Them Before Us Podcast
Episode: Them Before Us #088 | A Powerful Personal Story of Hope in Midst of Infertility
Release Date: August 8, 2025
Host: Jennifer Friesen
Guest: Miriam (from the Netherlands)

Introduction

In episode #088 of the Them Before Us Podcast, host Jennifer Friesen engages in a heartfelt and inspiring conversation with Miriam from the Netherlands. Miriam shares her deeply personal journey through infertility, her steadfast faith, and the ethical dilemmas surrounding In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). This episode offers listeners a profound look into the challenges faced by those struggling with infertility and the moral considerations that accompany reproductive technologies.

Miriam's Journey with Infertility

Miriam begins her story by recounting her early reluctance to pursue IVF. At 33, she was single and resisted the idea of freezing her eggs, as shown in a documentary that inspired her friend's suggestion. “I really felt in my heart like, no, I don't want to control this thing by myself” ([00:53]).

Upon meeting her husband at 37 and marrying at 38, Miriam hoped to conceive naturally, trusting in divine providence. Despite initial hopes, Miriam experienced her first miscarriage in 2018 at eight weeks of pregnancy. This loss propelled her into a deeper exploration of her faith and the biblical narratives of women like Sarah and Hannah who relied solely on God for children.

Three months after her miscarriage, Miriam became pregnant with her daughter Rachel. However, complications arose during the pregnancy, leading to Rachel's diagnosis with trisomy 13 shortly after birth. “She was incompatible with life. And she stayed with us for 10 weeks” ([06:19]).

Faith and Trust in God

Miriam's unwavering faith played a central role in her approach to infertility. She declined to pursue medical interventions like IVF, convinced that trusting God was paramount. She reflects, “I really want to trust God for a husband and for children” ([02:00]).

Her reliance on scripture provided comfort and guidance during her struggles. Miriam references stories from the Bible, such as Hannah’s fervent prayers for a child, emphasizing that every life is precious to God: “Every life is precious. And what he says in his word, like in Jeremiah, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you” ([10:05]).

Views on IVF and Ethical Concerns

Miriam expresses strong ethical reservations about IVF, particularly concerning the fate of unused embryos. She recounts her shock upon learning that Christian insurance in Holland would not cover standard IVF procedures because “embryos are new human beings” and the insurance would not take responsibility for frozen embryos ([11:20]).

She criticizes the practice of grading embryos, leading to the disposal or donation of those deemed "low quality." Miriam states, “This was really, really a no go for me and my husband” ([11:50]). Her discomfort is further highlighted by stories she heard of embryos being discarded for research purposes, which she finds morally unacceptable.

Miriam also challenges the notion that IVF is the only path to motherhood. She emphasizes that biblical figures achieved motherhood without such technologies, reinforcing her belief in divine intervention over medical solutions: “Sarah didn't have IVF. She only had God... Hannah didn't have IVF” ([15:00]).

Cultural Context in the Netherlands

Jennifer inquires about the cultural landscape in the Netherlands regarding marriage and family. Miriam observes that IVF is increasingly common, including among Christian communities who may not fully understand its ethical implications. She notes a rise in same-sex couples and single individuals seeking IVF or surrogacy: “More and more same sex couples also go for IVF or looking for a surrogate” ([14:20]).

Miriam points out a cultural shift where career and personal aspirations often take precedence over traditional family structures, leading women to "put their fertility on the shelf" and rely on technologies that may conflict with their ethical or religious beliefs ([20:00]).

The Impact of Infertility Struggles

Miriam shares the profound emotional toll of her infertility journey, including multiple miscarriages and the loss of her daughter Rachel. Despite these hardships, she channels her grief into advocacy. She authored a book detailing her pregnancy experience and founded "Powerful Woman" to inspire others to choose life and support unborn children.

Her story underscores the persistent struggle between personal desire for motherhood and ethical convictions against reproductive technologies. Miriam emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility for one’s fertility without relying solely on medical interventions: “Take responsibility for your fertility. Yes” ([20:40]).

Advice and Conclusion

Towards the end of the conversation, Miriam advocates for a balanced approach to fertility, urging women to prioritize family and trust in divine timing over immediate technological solutions. She highlights the biological realities of fertility decline with age and encourages proactive measures aligned with her faith and ethical beliefs.

Jennifer concludes by acknowledging the diverse paths women take in their fertility journeys and the importance of supporting each individual’s unique experience. Miriam’s story serves as a poignant reminder that faith, ethical considerations, and personal resilience are vital in navigating the complexities of infertility.

Notable Quotes:

• Miriam ([02:00]): “I really want to trust God for a husband and for children.”
• Miriam ([06:19]): “She was incompatible with life. And she stayed with us for 10 weeks.”
• Miriam ([10:05]): “Every life is precious. And what he says in his word, like in Jeremiah, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.”
• Miriam ([15:00]): “Sarah didn't have IVF. She only had God... Hannah didn't have IVF.”
• Miriam ([20:40]): “Take responsibility for your fertility. Yes.”

Resources

• Miriam’s Book: Available in Dutch, detailing her pregnancy and advocacy for life.
• Foundation: WW.PowefulStrapia – Focused on inspiring women to choose life and support children.
• Connect with Them Before Us: Listeners in the Netherlands can reach out for support and community connections through the podcast’s network.

This episode of Them Before Us offers a moving exploration of infertility through the lens of faith and ethical conviction. Miriam’s story provides valuable insights for anyone grappling with similar challenges, emphasizing the importance of hope, resilience, and principled decision-making in the face of adversity.