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A
Hey everyone.
B
Welcome to the Done Before Us podcast. And this is a very special treat because you're basically getting an inside view into what our staff calls sort of look like, other than we're not always necessarily like in a six, like three by three block, paying super close attention to the screen. So this, that's a special treat, but basically never. Basically never. But we all wanted to get together and share a little bit in honor of Mothers and Father's Day, a little bit about the mothers and fathers that made us who we are. And so we're all going to share just a little bit and you all who are listening get a little bit of an insight into the staff who work for them, for us. So we're going to start with our illustrious leader, founder and president Katie Faust. Tell us a little bit about your mom and dad and yeah, something you loved about them, appreciate about them growing up.
C
Okay, so my mom was crunchy before crunchy was a thing. Like we didn't have sugar in the house or chocolate in the house. We had carob. Do you know what carob is? Yeah, that's because they made something up for people to give their children instead of chocolate. It's terrible. And so the sweetest thing in the house was molasses. So. So I would climb onto the corner shelf, like the, the like Lazy Susan in the corner and like spin it around until I got the molasses and then I would just eat it straight. I still love molasses. But like, she was just like super healthy, like, very, very focused on like real food. So when a lot of friends, like, they would eat canned soup, I was like, we, we didn't have any cans of soup in the house at all. So I just, I appreciate that so much. She was just so serious about like the whole family's health and making sure that everybody's eating well. And I totally, like, brought that into my own children's lives as well. I'm like, no, we're just gonna cook everything from scratch. Not that it's like super high end. It's not all organic all the time, but there, yeah, we don't have any like artificial blah, blah, blah in the house. So I'm so thankful that I didn't have to like learn that on my own. I just inherited it. And then my dad, he had this car when we were young, when I was young, and it was a Volvo 1800. And I don't know if it didn't have a muffler. They're just noisy cars. But I could hear it Coming from five or six blocks away. And so wherever I was in the house in the neighborhood, like upstairs in the basement, I could hear them coming. And I would have about a minute to get from wherever I was to the place where the dining room hardwood floor met the living room carpet. I would stand there with my toes on the line and I would wait. And I could hear the car pulling into the driveway and then rattling off. And then I knew that it was about 15 seconds before the door was going to open. And so the door would start to open, and my dad would have just enough time to put down his black metal, pale lunchbox and catch me. Because by the time the door cracked open, I was launching like I was running. So he would have time to drop the lunchbox and catch me midair and throw me up in the air every day. And it was like. It's so emblematic of dad, you know, like, play excitement, rough housing and. Yeah, sweetest memory ever.
B
I love that. That's cute. And Katie got that car, that same car recently. She shares about that on Subsect Longer Firm or you wrote. You wrote for some car magazine about.
C
Yeah, Rolling Volvo's official magazine. They published it, which is pretty cool.
B
To get the car that you have so many memories of your dad.
C
It's pretty neat, I tell you then. And the nostalgia and like, why do I love the car? I'm not a car girl. I am not a car girl. I'm that car girl because that was my father's car. And there was so much. There's so much nostalgia and connection and association. I love the car because I love my dad.
A
Yeah.
B
So good. Okay, next we're going to hear from executive director Josh Wood.
D
I'll start with my dad. I loved. He worked most of my life only on Monday through Thursdays and everything else, like, Fridays. He would typically take me to the gym with him in the morning. And when I was really little, it was questionable. He used to just give me, like, 30 quarters, and I would get to play the little arcade games that were in the gym. I'm like, would I give my kid that right now? I don't know. But I used to love it. I used to play Pole Position, if you know that game. There was also Centipede in there. And over time, once I could finally work out, I was old enough, he would let me start working out with him, and then we would always go do brunch as a family. Super fortunate. You don't realize adults work on Fridays. I just had no clue. I'm like, no, they don't. I'm pretty sure everyone has Friday off. But that was just my experience. And he put a ton of time and effort into as I got older, teaching me how to lift and work out. It was something he was good at and loved and enjoyed. He worked out his entire life, and so he passed it on to me, and I loved that, especially as I got more and more into athletics as I got older. My second thing has always been my mother. She made a deal with me when I was a little kid that if you read the book, I'll buy you the book. And she put no cap on that. Sometimes they were used books, sometimes they were. You know, that has turned into a lifelong love of learning and reading. Anybody that knows me or even if you follow any of my social media, I try to read maybe 80 or 100 books a year. And that came from that. From my mom. I used to. You know, it was a little joke. Like, I was gonna cost her so much money, I'd bring another book down and slam it on the dinner table and say, done. So I got to go pick a new book. But the flip side was, if I didn't finish the book, then I couldn't buy a new one. And so I, even to this day, as an adult, can't stop a book. I have to. And so sometimes I'll start it and I'll go, oh, no, there's like, 200 pages left of this thing. But it was just this. I didn't get to buy a new one until I got all the way through it. And so it was two. The love of learning and the love of working out. Just totally different things that they brought to my life. And it was so fun because I would talk about the books with them. Like, I'd talk about my workouts with my dad, even, you know, into adulthood.
