Ethan Is Completely Unmotivated Before His Pro Day Vs. Mintzy | The Yak 3-3-26

Summary

The Yak – Episode Summary

"Ethan Is Completely Unmotivated Before His Pro Day Vs. Mintzy" | March 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, the crew (Big Cat, Brandon Walker, KBNoSwag/Kyle, Steven Cheah, Rone, Lil Sas, Kate, TJ, Jerry, and guest Ethan) gear up for “Mincy Pro Day Part 3,” dive into classic Yak chaos, and face Ethan’s legendary lack of motivation head-on. The conversation swings from absurd punishments (sleeping under mattresses, human napkins) to introspection on ambition, happiness, and the art of doing nothing, all delivered in their signature laid-back, irreverent style.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Pro Day Antics: Ethan vs. Mintzy (00:52–16:00, 47:07–51:17)

• Premise: Ethan is in town to face Mintzy in the third Pro Day. The winner scores a $10,000 World Series of Poker buy-in; the loser must sleep under the victor’s mattress for a week.
• Events/Punishments:
  • A slate of 16 challenges, including taping to a wall, 1v1 flag football, human curling, and popcorn kernel catching.
  • Past punishments and their rationale surface, e.g., the "all-time napkin" (must let others use you as a human napkin throughout a stream), which sparks heated, hilarious debate.
• Memorably oddball mechanics: The hosts discuss logistics such as home-field advantages, timing, and possible celebrity coin-flip ref.

“It has the possibility of being our best ever. We have 16 awesome events. Some old school ones that we're bringing back. Some new ones. Might have purchased a shopping cart.”
— Big Cat (07:25)

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2. Ethan’s Vibe: The King of Doing Nothing (49:03–74:09)

• Ethan’s Life and Motivation: The core of the episode, an extended, honest, and comedic interview with Ethan about his lack of direction, motivation, and full-throttle contentment with doing little.

  • Lives with his parents at 25 (“my parents call me their roommate” [53:24]), sleeps until 11, and his main gig is dog-sitting for his uncle.
  • Admits to lacking any “internal drive,” finding contentment watching wrestling or (when feeling truly inspired) arranging poker nights, though even those friends have faded away.
  • Everyone marvels (with a mix of affection and concern) at his radical honesty and self-acceptance, debating if he’s the Zen master of their age or quietly existential.
  • Notable quote:

    “There are moments where I'll feel a tiny bit of inspiration, but then I'll just forget about it. And then it's, we're on to the next inspiration over.”
    — Ethan (54:16)

• Ambition & Hypotheticals: The crew pepper Ethan with scenarios (If Barstool re-offered a job? If he moved to Vegas for poker? If drafted for war?). Ethan’s responses: Shrugs, honest disinterest, or laissez-faire acceptance.

  • Example:

    (On the prospect of returning to Barstool full-time)
    “If this week I was like, ‘Hey, I want us to come back to Barstool and I'm actually going to work,’ I would hire him. He won't tell me that he's going to work because he can't. He can't agree to that.”
    — Big Cat (54:45)

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3. Classic Yak Bits & Recurring Comedy (Throughout)

• “All-Time Napkin” Debate (10:04–16:00, 41:31–48:17):

  • Who will don the white hoodie and be used as the crew’s human napkin during a van food-eating stream? No one wants it, but everyone wants the bit to exist.

• “Sluttiest Thing a Man Can Do Is Be a Cat Dad” (23:59–32:19):

  • Spirited debate on whether being a “cat dad” radiates surprise, sexual charisma, or just confusion.

  “The sluttiest thing a man can do is be a cat dad.”
  — Big Cat, quoting a viral tweet (23:54)

• Stream of Consciousness Comedy:

  • Off-the-cuff bits on fitted hats coming back (76:42), the semantics of “slutty” vs. “gay” (34:28–34:44), and riffing on vacation rentals and grilling mishaps (84:00–115:31).

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4. Childhood Heroes, Basketball Legends, and Family Secrets (00:14–06:56)

• Banter on Larry Bird’s mythology, troubled family history, and comparisons to Karl Malone’s off-court infamy. The group navigates uncomfortable NBA history with trademark irreverence.

  “Some of the most successful we have don't acknowledge children. Right? It's almost a rite of passage.”
  — Brandon (03:07)

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5. McDonald's and Fast Food Legends (17:57–21:39)

• Discussion about the legendary Don Gorske (35,000+ Big Macs eaten); speculation about whether he’ll betray his favorite for McDonald's “Big Arch.”
• Analysis of fast-food item evolution, the secret McLean, and McDLT sandwiches.

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6. Jerry’s Kindergarten Book Disaster (36:32–44:45, 89:50–98:14)

• Jerry shares his embarrassment reading “The Big Cheese” to his son’s class:
  • Can’t pronounce “inexplicably,” “igniting,” or “disconcerting.”
  • Teachers giggling, students distracted.
  • Vows to redeem himself, debates choosing a new book.

  “I've been out the reading game since 16, 17, you know?”
  — Jerry (91:14)

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7. Philosophy of Contentment and Generational Drift (68:44–73:29)

• The group debates whether Ethan represents lost-cause millennial apathy or has simply achieved “The Dude”-like enlightenment.
• Brandon:

  “He's either very Zen. He's achieved nirvana. Or ready to die.”
  — Brandon (69:25)

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Notable & Memorable Quotes

• Ethan’s Radical Honesty:

  “Doing nothing and getting a check? Man.” (56:19)

• On Parents’ Perspective:

  “I don't think I've ever met someone who has such a lack of motivation, but also fully admits it. Zero…”
  — Big Cat (54:04)

• Group Reflection:

  “We don't know if he's the happiest man ever or he's like a day from death.”
  — TJ (70:40)

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Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment / Discussion | |-------------|----------------------------------------------------| | 00:52–16:00 | Pro Day setup, punishments, event teasers | | 23:54 | “Sluttiest thing a man can do is be a cat dad” | | 36:32–44:45 | Jerry’s reading disaster story | | 49:03–74:09 | Extended Ethan interview / Motivation deep dive | | 76:42–79:55 | Fitted hats, Judge vs. Ohtani speeches debate | | 89:50–98:14 | Jerry tries (and fails) to read “The Big Cheese” | | 104:00+ | Jerry’s change in life philosophy, book banter |

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Memorable Moments

• Ethan admits he “might be third fiddle, maybe playing triangle” as his ideal life role (65:16)
• Jerry recounts faking his way through a tough kid’s book:

  “I was skipping pages just to try to get the book [done].” (90:54)

• Big Cat on Ethan’s life philosophy:

  “He just kind of exists...almost like a Big Lebowski guy. Like, he's like The Dude.” (69:17)

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Conclusion

This episode is classic Yak: gag-heavy, self-deprecating, surprisingly incisive, and a celebration of the absurd. While Big Cat and Co. mock, prod, and diagnose Ethan’s lifestyle, there’s a genuine fascination and some underlying empathy. The show effortlessly pivots from Pro Day sports-adjacent chaos and lowbrow physical comedy to honest meditations about life, work, and what it means to be truly content doing nothing at all.

If you want to witness unfiltered group dynamics, deeply honest self-acceptance, and the creative torture that is Yak Pro Day, this is a must-listen.

Transcript

[Brandon]

Hey Yak listeners. You can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube Prime. Members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

[Big Cat]

Hello, it's the yak. Welcome in stelbluecoffee.com go right now. Buy some great coffee. Stella's Gotcha Day was 14 years ago on Sunday.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Steven]

Whoa.

[Ethan]

Gotcha day. And you know her birthday?

[Big Cat]

No, she was stray, picked up on the streets. Do you know how old they guessed? Between nine months and a year. Okay, so we just kind of picked sometime in May to celebrate a birthday. But yeah, go, go to stellbluecoffee.com money helping pause dogs like Stella. 14 years she's been in my life. What's up everyone?

[Tj]

Hey.

[Big Cat]

We're on the eve of Mincy Pro Day Part 3 tomorrow.

[Ethan]

The boys are in the building.

[Big Cat]

The boys are in the building. Ethan is here. We're gonna have him.

[Steven]

Come on.

[Big Cat]

We have.

[Brandon]

He's larger than I remember.

[Big Cat]

He is a little bit larger.

[Brandon]

I. I fear now he may dominate.

[Big Cat]

Should we send him back maybe, do you think? If we send him back right now. Yeah. So he's staying at Miny's house for the next six to seven days.

[Ethan]

Oh, that's a long time.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah. And remember, the loser is going to have to sleep on underneath.

[Ethan]

Underneath.

[Brandon]

Underneath Losers mattress.

[Kate]

That's right.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Well, on the flip side, the winner will get the, the prize of sleeping.

[Steven]

Yeah, sleeping on top.

[Ethan]

On top of.

[Brandon]

And their world poker or their world poker.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, World Series of Poker.

[Brandon]

That's the big. That's a nice.

[Big Cat]

Paid for ten grand prize. Yeah. So my worthy adversary has arrived. I don't, I don't know. Like, did, like. Did Larry Bird and Matt Johnson ever sleep in the same house?

[Brandon]

I think so.

[Steven]

Yeah, they did actually.

[Big Cat]

I think, I think Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain did.

[Steven]

Did they?

[Big Cat]

I think so. But that was like when the. Back when there was.

[Steven]

There was only like seven houses.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. And like four hotels.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Was Larry Bird getting freaky or. I don't know anything about his like off the court antics. Was he getting weird or wild?

[Steven]

It's not documented. If he was, I think he was

[Big Cat]

a good old boy.

[Brandon]

He was a talker, right?

[Steven]

He was a beer drinker.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Big time beer, beer drinker.

[Kate]

Fisherman.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tj]

Is he married? Does he have kids?

[Steven]

Yeah, don't dig. Don't dig on that one.

[Jerry]

Oh, really?

[Steven]

Oh, that's. Oh, if you want to love Larry Bird, don't.

[Big Cat]

I don't know that.

[Steven]

Don't dig on the kid though.

[Tj]

A couple extra baby Birds don't dig in different nests.

[Steven]

Let's just. Let's keep it to the basketball.

[Big Cat]

He did something.

[Steven]

No, let's keep it the best way.

[Brandon]

No, if this was anybody else, we'd talk about.

[Steven]

There was a book and baby bird. He had a daughter he refused to acknowledge.

[Big Cat]

Ah, rats.

[Steven]

Now, I don't know if in later years they came together or not. I didn't follow it, but hell of a basketball player. Hell of a basketball player.

[Kate]

Really good basketball player.

[Brandon]

Some of the most successful we have don't acknowledge children. Right. It's almost a rite of passage.

[Steven]

Anthony Edwards pre. Didn't acknowledge his. Yeah, Carl.

[Jerry]

Carl Malone.

[Big Cat]

No, that was.

[Steven]

He acknowledged a kid.

[Big Cat]

I don't. I think if you just said Carl Malone didn't acknowledge a child, you'd be like, oh, that's not that bad. It was way worse.

[Ethan]

Yeah, that makes it sound.

[Big Cat]

You don't know that. I can't actually judge Young. We had him on pmt and then I. I regretted that because I was like, oh, I didn't realize it was that.

[Brandon]

How long ago?

[Big Cat]

During COVID Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

So it had.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, no, but it was like one of those things that I think.

[Kate]

Would you think it was like 1970?

[Jerry]

Yeah, but maybe like the 80s.

[Brandon]

I was thinking, like early on when you guys weren't as established.

[Big Cat]

No, but weird case.

[Steven]

It didn't like, kill his reputation.

[Big Cat]

Right, Exactly. So it's like not something you just learned right away when you, like started watching the NBA.

[Kate]

Right.

[Big Cat]

It's like something you just learn. It's like everyone has learned the story of Karl Malone at a different time and place. You just find it and you're like, oh, that's not good. It's like Steven's learning it right now.

[Brandon]

Well, I know a little bit. I had a spin off question to the Larry Bird stuff. Did his family actually get the insurance

[Steven]

money from his dad's?

[Brandon]

Because I feel like I learned about that like in elementary school, which feels like an insurance adjuster would just deny that claim.

[Big Cat]

Was that suicide? Oh, I don't know. Do you not know the car Malone, though?

[Brandon]

I feel like he had relations with an underaged woman and got her pregnant.

[Steven]

Yeah, like, not a woman, though. 13.

[Jerry]

Like a child, not a man.

[Brandon]

Yeah, you got an underrated.

[Steven]

That's not the only other man.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why the buddy woman?

[Brandon]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Big Cat]

Girl.

[Kate]

Oh, It's a girl.

[Big Cat]

13, severely.

[Brandon]

Oh, 13.

[Steven]

Wow.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's where. Yeah, yeah.

[Kate]

And what were you asking about insurance with Larry Bird's Family.

[Brandon]

It was in the story. Larry Bird's dad.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Steven]

He did kill himself to get insurance

[Brandon]

money for his family.

[Steven]

I don't know that. I didn't know.

[Kate]

I didn't know that part. I thought it was because, you know, life.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Life tough.

[Brandon]

If it's tough.

[Tj]

Okay.

[Brandon]

You learned that in grade school. Yeah.

[Steven]

I mean, I think I read like

[Brandon]

a small book on Larry Bird, maybe.

[Ethan]

How instrumental was he to your chat? Would you go on field trips to French Lick?

[Kate]

He was. He was instrumental. Yeah. Basketball. Jesus. In Indiana.

[Big Cat]

The H. French.

[Brandon]

At what age were you taught about Larry Bird?

[Kate]

I. I don't remember a time when I didn't know about Larry Bird with

[Brandon]

my father whispered in your ear as a newborn. He was your first words.

[Big Cat]

See, that's Larry Bird Fest.

[Jerry]

Bird.

[Big Cat]

Kate, welcome back from Iran.

[Steven]

But you.

[Jerry]

You said you.

[Tj]

I'm told I look like Larry Bird from time to time.

[Steven]

You could be the daughter.

[Tj]

My nose.

[Jerry]

Whoa.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Tj]

Oh, that'd be nice money. A little extortion.

[Brandon]

You would never.

[Big Cat]

Kate, that fighter. That was crazy.

[Tj]

That was crazy.

[Big Cat]

Did you guys see that?

[Tj]

Did you. Do you know, like, what happens when you get ejected from a plane like that?

[Big Cat]

It's like 15 GS or something insane.

[Tj]

It, like, you're shorter after that forever. Like, it, like, it can like, you up.

[Big Cat]

So it was a fighter pilot in Kuwait who I think she got shot down. And she ejected before her plane got shot down. And then she was just like, hanging out in the desert and, like, some dudes came up and were like, hey, you cool?

[Tj]

She was smiling like, yeah, I'm cool.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Tj]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Wow. Like, I'm good.

[Tj]

I got this landing clean, everybody. I think, like, three different planes got shot down and they all ejected and survived, which is. But some.

[Big Cat]

She was way too calm for what she just went through.

[Jerry]

No problem.

[Steven]

You want safe? You and safe. You're safe.

[Big Cat]

Everything good?

[Jerry]

No problem.

[Big Cat]

Thank you for helping us. She's smiling. Yeah, I guess if you.

[Brandon]

She's probably in shock.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Tj]

This is one of those things where maybe a few hours later you're like,

[Big Cat]

oh, holy, that was really bad.

[Brandon]

And then they all wear that thing that says, like, I'm an American, please get me back to the United States.

[Tj]

Have you seen. I don't know if they still wear that. It's very hard to suss out what's real, what's real and what's not. I don't know if they still do that or not.

[Brandon]

I was thinking, I need one for miny. Yeah, get me Back safely.

[Big Cat]

Get them back.

[Brandon]

Return, please. Yeah, I'm.

[Big Cat]

I'm from Louisiana. Please return me.

[Brandon]

Yes. If you find me, send me back.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

But. Yeah. Mincy.

[Jerry]

Ethan.

[Big Cat]

Pro day is it has the possibility of being our best ever. We have 16 events. Awesome events. Some old school ones that we're bringing back. Some new ones. Might have purchased a shopping cart.

[Brandon]

Damn.

[Ethan]

We got one of those.

[Big Cat]

You got a shopping cart.

[Brandon]

He's already stretching out.

[Big Cat]

Stretching out.

[Brandon]

I would be really motivated to win if the punishment was having to sleep under another man. I forgot that part. Your ass wouldn't you throw.

[Steven]

You.

[Brandon]

You're right.

[Big Cat]

Should I say some of the events just to get a little buzz going. It's not like a spoiler.

[Brandon]

I pitched one that got shot down. Kate. I wanted them both to have a minute to flirt with you. And you would have to judge who the better flirt is.

[Tj]

Kind of like that.

[Brandon]

You would be so uncomfortable.

[Tj]

I would die.

[Steven]

Was it shot down on the basis of believability?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Tj]

That's fair.

[Big Cat]

Some of the ones are bringing back take taping items to a wall, which I thought was funny last year. Yeah. The flag football 1v1 where they have to grab each other's flags. We have. They're cooking something. What?

[Steven]

Ethan's just gonna smoke him in that.

[Big Cat]

You don't know. I mean, he's a runner.

[Kate]

Mincy can run.

[Big Cat]

Mincy's a runner. Human curling is going to be a new event.

[Brandon]

Maybe Ethan has a giant flag.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Trying to think. Oh, the popcorn kernel.

[Brandon]

That was classic.

[Big Cat]

That we did.

[Brandon]

That was something. That was for something else. World record day.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. There's some really good events, though. And Clemmer will be here. He'll be the head referee. And I'm excited.

[Ethan]

Me too.

[Tj]

Got a new purple hat on the wall for the first time in a long time.

[Brandon]

That's right. Was it Connecticut?

[Tj]

Yes, I think so.

[Brandon]

Connecticut purple hat. I never thought we'd see the day.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Kate]

East coast is coming together for the

[Tj]

haters who say we got sick of it.

[Steven]

Well, there's a big hole in Ohio right there, isn't it?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Tj]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

He did it.

[Brandon]

That was. Yeah. That was so Friday.

[Big Cat]

We played it Friday. Tj, thanks for watching the show. And then we got the Doug Dug

[Steven]

tonight, which Doug Dog in a Mincy Day is quite the 24 hours.

