Therapy for Black Girls – Session 406: Rewrite Your Rules with Morgan DeBaun

Air Date: April 9, 2025
Host: Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Guest: Morgan DeBaun, Founder & CEO of Blavity, Inc.

Episode Overview

In this inspiring episode, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford sits down with Morgan DeBaun—visionary entrepreneur, founder and CEO of Blavity Inc., and author of the new book Rewrite Your Rules. The conversation centers on how to break free from external expectations, redefine success on your own terms, and apply entrepreneurial lessons to building a fulfilling, authentic, and sustainable life. Morgan offers actionable advice, candid reflections on mental health, personal stories of risk, resilience, and how centering your purpose changes everything.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Your Own Success & “Rewriting the Rules”

• Origin of the Book & Mindset Shift

  • Morgan traces her approach back to always questioning expectations:

    “From an early age, I felt like all the rules and expectations that were put on me were things I just wasn't going to follow… if this doesn't work for me, then I can just change it.” (06:11 – 07:07, Morgan DeBaun)

  • She emphasizes that anyone can—and should—take charge as CEO of their own life, not just business leaders.

    “Everybody should consider themselves the CEO of their lives, because whether they do or not, they are.” (09:17, Morgan DeBaun)

• Letting Go of “Shoulds” and External Validation

  • Morgan discusses letting go of the belief that success requires being in a big city:

    “I own this company… I don't need to justify my location as a fully remote company to anybody besides my board, really.” (07:25 – 08:56, Morgan DeBaun)

2. Purpose Principle & Identity Beyond Roles

• Finding Purpose Internally

  • Morgan introduces the “purpose principle”: your purpose must be rooted in your own joy, not just roles like ‘mom’ or ‘wife.’

    “Your purpose can't be for the betterment of other people's happiness, it has to be based off your intrinsic happiness… It's not just the title.” (11:45 – 12:53, Morgan DeBaun)

• How to Discover Your Purpose

  • Pay attention to what you do naturally, even if you’re not paid for it:

    “What are you doing naturally? Like, when no one is looking… there’s no judgment on what it is that you enjoy.” (13:20 – 14:37, Morgan DeBaun)

  • Dr. Joy’s self-reflection:

    “I think connecting… connecting the dots and connecting people.” (14:42, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford)

3. Navigating Fear: Failure & Success

• Both Fear of Failure and Fear of Success
  • Morgan breaks down her own relationship with fear, noting that exposure, vulnerability, and acceptance of imperfection are essential.

    “Get more comfortable being bad at things… The more you become comfortable with it, this is through exposure therapy.” (15:33 – 16:23, Morgan DeBaun)

  • Fear of success is real:

    “There were times in my career where I literally would not respond to emails or go to events because I didn't want the responsibility of all the people wanting something from me.” (16:40 – 17:30, Morgan DeBaun)

• Tough Decisions: Owning the CEO Mentality for Your Own Life

  “It's your responsibility to make the tough calls and to fix whatever thing you need to work through.” (17:56, Morgan DeBaun)

4. Scaling, Change & Managing in Uncertain Times

• Speed, Iteration, and Letting Go of Outcomes
  • On business realities:

    “The faster you can speed up your innovation cycle, the faster you can make decisions and take action, get a result, and then start over again. That's actually how people get to the next level.” (22:24, Morgan DeBaun)

5. Mental Health, Therapy, and Support Systems

• Personal Accountability and Getting Support

  • Morgan is candid about her struggles and practical efforts—including meditation, therapy, and hiring experts.

    “There were times… I’d wake up in the morning and you're like, I don't even like being the CEO… The first thing I practiced was meditation… The second thing was hire help… And then eventually I hired a therapist…” (23:35 – 25:11, Morgan DeBaun)

• Bringing Others In and Setting Boundaries

  • On building her team:

    “You have to assume that most people are good and most people want to help if they can. And if you tell them exactly what you need, people will show up for you.” (40:54, Morgan DeBaun)

  • When hiring friends/family, clear contracts and objectivity matter:

    “Figure out a way to be objective and make sure you have some sort of contract or some sort of milestone in place so that there’s a natural end.” (44:00, Morgan DeBaun)

