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Hey, y', all, I'm Dr. Joy, host of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. And welcome to another bonus episode in our special mini series helping you to optimize your travel experiences, brought to you in partnership with Chase Sapphire Reserve. Picture this. You and your girls are planning the perfect group getaway. Everyone's hyped, the group chat is going off with ideas, and you're already picturing all those moments for the gram. But then reality hits. Some people prefer luxury accommodations, while others are strictly budget conscious. One friend needs every minute planned out, while another prefers to go with the flow. Y' all know how this goes, right? Here's the thing about group travel. It can bring out the absolute best in your friendships, but it can also expose some stuff you didn't see coming. All those little dynamics that slide by in regular life. They get magnified when you're splitting hotel rooms and deciding how to spend your time and money together. So today we're talking about how to actually make your friendship stronger through group travel, not weaker. We're covering those conversations you need to have upfront about money, expectations, and boundaries. Trust me, a little awkwardness before the trip beats major drama during it. I'm also bringing in the friendship archetypes from my book Sisterhood Heals because they show up big time on group trips. Are you the leader organizing everything? The wallflower dropping wisdom when you speak? The firecracker who's keeping it real, or the peacemaker trying to help everyone stay happy? Once you know your type and can spot others, everything clicks differently. We'll get into managing different travel styles, when to split up the group on purpose, and what to do when conflict pops off. Because, let's be real, it happens and we need to know how to handle it without ruining relationships. Whether this is your first group trip or your 10th, I've got some tools that'll help you come back closer to not ready to block each other. So this is one of my favorite things to talk about, and I feel like we've been seeing much more of this on social and you know, people talk about how trips to Miami often result in friendship group splintering. And I think that this is really interesting. Not in a good way, because we never want to friendship groups to splinter necessarily, but I think a lot of this is related to not actually having the difficult conversations that we need to have before we embark upon something like a group trip. Now, I think as you get older and have a better sense of yourself, maybe we do a little bit better job of this. But I'm thinking Back to, like, some of the trips I took in, like, undergrad or, you know, when it was my first time, maybe, like, traveling with people and. And had no idea that you should even be talking about some of this stuff. And so when I think about it, there are five categories that I think would be really helpful for us to consider as we are thinking about embarking on group trips now. You already heard me talk about. I think that group travel is a great way to bond. There's a lot of research that talks about how having new experiences with one another actually help to strengthen friendships. And so going to a new place and exploring new things together is actually a great way for you to kind of spice up your friendships and to make some new memories together that you will then have to, like, laugh about and or commiserate about over the years. But it does require some intention. And I think it's important for us to think about how we can have some of these conversations on the front end so that we can have the best chance of having a great experience. But I also think it is important to know. So if you have read Sisterhood Heels, you know that I talk about four different types of sisters that we often find in friendship groups. And this happens just kind of in your regular everyday life with your girlfriends. But I think it is especially important to think about as you are preparing for something like a group trip. The four different sisters that you might find in a friendship circle are the peacemaker. So this is somebody who is kind of keeping the peace, wants everybody to get along. The wallflower. So this is the person who is not often saying a whole lot necessarily, in the friendship group, but when they do talk, everybody stops to listen because they are probably pretty observant and paying attention to maybe some of the interpersonal things happening in the group. The firecracker. So this is the person who is probably first out on the dance floor, but they are definitely also the person who is addressing the elephant in room, so to speak, and then the leader in the group. And this is the person who likely decided where y' all were going for the group trip. They may be the person who puts their card down and says, okay, everybody, just venmo me this amount of money. This is the person who is largely responsible for the group continuing to go and is largely responsible for the cohesiveness of the group. And so when you think about those different personality types, you can see what. What this might look like when we're thinking about a group trip. So if you haven't read the book or you're interested in finding out who you are in your friendship circle, you can go to sisterhood heals.com quiz there is an easy, quick quiz that you can take to figure out who you are in the group and who your girls might be in the group as you're thinking about preparing for a group trip. So like I said, five questions that I think are important for you to consider and and to actually have conversations about before you embark on the group trip. So the first one is, what type of trip is this? So is this a chill kickback trip? We're relaxing, hanging by the pool, maybe catching up on some reading? Is this an excursion, heavy trip, right? Like, is this a tight itinerary where there is a group breakfast every morning and we are expected to follow by the hour what the itinerary is or are we just winging it? I think that that is really important because I think we often have different expectations as we are heading into group experiences. Right? If you heard episode one of this miniseries, you heard me talk about the fact that we often prolong our getaways, right? Like, we are saving up all of our time to take this one trip. And so that means that we may have lots of expectations for how we are planning to spend this time, but if we've not actually had a conversation with the other people traveling with, then there can often be some tension related to different expectations of how that time is being spent. So that's the first thing that I want you to talk about before you embark on this group trip is what type of trip is this? Is this a go with the flow kind of chill vibe? Or is this an excursion, we're doing all the things kind of vibe? That's important. The second question is how much alone time should be expected. So is the expectation that we are doing everything together? