Donny Do Science Episode 2: Dreams and Nightmares | The Yak 1-29-26

Summary

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The Yak – Donny Do Science Episode 2: Dreams and Nightmares | January 29, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode of The Yak, the Barstool crew—Big Cat, Kyle, Donnie, Brandon, Kate, Mark Titus, Johnny (Chef Donnie), and more—explore the nebulous world of dreams and nightmares, focusing on Johnny's (Chef Donnie's) unique approach to “science” and his latest presentation. Amidst the usual chaotic humor and tangential storytelling, the group tackles wacky outfits, guinea pig crises, LeBron’s tributes, hypnotism, and a meandering but entertaining deep dive into the science (and personal experience) of dreaming.

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1. Yak Chaos and “Whack Fits” (01:32–11:00)

Main Points:

• The show opens with members discussing their “whack fits” (intentionally goofy or mismatched outfits).
• Lively banter about fashion fails, why certain outfits are considered "whack," and Brandon's lobster shirt.
• Kate talks about "the agony of buying trendy boots you hate."
• Memorable moment: "I guess this jersey's awesome." – Donnie, about Kyle's attempt at whack fashion (02:36)
• Light roasting and complaints about changing, with tangents about Slim Jims and studio mishaps.

Notable Quote

“You can wear it to normal.” – Big Cat on Nick’s surprisingly cool ‘whack’ attire (11:40)

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2. Mississippi Ice Storm & The Brandon Saga (03:17–11:40)

Main Points:

• Brandon is distracted by real-life problems: a family member’s house crushed by a tree in Mississippi due to a major ice storm.
• The cast jokes about Brandon's unique approach to dealing with crises, talking to a senator, and making “calls.”
• Commentary on Southern states dealing with infrastructure issues—told with empathy but in typical Yak style.

Memorable Segment:

• “He was in our meeting today. He stood up and said, ‘That’s a senator,’ and left.” – Big Cat (10:51)

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3. Guinea Pig Invasion: Kyle’s Basement Woes (18:44–23:15)

Main Points:

• Kyle reveals his family has gone from two to fourteen guinea pigs, resulting in chaos.
• Absurd attempts to visualize the guinea pig enclosure using cast members as spatial references.
• Discussion about how to get rid of unwanted rodents, with suggestions ranging from “give them to a pet store” to “release them in the wild” (which wouldn’t end well).
• Tommy (Kyle’s son) is allegedly holding a “guinea pig summit” at school to offload animals.

Notable Quote:

“Your mom’s basement is a fuck fest.” – Kate (19:42)

• Thread runs through the show as updates come in from Tommy and Kyle’s mom, both asserting conflicting plans for the guinea pigs.

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4. Life Overhauls, Clothes, and Fashion Anxiety (11:41–16:21)

Main Points:

• Donnie expresses a desire to "get rid of all my clothes," exploring the idea of a total style reset—reinforced by existential wardrobe angst from others.
• Arguments for and against stylists, with lots of self-deprecation.
• Brief consensus: the Yak crew cannot pull off a cool look, even accidentally.

Quote:

“I care about how I feel, not how I look. Sweatshirts are all I care about.” – Donnie (13:13)

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5. LeBron James Tribute Videos & NBA Chatter (25:29–29:14)

Main Points:

• Short debate about LeBron’s 8th tribute video in Cleveland and how throwback Cavs uniforms he once debuted are now retro.
• Is LeBron overpaid? Is it cool/annoying to have multiple superstars on the same team?
• Hypotheticals: Giannis and LeBron teaming up with Steph Curry on the Warriors.

Notable Quote:

“He could probably play for, like, 10 more years, right?” – Mark (26:50)

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6. Tommy Walker Grows Up (29:19–31:31)

Main Points:

• The Yak crew collectively realizes Tommy, long a fixture on the show as a child, is now almost 16 and will be driving soon.
• Reflections on time passing quickly—COVID’s first mention, staff turnover at Barstool.

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7. West Coast Antics: San Fran, NorCal vs. SoCal, Stephen Cheh’s Vacation (43:07–55:57)

Main Points:

• The team debates—and mocks—the “correct” way to refer to San Francisco, NorCal vs. SoCal, and local terminology.
• Stephen Cheh reports in remote from his extended pre-birthday Bay Area vacation, sparking teasing about his “chick energy” and questions about his biking competence.
• The Yak demands proof via live video: after skepticism, he finally rides a bike (“I think he knows how to bike”—Big Cat, 57:30).

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8. Waiting for Donnie’s Dreams Presentation (46:28–70:11)

Main Points:

• Building comedic tension as Donnie (Chef Donnie/Johnny) prepares his “Dreams and Nightmares” science presentation, while the crew jokes about how long it’s taking.
• Banter about dreams, the agony of running (or faking) charity races, and a viral “guy who runs 10Ks in weird places.”

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9. Donny Do Science: Dreams and Nightmares Presentation (70:11–129:20)

A. Setup and Antics

• Donnie enters, irritated (after being prodded/teased).
• “You know these aren't going to fit...”—Donnie, frustrated at being asked to put on promo Noble shoes over his own (70:50).
• Discussion of bedtime rituals: Donnie regularly “beasts” (binges Mr. Beast videos) before bed, to Johnny’s concern.

B. The Presentation Itself (75:04–129:20)

1. The Chinese Dream Question (75:04–81:15)

• Presentation opens with confusion over whether Chinese people "dream the same" as Americans.
• Deadpan joke: “The Chinese invented dreams. You can do anything.” (77:08)
• Meandering discussion about language in dreams and cultural attitudes.

2. Dream Definitions—Literal vs. Metaphorical (82:17–84:39)

• Centers on MLK Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech—is a vision for civil rights a literal dream?
• Johnny asserts: “Dream by my definition... you gotta be asleep.” (84:39)
• Disqualifies any “dream” unless it happened during sleep.

3. The Three Categories of Dream (87:29–91:05)

• Johnny classifies dreams:
  • Standard "dreamer"
  • Nightmare
  • "Dreamy nightmare"
• Each explained via funny, confusing slides (movie posters, historical figures).
• For dreamy nightmares: “On paper… these are all great things I like to do, but something was wrong every time.” (92:09)

4. Johnny’s Actual Dreams (93:11–98:03)

• Shares a string of personal dreams, from mundane to odd:
  • Dreamt he slept through a ski day
  • Messed up French in a cooking dream
  • Recurring “sleep paralysis” where a roommate is trying to get into his room
  • A “boyish” dream of pool hopping with Stephen Cheh (lying on their stomachs, kicking feet)

5. Reinventing Dreaming: Donnie’s Methods (99:05–104:13)

• Advocates for deliberate dream interruption:
  • Most vivid dreams occur after waking at 4–5 AM, then returning to sleep.
  • “If we could find a device to wake you up at 4AM to make you dream… that’s what I want to invent.” (101:37)
  • Ideas for gentle “haptic feedback” alarms; links to greater dream vividness

6. Johnny’s Hypnotist Era & Mystery Pills (105:32–114:58)

• Shocking revelation: Johnny saw a personal hypnotist in NYC, Jeffrey Rose, twice monthly, paying $250 per session for “hypno-sessions” and unregulated fish oil “brain” pills.
• “He would ask, ‘What do you want me to implant?’ ... then he would say ‘Let’s knock off nicotine.’” – Johnny (110:32)
• “The pills… you were supposed to take them every couple hours…keep one everywhere.” (107:23)
• Admits, “He might have been a charlatan. Nice guy, but...”
• Questions about effectiveness, whether this hypnotist still has “control” over him

7. The “Grand Unifying Theory” Digression (104:45–104:58)

• Johnny attempts to relate dream research to quantum mechanics and Stephen Hawking, muddling physics and sleep science:
  • “I’m basically Stephen Hawking but for sleep.” (104:54)

8. Ethical, Existential Finale (116:14–129:20)

• Ultimately, Johnny decides a dream is “whatever you want it to be”—wishes, sleep visions, personal aspirations.
• Anguished closing: “Looking back, I wish I’d never told anyone about my dreams or my hypnotist.” (116:24)
• Reflections on vulnerability, being open about weird life decisions, and the crew’s love for Donnie’s presentations.
• Johnny’s “dream device” (Kickstarter sleep mask, $700, waiting 5+ years) is questioned for legitimacy but still excites him.

Key Quotes:

“I need more Donnie in my life.” – Donnie (123:41)
“He is a guy who’s at the cutting edge of science. He’ll try anything.” – Donnie (126:03)
“That guy right there has a better life than anyone in this room.” – Kyle (129:18)

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10. Closing Banter & Reflections (129:20–131:30)

• The crew marvels at Donnie’s trust in odd people and products, his openness, and his singular worldview.
• Consensus: Chef Donnie’s brain and tales are essential Yak content; “Donny Do Science” is the most anticipated segment post-Super Bowl.
• Brainstorm: Do a CIA-only slide deck next time.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Kyle on guinea pigs: “Your mom’s basement is a fuck fest.” (19:42)
• Donnie on dreams: “I care about how I feel, not how I look. Sweatshirts are all I care about.” (13:13)
• Donnie on sleep method: “The most vivid dreams always happen when I wake up at 4 a.m. and go back to sleep.” (100:08)
• Johnny on wish fulfillment: “Does cancer affect dreams? Yes, it makes them come true.” (115:41)
• Big Cat after Donnie’s hypnotist reveal: "Is reality that bad for you you want to dream this much?" (122:29)
• Brandon, stunned: “He was a medical captive for five years in New York, red pills, getting hypnotized...” (124:42)

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Episode Flow & Tone

• Loose, rollicking, self-aware. The Yak embraces unexpected tangents and the quirks of its participants.
• Irreverent but vulnerable. Jokes about personal problems, pop psychology, fashion, and mental health create space for candid moments.
• Community. Strong group dynamic, with everyone simultaneously roasting and supporting each other; special affection for Donnie’s idiosyncrasies.

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For First-time Listeners

This episode blends absurd humor, oddly profound observations, and true-life weirdness into a microcosm of The Yak’s appeal. Come for the guinea pig saga, wacky boots, and NBA debate—stay for Donnie’s unfiltered sleep “science,” hypnotists, brain pills, and boyish dream journeys. You'll leave laughing, slightly confused, and wanting Donnie to present on every topic in existence.

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END

Transcript

[Big Cat]

Hey yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple, podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[PFT Commenter]

Out on the course, they're the PGA Tour's best players. But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer drops timeouts, overtime and playoffs.

[Kyle]

It's.

[PFT Commenter]

It's city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi.

[Donnie]

Keep up. It's golf.

[PFT Commenter]

Tune in to every match only on espn. Out on the course, they're the PGA tour's best players. But in the arena, they're prime time. And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back with lights, cameras, action. We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands, all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer drops timeouts, overtime, and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus squad. This sport just hits different under the lights. It's TGL, presented by SoFi.

[Kyle]

Keep up.

[Donnie]

It's golf.

[PFT Commenter]

Tune in to every match only on espn.

[Big Cat]

I'm the coolest one out of all of of us.

[Kyle]

That was incredible.

[Johnny]

Hello.

[Donnie]

It's a yak. Welcome in. Stelblue Coffee.com Stelblue Coffee.com Ready drink cans, cold brew, whole beans, K cups, everything. Save some dogs. Stel coffee.com this beeping is driving me insane.

[Brandon]

What is that?

[Donnie]

It's the. It's the basketball court we got. Some of us forgot to do our wackus fits. I'm going to do mine. I. I had to start the show. Nick and. And Brandon just ran off to do their wack fits. I'm going to have to go get my wackus fit. Hates your dress. Normally.

[Kate]

Yeah, I didn't.

[Brandon]

It's not wack, it's just whack fit.

[Donnie]

Just a whack fit?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Yours isn't that whack.

[Donnie]

I think it's not whack at all.

[Mark]

Exact same thing he had on.

[Kyle]

So your cools are. Your.

[Donnie]

Your clothes are too cool.

[Kyle]

I forgot. I have some whack fits, obviously. But I mean, this is. This jersey is kind of whack.

[Donnie]

What? I guess this jersey's awesome.

[Kyle]

Okay. All right. No, I forgot. Kyle and Kate look amazing.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I'm going to go whackify my fit.

[Kyle]

God damn it.

[Kate]

Oh, Lorena.

[Kyle]

God Damn it.

[Brandon]

I like that. I actually like that top.

[Kate]

Yeah. All right.

[Titus]

Dress too cool for one.

[Kyle]

That's.

[Mark]

You guys all have change of clothes here like that?

[Big Cat]

Oh, no, I brought this.

[Johnny]

I was filming something.

[Kyle]

I have a bunch of change of clothes, but they were all cool as I didn't bring any wax. Shit.

[Big Cat]

I wore these pants once to work, and it was a PMT. Dungeons Dragons day.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And they thought it was part of my costume.

[Kyle]

What? What? What? No, no, no, no, no.

[Kate]

Time it.

[Donnie]

No, I.

[Big Cat]

Don't do it. Don't do it.

[Kate]

Don't.

[Titus]

Wait, I think.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I think there's the ice storms in Mississippi. He's trying to solve some stuff with some damage, and what better place?

[Kyle]

He can't do anything.

[Big Cat]

I think he's on the phone with the Senator. I think it's the Senator.

[Brandon]

Dude, our.

[Kyle]

Our studios aren't here.

[Mark]

Oh, my God. I thought he was gonna go sit down here.

[Big Cat]

I need him to drop that rapper.

[Brandon]

Dude head on the shoulder to open a Slim Jim. He just hasn't been done in 30 years.

[Kyle]

He thinks every room is just his phone. Okay, we.

[Titus]

We have literal phone booths here, but can we.

[Kyle]

Can we get his audio?

[Big Cat]

No, I wouldn't.

[Kyle]

Why not?

[Big Cat]

I mean, he was kind of in tears this morning.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Kate]

He was. Genuinely.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Tree landed on somebody he loves house.

[Mark]

You want me to go in and sit down and see?

[Kyle]

Just see?

[Mark]

Sit at my chair and just.

[Titus]

Everyone is okay if he reacts.

[Mark]

If he even reacts at all. Just stays on the phone.

[Kyle]

No, you're just in there to work.

[Mark]

Yeah. I'm just gonna go in there and just act like I got to do.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Even acknowledges that.

[Kyle]

Well, it's in our space. It is terrible what happened down there in Oxford and Rolling Fork and Nashville and all that. Like, it's terrible down the ice. Yeah.

[Kate]

Bad.

[Big Cat]

Is that where the trees are blowing up?

[Kyle]

Trees are blowing? No, trees are collapsing. I'll go ahead and have a seat.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he's comfy. Yeah, we can't compete with that. No, he's winning. Kyle, you got. We a. I think we flopped.

[Kate]

Yeah, I think so.

[Mark]

You guys look cool.

[Big Cat]

Did he not. Look at Titus.

[Kyle]

Didn't even.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's his own world.

[Brandon]

Kind of annoyed at him. Yeah.

[Kate]

Pissed.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He did not react whatsoever.

[Kyle]

Not gonna move.

[Mark]

Hold the.

[Kyle]

Fuck.

[Titus]

You mind?

[Big Cat]

What? Speaking of hold the phones. What's he holding the phone with?

[Kyle]

It's third neck goiter just sitting there.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Mince is pissed.

[Brandon]

He's so annoying.

[Kyle]

It's just not ridiculous.

[Big Cat]

Look, it's insane.

[Kate]

Sneering.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Titus]

Come on.

[Kyle]

I think I can watch this. I do. You think it's like object permanence. Like if you put something in front of a baby and then it goes out of its view, it doesn't know that it still exists. Like he walked past him. Oh, now he's talking to him.

[Titus]

Mark, do you mind the Slim Jim gip.

[Kyle]

Are you explaining to him what's.

[Big Cat]

Did he get the slim Jim open?

[Kate]

Sort of.

[Brandon]

There's no.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Kyle.

[Mark]

What. When.

[Big Cat]

When you saw the lobster shirt, what went through your mind?

[Brandon]

When I saw it in my closet or like.

[Big Cat]

No. Where did you get it from?

[Brandon]

I got this a while ago from the same place I got the. The roulette table shirt.

[Big Cat]

Oh, okay.

[Brandon]

It's actually a cool street wear website. That's for men.

[Donnie]

Oh.

[Brandon]

For aging men. But what's it called?

[Johnny]

Awake.

[Brandon]

I just thought this was like a standard realistic whack fit that someone would try to pull off. Like they think the sneakers are cool and they do. They would try to match too hard. I think this. Nothing works here.

[Kyle]

But what are the rolled up jeans?

[Brandon]

Just to make it look even Whacker.

[Johnny]

I guess an attempt a shirt was $175.

[Kyle]

Kyle.

[Brandon]

The lobster shirt.

[Big Cat]

Kyle.

[Kyle]

Well, it's on sale for 70 now.

[Brandon]

I did not pay 175.

[Big Cat]

Did you pay the full price?

[Kate]

You. So what's that on your shoulders? Potatoes.

[Brandon]

What are my shoulders?

[Kyle]

Oh, no, that look. Yeah, maybe that is potatoes.

[Kate]

Potatoes. Grapes and potatoes.

[Kyle]

Why is there fruit in everything?

[Brandon]

I paid 70.

[Big Cat]

Oh, was it like a buy one go half?

[Kate]

Maybe it's bread. Oh, no, it's a pear.

[Kyle]

All right. Wow.

[Kate]

Joke's on Titus now. Because he's cornered.

[Big Cat]

Hey, you look cool.

[Kate]

Do I really?

[Kyle]

I think all three of y' all look cool.

[Kate]

What? Can I ramble about my boots for a second?

[Kyle]

Yes, please.

[Kate]

I guess I was told that wide leg jeans are the cool jeans now. And that you can't wear wide shoes with wide leg jeans.

[Kyle]

Who told you that?

[Kate]

And so that you had to buy. All the girls are buying these skinny black boots, so I bought a pair. I hate them.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that'll.

[Mark]

That'll.

[Kyle]

That'll.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Whoa. That is so whack.

[Big Cat]

Nobody's that big of a fan of Orlando.

[Brandon]

Yeah, so that's.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's proper wackiest hat ever.

[Kate]

Are those felt?

[Big Cat]

Wait, can you. Can you put your head down? Orlando across.

[Donnie]

If you didn't know who I'm repping. It's right there.

[Big Cat]

Lando.

[Donnie]

Orlando. Orlando.

[Brandon]

Good, good whack. That's something a dude would try to pull off.

[Donnie]

Yeah. With the sweatpants, too.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I think these are velour, Brandon.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Sleeveless baseball.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Good work, Brandon. Yeah. It happened to be Jersey. I was focused on that today and forgot about the whack outfit. I have so many wax shirts I could have.

[Big Cat]

Wait, you prioritize? Mostly sports over yak.

[Kyle]

Okay. All right. That's not exactly what happened. I just forgot. And even last night when y' all reminded me and I replied, forgot, Forgot.

[Donnie]

Well, no, but last night.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Brandon]

What is that?

[Kyle]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Green laser pointer. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Wait, does that feel like a whack dude?

[Mark]

Part of the film.

[Donnie]

Laser pointer, Green laser point.

[Big Cat]

No good kid ever had a laser.

[Stephen Shea]

Exactly.

[Donnie]

Shoot into the camera.

[Big Cat]

Don't do that.

[Donnie]

Please, just do it for.

[Johnny]

That is like a really strong one.

[Big Cat]

Kyle's gonna.

[Mark]

What happens? We have to. What happens if you shoot into a camera?

[Brandon]

Yeah. What would happen?

[Kyle]

I think if you just a little.

[Johnny]

Up the light sensor, probably.

[Kyle]

Whoa.

[Donnie]

Oh.

[Kyle]

Holy.

[Brandon]

What else does it do?

[Mark]

Shine it.

[Big Cat]

Danny's eye.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Open your eye, Danny.

[Titus]

Go ahead. Yeah.

[Donnie]

It hurts.

[Kyle]

Hurry.

[Donnie]

How's everyone doing?

[Big Cat]

I'm glad we did. The wack fits.

[Kyle]

Yeah, Titus, he. He appeared to march right on with his phone call, but after he got off, he explained to you.

[Mark]

He explained? Yes. It's. He's saving the state of Mississippi.