[Big Cat]

Nick, Eddie and I are doing the longest day of our lives. I'm not trying to like, say, you know, when we stormed the beaches of

[Brandon]

Normandy or longer than that, like the

[Big Cat]

woman who got shot down in Kuwait.

[Steven]

But We're.

[Big Cat]

We did wake up bar.

[Ethan]

And then.

[Big Cat]

And then we're going to be throwing up in a parking lot. In a strip mall parking lot somewhere around midnight tonight.

[Ethan]

The midnight.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, probably. We have eyes on the van. To the van. Looks cool.

[Brandon]

The van has a table.

[Big Cat]

Table. Lucas is all time napkin. Yes. Which he's protesting to a level that I think he doesn't understand how this all works.

[Brandon]

Is it napkin just for, like, if I get ketchup on my hands or what if I have to sneeze anything?

[Big Cat]

Blow your nose. Wipe your ass.

[Brandon]

Bloody nose. Nose.

[Big Cat]

Bloody nose.

[Ethan]

Wow.

[Brandon]

Yeah. He's really not happy.

[Big Cat]

Look at that.

[Ethan]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

That thing is going to smell so bad.

[Brandon]

What if we park the van and there's a puddle? Will he lay in it?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Jump over. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kate]

The fan looks like it was made for this and this alone.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, right.

[Jerry]

Exactly.

[Brandon]

Or like, transporting prisoners.

[Tj]

And Nick, you are in.

[Brandon]

I'm in. I mean, everything.

[Ethan]

Wow.

[Jerry]

Oh, no.

[Brandon]

I miss it so much. Oh, but we all are.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. We're all going to get sick. Absolutely. And there we also have some like. So, Nikki, Nick obviously has his gluten, which he's going to power through.

[Tj]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

Eddie was like, I don't eat pickles or mustard. I was like, okay, dude, but we're going to have to eat everything. He's. He's, like, revolted by it.

[Brandon]

He's shockingly the most picky eater ever. That's what he said. He will go to McDonald's and order a burger with no salt or pepper.

[Jerry]

What?

[Steven]

I didn't know they put that right.

[Brandon]

He does it as, like, a hack to get a fresh patty, but he also just. He has a fresh patty. Hack. And yeah. He eats all Chicago hot dogs. Plain salt and pepper.

[Big Cat]

That's just a hot roast. That's not a Chicago hot dog.

[Steven]

Right?

[Brandon]

This is a hot dog.

[Big Cat]

It's just a hot dog.

[Kate]

Chicago.

[Big Cat]

What else?

[Kate]

Good luck, Chicago.

[Brandon]

He might doesn't like condiments in general. He might bring his own, like, sauce that he likes to. Yep. Put on. Definitely see him doing that to mask out.

[Big Cat]

He's just a very picky guy.

[Brandon]

He'll. He'll be, like, easy on the ice. Like, any little modification he can. He's going to do that.

[Big Cat]

Huh?

[Brandon]

Is that against the rules? Can he say no pickles?

[Big Cat]

We cannot change anything.

[Ethan]

I don't think you can modify. No.

[Big Cat]

Whatever the person in front of us orders, we order.

[Brandon]

And he's going to puke from mustard.

[Kate]

Yeah. Going to make him eat or is he just going to have to punt on.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Tj]

Have you revealed the restaurant list in order or. No, not yet.

[Big Cat]

We, we. We know which ones we can go to. It's kind of a feel where we're like we, we decide in the next.

[Brandon]

And also I don't want any like terrorists.

[Tj]

Right.

[Brandon]

Who are going and ordering eight.

[Steven]

No.

[Big Cat]

The stream sniping is a real concern.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Especially now that we're in a big van.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Dressed in all white.

[Brandon]

All white.

[Big Cat]

Rico Bosco has asked for that.

[Steven]

So what time's the start?

[Big Cat]

7pm tonight, I believe. 7pm central, 8pm eastern.

[Steven]

Good luck boys.

[Brandon]

I kind of really hope you guys get the big arches. It comes out today so the public's going to be glamoring for the big arch. Sexy name.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Hello.

[Brandon]

Oh, I think has a different cheese.

[Tj]

Especially if you're a foot guy and

[Big Cat]

it has like extra patty.

[Brandon]

Do we love McDonald's here?

[Ethan]

The picture I saw of it, it did it justice. Yeah, it did. The advertisement just in the video of

[Brandon]

the CEO eating it. He loved it.

[Tj]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yes. Loved it.

[Brandon]

He just. He had it in small bites. I'm sure he had a. Wanted to save some for the customer.

[Tj]

Oh dang.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it's dense.

[Tj]

What's on the bottom there under the cheese?

[Jerry]

Crispy onions.

[Tj]

Oh, crispy onions.

[Brandon]

It's like considerably bigger than a Big Mac.

[Jerry]

Really.

[Kate]

Considerably big.

[Tj]

It's very round.

[Brandon]

Is there salt and pepper on the patties? Gotta think for Ed's sake.

[Kate]

We gotta see a side by side with the Big Mac.

[Tj]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

There's nothing that puts that. You can't. You can't call something big without scale.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. So yeah, we're going to be doing that tonight. And then also we have next Thursday and Friday official, official booked and everything. The game one and two of the Yugoff for that's baseball. And I am flying in. Boys are flying in. I've maybe gotten a little out of hand with some of the things that I'm planning.

[Steven]

It's what I've heard.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it's what I've heard. Well, you need two different anthem singers.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Big Cat]

Right, Duh.

[Brandon]

I guess.

[Ethan]

Or.

[Steven]

But those guys are a man.

[Big Cat]

You can't do.

[Steven]

No.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven]

No.

[Big Cat]

But for game one and game two you can't.

[Steven]

You're gonna do. I thought you'd do. Oh Canada. Because it was a hockey.

[Big Cat]

Game one's Thursday. Game two is Friday.

[Steven]

I see.

[Big Cat]

You can't just have the same anthem singer for both.

[Steven]

Sure.

[Big Cat]

You also need a fucking giant American flag.

[Brandon]

Absolutely.

[Steven]

By Giant.

[Big Cat]

These things are things we need. Giant court sized, giant American flag. It's going to be a spectacle, all for about five seconds of competition.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Kate]

That will most likely be a tie to the naked eye.

[Big Cat]

Yes. Well, we're gonna go. Well, we hired a. I hired a ref. Oh, really? Yeah, real ref.

[Kate]

I just.

[Big Cat]

With a stopwatch, I'm envisioning all the

[Kate]

lead up and then they both chug and then they're both just kind of looking at each other like, yeah, it was you or me.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

So I, I, it's just one chug.

[Big Cat]

I think so it might be two, but I get these guys got them flights. I don't know if I got them hotels.

[Steven]

I'm just saying. Number $10,000.

[Big Cat]

No, it's not going to be that much, but it's going to be more

[Brandon]

than seven game series.

[Big Cat]

Seven game series. So, yeah, by the end, yes, $10,000 for sure.

[Steven]

But games one and two.

[Big Cat]

Games one and two. No, it's a couple.

[Kate]

One ref.

[Big Cat]

Oh, good point.

[Steven]

And you're. You're hiring that out? You're not just making Spider the ref or.

[Big Cat]

No, we need an official, unbiased ref.

[Jerry]

Don't you need one free to hold to time each person?

[Big Cat]

Well, no. So I was thinking we should do it as separate. Do you guys do.

[Brandon]

I agree.

[Jerry]

I go, then you go.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Because I think we need to be exact to the chug.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

You know what I mean?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And then he can reveal the times. You can make it dramatic, maybe pause.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Halftime. We do have a halftime show, but

[Tj]

I don't think second chugger can watch the first chugger. I think they need to not know because I think if they see the first person crush it, then maybe they might give up a little bit or like harder spill.

[Ethan]

Yep.

[Kate]

What do we do about spills then?

[Jerry]

You could do a coin flip too, to see who goes first.

[Big Cat]

Yep. Yep. Ceremonial coin flip. We'll have to have someone come do that while they get a celebrity to come in.

[Brandon]

That really is a big concern. Spills.

[Kate]

Spills.

[Big Cat]

Bill's huge concern. We almost taint the whole separate rest.

[Steven]

I guess Lucas will have to be a napkin again.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, napkin. We'll just put Lucas underneath him. He gets wet, he has to scream at the top of his lungs like a buzzer. He's a human buzzer. That'd be fun. Yeah. But yeah, that's gonna be quite a scene. Quite a scene. And I'm excited for they the. The home by three guys asked if they could. If they could bring some of their fans, and I kind of lean like, no home field advantage.

[Steven]

But listen, the road fans can go to a World Series game, right? We'll have. We'll have more than that.

[Big Cat]

But when Dana goes to Scottsdale, it's got to be like, he's got to walk into the terror dome.

[Steven]

He's got to take some of us.

[Jerry]

No, we're not going to take some guys.

[Brandon]

I don't know if I'm rooting for Dana.

[Big Cat]

I don't think I am either.

[Ethan]

I. Yeah,

[Big Cat]

because, you know, he'll slip up and say that's baseball, and then we'll have to sue him.

[Steven]

Yeah, I think they should be allowed to bring fans.

[Big Cat]

Okay, I'll. I'll consider it. But I do think home field should matter. It should be like, you know, no matter how. Check this house.

[Steven]

They're not going to have as many as he's going to have.

[Kate]

What does.

[Big Cat]

I don't know. They said they got a lot.

[Kate]

Brandon, in your scenario, what would home field get you? We got to have some sort of advantage, right?

[Steven]

But if you host game one of the World Series and you're the Cubs, there's still going to be some Guardians

[Big Cat]

fans, but very few.

[Kate]

But maybe, maybe, maybe there is no coin flip and home field is. You get to go second. Is that the advantage?

[Steven]

That might be it.

[Big Cat]

We'll figure it out.

[Kate]

Have to. Have to figure it out. This is huge.

[Big Cat]

This is enormous. Huge. People are dying to know about.

[Kate]

We must figure this out.

[Big Cat]

So what's up, everyone else? What do we got? What should we get on?

[Ethan]

Should we get on?

[Steven]

Y' all want to get on something? Can I have a thought?

[Brandon]

Starter, maybe?

[Steven]

Yes, please, please.

[Brandon]

So when you guys are talking about McDonald's, we love.

[Steven]

I was wondering, with the big arch

[Brandon]

today, there's a guy in Wisconsin who's had over 35, 000 Big Macs.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he was on super size.

[Brandon]

What do you do?

[Steven]

Do you keep with the Big Macs or do you try the bigger, better one? I think.

[Brandon]

Oh, if you're him, I think you

[Steven]

stay with the Big Macs because of the sauce. Right. It's the taste he like. Same sauce, is it not?

[Brandon]

It's. Yeah. He's been doing this every day for how many years you got to stay

[Big Cat]

with the Big Mac?

[Steven]

50.

[Brandon]

Don't they call him Big Mac?

[Steven]

But isn't the thing about the Big Mac is if you take a picture of Big Mac today and one from 20 years ago, it was way bigger back then.

[Big Cat]

Was it?

[Steven]

Yeah, I think that's One of the things that's almost across the board in fast food that everything. It's smaller than it used to be.

[Big Cat]

Do you think this guy's in like a, like a moral dilemma? What do I.

[Steven]

That's what I'm wondering.

[Brandon]

No, it's like if a new brand of cigarette comes out, you're.

[Steven]

You already have your brand.

[Big Cat]

Let's talk to them.

[Steven]

If he's had 35000 Big Macs, he's gone through a bunch of different launches. He's gone through the McRib. He's more about the Arch Deluxe. He's gone through all of it.

[Brandon]

What was the McDonald's thing that they had the lettuce and tomatoes separate so it didn't soggy up the bun.

[Steven]

I don't know. Was that.

[Brandon]

Is it the lto?

[Steven]

There was a mcdlt. Uh huh. And then there was the Arch Deluxe and then there was the McLean burger that might.

[Brandon]

What's the McLean burger?

[Steven]

It was a burger that was not. It was like an impossible burger.

[Brandon]

I think I had a mix London from my Tommy Smokes.

[Big Cat]

Tom Gorski.

[Jerry]

Big Arch.

[Big Cat]

What a perfect game.

[Steven]

He's got new saw, of course.

[Kate]

Big Mac constitutes 90 to 95% of his total solid food intake.

[Big Cat]

And he's the most 71 or something.

[Brandon]

He has his own dog.

[Steven]

I kind of want to buy that book. 22, 477 Big Macs.

[Brandon]

Does he describe everyone's birth?

[Ethan]

That wasn't long.

[Big Cat]

When did the Big Mac come out?

[Steven]

Oh, 60s, 1870s, 40.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

TJ, can you pull up his book? I want to read an excerpt. Like is it all about Big Mac or just. I don't know if I care. 1967 chapters.

[Big Cat]

1967. 15 years without a Big Mac.

[Steven]

Yeah, but he was in prime Big Mac. He was ready for.

[Brandon]

Yeah, 15 is perfect for your first Big Mac.

[Steven]

It looks good for running marathons.

[Brandon]

Awful book cover.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. What is that book cover?

[Brandon]

Three and a half.

[Tj]

Let's see the reviews.

[Big Cat]

That is the most low effort book cover I've ever seen in my life.

[Brandon]

One star.

[Steven]

People love it or hate it or ski fans rejoice.

[Big Cat]

Why so much?

[Ethan]

Don't buy it's about a guy eating McDonald's.

[Steven]

I'll have this book by the way.

[Big Cat]

Now I'm saying wait, what quality vampire. Did you buy it? Yeah. What's your problem, dude?

[Kate]

If this guy had any brains he would sell it cheap.

[Big Cat]

Whatever. Ending a review with whatever is great.

[Brandon]

Are you buying it right now, Brandon?

[Steven]

I am, yeah.

[Ethan]

Corski fans rejoice it's not a Stephen King novel.

[Tj]

It ain't no Da Vinci Code.

[Brandon]

That's the highest. Highest.

[Ethan]

Brown, you want Gorski or not? The prices can be drier than the bun.

[Jerry]

Okay.

[Steven]

God, it is $55. Whatever.

[Brandon]

Was it hardback? Maybe? It's quality and signed. No.

[Big Cat]

Ah.

[Brandon]

AI Books are taking over Amazon.

[Steven]

Oh, my.

[Brandon]

Good. Search for whatever and it'll pop up a fake book that I think writes itself as you bought. Like, buy it.

[Steven]

What?

[Brandon]

It's like tricking people.

[Big Cat]

We should do that as a gift.

[Brandon]

Yeah, we should have just. Hey, I'd r. You know, the yak

[Jerry]

book is on Mark's Wikipedia page in his bibliography.

[Kate]

Really?

[Brandon]

No way.

[Big Cat]

I love that.

[Kate]

I've technically written two books.

[Big Cat]

That's great.

[Brandon]

I think Mark Blutman is now listed under partners of Vanna White.

[Steven]

Oh.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that actually happened.

[Brandon]

Wikipedia.

[Steven]

Are Mark and Big Cat the only two in the room that have a Wikipedia page?

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Kate]

Probably.

[Steven]

I assume you have one.

[Kate]

There it is.

[Big Cat]

That's beautiful.

[Kate]

I mean, I've covered it all at this fiction and non fiction. What else is there? What else is there?

[Brandon]

Well rounded off.

[Big Cat]

Have you seen any of these books in the wild?

[Jerry]

I've signed.

[Big Cat]

You signed them?

[Jerry]

People will bring them to, like, Final four and super bowl week and have people like us.

[Kate]

I've not seen. God bless.

[Big Cat]

That's a great. That's great.

[Steven]

I had to kiss a dude at the WWE the other day. Got a yak coin.

[Brandon]

So you got to kiss it.

[Steven]

I had my. I had my kids with me.

[Big Cat]

You always say that.

[Steven]

What, you kiss in front of your Kiss. Kiss boys in front of your kids.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven]

I was like, all right. But I. I kissed him. He had a scraggly beard. He was.

[Big Cat]

Do you realize, like, what our digital footprint is like with what our lives

[Steven]

mean in what meaning what, like clowns.

[Big Cat]

Your. Your daughter seeing you kiss a man is gonna be. Is gonna pale in comparison to when she, like, looks up everything we've done.

[Steven]

Yeah, fine.

[Brandon]

When you're dead in a couple years, like, the only image that will be left online is, like, you and that mankini that you wore. Like.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

That'll outdo your life.

[Big Cat]

And naked for us.

[Steven]

Or the slit. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Or your slit.

[Big Cat]

And yeah. Like, there's so much that we put out there, it's like you can't even think about it.

[Steven]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Brandon]

Just kiss the boy.

[Big Cat]

Anna White, partner.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Brief stint.

[Big Cat]

So how long do they date?

[Steven]

A year and a half.

[Brandon]

He scooped her up Right after that guy died.

[Big Cat]

How do we find this out? He just said, I just.

[Steven]

I just, just. And I talked to Bloodman every now and then. Mark.

[Big Cat]

Oh, the other one.

[Steven]

Yeah, Good guy.

[Big Cat]

The sluttiest thing a man can do is be a cat dad.

[Brandon]

Is that a take?

[Ethan]

Yeah. Where did this come from?

[Big Cat]

I saw. I saw that tweet last night and I bookmarked it because I wanted to say it out loud to you.

[Ethan]

That's the new stigma.

[Big Cat]

The sluttiest thing a man can do is be a cat dad.

[Ethan]

Oh.

[Tj]

If a dude is cool and hot and then he like, casually without rubbing it in your face as a cat, that he's a good cat dad of, that is hot.

[Brandon]

But if he rubs it in your face that he has, then.

[Tj]

Then if he's like, yeah, he's like 2.9 at the bar talking about his

[Big Cat]

cats, it's like, all right, 2.9, 000 retweets. 18, 000 likes to do is be a cat dad.

[Brandon]

I think dog is sluttier.

[Big Cat]

No.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

You're out on walks to be seen.

[Big Cat]

But a dog. A dog dad is like. It's very generic. Everyone's. Everyone does that. A cat dad. Woo.

[Jerry]

You are a. Ladies like to be

[Tj]

intrigued if a dude I didn't think has a cat has a cat. I'm like, whoa. Yeah, like that.

