done."
• Lindsay (13:42): “When I was able to say that to Cody...we've mixed up our roles a little bit. And I was able to pass that galvanizing back on to him. And there was so much freedom, and our conflict was so much more productive.”
• Pat (24:16): “We don’t have to be good at everything...We're just responsible for making sure it gets done by someone.”
• Pat (29:42): “To parent your kids toward how God wired them rather than trying to get them to be well rounded…is a huge difference.”
• Lindsay (32:44): "There has just been so much freedom in going, I don’t need to be all the things, I can just be what I am made to be.”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–03:50 Introductions, attribution error, and the case for bringing Working Genius into marriages
• 06:34–09:50 Releasing judgment and guilt in light of genius gaps (Tenacity example)
• 11:01–12:48 Navigating marriages with opposite geniuses; appreciating complementarity
• 13:13–16:23 Tenacity & Galvanizing at home: role-sharing, getting stuck, and breakthroughs
• 17:19–18:14 The parallels between work and family regarding genius roles
• 18:14–22:51 Double disruptive genius couples: strengths, blind spots, and strategies
• 23:55–25:53 FAQs: Do geniuses change? When to outsource and how
• 29:22–30:38 Parenting with Working Genius; not forcing “well-roundedness”
• 31:04–32:45 Final advice from the wives: freedom, appreciation, self-awareness

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Summary Takeaways

• Working Genius isn’t just for work; it transforms marriages and families. Understanding your partner's—and your own—innate gifts relieves judgment, guilt, conflict, and supports teamwork.
• Awareness and appreciation are key, whether your geniuses are the same or wildly different. Validate effort spent outside natural strengths.
• It’s liberating to know, communicate, and honor each other’s “boxes” rather than striving for “well-roundedness” or conforming to inherited role expectations.
• Don’t be afraid to outsource, enlist help, or borrow strengths from others—that’s wisdom, not weakness.
• “We don’t have to be all the things.” The greatest joy comes from permission to be as we’re uniquely made—and the grace we extend to our spouses and families in kind.

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Want more?
Watch the full Marriage Webinar on YouTube (link in show notes) and consider taking the Working Genius assessment (10 minutes). As Pat says: “No one has ever filled out that assessment… and not gone, ‘Holy crap. No wonder.’”

Blessings on your marriages, families, and all your geniuses!

Transcript

[A]

When other people do things that annoy us, we attribute it to their character. When we do things that annoy others, we attribute it to our environment because we know what's going on. A guy cuts me off in traffic. What a jerk. And then I cut somebody off in traffic the next day, and I'm like, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was lost. And when we do this in life, we have unnecessary conflict. And in marriage, people can go for years and attribute something their spouse does to something that's disrespectful or annoying, when in fact, they're just acting the way God wired them. And so we just want to any married couples out there to take advantage of this so they can avoid the fundamental attribution error and really understand who their spouse is in a new way. Welcome to the Working Genius podcast, where we discuss anything and everything having to do with the six types of working genius and how it impacts your work and your life, including your marriage. Cody, what are we talking about today?

[B]

Well, we're doing a marriage Q and A with our spouses patients. We dragged them into a marriage webinar a week ago, and we're back. They're here against their will.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

And we're going to keep answering questions from the marriage webinar.

[A]

That's right. So this is Laura. That's Lindsay. Yeah. On June 18th, we did our big webinar, and it was amazing. Thousands of people turned out from all over the world, four or five continents, and the questions were great. It was just so interesting to hear. And since then, Cody, we have heard from so many people. We were at a lake this weekend and somebody yelled over from a dock. We watched you on the webinar this weekend. I can't believe you're still married. Because we admitted that I. We.

[D]

That we were forced.

[A]

Yeah. Now, we did coerce you into coming on, but we had fun. Yeah.

[D]

I mean, it was great to talk to Lindsay, and I learned so much, and it was so helpful to be talking to you about this stuff.

[C]

Yeah. Laura, I. As you and I were both sharing, I realized even though we are completely different geniuses and our husbands are different geniuses, the benefit of having working genius as a part of our marriage's daily planning and processes and conflict has just been incredibly valuable. And I know that, but not until we really sat down and got to share did I realize just how impactful it's been.

[D]

And I felt like it was so great to talk to you because I think. And just to remember that everybody feels Deficient in something because I think because my geniuses are at the top, I just feel like I always feel deficient, but everybody feels like that in some way.