B
So good. It's. It is really crazy just to see the connections of, like, the things our parents do so dramatically, like, create who we are in a lot of ways, for good or for bad, maybe. So we'll. We'll hop. Well, I'm saying down, but we'll hop over here to patient Sunny. She's our engagement director, so she's doing a lot of the legal and policy work that you guys only hear about when we have a big win and then we share it. So she's a little less on the camera with us all the time. But now you're here. So tell us about your mom and dad.
A
Yeah.
E
So actually, similar to what Josh was saying with the Love of learning and love of books that I got from my mom. My mom homeschooled all of us and was really great at just instilling in us a curiosity and the tools to go find answers to questions. I remember her teaching us how to use an encyclopedia and a dictionary back in the days of Dial up, and then later teaching us how to safely use a Google search in order to find things. But also every evening, she would sit down and read out loud. And not just when we were really little, but, you know, into high school and even in my college years. I remember sitting down and listening to mom read, usually to my younger siblings at that point, but books that were so familiar and so loved and so much a part of our family because, you know, we would kind of have a cycle every so many years. She read through Lord of the Rings every so many years. She would read through Little House. And that was just such a great part of my childhood, my growing up years. And my dad grew up working in a family owned bike shop. And that was something that he really carried on and wanted to pass along to his kids. So he made sure that we all learned how to ride a bike. He was taking the training wheels off as early as he could. He was actually ahead of the curve on the balance bike, if you've ever heard of that. He actually knocks the pedals off of a bike and was teaching one of my younger siblings how to balance without pedals. And he would also. It was important to him that we learned how to take care of our bicycles. We each had a bike and I remember, you know, 8 years old, learning, you know, here's how you take care of the chain, here's how you change the tire. And just having that knowledge was such a great thing. I remember actually teaching a college classmate how to take care of their bike better when they were using it as their, their primary way of getting around in school. And it was like, oh, I'm so glad that my dad passed this along to me and that I have the opportunity to share it with someone else.
B
We're just seeing too, like, the values, the things your parents value end up being the things you learn and value as well, which is amazing. Okay, we are moving on to Mary Kovach. She is our administrative director. Did I say it wrong? You're muted every.
F
Every time, Jen.
D
It was clovic, like, until two days ago in your phone.
B
It says right there, kovach. What is it?
D
It's Croat. It's Croatian. You gotta, you know, make it sound guttural.
B
I was trying to hide your. Your identity from people, though, with my name on my. Well, the name won't show up on the thing, but I am saying it out loud.
A
Okay, well.
B
And if you've ever emailed them for us or if you've ever tried to schedule any of us for anything, Mary is the person organizing so many of our lives, managing so many of our projects, keeping all of our plates spinning. So, Mary, I'm curious to know if your parents had anything to do with some of your personality there. Or maybe the opposite, but yes. Tell us about your mom and dad.