[Big Cat]

Oh, who like one of our top sluts here? Yeah, Tom, Exactly.

[Ethan]

I don't know if it's.

[Tj]

That's surprising.

[Ethan]

It depends on the guy. Interested more with the cat then maybe, but Grady size?

[Steven]

More.

[Ethan]

Yeah, but what about.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Steven]

This is.

[Ethan]

The dogs are much slutty.

[Big Cat]

Got an update on. On Don Gorski. Josh just talked to his wife.

[Ethan]

What.

[Big Cat]

What do you think he's doing that he can't call in right now.

[Brandon]

He better be at McDonald's.

[Tj]

McDonald's.

[Big Cat]

No, he's. He's bowling and then playing cribbage.

[Brandon]

What a life.

[Ethan]

Yeah. No time in between.

[Steven]

Let me stop you there. What? Scrimmage cards. What is. What's cribbage?

[Brandon]

Is that the game with the pegs?

[Steven]

I don't know what's cribbage? I've heard of it.

[Kate]

So the, like, billiards with the bumpers?

[Steven]

No, that's.

[Big Cat]

No.

[Ethan]

Is it cribbage?

[Steven]

That's bumper pool cribbage.

[Big Cat]

Is. Is. Is the. The pegs in the board game?

[Kate]

Yeah, on the pool table. And you.

[Big Cat]

No, no, no, no.

[Steven]

You get on the broom, you know, you throw the ball through the hole.

[Brandon]

That's cool. Yeah.

[Tj]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

That's cribbage, right?

[Tj]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

They're messing with you. You had it right.

[Steven]

I didn't say anything. I don't know what it is.

[Tj]

How the hell do you play this?

[Big Cat]

Cards and I've played it before. I can't. It's fun.

[Steven]

He's warming up for that by bowling.

[Big Cat]

It is a fun game.

[Steven]

I've never played that.

[Big Cat]

No, he's bowling first.

[Steven]

That's what I said.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. True.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Good.

[Brandon]

Has he had McDonald's today?

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

Can he ask her?

[Tj]

The sluttiest thing a Wisconsin man can do is bowl and play cribbage in a day.

[Big Cat]

I agree.

[Tj]

I'll tell you what.

[Steven]

Does he. So does he not. Does he skip breakfast there? There's Blutman and Van White. Does he skip breakfast and just go wait till the Big Mac comes out at 10:30 before he eats? So you said 95?

[Kate]

That's right.

[Jerry]

You gotta buy the book to find out, I believe.

[Tj]

Isn't there a guy, he, like, buys a bunch. He goes, like, twice a week and he buys them and puts them in the freezer and he, like, reheats them throughout the week so he doesn't have to keep going.

[Steven]

A reheated Big Mac.

[Tj]

Yes. I don't know if that's him. That does it, but I'm pretty sure

[Steven]

Big Macs are good. I don't have enough.

[Big Cat]

Don Gorski's, Tuesday afternoon.

[Tj]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

Playing some bowling.

[Brandon]

We just got 55 bucks from Brandon.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, true. My.

[Steven]

My thumb cramped up right before I was able to.

[Brandon]

Oh, I'll get it.

[Steven]

No, I. I'll get it. I just. 55 bucks.

[Big Cat]

I'm dying to know if he's gonna.

[Steven]

Fine. I'm buying it.

[Big Cat]

Steven's thought starter was good. I'm dying to know if he's gonna go big Arch.

[Brandon]

Thank you.

[Big Cat]

He's gotta try it. Does he, though?

[Steven]

Again, I think of 35,000 Big Macs. He has survived a lot of fast food launches, man. Yeah, true.

[Brandon]

But this one's so similar.

[Big Cat]

Has he ever had a McRib from.

[Steven]

Yes.

[Ethan]

He's just getting that. Yeah, yeah.

[Steven]

Like.

[Big Cat]

But do you think he ever is? Like. Oh, man.

[Steven]

Did he ever have a McSalad shaker?

[Tj]

Probably.

[Brandon]

I remember those. I has. McDonald's not paid him to be something yet.

[Tj]

I'm gonna say. Like. Do they like that or are they wary of it?

[Big Cat]

Tom, come here. I need you to answer a question for me. Yes or no?

[Tj]

Mysterious.

[Big Cat]

Ready? Are you a. So you know you were watching. Are you a. No. But the sluttiest thing a man could do is be a cat dad. It's definitely not not slutty.

[Brandon]

It's not not slutty. What makes it slutty?

[Steven]

Well, like.

[Big Cat]

Well, yeah, I mean, I just was watching. It's like what Kate said.

[Tj]

It's like a surprise. You're like, oh, I thought I had a beat on this.

[Big Cat]

Has it worked on a girl before where you're like, oh, just so you know. Yeah, I got a cat.

[Steven]

Something about it, quirky isn't slutty.

[Big Cat]

No, no.

[Tj]

Makes him a little deeper in. In a. In a dumb lady's brain, which back in my early 20s, mysterious.

[Big Cat]

You. You've used it successfully to be like, hey, just heads up, got a cat. Yeah. How? You have one cat? Yes. What's your cat's name again?

[Tj]

M. She was on the act before.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's right. Show and tell here. Yeah, she's cool.

[Steven]

Well, also, like, I have.

[Big Cat]

Oh, also the fact that it's a girl cat. That is slutty. It is, yeah. What a female. I also, like, have that, like, Mika's chill. I mean, Danny's washed her. Like, there's been a lot of like, oh, I don't know if I like cats now. When I meet her, it's like, your cat's different. I like your cat because, like, she's like, really cuddly. She's like a dog.

[Brandon]

Like, she just wants.

[Big Cat]

Oh yeah. She's not like, mean and like, highest compliment.

[Brandon]

Is being a dog the best attack baseline dog. Well, in like their eyes, like they want. That's what they want.

[Big Cat]

Because they just want, like, I mean, Kyle, you know, they just want that immediate gratification of, like, attention and.

[Ethan]

You're talking about the women.

[Big Cat]

Lucas. Yeah, hold on a sec. Come back in a sec. Come back in a sec.

[Brandon]

If the slutty thing is to be a cat dad, Kyle has two.

[Ethan]

The slutty thing I can do is be a cat dad with a fiance and a bunch of girlfriends.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brandon]

But take the cats away and then it's not slutty.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And like your children, you should get a girlfriend and then tell your fiance. What did you expect?

[Brandon]

I have a cat too, like you.

[Big Cat]

This is what you signed up for, you know? Well, you have two cats. You need a second, right?

[Ethan]

Uhhuh. You know, two p. They don't, do they? Do they? They embody beauty. I mean, there's a reason catwalk. Cat eyes. Yeah. Like, they are beautiful, but not like Sexy.

[Steven]

Are you?

[Ethan]

And I'll put that on record.

[Big Cat]

Are you. Do you have. Are your cats boys or girls?

[Ethan]

Two chicks.

[Big Cat]

I just assume every cat's a girl.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

Every dog's a boy.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tj]

I got a dude cat.

[Steven]

Right.

[Big Cat]

I have a girl dog.

[Steven]

Yeah, but dude cats are bad. Motherfucker.

[Tj]

He is a bad motherfucker.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, they're problems.

[Tj]

He's a problem.

[Steven]

They'll just walk around town fucking anything and fighting.

[Brandon]

Kyle, are they excited when you get home?

[Ethan]

The one is, I love Piper. And I don't really. I just kind of hate Pinky.

[Big Cat]

I have an offense.

[Ethan]

I'm a natural reciprocator of emotion. I love the look at her. The look of her. I think she's adorable. She just doesn't. She's more of. Yeah, like a. She's wallpaper.

[Steven]

She doesn't. With you.

[Ethan]

No, no. Which is in. It's in itself endearing.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

It's like having like a socially off child who, like, you're not going to give you affection. They're not gonna show you emotion. But you. You love having them around, right?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

But counterpoint.

[Brandon]

Vito Corleone, he always was petting the cat in his lap.

[Steven]

True. That's.

[Big Cat]

That's slutty.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I have an offensive question that I would. No, I'll just rip it. Sorry. Kate, is. Are cats the only species where it's better to be a woman than a male?

[Steven]

Oh, no, wait a minute.

[Brandon]

Bumblebee.

[Big Cat]

Oh, bumblebee. Like, cats, like, they kill the queen. Female cats are like, no.

[Kate]

What?

[Steven]

Praying mantis eats the males.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Tj]

Gets murdered by everybody.

[Big Cat]

Horrifically.

[Steven]

After a while, after a long time, when they. When they have a new queen ready, she has a good long life. And then they kill her.

[Tj]

She does.

[Big Cat]

But I'd much rather be a girl cat than a boy cat.

[Tj]

Oh, my boy cat.

[Steven]

I. I think you're wrong on this. I think a boy cat has an incredible life. They're the tomcats. Out trolling for every night and just fighting in the neighborhood.

[Brandon]

Fights and they. And garbage and eating.

[Steven]

Eating. Nah, just killing things.

[Tj]

Black widow spider. She's got it good.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Tj]

She's doing well.

[Brandon]

First, is it clownfish where the male gives birth?

[Big Cat]

What?

[Brandon]

Seahorse?

[Ethan]

Yeah, well, they're like trans, Right?

[Big Cat]

Can't they just.

[Brandon]

They are trans.

[Steven]

Flip that.

[Tj]

Like intersex.

[Big Cat]

Right?

[Tj]

They're both. Yeah, they got both things going.

[Steven]

Right. Maybe we were just wrong when we identified male and female.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Just be like, well, the one who's showing out kids, that's the female?

[Ethan]

Yeah, I think. Yeah.

[Tj]

Male, have it.

[Brandon]

Divorced, give birth and have.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Seahorses are. I mean, if I ever saw one, like, they're tiny.

[Steven]

They're not as big as.

[Big Cat]

They're like this.

[Ethan]

I would be disappointed.

[Brandon]

Yes.

[Big Cat]

Oh, dude, they're so small.

[Ethan]

I think they're the most out of this world, like, looking creature anatomically.

[Big Cat]

But they're so small.

[Tj]

Reversal par excellence. Male seahorses develop a kind of uterus, like a small pocket in their belly. The female drops her eggs into that brood pouch and the male fertilizes them inside. He's got a.

[Big Cat]

Look how small they are.

[Ethan]

Is that.

[Steven]

That's even bigger than I thought.

[Jerry]

She throws his eggs at him and then he goes. And himself. He fertilizes the eggs within him and oxygen.

[Big Cat]

I didn't even know this man.

[Steven]

I saw some geese yesterday. It just told me the spring was coming.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. How do they get in on the action?

[Steven]

Oh, he was just on top. He was.

[Brandon]

Room for one more?

[Steven]

Yeah. The geese were out on the water and they were. They were getting.

[Brandon]

After they.

[Steven]

On the water, these two were. I assume they were. They were in position.

[Big Cat]

All right, Tom, thanks. So confirmed slut.

[Brandon]

Yeah, for sure.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I love that about you.

[Steven]

Is that all blue or is one of those black?

[Big Cat]

My outfit?

[Steven]

Yeah, that's.

[Ethan]

That's blue.

[Brandon]

It was even slutty saying, my outfit. Yeah, you are.

[Big Cat]

I can't.

[Brandon]

Monochrome.

[Big Cat]

I can't get over. Tom sent a picture to one of the group. Chats were on. And he was in the. At the Olympics. And he was wearing a leather coat.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Smoking a cigarette. And it was the coolest anyone's ever.

[Tj]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I mean, I was in my. My zone there. That's. That's Euro, Tom.

[Brandon]

Damn.

[Big Cat]

So cool.

[Kate]

Such a cool place.

[Big Cat]

And the hair's coming back kind of. Yeah, right.

[Tj]

It's at a good length.

[Ethan]

I gotta shape.

[Steven]

I gotta buzz it back.

[Big Cat]

No, no, no, no, no, no. That's kind of slutty that. You like my hair? I love your hair. Yeah, I've told you that.

[Steven]

Are we just replacing slutty with gay or.

[Brandon]

Yeah, no.

[Kate]

What's happening?

[Steven]

Right, right. Because what he just did was gay. That wasn't slutty.

[Big Cat]

I'm not a slut.

[Ethan]

He.

[Steven]

Right.

[Tj]

Reminder that both are fine in 2020.

[Steven]

That's fine. That's fine. But I feel like we're saying slutty when we mean gay.

[Big Cat]

No, no, no. Why did you ask me? Tom is blue. No, Tom's like, I might be.

[Steven]

I can't I. I've been trying to think if one of those is black the whole time, get, like, offense.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Steven]

You took offense to that?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven]

Why? Sorry, Brandon. Like, embarrassing if I, like, what's the difference myself?

[Big Cat]

Say sorry. Wearing black with blue like, that would be. Is that wrong? Yeah, but so slutty. You gotta coordinate your outfits.

[Brandon]

Try it out one time, Brandon.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I'm a big.

[Steven]

But that's blue on blue.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah, it works.

[Steven]

But black on blue could also work.

[Brandon]

I think Tom's about to make you black.

[Kate]

Not really pull it off, Tom.

[Big Cat]

I know.

[Ethan]

I.

[Kate]

Not everybody.

[Big Cat]

Not everybody.

[Kate]

You could. Yeah, you could for sure.

[Steven]

I also wouldn't.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. If I was wearing it, you would know. You wouldn't have to ask. You know,

[Brandon]

you started this battle.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven]

Thank you, Tom.

[Big Cat]

Thank you, Tom.

[Jerry]

All right.

[Big Cat]

Thanks, guys.

[Kate]

Stuff, Tom.

[Tj]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Thank you, Brandon. Did you almost buy anything yesterday?

[Steven]

Oh, what do you mean?

[Brandon]

You sent me a picture of a jersey and said, should I buy this?

[Big Cat]

What is it?

[Steven]

No, no, no, no. Don't do that. Okay.

[Big Cat]

I.

[Steven]

It's for Jersey. I might still go back and get it.

[Big Cat]

What is it?

[Steven]

It's a.

[Brandon]

You have to wear it buttoned.

[Steven]

I'm gonna send it. I was. I'll send it to tj. Yeah, it was just a jersey I saw at the Jersey store at the. At the antique store that I went to after I worked yesterday. And. Yeah, there it is. You might have to flip it because I didn't flip it. That's in cj. Where do I send it to? I sent it to you.

[Brandon]

Nick sent it right back to me.

[Steven]

I'm old, by the way.

[Big Cat]

Did you guys see. While we wait for the jersey. Did you guys see Jersey Jerry? He's gonna. He's. I told him that he can come on at the end of the show and have a little redemption, but did you see what happened to him yesterday?

[Ethan]

No.

[Big Cat]

Do tell. He went to read to his kids kindergarten class and got tripped up pretty bad by the book.

[Brandon]

Oh, no. What words got him?

[Big Cat]

I don't know. He tweeted.

[Ethan]

Oh, no.

[Big Cat]

Inexplicably. All right, Jersey Jerry here. All right, Jersey Jerry here.

[Jerry]

I don't know how to say this. My son's school was looking for volunteers to come read. I said, no problem. I could do that. Nobody was signing up. I said, I'll go. I decided to bring this book to Big Cheese. My son used to like when we read this to him when he was. When he was a little bit younger. We had it in the house. I said, let's Bring it. This bad idea. Just a bad, bad idea. I mean, the, the. The amount of big words in this book is crazy. Had a full blown meltdown in the class. I had to regain multiple times. Teachers were giggling in the back. Kids were just not locked in whatsoever. I'm gonna link down. I'm gonna link, show, show the picture of the words. I took screenshots of the words in a book. I'm gonna post them below.

[Brandon]

But

[Jerry]

I don't remember, like at four years, like, I don't remember words being this big in this book. Who wrote this? Jory, John and Pete Oswald. Do better, man. Do better. Don't use big words like that.

[Big Cat]

Kids in the back, I'll trip you up. Yeah, that's tough. So I told him, bring it in. We give it, give it a shot trial run. Because he said he's gonna go back. He said he's gonna give it another shot.

[Kate]

Bizarre for fourth grade.

[Big Cat]

It's the idea of him.

[Ethan]

It's like a fun. Is it like a funny staff? Like, they're like, I don't know, Jerry.

[Big Cat]

And the idea that he was like, I got this and then opened that

[Kate]

book was like, one of the teachers says, sound it out.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Jerry's using sight words. Oh, you got the jersey.

[Steven]

No, I'm opting out. I don't, I don't want.

[Big Cat]

Why?

[Steven]

I don't. I don't want to do it. And it's.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I just say what it is now.

[Brandon]

It's a Disney. It's a Winnie the Pooh character jersey. Yeah, but if worn on buttons, it could look bad.

[Steven]

There's only one letter on one side

[Big Cat]

I gotta see, and the rest of the letters are on the other side.

[Brandon]

Brandon. Brandon, you're.

[Steven]

Like I said, it's this.

[Brandon]

I. I don't think you realized.

[Steven]

I didn't know it was as bad as it was. I was like, there's senna.

[Brandon]

And I said, absolutely.

[Big Cat]

I want to see.

[Brandon]

I said, no, Iglette. What were they saying? What were they saying in the store? Like, did you.

[Steven]

Oh, I was just. I was in an antique store. Nobody saw it.

[Big Cat]

Now we gotta see it. Lucas, you are all time napkin tonight.

[Ethan]

No, I'm not. I'm not.

[Big Cat]

Yes, you are. I'm not doing that.

[Brandon]

I do a lot of stuff.

[Ethan]

I'm not doing that.

[Steven]

Why?

[Kate]

I do a lot.

[Big Cat]

I'm not getting wiped on by you guys.

[Steven]

You make people do God knows what.

[Ethan]

And what does that do?

[Big Cat]

Tell me one thing that's worse than being an all time napkin.

[Steven]

Oh, my God.

[Brandon]

In your eyeball.

[Big Cat]

That's not worse than being all time napkins.

[Steven]

That's not worse.

[Big Cat]

None of those are worse. Yeah, I would do all of those over being all time nap. Okay, so then we'll bring the shock collar every time we got to wipe our hands.

[Jerry]

We'll shot.

[Steven]

No, like, I'm sorry. This right here. That. That is worse.