[C]

Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

And, you know, if you didn't get to watch the webinar, it's available on YouTube right now, and you can go to the Show Notes and click on that link or just go onto YouTube and search for. You could search Working Genius Marriage webinar. Put Lynchoni or Thompson in there and you'll probably get it up. But we really think you'll like it. It's one hour and there's so many things that happen in that webinar. I think it'll be really fun to watch that. And this is a chance to sit down at home with your spouse and say, hey, let's go through this together. I think it'd be really helpful.

[B]

Most of the comments said that the highlight was your section. So that's at the end. Just make sure you watch it all the way towards the end. Let's tee up a couple of the concepts we touched on in the webinar. And then we still have like dozens of questions that people emailed in. And that's sort of the point of this, is give us a chance to answer some of those and keep going a little deeper on how you apply working genius to marriage. So the first thing I'll say, Pat, is, hey, you know, Pat, you're considered a business leader, author, you know, like, you play in the space of the world of work. And our whole podcast is dedicated to work. Why would we even do a marriage webinar in the first place? And so much of it was just because we experienced the benefit of working genius in the context of our homes and especially in the context of our marriage. And so I've heard you say many times, Pat, that the family is the most important organization in the world. So why wouldn't we bring tools and resources like this into the most important part of our family, which is the marriage?

[A]

And when Working Genius came out, Cody, six years ago last month, we did not realize how many messages, how many notes we would get, how many phone calls and emails from people saying, this has changed my marriage. I thought my wife or my husband was doing something to annoy me. And in fact, it's just how God wired them. And what used to be a conflict is now really how we complement one another. And we thought that is just too powerful not to actually lean into.

[B]

And so much of it is about self awareness and communication. And so that's what a Lot of these questions are around, Pat. So should we dive into the questions, or do you want to cover the main. Like the fundamental attribution error, the main reason that some of these marriages that don't have this sort of context can make some assumptions that are actually unhealthy for us?

[A]

Yeah, let's take 60 seconds to do this. The fundamental attribution error is something I learned in college, one of the few things I remember and apply every day. And it goes like this. When other people do things that annoy us, we attribute it to their character. When we do things that annoy others, we attribute it to our environment because we know what's going on. A guy cuts me off in traffic on the road, and I think, what a jerk. Probably a horrible guy to live with. That guy is really rude. And then I cut somebody off in traffic the next day, and I'm like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I was lost or I didn't know where I was going. And I'm a nice person. And when we do this in life, when we fail to give people grace and understand where they're coming from, St. Francis said, seek to understand. We have unnecessary conflict. And in marriage, people can go for years and attribute something their spouse does to something that's disrespectful or annoying, when in fact they're just acting the way God wired them. And I will say this, we received a number of comments from people that said their marriages actually fell apart. And they look back now and they realize if they had understood their geniuses, they probably would have been able to make it work. And so we just want any married couples out there to take advantage of this so they can avoid the fundamental attribution error and really understand who their spouse is in a new way.

[B]

So I'd love to dive into questions. I don't want to repeat some of the stuff we covered on the webinar because I want people to go there and watch that. But I will say this. I would love to ask both of you. We talked about guilt and judgment and, like, how this helps us avoid some unnecessary guilt that we have some judgment maybe of others or even of ourselves sometimes we. What was one of the things that you guys, in the context of our marriages or our families, like, play on one of those concepts. Was there something that helped alleviate some unnecessary guilt? Guilt that you felt or unnecessary judgment?

[C]

Laura, do you want to take a stab at it first?

[D]

Oh, I was going to let you.

[C]

You know, we talked a little bit about this on the webinar. And so I don't want to be too repetitive, but I do think that one of the biggest aha moments for us when we had working genius and language around the way you and I operate, because we're different. Cody is a DG discernment galvanizer. I am a discerner tenacity. So luckily, we do. You know, it is beneficial, I think, that we overlap because we can work through some things together with our discernment. But my tenacity can really steer the ship. And I've realized what a strong genius it is that those little shots of dopamine. Right. As I. As I tick off my list. And having a husband that doesn't have tenacity, it's in your frustration, was frustrating for me. For a while. I didn't realize that I had some expectations about you as a husband to be out doing some of that tenacity.

[B]

Getting anything done.

[D]

Not getting anything done.

