Therapy for Black Girls — Session 405: Unpacking Intimacy with Dr. Tiff Henry
Host: Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Guest: Dr. Tiffany “Dr. Tiff” Henry
Date: April 2, 2025
Episode Overview
In this insightful episode, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford sits down with Dr. Tiffany Henry (aka Dr. Tiff) to discuss the increasingly critical role of intimacy coordinators in film and television, as well as broader conversations around intimacy, safety, and representation—on screen and in our lives. Dr. Tiff, a sex and mental health expert, shares her journey from psychology student to certified intimacy coordinator, unpacks the practicalities and ethics of her work, and explores the unique perspective she brings as a Black woman in these spaces.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Dr. Tiff’s Path to Sex Therapy & Intimacy Coordination
- Finding Purpose through Scholarship & Representation
- Dr. Tiff traces her journey back to undergrad, where her father suggested psychology as a major ("Dad was like, well, you know, I think you should do psychology. You're really good at listening to people..." [06:41]).
- Early inspirations included TV and radio therapists like Dr. Drew and Dr. Ruth, but Dr. Tiff notes the lack of visible Black sex therapists at the time.
- Importance of Black Representation
- Dr. Joy recalls Dr. Gail Wyatt as a defining figure; Dr. Tiff cites her own mentor, Dr. Joyce Morley Ball, who taught her “you are not your diagnosis”—a message Dr. Tiff carries into all her work.
"You are not your diagnosis. ... No, you’re a person who has symptoms that are characteristic of a diagnosis. You are still a person." — Dr. Tiff [11:40]
- Dr. Joy recalls Dr. Gail Wyatt as a defining figure; Dr. Tiff cites her own mentor, Dr. Joyce Morley Ball, who taught her “you are not your diagnosis”—a message Dr. Tiff carries into all her work.
The Role of an Intimacy Coordinator
- What Does an Intimacy Coordinator Do?
- Ensures actors feel safe and respected during scenes involving intimacy, nudity, or simulated sex.
- Reviews scripts to flag and discuss any scenes with physical or emotional intimacy; meets with directors and actors to set boundaries; documents agreements via "riders"; maintains flexibility if actors change their minds; safeguards the set environment.
- "Just because a director may have a vision for what they want to see, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the actor... is comfortable with portraying it in that way." — Dr. Tiff [14:45]
- History and Rise of the Field
- Though the field existed before, the MeToo movement and specific cases of on-set abuse prompted the widespread adoption of intimacy coordinators, especially by networks like HBO.
"Like, the casting couch didn’t become just this mythical thing we had always heard about. It was real." — Dr. Tiff [17:25]
- Though the field existed before, the MeToo movement and specific cases of on-set abuse prompted the widespread adoption of intimacy coordinators, especially by networks like HBO.
Certification and Training
- Certification is Multidisciplinary
- Programs like the Intimacy Professionals Association (IPA) train coordinators across various backgrounds; you don’t need to be a therapist, but attention to consent, boundaries, detail, and comfort is crucial.
- Training addresses technical on-set knowledge, boundary-setting, and the practical choreography of simulated intimacy ("how to make sex look real when penetration is absolutely not happening" [22:12]), including creative solutions (like using partially-inflated yoga balls as barriers).
- Realism vs. Actor Safety
- Ensuring the camera captures only what actors have agreed to, even managing details like showing a breast but not a nipple—"how to block that with body position or props" [21:00].
On-Set Logistics and Ethics
- Where Is the Intimacy Coordinator?
- Usually in "video village" (monitors area) to watch what the camera sees; sometimes immediately off-set to adjust things between takes ([28:52]).
- Defining Intimacy—Beyond the Physical
- For Dr. Tiff, true intimacy involves both emotional and physical closeness ("Emotional closeness and physical closeness. I believe you need to have both for true intimacy." — Dr. Tiff [30:54]).
- She aims to add emotional nuance to physical scenes, coaching subtle gestures to communicate connection (caressing, hand placement, facial expressions).
- Consent and Agency
- Continuous conversation—boundaries can change between scenes and episodes, and it’s routine to check in anew with every major scene.
"Just because I felt comfortable kissing this person in the last scene, doesn’t mean I’m going to be comfortable... in the next." — Dr. Tiff [35:22]
- Continuous conversation—boundaries can change between scenes and episodes, and it’s routine to check in anew with every major scene.