[Big Cat]

That's not what. It's on a little bit.

[Brandon]

You're going to throw.

[Big Cat]

That's crazy. You're crazy if you're. If you don't think anyone's going to come up to me and be like,

[Ethan]

wipe their mouth on my.

[Big Cat]

You're crazy if you think this isn't going to happen. It's not happening. I'm not doing it. I'm not wearing it. What are you gonna do? You're. You are barely a man. That's not true. I'm.

[Ethan]

I'm.

[Big Cat]

You're.

[Ethan]

I'm fully a man.

[Big Cat]

You're in a van with behemoths that can hold you down.

[Steven]

So what are you saying? The stream is off just because you won't be a napkin?

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[Brandon]

This is the most tame thing ever.

[Ethan]

It's not.

[Big Cat]

Well, start slow.

[Ethan]

No. Would you rather I'm not the napkin?

[Brandon]

Would you rather be eating tonight or being napkin?

[Big Cat]

I'd rather be eating. That's crazy. I'll be all time napkin.

[Ethan]

I'm not. I'm not being a napkin.

[Kate]

I don't know what else I don't get.

[Big Cat]

It's gross.

[Kate]

Yeah, the whole stream is gross.

[Ethan]

Yeah, but like, I'm not going to

[Big Cat]

be used as a human napkin. Yeah, you are.

[Ethan]

No, that's.

[Big Cat]

That's so demeaning.

[Brandon]

Yeah, but I get your point there.

[Big Cat]

No, I don't. We do it.

[Steven]

Showing it is demeaning, but it's no more. No more or less demeaning than anything else.

[Big Cat]

I never asked anyone to do something more demeaning than being all time natural.

[Ethan]

Name one.

[Big Cat]

Name one.

[Steven]

Hold on.

[Big Cat]

There's got to be something that we're not thinking of.

[Jerry]

Brandon and Jerry kissed on the lips.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, by choice.

[Ethan]

You guys did that on your own.

[Jerry]

I didn't make you kiss.

[Brandon]

Trying to get a dunk tank full of piss.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. And come.

[Steven]

Yeah, I heard you were. You, you were. You were adamant that you get a drunk tank full of piss.

[Brandon]

This is getting ketchup on a hoodie you're throwing away.

[Big Cat]

I'm not gonna be. It's. It's the aspect of me being used as the wiping.

[Steven]

You didn't answer that, did you? Try to get a dunk tank full of piss.

[Big Cat]

Y sold enough shirts, we would have got a Dun Tang full of piss and come. Yeah, that was the highest. The highest tier. And this guy doesn't want to be a napkin. It would have been Tate. He agreed on it. Here's the thing. You're going to be a napkin. It's kind of a. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.

[Kate]

Yeah, you might as well put the sweatshirt on. They're going to. They're going to wipe on your own. Your own clothes. So put on.

[Big Cat]

They all have their own sweatshirts. This is Bosco's idea.

[Kate]

What are you wearing?

[Big Cat]

He stinks. I'm Costco. Stinks. Sucks. Why? He's also trying to play card games during the stream. Oscar's got gags. Why would you sweatshirt.

[Kate]

Why not just put on the white one?

[Big Cat]

Because I don't want to be used as a napkin.

[Kate]

But the way Dan's talking, it seems like it's going to happen, right?

[Tj]

What if you had really long sleeve extenders and they just probably.

[Big Cat]

It's a 4x sweatshirt. It might be that long. Great.

[Tj]

Well then.

[Big Cat]

So much cloth to use as.

[Ethan]

I'm not being used.

[Brandon]

What if you start in the pants and then work their way out?

[Kate]

Lucas, what if it wasn't you? What if it was someone else? The idea of a human napkin. Funny.

[Big Cat]

It's so fun. Yeah.

[Kate]

So exactly.

[Big Cat]

This is the problem.

[Ethan]

I can't.

[Brandon]

I texted t. I, I.

[Big Cat]

The phrase alltime napkin is one of the funniest things ever. L. Right.

[Brandon]

I'll be napkin.

[Jerry]

You eat.

[Big Cat]

I'll consider it.

[Brandon]

I don't take myself. I. I'll gladly be napkin.

[Ethan]

I'll consider it.

[Brandon]

I was born to be a napkin.

[Steven]

You'll consider it?

[Big Cat]

I'll consider it.

[Steven]

You were just adamant that you would in no way be a napkin.

[Big Cat]

I can't. I can't give away. If we're going to change that, think about how funny your sweatshirt would be at the end as all time napkin.

[Jerry]

We'll auction it off.

[Brandon]

It gets to a price.

[Steven]

Maybe they have to start in your crotch area. How about that?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. No, there's no. There's no pants.

[Steven]

There's no pants.

[Brandon]

There's no pants.

[Big Cat]

How the hell are we doing? There's no pants.

[Brandon]

It's just white hoodies.

[Big Cat]

Well, that's the dumbest I've ever heard.

[Steven]

White hood.

[Big Cat]

Well, the cameras are just like, up. We gotta get you some more. If you got your white pants, would you do it? No. All right, we'll get you white pants.

[Brandon]

He has a pair.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

If I'm not gonna pull my weight, I'll be napkin.

[Big Cat]

Okay, I'll consider. No, no, no.

[Brandon]

You don't want me to steal the glory now.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I don't want. No, no, I don't want to be napkin. But also.

[Kate]

I know it's funny.

[Brandon]

I want to be.

[Kate]

You'll be the star of the stream.

[Big Cat]

I don't want to. I don't want to eat, though. I lied about that.

[Steven]

Do we have multiple cameras set up?

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So one in the back and one in the front. 3.

[Kate]

Just want the night off.

[Ethan]

Lucas.

[Steven]

You don't want to do anything.

[Ethan]

I just want the night. No, I'm cutting.

[Big Cat]

We have three cameras. I'm cutting the cameras in it. I'm doing audio. I'm doing things. You're napkinning.

[Steven]

Are you in the van?

[Big Cat]

Yes. So perfect for napkin.

[Brandon]

Lucas, you eat out napkin.

[Ethan]

I don't want to eat.

[Big Cat]

I lied about that. Yeah, see, eating is worse than napkin.

[Ethan]

Fine. But being.

[Big Cat]

You can't tell me being a napkin is not demeaning. Oh, 100% it is. That's my whole.

[Steven]

That's my whole problem.

[Big Cat]

Okay, so we agree.

[Brandon]

You have a chance to be the funniest person on street.

[Ethan]

If not, I'll be the butt of the joke.

[Steven]

They've been demeaning people. That's what our old job is.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah. We're going on in a van to stuff our faces and. And. And best. I'm supposed to be fine in there. I'm supposed to have nothing wrong with me, and I just get to laugh at you guys and film you puking. See, that's where all time napkin. He's alltime napkin.

[Steven]

All right.

[Big Cat]

All time napkin. There he goes.

[Kate]

There goes my napkin.

[Ethan]

Yeah, yeah, like something like that.

[Brandon]

Did you see how he switched when I said would do it?

[Kate]

Yeah, exactly. I. I'd do anything to not be napkin. Okay, all right.

[Steven]

Switch me.

[Jerry]

Cool.

[Brandon]

I kind of want to be napkin dude.

[Big Cat]

I'm going to use my. My own sweatshirt napkins.

[Kate]

It's going to be the star of the show.

[Brandon]

When you're eating, let me lay on your lap.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Brandon]

Let me be your bib.

[Big Cat]

That's fine.

[Brandon]

I'll. I'll lay on the lap of every eater.

[Big Cat]

I love how, like, excited Nick is for this. He doesn't realize how much it sucks.

[Brandon]

I am so excited, and it sucks beyond belief.

[Steven]

You guys are going to make yourself sick from eating. You're going to throw up, and then you're going to laugh. At how funny it is that you're throwing up. He's going to make himself sick, sick, sick.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Fun. I know what I'm signing out for. I want to puke with the boys.

[Steven]

Okay.

[Tj]

I'm excited to see what you guys end up getting. Like, I just think that part of it's fun.

[Big Cat]

We got everything.

[Tj]

The hope of the person in front of you. Just.

[Big Cat]

It's thrilling. The. The actual gamble of driving, pulling up and like. Like, I remember last year we were eight or nine deep and it was just a single chocolate ice cream cone. It was like, this is the greatest thing.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So, yeah, hopefully we get some of that. By the way, Roebuck Roebach Activewear. Did you send the jersey?

[Steven]

No, I don't picture corrupted them.

[Big Cat]

Roback Activewear. Best fit, best feel. You all know Roback, best hoodies and joggers in the game, but what you may not know is best pants in the game too. The Roback Delta pants are incredible. Really great fabric and fit for every day. They have have a really nice stretch waistband for when those LBs keep stacking on. Find us pairing Robax fulton vests with these pants to complete the fit. The vest is perfect for the winter months. Nice zipper pockets and a stretch side panel so it's still comfortable and easy to move it. Use code yak for 20 off your first purchase. That's 20 off all pants, joggers, vests, and more. Use code yak and head over to rhopac.com. should we get Ethan down here? Yeah, I don't know if I. Ethan in. In the flesh is gonna hit different.

[Brandon]

Yeah. We can't just, like, minimize them.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. And like, call him up and just have him be there. Oh, nice. There's a poll. Should Lucas be full all time napkin?

[Kate]

Oh. Let the fans decide what they want to say.

[Big Cat]

98. Say yes.

[Kate]

Oh, well, being a man out of our hands. Hilarious.

[Ethan]

Yeah. A male napkin. Yeah.

[Kate]

Lucas does want the glory. He just doesn't want to put forth the work right. He wants. He knows the napkin is going to be the funniest part. Everybody's gonna be talking about the napkin.

[Brandon]

I don't think there's any shame in being an adult napkin.

[Kate]

He wants to fast forward to like three months from now when you're like, hey, man, remember when you were a napkin? That was awful. He wants that, but he doesn't want to do what it takes to get

[Ethan]

to one of the top men's napkins.

[Brandon]

I will do it for him and I will give him the credit for being napkin. If he wants.

[Ethan]

It's just.

[Kate]

You really want a napkin?

[Brandon]

I think it'll be so sparkle.

[Big Cat]

So funny. You look like it is Jackson Pollock.

[Brandon]

Yes. Just lay on. I'll be on everybody's lap.

[Steven]

Those.

[Brandon]

When they're done, use me.

[Ethan]

Like a massage.

[Brandon]

Yeah, right. It's like a massage.

[Ethan]

Lubricated massage that creates a piece of art.

[Kate]

Here he comes.

[Jerry]

Brandon sent me the jersey, by the way. I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

He said don't show it.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. Show it. He's not in here. Oh, okay.

[Brandon]

You ever seen the Dukes picture?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. What's the Duke's picture?

[Brandon]

We used to sell shirts that said triggered. And he was wearing a jacket over top.

[Big Cat]

Oh, dudes.

[Ethan]

Oh, yeah.

[Big Cat]

Who knew?

[Ethan]

I hate that. It tarnished his great look otherwise.

[Brandon]

Yeah, he's acting very disheveled.

[Ethan]

Ethan. Ethan.

[Kate]

What's up? Ethan?

[Steven]

Dude.

[Ethan]

Hello.

[Big Cat]

What's up? Great to see you, man.

[Ethan]

Great to see all you.

[Brandon]

Welcome to Chicago.

[Ethan]

Welcome to Chicago.

[Big Cat]

First time?

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Yep.

[Kate]

First.

[Ethan]

And how'd you get here? Via plane. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Nice.

[Ethan]

Yeah. Air travel. Any complications? I got patted down at security.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Kate]

How'd that feel?

[Ethan]

Like a male napkin. It worked. They patted me down. Yeah.

[Brandon]

They find anything?

[Ethan]

My belt. Found my belt.

[Big Cat]

Are you ready for tomorrow?

[Ethan]

Yeah. Ready as I'll ever be.

[Big Cat]

This.

[Brandon]

This is ready as you'll ever be.

[Big Cat]

Nothing.

[Ethan]

Are you at the peak of your. It's giving us enough prowess. Damn near the bottom.

[Brandon]

Kb Are you excited to be here?

[Ethan]

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Of course. I'm excited to play some poker this week.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So when does the tournament start?

[Ethan]

Friday.

[Steven]

All right.

[Big Cat]

So I'll get you cash before.

[Ethan]

Okay. Thank you.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

What did you win? Yeah.

[Tj]

Of Mincy's apartment.

[Big Cat]

Let's win.

[Ethan]

Let's win. Yeah. I thought you said when.

[Big Cat]

No, let's win.

[Ethan]

Win. W I n. So you're gonna.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Kate asked a question.

[Tj]

I was gonna say, what did you think of Mincy's apartment? Is that gonna help you or hinder you this week or you don't care?

[Ethan]

I feel like he's living above his means. Not to be mean.

[Tj]

No, that's fine.

[Ethan]

His apartment's very nice.

[Tj]

Are you air mattressing or a real bad.

[Ethan]

Air mattressing?

[Tj]

Okay.

[Ethan]

Deutsch was giving me rave reviews on the air mattress in Minty's apartment. So I am excited about that, too.

[Big Cat]

Okay. Are you gonna be, like, full in tomorrow? I need you full in.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I need you, like.

[Ethan]

Yeah, it's one of those things.

[Big Cat]

Your ass off.

[Ethan]

It's one of those things. I'll Play it down for right now. But, like, you know, as soon as that whistle goes, it's $10,000. Yeah. Demon time.

[Big Cat]

It's the. It's the World Series of Poker.

[Brandon]

And the punishment is Minty sleeping on top of you.

[Ethan]

Yeah. That's. You lose, that's like big who Framed Roger Rabbit? Right.

[Big Cat]

And I'll say this right now.

[Ethan]

Rolled over.

[Big Cat]

Ethan, if you don't win, I am not going to invest in you at the World Series. Poker.

[Ethan]

Poker.

[Brandon]

So you have to go to Vegas and not play, but just be slept upon.

[Ethan]

Yeah. That's more inspiration than ever.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I needed to mean something.

[Tj]

It's pointy, isn't it?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it is sharp.

[Kate]

It really is.

[Big Cat]

We saw your jersey, Brandon.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You should buy it.

[Steven]

So I should buy it?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Just keep it buttoned.

[Steven]

One screenshot.

[Big Cat]

Just keep it buttoned.

[Steven]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Keep it.

[Steven]

But can we see the head one more time?

[Kate]

What kind of challenges are you most worried about?

[Steven]

It's like an amp ad

[Ethan]

anything stamina based.

[Big Cat]

Okay. Not a lot of that.

[Ethan]

Okay. All right.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, not a lot of that.

[Brandon]

But how are you with, like, trivia?

[Ethan]

Fine.

[Big Cat]

How are you at drawing?

[Ethan]

Fine.

[Big Cat]

How are you.

[Steven]

How's your speed?

[Ethan]

Below average.

[Big Cat]

How are you getting burned physically?

[Brandon]

From flame.

[Big Cat]

Flame. Fire.

[Ethan]

I would have to assume that my skin reacts the same as everybody else's skin. You don't know, but I don't know.

[Big Cat]

Okay, so that's good.

[Steven]

That's. How are you staying awake for 36, 48 hours at a time?

[Ethan]

I'm getting there right now. I've been up since 3:30, so that's. Oh, yeah, that's coming up.

[Big Cat]

Holy. You're getting real close to that.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Wow.

[Big Cat]

It's almost. You've been almost awake for 10 hours.

[Kate]

Holy shit.

[Big Cat]

That's fucking insane.

[Brandon]

Are you exhausted right now?

[Ethan]

I'm very exhausted.

[Big Cat]

10 full hours.

[Ethan]

I mean, what time is it now? 12.

[Steven]

And like, almost one.

[Ethan]

Yeah, I'm just starting to get out of bed now.

[Steven]

The 3:30.

[Big Cat]

Oh, okay, that makes sense. You wake up at.

[Ethan]

Well, it depends on like, what's going on, but lately it's been like, you know what?

[Brandon]

Something that's going on?

[Ethan]

Not much.

[Big Cat]

What is your. What is your schedule in terms of like, what time do you go to bed at night and what time do you wake up?

[Ethan]

So it really revolves around when I have to go to my uncle's to watch the dog, which is usually around like noon to 1pm ish.

[Steven]

Okay.

[Ethan]

So I usually try to get to bed around like 1130 and then wake up by, like, 11.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Ethan]

It takes me, like, probably an hour to get out of bed.

[Big Cat]

You're a college kid permanently on, like, winter break.

[Ethan]

Yeah, my parents call me their roommate.

[Big Cat]

Oh.

[Steven]

How. Okay, it's all fun and games, but at some point, are your parents. Are they angry about it yet?

[Ethan]

That's a question for them, not for me.

[Brandon]

Have you sensed any anger or impatience?

[Ethan]

Impatience for sure.

[Steven]

How old are you?

[Ethan]

25. Quarter of a century.

[Jerry]

Mm.

[Steven]

Do you get the sense it's time to get up and get going?

[Brandon]

You're like Van Wilder.

[Ethan]

Yeah, but they'll never make that apparent to me. They'll kind of just.

[Steven]

No, no, no, no, no. The question.

[Big Cat]

I can't quit him.

[Steven]

The question. Do you get the sense it's time for you to get up and get moving?

[Ethan]

Internal drive, maybe. Guilt. Yeah, for sure. Some nights.

[Big Cat]

Some nights. But this is why I love you, Ethan. Because I don't think I've ever met someone who has such a lack of motivation, but also fully admits it. Zero doesn't.

[Ethan]

There are moments where I'll feel a tiny bit of inspiration, but then I'll just forget about it. And then it's, we're on to the next inspiration over.

[Brandon]

What, though?

[Ethan]

Again, it's totally situational. Like, if something. Something happens, I'm like, hell, yeah. That's awesome.

[Steven]

Is it fair you're that excited? Is it fair to say at some point Barstool was your dream job?

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Steven]

And then you had it. Dave put you on a one month trial and you. He.

[Big Cat]

No, no, no, no. He has it. If he. If he. This week was like, hey, I've thought a lot about it, and I want us to come back to Barstool, and I'm actually going to work, I would hire him. He won't tell me that he's going to work because he can't. He can't agree to that.