F
Yeah, that's actually a really good tea for, like, tee off. For me, my mom was basically raising the four of us kids because my dad was working full time, and she. She just can do it all. She is a phenomenal cook. She taught us to absolutely love being outside. Anybody who's ever worked with me knows that if it's even slightly sunny and warm outside, I. I would much rather, like, be in the sun the entire day than inside. She taught me to think and to critically evaluate everything that I was faced with. I think that she really instilled a value of appreciating truth for me from a young, young age. And, yeah, she just, like, she never stops working, but it's not from a place of unhealth. It's from a place of wanting to serve everyone that's around her. And I definitely have taken that into as many spaces as I can. And I would say one of my favorite things that I've learned from her, which I really hadn't noticed until the last couple of years, is my love of being a mom. She just made being a mom look and sound like the most fun job that you could ever have in the world. And I didn't fully grasp that until I became a mom a couple of years ago. So I've been really, really thankful for just all of the lessons that she taught me about that before I knew I needed them. And then on my dad's side, he is one of the hardest workers that I know, and I would say that my brain functions very much like his, which at times can be really frustrating, but at times is also really helpful. I have not ever met a project management system that I love, but give me a blank piece of paper to be able to jot all of my random thoughts on and, like, make sense of them, and I can do that. And I definitely have gotten that from him. And he. I would say from a young age, like, I got my first job at, like, my first official job at 15. I think technically I was too young to actually be, like, officially paid. And so they paid me in cash until I turned 16. And yeah, he just, like, taught me the value of hard work and consistency and just showing up and being willing to learn. And that's something that hopefully I'll be able to teach my kids and has done nothing but serve me well as I've gotten older.
B
I love that.
A
Okay.
B
And I'm not gonna be able to say your last name either. Now we're transitioning over to Sam DeLoache.
G
You got it.
B
DeLoache, who's social media manager.
C
I've been saying DeLoache in my mind forever. I cannot believe it.
F
So ph, people, I was like, jen,
C
how could you not know Mary's last name?
A
And I'm like, oh, that's Sam's last name.
D
Okay, I promise we do like each other and we do have regular calls.
B
Well, you don't have to say each other's last names very much though, right? That shows that we like each other more. First name. Sam. Tell us about your mom and dad.
G
So my mom has the biggest heart of any person I've ever met. You know, a lot of people will have one or two kids and then they'll start to question, like, if I have more, can I love them the same? Do I have enough love for all these kids? My mom had seven kids, and it didn't stop there with how much she loved each of us individually. We. We had seven kids and then we had to buy a 14 passenger green bus to drive around because she constantly had everyone's friends with us. So anyone in my life that was like a good friend of mine, they were always at my house. Especially, like friends who, you know, their mom works too much or their dad's always gone, or like parent people who had divorced parents, they were always at my house. And, you know, my mom's there to cook them a warm meal and be that loving, like, you know, solid maternal person for them. And she's just the warmest person I know. She's just the one you want to be around. Even to this day. They beg me. They're like, can your mom please come to my baby shower? I want her to meet my baby. I feel like she's my second mom. And. And so she's just like everyone's mom, everyone's grandma. And she just, you know, if anyone ever questions, if you have so many kids, how can you really love each and every one of them? You got to talk to my mom because Somehow she pulled it off. And we all feel so loved. And even to this day, she just has such a good relationship with all of us. And then my dad, he is the most spontaneous person. Growing up, he made life just so much fun. I still remember things like, you know, he would wake us up at like 4am without telling us why. We'd all load up in our big bus and we'd just start driving and. And then we would go see the space launches in Florida. And so it was so fun. Like, the most random things that, like, he didn't even warn us about, you know, random Disney trips and beach trips. He was just so much fun with that. And another story that I love to tell is we went to Disney and he was hyping up my first time riding a roller coaster, and he finally thought I was tall enough. So, like, we're ready to do it. We're in line, we wait this long line. We get to the top and they do the height thing. And I'm like. I'm like, tiniest bit too short and. And he's like, trying to deal with this guy. My dad doesn't take no for an answer. He's like, come on, man. Like, she's this. Like, she can r. I'll hold her. She'll be safe. Everything's fine. The guy was just like, not budging. And so my dad takes me out of line and we go to the princess store and he buys me princess heels. The little clip once and we wait in that line again, and we get back to the top. And my dad's like, go ahead, measure her. I'm telling you, she'll. It'll be fine. And sure enough, I was finally tall enough and we rode that roller coaster. And that was my first roller coaster experience.
B
It was the best.
G
It was such a fun, fun day.
B
And so that's such a dad solve like that. It was the best.
G
And so, yeah, that was. That's my dad. Anytime we're having a bad day, he's like, everyone load up in the car. We're going to go get ice cream, everyone. It was just always. He's always trying to turn things around and show us the fun in life. And so I had the best balance. You know, my mom was just so nurturing, so loving, so consistent. And then my dad was just like, he just liked to spice things up. And so I just appreciate both my parents so much.