[Kyle]

Okay, what happened? So Titus went in there to see if.

[Donnie]

Oh, I saw Mincy was taking a phone call.

[Kyle]

He was taking a phone call. And mostly we said, titus, go in there and just act like you're doing work and see if he either apologize or gets up and leaves or whatever. And he just. So he didn't notice Mark at all.

[Mark]

After he hung up? He did turn and just say, my bad, and then corner me and told me all about Mississippi.

[Big Cat]

He appeared visibly shaken this morning.

[Mark]

Yeah, I mean, it seems like it's.

[Kyle]

Why Oxford's in bad shape.

[Mark]

Oxford's in really bad shape.

[Kate]

People's houses are getting crushed by falling.

[Johnny]

By trees.

[Kyle]

The tree. It's not getting. The problem is it's not getting warmer down there. They got two inches of ice, which is unprecedented, and it's staying. It's just staying. And the trees that didn't fall immediately are falling now because they just been weighed down for so long. And Oxford's nothing but trees. Oxford, Rolling Fork. You know, Ripley, all these towns are just.

[Mark]

He said Ole Miss is off for a couple more weeks.

[Kyle]

February 8th is when it's crazy.

[Donnie]

Well, fear Not Mincy's on the case.

[Mark]

Yeah. Well, I did ask him. What? Like. I mean, that's. That's terrible. But, like, what are. What are you doing? Like, how he was.

[Big Cat]

He was in our meeting today.

[Mark]

It's like, I'm making calls.

[Big Cat]

Well, he stood up from the meeting. He was like, that's a senator, and left. So it is. He's talking to the actual senator.

[Donnie]

Senator. Have we thought about sending Dana Beers?

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Big Cat]

In a rental with some cigs.

[Donnie]

Yeah, get them. Get them all straightened out.

[Kyle]

I mean, going to a college town with a bunch of beer would.

[Donnie]

That would.

[Kyle]

They would appreciate problems.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Yeah. How's everyone doing?

[Big Cat]

Pretty good.

[Mark]

I feel bad I missed the whack fit.

[Donnie]

That's all right.

[Mark]

Feel bad.

[Kyle]

How do I just rewack this?

[Mark]

If this was a Brandon idea, I.

[Brandon]

Think we all could do better. So really run it back for. We can do it in SF or when we get back.

[Big Cat]

I think we look like jackasses. I think I look bad.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

I look terrible.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Nick. Honestly, you just look like Nick. I like this.

[Mark]

You look cool.

[Brandon]

Wear the kind of cool dude.

[Donnie]

You can wear it to normal.

[Big Cat]

I'm embarrassed to wear. I can't. These pants have been my closet.

[Kyle]

Well, that's where everybody's pants are.

[Johnny]

Really?

[Big Cat]

You're not a drawer guy? Oh, they've been in the back of my closet collecting dust.

[Donnie]

I'm thinking about getting rid of all of my clothes.

[Big Cat]

That's what Deutsch was going to do. I can't talk about it.

[Donnie]

Why? Oh, he is moving and he's. I said, do you need help moving? He's like, I just have clothes.

[Big Cat]

Deutsch is pitching. Just starting a completely clean slate.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I'm. I'm thinking about doing it. What do you guys think?

[Kyle]

That's a lot of clothes.

[Donnie]

I understand, but there's so many clothes. I. So the other option that I had was that laser pointer. So funny. The other option I had was wear. Wear my clothes regularly for two weeks, and whatever I wear in those two weeks, I keep. And everything.

[Mark]

Everything else goes. Now, is this. Are you going to replace it with similar clothes, or is this a complete style overhaul?

[Donnie]

It's so. It's in. In theory, a style overhaul, but it will end up being. Exactly.

[Mark]

It'll be the exact same.

[Donnie]

Like, we're gonna. We're gonna start as a style overhaul, and then it's gonna slowly morph back into just black and jeans and black sweatshirts.

[Kate]

Would you be open to a stylist?

[Mark]

I.

[Donnie]

My wife's Been telling me I need to get one. I don't know. They're just like.

[Kate]

I think you'd be surprised. I think.

[Kyle]

No, no.

[Titus]

You're wearing now is good.

[Kate]

They would unlock some cool stuff for you that you'd be like, oh, you.

[Big Cat]

Would get rid of everything and then just buy the same.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Because I don't care about how I look. I care about how I feel.

[Kate]

But you could tell them that soft.

[Donnie]

Sweatshirts is all I care about. Like, I just want a soft sweatshirt.

[Big Cat]

Your. Your sweatshirts aren't soft. Your sweatshirts are rich. You left one of them, mostly studio, and we were passing it around. It was heavy.

[Mark]

That was the heaviest.

[Kyle]

Oh, heavy.

[Donnie]

Well, that's.

[Big Cat]

I've never experienced anything.

[Donnie]

Like, the heavy sweatshirts is a great. You. It's just like an extra shield of armor over your. Your boobs.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

But, like, I don't know where, like, a lay person can find.

[Brandon]

Booby.

[Stephen Shea]

Booby.

[Brandon]

I'm just trying to be whack.

[Big Cat]

You're wearing your hat wackley.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you are.

[Brandon]

They feel like bags of sand.

[Big Cat]

You're quoting movies.

[Brandon]

My wife. I'm just trying to be. I'm just trying to be whack.

[Donnie]

So would you guys think it's a bad idea? I think it's an ambitious idea. I do.

[Kyle]

It's like an unnecessary.

[Donnie]

I do it every. Every couple years with my socks and my underwear, which I love doing. I do a total overhaul. I just throw it all out and then buy the same of everything that.

[Kyle]

Socks and underwear, though. Yeah. Starting. I imagine you got to throw out multiple closets full of.

[Donnie]

You guys have clothes. How much of your closet do you actually wear?

[Big Cat]

I got rid of about half of it, and it's still jam.

[Donnie]

Right. I got rid of probably a quarter of mine, and I still don't wear anything.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I feel good. I think you should do it.

[Donnie]

I think I should do it. Say fuck. Should get some whack outfit.

[Big Cat]

Get a stylist for, like, one month, and let's see. Because I think we'd make fun of you.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I love to see the.

[Johnny]

I would love to see.

[Donnie]

That one was saying, what if I got hot?

[Kate]

Fashion show. Fashion show. Fashion show. Come on.

[Donnie]

Yeah, but then the problem with the stylist is they buy you a shirt, and then it feels good, and then you wash it once, and it doesn't feel good anymore.

[Kyle]

True.

[Mark]

That's true.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Happens to me every time.

[Titus]

Are you still picking from, like, the top of the pile, or do you have so many clothes that, you know, like just a pile of laundry that you haven't put away yet.

[Donnie]

I do save. I mean I, I don't wash jeans. Like I wash jeans like once a week. I mean that's everyone, that's every guy, right?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Do that. And then I will save. Yeah. Sweatshirt. If I get a real soft one, I'll just be like, you know what, I'm going to wear that again if I don't get a stain on it.

[Titus]

Don't you think you'll just do that then with whatever.

[Donnie]

But I'm also, I'm also thinking about doing this because I'm in a transition phase where I, I, my wife redid my closet and I have all my clothes across the hall in like a room. And so I have to bring them back. And it's like, I don't really want.

[Kyle]

To bring them back.

[Donnie]

I just want to get rid of them all. I don't know. Go.

[Johnny]

Clean slate.

[Mark]

I would love to see you dressed like an NBA player that knows he's on national television.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Clean slate shows up to the game.

[Donnie]

With like a jade ring full on. Clean slate.

[Mark]

Little man purse.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Some wacky hat that like civilians can't buy.

[Donnie]

Yeah. And then I'll do that for a day and then I'll wear a black T shirt.

[Brandon]

You think they get off the bus or whatever and there's no photographer? Do they like wait and they get.

[Donnie]

Back on the bus? They do like the old. Like when you were, when you were like had a crush in like middle school and you saw like you were like basically doing, pacing outside of their class, being like, oh, I forgot something. Gotta walk back this way. Hoping to just run into them.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Oh, whoa.

[Brandon]

The NFL guys are like really sad because like no one knows who they are by face.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Brandon]

So when you're like the third string.

[Donnie]

Tight end has shown up in this crazy alpha.

[Brandon]

Crazy who knowing.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

We have Donnie's presentation and that's really all that matters.

[Donnie]

That's why we're here. Yeah. That's why we're all here.

[Kyle]

That's why we still work here.

[Big Cat]

He said he needs to one.

[Kyle]

What?

[Donnie]

What?

[Kyle]

Why?

[Brandon]

Let's give him all the time he needs.

[Mark]

No, that's a good thing.

[Kyle]

He's doing it now.

[Donnie]

You're right, you're right, you're right.

[Big Cat]

So I walked, I walked in the kitchen cuz we shot a what's for lunch today and he was working on it and it looked exactly like the other one because it just was. He had not started the but he has all his dreams written down by hand.

[Donnie]

Oh, good.

[Big Cat]

So he's just. I think he's transferring data.

[Donnie]

Got it.

[Kyle]

So the second hour is all Donnie.

[Big Cat]

He's working hard, just like that. It tears me up for some reason. Blurry ass. Donnie, up right now.

[Donnie]

Look how blurry.

[Titus]

How does having cancer ruin your dreams?

[Kyle]

Wait, what do you say?

[Mark]

Hold on. Zoom in on his phone.

[Kyle]

Oh, wait.

[Donnie]

What?

[Kyle]

Oh, dang it. What was it?

[Donnie]

Is that Stalin? That was Stalin.

[Kate]

He's looking up.

[Donnie]

Is that Joseph Stalin? I think that was Stalin.

[Kyle]

What do you think you saw?

[Mark]

I think it was a picture of me on his phone.

[Kyle]

I think that was a picture.

[Donnie]

Great preview.

[Brandon]

Good eye for you.

[Mark]

I think that was a picture because I was doing like a. I. I did like a. A photo shoot and I sold. We sold these T shirts back in the day with homage. And. And I did a photo shoot where I was like, wearing short shorts and spread my legs and I had a ball, like, over my crotch.

[Kyle]

And that was it.

[Mark]

That was black and white and it looked.

[Donnie]

Oh, I can't wait to be.

[Titus]

It's gonna be a bullseye.

[Mark]

And I think it was. I think he was looking at that picture.

[Donnie]

Oh, well, that means you might be dreaming about you.

[Kyle]

It's very possible.

[Donnie]

That can be very possible.

[Big Cat]

Marcus, Mark, do you guys talk off?

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah, that's it. That's it. Nice catch. For sure. What if that has nothing to do with the presentation? I actually, now I'm rooting for that. Where we have to, like, we finished the presentation. We're like, hey, wait a second. Why did you have that picture up on your phone?

[Mark]

Yeah, this is the picture.

[Brandon]

I just found it.

[Mark]

Hang on.

[Donnie]

Oh, man.

[Big Cat]

Brandon.

[Kyle]

Hey.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's it. It's 100 it over.

[Big Cat]

Under 15 guinea pigs in mama's basement.

[Kyle]

Have you. Do you know.

[Brandon]

What is it?

[Big Cat]

Oh, no, I was just guessing.

[Titus]

Infestation. Wait, What?

[Kyle]

We're at 14.

[Donnie]

Oh, so you're going to be at 15 in a matter of hours.

[Kyle]

So. So last year we got the guinea pigs, right? We got. I don't remember what I got. I think I bought my kid four guinea pigs.

[Brandon]

That's a lot of guinea pigs.

[Kyle]

Maybe it was two and then it turned into four.

[Donnie]

Tommy texted us. Can I interest you guys in free guinea pigs?

[Kyle]

Oh, my God.

[Big Cat]

Your sister's running around frantic trying to get rid of.

[Kyle]

I thought my mom was taking them.

[Big Cat]

She's trying to get rid of guinea pig.

[Mark]

How many?

[Kyle]

14. We're 14 now. We just.

[Brandon]

What does that mean?

[Kyle]

We had four then we had six and they just keep going. And I thought by the last I checked at my mom's house was about three or four months ago, and it was six and it just ballooned to 14. She never told me they reproduced. Yeah, they're just fucking.

[Kate]

Your mom's basement is a fuck fest.

[Kyle]

It's just. It's just we're up to.

[Brandon]

Where are they?

[Big Cat]

In the basement.

[Kyle]

I bought her a big. It's almost like if you. If you took a line from behind Titus out and just encapsulated him and Kate. Like a big area.

[Donnie]

That was the worst way of describing.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

You take out Titus and Kate.

[Kyle]

I think that would be very easy way. If you take the space occupied by Titus and Kate right now and put a box around them. That's. That's. That's it.

[Donnie]

That's the two chairs.

[Kyle]

They were in my eyeline. I was looking at them.

[Big Cat]

That doesn't seem like much space for four.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's not a lot of space.

[Kyle]

It was fine for six. I. How is this hard? I. I'm looking at two people walking.

[Donnie]

Off in a box.

[Kyle]

If you. I just walked it off in a box.

[Donnie]

Laser pointer.

[Kyle]

You're the only one that doesn't get this. What? Two people right there. If you put a box around them.

[Titus]

I'm having trouble.

[Big Cat]

To the wall.

[Kyle]

I'm not sure.

[Mark]

But you said, take me out or I'm in.

[Donnie]

All right. Laser pointed on the ground. You draw it on the ground. This is actually really. All right. See where the camera is?

[Kyle]

How'd you do this?

[Donnie]

Okay, here we go.

[Kyle]

How'd you do this? What?

[Donnie]

There you go. You got it.

[Kyle]

All right, all right, all right. So you take about, like here, up box. About that. Probably about 8 by 10 box.

[Mark]

It's got those jagged lines.

[Kyle]

8 by 10 box.

[Donnie]

So it's like. It's like.

[Brandon]

Why are you zigzagging, shaking like that?

[Mark]

Zigzag fin.

[Kyle]

Because I don't have.

[Donnie]

Good.

[Kyle]

Okay. Okay. I'm fine. It's a laser pointer. Everybody shakes with a laser pointer. You can't hold a laser pointer straight. I. I'm. Yeah, it's a box. What are you doing?

[Big Cat]

You were a big cat.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

So are you trying to. What's the. What's the move?

[Kyle]

I don't know. I was. The last I heard. I talked to my mom last week. I said, what are we going to do with these animals? And she said, all animals are going with me. And that was done. I was. I was finished. Okay, that's fine.

[Titus]

Fine.

[Kyle]

Figure it out. And now apparently, Tommy is in the guinea pig redistribution business.

[Donnie]

I'm laser pointing the workers out there.

[Kyle]

My life is hell.

[Donnie]

Yeah, okay.

[Kyle]

That's. It's not. It's not good right now.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Guinea pig problem is not a problem you want to have as an adult.

[Big Cat]

Can you say getting rid of two might be kind of tough?

[Kyle]

I think I just want to take them back to the store we bought them. Just say, hey, I.

[Mark]

Can you do that?

[Kyle]

I turn this two into 14. You. They could just.

[Donnie]

Free money for them, man. I asked for a picture from Tommy. They're like little rats.

[Kyle]

That's what a guinea pig is.

[Kate]

And the only way to stop it. There's no space to separate 14 guinea pigs.

[Kyle]

I don't know. I don't know how it got. I know how it got to this point. I don't know how she let it get.

[Big Cat]

Can you.

[Mark]

Can you let them out into the wild?

[Kyle]

I think they died, so.

[Mark]

They died pretty quick.

[Kyle]

I don't know, man.

[Titus]

So will your babysitter now have to take care of 14 guinea pigs?

[Kyle]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

That's a. That's such a weird problem for you.

[Donnie]

To have to solve. She's moving tomorrow?

[Kyle]

I think so.

[Donnie]

And you're leaving for San Francisco on Sunday?

[Kyle]

I think so.

[Big Cat]

You have two days to get rid of 14 guinea pigs and a mama.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And your mom.

[Kyle]

I think so.

[Donnie]

This is a problem. It is kind of crazy.

[Kyle]

You just.

[Donnie]

Problems find you. They're not like big problems, but just annoyances.

[Kyle]

Some of these are big problems.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

The guinea pigs, the house. Yeah, that's probably a big problem.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

So I should just sign a deed over to the guinea pigs.

[Kyle]

I don't understand. We got two guinea pigs, and they turned into 14. But we bought. We got one rabbit last year. It's still one rabbit. It hasn't reproduced. Well, you're right.

[Donnie]

That life. That makes sense.

[Kyle]

Anyway.

[Big Cat]

Who's to say?

[Kyle]

Agree to disagree.

[Mark]

You have one rabbit.

[Donnie]

One solo rabbit.

[Titus]

You know how sex works.

[Donnie]

You're worried you're.

[Kyle]

That. That. That was the.

[Donnie]

Oh, okay. All right, all right.

[Kyle]

What's happening here?

[Donnie]

I'm laser pointing these guys.

[Brandon]

What is happening?

[Donnie]

You're so whack right now. You're so whack.

[Kyle]

I gotta make a call on this.

[Donnie]

I'll do an ad while you do.

[Johnny]

A call.

[Donnie]

Animal control.

[Stephen Shea]

What?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Stephen Shea]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

What a Mississippi ass problem.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Guinea pig infestation.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Too many guinea pigs.

[Brandon]

Kind of like adorable.

[Donnie]

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[Donnie]

You guys talk about LeBron getting emotional?

[Mark]

We did.

[Donnie]

On mostly sports.

[Mark]

We did.

[Donnie]

Did you know that that was his eighth video that they played for him.

[Mark]

In Cleveland every year that he's gone back?

[Donnie]

Pretty much, yes.

[Brandon]

That's. So that was his eighth number eight tribute video.

[Donnie]

That actually is pretty cool, though, being like, I'm so important, I get eight of these.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Also, it's crazy that the Cavs were wearing throwback uniforms that LeBron debuted.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that's pretty cool. That's how long he's been playing that he started.

[Donnie]

He reviewed the current uniforms that are now throwbacks.

[Mark]

That's crazy.

[Big Cat]

That is crazy.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Hey, that's nuts.

[Mark]

Welcome home, Bronnie.

[Donnie]

Welcome home, Bronnie. He's got to go play for them one more year, right?

[Brandon]

I see. What. What ranked player is he in the NBA now, if you had to?

[Donnie]

Not very high anymore.

[Brandon]

Top 100.

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's tough. 100.

[Brandon]

So statistically a top 100 guys should play.

[Donnie]

He's also probably top five most overpaid right now.

[Mark]

He could conceivably, like, if. If he was fine, like, just being at the end of the bench and not. But like having earned a spot but not actually ever really get in.

[Donnie]

Right.

[Mark]

He could probably play for like 10 more years, right.

[Donnie]

If you want.

[Brandon]

But he's how valuable?

[Mark]

Point. At a certain point, he's going to get to a point where he's like, I can't start in this league anymore, so I have to decide. He's not gonna not start.

[Donnie]

No.

[Brandon]

How valuable is he for the Lakers in terms of being LeBron James in the break?

[Donnie]

Pretty valuable in the jersey.

[Brandon]

Pretty valuable attention.

[Donnie]

Yeah, pretty valuable. And that would be the move for the ca. Would definitely. Yeah, I guess he's not overpaid in that respect. I'm just saying his. His. His statistics versus salary are very. Like, if you were paying, what does he get? 40 million. If you're paying 40 million for what he's statistically doing, that would be like, well, this is a problem.

[Big Cat]

What's he averaging?

[Mark]

10 Brandon Walkers for that?

[Donnie]

You know, what is he averaging? I think he's averaging, like, somewhere.

[Big Cat]

He's 2.3.

[Donnie]

2.3?

[Mark]

Yeah, 2.3.

[Donnie]

LeBron James, what is he averaging this season? Oh, 22.

[Mark]

Pretty good.

[Donnie]

Yeah, it is pretty good.

[Brandon]

22 points a game.

[Mark]

Pretty.

[Donnie]

All right, so maybe I'm wrong. I just saw that he scored 11 last night and I know the game that he didn't score 10, so I was like, oh, he's. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[Mark]

No, he's still. He's still a. A very good NBA player. He's just not by his standards. I mean, it's the same sort of thing as, like, Jordan on the Wizards. As people talk about Jordan, like he was dying on the court and couldn't move and all that, he averaged 20 something.