[Ethan]

Right. It's a big commitment.

[Kate]

What makes this your dream?

[Big Cat]

Which is why I love him. Because so many people will say what

[Brandon]

you want to hear.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, people will say what you want to hear, and then they won't follow through. Ethan will tell you exactly that. He's not going to follow through, and then he will not follow through.

[Brandon]

If you had a job here tomorrow, you rolled up to the office at 1, what would. Is there. Like, you have an idea of what you do make?

[Ethan]

Probably the same thing I did the first time I worked here, which is I'd probably sit there on my computer awkwardly, wait for someone to walk by and, like, make eye Contact with me. Say hello, what's up? Talk for two minutes. Not too dissimilar to what I've been doing here today.

[Steven]

So you did. You also had. You had the weirdest corner. Your desk was in the weirdest corner where we all had to walk by you.

[Ethan]

I also have a big staring problem.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

So, like, somebody would get up, I would notice them get up, and I'd watch them walk towards me the whole time and never break eye contact with them. And I don't think anybody ever wanted to.

[Steven]

So you did nothing and creep people out?

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Did you enjoy the job?

[Steven]

That's enough.

[Ethan]

Sure.

[Kate]

This idea that it was your dream job, is that an accurate assessment?

[Tj]

That's a good.

[Ethan]

That's a good point. I. I enjoyed the idea of it.

[Kate]

And what. In what way? What's the idea that you enjoy?

[Jerry]

What's.

[Kate]

What part of you makes you think that this would be your dream job?

[Ethan]

Doing nothing and getting a check? Man.

[Steven]

It's kind of hard for us to say that.

[Big Cat]

That's what I'm saying. His honesty is so disarming.

[Steven]

And tomorrow he's facing the ultimate do nothing.

[Brandon]

Does it make you want him more?

[Big Cat]

I do. I do. But again, it comes down to the simple fact that he'd have to, like, genuinely say, I'm gonna do something. And he won't do that.

[Brandon]

He'll stare at people.

[Big Cat]

But I love that.

[Steven]

But we have.

[Brandon]

Is maybe like, are you losing?

[Big Cat]

What I'm saying is. Yeah, people don't do anything, but at one point they said they were going to do something.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And then you buy that, that, that book of lies and you're like, all right, this will work out. Ethan. Ethan does not even want to say that.

[Steven]

Doesn't even switch.

[Big Cat]

Again. I respect the. Out of.

[Ethan]

I tried at one point. I don't know if you remember, I DM'd you way back. And I was like, I'm good. No breaks.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah. No. You said there are no days off, boss. And then you didn't do anything for three weeks.

[Ethan]

Yeah. That was a facade.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I found that out afterwards.

[Ethan]

Yep.

[Kate]

So these are our top two do nothing guys we got.

[Steven]

Correct. We just hired him and put him in charge of doing nothing.

[Brandon]

What's a salary that you couldn't say no to and would make you do stuff?

[Ethan]

I. I haven't even begun to. To think about a number like that.

[Steven]

It doesn't have a bank account.

[Kate]

That should be one.

[Big Cat]

He doesn't even have a dream salary.

[Kate]

One of the events tomorrow don't do anything. Just sit there. You think you're better than not doing anything than Mincy cut to him.

[Ethan]

Well, Mincy does things he likes a lot.

[Big Cat]

A lot, yeah.

[Ethan]

You kind of don't.

[Big Cat]

What do you do at night?

[Ethan]

You don't smoke weed, right? I smoke weed. Yeah. There.

[Kate]

How do you keep yourself entertained? What do you watch? You play video games? You watch movies?

[Ethan]

It goes in waves. I'm in a pretty big wrestling kick right now, so. I've been watching a lot of wrestling.

[Steven]

So you just.

[Ethan]

It'll cycle between like wrestling, UFC and like cartoons.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Tj]

Are you still doing the poker nights with your friends?

[Big Cat]

You're, you're.

[Ethan]

They stop coming.

[Big Cat]

You're like a walking like New York Times, like piece. Like, this generation of men have lost all hope. Yep, that's you.

[Ethan]

Oh, I know. Every time I read one of those articles, it's like, yep. Parents hate their kids.

[Big Cat]

It's like, yep, that's me.

[Steven]

You have, you have brothers, right?

[Ethan]

A brother, two of them.

[Steven]

Do they both do stuff?

[Ethan]

Yeah, One of them has like a job, a wife, you know, the other.

[Brandon]

Are you the, Are you the youngest?

[Ethan]

I am the middle child. Okay.

[Big Cat]

And the youngest one has what, just hangs out? He's with you?

[Ethan]

No. Well, he, he does stuff.

[Big Cat]

Does he live in your house?

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, so there's two of you?

[Ethan]

He's. He's a little younger. He has, you know, his own thing going on, so.

[Big Cat]

But there's two of you adult men living in your house?

[Ethan]

Yeah. Yeah. I think I kind of fly under the radar sometimes.

[Brandon]

Yeah, a lot.

[Big Cat]

Your parents deserve like something.

[Ethan]

Well, like even, like even like coming.

[Brandon]

They're getting a check from the government.

[Big Cat]

They have to be

[Ethan]

coming out here. It's like, what are you doing out there? Going out, hanging out with my friends.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Is that what you say?

[Ethan]

Yep. You don't say, like, oh, I'm going on this with this show and it's going to be a big event.

[Tj]

Nope.

[Kate]

They don't have follow up, a lot of attention. You're just hanging out with your friends.

[Ethan]

It could lead to a bigger opportunity. Yeah, I'm all right on. They don't need to watch that tomorrow.

[Brandon]

Did they watch you win the.

[Ethan]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Ethan]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Big Cat]

Well, that's.

[Ethan]

I made sure they watched that because for years I've been hosting these poker games in my parents basement, trying to tell them I'm gonna Texas hold' Em and they never really believed me. And then I won.

[Big Cat]

So. Would you ever like consider moving somewhere where you can play poker? Full time and giving that a shot.

[Ethan]

Yeah, for sure.

[Big Cat]

What's stopping you from doing that?

[Ethan]

Well, guess. Nothing. Invisible walls. Las Vegas.

[Big Cat]

I don't know.

[Steven]

Where.

[Ethan]

Where would you move to Las Vegas? Get a job as a server or a bartender and then.

[Big Cat]

Or closer to your. Closer to the casino in Connecticut?

[Ethan]

Yeah, I could in theory. I just, you know, I never get that far in terms of thinking.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Brandon]

Why'd your friends stop coming to your game? They all did it once. Or was it a trickle?

[Ethan]

No, it's one of those things. They all act like they're a part of the Beatles and every time I text they big time me and don't respond.

[Brandon]

What you mean one of those things?

[Steven]

What you mean is they have jobs and things they do, right? Jobs, girlfriends.

[Big Cat]

Wait, that's up These guys.

[Brandon]

He has a job. You must think he's in the Beatles, right?

[Steven]

He's saying that. What he means is they work.

[Brandon]

Look at all beetles here.

[Ethan]

Bob, Nick, Ryan, John, Paul, George, Ringo. Impossible to get a hold of them.

[Big Cat]

Oh, so they're doing stuff just cuz

[Brandon]

you had four, Is it cuz you had four?

[Big Cat]

What do they do? Do they do it? Do they have jobs?

[Ethan]

They big time me, that's all they do.

[Steven]

They have to work.

[Ethan]

Imagine you get a text on your phone, poker question mark. What do you do? You say no, right?

[Steven]

Like I. I would. I would, but I can. I gotta work tomorrow.

[Ethan]

But you would respond? You would give me the courtesy of response? Yes.

[Brandon]

They don't print him on.

[Steven]

I would.

[Brandon]

Well, are you texting them like on a Tuesday at midnight?

[Ethan]

Could they be a Tuesday at say 3pm?

[Brandon]

Do they all still live in your hometown?

[Ethan]

Oh, for sure.

[Brandon]

Do they all still live at their parents?

[Ethan]

90 of them.

[Steven]

Dude, they only have four or four.

[Ethan]

I know there's more than four. Those are just the biggest examples of.

[Big Cat]

Got it.

[Ethan]

The Beatles.

[Big Cat]

Did you beat them in poker too much?

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Oh, well, no.

[Ethan]

Then I understand we're playing nickel and dime poker here. It's, you know, you're only ever losing $20.

[Steven]

Where are you getting your money?

[Ethan]

I watch my uncle's dog.

[Steven]

Forgot about that.

[Big Cat]

Did you get your money yet? Oh my God, Ethan.

[Brandon]

Are you stressed about it?

[Ethan]

Try not to be.

[Big Cat]

Tell me if this is. I. I feel like I've figured you out and what your plans are. It's keep entering poker tournaments that I pay for until you make it. You win one of these and then World's unlocked.

[Ethan]

The world will become unlocked at some point. I'm not sure if that's the route But I would like that to be the route.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that feels like the route.

[Steven]

Is the world locked or do you just refuse to go to the door and try the door?

[Ethan]

Mentally locked? It's mentally locked. Is it?

[Brandon]

Does it? Is it based in fear?

[Steven]

Are you.

[Brandon]

Are you fear of failure?

[Ethan]

You know, there's no courage without fear, Nick.

[Steven]

So I think he's right.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, he is right.

[Ethan]

George St. Pierre.

[Big Cat]

Are you. Are you happy?

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Okay, good. I want you to be happy.

[Jerry]

That's.

[Ethan]

That's what I find. Happiness I care about. It doesn't take a lot for me to be happy, though.

[Big Cat]

That's great.

[Ethan]

You simple guy and lady. You have a lady? No, no, that was said. He's.

[Kate]

He's hanging out with the boys and.

[Brandon]

Oh, okay.

[Big Cat]

Oh, those kids.

[Kate]

Kate's the lady.

[Brandon]

Are you interested in like getting a girlfriend, settling down?

[Ethan]

They don't seem too interested in me, so that's why.

[Kate]

Why does it. What?

[Ethan]

For the same reasons you find that

[Brandon]

can all change tomorrow. Lack of effort, you know, what if tomorrow unlocks it?

[Steven]

What if you put maximum effort here and you, you shine and all of a sudden you're fucking back

[Ethan]

down, back.

[Steven]

Oh, I'll be goddamn.

[Tj]

Outside of poker, when was the last time you felt like passionate and excited about something you were doing? Like, what was that?

[Ethan]

Maybe something simple like a night out, trying out a new restaurant. I get really passionate about really stupid things. There is any EA NHL, like the video game. We had a hockey team that I cared about a lot.

[Tj]

It was like an online.

[Ethan]

Yeah, everybody controls their own player.

[Tj]

Okay.

[Ethan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tj]

That's so gaming.

[Ethan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Steven]

Were you good?

[Ethan]

I was mediocre.

[Steven]

Just trying.

[Brandon]

What was the team called?

[Ethan]

The Melon Heads.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

And you would play as one player and your friends?

[Ethan]

I would play as the left defenseman

[Big Cat]

and everyone else who plays someone.

[Ethan]

Yeah. So it's a little upsetting because I'd be a defending defenseman too. So I'd sit back and watch everybody pass it to each other and score all the goals.

[Big Cat]

So even in your virtual world you're just not doing much?

[Ethan]

Yeah, no, I'll get one stretch pass assist and be like, hell yeah, boys. To see that. They're like, we've scored five goals this game. It doesn't matter here nor there, I guess.

[Brandon]

Would you like to be like the

[Ethan]

right hand man of someone who's taking more agency, someone successful, like helping them out? Yeah, sure. I could be a right hand man. I think that's like an assistant role. Yeah, I was born to like.

[Steven]

I think that's the worst job.

[Ethan]

Play second fiddle. You know what I mean?

[Steven]

You're the.

[Big Cat]

You're the guy behind the guy.

[Ethan]

I'm the guy behind the guy.

[Jerry]

That.

[Brandon]

That carries a lot of respons.

[Steven]

Right. That person has to work their ass off.

[Kate]

That's a lot of work.

[Big Cat]

It's also, like, very. You're third with yourself to.

[Steven]

To know.

[Big Cat]

Most people wouldn't admit that, you know, like, be like, oh, I'm. I'm a perfect second fiddle.

[Kate]

But that guy has to do all the work. So. The first fiddle.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you might be third fiddle.

[Steven]

I don't want to be honest. I think you're on the triangle or something.

[Kate]

I'm gonna re. Ask a question. I want to re. Ask what Nick already asked.

[Ethan]

Yep.

[Kate]

Maybe we'll get an answer this time. Time when you have your. Your inspirational moments. What. What. What does that look like? What does that feel like? What are you inspired to do? Do you. Are you sitting at home? And when you say you get inspired every so often, are you like, I should go run a mile.

[Brandon]

I should create something.

[Kate]

I should write a novel. I should. What. What does that. What does you being inspired mean?

[Ethan]

It's fleeting. Like a hiccup.

[Kate]

Yeah, but really, when was the last time you were inspired? What were you inspired to do?

[Ethan]

Play cards. I like playing cards.

[Kate]

But you don't. Do you need. I don't take much for that.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Yeah, sure. Well, it's like. It's like anything in life, though.

[Brandon]

Have your parents ever threatened you with, like, military want to send you off?

[Big Cat]

Oh, are you worried about World War three happening? Might get drafted?

[Ethan]

No, that's one of those situations I'd like. I'd be upset at first and then, like, find a weird sense of patriot. Patriotism.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Be like, hell, yeah.

[Steven]

There it is.

[Ethan]

The operation and my country.

[Steven]

It would die in such a funny way.

[Big Cat]

I actually think he'd live.

[Steven]

You think?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Entire battalion would die, and he'd be like, I don't know. I was just. I was just sitting here. They all died. All right, well, Ethan, we're excited for tomorrow.

[Ethan]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

Is there anything you want to do while you're in Chicago?

[Ethan]

Win a poker tournament.

[Big Cat]

There we go.

[Steven]

Wow. You're gonna be here for a week, huh?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, for a while, yeah.

[Ethan]

Wow.

[Steven]

Well, all right.

[Big Cat]

We'll get ready for tomorrow.

[Ethan]

Yep.

[Big Cat]

I want full. Full effort, Ethan.

[Ethan]

Okay. Yeah, listen. You'll get full effort.

[Big Cat]

Love that. I don't know.

[Brandon]

Who's watching the dogs?

[Ethan]

Not me.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no. Is there anyone?

[Ethan]

Yeah, I think my uncles Are watching them for now. Until.

[Steven]

What if they learn they can just watch the dogs? They don't need you.

[Ethan]

You guys would be on the hook for that.

[Big Cat]

Fair? Fair.

[Ethan]

It cost me my job.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

They're moving. They're moving anyway, right?

[Ethan]

Yeah. But there, it's probably like an hour away from where they are now. So they're.

[Brandon]

So you're still gonna be dog sitting at that other house.

[Ethan]

That's what they are interpreted or assuming at least.

[Big Cat]

So do you have a nice commute?

[Ethan]

Yeah, yeah. I drive. Have an hour there and back.

[Big Cat]

What kind of car are you driving?

[Ethan]

2005 Honda Pilot.

[Big Cat]

Nice.

[Ethan]

Shout out. Robin Camps. Her old car.

[Brandon]

Is that your mom?

[Ethan]

That is my mom.

[Big Cat]

Shout out. Shout out. All right, thanks.

[Ethan]

All right, fellas.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah. Excited for tomorrow.

[Brandon]

Robin Camps.

[Big Cat]

I.

[Ethan]

My dad was Batman because my mom's name was Robin.

[Big Cat]

Happened.

[Brandon]

Oh, Fair assumption.

[Big Cat]

Nice.

[Brandon]

What's your dad's name?

[Jerry]

Don.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Kate]

Ethan. Gonna beat you finally. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Thanks, Ethan. Yeah.

[Ethan]

I.

[Brandon]

What is he, six one?

[Steven]

I don't.

[Tj]

He's tall.

[Big Cat]

So I, I, I've, I can't decide if he is either one. Just figured out life.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Could be two.

[Steven]

Even walks lazily.

[Big Cat]

He is really depressed. We got to get him some.

[Steven]

I don't think that's it. Because unless he's been depressed 100% of the time I've ever seen him in

[Big Cat]

my life, he hasn't changed.

[Tj]

Didn't we have like a panic before where we thought he was super depressed and it turns out he was just chilling. He was fine.

[Big Cat]

He just kind of exists. And so I think it's like, it's like almost like a, like a Big Lebowski guy. Like, he's like the dude dude.

[Brandon]

He's either very Zen. He's achieved nirvana.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Or ready to die.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. He did say he's happy.

[Steven]

Maybe we're living life wrong, I think.

[Tj]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Where is he from?

[Big Cat]

Connecticut. Yeah.

[Brandon]

See, if he was like, in a tropical place, he could be like, you know, the beach bartender type without a care in the world. The problem is in Connecticut, I don't

[Big Cat]

think he'd be the beach bartender. They'd have to work.

[Brandon]

Maybe it's like, does he need. Sometimes people get overwhelmed by, like, the lack of structure here, where it's like you could do anything so they don't know what to do. You think if you, like, gave him things to do, he would.

[Steven]

We did. When he was here. They put him on a one month trial. And you talked to him too? All he had to do was blog. They Told him blog. Blog, Right, Yeah, blog once a day, blog once or whatever. And he didn't.

[Big Cat]

So he's kind of doing exactly what he should be doing right now. And I think the poker thing is real. Like, he wants to. If he wins a big one, it could, but he just kind of win a.

[Brandon]

He won a big one, but he just wanted to win. He didn't care about the money.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. It's been six months. He hasn't gotten the money.

[Brandon]

What is he panicked? Every.

[Kate]

Why is poker broken through? He seems not interested in anything.

[Brandon]

It's a lot of doing nothing.

[Big Cat]

It's kind of a sedentary mind game that he likes.

[Brandon]

He's impossible to read.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, true, huh? What an enigma. Yeah.

[Tj]

We don't know if he's the happiest man ever or he's like a day from death.

[Big Cat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Tj]

He's just not a beat on it.

[Jerry]

It.

[Big Cat]

He.

[Brandon]

He has to win tomorrow.

