Podcast Summary: Therapy for Black Girls – Session 430

Re-Living Single with Erika Alexander & Kim Coles

Release Date: September 24, 2025
Host: Dr. Joy Harden Bradford
Guests: Erika Alexander and Kim Coles

Main Theme

This episode of Therapy for Black Girls brings together two cultural icons—Erika Alexander and Kim Coles, beloved cast members of the seminal '90s sitcom Living Single—to reflect on their new podcast, Reliving Single. Dr. Joy facilitates a nuanced, heartfelt discussion about the sitcom's legacy, sisterhood on and off screen, the challenges Black women face in entertainment, personal and professional growth, and mental health journeys.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Legacy and Impact of Living Single

• Immediate Magic: Kim Coles recalls the "magic" she felt at the first table read, feeling the chemistry and potential from day one.

  "I knew the moment the six of us got into a room together... I felt the magic immediately... it felt like it was going to absolutely work."
  (Kim Coles, 05:53)

• Diverse Talent, Authentic Joy: The cast’s varied backgrounds contributed to an intersection of “Black joy” that felt genuine and unique in the landscape of '90s television.

  "It just felt like we were coming from different worlds, all coming in this intersection of black joy."
  (Kim Coles, 07:25)

• Trope of Four Best Friends: They discuss how Living Single solidified the “group of four friends” TV format for Black women, influencing shows from Sex and the City to Harlem.

  “There are archetypes built into that... it seems to be a formula and a recipe that works.”
  (Erika Alexander, 08:27)

The Reliving Single Podcast — A Love Letter and Masterclass

• Fan Connection and Reflection: The podcast is described as both a “love letter” and a “master class” for fans and aspiring creatives, offering behind-the-scenes perspectives, untold stories, and lessons learned.

  "...a master class... where we get to tell everybody what we've learned... that's something young people need to see."
  (Erika Alexander, 11:43)

• Revelations & Healing: Reconnecting in this new context has led to unexpected healing. Old wounds and stories surface, allowing for overdue processing and open dialogue.

  "To hear anything that gets revealed... that we couldn't have changed or didn't know how to change is challenging..."
  (Kim Coles, 15:13)

• Sisterhood Through Change: Kim and Erika discuss the evolution of their friendship and their shared “pact to always return to love,” even as conflicts arise.

  "...we made a pact to always return to love, and that's what grounds it for me, no matter what."
  (Kim Coles, 17:18)

Mental Health, Identity, and Life After Living Single

The Personal Cost of Iconic Roles

• Pressure and Isolation: Erika opens up about the isolating experience of fame, her upbringing, and the difficulties in showing vulnerability.

  "A lot of what I think is just in my head because I've had to live in an isolated space in my head... It's not necessarily healthy."
  (Erika Alexander, 21:43)

• Permission to Feel: Both guests emphasize the necessity of expressing both laughter and tears, challenging the stigma around vulnerability.

  "Every time you feel the urge to cry, you should cry... my tears are just as important, if not more important, than my laughter."
  (Erika Alexander, 23:43)

• Depression After the Show: Kim shares openly about her post-show depression, the pressures of sudden change, and how maladaptive coping (e.g., overshopping) led her to seek help.

  "After living single ended, I went into depression... I went through a very intense time of over shopping. That was my bias of choice."
  (Kim Coles, 23:56)

Personal Growth and Reinvention

• Career Reinvention: Both Kim and Erika detail reinventing their careers out of necessity as Hollywood opportunities dried up, ultimately finding fulfillment in writing, producing, speaking, and entrepreneurship.

  • Erika: Moved into writing, producing, and activism, building skills and influence beyond acting.

    "...all these things that you think don't matter, it adds up to a life and a career that you can be proud of. But you must do the foundational work."
    (Erika Alexander, 37:14)

  • Kim: Pivoted to stand-up, speaking, authorship, and building her own "Kimpire," helping others tell their stories outside of industry gatekeepers.

    "There's nothing better than taking your gifts and talents and abilities directly to the people... the power was in the people's hands."
    (Kim Coles, 38:48)

Representation and Responsibility

• Portrayal of Black Women: Both women express immense pride in how Living Single portrayed Black women as multi-dimensional—professional, vulnerable, angry, joyful, and real.

