Therapy for Black Girls – Session 442

Title: Healing, Grief, & Community After Netflix’s ‘The Perfect Neighbor’
Date: December 17, 2025
Host: Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, Ph.D.
Guests: Pamela Dias (mother of Ajike “AJ” Owens and co-founder of Standing in the Gap Fund),
Takima Robinson (co-founder of Standing in the Gap Fund, producer, and racial justice advocate)

Episode Overview

This powerful episode centers on the aftermath and ongoing impact of the 2023 murder of Ajike “AJ” Owens, a Black mother in Florida whose case was spotlighted in Netflix’s documentary The Perfect Neighbor. Dr. Joy is joined by Pamela Dias, AJ’s mother, and Takima Robinson, both co-founders of the Standing in the Gap Fund. The conversation explores themes of grief, the importance of storytelling and advocacy, community healing, and the tangible steps being taken to support families impacted by racial violence.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Story of AJ Owens and the Making of ‘The Perfect Neighbor’

• Background of Incident
  Pamela recounts AJ’s murder:

  “My name is Pamela Dias and I'm the mother of Ajike AJ Owens who was shot and killed June 2023. She was knocking on a neighbor's door who never opened the door and shot through a locked door, killing her. … it was a long dispute that spanned over several years, was harassing my grandchildren, her children and it ended deadly...she stood behind stand your ground laws.”
  — Pamela Dias (06:16)

• Documenting the Aftermath

  • The project began as an advocacy tool, not entertainment.
  • Early efforts included gathering police and news footage via FOIA (Sunshine Law) requests to ensure evidence was preserved and shared with journalists (11:00-13:00).
  • The film revealed layers of systemic failure, escalation, and community impact previously unseen in similar cases.

  “…we saw systemic failure. We saw Susan [the shooter] actually escalating, and we just saw, unfortunately, this matter play out before its eyes through this footage.”
  — Takima Robinson (14:05)

• Pamela’s Permission and the Ethical Responsibility of Storytelling

  • Permission from Pamela was central; the documentary would not have been made without her consent (19:00).

  “It first started in respecting her grief and making sure that we were permitted to do this... we would not have gone forward if Pam said this was too much.”
  — Takima (19:02)

The Complex Journey of Grief and Healing

• Pamela’s Grieving Process

  • The film was difficult to watch but ultimately necessary for wider change.

  “I'm watching my daughter laying on the ground fighting for her life. I'm watching my grandchildren in sheer distress... I had to pray. I had to hear a word from God. … there was no way that I could do this. This was Bigger than my hurt, this was bigger than my grief. This was a real opportunity to make a difference in this world.”
  — Pamela (16:00)

• Ongoing Healing for the Family

  • Healing is ongoing, “linear,” and looks different for everyone (27:58).
  • Community stories, faith, and therapy are vital supports.
  • The film’s release has been “very therapeutic” despite its difficulty.

Community, Advocacy, and Policy Change

• Responsibility and Impact of the Film

  • Intentionally not entertainment—crafted to wake people up to the effects of gun and racial violence.
  • Viewers often respond viscerally, which underscores the film’s authenticity and purpose (19:00-23:00).
  • The team provides community guides and mental health resources to help audiences process what they’ve seen.

  “We knew that there was a responsibility in that and showing people in their most vulnerable moments, particularly the children. …we needed to wake people back up. We needed to move people from their headspace back into their heart space...”
  — Takima (20:00)

• Public Response and Surprises

  • Many assume the filmmakers are not Black; Pamela and Takima stress the significance of telling the story from the inside.
  • Some fear “trauma porn” or exploitation, but the creators were guided by integrity and permission (32:18).
  • Many in the Black community have little tolerance for new trauma after the George Floyd era, making outreach and context crucial.

• How Film Can Drive Legislation

  • The documentary’s impact campaign intends to push for Stand Your Ground law reform in states like Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Minnesota (42:00-45:00).
  • AJ’s case is particularly significant: conviction decided by an all-white jury, serving as potential future case law precedent.

The Birth and Mission of Standing in the Gap Fund

• Purpose & Activities
  • Provides support—financial, emotional, advocacy—to families affected by racial violence.
  • Offers resources for therapy, relocation, funeral expenses, and direct aid to activists on the ground.

  “Standing in the Gap is really a lifeline to families who are impacted by racial gun violence. …But also it has an advocacy piece as well...”
  — Pamela (45:27) “Our communities need mechanisms that are not extractive in order to be able to quickly have an infrastructure to support folks like this. …What does mutual aid in 2025 look like?”
  — Takima (47:43)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Permission and Respect:

  “It first started in respecting her grief and making sure that we were permitted to do this...”
  — Takima Robinson (19:02)

• On the Power of Story:

  “I always talk about Pam in the same lineage of a Mamie Till... without those images, we may not have seen some of the breakthroughs in the civil rights movement.”
  — Takima (22:00)

• On AJ’s Legacy:

  “She emphatically told me that the world was going to know her name… Unfortunately, she didn’t live to see … but this is the way that the world would know her name.”
  — Pamela (50:22)

• On Grief and Healing:

  “Our grief is definitely linear… we have good days and we have bad days… but sharing the story and the film with the world has been very therapeutic.”
  — Pamela (27:58)

• On Stand Your Ground Origin:

  “It was drafted, it is from Ocala, it was created in this place. And so AJ's case is a full circle moment...”
  — Takima (43:00)

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|---------------------| | 04:01 | Dr. Joy introduces guests and the episode’s main theme (background on AJ Owens, introduction to Pamela & Takima) | | 06:16-07:00 | Pamela describes the events leading to AJ’s death | | 10:09-15:18 | Takima outlines how they began documenting the aftermath and the evolution to a full documentary | | 16:00-18:39 | Pamela speaks about her hesitation and eventual decision to share her family's story publicly | | 19:02-23:53 | Discussion of the responsibilities and ethics of telling stories about traumatic racial violence | | 27:46-32:04 | Pamela details the family's healing process and sources of ongoing support (counseling, faith, community) | | 32:18-35:48 | Public response, audience care, and misconceptions about the filmmakers' identities | | 42:16-45:18 | Legislation, case law impact, Stand Your Ground laws, and advocacy strategy | | 45:27-50:10 | Origin and mission of Standing in the Gap Fund | | 50:22-53:56 | Pamela’s hopes for what viewers take away from the film and from AJ's legacy | | 54:08-55:53 | How to stay connected with Standing in the Gap and continue supporting the work |

Further Engagement

• Standing in the Gap Fund: standinginthegapfund.org
• The Perfect Neighbor (film site): theperfectneighborfilm.com
• Social Media: @standinginthegapfund

Summary Takeaways

• The Perfect Neighbor is a documentary born out of urgent advocacy, not for entertainment but for justice and healing—anchored in consent and the lived experience of Black women.
• The film and its accompanying advocacy have the potential to shape Stand Your Ground reform and have already contributed to new conversations at the state and national level.
• Standing in the Gap Fund is a model of community-rooted mutual aid and survivor support, meant to address the systems that fail Black families again and again.
• Both guests emphasize the importance of community, mental health resources, and using art and culture for healing and change.
• Pamela and Takima urge listeners to honor AJ's life by supporting the movement and remembering that “we must stand up for her and all those who come behind her and stand up for what is right.” (50:22)

Listen and learn more at Therapy for Black Girls, Session 442.