[C]

And I want to be clear that I'm so grateful for all that you do bring to the table and now that I know that you're a galvanizer and how much I need that. But there was this expectation when we got married that I thought you would be tenacity, like my dad was. And when I finally realized that he didn't have tenacity, it. It definitely helped see him as pat, like you said, as a complement to our marriage, rather than it being a conflict that I was frustrated by. And I think that was really freeing for us and allowed me to say, hey, we're having a tenacity day. Buckle up, bud. It's got to get done.

[A]

So that's the judgment part. What about the guilt?

[D]

Guilt? Well, having no tenacity, I can say that there was a lot of guilt around that. Like, because I grew up thinking that you had to be productive. And we talked about that on the webinar. We have no T in our family.

[A]

Not. Not testosterone. Tenacity.

[D]

Tenacity. No tenacity. So it was hard because, you know, you have to get things done, but when you. When you don't have it, it's very frustrating. And it can be. It can feel. You can get a lot of shame and guilt from that because everybody else can do it. Why can't I?

[A]

Yeah. The comparison.

[D]

Yeah. Of joy. Yeah. The teas on the table during the webinar. So.

[A]

Yeah. Let me explain what that is. So we have these little desk items that have all of your letters, and if you want to buy one, you can on our [e-mail], we're the worst marketers ever. But a lot of people, after the webinar, they saw those on the table. So you can actually get green, yellow, and red in this little display. Well, Laura and I, you can say we were playing with those during the.

[D]

During the webinar was showing people that we. Neither of us had teeth. So we took both of our tees off and then couldn't get them back in. So he just left them on the table. It didn't bother me. It didn't bother him. But Lindsay was feeling.

[C]

It's all I could see. I so badly wanted to tenaciously to pick those up and put them back.

[A]

Well, and people were writing in the chat. How ironic that they didn't even put the teas back because they have no tenacity. We just left them on the ground.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And what a great picture of your marriage. You know, we'll just throw the tea out. We don't even have to.

[D]

Right, right.

[B]

That's great. Well, there's a question, and this comes up. There's like sort of buckets of questions that people were asking. So we'll take a couple that are sort of kind of similar and then add them into and answer them from different angles. But Amy asked this question, and I kind of love this. The way she even phrased it is interesting. She said, in our marriage, we have the same competence, competencies, and exact opposite geniuses and frustrations. We still don't have it figured out. Can you speak to this? And what I find interesting, Pat, is like, we talk about this is on a team. We look at a team map and we say, where are your gaps and where are your areas of strength? In a marriage, you only have the maximum of four geniuses. So the way Amy even poses this question is like, boy, we feel so opposite. The way I interpret the question is, boy, with just two of you, to have four geniuses represented is going to be really complimentary. I mean, there's other questions. We'll get there where people are the same genius. But what would you say to people, Pat or Laura and Lindsay, that have opposite geniuses?

[A]

I would say what matters is not whether you have the same ones or opposite ones. Are you aware of it? Do you realize that's how they're wired? And do you take advantage of that and accept the fact that there's not a lot of overlap?

[D]

Like, lean into the other person's geniuses and utilize those in your marriage? Like, especially that they have the competencies the same. That's awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I look at this as. I'm envious. Right. I'm envious that you guys sort of COVID all six categories in a way that could actually be very high functioning. If you guys sit down and work together and say, okay, let's. If we're. There's a big life decision that's come up. Where do each of our geniuses lend to sort of the production of that decision? And what parts can you do? What parts can I do? And then, you know, where can we kind of enjoy it and support each other through it, which would be the competencies?

[A]

You know, Cody and I did a webinar, our last working genius webinar, where we talked about. And then there is something beneficial about being with people that share your geniuses, because everything is very smooth when you're having great conversations. You know, we overlap on invention.

[D]

We.

[A]

We love to invent things. So it's like, there's benefits to having the same ones. There's benefits to having different ones. Are you aware of it? Do you appreciate that? And do you get the most out of that? So. Because sometimes people say, what's the best two types to be together? And it's like just self aware and

[D]

to appreciate each other. Like, to appreciate the. What isn't there to appreciate when people are working outside of their geniuses? Whenever they're doing it, they. I think they need to be extra appreciated if they're doing it a lot so they don't burn out.