A
They're the best.
B
Wow, that's so good. Very. Feels very on brand for who you are, too. The combination of those things for me, I feel like my parents personalities are inverted in some ways from maybe a traditional mom and dad. But my dad was more the homebody and he only left the house to work. He was gone for a consecutive days, a few days a week. And then my mom worked outside the home. We did different daycare or different kinds of situations with grandparents and things like that when both of them were working. But what I realize now from my mom is that she was working 40 hours a week outside the home and then homeschooling us and then taking us to a number of the different activities like the wanna and the church youth group and all these things. And then Saturday adventures. So what would motivate a person who's worked hard all week and you have Saturday where you could potentially be doing your own thing or resting or whatever to get your middle school kids each with a bicycle and just decide you're going to go to a different part of the city, like load your bikes onto a bus, drive somewhere you've never been before. We joke in our family that when she starts chewing on her thumb, it meant we were lost. Like she wasn't exactly sure where to go. And I remember we drove to a. We got on a bus and drove, you know, it was about 30 minutes maybe from where we lived. And we were riding our bikes around and we went to an old soda shop and it was like this very fun adventure, except it's so gross because it's like doesn't have any sugar in it or something you like. The original soda is like not good. And I remember we're like riding our bikes to try and get the bus. My cup is like dropping down between. I'm like squeezing the top, trying to hold it. It's like sloshing everywhere. My sister spills hers on the bus, so it's empty. And you're gonna see the pop, like going down the whole like trail of the. We all are on paper towels trying to like paper towel off the bus. And then people who are trying to get home from work had no room on the bus rack, on the bike rack, because all of our bikes were on it. So they're just like glaring at us as we're like at the bus stop. And they were like, bye and go through. And I just think about all these adventures. There's. It's not like it's a benefit to you, quote unquote. It's actually a lot of sacrifice. Probably dealing with fussing, bickering, being embarrassed because your kids spill something, paying some money, getting slightly lost and that like marked her character for so much of our life would be some kind of crazy adventure where we get a little bit lost. And I just appreciate that from her so much, especially now that I work. And you recognize like, wait a second, your mom was like working or doing something, your dad's working and then would have to come home and mow the lawn or come home and do the dishes. It wasn't like those things just happened. They had to do both. And then for my dad, I think, like I said, he's kind of a homebody. He's not a super social guy. But I think the thing I realize about him is how safe I felt growing up in the sense of how handy he is because he actually has a tool for everything. We would, our cars would break down once a family vacation, one time on every family vacation, something bad would happen to our car. And I remember being out on the underpass again. My mom was feeding us pop Tarts and just like having a good time. I remember it was like fun. Our car has broken down, we're on the side of the freeway. And I remember that as a positive memory because my mom is giving us a good, showing us a good time. And my dad's literally fixing the van. I think they said he did it with like a paperclip and duct tape. At some point he just like is fixing stuff. And you recognize when you're driving with someone like that, you kind of don't really worry about what's going to happen to you. Like they're going to figure it out. He's like a confident person in that way. And the final thing I'll say about him is as I grew up, I would, you know, I was doing psychology and I'm like processing my feelings. And it's like dad never calls and asks me like about my feelings or how he school going for me or remembering the different things I'm doing. What he would call me on the phone and ask is, how is your car running? Or he'll be, when I would be at the house, he'd say, ah, your headlights look a little dim. It's like, oh, let me. And he came up once, it was like a 30 minute drive with his tools to buff my headlights. And there was a recognition from me to be like, you know what? He is not this very sophisticated emotional communicator. But he's trying to say, I care about you and I love you. The only way I can think to come up with that is for me to call you and say, how's your car running, but that's me saying I love you. Once I connected those dots, I'm like, okay, he does care about me and I can recognize the way he's doing it. So, yeah, it's very.
C
As you wish.
B
Yeah. For it's the Princess Bride.
E
Yeah.
A
Should we put.
B
We should clip that movie for, for something for sure. Well, everyone, thanks for sharing about your mom and dad. This has been very fun. It's. We didn't even hear these stories from each other ahead of time. So that, that's fun for each other. And then I hope all of you, you know, listening at home appreciated a little insight into our staff. And we hope you all have a great Mother's and Father's Day whenever you're listening to this. And we will catch you next time.