6. The Six Pillars Framework

Morgan introduces six core “pillars” to prioritize for a full, authentic life:

1. Stability
2. Freedom
3. Money
4. Passions
5. Relationships
6. Wellness

• “At any given point, you can prioritize three of them… You absolutely can have it all. But you got to prioritize a couple things first and then put everything else in maintenance mode.” (26:01 – 26:54, Morgan DeBaun)

• Give yourself grace:

  “I don't shame myself for canceling [Pilates]. I let myself cancel it…You can change your pillars at any given point, and I recommend it.” (27:50 – 28:43, Morgan DeBaun)

7. Being Data-Driven—In Life and Business

• Know Your Numbers
  • “If there is one thing in the book that will change your life…it's knowing your numbers…people can tell me what they want, they can tell me where they think they're going. Before we can even talk about where you're going, I need to understand what's working already so that we can build from your strengths.” (29:39 – 31:44, Morgan DeBaun)

8. Navigating External Pressures (DEI, Rollbacks, Political Climate)

• On Market Fluctuations for Black Businesses
  • Morgan addresses post-2020 DEI rollbacks and resilient strategy:

    “For Blavity, it was an interesting time… But once you get on [retail] shelves, your product should be good enough that you should be able to stay there… be really excellent at what you do so much so that people can't take it away from you when that opportunity becomes not trendy anymore.” (32:15 – 37:22, Morgan DeBaun)

9. Contentment vs. Happiness

• Why Contentment is Preferable

  “Contentment is really what you're striving for, which is—I feel at peace with my day to day… there are moments of happiness that I feel, but I do not strive to be happy as a state. I strive to be content.” (45:37 – 46:54, Morgan DeBaun)

10. Handling Pushback from Others When Rewriting Your Rules

• Family Expectations and Internal Validation

  “It was so painful because I'm sacrificing everything for this vision and you're calling it a hobby… You have to learn to live for yourself.” (48:28 – 50:09, Morgan DeBaun)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I'm already doing the things. I own this company. We're growing. We make an impact every single day. I don't need to justify my location…” (08:45, Morgan DeBaun)
• “Your purpose can't be for the betterment of other people's happiness. It has to be based off your intrinsic happiness.” (11:47, Morgan DeBaun)
• “Get more comfortable being bad at things… practice this idea that failure is not actually the worst outcome.” (15:33, Morgan DeBaun)
• “You’re 100% capable of getting anywhere that you want to go in life. But just like a CEO, it's your responsibility to make the tough calls…” (17:55, Morgan DeBaun)
• “You have to assume that most people are good and most people want to help if they can. And if you tell them exactly what you need, people will show up for you.” (40:54, Morgan DeBaun)
• “I strive to be content. And I think that that also has managed my expectations of what it's like to live a really stable, grounded life full of love, full of family, full of challenges…” (45:53, Morgan DeBaun)
• “You have to learn to live for yourself… I'm the one that wakes up every morning and has to live my life.” (49:31, Morgan DeBaun)

Key Timestamps

• 05:36 – Morgan’s check-in and book origin story
• 06:11 – On questioning societal rules
• 07:25 – Letting go of location-based success “shoulds”
• 09:17 – Applying CEO lessons to life
• 11:47 – Discovering your personal purpose, not just titles
• 13:20 – Steps to identify your true purpose
• 15:33 – Navigating fear (failure and success)
• 22:24 – Speed, action, and iteration as the secret to scaling/growth
• 23:35 – Mental health practices, therapy, and asking for support
• 26:01 – The six pillars and prioritizing in life
• 29:39 – The necessity of knowing your data/numbers
• 32:15 – Market shifts, DEI changes, and staying excellent
• 40:54 – Building community, hiring, and honest vulnerability
• 45:37 – Contentment as a life goal over happiness
• 48:28 – Handling external doubts (family, peers)
• 51:21 – What Morgan wants readers to gain from her book

Further Engagement

Morgan DeBaun Online

• Rewrite Your Rules – Book & Toolkit
• Podcast: The Journey by Morgan DeBaun
• Social: @morgandebaun on all platforms

This episode is a must-listen for entrepreneurial spirits, women seeking to find and honor their own voice, and anyone ready to move from “shoulds” to intentional living.