← Therapy for Black Girls
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- [00:11]
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Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health.
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Personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website@therapyforblackgirls.com while I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional.
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Hey y', all, thanks so much for joining me for session 439 of the therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation after.
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A word from our sponsors. This is an I Heart Podcast.
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Guaranteed Human living with an autoimmune condition isn't easy and every journey is different. That's why Season five of Untold Life with a Severe Autoimmune Condition from Ruby Studio in Argenics shares powerful firsthand stories from people with conditions like MG and cidp. Hosted by Martine Hackett, these conversations dive into what resilience really looks like through setbacks, breakthroughs and finding strength in community. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Today I wanted to share some thoughts about investing in your future while showing up for your present needs. Most of us play a lot of roles in life partner, employee, caregiver. But many of us also think about another role that could take our life to where we want it to be. Degree Holder that's where a national university comes in. They've been busy since 1971 creating more ways for you to work earning a degree into your busy life. NU confers more graduate degrees to diverse populations than any other institution in the country, with more than half being earned by women with flexible online formats, four and eight week courses, monthly class starts and year round enrollment. NU is an accredited nonprofit university that makes higher education possible and achievable for busy working adults with over 150 different degrees, credentials and certificates to choose from. They have a program that fits your career goals too. Learn more today at nu.edu. the biggest deals of the year are now at Macy's and it's just in time for you to complete all of your holiday shopping for the artsy creatives kids or kids at heart get lego sets at 20 to 40% off and anyone who needs a little softness in their life will surely appreciate a cozy cashmere sweater that you can find on sale starting at $49.99. And when you buy your gifts at Macy's you can also round up to donate to Big Brothers Big Sisters to help create one to one mentoring relationships for youth. Get ahead, Give big and save bigger. Macy's Black Friday Shop the deals now before they're gone in store or@macy's.com these days, most things cost an arm and a leg, especially vacations. But not in Rhode Island. Between affordable luxury stays, succulent seafood right from the source, and spectacular shopping that won't break the bank, you get a real bang for your buck in the Ocean State. The memories will be priceless, but the cost will be a lot less. Rhode island all that. Plan your trip today at visitroadisland.com that's Visit Rhode Island.com your time and energy are precious and the people you date should honor that. That's why everyone loves Bumble, today's sponsor. It's built for intentional dating, helping you connect with people who genuinely respect your boundaries and your heart. And because so many of us want to feel safer when meeting someone new, Bumble gives you peace of mind with options like photo and ID verification so you know the person you're talking to is who they say they are. If you've been thinking about dating again, take this as your sign. Start your love story on Bumble. The holidays can be beautiful, stressful, joyful, and overwhelming. Sometimes all at once. As we step into this season, I wanted to revisit a conversation that so many of you have told me was helpful for you in years past. In this throwback episode, I'm talking about the holiday blues. I break down what it actually is, why it happens, and how to tell the difference between holiday blues and major depression. Most importantly, I'm walking through six practical tips you can use right now to help you move through the holidays with more intention and less stress. I hope this episode meets you where you are. If something resonates with you while enjoying this conversation, please share it with us on social media using the hashtag tbginsession. We've made it to that time of.