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, massages, shopping, trips, like all the things, we are all together all the time, we're sharing rooms. Like, is it an all the time together kind of trip? Is it we're doing our own thing and then we meet up for meals kind of trip? Or is this the kind of thing where we just happen to be in the same place at the same time and I'll see you back at the airport when we catch our flight? Right. Again, different expectations, I think, lead to different results and there's no judgment about any of it. It's just important for you to talk about it and make sure that everybody is on the same page before you embark on the trip. The third one, and this is a big One, this is a big one. What are the funds looking like for the trip? So are you somebody who requires five star amenities or. Or is your motto, we just need a place to crash and to store our bags? Because those are different, right? And again, no judgment about either one of those, but those are very different experiences. And so if you are somebody who, you know, wants to spend time at the infacility spa and have a whole spa day, you are likely going to be looking for a very different kind of experience than somebody who is just like, okay, I want to spend most of the time outside of the room anyway. And so I don't really care. No judgment again, but those are very different experiences. I think it's really important to think about and we know anytime finances are involved, there's a potential for things to go haywire. And so it's really important to talk about these kinds of things on the front end. In addition to like what kinds of amenities, what kinds of places are we going to be staying at? You also want to talk about like, how are we paying for the trip? So I think I recently saw a TikTok, or maybe it was Instagram, about a group of friends who actually have like a shared checking account or savings account because they travel frequently and so every month or every so often they are putting money into the account so that that is what they use to like pay for group dinners and those kinds of things when they travel. That may be something for you to consider, but again, this is a conversation you want to have on the front end. So is the idea that this is something that is going to be split by however many people are traveling? Is it everybody pay for themselves? Is it one person trying to get points on their card and so they want to pay for it all and then you send them the money? Like what are the funds going to be looking like and how are we planning to pay for share things on the vacation? It's also important, I think, to think about like shared dinners. If you are not somebody who eats the fancy food or drinks alcoholic beverages, those things can definitely add up on a bill. Is the expectation that you will be paying for those things even though you may not have been participating in it? Right. Again, things that may seem little and trivial and not that big of a deal, but actually can turn into a big deal if you do not address them ahead of time. So that's the third thing that you want to talk about is the financial situation. How much are we paying for hotel, Airbnb? How are we paying for things when we get there, like, what is the deal with that? Okay, the fourth question is, what are the guidelines for shared space spaces? So this may not be that big of a deal if everybody has their own hotel rooms, but if you are sharing a room or sharing a suite or if it's an Airbnb situation, what kinds of guidelines are you having for shared spaces? So are you somebody who's cool with, like, hosting people that you meet on vacation in a shared space? Are you okay with your friend bringing back somebody to the hotel room? What is your vibe? Because again, you want to know that going into the traveling situation now, this may be a friend or a group of friends that you travel with before. And so you may already have a sense of what that is. But especially if you've not traveled with these people before, you do want to have an understanding of what kinds of things are okay and not okay, especially as it relates to shared space, because everybody may not be on the same page, right? So make sure you have that conversation ahead of time. And then finally, the fifth question is, how are we going to handle any hiccups that might come up? So will we sit down and address it head on? Do we feel like we need to write some things down and then take a break and come back and talk about it? Because we would like to hope that there's no conflict that will happen on the trip, but that may not be the case, right? Like, we're human. Things happen. And so how are we going to actually address this if it should happen? And so we may not come to an agreement about how to handle it, but I think it is a good idea to at least put it on the table that this is what we're thinking we will do if some conflict actually happens, right? It could be the kind of thing where you decide you want to address it head on, or it could be the kind of thing that you say, hey, I'm not cool with this, but it's something that we can talk about when we get back, right? Like, so maybe it's not something that needs to be addressed in the moment, but you do have a plan to admit address it when you get back to wherever you are. I think either of those is totally fine, but I do think at least putting it on the table, like, hey, how would you like me to address you if I feel like something's off? Like, just putting that kind of conversation out there, I think is a good example, sets a good model for, like, hey, we understand that things might happen, and this is how we're going to attempt to remedy any situation that might pop up. So those are the areas that I think are really, really important for you to address pre group trip. But I would love to hear if any of you have regular friends that you travel with. Like what kinds of conversations have you had before so that you can optimize the group trip and have the best chance of actually having a great experience. Please share those with us on social media if you have them. So as we wrap up today's conversation about group travel and friends friendship dynamics, I hope you're feeling a little more equipped to approach your next group adventure with intention and clarity. Remember, the goal isn't to avoid all conflicts or pretend that everyone has identical travel styles. The goal is to create space for honest communication, set clear expectations, and develop skills to navigate challenges when they arise. Because they will arise. And that's completely normal. The conversations we've discussed today about budgets, boundaries and expectations might feel uncomfortable at first, but they're investments in your relationship. Understanding your own friendship archetype and recognizing others can transform not just your travel experiences, but how you show up in your friendships. Overall, group travel at its best, creates some of our most treasured memories and deepens connections in ways that everyday life simply can't. When done thoughtfully, these shared experiences become the stories you'll laugh about for years to come. If you're planning a group trip, start those conversations now, or if you've just returned from one, don't let the experience fade without processing it together. Your friendships are worth the intentional effort. Thank you for joining me for another episode in our Travel Optimization miniseries, brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. For more resources on friendship and mental health, visit therapyforblackgirls.com and sisterhoodheals.com until next time, take good care of.