[A]

Yeah. I. For years, Laura and I don't have tenacity. For years, things wouldn't be getting done and we'd be like, why don't you do that? Why don't you do that? And now I realize when she's doing something in t with Laura is I'm like, hey, thank you for doing that. For some people, I'd be like, well, this is like breathing. For Laura, it's not. And so it's like, I want to say, wow, I know you really stepped out of your comfort zone to do that, and I appreciate it.

[C]

If I can jump in here with an example. Cody and I, we've got three little kids at home, right. Like, our life is just busy and messy, no matter how much tenacity I have. And, you know, Cody does a lot of galvanizing outside of the home as well, in his job, with friendships, his family. And we were having some conflict just sort of about the way we were operating for a little while. And probably your fault. Yeah, probably my fault. We can talk about humble, hungry, Smart. On another podcast, I was trying to figure out why I was. I was getting pretty frustrated. And you were feeling kind of burnt out, too. And we struggled around the dial, you know, the specific specifications of that. And it hit me. I had this aha Moment, and I thought, oh, I've. I've been galvanizing for too long around these things we were trying to get done in our family. And I can galvanize. It's in my competency. But I was being the galvanizer around these certain topics for so long that I was starting to become resentful and tired. And when I was able to say that to Cody, he went, oh, right, we've sort of mixed up our roles a little bit. And I was able to pass that galvanizing back on to him. And there was so much freedom, and our conflict was so much more productive.

[B]

Well, it's actually. I think it's really interesting to get into the specifics of this, because we talk about this every day, Pat. And it didn't occur to me that what was happening was like this. So to put a few more leaves on the tree, we had decided we wanted to do Sunday evening family meetings to, like, set us up for the week and talk about what our most important things is the family. And I interpreted that as a scheduling thing. Oh, you have tenacity. You should schedule the Sunday meetings, and they wouldn't happen. And so I was like, well, they

[C]

were on your calendar. We actually had them on. I did my. Y'. All. I did my part.

[B]

And so when she said to me, like, hey, they can be on the calendar all. All we want, but if you don't galvanize the family to come into the living room and sit down and start the meeting, that's what will make me feel like you're not doing your part, which is amazing. Like, it was such clarity for us. This little thing that we didn't realize, is that a galvanizing activity or is that a tenacity thing? And that language gave us, like, all this permission to explore it. And then, like you said, it didn't ferment into some, like, real serious resentment.

[D]

So we had the galvanizing tenacity issue. That's my. Those are my frustrations. And his frustration is tenacity. But he has galvanizing in my competencies. But he does that a lot at work, and so he gets frustrated by having to do it at home. But we didn't realize, so he was expecting me to galvanize. It is literally the last thing.

[A]

This is before we. We understood working genius.

[D]

Working genius. And so, first of all, it wasn't on our calendar. And second of all, he wanted me to galvanize everybody. He wanted me to get it on the calendar and galvanize everybody. And I'm like, okay. But now we understand that that's why it never happened, because we. I don't got it.

[A]

You know what's amazing? To bring this full circle at work, this whole model of working genius came about because for 20 something years, I was galvanizing every day at work, and it was burning me out. Even though it was a competency. If, like you said, Lindsay, if you're doing it all the time, it will burn you out. And Cody, we realized you like doing this. And so Cody became my chief galvanizing officer. Which doesn't mean, you know, I don't have to do it sometimes as the leader, just like you all have to do it. But he loves it. It feeds him. It gives him joy and energy. So it's funny that we figured that out a while ago, and then the same thing happened in your house. It's like, you're the chief galvanizing officer. It's so amazing how roles and responsibilities at work and at home need to be clearly understood, because we take things for. We'll say, well, I thought women did that or men did that, or my mom did that or my dad did that. It's like, no, actually, look at how God wired you and organize around those things.

[B]

And on top of that, it takes a village, you know, like that. That whole thing is like, it's a team sport to raise a family. And even with working genius, you need a community and people to. To outsource things to. So I think that was a major takeaway for us, too.

[A]

Let me say something right now, which is not related necessarily working genius. All it's part of it is that just hearing people say things like, oh, yeah, we struggled with that, or we would get frustrated with one another. I don't think there's a couple out there that doesn't go, oh, thank God they said that, because we're not the only one. When you think that you have problems and the rest of the world is sending Christmas cards that say their life is perfect or they're only putting things on social media and everything is easy, and it makes you feel alone and guilty, it's such a gift to people go to say, yeah, we struggle with stuff too, and here's what we did. That alone is a gift. So I just. I love having these conversations because there's thousands of people listening to this going, oh, I'm not the only one.