[Donnie]

Yeah. If he had Luka on that team, they would be a player. But I think there's also a weird thing happening right now where their Lakers are like, yeah, we're going to focus on Luca.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

And so that's never happened to LeBron in the last 23 years.

[Mark]

So Giannis wants a trade, and the warriors could be a potential suitor.

[Stephen Shea]

Whoa.

[Mark]

I threw this out to Brandon. If the warriors got Giannis and LeBron somehow with stuff, is that the most hated team in the league, or will people surprisingly actually rally behind them and be like, this is pretty cool?

[Donnie]

I Think you'd have to add Durant.

[Mark]

For it to be at Durant.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Yeah, that would take it over.

[Big Cat]

I think that would be cool.

[Brandon]

I know.

[Mark]

I think.

[Brandon]

I think it'd be awesome.

[Mark]

Yeah. It's Braun, and it has all the makings of a team you would hate, but, like, I think the second you see them take the court together.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Start cheering for them.

[Donnie]

LeBron would hate that, though. LeBron would probably hate that because it's Steph's team. And Steph is still good. He's younger.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

And Giannis is still very good.

[Mark]

You good?

[Johnny]

We got.

[Kyle]

My mom didn't answer, but Tommy answered. Tommy's at school and he's running a guinea pig summit at school.

[Brandon]

What, did he brought the guinea pigs or. He's just talking.

[Donnie]

He's holding and dealing them.

[Kyle]

He's holding court about the guinea pigs, and then he said he only texted the yak group chat because he wanted to start the general conversation about guinea pigs within barstool.

[Donnie]

Mission accomplished.

[Kyle]

He was hoping that the word got out about the guinea pigs throughout the office.

[Brandon]

In general, has he expressed interest or even expectations of working here soon?

[Kyle]

No, not soon. He knows that I'm going to make him do some college, but. Yeah, he's not.

[Donnie]

Too much college.

[Big Cat]

A little bit.

[Donnie]

I don't want him to have his brain ruined by college.

[Kyle]

Yeah, neither does his mother. I. We'll get there. With Tommy, high school is enough of a battle right now. So he's gonna be driving in a couple of months.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Donnie]

Wait, wait.

[Kyle]

What? Don't tell me that I'll be driving in a couple of months.

[Donnie]

Oh, with a permit?

[Kyle]

No, alone.

[Donnie]

How old is he?

[Brandon]

What do you mean? What, with a permit? 14. Turning 15.

[Kyle]

15?

[Brandon]

He's 15.

[Kate]

What?

[Kyle]

He'll be 16. And? And he'll be 16 in July.

[Donnie]

What?

[Johnny]

Oh, my God.

[Donnie]

Okay. That. Me. I thought he was 13. No, that's what I was like. What are you talking about?

[Kyle]

I've been thinking he was nine for six years, but he's 15.

[Donnie]

Wait, when did we do Tommy Walker Day. How old did he turn?

[Johnny]

20, 21.

[Brandon]

He was a child.

[Johnny]

He was.

[Kate]

That's how I always picture.

[Kyle]

He was turning 11.

[Brandon]

We were sword fighting with him.

[Donnie]

We were throwing some cigarettes at him.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we were. Yeah, we were.

[Kyle]

You can smoke them now. Well, no, I'm gonna let him.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you gotta.

[Kyle]

I mean, if the man's in the guinea pig business, he's gonna need to be able to smoke.

[Donnie]

Tommy Walker's gonna. I would like to drive with Him.

[Mark]

I'm gonna get cut off in traffic by Tommy Walker.

[Donnie]

Oh, my God.

[Titus]

Gotta throw him a super sweet 16, right?

[Kyle]

No, we will. Oh, sweet 16.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

All right, let's go.

[Donnie]

All out, big time.

[Big Cat]

Every goodie bag gets a guinea pig up by then.

[Kate]

Damn.

[Donnie]

We've seen that boy grow up.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That's wild.

[Kyle]

I've seen all of them grow up.

[Donnie]

I know, but, like, it's. Well, it's like, crazy, even. Like, someone was tweeting. I saw, like, six years ago today was the first, like, mention of COVID It's like. That was six years.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no way.

[Donnie]

Yeah, 20. 20.

[Kyle]

That means when was newspaper week then? That was. That was right around now.

[Brandon]

Six years ago.

[Donnie]

Yeah, the pen deal was six years. Well, that's a bummer.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Brandon]

Well, a lot has happened in between.

[Donnie]

I understand. But, like, that's a.

[Brandon]

That's the way I look at it.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Think of all that. A lot of life, everything that's changed. All the people who have come and went.

[Big Cat]

There's not been too much went.

[Donnie]

No. We don't do wins here.

[Brandon]

Recycle people so fast.

[Kyle]

There's been more went than you think.

[Big Cat]

This is not a went place.

[Donnie]

No, not at all.

[Brandon]

The people that have went.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

The past five years, we've got a lot of. Are we talking about leaving? Yeah, that's wenting.

[Kyle]

Coley left the show.

[Brandon]

So many people. So many people. You mean just Office Wide at the company have left?

[Donnie]

Yeah, I guess. There's been a lot of.

[Brandon]

In many ways.

[Donnie]

Yeah, there has been a lot of went. You're right.

[Kyle]

We don't have Blackjack Fletcher anymore.

[Johnny]

That's true.

[Kate]

Trista?

[Donnie]

No, Gone, man. It's pretty much just a list of Rico's enemies.

[Big Cat]

Brandon.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah. Brandon Newman. Josh.

[Big Cat]

Pray, pray.

[Kate]

Oh, Josh.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Damn.

[Mark]

Wow.

[Donnie]

A lot of went.

[Kyle]

Willie, Cologne, Mrags.

[Johnny]

Carl.

[Kyle]

Tico, Texas brother.

[Big Cat]

Her brother Patrick.

[Brandon]

Think about people like Patrick.

[Big Cat]

Tika.

[Donnie]

No, it's Patrick, Texas.

[Brandon]

He was in our lives.

[Donnie]

He was a little.

[Brandon]

Wait, what?

[Kate]

The.

[Big Cat]

Was Tico's last name Texas.

[Kate]

Texas.

[Big Cat]

Okay, so Patrick, Texas.

[Donnie]

Yeah, Patrick, Texas.

[Big Cat]

Pat Texas.

[Kyle]

How do you text? She. He worked for Barstool. Her brother. We don't know.

[Brandon]

He just came.

[Kate]

He had an intensity.

[Brandon]

He's the guy you don't.

[Donnie]

Oh, there we go.

[Kyle]

I liked him.

[Mark]

I did, too.

[Brandon]

I thought he was.

[Donnie]

Wait, he's Patrick. Tico.

[Brandon]

He loved me.

[Big Cat]

So, wait, is Tika. What's Tico's first name?

[Donnie]

Texas.

[Kyle]

Texas. Comment the whole time.

[Donnie]

Tico. 10.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Donnie]

Tico, Texas.

[Kyle]

I liked her, too.

[Big Cat]

I did too.

[Kate]

She was very fun on the fire. She was fun on the gambling streams.

[Donnie]

By the way, in front of us, we have gifts. You want to open them?

[Kyle]

Yes, kinda.

[Donnie]

We have gifts from Noble who are going. Coming on as the official training shoe of Barstool Chicago. Very excited. New shoes for everyone. So we got a lot.

[Johnny]

Hell yeah.

[Donnie]

Noble, very excited. Shadow Micropoley, our guy.

[Kate]

Oh, I love these.

[Donnie]

This now immediately makes my fit, not whack.

[Kate]

Oh, these are.

[Brandon]

These are for us.

[Donnie]

Oh, these are for you, buddy. These are for you.

[Kate]

Look at the grip on the bottom of these. These babies.

[Donnie]

Did you guys. Did you guys see that? Oldie and K slept in a bed together last night.

[Big Cat]

What happened?

[Donnie]

K left his shoes or, sorry, left his keys to his apartment in Mikey Betts's car. They went out, Mikey Betts left kick, then called Oldie and said, hey, can I stay at your place, which is a hotel room room? And he was just like, yeah, sure. And then they slept. He slept on the bed at. To start the night. And Oldie said they woke up and they were just face to face like three in the morning. It's kind of beautiful. Yeah. No socks. These are comfortable. These are comfortable. I feel fast in these. Really fast. Really fast. Yeah, that's a. That's a good combo though. Oldie and.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I would like to know what they. They spoke about.

[Donnie]

Pillow talk.

[Titus]

Not much talking going on.

[Big Cat]

Not between those boys.

[Donnie]

When Oldie comes here, he doesn't. He leaves his luggage here. He doesn't take it too.

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah, I noticed there were just bags.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

His luggage is often just full of food.

[Donnie]

Yeah, it's half food.

[Kyle]

He brings a lot of food.

[Donnie]

Yeah. And then tickle trunk is what he calls it.

[Kyle]

What?

[Donnie]

Tickle trunk is where he keeps his clothes.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, I don't know that.

[Johnny]

So.

[Donnie]

But he. So he. So Katic woke up and was like, hey, do you have an extra pair of socks and oldies? Like, I don't have any clothes. Why? Yeah, I don't know.

[Johnny]

I don't know.

[Donnie]

He brings snacks and then he leaves his clothes here.

[Big Cat]

Wait, did I miss why Katic needed socks?

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah, good question.

[Kyle]

Really good question.

[Donnie]

I don't know about that.

[Brandon]

That's an odd garment to eat.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That's not a borrowing piece of clothing, I don't think.

[Brandon]

Grab some.

[Donnie]

Can I get it?

[Big Cat]

When Tommy Smokes was coming out here regularly, he asked me to bring in one pair of underwear clean for him because he didn't pack enough.

[Kyle]

But why couldn't I just buy a pair I know.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I gave him my worst pair.

[Johnny]

They're like.

[Big Cat]

They end up sideways on you.

[Johnny]

Oh.

[Donnie]

Nothing worse.

[Big Cat]

He texted me on the plane, said, these suck. Was this your worst pair?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I gave you my worst pair.

[Donnie]

What do you think you're gonna get?

[Big Cat]

You're not getting my. My luck gave him right off.

[Kyle]

Why do we have. Why do we have a worst pair of underwear?

[Big Cat]

I know.

[Kyle]

The second a pair of underwear is not comfortable, we should. We should be like, never again.

[Big Cat]

But Brandon.

[Kyle]

But we'll throw it right back in the rotation.

[Big Cat]

As soon as you get rid of your worst pair, another one takes the mantle.

[Kyle]

I guess.

[Brandon]

But I have like a very worst pair that I don't think.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Blue Caterpillar.

[Kyle]

But you'll. And you'll circle back to it every now and then.

[Donnie]

Y. I put them on a couple ill fitting pairs.

[Brandon]

It would take three seconds to throw it away.

[Big Cat]

Caterpillar brand underwear.

[Brandon]

I don't. That's why Amazon.

[Donnie]

I need these. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Remember Stephen Che Vacation guy?

[Kyle]

Oh, man, that's salty.

[PFT Commenter]

With.

[Kyle]

He's probably.

[Brandon]

So Stephen Che is doing a 15 day Bay Area vacation, Correct?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Imagine the brunch he's having right now out there Saturday.

[Kate]

Oh, they do brunch good out there.

[Donnie]

Have him zoom in. I want to see his.

[Kyle]

It's legitimately.

[Brandon]

It's such a long vacation.

[Kyle]

Legitimately. 11 day vacation.

[Donnie]

Have him zoom in.

[Kyle]

Right. Or 13.

[Donnie]

And he keeps saying it's because it's for his birthday. It's like your birthday's not till February. No.

[Big Cat]

Wait, really?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Also, how. How old is he?

[Johnny]

It's his 40s.

[Mark]

It is his 40th.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Johnny]

So at least he's got some grace there.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Donnie]

No, that's some chick energy.

[Johnny]

But we're all good.

[Brandon]

I wouldn't want to be there for that long.

[Donnie]

You're.

[Kyle]

You're going a couple days early, right?

[Big Cat]

I leave tomorrow morning.

[Kyle]

You're going two days early. Yeah. So he's normal Tuesday.

[Big Cat]

Take advantage.

[Donnie]

Two days early is normal.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Like he would have had plenty of time in the week. We're going to do other things.

[Donnie]

Right.

[Johnny]

He's probably gonna say next week.

[Big Cat]

He was on a vacation.

[Donnie]

Next week is Jaguars work.

[Mark]

Is true. We gotta lock in for business.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

No pleasure.

[Big Cat]

Right, Kate?

[Kyle]

So we can't allow him to have any pleasure next week.

[Mark]

No pleasure.

[Donnie]

None.

[Johnny]

Gonna be so pouty.

[Donnie]

Oh, he's gonna be.

[Big Cat]

So he was a curmudgeon in the group chat.

[Kyle]

Yeah. He was proud of y'. All. I didn't catch up on that whole thing.

[Donnie]

He just, he wrote back. I. We. We were doing rules for Plinko and there was one specific rule, and then he broke the rule. And I said, hey, that's. You can't do that.

[Johnny]

The rule.

[Donnie]

He just said, fine. Oh, no. I said, stephen, go enjoy your vacation. Word. The adults are talking. And he said, fine.

[Big Cat]

We can't have food related challenges.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Big Cat]

And then he was like, well, what about fortune cookies?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Do those count as food?

[Donnie]

Yeah. And TJ Was like, in what world is that not a food?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, T.J. you.

[Donnie]

You were being.

[Johnny]

Yeah, I might.

[Big Cat]

You were being sassy in there.

[Donnie]

I liked it though, TJ because it's ridiculous. But yeah, he just. I said, the adults are talking. He's a fine.

[Titus]

You're right at the wrong way.

[Donnie]

Yeah. No, a fine is. That's. That's a. You say fine when you're pissed.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Fine doesn't mean fine.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Like if. So if someone asks you, like, hey, rule is old.

[Kate]

It's time.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Like, oh, you want this for dinner? Fine. That's. You do not want that for dinner.

[Brandon]

Yeah. At all of that meal.

[Titus]

But he also greets everyone with like a hey, buddy. And it kind of comes off condescending too.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Titus]

And he claims it's not.

[Donnie]

What if he's a dick? What if we just haven't picked up on the fact that he's an ass?

[Kyle]

I mean, a six day vacation before your vacation is a dick move.

[Big Cat]

Brittany, you skipped an antenna.

[Kyle]

It's a crazy move. Unbelievable.

[Big Cat]

Kate, have you been in talks with the hairdresser?

[Kate]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

How long is this appointment going to take?

[Kate]

She said it's going to take if you really want his head bleached. And the spot she said is going to take a long time.

[Big Cat]

Perfect. Like estimated Sunday.

[Kate]

We've blocked off all of Sunday evening. She's gonna have to do it a few times. She said she's done it on a Mexican gentleman before with dark hair and it took. It'll be orange if she doesn't really get to do it all the way through.

[Big Cat]

There's no losing in this situation.

[Kate]

She also has done. She's like, oh, this is perfect. She's done leopard spots on her dog.

[Donnie]

So that's.

[Kyle]

That's a dog.

[Kate]

She knows what she's doing. Okay, but I'm excited.

[Kyle]

And Nick, what were we all doing that summer? We were all moving to Chicago. I was just the first. I was just the most on time guy.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you were excited.

[Kyle]

I got here early.

[Big Cat]

You were the most amped Up.

[Kyle]

I was. I came out here and basically started. Started everything except for the guys who are in Chicago and the other people that beat me here. Yes, Mark, I noticed you had.

[Mark]

Well, I mean, like you're trying to differentiate yourself from Stephen Shea by saying you went to the location where all of us were going.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Mark]

You got there earlier than all of us.

[Donnie]

Significantly earlier.

[Mark]

I don't know how that differentiates from what Che is doing right now, but.

[Kyle]

He'S taken a vacation for a week before we go out there.

[Mark]

Right.

[Kyle]

All I did was take an entire summer.

[Mark]

And it was not a vacation because you were at your house.

[Kyle]

Correct. There we go.

[Donnie]

TJ has he responded to your text?

[Big Cat]

He has not.

[Brandon]

Wow.

[Kyle]

I've got controversy brewing.

[Donnie]

Oh, no.

[Kyle]

My mom didn't answer, so I text her, I said, what are we doing with the guinea pig? She says, I am taking them. Oh, oh, so somebody's being lied to about the guinea pigs now. Tommy's just out there at the school selling guinea pigs that he doesn't deliver.

[Donnie]

Tell me. Text Tommy. Tell. I'll text him. Make sure you get the cash up front, because you don't have guinea pigs to deliver cash only up front. Deal with the problems later.

[Kyle]

Comes home with 1200.

[Donnie]

He's got no guinea pigs to give away.

[Brandon]

Are they mad desirable?

[Kyle]

No, no. They don't do anything.

[Brandon]

No one wants that anymore. No, they're not in the digital era.

[Donnie]

No.

[Brandon]

Kids, like, let me get a guinea pig.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I think hamsters and guinea pigs days were the 80s.

[Donnie]

I don't know if you were trying to be whack there, but mad. Are they hella desir.

[Kyle]

Terrible.

[Brandon]

That's. Use that in the rotation.

[Donnie]

Hela, Ella.

[Brandon]

That's Bay area.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that is Bay Area.

[Brandon]

And don't call weird.

[Donnie]

And don't. And don't call it San Fran. They get upset about that.

[Brandon]

Frisco.

[Donnie]

It's not San Fran. It's San Francisco or sf.

[Mark]

You can say sf that's in Fran is so much better than sf.

[Donnie]

I know. San Fran just is perfect. Yeah, but they don't like it.

[Mark]

It rhymes.

[Donnie]

They do not like.

[Mark]

They not know it rhymes.

[Donnie]

It might not sand. We should explain. That'll be one of the first things we do when we get there on Monday. Explain to them that San Fran rhymes.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Should we just use yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

The entire time.

[Donnie]

Use San Fran the whole time.

[Kyle]

Do other sand cities get up any about there?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Don't call San Diego, Diego, Dago, whatever, or something like that.

[Donnie]

Oh, that's a slur.

[Brandon]

And I Don't think they call it Cali. I think Cali's kind of all right.

[Kyle]

Well, we can.

[Donnie]

But they do NorCal. SoCal. And NorCal is definitely NorCal.

[Mark]

That's right.

[Donnie]

There's like a big beef between NorCal and SoCal.

[Big Cat]

I think still is.

[Kyle]

What?

[Donnie]

Tell Bro if he's NorCal or SoCal.

[Kyle]

What if he's in the middle? That's.

[Donnie]

I think that's.

[Kyle]

That's nothing.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Like that's. Is that Sacramento?

[Kate]

Right.

[Big Cat]

Where does SoCal become? No cow. Nor cow.

[Donnie]

Let's look at him.

[Kyle]

How? How decide who's the most northern person that tries to claim SoCal.

[Donnie]

I think NorCal and SoCal is just San Fran in La Cruz. Like, that's the difference.

[Kate]

Santa Barbara, I feel like, is the top of SoCal.

[Donnie]

SoCal.

[Kyle]

Right. Top of SoCal.

[Brandon]

Is.

[Donnie]

San Fran's. Not even that. Nor.

[Kyle]

It's kind of mid San Fran's.

[Big Cat]

Hardly Nor.

[Donnie]

So I think it's. Maybe it's San. Maybe it's San Fran. And up.

[Kyle]

What's Monterey is Monterey.

[Kate]

Southern Cal is Northern California.

[Donnie]

All right.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Mark]

We got to check out.

[Kyle]

So it's a bispo.

[Kate]

I think.

[Mark]

I think Abyss bows.

[Kate]

No, I think that's North End. I think Santa Barbara is the top of.

[Kyle]

If that's. If Obispo is northern, then the northern part of the state is taking almost all the state.

[Brandon]

Abispo ain't northern.

[Kyle]

What's it.

[Donnie]

Let me see if I can.

[Brandon]

I think the northern is like the Bay Area.

[Kyle]

I think if you live in extreme Northern California, you should be mad at San Francisco for calling themselves Northern California.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but they're living like Eureka.

[Kyle]

You mean Eureka or Ferndale.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You're technically Washington to me. Oregon.

[Kyle]

Whatever.

[Kate]

That.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You skipped the whole state.

[Kate]

Yeah, sure.

[Big Cat]

Do you have an expert?

[Donnie]

I have an expert.

[Titus]

Titus. Phone starts ringing.