C
Hey, everyone.
B
Welcome to Here for the Comments, a Them Before Us podcast series where we dive into the comments and questions we get online and unpack the children's rights perspective we use to answer them. I'm your host, Jen, and I'm joined by Sam. And we are here for the comments. This will be a little bit different edition of Here for the Comments because we're coming up on Mother's Day this weekend, or maybe you're listening to this and it is Mother's Day right now. But we wanted to highlight some impressive moms in pop culture. We went more for, like, the movies. Movies, TV shows, kids TV shows and stuff. So set us up. Sam, who's our first mom that we want to highlight here?
A
All right, These are in no order of, like, our favorites or important. So it's kind of just random ones that we thought of. But we, the first one that we have listed is Sarah Connor. I mean, of course, that had to be one of them. She obviously, like, transformed her entire self into a warrior to protect her son from the end of the world. So I feel like she had to be in top 10. And all throughout the series, every decision she makes is for her child. So I think that she was a great mom.
B
Yeah. Did you watch the Terminator series when you were growing up?
A
Not when I was growing up. I watched it as an adult.
G
Yeah.
B
I think I watched it in reverse order. Almost the more recent ones that came out, I saw and then went back and watched it. And man, the Terminator stuff was so scary, right? It was. There's no way to beat them. And so the fact that it's this time travel kind of thing where these robots from the future are coming back in time to kill her son who becomes A leader in the military going forward. Like, you're saying she goes from normal mom, normal world to becoming just BA fighter lady. And she's in one of the. The newest one. She comes back, which is very nostalgic for fans. Everybody loves some time travel mom protection, right?
A
That's right.
B
Okay. This was one I just added in because a lot of people have complex feelings about Lorelei Gilmore.
G
I was gonna say this is. This is like.
A
I feel like people disagree on this or agree. Like, it's either one or the other. You love her or you think that you don't like her.
B
So, yeah, I was a psychology major, and I think she's a fascinating psychological study in a sense. So if you've never seen Gilmore Girls, Lorelei Gilmer is, you know, raised super wealthy family, only child, becomes pregnant at 15 or 16, decides to keep the baby, gets kicked out or leaves her family and grows up and is sort of raised in a small town that's close to where she grew up. And then, so the whole story is about Lorelei, who's only, you know, 16 or so years older than her daughter. They end up being more like roommates and friends in a lot of ways. But that's what I actually really have loved. There were a lot of. First of all, it's the choosing life thing, of course, right? It's that when women feel empowered to know that you can do it, you can take care of your child and get a career, and, you know, you can do all the things, maybe not all at once, but you can sacrifice. She does sacrifice for her child. She works at a hotel, works her way up. I believe she starts in, like, maid service or something. When we meet her, she's the manager, general manager of a hotel, has worked her way up, raises her daughter to be a pretty decent person, really pushes her to do well in school, a lot of those things. And you really see some moments they have a lot of friction later on in the show because her mom really puts her foot down of, like, you're not gonna just not go to college after what I've sacrificed for you? And gets really irritated with her wanting to throw her life away on stupid, a stupid boy. Or when she decides she's, like, with someone who's married. Like these. There's these kind of moral distinctions where she goes from being a friend and, like, yeah, we're just chilling and we're vibing together. So, like, really putting her foot down and being like, no, I'm your mom and I've sacrificed for you, and I Know what's better? I know what's better for you. Don't do that. And so there's some cool moments like that I appreciate.
A
Yeah, I know it's controversial, but I actually. I completely agree with you. I think she was a great mom. I think that, like you said, she sacrificed so much. The fact that she chose life, the fact that, like, she put everything into her kid instead of, like, just doing what a lot of people will do, which, you know, abandon your kid or be done with it because she was so young, like, she just. She just went for it. So.
B
And that's. And it's in a world, you know, it's set in the Northeast, you know, Harvard and Yale and all this stuff where she was on track to do those things. And so her parents are like, look, you're throwing your life away if you keep this kid. And so that. This is a cool picture of sacrifice in some way. So, okay, what's our next one here?
