Therapy for Black Girls – Session 439: ICYMI - Steadying Yourself for the Holidays

Host: Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, Ph.D.
Release Date: November 26, 2025

Episode Overview

In this throwback episode, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford revisits the timely topic of managing mental health during the holiday season. With warmth and practical wisdom, she distinguishes the “holiday blues” from clinical depression, explores why the holidays can bring mixed emotions, and shares six hands-on strategies to help listeners navigate the season with intention and less stress. The episode is designed to offer reassurance, validation, and actionable advice, especially for those feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or sad during the holidays.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The “Holiday Blues” vs. Major Depression

[05:11 - 09:20]

• What Are the Holiday Blues?
  Dr. Joy defines "holiday blues" as a seasonal increase in sadness and anxiety, caused by a mix of factors unique to this time of year.

  • Decreased daylight due to time change can lower mood and disrupt sleep.
  • Increased alcohol use at gatherings can worsen depressive feelings:

    "It's important to remember that alcohol acts as a depressant on the system, so if you're already feeling a little down, the increased alcohol may actually make your mood more depressed." [06:42]

  • Unrealistic expectations about oneself compared to others' achievements can add pressure and cause disappointment.

    "None of us is perfect, and sometimes we develop unrealistic expectations over the holidays of what we should accomplish..." [07:24]

• Difference Between Holiday Blues and Depression
  Dr. Joy provides a clear list of symptoms that distinguish major depressive disorder from seasonal sadness.

  • Major depression is defined by five or more symptoms (e.g., persistent sadness, loss of interest, changes in sleep and appetite, guilt, hopelessness) lasting at least two weeks and interfering with daily life.
  • She stresses the importance of seeking help if symptoms persist beyond the holidays or significantly impact functioning.

    "If you notice that you've been experiencing some of these symptoms during the holidays and they last well into the new year… it may be time to talk with someone about getting some help." [08:52]

Six Tips for Steadying Yourself for the Holidays

[09:22 - 19:50]

1. Be Realistic About Your Budget
[09:22 – 10:11, 14:23]

• Acknowledge the temptation to overspend as a way to show love or compensate for lack of time spent with loved ones.
• Suggests creative gift ideas that aren’t monetary, like babysitting or making a special playlist.

  "Can you do things like offer to babysit or make a special playlist for the people that you love?" [09:59]

• Recommends setting aside a bit of money each month for next year’s gifts to avoid last-minute financial stress.

2. Create New Traditions or Re-examine Old Ones
[14:23]

• Particularly relevant if you can’t be with family; proposes "Friendsgiving" or volunteering as alternative celebrations.

  "It’s really important to think about what feels right to you and how you would like to spend this time of the year." [14:41]

3. Make a Game Plan for Coping with Loss
[15:00]

• Plan ahead for traditions if a loved one has passed (e.g., choose someone new to say the prayer, incorporate their favorite song).

  "One of the most important things is to plan ahead and not get to Thanksgiving morning and be panicked about who's going to lead the prayer." [15:45]

• Advises against avoidance; while the first holiday after a loss is painful, it is manageable and ultimately healing.

4. Set and Maintain Boundaries
[16:54]

• Recognizes the overwhelming demands from family, friends, and work during the holidays.
• Advocates for saying "no" and not trying to do it all.

  "Sis, you simply cannot do everything... It’s okay to say no." [17:25]

5. Build Downtime into Your Schedule
[18:25]

• Suggests giving yourself a buffer before returning to work or school, or even taking a solo vacation or staycation.

  "This might be the perfect time to take that solo vacation you’ve been dreaming about, or to have a staycation right in your own home or your city." [18:25]

• Links back to creating new traditions that serve your needs.

6. Allow Yourself Space to Feel
[18:56]

• Rejects the expectation that everyone should be happy during the holidays.
• Validates feelings of sadness, worry, or a lack of festivity during this time.

  "Give yourself permission to experience your feelings without making any judgments about them. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone." [19:26]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The holidays do not prevent sadness or loneliness.” [08:03]
• “Be realistic in what you seek to achieve, both personally and professionally. Don’t label the holidays as a time to cure all past problems.” [07:40]
• “You simply cannot do everything. Especially during the holidays. It’s okay to say no.” [17:25]
• “If you just are not feeling it this year, all of that is okay. Give yourself permission to experience your feelings without making any judgments about them. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.” [19:26]

Important Timestamps

• What are the holiday blues? – [05:11]
• Factors behind holiday blues – [05:30–07:15]
• Major depression criteria – [07:55]
• Six tips for steadying yourself – [09:22]
• Practical examples for each tip – [09:59 – 19:26]

Invitation for Listener Engagement

• Dr. Joy invites listeners to share their holiday coping strategies using the hashtag #tbginsession [19:27] and encourages sharing the episode with friends who may benefit from its wisdom.

Tone & Style

Dr. Joy speaks with compassion, relatability, and a nonjudgmental approach. She offers validation, practical advice, and encouragement, creating a supportive space for those who feel overwhelmed or anxious about the holidays.

Summary

This episode offers a balanced, empathetic exploration of why the holidays spark a variety of feelings, including sadness and stress. Dr. Joy provides clear guidance for distinguishing between temporary seasonal blues and clinical depression, and equips listeners with six actionable tools for creating a holiday season that feels more intentional and less overwhelming. The episode is rich in validation and reassurance, reminding listeners that all feelings are welcome, and that it’s okay to put your emotional needs front and center during this time of year.