[B]

Yeah, no, it's beautiful. There's a question here that I think is interesting. So Lori writes in and says, I'm an inventor. Galvanizer married to an inventor. Tenacity person married. We both have double disruptive geniuses. What do we need to watch for in this dynamic?

[A]

Wow. Okay, I'll go. I'll just throw something out there first. So they have four for four in their geniuses are disruptive. Disruptive, yep. The beauty of the complement. Complementarity, either in a within a person or within a couple to have some that are responsive and some that are disruptive is that there's a certain balance there. Because when one person is disruptive, another person responds, you know, an inventor has somebody to discern. A Galvanizer has somebody to enable. You know, and so what you have to be aware of in that kind of situation is that there might be a little less listening and taking things in because everybody wants to, like, drive the boat. It would be like people on a boat. Everybody wants to drive.

[D]

To me, it seems like they're just going to be driving forward. Like, there's not going to be any stopping and pondering or stopping and going, is this the right place to go? Is this even the right way?

[A]

Right. And to be very practical about it, now that you say that it's. You want to really find a way to build in some discernment and some enablement. Hopefully your kids have it. And just to be aware of that, say, hey, honey, we are both really driven to do things. Let's figure out how to get some discernment and enablement into our process.

[D]

And some wonder.

[A]

And some wonder, too. And some wonder.

[B]

Yeah. Well, imagine, like, imagine how that plays out in a marriage is somebody says the ig. The inventor, Galvanizer says, I think we should move to Texas. And the person that has invention and tenacity goes immediately to, well, we already packed our boxes, we bought a house. They arrive in Texas and are like, was this the right thing for us? I mean, those geniuses as a combination, if you don't have built in ways to take a deep breath, like you said, pondering, like, stop, stop at a stop sign every once in a while and say, is this the right thing? You could wind up making a looking backwards and be like, how do we get where we're where we're at right now? And it's just a matter of how you're wired.

[C]

Well, and I think you can do that in a couple of ways. I think the way that you, as we talked about on the webinar outsource, would be find a close, trusted person who has discernment to weigh in. Hey, we're having a hard time making a decision. We, we have all these ideas, right? What can you shed some light for us? Can you help walk us through that? I think the other way to outsource would be find ways to lean on your competencies in a way that is not exhaustive. So for you. So just tap into that, say, okay, here we are again, pat to your point, self awareness. We are all I right now. We have this list of ideas. Now whoever, if someone has discernment or if someone has enablement, you guys can sit down and lean into that as a competency and involve that in your process, at least to a degree, to help you have more of that responsive nature as well.

[A]

It's almost like you've been married to one of the people associated with working genius for six years. You know something? And this gets back to the guilt. So speaking to this particular question, don't start with the guilt. Start with the appreciation and say, hey, we are pro. Because if you have all those disruptive geniuses, we are proactive, we take initiative, we are driven. Let's be grateful for that. Now, we can admit that we are most likely pretty impatient, but if you start with the gosh, we have to learn to be more patient. Like, no, no, no, appreciate the heck out of the strengths you have. Then it becomes so much easier to incorporate the things you need to work on.

[C]

Allow it to free you. Just. I keep coming back to my biggest takeaway is the freedom that working genius gives you in the way that you carry out processes in your marriage. So allow that to free you from that fully and then find ways to supplement.

[A]

And when you do drive a car off a cliff because you're igts just as you're going down, go, hey, this, this is us, huh? You're gonna be fine. You're gonna survive.

[D]

Yeah, Well, I think too something that you do a lot, which I love, is because they're both ideators, they might be ideating. And because they have the galvanizer, galvanizing and tenacity, they're just going to run with it. And you like to say, I'm just ideating. I'm not galvanizing right here. And that might be a huge thing for them to be able to identify also.

[A]

Yeah, that thing that we like to say is, I'm eyeing right Now I'm inventing. I'm not galvanizing because the tea is going to go out and act on. So that's a really good that the vocabulary of working genius in marriage. Laura will say to me sometimes, hey, what about this? And then she'll go, I'm just wondering. And I'm like, oh, you don't need my discernment. You don't expect me to go do something. You just want me to take this in. Oh, it changes my entire posture, Pat.

