Cold-Open Question of the Week: This come’s from my 17-year-old daughter. You could choose one: Have all of your student loans paid off, or never have to do laundry again. Which would you choose?

Correction from last week: I said Keith Richards when I meant Mick Jagger.

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Royal: Brian purchased a 1962 Royal Signet typewriter at an estate sale this past week. The owner’s manual provides Sixties sexism at its finest!

Basketball: Brian’s team won 20-17 on Thursday in a thriller, lost 24-18 on Friday (to the eventual champions), and lost again on Saturday, as his team was eliminated.

Raising The Flag: Brian’s enjoying his one night off before his Jets flag football team’s first practice of the season on Wednesday.

Cost of Watching: Brian and Gary discuss what it costs parents to watch youth sports these days.

Bombs Over Iran: The latest talk and thoughts on the war with Iran.

BridgeGrades: Our friend Brad Porteus, wrote about this past week’s Texas primary, wondering if the results show voters may (finally!) be coming to the middle and rejecting the radical ends of each party.

* Brian discusses Pennsylvania Sen. John Fetterman

* Rep. Jasmine Crockett (TX) was rejected by voters in favor of “moderate” candidate James Talarico in this week’s primary.

Britney Arrested: Is there no one who loves this woman? Britney Spears was arrested for DUI last Wednesday by the California Highway Patrol in Ventura County, at around 9:28 p.m. local time.

The 44-year-old was booked at 3:02 a.m. and ultimately released at 6:07 a.m. the next day, according to the Ventura County Sheriff’s inmate record.

A court date is scheduled for May 4.

Time: Another interesting perspective on ‘time’.

Gary’s News of the Weird:

Sponsored by Rapp Brewing Company

Tonight:

Sex in MRI: A story from Jay M. in Olyphant. A real couple helps scientists understand what really happens inside. One reader on Facebook asked, “I thought you weren’t allowed to move during an MRI?”

NBA Strips Hawks of Magic City Night: https://www.outkick.com/sports/nba-saves-hawks-from-themselves-cancels-ridiculous-magic-city-night

This week’s food truck schedule:

* Thursday, March 11th: Bay Bay’s Burgers, 5-9 p.m., Bock Bier Release!

* Friday, March 13th: Kielbasa Bus, 5-9 p.m.

* Saturday, March 14th: Detroit Coney Island, 4-8 p.m.

* Sunday, March 15th: Lazy Baker Pizza Maker, 2-6 p.m.

* All weekend: Girl Scout Cookie Beer Pairing Event!!!

* March 17th: Release of Luck o’ the Irish!!!

RIP:

Lou Holtz: Notre Dame coach died. Former ESPN SportsCenter anchor, Keith Olbermann, meanwhile, lost his mind.

6 Service Members: Major Jeffrey R. O’Brien, Capt. Cody A. Khork, Chief Warrant Officer 3 Robert M. Marzan, Sgt. First Class Nicole M. Amor, Sgt. First Class Noah L. Tietjens and Sgt. Declan J. Coady were killed on March 1 while supporting Operation Epic Fury in Port Shuaiba, Kuwait, during an unmanned aircraft system attack. A seventh service member, Sgt. Benjamin Pennington, also died this week.

PSP: A Pennsylvania State Police officer, Corp. Tim O’Connor, a 15-year veteran and father, was killed this week during a traffic stop.

Before We Go:

Has Gary Ever Been: While visiting his outlaws in-laws on the East Coast, has Gary ever made a trip to the Inlet Harbour Lounge and Liquors in Riviera Beach and Singer Island, FL. Apparently the bar hasn’t been updated since 1986. It has a great bourbon selection, as one Screencaps reader wrote:

The liquor store was what you’d expect to see (like any average store), but my wife and I went into the lounge, and it was like walking into an 80s dive bar! Wood paneling, people smoking and drinking, bar and bathroom haven’t been updated since 1986. Smelled like smoke and mildew, perfect! Reminded me of my dad and his buddy going out on the buddy’s boat, with me tagging along, circa late 80s / early 90s, then after docking and cleaning the boat, going to a place like this. (I was a teenager.) And yet they have very very expensive Pappy and other rare bourbons. Fun option vs a fancy bourbon bar, and arguably cheaper!

Home Improvements: Donna Kelce is remodeling? Does Gary have any handyman tasks he’s looking to tackle this spring?

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Episode 182: The One About The Royal Signet