[Steven]

Those parents, man. Those parents.

[Tj]

What if they just rule to live with? What if they make, like.

[Steven]

What if their house is just the best.

[Tj]

What if they make the best dinners every night? And it's like, I would stay there too.

[Ethan]

Is he being humble? Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I also. I mean, like, obviously you want your kids to. To go out and do their thing, but I don't know, it's probably nice, too, having your kids still living at home. Yeah.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Do they talk?

[Kate]

Happy and healthy is all you really want, right? He's got both. And.

[Tj]

And what if they're chill like him, and they're like, he'll find his way. Like, what if they just.

[Kate]

It is wild, though, how he doesn't even try to hide that. Like, he does.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Kate]

A lot of guys in his position would be like, I got some things going on.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Kate]

So I'm gonna try to, you know, still young, you know, he just wakes

[Big Cat]

up, tweets, we move, picks up, dog, goes home.

[Brandon]

25 is like, uhhuh. It's. It's.

[Big Cat]

It's getting close.

[Brandon]

Getting close.

[Big Cat]

Close.

[Steven]

He's in a tough spot because the

[Brandon]

thing that he is best at costs money, and he doesn't make any money,

[Steven]

so he can't really do that.

[Brandon]

Like, I wonder if he. If.

[Big Cat]

But he could make add, but then

[Steven]

that would take away from time if he just. Yeah, I guess, tells big cat, I will do the work you want me to do.

[Brandon]

If he had a million dollars, would

[Steven]

he play poker every day?

[Big Cat]

Probably.

[Steven]

I don't think million dollars changes his life.

[Big Cat]

No, I think he'd probably Live at home.

[Kate]

Yeah. I have a fast.

[Big Cat]

I think he might have it figured out. Yeah, he's just got.

[Kate]

Was blogging too open ended. Like, does he need a job where it's like, I need five whatchamacallits every day. Take the whatchamacallitz, put it over there,

[Ethan]

put it in the box.

[Kate]

And you can do that every day.

[Big Cat]

You should just hire them and like, put like a stack of bricks on one side of the.

[Kate]

Yeah. Just have them carry the.

[Big Cat]

All you got to do is get over here.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

And then tomorrow do it again.

[Steven]

Have him set the gauntlet up every day,

[Kate]

man.

[Brandon]

Are him and Mincy the same or opposite?

[Steven]

They're the.

[Big Cat]

They're.

[Steven]

They're the same.

[Big Cat]

He's honest. Miny correct.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yes, he's honest. Non narcissistic.

[Brandon]

I don't think he take advantage of any.

[Big Cat]

No, he'll give it to you straight.

[Ethan]

But he's not like, lazy in the classic sense where he's just stuffing his face with junk food and napping all the time.

[Big Cat]

He does.

[Ethan]

He seems to be awake.

[Big Cat]

He sleeps till 11.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

11 is a long time.

[Kate]

It's a lot of sleep.

[Big Cat]

That's a lot of day that's gone.

[Ethan]

I just want something to work with.

[Big Cat]

I know.

[Ethan]

Be like here.

[Brandon]

I was hoping for like a little, like, hint, but that's like a little anything. Like a twinkle.

[Big Cat]

It gives you nothing.

[Ethan]

Like, hey, I would like to maybe do this one day.

[Brandon]

I think the, the patriotism thing was a hint. Like, he was like, if I'm assigned this, then I will end up.

[Big Cat]

Sign him up for war.

[Kate]

We gotta sign him up for war.

[Big Cat]

We gotta sign him up for war.

[Kate]

Better time.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

No, let him know tomorrow.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Tj]

We could call a recruiter right now.

[Big Cat]

What a guy.

[Kate]

Fascinating.

[Big Cat]

I want him to win so bad.

[Brandon]

I need it.

[Big Cat]

I do think he's gonna give maximum effort tomorrow because he's got nothing. Like, oh, he's proud.

[Brandon]

On the prowl.

[Big Cat]

Oh, he's on the prowl. We do the Slim Jim ad. Brandon, you're the best. I love you so much.

[Steven]

What are you doing? Okay.

[Brandon]

All right.

[Steven]

You know, we never really took it as a red flag, but when, when, when everybody got here, Chicago, everybody upstairs, all the content people found their desk and settled.

[Tj]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Steven]

And he just went to a corner without a desk. And we didn't read into it that he's just not going to do it. Like, that's what everybody looks like. And he sits at a round table in the corner without plugs, without anything.

[Brandon]

His laptop is Just constantly charging right next to the sink.

[Steven]

When you feel like you've had enough and ready to snap, snap into a Slim Jim instead. Slim Jim's iconic snap turns any moment of annoyance into satisfaction. We love meat, and Slim Jim is the ultimate meat stick to satisfy your meat cravings. Available in multiple sizes to match your hunger. You can't go wrong with an OG long stick. Looking for something more? Try a monster or savage size. Or load up on the short sticks for your meat stash at home or at the office. When life makes you want to snap, snap into a Slim Jim. With its bold, meaty flavor, iconic spice, and signature snap, Slim Jim is the smoked meat stick that helps you reclaim the moment. Snaps back at the world. Snap into a Slim Jim. Grab one today. Everywhere, snacks are sold. Tj, you don't get enough credit because the mince cam is somehow perfect. The right angle.

[Brandon]

I love the mince cam.

[Steven]

This is the right angle to catch exactly what we're doing.

[Tj]

We got some emotion going on.

[Brandon]

Oh, he's tweaking out.

[Tj]

Don't touch it. Don't touch it.

[Steven]

He's not supposed to touch it.

[Brandon]

Tells you he should be wearing a cone.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Tj]

Little flakes going everywhere.

[Steven]

He's doing nothing but touching it.

[Tj]

Oh, Mincy's scratching his head. The top of his head.

[Brandon]

I'm very curious how the bobbing for apples goes tomorrow.

[Big Cat]

I.

[Steven]

He's a. When the lights get bright, Mintz turns it on. I can't think. He's gonna not go all the way.

[Tj]

Can he put a swim cap on? Is he allowed to wear a hat now? Can you put a little swim cap over it?

[Brandon]

His whole body gets wet during that.

[Big Cat]

I don't.

[Steven]

Yeah, I could see a swim cap.

[Big Cat]

I'm so excited for tomorrow. Some of our best moments have been from these. From the. From the Mincy pro day. And we're not getting crazy like slippery stairs. Last year, that was.

[Steven]

I think, think grilled cheese is top five moment in yak history.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I mean, Chinese order.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And in the moment, the suck off wasn't great, but it went.

[Big Cat]

Oh, it's gonna go yummy viral.

[Brandon]

It escaped the confines of barstool.

[Big Cat]

It will happen again. Yeah, it will happen again. Steven, give us another thought starter.

[Steven]

Okay, start our thoughts.

[Big Cat]

Stephen, get us going. Get us going down a rabbit hole.

[Steven]

Our fitted hat's dead.

[Brandon]

No, I think they're back in a big way.

[Steven]

What?

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Who brought them back?

[Brandon]

College kids are wearing them backwards again. Oh.

[Kate]

Oh.

[Big Cat]

Huh?

[Brandon]

I think they're back.

[Big Cat]

I don't. I Never was a fitted hat guy.

[Brandon]

They look too big.

[Jerry]

We.

[Brandon]

We talked about this, I think last week. How like MLB players have never stopped wearing them. So hard to say they were ever gone, but yeah, in style. There was a time where you're getting clowned for wearing a fitted hat several years ago.

[Big Cat]

Tj, do you have anything to say about Aaron Judge?

[Brandon]

About his speech?

[Big Cat]

The worst speech ever given.

[Steven]

What did he do?

[Big Cat]

Did you not see his pump up speech? The World Baseball Classic?

[Steven]

I didn't.

[Big Cat]

We're gonna lose by a billion.

[Brandon]

Captain America didn't pump up.

[Big Cat]

Oh, my God.

[Jerry]

It's.

[Big Cat]

I don't even know.

[Steven]

What'd he do? Ew.

[Big Cat]

It just wasn't it. I felt nothing for your family home.

[Steven]

You're sacrificing for your country and you're sacrificing for the brothers in the trenches with you every single day. And that's one thing I want us to do.

[Big Cat]

Fellas, you know, we're down. We're beat up a little bit, man. You know, lean into each other, man.

[Steven]

We're gonna lay a hollow line.

[Big Cat]

If we do that, we're bringing the gold home, man. I'm telling you.

[Steven]

Sacrifice.

[Big Cat]

That's it.

[Brandon]

Ethan would have done better.

[Big Cat]

That's it.

[Brandon]

The ultimate, like. Don't know what I'm talking about. As I'm talking is this.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Tj]

Searching.

[Big Cat]

I mean, what was that, tj?

[Brandon]

I'm focused on the Yankees. Did you see Shohei's?

[Big Cat]

Was it awesome?

[Brandon]

Sick and in Japanese.

[Big Cat]

Oh, I want to see that.

[Brandon]

Oh, my God.

[Big Cat]

We're judge. Just talking about sack. Like, what are we even sacrificing? They're just playing. They're already getting ready for baseball. Sacrifice your family. Sacrifice your brothers. And if we do that.

[Jerry]

Music blurring Damn.

[Big Cat]

Damn, it looks sick.

[Brandon]

It was sick.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. I'm not. I'm not too.

[Kate]

Men.

[Ethan]

Men don't. People don't learn to give speeches.

[Big Cat]

What do you mean? You think it's an innate ability?

[Brandon]

Well, like if you're like a CEO of Pepsi, Brandon's going to write it for you.

[Steven]

True.

[Ethan]

Yeah, true.

[Big Cat]

But what do you mean? Like I. The people?

[Steven]

Exact opposite.

[Big Cat]

There are people who are good public speakers.

[Ethan]

I know. It is a skill.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

It is different than baseball.

[Brandon]

Being around Gruden. He can just do it for anything, anytime. Is it dying?

[Ethan]

And it's more of a personality trait.

[Big Cat]

It's a leader of men trait.

[Brandon]

But I think that archetype is dying even in coaches. Like, I think NFL coaches are like young wonder kids now. I don't think they're going to get you pumped up.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, true. So we're losing.

[Steven]

There's still. I feel like there's still somebody. There's the strength coach on a team will get everybody going. Somebody's getting everybody going.

[Big Cat]

I will say in Aaron Judge's defense, baseball is the last sport possible for like, pump up speech.

[Steven]

Also.

[Big Cat]

They don't like you're gonna run out, like, let's go kill them. And then if you're the left fielder, you just go and stand in grass the most. Yeah, yeah.

[Kate]

Knees and how do you say, like run through a brick wall.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Kate]

162 times in a season.

[Ethan]

Right.

[Brandon]

And I don't think.

[Big Cat]

Love it.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Maybe it's just because it's in Japanese.

[Steven]

That kind of sucked too.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, maybe baseball.

[Brandon]

I watched the music. I don't think it got me hyped up.

[Ethan]

It's a speech excitability. Does it help baseball? Does it help you at the plate where you have to be very strategic and tactical about which ball you swing at?

[Big Cat]

Right. And like all other sports, you go out like you say, let's go get them. And then you immediately can go out and like run and like get that energy.

[Brandon]

Right.

[Ethan]

And hit, hit.

[Big Cat]

Or even, like, if anything, you should

[Steven]

be like, you got to be even in baseball.

[Ethan]

Meditative.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe it was a great speech.

[Brandon]

It's perfect.

[Tj]

Have any of you ever witnessed, like, you at the high level of basketball, like a speech that actually worked on you where you're like, oh, you know what?

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Tj]

Really?

[Kate]

A lot of. A lot of, like big. Basketball is a speed.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Tj]

That seems like a big momentum.

[Ethan]

Teamwork.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Tj]

I don't think I've ever.

[Steven]

So what's number one speech sport, hockey or football? Football.

[Kate]

I think football. I thought the.

[Brandon]

There's probably like 10 speeches a game in football.

[Kate]

I don't think it was bad. I think it's just Herb Brooks at the bar. So high. But the, the speech we gave to the USA boys, the coach gave to the. Before the gold medal was just whatever.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I remember, like, I remember locking in on it because I was like, what's he gonna say to the boys? And he was like, let's just. Time is now, I guess. All right.

[Big Cat]

I guess ran out of time. All right, Stephen, next one thought starter.

[Steven]

Where was it?

[Brandon]

How do you feel about grown men eating lollipops?

[Steven]

You've run this one before.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

It's time.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. What number are you on, Steven? Didn't you say you're going to track your Lollipops.

[Steven]

Oh, what's your crush?

[Big Cat]

12.

[Brandon]

Last.

[Big Cat]

What's your New Year's?

[Steven]

12.

[Big Cat]

What's your New Year's resolution?

[Brandon]

I copied you. I'm going to try and do a zipline.

[Big Cat]

You copied my New Year's resolution?

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Oh, that's like sleeping with your wife.

[Big Cat]

How could you do that? What?

[Steven]

Yeah, I thought that was pretty cool. You didn't with your own.

[Brandon]

I'm not saying I'm going to do it.

[Big Cat]

I'm out on zipline.

[Steven]

But also like, no, you keep yours.

[Big Cat]

He has to come Ch. Ch.

[Brandon]

Your resolution is complete if you try.

[Big Cat]

Mine was like, if it's.

[Brandon]

You go and it's closed. That's still resolution.

[Big Cat]

I was jok. No, no, no, no, no.

[Kate]

Stephen, we need to take another man.

[Big Cat]

You can't take another man's resolution, especially a hyper specific one.

[Brandon]

This is going to be like. You have to do it while not breathing one arm. Same with swimming.

[Big Cat]

You just said that doing a zip line is not hyper specific. I think that's an activity that's pretty hyper specific to be like. My goal this year is to zipline once also.

[Steven]

That's.

[Big Cat]

That's my goal.

[Brandon]

And you're definitely gonna go with Big

[Big Cat]

Cat if he ever. I think I'm the most offended I've ever been with you.

[Jerry]

You.

[Big Cat]

That's crazy.

[Steven]

Copying a resolution's crazy.

[Big Cat]

It's cr. Especially that one.

[Steven]

It's about self bettering or doing something for yourself.

[Big Cat]

How long have you been walking around copying that in your head?

[Brandon]

It's a scumbag movie.

[Steven]

I just said New Year's. I was like, yeah, I'll just.

[Big Cat]

What the.

[Tj]

It's like taking a friend's baby name.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. I hate you right now.

[Steven]

Did you not have time to think

[Brandon]

of your own final bill in the resolution?

[Big Cat]

This is done.

[Steven]

Wow.

[Big Cat]

You guys agree? That's crazy.

[Kate]

That's crazy.

[Big Cat]

That's a crazy.

[Brandon]

Guys don't even have New Year's move.

[Ethan]

It's a crazy resident.

[Kate]

Well, mine's zipline, but yeah, that's mine.

[Brandon]

So did you hear his.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And then try to think of one. And then gave up and just took his. Or were you like, No, I just heard. It was like, oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, I'll do that too. I mean, oh, immediate. It's basically, I want to come ziplining with you. I would rather. You know, it wasn't even meant to be together. I mean, ziplining is a vacation thing. Well, it can be taking a man's resolution, then doing it before him.

[Steven]

It's cr. Yeah.

[Brandon]

You should be allowed to do.

[Big Cat]

That's why I think I had signed you up, because I don't know he's gonna go.

[Brandon]

You would take us. You would do a zip line and not publicize it?

[Steven]

You. Yeah, I guess I would.

[Big Cat]

I guess I'm happy I found out now, because that actually is like, what would have happened in the middle of the summer. You've been like, new Year's resolution check mark Zipline. And I would have been furious.

[Steven]

Maybe this is good, though, because last year, he came up with a resolution. He just didn't do even close. But in the year that he did it, he became a wine sommelier. Yeah. So now he focuses on zipline. Who knows what he becomes this year.

[Brandon]

Chad, do they have a zipline in Door County? I'm not going there this year.

[Jerry]

What?

[Steven]

The king of Door County. I'm going to New Buffalo.

[Brandon]

Kyle, that was the most disappointed I've

[Ethan]

ever not going to. You're not going to Door County.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I know.

[Tj]

Wait, Fourth of July week?

[Brandon]

No, Sometime in August.

[Steven]

Yeah, apparently. You're going to new Buffalo on 4th of July week?

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[Steven]

Excited?

[Brandon]

Yeah, I'm excited to explore.

[Tj]

I'll tell you where the caramels are.

[Steven]

I got to play in mine. I don't know where I'm going yet this summer.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, I mean, you never do. And then, like, a day before, you're like, I'm thinking about going here this weekend. And then. And then, like, an hour later, you're like. Like, all the things are booked.

[Steven]

I'll probably just end up in Orange Beach. I did send my.

[Big Cat]

What would you think if I went to Door county this weekend? That cool? Yeah, sure. Okay.

[Steven]

It was all booked.

[Big Cat]

All books.

[Steven]

Yeah, I was. And that was for Labor Day week.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Steven]

I. I did send my wife in May. She's going to Lisbon, Portugal.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

So that's cool.

[Steven]

Yeah. So. So I got. I did do that one early, but now I got to figure out a family vacation. Probably Orange beach again. I hope I can get the same house. That was a good house.

[Big Cat]

You could do it, right?

[Steven]

Still haven't been to Boy. How. Huh?

[Big Cat]

You. You made a wish, like, I hope I win the lottery.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

You just said, I hope I get the same house. You. You control that.

[Steven]

Yeah, you're right. You're right.

[Brandon]

Ethan's wearing off.

[Steven]

I'm gonna check.

[Big Cat]

I hope I get the house that I can book right this second. I hope it's available with my phone in my hand.

[Brandon]

Speaking of house and did you get rid of mamas?

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah. It's not wood.

[Steven]

Can I knock on your penis?

[Brandon]

Yeah, knock on my penis.

[Steven]

We have. We have an offer. We're going through the process right now where they're doing inspection and hopefully everything closing at the end of the month. We're closing at the end of the

[Tj]

month, so don't say anything about, like, the gerbils that were kept in the basement and stuff like that.

[Steven]

You.

[Big Cat]

Has your mom expressed any remorse for leaving?