[Kyle]

Oh, Northern's doing a lot.

[Big Cat]

Norcal's huge.

[Donnie]

He's not picking up.

[Kate]

They show the exact cut off there.

[Kyle]

No picking up.

[Donnie]

Who's hitting the remote?

[Kate]

Nope.

[Big Cat]

Somebody's airplane onto our show.

[Kyle]

So we're just in somebody usually so hard. We got nothing now.

[Donnie]

I'll text him.

[Kyle]

Unbelievable.

[Big Cat]

Wait. Agree. Let's see whose phone is trying to connect to the tv.

[Mark]

Is this Dottie?

[Kyle]

It probably your pictures.

[Donnie]

Zah. Get on that. We gotta find. Oh, wait. Oh, that was quick.

[Kyle]

Wowza. Good job.

[Donnie]

Ah, crush that. By the way, Roback. Roback activewear. Best fit, best feel. You all know Roback's best hoodies and joggers in the game. But we may not know it's best pants in the game, too. The Roback Delta pants are incredible. Really great fabric and fit for every day. They have a really nice stretch waistband for when those lbs keep stacking on. Find us pairing Robacks fulton vest with these pants to complete the fit. The vest is perfect for the winter months. Has nice zipper pockets and stretched side panels, so it's still comfortable and easy to move it. Use the code yak for 20 off your first purchase. That's 20 off all pants, joggers, vests, and more. Just use code yak and head over to Roback. R, H, O, B, a, c, d, k.com roback.com roback.com well, I, I.

[Kyle]

My whole life is about this Donnie presentation.

[Big Cat]

I know.

[Kyle]

Can we look at him again? Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I'm excited.

[Donnie]

Oh, no.

[Kate]

Is that Titus again?

[Donnie]

He's getting close to the time that he's got a.

[Kyle]

Can I just go over there and, like, clap at him twice like, chef, let's go. Something like that.

[Donnie]

Give it a shot.

[Kyle]

Or maybe something even.

[Donnie]

Well, I don't want to rush him.

[Mark]

Yeah, I kind of want to let him.

[Brandon]

His full brain.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Brandon]

Best work.

[Big Cat]

Very on edge today.

[Titus]

I have to pee. Should I just ask him how much longer he thinks?

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, do that.

[Donnie]

I had the fattest dream ever last night.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Donnie]

Well, not. I guess it wouldn't be fattest, but it was just. The entire dream was just Max and I signed up for 10k, and then the rest of the dream was us trying to get out of it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

You sure that didn't just happen?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that might have just happened.

[Donnie]

No, it was just the. It was a vivid dream. It was just like, we can't run this.

[Brandon]

That is.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no.

[Brandon]

A real nightmare.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah. He's off.

[Donnie]

It was high altitude, too. It was an Aspen 10K.

[Kyle]

What's this walk for?

[Big Cat]

Oh, did he change it? Did he change his walk?

[Kyle]

Oh, oh. Oh.

[Donnie]

This isn't good.

[Kyle]

Oh, boy.

[Mark]

Oh, no.

[Kate]

He does have a different walk today. It's like, almost like a model on a catwalk.

[Donnie]

Making us wait 10 minutes.

[Kyle]

Perfect.

[Donnie]

10. What? At most.

[Big Cat]

Sure, 10 at most.

[Mark]

5 or 15.

[Kyle]

115 at the late. 115.

[Donnie]

Great.

[Kyle]

115.

[Donnie]

This is the longest 25 minutes of our lives.

[Kyle]

Six more minutes.

[Donnie]

Jesus Christ.

[Mark]

Oh, it's going that way. What circumstances? Why did he do that?

[Big Cat]

He didn't have to do that at all.

[Brandon]

What.

[Mark]

What could get you to run a 5K or a 10K or, like, what. What's the distance and what's the charitable cause?

[Donnie]

Oh, man.

[Mark]

If someone approached you and was like, the orphans are all dying.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

It would be like 5k to save a thousand children with cancer.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

But not 900.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Mark]

If it's a 10, you're out. And if it's a 10k, 10k, absolutely.

[Donnie]

It'd have to be like.

[Brandon]

That's a good question. Like, if you told me marathon, I. I'd some people over.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Why is it always extreme running to raise money?

[Mark]

5Ks are doable, right? Like, that's like three miles. You can suck it up for the kids. But what if it's not the kids? What if it's like for just like the. The church is putting on a barbecue.

[Donnie]

Yeah. Have you guys seen. Hank brought this up the other day. Have you guys seen the guy who runs 10Ks and like, he him anywhere? So he ran a 10K in his dishwasher.

[Big Cat]

I saw him. Yeah.

[Mark]

Oh, yeah.

[Donnie]

He ran a 10k back of his car.

[Brandon]

But what did you mean dishwasher?

[Donnie]

He ran a 10K in his dishwasher.

[Big Cat]

Kind of move circle how he's not really running.

[Kyle]

How do you kitten?

[Brandon]

You're being so whack too.

[Donnie]

Dude, I am being whacked. But listen, it's only because I'm swapping around in it.

[Brandon]

So you understand why I have questions.

[Donnie]

Yeah. The only reason I don't have questions. I already watched this video here.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Brandon]

This don't understand.

[Donnie]

And this is.

[Mark]

But he's not.

[Kyle]

This is among the dumber things.

[Mark]

I don't know how you measure. This is.

[Donnie]

I think he's got like a wouldn't. You're.

[Titus]

How do we know?

[Donnie]

Did one in his oven.

[Kyle]

I don't think first.

[Mark]

Wouldn't your fitness app just say you're not moving at all? At all.

[Donnie]

Go to his page. Let's see what else he ran him in.

[Big Cat]

I might be out.

[Donnie]

I think Josh said that we can get him to come. He's coming to Chicago soon. We might have him do five. No, I mean, that's crazy. Isn't that crazy?

[Brandon]

Yeah, but it's not like.

[Donnie]

You'Re not impressed. That's funny.

[Big Cat]

That's good.

[Mark]

That one's good.

[Big Cat]

He ran out of problems.

[Brandon]

It is funny when you do it the first time.

[Donnie]

That's crazy. Marathon in a bathtub.

[Big Cat]

Does he have I'm literally insane and everyone.

[Donnie]

I mean, he is insane.

[Brandon]

He's actually doing it.

[Donnie]

Yeah. This came up because Zacho's a 36 hour stream and one of his ideas was a 10K in the booth. The PMT booth, which. That. That's gonna be a problem.

[Big Cat]

Brandon, I. I'm gonna agree with you no matter what.

[Kyle]

I hate him.

[Brandon]

I feel bad. No, I feel he is beholden to this.

[Donnie]

Oh, he's running a five.

[Big Cat]

Not on Noah.

[Brandon]

That's kind of good.

[Kyle]

Okay, that's better.

[Donnie]

He's got his. Why does he have his shoes on?

[Big Cat]

He's doing it around him.

[Kyle]

Was Noah strapped down?

[Donnie]

Okay. Yeah. Let's see the Martin Luther King one. What's that?

[Kyle]

Oh, my.

[Donnie]

Today I'm taking you on a running.

[Mark]

Tour of some of the streets Martin.

[Brandon]

Luther King grew up on. Mile two, we are at Martin Luther King Historic Park.

[Mark]

Today's a big day.

[Donnie]

I mean, in February he should run a 10k in the back of a bus. Let's get some themes going here in a trash can.

[Mark]

There's the dishwasher.

[Kate]

I mean, it's a unique idea.

[Donnie]

That's the oven says dishwasher.

[Mark]

The one that says dishwasher is the one.

[Donnie]

I was thinking the oven is crazy.

[Mark]

On up versus.

[Big Cat]

He's stuck to do this forever.

[Donnie]

Yeah, he just.

[Brandon]

That's just a hard job.

[Johnny]

Dishwasher.

[Donnie]

Oh, we got cheon done with this guy.

[Mark]

Oh my.

[Donnie]

Did you buy new sunglasses?

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, I thought I packed mine and I. I guess I didn't, so I bought new ones.

[Kyle]

How did you end up on these?

[Stephen Shea]

I liked another pair of. My wife said they look too feminine.

[Kyle]

So that was my. The other one looked more feminine than these apparently.

[Stephen Shea]

I like the other ones better, but these are kind of stunner. Shades. No.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God. How was brunch?

[Stephen Shea]

Fine. Fine. We've been doing early breakfast and just dinner, but it's been. It's been good thinking. Things out here are nice. It's like six mid-60s.

[Kyle]

I think you're a real. Looks incredible.

[Big Cat]

Only eight more days left, so.

[Kyle]

Oh yeah, we're gonna get there after.

[Donnie]

We finish another five days before we.

[Kyle]

Get a couple of. You're coming tomorrow at the end of the work week? Yeah.

[Donnie]

When's your actual birthday?

[Stephen Shea]

Tuesday.

[Kyle]

So what? During the trip. The actual plan trip that we have.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, because I'm gonna be focused on work. I'm not having work any. We're gonna have a lot of stuff to do. Like we have obviously Yak. Every day we have a bunch of challenges and tasks we have to complete. Tuesday evening is the. I'm pretty sure it's been announced the.

[Donnie]

The.

[Stephen Shea]

The football stream. Thursday evening I'm hosting the yak or the dozen pre show and intermission.

[Kyle]

Show.

[Stephen Shea]

So, yeah, we'll have stuff to do. I'm on house call on Tuesday. Plenty of stuff.

[Mark]

Oh, what have you been up to?

[Kyle]

I didn't realize you were on house call.

[Stephen Shea]

I've been biking a lot. Doing. Going to the gym every day, checking out new restaurants, walking around. It's been nice.

[Brandon]

Nice?

[Donnie]

You've been biking. I feel like you don't know how to bike.

[Stephen Shea]

Like. Like beach cruiser bikes.

[Donnie]

Do you know how to bike?

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah. Yeah, like those. Yeah, like, I don't. I don't do, like, the 21 speed, you know, all that stuff. But, yeah, I know how to bike. Competent.

[Donnie]

I don't. Prove it.

[Stephen Shea]

Bikes locked up right now.

[Donnie]

What do you mean? Just unlock it.

[Kyle]

Right over there.

[Donnie]

All right. Prove it.

[Stephen Shea]

I got a. I'm talking to you guys.

[Big Cat]

Are you in an airplane?

[Stephen Shea]

No.

[Donnie]

I know. Prove that you can bike. I sounds like I don't believe in bike.

[Titus]

I don't believe him.

[Donnie]

I don't think this guy can bike.

[Stephen Shea]

I will. I will send you a video of me.

[Donnie]

No, I want. I want you. I want much. I want you biking right now.

[Stephen Shea]

Now I'm in a parking lot.

[Kyle]

That's perfect. Probably the best place in the world to bike.

[Stephen Shea]

No, it's not because there's cars moving at all times. It's the worst place to bike.

[Kyle]

You know, the bike moves, too.

[Donnie]

This sounds like you don't know how to bike. Is anyone else getting that vibe?

[Stephen Shea]

Speaking of birthdays, happy early birthday, big cat laugh.

[Donnie]

No, no, no, no. Don't change the subject.

[Kyle]

Nobody was speaking bike.

[Titus]

That'll be your present to him.

[Kate]

What?

[Stephen Shea]

Can I ask you guys some questions first? What are you guys most looking forward to about San Francisco?

[Mark]

Your birthday.

[Donnie]

Yeah, your birthday.

[Stephen Shea]

That's fair. Mark, I actually debated getting you a present. I saw something that you might like.

[Donnie]

Well, that doesn't count debating.

[Mark]

Thank you.

[Big Cat]

Really nice of you.

[Brandon]

What did I say to that, Steve?

[Titus]

I actually decided against getting you a present.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah, well, I'm thinking about it. It's a place. It's a place, like, right next to the hotel.

[Donnie]

Okay, Hang up. Call back when you're biking.

[Stephen Shea]

Hold on.

[Kyle]

Oh, come on.

[Stephen Shea]

All right, hold on one second. Let me see how this works.

[Donnie]

I'm going to turn this around. This guy doesn't bike. He can't bike.

[Kyle]

We all agree he's just in California right now.

[Donnie]

But I really want.

[Johnny]

Oh, my God.

[Kyle]

Turn this around.

[Donnie]

I really want him to get on a bike and get hit by a car.

[Titus]

Just do it selfie style.

[Kyle]

Obviously, we want him to get Hit by a car.

[Donnie]

Yeah, we want it. And then we can play the mashup being like, parking lot's actually the worst place. No. And then he gets hit by a car.

[Kyle]

Him saying there's too many cars. I'd argue there's not gonna be enough cars.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

All right, that's a car. It's like one of those hallbacks. It's like one of those pictures. You got to prove that you're not a robot to a computer.

[Mark]

Click on every picture.

[Kyle]

Yeah, with a little car in it.

[Brandon]

It's a little too hard.

[Donnie]

Oh, all right.

[Brandon]

All right, someone's.

[Donnie]

Oh. So he knows how to unlock it.

[Kyle]

This was the last.

[Donnie]

He said it was locked.

[Kyle]

That's what was stopping him.

[Donnie]

Jesus Christ. This guy doesn't know how to bike.

[Brandon]

Who's filming him?

[Donnie]

It's probably his wife.

[Brandon]

Okay, well, should we be a little nicer?

[Donnie]

Yeah, a little nicer. You're right.

[Kyle]

She knows.

[Big Cat]

I want to see the other glasses that were too feminine.

[Donnie]

Okay, here he goes. Imagine if he just falls right away.

[Big Cat]

Okay, guess an anticlimactic.

[Kyle]

Where is he? And he's not in San Francisco. Right? He's. Where's he going? Get on the bike. That's not biking.

[Donnie]

What is he doing? Okay, here he goes.

[Big Cat]

Oh, oh, oh, he's decent.

[Kyle]

I think he knows how to bike.

[Big Cat]

Oh, he's really good.

[Donnie]

All right, hang up. Tj. We don't want to give him good. Know that he knows how to bike.

[Titus]

All right. We had a solid case for a while.

[Donnie]

Confirmed. Knows how to bike.

[Brandon]

He knows. He knows exactly.

[Big Cat]

He should have wrecked for us.

[Stephen Shea]

Damn it.

[Big Cat]

Well, I'm glad he's having fun.

[Donnie]

Yeah, no, he's having a great time.

[Kyle]

Somebody go up to Chef Donnie and tap your watch.

[Titus]

He said 115the latest.

[Big Cat]

Do we get him pre.

[Mark]

Riled up?

[Kyle]

Yeah, I think we need to get him a little.

[Big Cat]

Brandon, give him a call.

[Kyle]

Let's put some game pressure.

[Mark]

I mean, if you want.

[Kyle]

He was. He was.

[Mark]

If you want him riled up.

[Brandon]

Yeah, get in there, Mark.

[Donnie]

I'll go walk on.

[Big Cat]

Tj, do we have audio in there for the job?

[Mark]

If you want.

[Donnie]

All right, I'm gonna have to apologize.

[Brandon]

Fine.

[Donnie]

You know how to bike.

[Kyle]

You don't have to apologize.

[Big Cat]

That's a big accuracy.

[Kyle]

Let's move on to the next thing.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's actually, like, a mean thing to be like. You don't know how to bike. Yeah, it's like riding a bike.

[Kyle]

Is that.

[Big Cat]

Why is he lowering his.

[Kyle]

Does that hat indicate his what? His brain's doing at the moment, like turn it down when it's really.

[Stephen Shea]

I don't know.

[Big Cat]

I don't know why he's.

[Mark]

Oh, boy.

[Donnie]

It's just mean that he made us wait so long. Well, he's all anyone wants. Oh.

[Kyle]

In fairness, we should have told him a couple days in advance.

[Donnie]

Like two weeks.

[Stephen Shea]

Oh.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah. All right. He's got him.

[Johnny]

He's official.

[Brandon]

Warmed him up.

[Donnie]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

I've never met anybody with a shorter fuse.

[Donnie]

Oh, he's got standing up. Yeah. Like, Max loves how short his fuses.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

That says every volumes.

[Donnie]

It's like this guy's a real hothead.

[Titus]

Before I could even ask him how long he's going to take, he's. He said like cancer and dreams don't go together. Don't worry.

[Kyle]

But listen, of all the things to love about Donnie, I think the thing I love the most is how much he hates Mark Titus.

[Donnie]

Yeah, hates him.

[Kyle]

It's so funny.

[Donnie]

Hates him like Poison. Hates him like Poison. Okay, Flavortown, the playoffs.

[Brandon]

But he actually does hate him.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Now he has an opportunity to do it under the guise of theater.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Truly hate.

[Kyle]

He could professionally hate him now. Yeah.

[Donnie]

The playoffs are here. It's time to raise your game. Wait, what's that coming down the tunnel? It's Guy Fury's Flavortown sauces. Just in time to help you. Your tailgate or pregame hit different. Just like Patriots versus Seahawks. An amazing matchup. We can talk about some sauces that will pair perfectly with your next meal. Guy Fieri's Flavortown sauces slather on bold flavors and elevate your game. You can't bring that weak stuff. It's the playoffs. That's why you bring the big guns. With Guy Fieri's Flavortown sauces. This time of year demands bold flavors. Flavortown just hits different man sauces and seasonings for a flavor blitz delivered directly to your dome. Personally, I love a chicken wing right off the grill and slathered in OG Buffalo sauce. Or a nice rack of ribs and smoking hickory BBQ sauce. Listen, when game day is on the line, you got to have the flavor that brings it. Grab Flavortown sauces and seasonings wherever you can get your groceries. You must take these sauces to the house. You can grab them where you get your groceries. Remember, Flavortown sauces just hit different Flavortown.

[Kyle]

Now we wait.

[Donnie]

Now we wait. What's on Stephen Chase prep sheet? Oh, he's still mad.

[Mark]

Oh, my.

[Big Cat]

Who's he mad at now?

[Donnie]

He's actually delaying it, though.

[Kyle]

Perfect.

[Donnie]

Max, we need speakers so bad.

[Big Cat]

We need.

[Donnie]

I need to hear if you could have a Dream Garage.

[Kyle]

What?

[Donnie]

Aside from vehicles, would you put your own sandwich? Dream Garage.

[Kyle]

I don't think vehicles go in the dream Garage.

[Kate]

Extra fridge.

[Donnie]

A dream garage is like a four car garage. Two for your, like, have like a man cave, gym, golf simulator.

[Kyle]

Dream Car garage and Dream and Dream basement are pretty much the same thing.

[Donnie]

They are?

[Kyle]

Yeah. Like you just turn it into a cool place with sports things all over the wall and a big screen or leather couch, something. And a gym. Which. I have a gym in my garage.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

My problem is I don't have a heater.

[Kate]

Chicago alley garages have the bars in them.

[Big Cat]

And that's Ed.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

It has the best garage.

[Kate]

He's taking me to a couple other ones that are awesome.

[Donnie]

I don't have any. I. My. My basement. I don't have any space to myself. My spaceman is completely taken over.

[Big Cat]

It's been compromised.

[Donnie]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

You don't have a single spot.

[Donnie]

I don't have a spot.

[Kyle]

My boys are old enough that the boys have taken the basement. And we are all kind of co. That's the evolution. Yeah, that's where it gets to.

[Big Cat]

But what's happened, like, do you just do your own thing? Do you guys like.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I do my. I have a corner. They have a corner, you know, that we got.

[Big Cat]

What do you do in your corner?

[Kyle]

Oh, that's where. I mean, I live in the basement. I have the couch and the big TV that they got me. And like, oh, I got all that stuff. That's where I keep my knickknacks.

[Donnie]

Patty wax.

[Kyle]

Just my knickknacks.

[Donnie]

Don't have your Patty Wax.

[Kyle]

I don't have Patty Wax.

[Donnie]

Give a dog a bone.

[Kyle]

I don't have a dog. I have guinea pigs.

[Big Cat]

What's last knickknack you got?

[Kyle]

I'm picking up a Nolan Ryan sign poster tomorrow.

[Big Cat]

Is there space for that?

[Kyle]

Yeah, I'll make space for it.

[Big Cat]

You always say that.

[Kyle]

I'll make space for this one. Yeah, I'll make sure. I don't know. I've been more on cards this year. That's right, it was. It's been baseball cards in 26. I'm trying to build out the card collection for me and my 10 year old. He likes cards, so I'm focused on him this year.