A
All right, we have Helen Parr. She. I actually love this one. This is from the Incredibles. She's the mom from the Incredibles. And I honestly just love the Incredibles altogether. I think it's so wholesome. I think it's a really good, like, family movie. And both of them are great, but she just. Obviously, she would risk her life to keep her family safe, to save her children's lives. And even when she was, like, in danger and everything was hectic, like, she was able to, like, stay calm and, like, still be super protective of her children. And. Yeah, I actually. I really, really liked that movie. I like her a lot.
B
Yeah, there's that really iconic clip from the Incredibles, the first movie where she's flying the plane and she's portrayed as this very. She's good at everything. Like, she knows they've worked as, like, spies, superheroes. Right. And so she knows how to fly the plane. She knows how to hide. She knows how to fight all this stuff. But then it comes down to this. They're flying the plane. Their missiles are being shot at them. The guy knows that he's targeting the family of this other. The superhero dad. And she's, like, fighting. I'm throwing my flares. I'm. I'm trying to call and say, look, we're civilians, or we have children on board. And it gets to this, like, crisis moment. She's yelling at her daughter, who has another superpower, put a force field or on the plane. And the little. The girl doesn't know what to do.
A
She doesn't know.
B
And she's yelling and trying to balance everything. You can just picture, like, mom's being stressed in a much less crazy way when you have a million things going on. But then ultimately it comes down to like, screw the plane runs to the back, grabs everybody and is able to basically. I don't. I don't remember how they're. Maybe she. Her daughter is able to do the force field and protects them from that initial blast. And then the mom or the mom just grabs them and they fly out of the plane when it blows up.
A
Yeah, I think that's what happens. I think it blew up and they like, she just grabbed them in time. So, like she jumped out and then she was able to like parachute herself to let the land slowly.
G
Yeah.
B
And an actually super sweet moment.
G
Right.
B
Her daughter is devastated. I couldn't do it. And she comforts her. That's okay. That was too. That was too stressful. That's a lot to ask of you. It's. We're fine and they're in the water. Like she's comforting everyone. You just do see moms in crisis all over the world that really have to deal with stuff like that. And it's like that mom protection. And then the mom comforting thing is just so huge. So that was really cool.
F
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
Another one, Molly Weasley. So she is the mom of the Weasley clan in Harry Potter. And yeah, it's. Their house is just pictured as sort of being chaos. Everybody's everywhere. Those older brothers are so rambunctious and they don't have a lot of money. That's like a big funny storyline is Ron Weasley never has anything cool and he has like his grandma's sweater or dress gown or whatever. And. But she just loves her family so well and they love being together. And then it's also really cool because she incorporates and invites Harry, who doesn't have a family, into that love and warmth. Kind of the way you've described your mom and how she took in any of your friends who didn't really have a place to go or had their moms were just busier and stuff. She was always that place people could go to feel that love. So it was awesome.
A
Joyce Byers.
B
So I haven't seen Stranger Things.
G
You're missing out.
A
I love it. I know. I don't know anyone who really doesn't like it. I'm not. I'm sure there's people out there, but I don't even want to tell you that much about it because the thing about Stranger Things is. It's, like, so much more exciting and fun. If you don't really have expectations going into it, you're, like, blown away. But I will just say she, at this some point, her son is missing, and everyone makes her feel crazy because they're like, you know, she. He's gone. Like, he's. You know, there's no. There's no coming back from it. You would need to give up. And then she basically is just like, nope, I'm not going to. And she's. They. They call her crazy, but she does, like, literally, whatever it takes, as crazy as she looks, she's gonna find her son. She knows he's alive. She won't give up hope. And she did. And they eventually reunite, and it's fantastic. And so I don't want to say too much more because I don't want to give it away to someone who hasn't seen it and do all the spoilers, but definitely worth watching and definitely, definitely a great mom through the whole series.
B
So, yeah, that's awesome. Love it. Okay, the next one's Claire Huxtable, who's from the Cosby Show. I've only seen this a few episodes in passing, but my general sense of her as a mom is she balances that warmth, love for her kids with just the sass and, like, the sarcastic. When your kids are up to no good and they're just trying to put stuff over on you. It is funny as an adult now and working with teenagers. So I don't have kids, but working with teenagers, you see those moments when they're obviously, it's kind of like that does not seem like you're telling me the truth in this moment, but I'm letting it go because it's not my business or I'm letting you deal with that on your own or whatever. You know, the ways that you have to interact with your kids when they're being sassy, you know, when they're older where you're not just. You put them in time out anymore, it's like, no, you have to engage with them, or they just have to be allowed to do their own choices. So that's a funny. She's a. A good picture of that.