[Steven]

No. No, I haven't talked to her.

[Jerry]

Oh.

[Steven]

It's probably gonna be a while before I talk to her.

[Big Cat]

Oh, it's a little icy.

[Steven]

A little icy. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, that's fair.

[Steven]

Yeah. If I need to know something, Caitlin will get the information for me.

[Big Cat]

Well, that's good. Brandon.

[Steven]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Someone.

[Steven]

Huh?

[Big Cat]

You found someone?

[Steven]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big Cat]

It's weight off your shoulders.

[Steven]

It really is. Found somebody before we put it officially on the market.

[Brandon]

That's nice. I'm happy for you.

[Big Cat]

Flip this house.

[Steven]

No, no.

[Brandon]

Are you selling it? Did you lose money?

[Steven]

I didn't lose money.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Steven]

I'm not gonna.

[Brandon]

Yeah, I'm happy for you because I could tell that was really.

[Steven]

Oh, it's been weighing. Yeah, it's been weighing a lot. Imagine it's been weighing a lot.

[Ethan]

But.

[Steven]

But hopefully speaking away.

[Brandon]

And did you see how bad the scary movie looks? Yeah, I saw that trailer came out abysmal.

[Kate]

The new.

[Ethan]

Yeah, it looks.

[Brandon]

Yeah. What is it?

[Steven]

Six?

[Brandon]

I don't even know which one it is.

[Steven]

Yeah, it is six, but those were

[Brandon]

never the first one I thought was

[Steven]

good, but they were funny for the. For our time.

[Brandon]

Yeah, it was like.

[Steven]

But they're still funny for that time.

[Big Cat]

Three was good.

[Steven]

Was it?

[Brandon]

I never made fun of signs.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Signs.

[Steven]

I do like the first scary movie. I thought I really enjoyed it, but it. I think if I watched it now, it wouldn't be as funny as it was to me back then.

[Brandon]

That's fair. I'm a white boy, but my neck is red.

[Steven]

You know?

[Brandon]

Brandon, sing it. Is that from three? Yeah, I put Miracle Whip in my Wonder Bread. I don't remember that.

[Tj]

Oh, hbo. Ben Stiller produced a documentary about bowling. Do you remember when we did that bowling competition outside the city? Oh, yeah, the guy with the hair, the bowler. Yeah, he's in it. He's like, a key part of this documentary that's coming out on HBO soon.

[Big Cat]

Are you on, like, a newsletter that gets you, like, updated with documentaries?

[Tj]

I love documentaries, dude. I'm Watching one right now about the coal miner strike in Kentucky in 1970. County, whatever county. Why that was crazy.

[Steven]

Why are you watching that?

[Tj]

It's fascinating. It's history. I think it's on hbo.

[Big Cat]

You're gonna get.

[Tj]

It's Harlan County.

[Steven]

Watch it.

[Tj]

Harlan County.

[Steven]

He's a doc guy too.

[Tj]

The coal miners, the people who ran the coal mines. These guys are making like 8 cents an hour in like 1970. Whatever you could.

[Brandon]

You could only spend money like within the coal mine community.

[Tj]

Within the coal mine. And they didn't have hot running water and like electricity. It was like the seventies at this point. And then this mine blew up and killed like 78 miners. And it was.

[Big Cat]

And then Slate watch.

[Tj]

It's highly recommend. Harley county. The leader of the. The union like put a hit on the other dude. It's like murder.

[Kate]

Yes, I'll watch it.

[Tj]

Harlan County. Watch it. Let me know.

[Kate]

I'll watch it.

[Tj]

It's a little depressing, but it's also really interesting.

[Kate]

Watch that.

[Big Cat]

Jerry.

[Tj]

Here's the big cheese.

[Big Cat]

Oh, no.

[Brandon]

I was devastated for you, Jer.

[Ethan]

Jerry.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

I have a lot going on, so

[Brandon]

I need my money stuff to be easy.

[Big Cat]

That's why I use Acorns.

[Brandon]

It saves and invests my money.

[Big Cat]

Thinking about it, Acorns rounds up my everyday purchases and invest the spare change automatically.

[Brandon]

Coffee investing. Uber investing.

[Big Cat]

Online shopping.

[Brandon]

I regret also investing. I just swipe Acorns. Does the rest sign up now and get a 20 bonus investment.

[Big Cat]

Head to acorns.com barstool or download the Acorns app.

[Brandon]

Individual customer of Acorns and receive cash

[Big Cat]

compensation of Tier 1 for providing this

[Brandon]

testimonial compensation provides incentive for customer to

[Big Cat]

recommend Acorns and all opinions may be

[Brandon]

biased Testimonials not representative of the experience

[Big Cat]

of all customers and not guarantees a

[Steven]

future performance or success.

[Big Cat]

Success.

[Brandon]

Investment advisory products and services offered by

[Big Cat]

Acorns Advisors LLC and SE registered investment advisor. Jerry. How bad was it though? For real?

[Steven]

I'll say.

[Jerry]

The kid. The kids were. The kids didn't know really what was going on. The teachers is what got me.

[Big Cat]

Were they laughing at you?

[Jerry]

Yeah, Ms. P was laugh. Giggling.

[Big Cat]

Giggling.

[Jerry]

G giggling with Ms. P. Was giggling with Ms. Bay.

[Big Cat]

Oh no.

[Kate]

Nobody tried to help?

[Jerry]

No. Well, no, no. I will say this. When I went to drop them off this morning, I walked in and they were like, oh, the big cheese.

[Big Cat]

Oh no.

[Jerry]

But that's good.

[Big Cat]

No, I don't think so.

[Tj]

It's endearing.

[Big Cat]

They got from you not being able

[Brandon]

to read a kid's book. So how did you pronounce the words?

[Jerry]

I think unexpectedly, I think was one of the. Was the. Was the point to it again?

[Steven]

Inexplicably.

[Jerry]

Yeah, I think I said inexplicably. And then the other one was igniting indignity. Now I know it. But I said IGD or something like that.

[Steven]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Are there other words that you didn't get to.

[Jerry]

I skipped. Like, I panicked. So, like, when I got to those words, I. I was skipping pages just to try to get the book.

[Big Cat]

I'm gonna find it.

[Brandon]

You were skipping pages just to try

[Jerry]

to get through the book?

[Brandon]

Yeah. Does the story make sense if you skip pages still?

[Jerry]

I'll be honest. Probably not. But there's some big words in there. Like, I know, like, I get it, but like, I've been out the reading game since 16, 17, you know?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Steven]

Dude, scroll on your phone and you look at Twitter, right? Yeah, that's reading.

[Jerry]

I'm talking about books

[Brandon]

now.

[Big Cat]

Books.

[Brandon]

What's the story about

[Ethan]

with the children following along?

[Jerry]

There's. There's the Big Cheese. And then there's. There's. There's a Wedgman. Wedgman.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Jerry]

And then there's Gouda. I think the big cheese ends up losing.

[Ethan]

Losing what?

[Jerry]

Something. I think Wedgman. Wedgman wins something. And then finally at the end, the big cheese is like, hey, it's. Oh, it's okay. Like, I'll get him next time.

[Brandon]

You know, if there was a kids show that could teach you how to read these words, that'd be amazing. If only, if only.

[Big Cat]

You know what I mean?

[Jerry]

If only.

[Steven]

Well, those are the only two big words in the book.

[Jerry]

No, there's got to be more.

[Ethan]

Were you the only parent who came in to read.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jerry]

Yesterday. Yeah.

[Tj]

I will say, just from looking, that is a long and very wordy book.

[Jerry]

Yeah, that's like a lot of.

[Ethan]

Not for young children.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

No, they put the words right in

[Ethan]

the crease of cheesiest piece of cheddar around.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Know, look at. Also, my delivery is bad too. Is like, you know when you're reading and you're like. You don't know when to pause.

[Brandon]

You gotta have a cadence.

[Jerry]

Yeah, the cadence is here.

[Big Cat]

Try reading this page for it.

[Kate]

Did you do character?

[Brandon]

And now, Jerry, were you. Were you holding it out so they could see it? You're reading it upside down.

[Jerry]

That was another problem is so they had my son in the chair next to me, and then I would. I would have to hold the book like this and then look over. So that was A problem.

[Big Cat]

All right, so hold it out like you would, because you gotta. You gotta try to trial run.

[Jerry]

Which page?

[Big Cat]

That one. That whole page?

[Jerry]

This one?

[Big Cat]

Yeah. All right.

[Brandon]

That's how you're holding it. And reading.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Like this.

[Ethan]

And I'm your son?

[Jerry]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Ethan]

Okay.

[Jerry]

How did I get such a good, or should I say, gouda, reputation? Well, I wasn't always a big shot. I grew up on a crowded platter in a tiny kitchen. I was an unremarkable little Kurd. We lived quiet lives of pasteurization.

[Big Cat]

Yes.

[Jerry]

Got it. But I wasn't happy with the status quo. Oh, no. I wanted to make a big old name for myself. So I resolved to become a big cheese. I wanted praise. The cheers, the spotlight, the attention, the evasions, the celebrations. I set to work, and before long, I was on the fast track to success. I dressed to impress. I shredded the competition. I stole every show.

[Big Cat]

There you go.

[Brandon]

Big words for a kid's book.

[Steven]

No, they're not following.

[Ethan]

Pasteurization, Status quo.

[Jerry]

Exactly.

[Ethan]

They don't know what Gouda is.

[Jerry]

Exactly. So this is the wrong book I chose.

[Brandon]

That's. No, that's a failure. That's four. Yeah. Well, how old were they?

[Jerry]

What does it say? Does it say that it seems more

[Ethan]

like fifth or sixth grade level?

[Jerry]

I tried to find. I tried to find Jury John Pete Oswald on Instagram.

[Big Cat]

Oh, give him a piece of your mouth.

[Jerry]

Yeah, but. But, like, I want to do it again. And I told her, like, hey, like, I don't want to go out like that. I know, that was tough. She's like, no, it's cool. We'll do it again.

[Big Cat]

So I wanna.

[Jerry]

But I don't know if I should bring the same book or a different book.

[Brandon]

How old's your son?

[Jerry]

He's four.

[Brandon]

He'll remember that forever.

[Jerry]

You think so?

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

I don't know.

[Ethan]

What kids aren't into, like, aspirational anthropomorphic cheese. They want it just to be stinky and the cheese to fart.

[Brandon]

I know stinky cheese, man.

[Jerry]

I'll tell you one funny part about it is we left, and I was just. I was. I was about to make the video, and I was talking to myself, and I was like, that was just such a disaster. When we got home, we walked through the door, and, you know, his mom was like, buddy, how'd it go? Daddy came in to read. He said it was a disaster. Yeah, but I don't think he knows what disaster. Maybe he does.

[Steven]

I don't know.

[Jerry]

Yeah, it was tough.

[Big Cat]

Five to Eight.

[Jerry]

Yeah, that's tough.

[Big Cat]

Tripped you up.

[Jerry]

Yeah, that was the problem.

[Ethan]

Sometimes you got to improvise.

[Kate]

Let's do those one star reviews, tj.

[Jerry]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's.

[Kate]

The other people said it's all other

[Tj]

dads that got that brought this in to read.

[Jerry]

I can't believe people are reviewing this. I guess I kind of reviewed it, right?

[Big Cat]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jerry]

I don't know. I think I'm going to do a different book. But then I want kind. I kind of want the get back.

[Big Cat]

But you should pre read it.

[Jerry]

Yeah, that's another thing. Like I. A lot of comments were like, pre read the night before, buddy. It's a kids book.

[Big Cat]

Right, Right. But you should.

[Brandon]

Well, the kids want the same book though.

[Big Cat]

Wait, but you should pre read it to make sure there's nothing that could trip you up.

[Jerry]

Up. It's a kids book. Well, I guess.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Because I messed up the two words for sure. That's a good point. But I don't know, it's just.

[Steven]

See it again.

[Big Cat]

Let me see if there's something. I think that was all the big words. I think you just found the two. So.

[Jerry]

Yeah, like, I feel like I, I was right in my like going.

[Ethan]

The kids like, giggling at all. Like, do they like the idea of like hunks of cheese?

[Jerry]

The only part that felt good is like some parts of the book.

[Steven]

It.

[Jerry]

It. It goes to a part where it's like. Like I'm the. And then the crack. The class would say it was that page real quick. The tough page.

[Big Cat]

I don't know. Let's see here.

[Jerry]

It turned out that wedge was quietly excellent at everything. Even when, Even when he won, though. He didn't gloat. He was so humble. It was odd. It was discon. Disconcerting.

[Big Cat]

Oh, there we go. See? All right.

[Jerry]

It was.

[Big Cat]

That was the one I thought would trip you up.

[Jerry]

Well, like, it's not that bad, but like, that's. Those are two big word.

[Brandon]

That's a lot of big words.

[Jerry]

It was a bad book choice.

[Big Cat]

Have you thought about enrolling in your son's class?

[Jerry]

No, I didn't. But I. I will say this. I reached out to Francis and I was like, hey, listen, like, we can do this off camera. I don't care. But like, I felt like a little bit embarrassed walking out of there. I would love to help you help me with the cadence on how to like flow through a book. And like, obviously there's gonna be words that I can't pronounce and.

[Big Cat]

What'd he say?

[Jerry]

He Said, just watch the video. Yeah, well, like, we'll talk.

[Big Cat]

Watch what video?

[Jerry]

I. I did the rant. The Rant video.

[Big Cat]

Oh, yeah, the book.

[Ethan]

I don't think that would have helped the kids at all.

[Jerry]

No.

[Ethan]

Pronounce crazy words like that. Right.

[Jerry]

See, my. My girl said that I should or should say. My fiance said.

[Big Cat]

Oh, that's another one. Yeah, Everybody.

[Brandon]

Wow.

[Big Cat]

That. That's.

[Brandon]

That.

[Jerry]

She said that I should have just mispronounced it. They would have never known.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Yeah, she said, you shouldn't because I was stopping and I was like, I don't even know what that word is.

[Big Cat]

I skip pages every night.

[Jerry]

You got us.

[Big Cat]

Well, it depends on the age because, like, when they get to, like, 4ish, they can tell when you're skipping pages. Yeah, like 2. They don't know.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

My son will say, go back.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They catch on to you. That's the worst feeling. They're like, wait, you missed the page.

[Jerry]

Yeah, I just got to find a book that, like, doesn't have big words and I could pronounce everything.

[Ethan]

Yeah, I would have made it more hands on. Like, my fingertips have cheese dispensers, and when I tickle you guys, you'll get all cheesy.

[Jerry]

Yeah, that'd be good, too.

[Big Cat]

You need the book. That.

[Jerry]

How about this guy?

[Big Cat]

You, like, press, like. Have you read that, Kate?

[Tj]

Which ones?

[Big Cat]

Like, you shake it up.

[Tj]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool.

[Big Cat]

That one's a good one.

[Jerry]

What if I premiere the first episode of Mr. Jerry to them?

[Big Cat]

Oh, I love that. I love that.

[Jerry]

You think so? Is. Hey, Miss Patricia. Oh, damn. I shouldn't have said her name. We will bleep that. Miss P. Miss P. Miss P. We should. Hey, I'm gonna. I'm gonna do something different, you know, you want readers? I'm gonna give you something better. I'm gonna give you a video.

[Big Cat]

Can we watch a little bit of

[Jerry]

Ms. No, we can't. Why? That's bad.

[Big Cat]

No, no, we can't watch. Just a little bit.

[Brandon]

10 seconds.

[Jerry]

No, I mean, you gotta ask Quigs. But I. I was told that we'll. We'll be losing jobs if that happens.

[Big Cat]

All right, all right. Well, Jerry, we got this.

[Jerry]

Yeah. Do you think the video.

[Big Cat]

What video?

[Jerry]

You think I should do the video for the kids instead of reading?

[Big Cat]

What do you mean?

[Jerry]

When I go. Yeah, I'm going back.

[Kate]

You got to prove that you can read it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. No, you gotta prove that. Prove to yourself.

[Jerry]

Maybe I'll do the book and then ask for another session. Because it's all March, you know, Reading month is all March.

[Big Cat]

It's all March.

[Jerry]

Yeah. Because I was gonna do Dr. Seuss. Because I could do Green Eggs and Ham.

[Big Cat]

One of my favorite novelists.

[Kate]

You've got to dabble with some character voices, too.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Tj]

Don't let pigeon drive the bus, Jerry.

[Ethan]

Yeah, I really like.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, those are good.

[Tj]

Don't let pigeon drive the bus. You are kind of perfect for that character feel.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Gerald.

[Tj]

I always give it like a East coast voice. Pigeon. I think you would do well.

[Jerry]

Yeah, I could try that out.

[Big Cat]

I was going to find you a book.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Do you have voices in your bag? Like there's three characters in that. Wedgman. Wedgman, Guda and the Big Cheese.

[Jerry]

I mean, not real. I mean, I could do like. Like an Indian. Like an Indian.

[Big Cat]

Oh, give it to us.

[Jerry]

Yeah, Give us.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Make the first pig Juda in India.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Make him.

[Jerry]

It's not just my stature either. It's my presence, my vibe, the energy. I am mantate. That's not right.

[Big Cat]

What is that?

[Jerry]

Emanate the excitement I exude.

[Big Cat]

I like it.

[Ethan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tj]

Okay.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Indian for one of them.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

I can do Indian first.

[Big Cat]

Jerry, you. Do you still have your Indian Indian friends?

[Brandon]

Of course.

[Steven]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jerry]

Off season's around the corner.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Harry has like, a group of Indian guys he just golfs with.

[Jerry]

Who just seen them. Somebody just seen them at the golf show at Rosemont. I forget.

[Big Cat]

Your Indian friend.

[Jerry]

Yeah, Indian friends. A mill pre. And you know, Kyle, they all have the same last name. Try to guess.

[Ethan]

Well, are they seek.

[Jerry]

What does that mean?

[Brandon]

Do they wear turbans?

[Ethan]

Is it sing?

[Jerry]

They were. They wore turbines at the weddings.

[Big Cat]

Are they Patels?

[Jerry]

Patels. Hamil pre and then starts with a Z.