[Big Cat]

Titus, how'd it go, man?

[Mark]

I think I riled him up pretty good.

[Brandon]

It looked like it. Yeah, it looked great.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Got both palms up.

[Brandon]

He's Warmed up?

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Did you see after you. Max went in and did the same thing. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He's so pissed already.

[Kyle]

Do we know how many people rile him up? Is it just Max and Titus?

[Mark]

Could we just send Max does rile him up?

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Know that I cooked with.

[Big Cat]

With him this morning, and I was like, dude, why are you so defensive? And he's like, no, I'm fucking not.

[Donnie]

Can we see the video that Wyatt sent us of you guys fighting? Pat's going. Pat's now going to the Super Bowl. That's awesome.

[Kate]

I love that.

[Big Cat]

Not Dante.

[Kate]

Is Dante in or out?

[Donnie]

I don't know if Dante's in there.

[Kyle]

Well, Dante.

[Big Cat]

Dante bet against him.

[Kyle]

Yeah, against him. Is. Is. That's in.

[Titus]

I think Donnie does. Is in.

[Donnie]

No way.

[Kate]

Oh, that's cool.

[Donnie]

That's awesome. Kyle.

[Big Cat]

Throat check.

[Brandon]

Still hurts to talk. Oh, I couldn't. I couldn't, like, lift weights today. I was, like, gasping for air.

[Kyle]

That would kill me.

[Brandon]

It was pretty bad. But I've talked to people, and they said that this is something that happens.

[Kyle]

You'll get through it.

[Brandon]

I'm just gonna, like, not talk as much for the rest of the week.

[Donnie]

Who sound.

[Johnny]

Okay, I'm doing.

[Mark]

We don't have, like.

[Johnny]

You have an hour left.

[Mark]

We don't have all day.

[Johnny]

Shorter one.

[Mark]

We don't have all.

[Brandon]

All day.

[Mark]

Okay, I'm doing one more other to get to. We'll do the need to do this.

[Big Cat]

Okay, let's do it then.

[Johnny]

I'll be in 10 minutes.

[Mark]

But you said that 10 minutes ago.

[Johnny]

I did.

[Big Cat]

I said.

[Johnny]

I said.

[Kyle]

You said.

[Donnie]

I said 50.

[Mark]

What?

[Kyle]

You said. This is 10.

[PFT Commenter]

Dude, you're making it long.

[Mark]

You said 10.

[Johnny]

That was 10 minutes ago.

[Mark]

Now you're saying 10 more.

[Big Cat]

You're making.

[Johnny]

Okay, five minutes.

[PFT Commenter]

105 on the end.

[Mark]

Five minutes or 10?

[Johnny]

Five minutes.

[Kyle]

It's 106.

[Donnie]

106.

[Mark]

106.

[Big Cat]

He's stressing Titus. Do you have his number?

[Mark]

I don't, actually.

[Big Cat]

You want me to text you? You can give him a ring?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Oh, man.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, just check. Just check in. You won't know who it is.

[Mark]

Let me call him real quick.

[Johnny]

Buzz.

[Donnie]

You better not screen your number. Don't show it until he picks up. You don't want the number.

[Kyle]

Your call has been. I'll hit him again.

[Donnie]

Call him again.

[Titus]

Do you think he has your number?

[Mark]

No.

[Donnie]

Oh, he silenced you.

[Mark]

He's focusing.

[Donnie]

I'll call him and be like, why aren't you picking up Titus's call?

[Big Cat]

He looks really stressed.

[Kate]

He does.

[Donnie]

He silence his whole phone.

[Kyle]

Come on.

[Donnie]

Damn.

[Titus]

How could we send a notification to his laptop?

[Big Cat]

Is he just running through it real quick?

[Donnie]

How do you go through silence? Isn't there, like a way to go?

[Big Cat]

Like an emergency call or a back to back?

[Kate]

I know it's the angle, but his shoes look even tinier.

[Kyle]

That Rice shoe is tiny.

[Big Cat]

Minivans.

[Kate]

Minivans.

[Brandon]

He looked really small.

[Big Cat]

I could watch all day.

[Brandon]

Me, too.

[Kate]

I have no idea how he reinvented dreaming.

[Brandon]

There was a time, like, not too long ago where he's came to the conclusion that he's too normal for comedic content.

[Donnie]

Yes.

[Brandon]

I think he likes, like, told us. Yeah, I'm just gonna just try to be straightforward.

[Big Cat]

He was like when I. Oh, I.

[Kyle]

Just saw the big cat called.

[Mark]

I'll call him right now.

[Donnie]

Yeah, well, yeah, boys.

[Big Cat]

Holding it.

[Kyle]

Is he calling somebody?

[Donnie]

Hey, yo.

[Johnny]

Sorry. I wasn't trying to ignore you.

[Kyle]

I was.

[Johnny]

My phone was off.

[Donnie]

What the. I called you, dude.

[Mark]

I know.

[Johnny]

I'm making sure everything clicks the right way and the animations are synced, and then I'm coming in.

[Donnie]

All right, well, keep your phone on. Keep your phone on.

[Johnny]

It's always on.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Donnie]

Okay, bye.

[Big Cat]

What does he mean the animations are synced?

[Kate]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

Wait.

[Donnie]

Go away from this so you don't see. Oh, you're so far away. The animations do look sick.

[Big Cat]

They're all synced up.

[Titus]

Nice.

[Johnny]

Hello?

[Mark]

Donnie. What the hell?

[Johnny]

Oh, my God.

[Mark]

Donnie.

[Kate]

You said.

[Big Cat]

Genuinely doesn't like you.

[Brandon]

Coming in mad. All right, perfect.

[Donnie]

We got him warmed up.

[Mark]

Here we go.

[Donnie]

He is ready to go.

[Big Cat]

Say, since we're sponsored by Noble, he has to put on a pair.

[Donnie]

Oh, no.

[Big Cat]

Titus, offer him yours.

[Brandon]

Yeah, offer him yours.

[Mark]

You said 105. You said 105.

[Johnny]

What the.

[Mark]

Wait, where's he going? I thought he was coming in.

[Kate]

Seemed that way.

[Kyle]

I gotta go pee before we get him going.

[Donnie]

Yeah, you gotta lock in. You can't miss anything. And then we have do science when we come back from the super bowl.

[Big Cat]

The biggest show Barstool will ever do.

[Donnie]

The two science is going to be. I mean, that one he has to have ready to go at noon. Yeah, like, that's gonna be a whole.

[Big Cat]

He has a whole week.

[Donnie]

He has a whole day to.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Get unlimited money.

[Donnie]

Yeah, like that's getting a grant. We should see what the process is to actually, like, try to get a government grant.

[Big Cat]

I think every one of id. Every idea he has is naked in front of some sort of light source.

[Donnie]

Big time. Do Science. You look so whack, but also kind of cool. Like the two of us if we rolled up to a bar.

[Big Cat]

You guys look whack.

[Brandon]

I think we look sufficiently whack.

[Donnie]

We instantly ask, can we vape in here? I wish we had a vape. All right, here he comes.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

There he is.

[Johnny]

Hey. I'm mad, just like I said.

[Brandon]

Just like you said.

[Big Cat]

Oh, it's. We're sponsored by it.

[Donnie]

Noble.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Put them on.

[Johnny]

Wolves.

[Big Cat]

We can do an ad.

[Kyle]

What you talking about?

[Big Cat]

While you put those on, we don't even have to look at you.

[Brandon]

Oh, black.

[Big Cat]

Not bad at all.

[Titus]

I think they want you to, you know, wear them, not.

[Kyle]

Not hold them.

[Donnie]

Don't be so mad.

[Johnny]

You know, these aren't going to fit.

[Big Cat]

You can just put them on over those shoes you're wearing.

[Mark]

Yeah, you leave. You can leave. Put them up.

[Johnny]

They don't fit.

[Mark]

All right.

[Johnny]

Do we really need those? You want me to put those on?

[Donnie]

No, you're okay.

[Johnny]

All right.

[Donnie]

Okay. We're just having fun with the boys.

[Johnny]

I can tell. It's fun. It's always.

[Donnie]

Are you ready for this? I'm excited. It's a new way to dream. Yeah.

[Johnny]

Well, define like ready is the loose term.

[Donnie]

Do you need more time?

[Johnny]

No, no, no.

[Donnie]

So you're ready.

[Big Cat]

So what makes ready a loose term?

[Johnny]

Am I as ready as I could be? No. You know, but how much more ready could I get? Don't know.

[Donnie]

It's a good point.

[Johnny]

No idea.

[Big Cat]

How much more ready could you get?

[Johnny]

It'd be. It'd be like a. It's. No, it's now or never.

[Donnie]

Are you gonna be. So, obviously, this one was a little rushed.

[Johnny]

Yep.

[Donnie]

Do you know that Do Science is happening the week after the Super Bowl?

[Johnny]

Yes.

[Donnie]

Will you be ready for that?

[Johnny]

So Do Science is happening not next week, but the week after the Tuesday.

[Donnie]

After the Super Bowl.

[Johnny]

Perfect.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

That's.

[Donnie]

Okay, that's two. Science Day.

[Johnny]

That's ideal.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Have you been.

[Donnie]

You said that about this one, right? Every time I give you a date, you go, that's ideal.

[Johnny]

Yeah, but this one, I had a couple mishaps with this one.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Mark]

What happened?

[Donnie]

Well, the recording.

[Johnny]

The recording and the. Yeah. Dreams turned out to be. You know, you could talk forever about it.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Can I tell you, by the way, before. Thank you again.

[Johnny]

I swear to God, if you say about Mr. Beast, I get you're having fun with it, but I see that on my timeline, and it gets me pissed off.

[Donnie]

I'm beasting before bed every. Well, I tag you Every time.

[Johnny]

Yeah, that's why I see it. Just do that shit on your own side. Don't like. It's like, oh, no.

[Donnie]

I'm letting you know the minute I start beasting. Last night, Wisconsin are our alma mater.

[Johnny]

Which bad game against Minnesota?

[Donnie]

We won.

[Kyle]

It was a 50.

[Johnny]

50 guess, man.

[Donnie]

We came back from 20, we won. And what I say right after, I said, what a. What a comeback. Now I'm gonna reward myself with some beast. You do.

[Johnny]

It's your life, man.

[Donnie]

It's your hard fought win.

[Johnny]

Needed it.

[Donnie]

Now we beast before bed.

[Johnny]

God, man. It's like, I don't know. You could do that, do that. It's like a. You know the cool parents that let you drink in their basement?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Don't talk about it. Just do it without talking about it.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Kyle]

But fair.

[Donnie]

The. The glasses though. I actually have noticed. Help.

[Kyle]

Help.

[Donnie]

Because I've stopped taking unisom and I'm falling asleep.

[Johnny]

Okay. So we're on the right track. But I'm at. You'd sleep way better if you just cut the beast shit out and then.

[Donnie]

Yeah, that's me beasting.

[Johnny]

It's a. It's very entertaining. He does a good. He knows what he's doing.

[Brandon]

Is that amount of money money?

[Johnny]

Yeah, yeah, don't do it.

[Donnie]

Oh, man. Yeah, that's him on $5 million cash.

[Big Cat]

But like, how does it. When he tags you and the Beast, do you have to start watching Beast?

[Johnny]

No, I just get angry that he's doing it because it's. He knows he shouldn't be.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I know I shouldn't be.

[Mark]

But it's so good you want what's best for him.

[Johnny]

Them. Oh, I'm just trying to help. Yeah, I'm trying to help everyone sleep in this room.

[Big Cat]

Is there a YouTube content creator that you should watch before bed?

[Johnny]

I don't think so. I honestly just put the Hertz, put the sound on and then. Yeah.

[Donnie]

You know, I'm having vivid dreams though.

[Johnny]

Really?

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Well, so something's working.

[Donnie]

Yeah. So it might be the beast.

[Johnny]

We'll see what category they fall under.

[Donnie]

And the thing they don't tell you about beasts is once you watch one, you got to keep watching.

[Johnny]

That's what he does. Yeah, yeah, that's what I tell you.

[Donnie]

And I love it. I. I do think of you every time I beast before bed because there's. Right before the show starts, there's a warning. It's like strobe lights. If you like, you could have epileptic. Yeah, epileptic stuff. So it's like. Yeah.

[Johnny]

Imagine what that's doing if they have to warn you before you watch something how bad it is.

[Donnie]

That's what I like. It's dangerous.

[Brandon]

No.

[Mark]

Get your eyes nice and tired.

[Donnie]

Yeah, so much my brain gets real tired fried.

[Mark]

So should you.

[Brandon]

Do you beast in the morning to get an extra like a boost?

[Johnny]

No, Beast, it's like a Sunday afternoon.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Mark]

It's be Sunday afternoon only the weekends. Like when the weekend activity on the weekends.

[Johnny]

Well, not now.

[Kyle]

He's right.

[Donnie]

True.

[Kyle]

Okay. He's right. All right.

[Donnie]

Are we ready?

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Johnny]

Yeah. Ready to ever be.

[Big Cat]

And is this a PowerPoint or a Prezi?

[Johnny]

Of course it's a Prezi.

[Big Cat]

Oh.

[Johnny]

Spent all that money, dude. I'm going to use it.

[Donnie]

Yeah, we're gonna get everything out of Prezi.

[Johnny]

Yeah, for sure.

[Donnie]

Great.

[Johnny]

Tj, you're still. Am I still signed in in there? Yes, sir. Oh, yeah, no, I know.

[Donnie]

You're good.

[Johnny]

You're good. You saved my password. You logged in.

[Big Cat]

All right.

[Johnny]

But that. Okay, that's my password for everything.

[Kyle]

Right?

[Mark]

But you logged in also. TJ wouldn't have.

[Johnny]

Yeah, but how would you have say, how would you save it? That doesn't magically save. You have to click save. I don't know. I feel a little bit. Whatever.

[Donnie]

Violated.

[Johnny]

I won't use it, I promise.

[Mark]

He also wouldn't have known that was your password for everything. Unless you said that was your password for everything.

[Johnny]

You also didn't tell me your password. You logged in. I'm trying to listen to him.

[Kyle]

Come on, Mark.

[Titus]

Try putting them on.

[Johnny]

What's up, tj? You're good.

[Donnie]

Put them on.

[Kyle]

Put them on.

[Johnny]

Yeah, but I don't know, man. You don't need.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You just don't know.

[Kyle]

Yeah, there's really no way to know.

[Johnny]

All right, let's get it then.

[Donnie]

Let's get it.

[Big Cat]

Like, are you excited or reluctant?

[Brandon]

Is it a Chinese.

[Johnny]

I don't. The Chinese.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Johnny]

Touch. Okay. All right.

[Donnie]

Read this.

[Johnny]

Yeah. Exploring dreams and nightmares. And also the Chinese perspective on dreams. Open with a quote. If you've seen Willy Wonka, he sings a song and it's close to.

[Brandon]

What was it?

[Mark]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Is that a movie?

[Donnie]

What was it called?

[Johnny]

Yeah, you've seen the original. You were around for that. It's true dream. A dream of pure imagination.

[Donnie]

Okay. Okay.

[Mark]

Come with me.

[Brandon]

What is that?

[Mark]

And we'll see. The world is pure.

[Johnny]

That image is the cornea of an eye.

[Kyle]

Whoa.

[Johnny]

Wow. I believe.

[Mark]

Come with.

[Donnie]

And we're about to dive into that.

[Brandon]

What are the micro.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Johnny]

This one I thought I deleted.

[Kate]

You could do anything.

[Johnny]

Yeah, in China. This one I didn't think would actually mean it. But yeah. So in China, dreams were. This is more of a background on dreams. Chinese, they were big on dreams.

[Kyle]

Wait, Johnny, weren't dreams probably prevalent in every ancient civilization and every.

[Johnny]

Yeah, but I'm focused on the Chinese right now.

[Donnie]

Chinese invented dreams and you could do anything's.

[Johnny]

Again, this slide wasn't supposed to be in.

[Brandon]

So why did you want to delete the slide?

[Johnny]

It's because I didn't have the ch. Like we were.

[Brandon]

Whatever you wanted to do more.

[Mark]

What did. What did you search for that picture?

[Johnny]

Chinese dreams. That one was pretty straightforward there. So yeah, you know, so.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, pretty historically significant.

[Johnny]

Chinese. Okay, so next slide we'll kind of breeze through the. Do the Chinese dream the same. Now this is what's important.

[Kyle]

Why did this become just Chinese?

[Johnny]

Well, this is, this is. This is.

[Brandon]

This is a Chinese presentation. We're doing a Chinese beginning of it. So dream second Chinese.

[Johnny]

Next slide. Do the Chinese tree the same. Oh, Che's not here, but he's our resident, so I, you know. Next slide. It depends. Totally depends. It totally depends.

[Donnie]

What does it depend on?

[Johnny]

In theory, yes, they dream the thing. But they're much like the Native Americans where they hold a higher value on dreams in society. Okay, yes and no. And they dream in Chinese, I presume, or.

[Brandon]

Man, they dream in Chinese.

[Big Cat]

Do the Chinese dream in Chinese?

[Mark]

You don't think they dream in English.

[Johnny]

Brother, I don't think so.

[Big Cat]

Man.

[Johnny]

There's there.

[Brandon]

It's not. Probably not.

[Johnny]

It depends if they speak both languages potentially, but it depends. But we're gonna go for this the all tense of purposes, we'll say yes, the Chinese do dream the same as us.

[Donnie]

So that was our conclusion.

[Big Cat]

So that was a big fight.

[Johnny]

So that. So now we've moved past the check, we can now. Next slide.

[Donnie]

So we wait.

[Brandon]

That'S it.

[Donnie]

So we going into this, I think a lot of us were like Chinese dreams. What's up with that?

[Johnny]

Yep.

[Donnie]

And now we're good.

[Big Cat]

We solved it in the first slide.

[Johnny]

Yeah, that was the.

[Donnie]

Yeah, but solving it was also. It depends.

[Johnny]

Right, so it's inconclusive. Right.

[Titus]

So like it depends on if they know English.

[Donnie]

The age old question. Do Chinese dream the six.

[Kyle]

When did China get introduced to this at all?

[Johnny]

China was on my brain. So it's what we know.

[Titus]

Oh, the Chinese girl.

[Donnie]

Do you.

[Johnny]

Nope, not that.

[Mark]

Dreaming about the Danny girl.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Connecting the dots here.

[Johnny]

Don't connect dots. That's not for you to do. You.

[Kate]

But.

[Donnie]

But if someone were to connect the dots.

[Big Cat]

Bed Chinese.

[Donnie]

You.

[Kyle]

You.

[Donnie]

You. You met a Chinese girl, huh?

[Johnny]

Turns out she's not Chinese, but doesn't matter.

[Donnie]

What is she?

[Johnny]

Don't want to ask. I'm afraid to ask, but.

[Big Cat]

But how do you know she's not Chinese?

[Johnny]

Tried asking Chat gbt. Didn't. Didn't want.

[Kyle]

Wait, did you send a picture of.

[Brandon]

Her to chat GBCs?

[Johnny]

It says it can't do that. And then I conclude.

[Brandon]

But it said not Chinese.

[Johnny]

It said we.

[Donnie]

Great question.

[Johnny]

You. But. And I looked at other. I cross reference and I go. It's whatever, dude. That's. What did you cross reference images of Asia. All Asians.

[Big Cat]

So what were. What were your findings?

[Johnny]

I don't. This. It's gonna.

[Mark]

What was she closest.

[Johnny]

This is not what this presentation is about.

[Big Cat]

You made it about China.

[Johnny]

I know, but now we're moving. Can we move back to the dreams?

[Kyle]

Yep. Okay.

[Brandon]

That's interesting too.

[Johnny]

This is becoming a nightmare, and I don't want that.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Johnny]

Okay. Depends. Next slide.

[Donnie]

Every slide is okay.

[Johnny]

Click, click, click in again. Moving on. Thank God. Moving on. Now that we understand the Chinese, we can understand.

[Kyle]

I don't think we understand the Chinese yet.

[Big Cat]

I do.

[Mark]

Switch.

[Johnny]

Again, surprising others first. Much money is this thing cost? You think they'd have the squiggly lines under things. They don't.