[B]

So there were a number of questions we answered on the webinar. I'm not going to re ask them here, but just to give people a sense for what we did answer there. People ask questions like, what does it look like to outsource a missing genius in your marriage? There's three or four great stories in the webinar about how we did. We've done that in our own marriages or people that wrote in had done it. There's a great interview we did with with a couple that talks about how they incorporated a working genius. They were business partners and married. So. Which was super fascinating. People ask the question, can your geniuses change over time? We covered that on the webinar. We've talked a little bit about that on the podcast before.

[A]

Let me take these really quick, though.

[B]

Oh, you want to do them? Okay, great.

[A]

Well, just because there's people listening goes, will you please answer that? Yeah, your geniuses don't change over time. We think that they're God given. But a lot of people never were allowed to exercise their geniuses earlier in life. So when they finally get in a place like, oh, I can finally do this, it's not that you've changed, it's

[D]

that you've appreciated who you actually are.

[A]

Right. And as far as outsourcing goes, it's not always hiring somebody. Sometimes it is. It's not always. It's sometimes just borrowing a friend that you have that's good at something. Say, can you join us once a quarter when we do our planning? Because you're really good at this. And the thing is, you're not burdening them because they like to do that. We like to say, one man's trash or a woman's trash is another woman's treasure. Well, when you ask a friend to do something that they like to do, it's actually a joy for them. And so you're not burdening them so you can do that. But the main thing is just tell yourself this. We don't have to be good at everything. We don't even have to do do everything. We're just responsible for making sure it gets done by someone. And I'm going to tell a story that I didn't tell in our podcast the other day in our webinar. Laura did the most of the work. I had a small part. She gave birth to twins 28 years ago. We don't have any T and very little G and E. Had we known what working genius was, then we would have hired a person to run our house.

[D]

Absolutely.

[A]

We felt guilty. Our parents were E's and T's and they could do all these things. How come we can't? And we forced ourselves to try to do things that burnt us out for years. And by the grace of God, we got through it. Thank you, God. Had we known then what we know now, we probably would have saved ourselves some stress by allowing ourselves not to feel bad about paying someone to do stuff that we are just not good at.

[D]

Yeah, I love when people call me to ask for wi. Oh, yeah. Like, they'll just say, can you? Can. Can I take. Can. Can you spend some time WI ing on this? And I love that my dad even

[C]

does it with us. He'll call and say, hey. And he. We're still teaching him about the language around working genius, but he'll call and say, hey, I need some advice about something. And you guys tend to make pretty good decisions when. Which is not always true. But what he's saying is, hey, I need your discernment.

[A]

It's great to be at to know that you have that gift to give others. Give us another question, Cody.

[B]

I have a couple more. There's a few things that weren't questions that I thought were just really helpful ways that people expressed how helpful this was in their marriage or in their families. So Darcy wrote in our family of six took the assessment several years ago, we found new compassion. I love this idea. Like, we found new compassion for our wonder inventor that has been living in a household of ETS her entire life. So galvanizing is a frustration for us. We laugh at what we laugh as a family. We can never decide what movie to watch as a family because none of us can convince each other of anything. So working genius has been so helpful for us. Can you imagine like a family of non galvanizers? You know, there's one WI and a bunch of species. Yes. Yeah, you guys can imagine. And then David wrote in I love this one too. It says, this is so valuable. I'm a business consultant coach and I've been using Working genius since it launched and has made such a difference for hundreds of executives. I never thought to apply this to marriage. I'm now listening to this with my fiance. She's loving this as well, and it's bringing me so much hope and joy. So I love the words compassion, hope, and joy. Like, we didn't. We didn't just do a marriage webinar because we thought it sounded fun to coerce you guys into getting on screen.

[A]

That was fun, though.

[B]

It's, like, very practical and. And genuinely helps in the context of your household and your marriage.

[A]

Yeah. In fact, a lot of people ask the question, how do we get. How do I get my spouse to listen to this if I've listened to this? And I think, first of all, tell them that there's nothing touchy feely about this. It's always helpful because if. If you're trying to get your husband to look at them, they're like, oh, is this like Oprah? And, you know, whatever. It's not. Cody and I have never been accused of Oprah of being Oprah. And just let them know, like, it's an hour. It's on YouTube. Just turn it on. And then the assessment. It takes 10 minutes to fill it out. And let me tell you, no one has ever filled out that assessment, looked at the results, which comes back immediately, and not gone. Holy crap. No wonder. Something, you know, so, you know, you can probably ask for the favor. Would you watch this with me for an hour, or would you take 10 minutes and fill this out just a little bit? People usually get hooked right away and go further.