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The year that you've either been looking forward to or dreading for any number of reasons. Next week officially starts the holiday season. Even though some of the stores have had their Christmas decorations up for at least a month now, heading into the holidays often brings up a lot for people, so I wanted to spend some time today talking about the difference between the holiday blues and depression, and to offer some tips on steadying yourself for the holiday season. The holiday blues might best be described as increased sadness and anxiety during the holiday season. For A variety of different reasons an article from UC Davis Health indicates that some of the reasons we see an increase in sadness and anxiety is related to a couple of factors. The first is time change. We know that we've just set our clocks back an hour, which means we have fewer hours of daylight, which can have an impact on our mood, resulting in decreased energy, loss of interest in pleasurable activities, and sleep disturbances. A second factor that may contribute to the holiday blues is increased alcohol use. So we know that many times when we gather to celebrate, alcohol is often a part of the equation. And since there tend to be a lot of gatherings for the holiday season, we may be consuming more alcohol than usual and may not really be paying attention to actually how much alcohol we are consuming. It's important to remember that alcohol acts as a depressant on the system, so if you're already feeling a little down, the increased alcohol may actually make your mood more depressed. A third factor that may contribute to the holiday blues is unrealistic expectations about ourselves. The article from UC Davis Health states, during the holidays we frequently meet other people that are quite successful and are advancing throughout their careers. This may lead us to place unrealistic expectations on ourselves concerning our own accomplishments or our perceived lack of them. None of us is perfect, and sometimes we develop unrealistic expectations over the holidays of what we should accomplish and focus on our failures. Be realistic in what you seek to achieve, both personally and professionally. Don't label the holidays as a time to cure all past problems. The holidays do not prevent sadness or loneliness. So as I mentioned earlier, there definitely is a difference between the holiday blues and a diagnosis of major depressive disorder. And it's important for us to be aware of the symptoms of depression so that we'll know whether we're actually struggling with holiday blues or something more serious. To meet criteria for a major depressive disorder, a person must experience five or more of the symptoms below for a continuous period of at least two weeks. These symptoms include feelings of sadness, hopelessness, depressed mood, loss of interest or pleasure in activities that used to be enjoyable, change in weight or appetite, either increased or decreased change in activity, psychomotor agitation, being more active than usual or psychomotor retardation, being less active than usual, insomnia or sleeping too much, feeling tired or not having any energy, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, difficulties concentrating and paying attention, and thoughts of death or suicide. These symptoms must be present every day or nearly every day and must cause significant distress or problems in our daily lives or functioning. So if you notice that you've been experiencing some of these symptoms during the holidays and they last well into the new year. Or if you've already been experiencing these symptoms, then it may be time to talk with someone about getting some help. Like I mentioned earlier, the holidays often bring up a lot for people. Some stuff is positive and some stuff not so much.
- [09:21]
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So I wanted to offer you six.
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Tips for steadying yourself for the holiday season. So the first tip is to be realistic about your budget. I think there's often a tendency to overspend, to show the people in our lives just how much we care about them.
- [09:38]
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And I think we need to question.
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Whether this is really necessary. And I often wonder if we get into overspending as a guilt reaction for not spending enough time with the people we love throughout the year. So something for you to think about. A couple of ideas about being more realistic and smart with your money. 1.
- [09:58]
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Think of gifts that you can give.
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That don't have an obvious monetary amount. So can you do things like offer to babysit or make a special playlist for the people that you love?
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More from our conversation after the break. Many of us play lots of different roles in life partner, employee, caregiver. And many of us also think about another role that could take our life where we want it to be. Degree holder. That's where National University comes in. They've been busy since 1971 creating more ways for you to work earning a degree into your hectic life. NU confers more graduate degrees to diverse populations than any other institution in the country, with more than half being earned by women. With flexible online formats, NU makes higher education possible and achievable for busy working adults. Learn more today at nu.edu. these days, most things cost an arm and a leg, especially vacations. But not in Rhode Island. Between affordable luxury stays, succulent seafood right from the source, and spectacular shopping that won't break the bank, you get a real bang for your buck in the Ocean State. The memories will be priceless, but the cost will be a lot less. Rhode island all that. Plan your trip today@Visit Rhode Island.com that's Visit Rhode Island.com if you're like me, you're busy. Especially this time of year. Way too busy to make time for a workout that doesn't deliver results. But the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread plus, powered by Peloton iq, always delivers. It's the most elevated equipment Peloton has made. You will get a serious workout every time. Peloton IQ has features like personalized plans goal setting and weight suggestions to keep pushing you forward. The new movement tracking camera counts your reps and corrects your form. It's pretty much a personal trainer by itself. On top of that, it offers class recos with instructors who match your vibe to help you take it to the next level. It's just so easy to build a well rounded routine like you can do a 45 minute run on the tread plus, then a 5 minute stretch off it with a spin of the swivel screen or yoga or pilates.