[Donnie]

You're right. Wait, we do. We understand for all.

[Johnny]

For the purpose of this. We understand.

[Donnie]

Okay, then it depends.

[Kyle]

It's like when we figured out the Chinese in one slide.

[Donnie]

Yeah, and what were we supposed to switch the pictures out from the Chinese to the other?

[Johnny]

Yeah. Those guys are Chinese. Yeah, they're not going to be Chinese. Moving forward.

[Kyle]

Oh.

[Mark]

Last Chinese will code.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

So China. We're closing the book on China for now. Oh, teaser circle back.

[Titus]

Action.

[Donnie]

Oh, no.

[Johnny]

For this president, there's no more Chinese.

[Donnie]

No more Chinese. All right, so if you're Chinese, you can just turn off this presentation.

[Johnny]

Well, they might still be interested in.

[Kyle]

Yeah, we don't want to lose a billion people.

[Big Cat]

That's a big audience.

[Donnie]

I. I should have said. If you are solely interested in Chinese dreaming, you can turn this off.

[Mark]

Well, you already know everything you need to know.

[Big Cat]

It depends.

[Johnny]

Yes, they also sleep on their bed. They sleep on like a bed like this. This might. That might affect dreams.

[Brandon]

A bed like this.

[Johnny]

Yeah, they basically sleep on the floor, which probably better for you, but that's another project.

[Donnie]

Okay. See that project.

[Johnny]

Next slide. Okay.

[Brandon]

Did you. Did you manipulate the photo?

[Johnny]

No, that's just straight up. I stretched it out. You stretched it out to fit the screen. I just copy paste, stretch.

[Brandon]

Okay. But moving on.

[Johnny]

Oh, he looks Chinese.

[Brandon]

Stretched it out.

[Kyle]

I didn't know that you.

[Johnny]

Trust me, I didn't see it on the big screen. I had no idea.

[Brandon]

Chinafied.

[Johnny]

Mlk.

[Donnie]

No, Dude, I think that I wish Jay was here so he could tell us how to say his middle name.

[Johnny]

That's recency bias. That's got to be recency bias because you just saw a Chinese person, so now you're thinking everyone looks Chinese, so. No, I didn't.

[Mark]

You did not make him look more Chinese.

[Johnny]

No, I didn't.

[Donnie]

I swear. But you agree he does look more.

[Johnny]

Probably. That's pretty sure. It's illegal. You can't. Historical figures. You can't do to.

[Donnie]

That is. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

They killed him.

[Johnny]

Well, the CIA killed them, right?

[Donnie]

They did something to him.

[Johnny]

Yeah. I mean, that's a rabbit hole. I might have mentioned that. I don't think I talked about the CIA too much. Okay, so people might see this picture and go, that's a famous dreamer. I have a dream. Okay, let's see the next slide. But was it really a dream? Are you talking specifically about was it a dream? Actually? Was. Was that. And let's find out. No. So I'm going to define a dream. So while an innovator and while a great message, not a technical dream in the sense that we are defining in this presentation.

[Mark]

What dream are you speaking of?

[Johnny]

You have to be asleep. He wasn't sleeping.

[Mark]

What are you talking about?

[Johnny]

I looked it up.

[Mark]

I asked what was his dream dream for?

[Johnny]

I mean, it's an amazing dream.

[Mark]

No, what specific. Like when we're dream that you're referencing of his. What are you talking about?

[Johnny]

His. His historic dream. His. His dream of civil rights.

[Donnie]

Yep.

[Johnny]

And then end all wars. And he was an innovator, but not a dreamer. He's a. He was not a literal. Not in my sense. Okay. So I don't want to take anything away from his dream.

[Big Cat]

Was he a dreamer?

[Kyle]

So when he was given the speech, he was awake.

[Johnny]

He just came up. The idea is he used his dream as a metaphor and I don't.

[Mark]

You don't believe.

[Johnny]

I don't believe in metaphors for this definition of dream.

[Donnie]

So you're. What we're. Well, actually Martin Luther King's I have a dream speech.

[Johnny]

I don't know what that means. As long as it's not bad, then.

[Mark]

Yeah, it should be. I have a thought.

[Johnny]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Mark]

Yeah, his speech. I have a thought.

[Johnny]

Perfect. Yes.

[Kyle]

But, you know, I have an idea.

[Mark]

I have an idea.

[Brandon]

It's an aspiration. That's great.

[Mark]

I have an ass.

[Stephen Shea]

What?

[Donnie]

Would you guys think about this?

[Johnny]

Yes, but hear me out.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

We're not taking anything away from the dream.

[Donnie]

Wouldn't it be cool?

[Johnny]

Yes. Okay, so now we've defined dream. Dream by my definition, and this is my definition. Got to be asleep.

[Brandon]

But what's the definition?

[Big Cat]

That's not the definition of dream.

[Johnny]

What's your definition?

[Brandon]

What's your definition of dream? Start now.

[Johnny]

Sleep. Thoughts during sleep that you don't know what they're gonna be.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Mark]

What if.

[Big Cat]

Pretty good.

[Mark]

What if he was asleep?

[Johnny]

He wasn't. I looked it up.

[Mark]

He was.

[Johnny]

I googled, was his dream real? And most of everything I found. No, it wasn't.

[Donnie]

It was a thought.

[Johnny]

He wasn't asleep. All right, that's. We're spending too much time on it. I'm just. The definition of a dream. Should be a quick slide that you get through.

[Kyle]

I apologize for them, Donnie.

[Johnny]

Okay, next slide, please.

[Donnie]

Are we done with Chinese Martin Luther King?

[Kyle]

Oh.

[Johnny]

CIA.

[Kyle]

Wait a minute. But if it wasn't a dream.

[Johnny]

Yeah, but they're anti dream of MK Ultra. They're doing other shit, so this is more anti dream. And they also made him do bad things. And, you know, I don't.

[Mark]

What.

[Johnny]

They try to disparage him CIA Bad.

[Mark]

But he's not a.

[Johnny]

Again. All right, that might have gone counter to what I just said, but doesn't matter. We're moving on.

[Kyle]

All right. Moving on.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Kyle]

See you, Chinese Martin Luther King.

[Donnie]

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[Johnny]

Okay. Another dreamer. Was he dreaming? Next slide. No, but we're getting closer. Okay.

[Mark]

We're.

[Johnny]

Okay. Steve. Steve Jobs will come back into this.

[Brandon]

Why are we getting closer?

[Mark]

How are we getting closer?

[Johnny]

Because we're get. Because he invented it. I guess I'll just say it now. He would do a. And I'm gonna mispronounce the word, so it's hypna. Something Hypnotherapy? No, it's like he invented his own stage of wakefulness that he was half asleep, half awake, and that's when he got all his ideas.

[Donnie]

Who did that?

[Johnny]

Steve Jobs.

[Donnie]

Ah.

[Johnny]

Another cancer. Another Steve.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

But you.

[Donnie]

There's a relatability thing for you.

[Titus]

You said you have to be fully asleep, right?

[Johnny]

So I said that's why I said no. Oh, we're close.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

He was halfway.

[Kyle]

Explains it.

[Johnny]

Okay.

[Donnie]

Hippo.

[Mark]

What?

[Brandon]

Yeah, what is it?

[Johnny]

Something hypno. Hip. Hippo. Something.

[Donnie]

Hippocratic Oath.

[Johnny]

H, Y, N, G was all, oh.

[Brandon]

We'Re doing Chinese again.

[Johnny]

I don't know what that is, but sure. All right, we'll go to the next slide. I told you this one it was. You know, I don't have everything in here. Okay, now that we've defined dreams, we can. Okay, this is my research port. So now we're. That was all backstory, I guess. Backfill.

[Donnie]

Alright, so what we've learned so far, just to sum it up. Martin Luther King. Not a dreamer. Steve Jobs. Half. No.

[Brandon]

Yep.

[Donnie]

Chinese? We don't know.

[Mark]

It depends.

[Big Cat]

Chinese depends.

[Johnny]

Chinese depends.

[Donnie]

That's good.

[Johnny]

We're good.

[Big Cat]

It's good to know.

[Titus]

I've never been more confused about dreams.

[Mark]

Now that we define. But you kind of have just defined what's not a dream.

[Big Cat]

So the three categories of dream are awake, half and Chinese.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

No, no, no. Those. Those are.

[Brandon]

Do what?

[Johnny]

I don't know. No, no. These are my categories of dreams now that I was researching.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Donnie]

I've identified Floyd again.

[Johnny]

Guys, you guys made me do this with an hour to spare.

[Donnie]

Now that's not true. That's not true or to spare. I told you a week ago.

[Johnny]

Okay, well, that's on. Yeah.

[Donnie]

Agree to disagree. Okay, now that we've defined dreams, you can discuss the types of dreams. My research.

[Johnny]

My research. Okay.

[Donnie]

Based on my research, I've identified. Identify categories of dreams.

[Johnny]

Three. Three categories or three types? Okay. The classic. The first two you'll know. Dreamer. Standard standard. Nighttime dream. Beautiful. It's a beautiful.

[Donnie]

What's this movie that I've.

[Johnny]

That's about a horse. It's. What's his name? Kent something. Fucking Herbert Russell. Yeah. Kurt Russell.

[Kyle]

Your first type of dream is dreamer.

[Johnny]

That's like the dream of just a nice time.

[Kyle]

Basic standard dream.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Titus]

Okay.

[Johnny]

You wake up, you're. Well. Holy. That was.

[Donnie]

Is that movie about a dreamer?

[Johnny]

I haven't seen it.

[Kyle]

The horse name Dreamer.

[Big Cat]

I think it's a horse name.

[Mark]

The horse's name Dreamer.

[Johnny]

To be Honest, I haven't seen it.

[Mark]

Okay, first type of dreams.

[Johnny]

That would just look like a lovely, encompassing way to show a dream.

[Donnie]

Got it.

[Johnny]

Second type of dream. You guys should know this one nightmare.

[Donnie]

We saw. You want to pay off. We're doing a little spooked.

[Mark]

We.

[Johnny]

We.

[Donnie]

We were looking at you, and we.

[Stephen Shea]

Spooked.

[Kyle]

Spooked.

[Mark]

You spooked?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Yes, it is.

[Brandon]

You mean.

[Donnie]

No.

[Johnny]

What do you call spy? A spook?

[Kyle]

Snoop.

[Johnny]

No. Yes, you do.

[Kate]

No, Don't.

[Titus]

Stop saying it.

[Donnie]

No, you can't.

[Johnny]

Is it a bad word?

[Kyle]

All right, let's move on.

[Donnie]

We've. We've left the Chinese portion of it.

[Kyle]

Right? We're fine.

[Donnie]

A ghost.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

A spy.

[Kyle]

A spy. Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Sorry, D. Okay.

[Donnie]

My apologies.

[Brandon]

Sorry, dad.

[Donnie]

My apologies. We spooked you.

[Johnny]

So I was right. God damn, I know a lot about the CIA.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you do.

[Donnie]

Wait, okay, what was the last one? Not good?

[Kate]

No.

[Johnny]

All right, well, cut it there. That's. I meant it in the right way.

[Kate]

It's live.

[Johnny]

Tony, cut it.

[Brandon]

Cut it there.

[Donnie]

All right, so, yeah, we were looking at you, and we saw you had a phone out with Titus's picture. We're like, how's this gonna work? Work?

[Johnny]

Can't. Spy, man. That's.

[Kyle]

That's right. I didn't know.

[Johnny]

I wasn't comfortable with it. Whose idea was it?

[Donnie]

It was Titus's idea.

[Mark]

I said to them, let's. Let's. Why don't we look at him and see if he's got a picture of me? And I'll be God damned. You did.

[Big Cat]

Why'd you choose that picture?

[Johnny]

Because I wanted a picture of a nightmare.

[Donnie]

And that's it? Yeah.

[Johnny]

It was either just gonna be his face, and I was like, how can we make it even scarier? And then I put devil horns on it.

[Donnie]

That looks good.

[Kyle]

That's a good one.

[Donnie]

Yeah, you did a good job.

[Johnny]

There's a lot of weird pictures of you on Google. You know that?

[Mark]

Yeah, I do.

[Titus]

Just added another.

[Donnie]

Okay. Nightmare.

[Mark]

I would love. I would love for that to show up now. Yeah. Can you get that in the rotation?

[Johnny]

Above my understanding of it, but TJ might. Okay, so we have dreams and nightmares. Pretty standard. The third category, which this might be my own. This. These were. These are what most of my dreams fell under, so. Next slide. So dreamy nightmares. What I call this, and you might ask that.

[Mark]

Is that Francis Ferdinand.

[Johnny]

That's Joseph Stalin.

[Donnie]

Joseph Stalin. Oh, we knew you were looking up Joseph Stalin.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

But had a hair. Yeah. Why do.

[Mark]

Why do we both.

[Donnie]

I Don't know. I don't know.

[Johnny]

Same category.

[Mark]

Why would we both think that?

[Donnie]

Can we see France Ferdinand real quick? Joseph Stalin was a looker.

[Johnny]

Yeah, it was a hot guy, Right.

[Big Cat]

Now why? He's a dream. And nightmare.

[Johnny]

Dreamy nightmare.

[Donnie]

Hey, we were way off. Why do we think that?

[Mark]

We both thought that?

[Kyle]

Damn.

[Johnny]

Because old.

[Donnie]

Oh, wait, no. Who's the guy who killed him?

[Mark]

Oh, that was Gavrila Princep.

[Donnie]

Search him.

[Kyle]

It was a younger, narrower guy.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Ah.

[Mark]

Still not.

[Big Cat]

Still not.

[Donnie]

No, not even close. That's really weird, sir.

[Johnny]

That guy started World War I. Yeah, yeah. Kind of impressive.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Where were we? Okay, so you have dreams, you have nightmares, and you have something in between.

[Mark]

Wait, wait, Stalin's in between me and the Kurt Russell movie?

[Donnie]

Yes.

[Johnny]

Yeah, yeah. Well, young Stalin, this is purely off looks because he's a hot guy in that picture, but he was a fucking nightmare.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Johnny]

Bad guy. It's a literal dreamy nightmare.

[Brandon]

So the majority of your dreams have been under this category?

[Johnny]

Yeah, I'm not really sure why or what's going on, so.

[Brandon]

So what? Can you explain that?

[Johnny]

Well, next slide. Oh, and just in case that one didn't show up bright enough, I wanted to do it. So we have a couple of times.

[Mark]

A couple of versions.

[Johnny]

Okay, next slide. Okay, so my dreams, these are all dreamy nightmares. And this is. We can kind of breeze through this one.

[Donnie]

Weird boy. Wait, read that. I thought dreams were just what was in my brain before bed, but the last one threw me off. No conclusion. Need more time.

[Johnny]

Yeah, maybe so.

[Donnie]

Whoa. Okay, go through them. Let's hear about.

[Mark]

Right.

[Johnny]

Okay, so these are all dreamy nightmares. Because they're like, you know, on paper, it was like, these are all great things I like to do. But something was wrong every time. Ski dream, dream that I actually slept through the entire day. Didn't get to ski.

[Titus]

You.

[Big Cat]

You dreamt that you slept?

[Johnny]

Yeah. So it's weird. It's a. That's a weird one.

[Kyle]

I do.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I miss class all the time.

[Johnny]

Okay, that's cool. You're still going to school.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Donnie]

Why? Well, it's a dream.

[Johnny]

Cooking dream, same thing. You know, I. You know, these aren't really important. They're just standard dreams. No.

[Mark]

What happens on the cooking?

[Johnny]

Spoke the wrong. It was in French and I spoke, though I used the wrong word and everyone laughed. It's like a kind of a classic thing.

[Kyle]

What was the word?

[Johnny]

Who. I said konak instead of kana.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

What does the wrong word mean?

[Johnny]

One means duck. One means I was trying to.

[Mark]

Oh, no. Who left who? When you say everyone, like the rest.

[Johnny]

Of the cooks in the room.

[Mark]

All the cooks in the room.

[Johnny]

But again, these dreams. Talking about dreams is like, you. You know, who cares? It doesn't matter. The last one was interesting. Last one. So I thought these were just what I was thinking about before.

[Brandon]

I want to know what all of them.

[Johnny]

Concert dream. So it should have been really cool. It was like I. I found my way into a private Billy String show. It was like 10 people.

[Donnie]

But Hank, there's.

[Johnny]

To be honest, no, he wasn't.

[Donnie]

And he's gonna be pissed about.

[Johnny]

Yeah, yeah. Well, you can't control it. But it was an endless loop of not being able to get into the room. So it was like a different room that you'd open, door would open, and it would be an empty concert concert hall. So I never actually saw the show, but I had the idea of going.

[Donnie]

So Hank might have been there.

[Johnny]

Might have been.

[Donnie]

Might have been.

[Johnny]

Actually might have been to the right one.

[Donnie]

Yeah. What's the other one? You could sleep paralysis.

[Johnny]

Yeah. So sleep. So, interestingly enough, I don't get it in the standard. I've only had sleep paralysis.

[Kate]

This.

[Johnny]

This is three times. And it's only ever been in this apartment that I'm currently living in. And I know the st. So I don't know if I even call it sleep paralysis, because it's the same thing every time. But it's not a demon standing above my bed. Believe it or not, I. I. It's. I. My roommate's trying to get into my room. Every time that happens to me, and I. I can't get out of my bed, I go, peter, what are you doing? Get out of here. What are you doing? What are you doing?

[Donnie]

I have it with my kids are getting into my room.

[Johnny]

Okay, so you.

[Donnie]

I can't. I can't wake up.

[Johnny]

Is odd, isn't it?

[Donnie]

Yeah, it's the worst feeling.

[Johnny]

It's so I. It's a form.

[Donnie]

Wake up. And you're like, holy. Right?

[Johnny]

So it's got to be a form of sleep paralysis, because it's. But it's only ever been with my roommate. It's kind of. It's odd, but it feels like the door's opening and you're just standing.

[Donnie]

Your brain is, like, trying to wake up, but it cannot wait.

[Johnny]

Very frustrating.

[Big Cat]

Why would rotten eater be trying to get to your room?

[Brandon]

Good.

[Donnie]

No.

[Johnny]

Who knows? I have a theory that he sleeps in my bed when I'm not there. But I Don't know.

[Brandon]

Yeah. What's that theory based on?

[Johnny]

Wouldn't put it past him. I don't know.

[Brandon]

So why is sleep paralysis categorically in the dreamy nightmare that just happened?

[Johnny]

I just had to include it. That doesn't. You're right. That doesn't fit.

[Mark]

And you. Does anyone else in the room have that?

[Johnny]

Dan?

[Kate]

It's happened to me before and it was like just the twice. It's so worse. It's one of the scariest experiences I've ever had.

[Brandon]

Red light, guys.

[Mark]

Red light, guys.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I had it before that.

[Johnny]

Yeah, same.

[Donnie]

Well, no, not same, but actually also not same. I had it when I started wearing them.

[Johnny]

No, you didn't. Don't. Yeah, Maybe it's the Beast. Then just blame it on the Beast.

[Kyle]

Blame it on the Beast.

[Johnny]

Blame it on the Beast.

[Donnie]

Do some science on that.

[Johnny]

Okay. And then the weird boyish dream is.

[Mark]

Che.

[Johnny]

Che. So Che was in my dream. And this one makes no sense. The other ones, I thought this was just what I was thinking about in my day. Just carried on in the night, wasn't ever thinking about Che. And we were pool hopping as teenagers together.

[Titus]

A wet dream with Che.

[Johnny]

So it doesn't make any sense. And I really don't know. I was hesitant to even put that on there. But what kind of scientist would I be to. Lost lie? Yeah, it was odd. It was. And we were sitting in a very. We were. You know, you're. When you're a boy and you sit in your stomach and you kick your feet. Yeah, we were doing that.

[Brandon]

Is it on your stomach?

[Johnny]

You lie on your stomach and you kick your. You kick your feet in the air.

[Brandon]

That's more of like a baby on your boys.

[Donnie]

On your show.

[Brandon]

I can't.

[Johnny]

Don't make me do that.

[Donnie]

Show us.

[Mark]

On your back is what you.

[Johnny]

Show us.

[Kyle]

Your feet are sticking up.

[Donnie]

Show us what you're doing.