[C]

It's so interesting to me that he says that he's done this and it's been so successful in the business world, but that he's never applied it relationally because we didn't set out to make this a key component of our marriage. You know, it just was natural for us. And so I think what's so cool about this is that it never dawned on me that people wouldn't be using this in their everyday life, in their everyday processes, in their. In their marriage, in their relationships. I mean, it helps the way I engage with my parents. He has a twin brother. It is very vital in the way that he and I get along. So it's just. It's fascinating to me that it wouldn't dawn on some people. And I'm excited and hopeful that this. This really helps a lot of people out there who haven't applied it yet.

[A]

And even in parenting, you know, we find that we have a Student assessment for teenagers and kids going into college and in high school and stuff like that. But even if you haven't done the assessment, you look at your kids and you go, I think they're a wanderer. Oh, my gosh. I keep telling them, focus more and stop daydreaming. But that might very well be their gift.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or you please everybody all the time. You need to have a strong. It's like, no, they're in. They have enablement. It's a gift, and it's going to serve them in their life. And to parent your kids toward how God wired them rather than trying to get them to be well rounded, which is another word for opposing their geniuses, is a huge difference.

[D]

Yeah, I think it's helped a ton just in knowing our kids and knowing we have three W's out of four and I'm a W. So we have a lot of wonder in our house, which also means we're late a lot.

[A]

But we know that now. There's a reason. It's not an excuse. But I now leave for church on my own and let them come. And I say, I'll get you at school. Seat at church. I'd like to get there on time. I know you're probably going to be late. That's okay. I'll just save you a seat. Rather than having to try to over galvanize a bunch of W's who are going to be like, hey, dude, time is just not in our realm right now.

[B]

That's awesome. We have some stories we shared on the podcast about our son being a wonder. So if you watch, if you watch that, you'll figure that out and hear those stories. So let's do this. I would love to just pose this last question to the two of you since these listeners always hear us talk. What would be your final sort of piece of advice or final piece of encouragement around working genius and people who are thinking about bringing it into the context of their household or their marriage?

[D]

So I think I would say, like, really look at what your. Your preconceived notions are. I know. You know, Holly, you talked about your. Your dad, Lindsay and I talked about my mom. Like what your preconceived notions are about your roles and where your geniuses are and how it doesn't fit or fits, and then appreciate the heck out of what you have and what the other person has of their geniuses.

[C]

This is going to be a bit redundant from the webinar, but it really is my biggest advice for people who are on the Fence with whether or not to involve this in their relationships. But it is freeing. It truly is really freeing. I struggle on a regular basis with feeling like I need to be good at everything and do everything. And I probably put you in that bucket sometimes, too, and think, oh, I. I wish you were doing more of this or less of that or whatever that is. And when I come back to working genius and I realize that it's how God made me, it's how God made him. It's how we are wired. It gives us the freedom and the ability to open up our hands and go, okay, that's. I don't have to be good at that. And leaning into what you are good at, being willing to lean into your partner's geniuses, even if it's your frustration in short stints. Right. I can't make him tenacity all weekend long, but I just think there's a lot of freedom in involving this every day. And as a marriage, as an individual, as a woman, there has just been so much freedom in going, I don't need to be all the things I can just be what I am made to be.

[D]

That's great.

[A]

That's great. Yeah. I'll close by saying this. So many of these personality assessments, people go, I don't want to be put inside a box. You know what we found with this? People are like, will you please understand my box? Because it's so freeing and liberating to go, I have boxes and I don't want to have to live in other ones. I'd like people to understand this one. Then when I have to jump into the others, I can. But it's actually liberating for people to know. I know what your two favorite boxes are, and I want to honor that. So, hey, Lindsay, Laura, thank you for doing this. We'll unlock the doors now and let you out. But we really appreciate it. Thank you, everybody, for watching. Remember, go watch the webinar if you get a chance on YouTube. It'll be in the show notes. Purchase one of those little widget desktop things. It's really helpful to have them at home and to remind yourself. And if you knock the tea out, try to put it back in. And thank you for listening to us. God bless you, your marriages and your children. We'll talk to you next time on the Working Genius podcast. Bye. Bye.