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So easy.
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Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push. Go explore the new peloton cross training tread plus@1peloton.com the biggest deals of the year are now at Macy's and it's just in time for you to complete all of your holiday shopping. You can find something for everyone on your list at prices that are incredible for the artsy creatives kids or kids at heart. Get Lego sets at 20 to 40% off for the chefs on your list, get up to $150 off select appliances from beloved brands like KitchenAid and Ninja. And anyone who needs a little softness in their life will surely appreciate a cozy cashmere sweater that you can find on sale starting at $49.99. And when you buy your gifts at Macy's, you can also round up to donate to Big Brother's Big Sisters to help create one to one mentoring relationships for youth. Macy's has raised over 13 million for Big Brothers Big Sisters to support 280,000 mentoring moments. Get ahead. Give Big and save bigger. Macy's Black Friday Shop the deals now before they're gone in store or@macy's.com no one's journey is the same. That's why Delta Sky Miles lets you.
- [13:28]
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Do it your way.
- [13:30]
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- [14:24]
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Two Plan ahead for next year by setting aside a little money each month for gifts so that there's not a panic come November and December and you're trying to scramble, figuring out what you're going to buy for everybody. The second tip is to create new traditions or re examine old ones. This may be particularly relevant if for some reason you can't be with your family this year. Can you get a group of friends together to do a friendsgiving? Can you volunteer at a shelter to feed those in need? I think sometimes we get guilted into celebrating the holidays in the same ways that we always have by family members, but it's really important to think about what feels right to you and how you would like to spend this time of the year. A third tip is to make a game plan for dealing with the loss of a loved one. So dealing with the loss during the holidays can be very difficult to manage, particularly related to all of the different rituals and traditions that are often surrounding the holidays. One really good way to deal with the loss is to reimagine what these traditions might look like. For example, if your grandmother recently passed and she was the one who would typically lead the Thanksgiving prayer on Thanksgiving morning, then elect a new person to lead the prayer, perhaps using some of her favorite passages or redo the prayer sequence altogether. Maybe instead of a prayer, you sing one of her favorite songs instead. One of the most important things is to plan ahead and not get to Thanksgiving morning and be panicked about who's going to lead the prayer. You need to have a plan in place. I also think that there can be the temptation to avoid Thanksgiving altogether or any of the holidays after a recent loss. And I don't think. I think it's important that we try not to avoid things because when we avoid them, we never learn that we can actually deal with it. So of course it will be painful to go through a holiday season after you've experienced the loss of a loved one, but it is manageable and so you shouldn't have any expectation that it's going to likely be a joyous occasion, but you likely will be able to live through it and tolerate the pain related to losing a loved one. The fourth tip should come as no surprise to you if you've been listening to the podcast for a while. The fourth one is setting and sticking.
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To your boundaries, so let me know.
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If this sounds familiar to you at all. You're in town for five days for the holidays. In those five days you have been invited to a holiday brunch sponsored by your college roommate. You've been asked to read during Christmas Eve service. Asked to take Aunt Cheryl shopping for the last minute gifts. They've asked you to make that special peach collar that everybody loves. They want you to see your new nephew that's three months old and you have to help your little cousin get her college applications together. Girl, this is exhausting. And this just describes what might be happening when you get to your hometown. This doesn't even account for all of the holiday work gatherings and community service projects you might have had to tend to before you left home. Sis, you simply cannot do everything. Especially during the holidays. It's okay to say no. If you're running around doing all of this, then what time are you spending, reflecting and getting yourself ready to head into 2018? The fifth tip build some downtime into your schedule just for yourself. Perhaps this means heading back home a few days earlier to give yourself a buffer before you have to go back to work or school. Or maybe this means you do something completely different this year for your break. This might be the perfect time to.
- [18:25]
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Take that solo vacation you've been dreaming.