[Big Cat]

We were.

[Mark]

You're thinking of your bag.

[Johnny]

Quick, turn the camera somewhere else.

[Kyle]

Oh, you don't want. They turned it.

[Johnny]

That's.

[Brandon]

Is that boyish?

[Johnny]

I think that's pretty boyish.

[Donnie]

Little boyish.

[Brandon]

I felt girlish do that after Little League.

[Johnny]

It's boyish.

[Kyle]

It felt girlish.

[Mark]

When. When would you do this?

[Johnny]

In my dream.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Johnny]

I. It's not something I did in real life. It's something I did. It's in my dream.

[Donnie]

Donnie, can we just do a sidebar? I'm sorry about Mark.

[Johnny]

Oh, can we make him sit in the hole?

[Kyle]

All right.

[Brandon]

Mark, it.

[Kyle]

It's not the Worst idea.

[Mark]

But, yeah, I'm trying to learn, Dottie.

[Johnny]

You're not.

[Big Cat]

I know you.

[Johnny]

That's the biggest lie. That's the.

[Mark]

That's.

[Brandon]

That's the.

[Johnny]

You're not trying to learn.

[Titus]

Mark's about to be your new sleep paralysis demon.

[Donnie]

All right, so let's get back to it. Sleep aroused then. Do you see? You had a Che.

[Kyle]

Mark, dial it back a notch. Okay.

[Donnie]

Yeah, so I got him done.

[Johnny]

Che. So again, this. This slide again. I don't think this really matters because, you know, everyone has weird dreams, so it's. You know, if you. If I pulled 10 people, and they would all probably have something similar.

[Kyle]

A boyish Che dream.

[Johnny]

That's what that was. The one outlier.

[Mark]

So you and Shay were both on your bellies, kicking feet and pool hopping, which is. Pool hopping is.

[Johnny]

We were on my childhood deck. My. Where I grew up. Che. And I don't know why. Side by side. And then we went to the neighbors and pool hopped.

[Mark]

And you jumped in their pool.

[Kyle]

I was like. You jumped in there and then you get.

[Mark]

And then you get out and go to the next neighbor. Is that how that works?

[Johnny]

Yeah, exactly.

[Mark]

And you just keep jumping in pools around the neighborhood.

[Kyle]

That sounds awesome.

[Johnny]

It was a good dream.

[Mark]

Are you guys, like, laughing as you do it? Like, pushing each other as you run to the flashing?

[Johnny]

I see again, like, you know, because I didn't. Dreams fade so fast while I'm trying to work, so the details by this point have escaped me.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

But the concept was Jay and I on a deck. Pool hopping.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Okay. It's a good concept.

[Johnny]

I guess. Next slide, I guess. All right, so. Yeah. So how do I do my dreams? How do I dream like hell? Do you guys want to know?

[Donnie]

Yeah. This is how we're reinventing dreaming, right?

[Johnny]

This is the reinventing dream that we're at the. We're at the point of. Point of it, I guess. Next slide, please.

[Kyle]

What?

[Johnny]

Oh, no. It zooms in, I think.

[Kyle]

Okay. All right. All right.

[Johnny]

How do I dream like hell? Let's find out. Wouldn't you like to know?

[Brandon]

Mark.

[Johnny]

I don't even want to tell you anymore, actually.

[Mark]

You want me to. You want me to leave?

[Johnny]

No, you can hear, but minimal interaction would be great. All right, so I found a sweet spot. Okay. So this is actually where it gets interesting.

[Donnie]

I. I know this has all been interesting, just so you know.

[Johnny]

Well, I appreciate it, but this, for me, personally, as a researcher, this is where I got interested.

[Kyle]

About to ramp up.

[Johnny]

Well, don't hype. Don't okay, sorry.

[Kyle]

You, Brandon, but you.

[Mark]

Brandon.

[Brandon]

Brandon, come on.

[Johnny]

Okay, you made me lose my thought now.

[Kyle]

My bad.

[Donnie]

God damn it.

[Kyle]

Oh.

[Johnny]

Okay. So what do I. What do I. What did I find so you people might notice this? I found that my. The most vivid dreams always happened when I woke up around 4am and went back to sleep. That stretch between 4am and wait, it was. So I said, what the hell? Why is this?

[Donnie]

I agree with you on that.

[Johnny]

So I tested it and I. I set an alarm. I set an alarm for 2am, 3am, 4am every night. I was trying to disrupt my sleep to find the. Right.

[Kyle]

The.

[Johnny]

This. The zone.

[Donnie]

This sounds like hell.

[Big Cat]

The sweet spot.

[Kyle]

Yeah. The worst idea possible.

[Johnny]

Yeah, well, science isn't for everyone.

[Donnie]

That's a fact.

[Brandon]

Yeah, buddy.

[Stephen Shea]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

We all would be scientists.

[Johnny]

So. Yeah. So every night I was disrupting my sleep trying to figure out what's what. And some nights, like the earlier. The earlier didn't work. The sweet spot was 4am or 5am Yep. And I'd wake up and I'd have to stay awake for 20 minutes. I found. Oh, 20 minutes of not. Not touch your phone. But just sitting there for 20 minutes. Because what I think was happening is your brain starts going nuts again. Starts thinking, and then it. But your body says, I'm still. I'm not ready for this. I'm still tired, so let's shut it down. So your body gets shut down again, but your brain still is. You know, you turn that thing on. So that's why you have vivid dreams.

[Donnie]

Damn. Because that actually happens to me. I. My. I would say my most vivid dreams are within the first like 40 minutes of falling asleep. And then what you just said, I'll wake up. Most nights I'll wake up like four or five, then fall back.

[Johnny]

Right. So the method, my method is if we could come find some device or some way to wake you up. 4:00am to make you dream is like what I want to invent.

[Titus]

Like an alarm.

[Johnny]

No, because that's too harsh. That's too. It has to be like heptic, haptic, Heptic feedback. Subtly wake you up, slowly vibrate you or something. Just enough to. But your brain wakes up but your body doesn't. Would be ideal.

[Donnie]

I have a way.

[Johnny]

Wow.

[Donnie]

You move like an hour and a half away from your office and then you have to wake up at 4am every morning to be. Beat the traffic.

[Johnny]

Does that work for you?

[Kyle]

My deepest sleep happens after I get here. Yes.

[Johnny]

See? Okay.

[Big Cat]

Wow.

[Kyle]

Right into deep sleep. The longer you sleep, the closer you get to REM sleep.

[Donnie]

Would you be interested in.

[Johnny]

In doing something like that, moving an hour away? I could spend the week at his.

[Donnie]

House for you that you purchase.

[Mark]

Stay at Brandon's.

[Titus]

There's one condition.

[Kyle]

I didn't invite you.

[Johnny]

No, I didn't.

[Donnie]

We have a house that's about to be empty. You might have to deal with some guinea pigs, but other than that, it's in pristine condition.

[Kyle]

How do you do with guinea pigs? Yeah, that's how everybody.

[Donnie]

That's. That's the most common guinea pig.

[Big Cat]

How many could you handle?

[Johnny]

Oh, a fleet of them.

[Kyle]

Oh, well, I got.

[Johnny]

That's fine.

[Kyle]

14.

[Johnny]

Once you have one, you might as well have 10. Yeah, guinea pigs and lizards are the same in that category.

[Donnie]

Agreed.

[Johnny]

But if you're offering it, I would take a guinea pig, but I won't necessarily want one.

[Brandon]

That's what I said.

[Donnie]

That's the perfect guinea pig answer.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Johnny]

Actually, no, I don't want it.

[Kyle]

Well, you've already committed.

[Donnie]

Now that's the perfect guinea pig.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

When someone says, do you want a guinea pig? You're like, maybe. And then it takes you a second. You're like, no, absolutely not.

[Mark]

Now, Donnie, when you're saying you wake up, you go back to sleep, that gives you the best dreams. Does it give you the best rest, though? Because part of what your whole Matt situation was, was saying you got to get the best rest. So is this counter to. Yeah, it's.

[Johnny]

Counter. Yeah.

[Mark]

Counter.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Okay, so that's science, but that's science. You might have to pick one or the other. You might have to prioritize rest or dreams.

[Johnny]

That's. Well, that's like the grand unifying theory. What do you. What is that trying to do? What's. What we're trying to do here? Yeah, grand unifying theory. If you're not familiar, it's. How much time do you have?

[Brandon]

Enough.

[Kyle]

Probably enough time to hear simple definition.

[Big Cat]

What is it.

[Titus]

It.

[Johnny]

The grand unifying theory.

[Big Cat]

Okay. Okay.

[Mark]

I could hear a quick summary for sure.

[Kyle]

One sentence on it would be fine.

[Johnny]

It's.

[Brandon]

Then it's the grand unifying theory.

[Johnny]

It's unifying. I'm pretty sure it's unifying relativity and quantum mechanics. Yeah, okay, right. You're laughing, but I'm pretty sure that's right.

[Big Cat]

I have no idea. I've never heard of this.

[Johnny]

I'm pretty. Yeah, grand unifying theories. You unify quantum mechanics, and theoretically, Einstein could never get around to understanding quantum mechanics. Spooky action at a distance, feared, like, threw him off and he just refused to believe it. But. So they. Which they haven't figured out. I'm pretty sure Hawking before he. He's dead, right? Yeah, before he died, he was trying to unify. That's why the movie's called the. The Theory of Everything. Boom. Knew I had it.

[Brandon]

So. Yeah. Okay, good explanation.

[Mark]

So. And then that. And that answered this. The sleeping and the.

[Johnny]

Well, that. Yeah, I'm sure. I'm basically Stephen Hawking and flying sleep.

[Mark]

Okay. Perfectly.

[Donnie]

Pedophile part.

[Johnny]

He's a.

[Big Cat]

He was. Little St. James.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Well, move on. Let's move on.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

That hit you pretty heavily.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Damn. That really. You think you know, guy and then he does that.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You don't.

[Johnny]

All right, next spot. Okay. Oh, this one I really wasn't sure I wanted to use. But I mean, it can't get worse for me. Right? It's.

[Mark]

Who.

[Kyle]

What.

[Titus]

What.

[Kyle]

What does it mean?

[Johnny]

Well, okay.

[Mark]

Who is. What is.

[Johnny]

So there's another way to. There's another way to dream. And it's. This is. Okay, so this is getting back to Steve Jobs. So he's basically in a hypno. Hypnosis. In a hypnotonic state. Hypnotic state. Yeah. So what you're seeing is a picture here. This is my. I had a personal hypnotist for a while when I lived in New York.

[Brandon]

Come on.

[Donnie]

A personal hypnotist?

[Johnny]

I would see a hypnotist.

[Kate]

That's your personal hypnotist?

[Johnny]

That's Jeffrey Rose? Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Okay. You would go to a hypnotist.

[Donnie]

Why didn't you tell us?

[Johnny]

Well, it's never come up. And it's not something I like to. I don't bring it up at a whim. But I've already had studded this belt, so he might as well talk about him.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you're right.

[Donnie]

How often did you see him?

[Johnny]

For a little bit, like probably twice a month. And then I saw him a couple phone. I did a couple phone ones, which I think was a scam. He could have been a charlatan. Nice. But he's a nice guy, so I kept going back.

[Brandon]

But he was hypnotizing you.

[Johnny]

He was hypnotizing me regularly.

[Big Cat]

What was it? What was. Right.

[Johnny]

Yeah, like twice a month or, you know.

[Big Cat]

How did you find this man?

[Johnny]

I actually don't know. It's. I probably have four or five years ago now. It was a while ago, but he had a nice place, Upper west side. His office was just a chair in him. But he would do what?

[Brandon]

Just a chair and what else?

[Johnny]

Just his chair. My chair, or his hypnotist chair. But he would induce dreams. He could induce dreams.

[Donnie]

And how much did you pay him?

[Johnny]

That's where it's. That's where he might have been a charlatan.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Johnny]

It was 250 a session.

[Donnie]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

And what was your goal going in?

[Johnny]

Just. I thought it would help iron things out. I. Yeah. And then he could put me on these pills he gave me.

[Brandon]

This was your doctor, Donnie?

[Johnny]

No, no, no, he didn't prescribe. It was a pill you could only get in Norway.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Johnny]

And it was.

[Mark]

He's got a Wikipedia.

[Johnny]

Yeah, he's asleep. Oh, so he is a sleep specialist.

[Donnie]

And he gave you pills. What did the pills do?

[Johnny]

They were a fish oil that he had developed. He got them from a conference he would go to, like a convention, almost.

[Brandon]

Naturally. At a conference?

[Johnny]

Well, yeah. Yes. He found.

[Brandon]

He extracted them from.

[Johnny]

But he. He called them like, Sir Sarah Bella Film. I've tried to find it. It doesn't exist anymore. But he said keep. He said, keep one in your car, keep one in your backpack, keep a bottle in your nightstand. And basically every. Every, like, waking moment, every couple hours, you should be taking this pill. And I was like, all right. He's like, it'll increase brain power like, tenfold. It was basically fish oil. And then like, some. Some kind of brain power that. I don't know that I. I would like to think so. I would like to think so. But then years ago or when I moved here, I tried to track down. Because I was buying it from him. I was trying to. I tracked down the company, like, the number on the bottle, and it went to, like. It's like a guy's cell phone that picked up. And it was the. He was shocked that anyone had ever called him. So I don't know what, like, how.

[Big Cat]

Long were you taking down products for, man?

[Johnny]

Every. All as long as I lived in New York.

[Brandon]

Around the clock.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, wow.

[Titus]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

I mean, a while. It made me feel good.

[Brandon]

I think you were feeling good.

[Johnny]

Clear. It was. He pitched it as, like a limitless type, like, of brain clarity again.

[Brandon]

The guy.

[Johnny]

I mean, he bought. He got got. I mean, this says you. Probably all you need to know about the guy. He told me that he gets. He gets his. His suits out of estate sales, so I didn't love that.

[Kyle]

A guy sold you the Limitless.

[Kate]

That's when people die and they open up their house to come in and buy stuff.

[Johnny]

Yeah, I didn't like to hear that.

[Big Cat]

But how did that come up?

[Johnny]

Because he gives me advice. He was giving me advice, like.

[Donnie]

And one was get your suits at estate sales.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Mark]

So he takes like. Well, we're this guy's possession.

[Brandon]

He has now the presentation. His story is now the episode.

[Kyle]

Episode.

[Johnny]

Tom Ripley asked that. I didn't. That's when I started to shy away from him. And then I did a couple phone sessions with him once I moved here and I was like, I think I'm just getting robbed.

[Big Cat]

How many. How many sessions would you say you've done?

[Johnny]

I don't know. I don't want to think about it, to be honest.

[Big Cat]

How many pills would you say you've taken?

[Johnny]

Bottles. Bottles.

[Kyle]

There's a more important question. How much money would you estimate that you.

[Johnny]

Again, that's what. I don't want to think about it. I've already spent it.

[Brandon]

So why.

[Big Cat]

How much was the, the. How much were the pills? Expensive.

[Johnny]

Those were not cheap.

[Big Cat]

The ones that you took around the clock.

[Johnny]

Hundreds of dollars.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And you bought them from him?

[Johnny]

Directly from him.

[Kyle]

Big Cat's got a question.

[Donnie]

I had a question for you, Johnny. Have you been in the Matrix?

[PFT Commenter]

No, but they were red pills.

[Stephen Shea]

They.

[Johnny]

They weren't red pills.

[Donnie]

I think you've been in the Matrix.

[Johnny]

Red pill. I wish it was like a cooler. I wish it had like psychological effects. It didn't.

[Donnie]

You wish you were taking psychedelics?

[Johnny]

No, because I've seen how that ends.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah. How.

[Big Cat]

Bad?

[Titus]

Right?

[Kyle]

Can you. Holy.

[Donnie]

You were just.

[Brandon]

This was when you were in New.

[Donnie]

York, hypnotized twice a month.

[Kate]

What's a session? Can you walk me through? Like what is a session?

[Johnny]

Sure. So a session is basically like you, you. You walk in and like the first couple, he has to get to know you and you know, background this and that and. And then once he knows you, it's easy. You walk in, he turns on. He has like this box that he like this old looking sound box. Wasn't, not quite a radio. Just. It's. It had one button that did one sound and it was like a gurgling, like, kind of like hurts 432. But it was just a hypna sound, I guess. You want to call. You got. It's like a sound bath. He closed the blinds and he would do. He would sit in the chair, he'd elevate your feet. It was an Easy Boy. And then he would say, all right, what do you want me to implant?

[Mark]

It was a what?

[Johnny]

It was a Lazy Boy.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Johnny]

What did I say?

[Donnie]

Easy. Well, that's Fine. That's more the Stephen Hawkins than you.

[Johnny]

Yeah, well, I think, I think people say both things. Easy boy. Lazy. Easy boy is the same thing.

[Donnie]

I. I actually don't want to argue with you because you're on a hot.

[Kate]

Yes. Yes.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Because.

[Donnie]

Yep.

[Kyle]

Spook.

[Johnny]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

So he would.

[Johnny]

So, yeah. So then you'd say, this is what I want. This is what I want you to do. And then he would do it, and then he'd put you under and it got easier each time. Each time you go under, it's easier.

[Big Cat]

So do you remember anything from the sessions?

[Johnny]

Not once. Once you go under? No.

[Titus]

Give me all your money.

[Johnny]

No. It's not like hypnosis doesn't work like that. It's also works different for every people. Like, you can resist it if you want. You. You can't be hypnotized against your will. That's a common misconception. You have to willingly go under, be hip, to be hypnotized. You have to accept it.

[Big Cat]

And so why is that funny?

[Johnny]

What the.

[Kyle]

I. I didn't laugh.

[Big Cat]

I was thinking.

[Brandon]

Was he eliciting or was he getting you to do things?

[Johnny]

It wasn't like, I don't know. It wasn't getting me to do things. No, but it was just like, okay, I want, like, say you wanted to stop vaping. Okay. He'd say, hey, I want to stop vaping. You go under. You have. After you come out fucking.

[PFT Commenter]

No.

[Johnny]

You wouldn't even want to look at a cigarette or.

[Donnie]

You do that.

[Johnny]

I never really struggled with vaping, but I had him say, just knock it off, just to get it out of there. Nicotine and all that.

[Kyle]

You preemptively got rid of vaping.

[Donnie]

Vaping, yeah.

[Johnny]

I mean, I would suck a vape every now and then. Sure, you do.

[Donnie]

You do nicotine.

[Johnny]

I tried. I really don't. I'll do it if, you know, for fun. If someone has in and they say, try this, I'll do it. But I don't carry. I don't carry it around. I don't have it on me.

[Donnie]

Doctor.

[Johnny]

Yeah, so I'm saying, okay, but, yeah, there's. And then there's other things you can implant. You know, there's things I. I told them to say that I won't share, like, but I won't share them.

[Donnie]

1. It's one that you would share.

[Johnny]

Okay. I don't know. It's like, again, it's so. It's like, it's stuff that it's like, hard to even describe.

[Donnie]

Like, let's do one that you won't share.

[Johnny]

No, but you can ask him. Like, I want to be like smarter. I want to be more, you know, like I stop procrastinating and get my done, you know, like.

[Big Cat]

And do those work for a little.

[Johnny]

Bit, but then you have to keep.

[Brandon]

Going back to like break habits and compulsion.

[Johnny]

Yeah, exactly. Habits and compulsion. Questions.

[Brandon]

And he was charging you 250.

[Johnny]

Yeah, I bit my nails like that. Like. Yeah.

[Donnie]

What's the pill?

[Big Cat]

So are you back to biting your nails now that.

[Johnny]

No, I don't buy my nails. I haven't bit my nails since.

[Donnie]

Love that.

[Mark]

Okay, so to get rid of the bad habits, you just had to regularly pay 250 to this guy and take pills again?

[Johnny]

Yeah, like good guy. Like, honestly, I thought he was a good. Like if I saw him on the street, I'd say he's a nice, you know, nice as can be. But Charlotte. He might have been a Charlotte. I don't know. I don't know if he was. If he's making 250 off me, who knows how much he's making off somebody with less of a clear set on what they wanted from him.

[Donnie]

Okay. All right, let's keep going. That's. And.

[Mark]

And why break glass? What does that mean?