A
She always reminds me of, like, you know how you have those teachers that are known for being really strict and you're a little bit scared of them, but they end up being the teacher because they have these high expectations of you, and it makes you work harder, and then you feel so much more accomplished because you're like, wow, I didn't even know that was in me. And they're the ones who brought it out. Like, that's the kind of mom she is, that I at least still love the Cosby Show. And growing up, I would watch it all the time, and she was just such a good mom. Like, she's so stable and loving, has high expectations and. But also very protective and warm, and so I really, really like her. And then, let's see here. Lee Ann Tui. I don't even know if I can pronounce that last name. Tui. That's a mom from the blind side. I haven't seen that in so long. But I did see it, and I did really like it. But basically, like, yeah, she. Even with her own kids, she's, like, super. Just supportive and helpful and then being able to, like, bring another person into this and love a child as her own and just, again, how protective she is and, like, she just doesn't play when it comes to her kids. And I just have a lot of respect for that.
B
Yeah, it was so good. I love that show. I mean, it's interesting. I don't even know. Are we supposed to get into the controversy of it? Because we're trying to keep it positive. But I've been really disappointed to hear how some of that story has gone post. I don't know if it was 2020, if it was BLM, if it was just the advent of you're not allowed to be a white savior. I remember some colleagues in my previous job were talking about white saviorism in the movies, and then he highlighted this movie and Cool Runnings as examples of white saviorism. I was like, first of all, those are true stories. These are things that actually happened. Sorry. That a white family saw someone who needed help and helped him and this guy. Were you going to be an NFL football player before they helped you and gave you just opportunities you didn't already have, that acting like they did it so they could benefit from him in some way. It's like, they're a rich white family. I don't know if they sacrificed and, like, gave, paid for school and, like, loved you and fed you for decades. So, oh, hopefully we can, like, he'll take care of us when we're old. They were already rich, so it's stuff like that. It's just such a bummer. And then the Cool Runnings one, I was like, bro, cool Runnings does not make the white guy look like the hero of the story.
A
Have you ever seen that one?
B
Oh, my gosh, it's based on a true story. It's the Jamaican bobsled team. It's like this white retired coach. I think he's a drunk who comes out of retirement for, like, this long shot. Yeah. Jamaican bobsled. It's a true story. They go to the Olympics, and I don't even think they finish, like, the race. But he. It's portrayed as, like, this group of friends who end up doing the bobsled team, draw him out of the shell and the reclusivity and the alcoholism that he had fallen into. So I was like, that's not white saviorism just because it's a white guy. So anyway, you know, there's just some things like that. But I think it's a beautiful story of sacrifice for someone who's not your biological kid. She had her other children, too, that she loved and cared for, and the way their family sacrificed was awesome. All right. This is a movie I haven't seen a ton. Maybe once or twice. Have you seen Forrest Gump?
A
I actually haven't seen a ton either. I have seen it, and this was one that I still think deserved to be on the list. But this is kind of, like, on the lower end. There's probably some other ones out there that we missed. But she was just. She just really defended her son and also taught him to really believe in himself, even though, like, how other people treated him. And I think that's so important because, like, having a little bit of confidence in yourself goes a long way. And I feel like a lot of it could have gone the other direction, where he had no confidence and wasn't able to achieve anything or, you know, care about himself at all. But I feel like that's what set his whole movie forward with his. Was his mom.
B
Yeah. When he had physical and intellectual disabilities. And, you know, you need someone who advocates for you and builds you up so you can reach your potential. Any child does needs those things, but especially when you have the world really looking at you on the outside and being like, you don't have value. You know, you need that person. Okay. Queen Ramonda from Black Panther, Wakanda Forever. I want to say she's played by Angela Bassett, who's probably like, a model or something. But, Yeah, I loved. I loved the Wakanda movies or the Black Panther movies. It's a really cool picture of leadership. Is she the queen mother because her husband dies at some point. That's right. And then her son becomes. So. Yeah, she's like the. The queen mother. That's supportive, though, of her son and his leadership, encouraging him when he needs it. You know, you're the. If you think about the mothers of these really famous, influential people, Elon Musk is a good example. That's the person who knows you for real. You're not going to be able to pretend you're someone different. It's like they know you. And when you need to cry for real, like a man, a big, strong man who's in charge of stuff, and you need, like, a person who loves you and cares about you, that's who they turn to their mom, you know?