Aftercare and Actor Well-Being
- Aftercare Practices
- Varies by production: some are proactive and prioritize mental health; others see it as an afterthought.
- Dr. Tiff recounts serving as both a “sensitivity coordinator” and intimacy coordinator on different productions, noting the heavy mental toll of difficult scripts and advocating for greater access to mental health support on set.
"Aftercare is not a standard and intimacy coordination is still relatively new... I wish and I hope that the future of our sets and the safety on sets includes more mental health access." — Dr. Tiff [36:45]
Entering the Field & Representation
- Getting Hired & Navigating the Industry
- Most of Dr. Tiff’s work comes from word-of-mouth and repeat production teams, not social media or cold outreach ([39:40]).
- Sometimes Black productions specifically seek Black intimacy coordinators for cultural congruence, but often it's about established relationships and reputation.
- Showing Up as a Black Woman
- “I show up, and I am black, blackity black. I have to come in as unapologetically who I am…” — Dr. Tiff [42:50]
- Joy and Tiff discuss how being visibly and audibly authentic is vital, especially to inspire the next generation:
“Don’t be afraid of being the first. Just do it. If God put the dream in your heart, it is yours to have.” — Dr. Tiff [45:04]
Intimacy in Pop Culture & Sex Ed on Screen
- Addressing Condom Gate & Realism on Screen
- Discussing critiques like “Condom Gate” from Insecure, Dr. Tiff advocates for showing responsible sexual practices and avoiding unrealistic shortcuts in sex scenes:
“I think it’s critical if it’s a male-identified and female-identified partner that we see somebody’s hand go down to make sure the penis makes its way into the vagina... It doesn’t magically find its way into...” — Dr. Tiff [49:40]
- Discussing critiques like “Condom Gate” from Insecure, Dr. Tiff advocates for showing responsible sexual practices and avoiding unrealistic shortcuts in sex scenes:
- Sensitivity Coordination and the Future
- The fields of intimacy and sensitivity coordination are becoming more professionalized and unionized (partnerships with SAG-AFTRA); she predicts growing but not universal integration of mental health experts on major productions ([51:50]).
Advice for Aspiring Intimacy Coordinators
- Self-Assessment and Research
- Make sure you’re genuinely comfortable discussing sex, intimacy, and boundaries.
- Research training and certification programs (IPA, IDC, others); talk to professionals in the field.
- Look for opportunities to shadow or assist on set; understanding set culture is invaluable. Alternative routes include working as a PA or in another crew role first.
“If you’re interested in one area... just get on set. Once you’re there, you’ll see so many windows of opportunity and things you didn’t even know existed.” — Dr. Tiff [58:12]
- Reach Out
- Offer to buy an IC coffee and ask about their work; hands-on advice can be eye-opening ([57:35]).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Being the First:
“When I started doing sex therapy, I didn’t see... someone of color like me. ... I became the first Black certified sex therapist in the state of Georgia. ... If you see a person doing it, you can do it and be the first. Don’t be afraid...” — Dr. Tiff ([44:30])
- Defining Her Mission:
“My primary work is in helping women learn how to effortlessly attract the love that they want to call in—primarily by focusing on their own growth and transformation.” — Dr. Tiff ([61:15])
Important Segments & Timestamps
- Dr. Tiff’s Backstory & Influence: [06:41]
- What Is Intimacy Coordination?: [13:19]
- Rise of the Profession after MeToo: [17:25]
- Certification Details & Choreographing Intimacy: [20:19–22:12]
- Ethical Safeguards & Practical Set Challenges: [28:52]
- Defining Intimacy (Therapeutic & On Set): [30:54]
- Actor Comfort and Ongoing Consent: [33:52, 35:22]
- Aftercare and Sensitivity Coordination: [36:45, 51:21]
- Representation and Authorship: [42:50, 44:30]
- Pop Culture and Sex Ed onscreen: [49:08]
- Advice for Entering the Field: [56:19–59:33]
- How to Connect with Dr. Tiff: [59:45]
Connect with Dr. Tiff
- Instagram: @DrTiffanieTV
- Podcast: Intimate Details with Dr. Tiff (Season 4 forthcoming, centered on purpose)
- YouTube: Dr. Tiffany TV
- Newsletter: via Instagram link
Final Note
Dr. Tiff’s episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the intersections of mental health, sexuality, representation, and safe artistic expression. Her blend of expertise and authenticity provides both practical industry insights and motivational wisdom, especially for Black women and those drawn to pioneering new spaces.