[Kate]

The other one.

[Brandon]

Did you talk to Miresh about his second cousin celebrating in the locker room?

[Jerry]

No.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Brandon]

For us.

[Jerry]

Really?

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Wow, wow, wow. Cash. Cash.

[Steven]

What's hell?

[Jerry]

Oh, that's his name. Oh, the FBI.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Okay. Gotcha, gotcha. I didn't know they were cousins.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

What were your thoughts on all that?

[Jerry]

On what?

[Big Cat]

The U.S. yeah. Yeah,

[Jerry]

Yeah. I just. Yeah. It wasn't for me to just. I'm staying away from politics, believe it or not.

[Big Cat]

Really?

[Jerry]

I'm out of the politics.

[Brandon]

What have you filled the void with, Jamie?

[Jerry]

Call duty, I guess.

[Kate]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jerry]

You know, I just. I just been kind of staying away. My policy now is whatever happens, happens.

[Big Cat]

I like that.

[Jerry]

Whatever you believe in, you believe in.

[Big Cat]

That's.

[Jerry]

I might not believe. I sent gate. I sent gay Pat, a text the other day. Listen to this. I sent him a text out of the blue.

[Steven]

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

[Jerry]

And this is where I'm at in life. This was on Wednesday at 10:06am I said, hey, gay Pat Senior, Twitter just now. LOL. It's a war zone. I just wanted to say, even though we don't see eye to eye on certain topics and you go left and I go right. Right. You are still a really nice guy and I love chatting with you. Thanks for being a good friend.

[Steven]

Wow.

[Brandon]

Yeah. And how did he respond?

[Jerry]

He was like, I'm not left, Jerry.

[Ethan]

Lol.

[Big Cat]

I love it, Jerry.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

It's a good way to go through life.

[Jerry]

It is. I. I feel better that way.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

You know, I'm done. I'm done with the. The signs in the. In front of the house. I'm done with, you know, on. I still have my American flag and whatnot. Don't get me wrong. But I'm done with the signs. It causes problems. You know what I mean?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

People kicking them.

[Brandon]

I mean, you know, people were kicking your signs.

[Tj]

Oh, yeah.

[Jerry]

Forget about it.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah. He had a neighbor who was assaulting his son.

[Jerry]

Oh, yeah. Had him on the ring and everything.

[Big Cat]

Damn.

[Kate]

You know, Jerry, you see this Jim Carrey situation? Colton was talking.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Yeah. So I didn't get. I didn't do.

[Kate]

I feel like you're a guy that I.

[Tj]

Wait. I haven't seen this yet, but I've heard people talking about it.

[Kate]

It.

[Tj]

What's going on?

[Jerry]

So I. Did you see the artist who put that profile picture out there?

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Was this all, like a big work? Was that true? I don't know.

[Brandon]

His publicist came out and said it was him. Jim Carrey. It was Jim Carrey there.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Tj]

Wait, where someone explains.

[Brandon]

It was a.

[Big Cat]

Got a French award, researched it and I practiced it.

[Kate]

Like, people are saying. That's not.

[Brandon]

People are saying that someone.

[Big Cat]

Heather Shaw in a Jim Carrey mask.

[Brandon]

Correct. And if you look up Heather Shaw, she looks a lot like that.

[Big Cat]

And I was. Yeah.

[Jerry]

I don't know.

[Brandon]

But then there was.

[Kate]

You haven't. You haven't done it.

[Ethan]

I didn't.

[Big Cat]

I haven't.

[Jerry]

Like I said, I've been kind of steering away from the dark stuff, you know?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

I just been trying to go through life a different type of way because I was. I would go crazy. You know what I mean?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Like, I was looking up that Biden mask for days. That flip on the mask. I was zooming. I had every angle of it. Yeah. You Know what I mean?

[Big Cat]

Zooms your time.

[Kate]

It's a dark place.

[Jerry]

It's a dark pledge. Like, you know, you're 3:30 in the morning, you're just sitting up, kids are sleeping, wifey's sleeping. You're just like, what am I doing, man?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

How am I this far deep into this?

[Kate]

This is bad.

[Jerry]

Bad for the brain.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, you're right. It is.

[Jerry]

It is.

[Big Cat]

All right. Bush crushing it.

[Jerry]

It's doing well. It's doing well. I will say it's doing well.

[Big Cat]

What's the next big thing?

[Jerry]

Major two.

[Big Cat]

When is that?

[Jerry]

It is March 27th. 29th.

[Big Cat]

Okay.

[Jerry]

I will say also. Can I give a plug.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Terry and Jerry shows great.

[Big Cat]

My favorite show.

[Jerry]

Show's doing really good.

[Big Cat]

Where is, where is Terry?

[Jerry]

We got. We got two special guests today. He's coming in. He's better come in.

[Steven]

In who?

[Jerry]

During this room?

[Big Cat]

Nick and K. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jerry]

That's gonna be a good episode.

[Brandon]

Excited.

[Jerry]

You guys are down, right?

[Ethan]

Yeah, we're in three o'.

[Steven]

Clock.

[Big Cat]

Are we here right now?

[Jerry]

No, no, I think he was at the landing suit shortly.

[Big Cat]

He probably got some type of travel problems.

[Jerry]

Yeah, for sure. He's a. He's also. Can I say this?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

If, if you watched. If the fans out there watched that new episode House go last week, he is a very bad person to travel with.

[Big Cat]

Why?

[Jerry]

He's. He's a full recliner. He yells at people. He doesn't share the arm rests wake. We have this big debate. Dan.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

Okay, hear me out. If I'm in a window or an aisle seat, right?

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Jerry]

I give, I give those armrests in the middle out of respect. Yeah, you gotta. Because like they, those people didn't want to be in the middle.

[Big Cat]

Correct.

[Jerry]

So you show some respecting. Like, hey, I usually say if I'm there first and then they, Then, then, then the, the middle comes. I say, you got that? That, that's yours. The rest are yours. I don't know. I can't speak for the guy to the right of you.

[Big Cat]

Right.

[Jerry]

But my left. You got that like. No, no, that's not how it work.

[Big Cat]

No, I'm taking them. Yeah. That's crazy.

[Jerry]

Yeah. And a full recline too.

[Big Cat]

Damn.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

I don't know, guy.

[Jerry]

What are you gonna do?

[Big Cat]

Doesn't tip the hotel too. The mate, the maid staff, really Nothing on the table for nothing on the table.

[Jerry]

Oh, that's bad.

[Big Cat]

We had that debate a while ago.

[Brandon]

Yeah, that's bad.

[Big Cat]

Crazy.

[Brandon]

That's best.

[Jerry]

That's not good.

[Big Cat]

Like if you're Staying at a hotel for multiple days.

[Jerry]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

How to leave something.

[Jerry]

Yeah, yeah. You leave a 20 on the table. 1020 on the table.

[Ethan]

Yeah, but it is easy to forget, right?

[Brandon]

Yes. Yeah, yes.

[Big Cat]

Yeah, yeah. Leave a little something always.

[Brandon]

Yeah, especially every time. But it is.

[Kate]

It is easy. We all carry it.

[Brandon]

I mean, we all have cash.

[Kate]

To a man. All of us have multiple 20s.

[Ethan]

We have cash, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all have cash.

[Steven]

Got to have cash.

[Ethan]

So it's in here somewhere.

[Steven]

Yeah, My wallet.

[Jerry]

Yeah, Cash is king.

[Big Cat]

All right, Jerry, thank you.

[Jerry]

Yeah, no, thank you guys. I appreciate it, man. I really do.

[Brandon]

I really do.

[Jerry]

Thank you.

[Big Cat]

Oh, Drew Dolman's retiring. That's bad. Danny, where you see that? Sha just reported it. Well, that's shitty. The big cheese.

[Ethan]

This the bad.

[Brandon]

I mean, that's way many big words for a kids book.

[Jerry]

Book.

[Kate]

Life lessons and dinner are more appropriate for a preteen than a child. It's actually painful to read to a child.

[Ethan]

I agree. Yeah, that was tedious.

[Kate]

Book I've ever read to my kid. Status quo.

[Brandon]

Slightly longer than the book of Genesis.

[Kate]

This is a different book. The bad seed was sort of cute. The good egg isn't terrible. Oh, those are different books this time.

[Tj]

Oh, by the same book sellers maybe.

[Kate]

I thought those were characters in the big Cheese. The book came with this. Those poorly ripped off Sano's $14 sticker

[Steven]

also ruined the book Bad condition. How can you review the book poorly if it's just in bad condition?

[Brandon]

If it gets ships to you broken.

[Kate]

Look at the next one after the bad condition. We borrowed the book from library and is read to my kids. I encountered a couple of words that I had a hard time pronouncing.

[Brandon]

Vindication.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Weird.

[Kate]

Mom.

[Big Cat]

Why'd he retire?

[Brandon]

He's 27.

[Big Cat]

Seven.

[Tj]

Disappoint.

[Big Cat]

Crazy.

[Brandon]

That so sucks.

[Big Cat]

Bad. Well, at least retiring before the drafts help.

[Steven]

What does he play center

[Big Cat]

man?

[Brandon]

What was his reasoning?

[Big Cat]

Even I don't know.

[Jerry]

Did you see also in the Jim Carrey world that the rhino from Ace Ventura is going to go on auction?

[Steven]

Yeah. What eight to ten thousand dollars.

[Brandon]

That's the kind of stuff for need.

[Steven]

I. I know.

[Brandon]

Keep it up. Keep it up.

[Kate]

Well, this is. This is what Ethan could do for us.

[Big Cat]

I didn't like Etor.

[Steven]

You know the second one, which is what that was from. Wasn't that good. But that scene is.

[Big Cat]

I gotta be honest with my irrational purchases. They got it.

[Kate]

One's great.

[Brandon]

An irrational purchor with the like a nipples.

[Steven]

I don't love the second one. That part is, is was the best part of the whole franchise.

[Brandon]

Is the second one Shakaka?

[Kate]

Yeah, it is.

[Big Cat]

It either I don't know me right away or it doesn't.

[Brandon]

Okay, okay.

[Big Cat]

It's just like I'll, I'll have it. I want it.

[Brandon]

What if I like Indian puck game.

[Big Cat]

Yeah. Which we haven't played one. I would have expected hit me so fast. I wanted that. It sucks. It's just sitting over there.

[Steven]

I would have expected Ace Ventura to be in your wheelhouse.

[Big Cat]

Nah, same. Yeah. That thing has just been sitting there

[Steven]

unused in my wheelhouse.

[Big Cat]

It was just one day. We saw it wanted. It sucks.

[Brandon]

You want a bid?

[Ethan]

Just like throw it.

[Kate]

Get it, Brandon.

[Steven]

Go. Havesies.

[Brandon]

Not havesies, but let's go. Like how much was it going for? You make 3.2 million. $3.4 million a year. It is a two.

[Steven]

That's pretty well.

[Brandon]

I, I. We have to make it proportion.

[Jerry]

I don't think you can go out the ass.

[Brandon]

What?

[Jerry]

What doesn't? There's no pictures.

[Steven]

Tj. I'll be going out the ass.

[Jerry]

Maybe that comes off.

[Steven]

Tj. I'll be lift the tail holes behind the ass.

[Brandon]

Can them and be like, we're interested but we need to see the hole.

[Jerry]

Show hole.

[Brandon]

Could we just get the ass part?

[Kate]

That's awesome.

[Steven]

I'll be diving out that.

[Jerry]

What do these knobs do?

[Brandon]

I think that's just prop like for walking it. That's a must. That's a good scene.

[Steven]

He sees a little light come through.

[Brandon]

Oh, I'm just thinking about.

[Steven]

That's good stuff. He's all.

[Brandon]

That would make us all happy.

[Steven]

It's all sweaty when it comes out. What's the singular movie that when you saw it for the first time, you

[Brandon]

laughed the most number of times?

[Kate]

Borat.

[Brandon]

Mine is the end. This is the end.

[Kate]

Jackass.

[Ethan]

All you guys are saying some great ones.

[Kate]

Absolutely.

[Big Cat]

Jackass. Tears in my eyes.

[Kate]

I was howling.

[Ethan]

Jackass is good.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Ethan]

Napoleon Dynamite for me.

[Kate]

Napoleon Dynamite.

[Brandon]

I didn't have many laugh out loud moments for Napoleon Dynamite, but I enjoyed it.

[Big Cat]

I don't know what it did.

[Kate]

There's something about it, Kyle. It was just so funny.

[Ethan]

It was something about.

[Kate]

It's not funny now.

[Ethan]

It was one of the best moments of my life when I first saw it.

[Big Cat]

What about you, Stephen?

[Brandon]

Also with Marc Borat. Are those movies not as good to see in theaters with a big group of people? Are those better watched individually? Oh, I like laughing with the crowd.

[Steven]

Yeah. I think a crowd laughing makes it better.

[Brandon]

Oh, really?

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Do you miss some of the jokes at all or.

[Jerry]

Well, not.

[Brandon]

Not something like Jackass.

[Steven]

Okay. Yeah, you might miss some rapid fire jokes, but it's. It's worth it to do the laughing.

[Kate]

Jackass is the best in a theater movie. If you want. You want to be with a group or whatever that's the best movie for.

[Big Cat]

I think they're filming something right now. I've said it before, but, like, Jackass to me is just the pinnacle of. Of like, male friendship. Yeah. On screen. Dudes just doing the dumbest to make each other laugh. By the way, Jerry clearly has turned a new leaf because he said. He texted me. Also forgot to say this on the yak. You guys should look into Michael Jackson deeper. They killed him. He was protecting kids from Epstein. So. Yeah, he's totally changed. Yeah, totally changed.

[Brandon]

Back on laughing in a theater. Did you guys see the clip of the guy farting in Oppenheimer?

[Big Cat]

No.

[Brandon]

Right when it gets silent, when the bomb is made, this dude rips a fart and the whole theater erupts.

[Steven]

That's awesome.

[Big Cat]

Was he like. Was it a fart machine or was it.

[Brandon]

No, I think he was natural. You could tell it's a natty. Then you hear other guys laughing in the theater.

[Tj]

See, that's comedy. That's great.

[Big Cat]

We gotta hire that gu. He's got it.

[Brandon]

This is our guy that farts in theaters.

[Big Cat]

He knows the exact right time.

[Brandon]

He would be the most viral guy at the company. Just goes to theaters and finds the best time to fart.

[Big Cat]

Oh, man. All right, tomorrow, get excited. Big, big day.

[Steven]

Hello.

[Big Cat]

He's gone. Also, tune in the Dug Dog tonight. Night. It's going to be something. Nick.

[Brandon]

I'm really excited, man. I'm excited for these next few days more than I've been for a long time. I can tell you are, too.

[Big Cat]

I wake up barstool this morning, man. Yeah, this is going to be. I'm going to be drag. I gotta. I gotta find my energy. Chinese workout. You doing it with. You have to.

[Brandon]

I'm going to be on Jerry Terry.

[Big Cat]

We're doing at 5pm so. Looks like you can do it.

[Brandon]

My dad spent a long day, dude.

[Big Cat]

It will get us the energy, get us a little blood.

[Brandon]

All right, I'm in.

[Big Cat]

Get a little hunger.

[Brandon]

All of us doing it together in our white hoodies.

[Big Cat]

In our white hoodies.

[Kate]

Mmm.

[Big Cat]

Brandon. Oh, yeah. Steven.

[Steven]

He. He's Steve. You're trolling.

[Big Cat]

He's not. I put it out.

[Brandon]

First of all, I hadn't grilled since like, October.

[Steven]

I Get that.

[Brandon]

But I put it out because I thought it looked like the entire jersey.

[Steven]

Right.

[Big Cat]

But he cut it.

[Steven]

It's so goddamn great.

[Ethan]

Yeah, right.

[Brandon]

You cut it also. I cut the bone and the fat off.

[Big Cat]

The real story here is that Steven has a Canadian grill with wavy grill. Grill marks. Yeah. So annoying.

[Brandon]

I guess in Canada they have wavy grills. I tested. I tested out a few or I inspected a few shows. I made. I made the informed choice with the help of the salesman.

[Big Cat]

Look at this thing. He's got a Canadian grill. This guy hates America.

[Steven]

I don't see anything wrong with that.

[Big Cat]

I do.

[Steven]

Hating America.

[Brandon]

You had the audacity to say you were.

[Big Cat]

Look at the waves. It's wavy. It looks kind of cool.

[Brandon]

Easier to clean.

[Steven]

That's fine.

[Brandon]

The waves are.

[Ethan]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

Why?

[Brandon]

Because the bristles can, like, curl.

[Steven]

It's no easier to clean.

[Big Cat]

That's not in my mind.

[Brandon]

It is.

[Steven]

All right. All right.

[Big Cat]

Well, that's all that matters.

[Steven]

So I think those beautiful pieces of meat turned into what you showed us.

[Big Cat]

Great.

[Brandon]

I didn't. I, I, I will be. And I didn't think I was gonna

[Steven]

get judged because I didn't cut it open was that I didn't preheat it enough.

[Brandon]

And then by the time I went out to get it, the grill is

[Steven]

almost on fire, so. Okay, so you did it wrong all the way around.

[Big Cat]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I have to get it cleaned out. I thought I got.

[Steven]

I thought I cleaned it out at

[Brandon]

the end of last season.

[Steven]

I didn't. Hey, listen, the first couple of grills in a new season. That's what I'm saying. You get a free couple of freebies.

[Big Cat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Steven]

But you don't have to put them out on the Internet either.

[Big Cat]

It looked like New Jersey.

[Steven]

It didn't. They kind of look like New Jersey. Jersey. It was gray.

[Brandon]

It was gray as c. A khaki steak. It was good.

[Steven]

All right.

[Brandon]

Whatever.

[Steven]

Yeah.

[Big Cat]

All right, let's spin the wheel. I'm pissed about Drew Dolman.

[Steven]

The

[Big Cat]

kind of takes us out of Max Crosby too, cuz now we got to use that draft pick. All right, see you tomorrow, Miny. Pro Day. Diamond talk shop is the act. It's the act.

[Jerry]

See you tomorrow for pro day. Be in your seats early. All right, love you guys. Bye.