[Johnny]

Cuz I wasn't sure if I was going to use this slide.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Oh, he used it.

[Donnie]

Okay. This was.

[Johnny]

If I needed.

[Brandon]

And then what's che code?

[Johnny]

Cuz he's a cheat code to sleep and dreams.

[Kyle]

That's.

[Donnie]

Okay. That was good.

[Kyle]

What's the woman doing?

[Mark]

Who's she?

[Johnny]

That's a. A. I.

[Donnie]

She's sleeping.

[Johnny]

I don't. I just. I don't know.

[Donnie]

What?

[Johnny]

I searched. I searched. Dream, I think.

[Kyle]

Why is she in the cheat code slot? Fine.

[Johnny]

The cheat code is the same thing. I don't know. He's the cheat code and she's dreaming. We don't have to get into it.

[Kyle]

Okay. All right.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

Scooter.

[Johnny]

Oh, his pills.

[Kyle]

Oh, wait.

[Johnny]

Yeah, maybe a bad guy.

[Big Cat]

Why is pills in quotes?

[Johnny]

Because I don't know what they were. I don't really know what was in them.

[Kyle]

There were pills?

[Johnny]

Yeah, they were physical pills.

[Kyle]

What's his name?

[Johnny]

Jeffrey Ross or Jeffrey Rose. Okay, that's the roast master. Jeffrey Rhodes. Short guy, frail guy, but again, nice as can be. I pictured him as like a guy that has a house in the Berkshires and is always in the woods.

[Kyle]

You knew him.

[Johnny]

Right, But I only. I knew him in the confine of a small room.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Johnny]

I don't know what he did when he left. Besides go to estate sales to buy suits.

[Donnie]

Okay, next slide.

[Johnny]

I think we're done. Oh no. Oh, well this one.

[Titus]

You lied to me.

[Johnny]

Yeah, this one.

[Kyle]

I just.

[Titus]

It's a F, F, E, C, T.

[Johnny]

Well, it can affect too.

[Kyle]

No, no, it can have an effect.

[Titus]

We don't have to get too caught up.

[Kyle]

Sorry.

[Johnny]

Does cancer have an effect on dreams? Is my question.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Mark]

Period.

[Kyle]

Period.

[Johnny]

There's another.

[Donnie]

There's cancer again.

[Titus]

There it is.

[Kyle]

Well, it doesn't. How do you know? It doesn't say cancer on the.

[Mark]

Let's say Danny Conrad.

[Johnny]

That's a. Danny.

[Titus]

That's not what mine looks like.

[Brandon]

Danny Conrad.

[Johnny]

Does cancer affect dreams? Yes, it makes them come true.

[Mark]

True how?

[Donnie]

Wait, what?

[Brandon]

Explain.

[Donnie]

Oh.

[Johnny]

Does cancer affect dreams? And my answer was yes, it makes them come true. Danny, you. You can share your thoughts on this.

[Titus]

You just told us that that wasn't actually what a dream is. That'd be a wish that that didn't happen while I was Make a wish.

[Donnie]

Not make a dream.

[Titus]

I don't know what to believe.

[Johnny]

What's the difference? There's a lot of. Well, you tell me.

[Mark]

Told us.

[Donnie]

You told us Martin Luther King had a wish.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Titus]

And then he said we couldn't Chinese dream. But then he had a dream with Che.

[Johnny]

So in conclusion. So yeah, in conclusion I would say a dream is whatever you want it to be then so you think about it and it's a. More of a. It's should be personal and.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Does everyone have to know what you dream? I don't actually. I don't think so. I agree looking back on this, I kind of wish I never told anyone my dreams or about the hypnotist.

[Donnie]

It's been fascinating. This is incredible.

[Johnny]

Did you at least learn something?

[Donnie]

Yes.

[Kate]

Did.

[Donnie]

Yes.

[Johnny]

I hope you all learned something you I don't could give a about but if it was.

[Mark]

I learned a dream is a wish.

[Kyle]

Your heart makes that's beautiful only when you're fast asleep.

[Johnny]

Better than that's honestly more eloquent than I could have said it so I'll give you points on that.

[Donnie]

Donnie, you did it again.

[Kyle]

You did it.

[Donnie]

This is a great presentation.

[Johnny]

I don't know if I did. I tried this one. I felt a little rushed and I apologize if it wasn't up to.

[Brandon]

No, it was great.

[Kyle]

I didn't know I needed to learn so much about the Chinese.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

I didn't either. I. Yeah, they weren't. They.

[Donnie]

They found their way in there.

[Johnny]

They snuck in like they always do.

[Mark]

Because they were like.

[Kyle]

What?

[Brandon]

Yeah, well.

[Johnny]

What?

[Kyle]

Like, they always sneak in. Yeah.

[Johnny]

We don't. We can get off. We all tell you about it off camera.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Donnie]

I'd like to hear that.

[Mark]

And she was. She was Korean, I think.

[Johnny]

Japanese.

[Donnie]

That was incredible. Donnie, I'm addicted to your presentations.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Donnie]

I need more of them.

[Johnny]

I don't know how many more I have.

[Donnie]

Well, you have Dude Science.

[Johnny]

That one. I do. Yes. Okay.

[Big Cat]

Can our booker reach out to Jeffrey Rose?

[Johnny]

No. No, you don't. Because I don't want to cross him. That's not a guy you want to cross.

[Donnie]

I thought you liked him.

[Kyle]

What do you mean? We were not going to cross. He's a nice guy.

[Johnny]

Yeah. Yeah. But if, like, that's messing with something you, I honestly don't want to mess with.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Johnny]

I should have said his name or.

[Donnie]

Respect your dreams or wishes.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

Square one.

[Mark]

Wait a second.

[Johnny]

You froze me there.

[Big Cat]

Does this guy still have control over you?

[Johnny]

No, that's not what. It was. Never a control.

[Donnie]

If he came in here right now and he snapped, would you be out?

[Johnny]

No. So I tried. So this. So he's not going to want to hear this. Yeah.

[Mark]

Good.

[Donnie]

Cover your mic.

[Johnny]

I'm not even going to say you tried another hypnotist. No, no, no. I did something that might possibly illegal. So I'm not. Oh, I'm not gonna say it.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Don't. Yeah.

[Kate]

Did you record a session to see what happens?

[Johnny]

I'm not gonna say, but it's close to that.

[Big Cat]

Is it exactly that?

[Johnny]

It's close to that, But I. But he got me. I didn't know. He had. Like a fool. He had some way of getting around that.

[Stephen Shea]

What do you mean?

[Johnny]

He got the audio.

[Titus]

Notice the light in your medical audio.

[Brandon]

Odd.

[Johnny]

The audio was all in chunks of 10 seconds with a pause. Like you couldn't string anything he said together. Weird, I know, but I don't know how he did it. My. That might be the box.

[Brandon]

He was.

[Johnny]

I don't know. I don't know. I just think that's what he. I don't know. But by the end. And then he. I didn't pay him for a while. And then his next text, his next texts were all just like, you got to pay me. You got to pay me. You got to pay me. I wonder what my last text to him was.

[Brandon]

You're in debt to him.

[Big Cat]

Why didn't you. He didn't make you pay beforehand.

[Johnny]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

Read the texts.

[Johnny]

I said, hey, Jeff, sorry for a delay. Just Made payment. Appreciate the session. But honestly, this time I feel like it didn't work. All right, I don't want to read this. Actually, this time I didn't feel like it was that deep. Took hold. I don't think anything took hold. Previously. It felt it was much better session this time. I didn't notice any changes, so. So yeah, I guess my last session wasn't great with him. So we've parted.

[Big Cat]

Did he ever answer?

[Johnny]

He just said, thanks for paying me.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Johnny]

So that's. Yeah, I. I would prefer you guys not to reach out.

[Donnie]

No, we won't.

[Johnny]

We'll respect your cousin. In his mind, we are still friends or whatever. Whatever you call hypnotist and his client. Pretty sure it's all doctor patient. Pretty sure? Doctor patient covers everything.

[Brandon]

So did you guys, like, talk outside of the sessions? Amicable way?

[Johnny]

He walked me to the subway. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were friends. That's why.

[Mark]

What are his hobbies?

[Johnny]

That I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Why'd he walk you to the subway?

[Johnny]

I don't know. He was off to something else.

[Donnie]

Interesting guy.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Nice guy. I see. I should reach out, I think. I don't know. Maybe not.

[Donnie]

But. Well, you. You nailed this. And I do want do science. You have like basically 12 days. Do you think you can get it done?

[Johnny]

I mean, I have to get it done. I don't have a choice.

[Donnie]

Yeah, I mean, next week no one's.

[Johnny]

Gonna be here, so. So this one. This one is on just the idea of science.

[Donnie]

No, it's your what you. How I would do the money for.

[Mark]

It's like Shark Tank for science experiments.

[Donnie]

Yeah, Like, I want to know what you think of science, what you think you're going to do with science, what.

[Kyle]

You'Re going to prove with science.

[Johnny]

Got it.

[Donnie]

And then I will imagine.

[Mark]

Imagine you do a sleep study, but Big Cat's funding it.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Oh, that'd be awesome if I actually get into a lab and use my device.

[Big Cat]

Oh, your device.

[Johnny]

Well, you know, I've told you about this device plenty of times. I'm still waiting on it. The one that I've kick started like six years ago. Oh, the mask.

[Big Cat]

The VR mask.

[Johnny]

It's not a VR mask. It's a sleep mask that's supposed to make you dream, but.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

When did you founder?

[Johnny]

The founder keeps Update. That was $700.

[Big Cat]

And when do you. When were you supposed to get it?

[Johnny]

Before we left New York. So a long time ago. Two years.

[Donnie]

It was another guy's Kickstarter.

[Johnny]

Yeah, yeah, but I get Updates from the founder. Bi Monthly, or so it says. It's coming. Just delayed.

[Titus]

We need that.

[Big Cat]

What. What does. Yeah, you did show me the. The goggles.

[Johnny]

It's sleep. So it's actually. I mean, it's like if. I'm glad I got in as early as I did because what it is, is goggles. It's a sleep mask that you put on and basically take the technology of the mat. The mat that I have, and it will put your. Induce your brain into a sleep like state whenever you want it. And then it will, like, can help you. Basically help you dream. And then when you want to wake up, it shoots waves in your brain and then there's lights in the eyes. It makes it sound like the sun's rising.

[Big Cat]

Is reality that bad for you?

[Titus]

You want to dream this much?

[Johnny]

No, this is not really for dreams. This is more for sleeping. This is more deep sleep. But yeah, I kick started it and I haven't.

[Big Cat]

But why did you say you're happy to get in on this early?

[Johnny]

Because he said if you don't. If you don't get in on early, if you buy the mask, once we're in mass production, you have to pay a yearly fee to use the mask desk. So I got Lifetime for free.

[Big Cat]

But you don't even have it yet.

[Johnny]

No, but when I get it, it'll.

[Big Cat]

Be free for life.

[Donnie]

I love that.

[Johnny]

What do you. Why you look disappointed. I. I got it on the ground floor.

[Kyle]

No, I'm. I'm just looking at you in awe and wonder.

[Big Cat]

So you did 700 bucks?

[Johnny]

Yep.

[Kyle]

That's not.

[Big Cat]

How long have you been waiting?

[Johnny]

Give or take five years.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Donnie]

All good things.

[Johnny]

Technology takes. Pretty sure Apple is the same way. One's the first computer five years after.

[Kyle]

Agreed.

[Donnie]

Donnie, that was incredible.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I'm in awe.

[Donnie]

I love you. I love you. The Yak audience loves you. Just so you know, you're loved.

[Big Cat]

Love.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Johnny]

Appreciate it.

[Kyle]

Do we feel good?

[Brandon]

What was your takeaway after the presentation?

[Donnie]

My takeaway was just kind of leaving abruptly there. What are you doing? Well, no, my takeaway was that I just need more Donnie in my life.

[Johnny]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Johnny]

I love them.

[Kyle]

I think that's everybody.

[Donnie]

His brain is interesting. He's got interesting stories. He's. He's a man who's seen and done things like I'm a. I would never go to a hypnotist and take weird pills.

[Mark]

No.

[Brandon]

I would feel like I'm being scammed.

[Donnie]

Right.

[Mark]

Pay almost a thousand dollars a month.

[Donnie]

And I would never do that. So I like that there is someone who would do that and tell us about it.

[Johnny]

So you know that's what they say.

[Donnie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Big Cat]

That's what they say.

[Donnie]

So love him.

[Kyle]

Dude.

[Donnie]

What just happened that he's the.

[Kyle]

Best ever thing that has ever happened.

[Donnie]

To this ever you ever.

[Brandon]

I won't even if he made that up, I don't think it didn't.

[Big Cat]

But you know how we were always like. How do we not know he was like this? Maybe he wasn't.

[Donnie]

It was the pills and the hypnotism.

[Mark]

He was taking the limitless amount of.

[Kyle]

Pills, but also how much could we scam him around?

[Big Cat]

Oh my God.

[Brandon]

He was a medical captive for five years in New York around the clock red pills, getting hypnotized.

[Donnie]

Pills that were extreme regularly.

[Mark]

He hated the idea of doing nicotine every so often. So he took pills constantly. He preached so as to not.

[Big Cat]

He was never addicted to nicotine, but he preemptively kicked the habit by taking pills every day around the clock, non stop.

[Donnie]

Yeah, he's just a jam.

[Brandon]

Just take it. Every waking moment, the instructions.

[Kate]

Keep it in your car, your office.

[Big Cat]

Your desk, your backpack.

[Brandon]

He walked.

[Big Cat]

He walked into the subway once.

[Brandon]

They were boys. Nicest guy if he's seen him.

[Big Cat]

But then he had like legitimate fear.

[Donnie]

Talk to him.

[Kyle]

No, this only buy suits at a state estate sales.

[Donnie]

I'm still wondering what the Chinese do.

[Kyle]

Well, we figured the Chinese out pretty early.

[Donnie]

Depends.

[Big Cat]

But then he has to tell us off air how they sneak into everything.

[Donnie]

How.

[Kyle]

How the word Chinese get into that.

[Mark]

At all, I have no idea. We asked him to report on his dreams, but he's. And he opened with Chinese.

[Donnie]

Do the Chinese dream the same. He's so good. He's so good.

[Johnny]

I just need him.

[Donnie]

I need everything about him.

[Big Cat]

We can get whatever we want from.

[Donnie]

Like I genuinely though, like he. I would never do a hypnotist. He. He is a guy who's. Who's at the cutting edge of science. He'll try anything.

[Mark]

I really think every Monday. You could do what we did this Monday and just be like Donnie, your weekend.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You want to tell us about it?

[Titus]

Let's go.

[Brandon]

I'd rather not say, but yeah, I can't say. I'll just say that I did something illegal.

[Donnie]

He's a star. No follow ups there.

[Mark]

So funny.

[Kyle]

All right.

[Donnie]

What a show. He did it again. I can't wait for do science after we get back from the Super Bowl.

[Kyle]

We just need.

[Big Cat]

You need to give him money.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

To fund these.

[Donnie]

Whatever he wants. The GoFundMe and I will open contract. And I will. And I will.

[Kyle]

I think I. I'd join you.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

The Kickstarter stuff, the Kickstarter tech. Do you think we could make a Kickstarter that feeds into everything he wants and see if he invests?

[Brandon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

Very easily.

[Big Cat]

Very easily.

[Donnie]

All right, Slim Jim. You want to do Slim Jim Reed real quick, Brandon. I think Donnie's snapping at Titus there was probably.

[Kyle]

Okay. Yep, Yep. This hoof snap this week segment is presented by Slim Jim. When you feel like you've had enough and you're ready to snap, snap into a Slim Jim instead. Slim Jim's iconic snap turns any moment of annoyance into satisfaction. We love meat, and Slim Jim is the ultimate meat stick to satisfy your meat cravings. Available in multiple sizes to match your hunger. You cannot go wrong with the OG Long stick. If you're looking for something more, try a monster or savage size. Load up on the short sticks for your meat stash at home or the office. When life makes you want to snack, snap into a Slim Jim. With its bold, meaty flavor, iconic spice, and signature snap, Slim Jim is the smoked meat stick that helps you reclaim the moment and snaps back at the world. Snap into a Slim Jim. Grab one today. Everywhere, snacks are sold. Who snapped this? So who snapped this? Also earlier in the show, Ben Mint snapped when he was on the phone and just couldn't get through it without. Without the Slim Jim snack.

[Donnie]

That's right.

[Mark]

He never did. As far as I know, he never did open that Slim Jim.

[Kyle]

I don't see tries.

[Brandon]

No.

[Donnie]

Try as you might.

[Mark]

Still working on it.

[Donnie]

That was incredible.

[Big Cat]

There's so much to take out from that and just process.

[Donnie]

Just incredible. Okay, so tomorrow we will have Plinko day, which we're going to tape in a minute. So that will be tomorrow with all of our ideas and things for super bowl week. And then we will be off to San Francisco.

[Kyle]

Yep.

[Donnie]

Very excited. I want to go talk to Donnie.

[Kyle]

I'm just already there.

[Donnie]

He leaves us stunned.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Donnie]

Okay.

[Kyle]

There's nothing you can say.

[Big Cat]

Do we feel.

[Kyle]

Can we.

[Donnie]

No, I don't feel bad.

[Big Cat]

We need to protect him a little bit.

[Titus]

In danger.

[Donnie]

No, I think you just let him go. He survived this long.

[Kyle]

He's doing better than us. Yeah, He's. He exists in his it. Look at him.

[Kate]

He took mystery pills from a pretend dream doctor.

[Kyle]

He's back there in his own kitchen. He's. He's living his life, man.

[Donnie]

Yeah, he's.

[Mark]

He's got it figured out the whole thing.

[Kyle]

That guy right there has a better life than anybody in this room.

[Donnie]

Facts.

[Kyle]

And the thing is poured into his palm.

[Mark]

I say this every time about him, too. Not everything he says is stupid. The way he says it is always funny.

[Kyle]

And if you wait long enough, he'll turn. Turn it stupid.

[Mark]

And he'll turn it stupid.

[Big Cat]

But he'll get mad at you for laughing.

[Donnie]

But then he'll be right.

[Mark]

And you're laughing because he's just saying something innocuous. But he's, like, so mad.

[Donnie]

But he dunked on us with Spook.

[Kyle]

But is it too dangerous to ask him to do a slide presentation just on the CIA?

[Donnie]

Because I. Ah, yes, that one will have to happen.

[Kyle]

He seems to have some opinions.

[Donnie]

Yeah, a lot of thoughts. I would like that. CIA definitely do.

[Kate]

Him and Dante click.

[Donnie]

Oh, remember, famously, no blood feud.

[Kate]

What?

[Donnie]

Yeah, the whole.

[Kyle]

The whole.

[Brandon]

The gay sticker.

[Kyle]

You're not here.

[Stephen Shea]

That.

[Brandon]

The whole.

[Kyle]

At the bar over the girl gay stamped on.

[Big Cat]

He spent, like, 10 hours making a gay sticker.

[Donnie]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Oh, that's right. He spent.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

He spent a ton of time making this sticker.

[Kate]

Don't worry.

[Kyle]

I'm just gonna go out and play some ball.

[Brandon]

This is a hypnotized. He is hypnotized right now. This is.

[Big Cat]

Did he see a man?

[Brandon]

He is currently hypnotized. He's under a spell, and he is irreversibly controlled.

[Big Cat]

The last guy you ever want to not pay is a hypnotist. That man still has complete control.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he is.

[Donnie]

He hasn't broken this.

[Brandon]

Jeffrey Rose is controlling him right now in a laboratory.

[Mark]

He just told someone to go long and threw it, and there was nobody there.

[Brandon]

He used a spoon. He was eating toppings.

[Donnie]

Oh, my God. He's so Holy, holy, holy. All right, tj, spin the wheel. Oh, man, he's so good.

[Johnny]

O.

[Donnie]

We're good. All right, see everyone tomorrow for Plinko day.

[Johnny]

Shout out, Donnie. Man, what a guy. Shout out to yak viewer Nicole and Dylan, who are currently in labor. Good luck. Shout out that baby. All right, see you guys tomorrow.

[Donnie]

I love you guys.

[Johnny]

Bye, Plinko tomorrow.

[Donnie]

Bye.