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About, or to have a staycation right in your own home or your city. This kind of goes back to creating your own new traditions. Just because the holidays have always been done a certain way doesn't mean that they have to be done that same way now. And the sixth tip Allow yourself space to feel whatever you feel. Because there is often this expectation that holidays are a time of celebration and excitement. There's often a feeling of what's wrong with me if we don't feel that way for one reason or another. It's okay to be sad about a recent loss, or to be so worried about the state of our country that you just don't feel so jolly. Or if you just are not feeling it this year, all of that is okay. Give yourself permission to experience your feelings without making any judgments about them. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. So I'm curious to know what your plans are for maintaining your sanity during the holiday season. Share them with us so that we can all get some ideas. Make sure to use the hashtag on social media. Tbginsession and if there's a sister in your life who has not heard about the podcast, stop whatever you're doing right now unless you're driving, and send her a quick text message to let her know about the podcast.
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Foreign. I'm so glad we could revisit this conversation together for more resources from today's episode, head on over to therapy for black girls.com session439. And don't forget to text this episode to two of your girls right now and tell them to check it out. Do you want to share your own holiday experiences or tips? Leave us a voicemail@memo FM Therapy for Black Girls. We'd love to hear from you. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, visit our Therapist Directory at therapy for black girls.com directory. Don't forget to follow us over on Instagram at Therapy for Black Girls and come on over and join us in our patreon@community. Therapy for Black Girls.com to connect with others navigating the holidays and share your thoughts on the episode. This episode was produced by Elise Ellis, Inde Chubu and Tyree Rush. Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y' all so much for joining me again this week. I look forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care. Many of us play lots of different roles in life partner, employee, caregiver. And many of us also think about another role that could take our life where we want it to be. Degree Holder that's where National University comes in. They've been busy since 1971 creating more ways for you to work, earning a degree into your hectic life. NU confers more graduate degrees to diverse populations than any other institution in the country, with more than half being earned by women. With flexible online formats, NU makes higher education possible and achievable for busy working adults. Learn more today at nu.edu. these days, most things cost an arm and a leg, especially vacations. But not in Rhode Island. Between affordable luxury stays, succulent seafood right from the source, and spectacular shopping that won't break the bank, you get a real bang for your buck in the Ocean State. The memories will be priceless, but the cost will be a lot less. Rhode island all that. Plan your trip today at visitroadisland.com that's visitroadisland.com if you're tired of the tug, the heat and the hours it takes to blow dry your hair, I got you covered. Revair is a reverse air hair dryer that's changing the game for textured hair. It dries, stretches and smooths your hair all at once with way less heat, less damage and less time. Whether you're rocking coils, curls or kinks, Revair works with your texture, not against it. It's gentle, efficient, and gives you that salon quality finish right at home. Imagine all the things you could get done in a day if you cut your styling time in half. With the holidays approaching, treat yourself or loved ones to healthier, shinier hair in a fraction of the time. Thousands of women are already loving the results and the time they are getting back in their day. And right now Revair is offering their lowest price of the season so you can look your best at your holiday events. You can also become a member and earn points and rewards every time you shop. Visit myrevair.com today to shop their holiday sale. That's myrevaire.com your crown deserves it. This episode of Therapy for Black Girls is brought to you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. Whether you are booking your next trip or a weekend escape, Chase Sapphire Reserve is your gateway to the world's most captivating destinations. When you use your Chase Sapphire Reserve card, you get eight times points on all purchases made through Chase Travel and even access to one of a kind experiences like music festivals and sports events. And that's not even mentioning how the card gets you into the Sapphire Lounge by the club at select airports nationwide. Travel is more rewarding with Chase Sapphire Reserve. Trust me. Discover more@chase.com Sapphire Reserve cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank, NA member FDIC subject to credit approval terms apply. No one's journey is the same. That's why Delta SkyMiles moves with you. From earning miles on reloads for coffee runs, shopping and things you do every day to connecting you to new experiences, a SkyMiles membership fits into your lifestyle, letting you do more of what makes you you. It's more than travel, it's the membership that flies, dines, streams, rides and arrives with you. Because when you have a membership that's as unique as you are, there's no telling where your journey will take you next. Learn more@delta.com SkyMiles this is an iHeart podcast.
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Guaranteed human.