  "We were all the things... done in a very classy, fun, experiential way."
  (Kim Coles, 46:54)

• Cultural Duty: Erika places their success in historical context, reflecting on the responsibility to honor predecessors and be mindful of their platform.

  "As black women, if you see the people who've come before us... they talk about what they did so we could be here... This is our leg of the race."
  (Erika Alexander, 48:02)

Advice for Next Generation Creatives

• Nurture Authenticity and Growth: Erika counsels aspiring artists to own their authenticity while relentlessly seeking new experiences and doing the inner work to process and download their own ideas.

  "You already are authentic. You have to own it, own yourself... but just because it's there doesn't mean that you don't have to nurture it and do the work."
  (Erika Alexander, 51:02)

• Embrace the Cycles: Kim shares a poignant lesson on the cyclical and unpredictable nature of a career in entertainment, encouraging resilience, spiritual grounding, and gratitude for all phases.

  “Who is Kim Coles? Introducing Kim Coles. Get me Kim Coles. Get me a Kim Coles type. Can you get me a cheaper Kim Coles?... There will be ups and downs, there will be stage, there'll be moments that you feel that you've arrived and moments that go, no, it's not your turn this time.”
  (Kim Coles, 52:21)

• Comedy and Tragedy Intertwined: Ending with a reflection on the interplay between humor and pain:

  "People think that being in comedy or having comedy means you're not serious. But I find that comedians are the most... serious as a heart attack."
  (Erika Alexander, 55:09)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Emotional Expression:
  “My tears are just as important, if not more important, than my laughter. We suppress our tears, but not our laughter. That is wrong.”
  (Erika Alexander, 23:43)

• On the Power of Storytelling:
  “We are the vessel that is used to tell their stories... The biggest culture makers in world history, there’s no doubt. But we were chosen, a very small set, to do it.”
  (Erika Alexander, 48:01)

• On Sisterhood:
  “…you can only do with a friend and a sister. And we have more time on the books than most. So it’s an investment...to know that it’s important to be a healthy human for you to come together.”
  (Erika Alexander, 15:37)

• On Navigating the Industry:
  "One monkey don't stop no show. I'm an actress but also an intelligent person. I couldn't make a living waiting for the next job. I would have to grow, I would have to expand."
  (Erika Alexander, 37:14)

• On Legacy:
  “Now we've created a home where new people can...witness the depth of the legacy. So who knows how far it will go? I think it's rich and it's real.”
  (Kim Coles, 10:13)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 05:41–08:07: Magic of the cast and origins of Living Single’s special chemistry
• 08:27–10:03: The “four friends” trope and Living Single’s formulaic influence
• 10:13–13:05: Discussing legacy and what it means to the cast now
• 13:05–16:38: Vulnerable revelations and the healing power of reflection
• 21:43–26:41: Mental health impacts, coping with life after Living Single
• 34:11–38:41: Career transformations and the reality of typecasting and industry shifts
• 46:54–50:47: The ongoing influence of Living Single on Black women’s representation in media
• 51:02–55:50: Closing advice for the next generation, lessons in authenticity and self-care
• 55:09–55:50: The deep seriousness behind comedy; comedy and tragedy masks

Where to Listen & Connect

• Reliving Single Podcast: Available on Spotify, YouTube (recommended by Kim and Erika for the visuals), and other major platforms.
• Follow the Guests:
  • Erika Alexander: @erikaalexanderthegreat
  • Kim Coles: @kimcoles

Tone and Style Notes

The conversation throughout is candid, heartfelt, and rich with wisdom—balancing laughter and vulnerability. Both guests use humor, honesty, and storytelling to connect, modeling the very sisterhood and self-reflection their work has come to symbolize.

For Listeners

If you’re nostalgic for Living Single, interested in the realities of sustaining a career as a Black woman in Hollywood, or seeking frameworks for authenticity, growth, and mental wellness, this episode offers generous, actionable insights with warmth and honesty.