A
Yeah, I'm gonna skip one real quick because I want to make sure we get it before we end because I know we're coming to a close soon. But Kala, which is from Tarzan. I love the movie Tarzan. I, my kids love that movie. But I think that, again, she chose to raise Tarzan and protect him as her own, even when, like, her husband was like, you know, against it and was like, why are you trying to raise a human? You're not a human. And. But she. She didn't care. Like, she just loved that baby with everything in her. And literally, because of that love, he was able to finally integrate into their whole, you know, little society and become the man that he became. Yeah, I love it. He's so sweet.
B
Well, I think that is all the time we have today, though, so thanks everyone for joining us for our sort of here for the comments. But it's our Mother's Day edition, so going through some moms in media and such. Hey, if we missed one that you love, put it in the comments or let us know who you think your favorite mom is, aside from your own mom, of course, which is a given. But thanks for joining us and we will catch you guys next time.
A
See ya.
Episode Title: Mothers and Fathers are NOT Interchangeable w/ the TBU Staff
Release Date: May 8, 2026
Host: Jennifer Friesen
Featured: Katie Faust, Josh Wood, Sunny, Mary Kovach, Sam DeLoache
In honor of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, the Them Before Us team shares personal stories and reflections about the unique ways their mothers and fathers shaped their lives, emphasizing that mothers and fathers each bring irreplaceable qualities to their children. The episode also transitions into a segment celebrating memorable fictional mothers from pop culture, exploring what makes these portrayals meaningful and resonant from a child-centric advocacy perspective.
Each staff member shares deeply personal anecdotes illuminating how mothers and fathers impart unique values, habits, and love, underscoring the non-interchangeability central to TBU’s child-centric mission.
Staff transition to discussing iconic fictional moms, examining what makes each one stand out as a memorable and sometimes model parent.
Sarah Connor (Terminator series)
Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)
Helen Parr (Elastigirl, The Incredibles)
Molly Weasley (Harry Potter)
Joyce Byers (Stranger Things)
Claire Huxtable (The Cosby Show)
Leigh Anne Tuohy (The Blind Side)
Mrs. Gump (Forrest Gump)
Queen Ramonda (Black Panther)
Kala (Tarzan)
On Parental Affection:
“He was just so playful and fun and for years, I still looked forward to that moment every day—my dad coming home, catching me midair. That was ‘dad’ to me.” — Katie Faust [02:49]
On Inherited Values:
“My love of reading, that’s my mom. My love of working out, that’s my dad. And both have stuck with me my whole life.” — Josh Wood [06:18]
On Practical Parenting:
“When you’re driving with someone like that, you kind of don’t really worry … they’re going to figure it out.” — Jennifer Friesen (about her dad) [19:52]
On Mom’s Universal Love:
“Anyone ever questions, if you have so many kids, how can you really love each and every one of them? You got to talk to my mom because somehow she pulled it off.” — Sam DeLoache [15:52]
On Pop-Culture Moms:
“Sarah Connor transformed herself into a warrior … every decision she makes is for her child.” — Sam [22:18]
“I actually … completely agree with you. I think she (Lorelai Gilmore) was a great mom. ... She just put everything into her kid instead of doing what a lot of people do, which is abandon your kid or be done with it because she was so young.” — Sam [25:47]
Through heartfelt personal stories and the examination of pop culture moms, the episode reinforces the premise that mothers and fathers influence children in profoundly distinct and irreplaceable ways. The episode celebrates the unique strengths, values, and everyday heroism embodied in these roles—both in real life and onscreen—and affirms the child-centric belief that no one can fully substitute for a child’s mother or father.
Listeners are encouraged to reflect on the parental influences in their own lives and to appreciate the diverse and invaluable contributions of both mothers and fathers.
Call to Action:
Listeners are invited to share their own favorite fictional moms in the comments, and to celebrate the real moms in their lives.