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[00:00]
A
Have you ever felt like a loser because you just have no willpower? If you can relate to that like I can, this episode is for you. Welcome to the Upside, where we help you get unstuck in life and business by elevating your thinking and provoking meaningful change from the inside out. I'm your host, Teresa Flood, and today we are going to talk about willpower. How does willpower relate to discipline? How does it relate to getting results? And how do we increase the willpower in our lives? I don't know about you, but there have been plenty of times I have beat myself up because I feel like I just don't have the willpower to say no to what is not serving me and to say yes to my goals. So here's the reality. Discipline does matter, but it's not always a character issue. Sometimes it's a timing issue. See, your willpower is not always on call, meaning sometimes you have a huge supply of willpower and sometimes you don't. Sometimes it's on low supply. If you have young children, you know how this is. When they get tired or they get hungry, we're probably going to have a meltdown. Honestly, as adults, we're a little bit the same way. When our energy is depleted, when we're not at our best, it is so much harder to say yes to the things we need to say yes to and no to the things that we don't. So in the book the One Thing by Jay Papazon and Gary Keller, there is a story about how there was an experiment. This was back in the 50s or 60s, I believe, and a scientist took a group of toddlers and essentially tortured them by giving them a choice. They could either have one marshmallow now, or if they waited just 15 minutes, they could have two marshmallows. And then the person conducting the study would leave the room. And so all of these kids are, like, squirming and tearing their hair out and just doing everything they can to resist that yummy marshmallow sitting in front of them. So most of the kids could not hold on. They ate the marshmallow. And just a few of the kids, though, ended up waiting and getting two. So what was really interesting, though, about this study is, is that probably wasn't all of that surprising, right, that the majority of kids chose for the immediate gratification. But what he actually did is he started studying these toddlers years later. How did they turn out as. As teenagers and young adults? And what he found was the group that had the willpower, the ability to wait the AB have delayed gratification, actually was scoring higher on SATs, was doing better in school. And then the ones that had a harder time with their willpower were lower grades, more likely to have addiction issues and all of the like. Fascinating, right? So here's the thing. Willpower, though, is like the charge on your phone. If your phone is anything like mine, it's pretty much constantly on low battery. I don't understand how that constantly happens. But here's the thing. It depletes, but it is renewable. And willpower is very much the same way. So they did another study. They had two groups of people. One of them had to memorize a two digit number and the other group had to memorize a seven digit number. Well, for some of you, like Tommy, he's great with numbers, probably neither of those would be very hard for me. All the numbers run together. Memorizing a seven digit number is going to have to require a lot of brain cells for me. And what they did is afterward, they offered them either cake or fruit. The group that measure that had to memorize the two digit number overwhelmingly chose the healthier snack when they were done. The group that had to memorize the larger number, the seven digit number, all or I don't know if they all did, but a good majority of them chose the cake. Why is this? Because they had to use their mental brain capacity. Their willpower afterwards was lower and so they were more likely to make the unhealthy choice. So if you don't eat, for instance, during the day, you're not going to just all of a sudden stop breathing, but your brain capacity in other ways does deplete and get limited. So they did another study and this is shared in the book. The one thing as well, a group of Israeli parole board, parole board people, committee members, if you will, they did a study on them and it was 11, 12 hearings that they, they observed. There were eight guys and this was over a 10 month period. So they were doing 14 to 1335 hearings a day, which is just insane to me, right, that you're essentially just, you know, putting people in front of this parole board over and over and over. So what they found is that if the parolee came and presented in front of the board in the morning or immediately after break, 65% of these people were paroled. If you got like the 5 o' clock slot, if you were at the end of the day, it went to. Virtually nobody got parole. Why is that? It's because when you're tired, you go to the default setting wasn't necessarily that they felt that more of them were deserving of that, but because it took more brain power, more heavy decision making, more willpower, they went to whatever the default setting was, which in this case was probably to not make a mistake by early parole. So here's my challenge to you. If you are beating yourself up because you feel like I just can't say yes to the right things and no to the wrong things, I feel like my willpower is just constantly in depletion mode. I want to encourage you. It may not be a character issue, it may be a timing issue. And are you strategically going about your day so that you have will power on call when you need it? So I wanna give you just a few things that you can do to kind of audit your energy throughout the day is number one is to monitor your fuel gauge. So essentially look at what times of the day are you the most energized? What time of the day are you the most focused? What time of the day are you most alert? And when does that energy start to slip? For me, my energy is typically highest in the morning. I start to get a little bit hangry right before lunch. I'm a three meals a day kind of girl, so I need to e eat to get refueled. And then sometimes I'll feel that afternoon slump again kind of around 2:30 or 3:00'. Clock. And so I know this. And so as I'm planning my calendar, putting the things that require the most amount of energy in the morning, if I have to have creativity, if I have to really be on my game, a morning meeting is going to be much better for me. Whereas, you know, my staff at the office is like, she gets, she gets crazy as the day goes on, right? I just get kind of loopy and goofy and all of that after 3 o'. Clock. But that's really because my energy is depleting and so my willpower is down. It's a lot harder for me to focus. So look at what drains you and what energizes you. A meeting where I'm in front of a group of people teaching a class, leading a meeting. For me personally, that's very energizing. For you, that could be completely draining. I have found if I do a lot of back to back, one on one meetings, I can do about three of those. Before the fourth one, I'm feeling low energy, which is not what that next person deserves. And so I've realized I've got to stack my calendar in a Way to where I'm not just managing, quote unquote, my time, I'm managing my energy. So look at, look at what drains you, look at what energizes you. When you have the most amount of focus and energy, make sure you're taking a snack or break. Sometimes it's good just to get up from your desk, take a lap around the office, step outside, take a breath of fresh air, and what you'll find is you're able to come back more focused and more concentrating on the things that matter. So time your tasks. Use your willpower when you have it. If you know you're going to walk in the door at the end of the day completely exhausted and you're going to open the refrigerator door and you're staring at all the groceries wishing they would just make themselves for me, that's a great time to, to know that I need to be doing crock pot meals so that when I go home, when I'm tired at the end of the day, I'm not making a choice to eat fast food, to go out to dinner, that kind of thing, because that choice was already made. So I say set yourself up for success and it's going to make things so much easier. So you are not a loser. You do not have terrible willpower. You're not just an undisciplined person. You can get really strategic, though, about how you manage your energy and your willpower. And as always, when you're investing in your growth every single day, it will yield you great returns. Keep living on the upside. We'll see you next week.

Summary4 min read

TheUPside Podcast

Episode: Stop Blaming Your Willpower. Start Managing Your Energy

Host: Theresa Flood
Release Date: August 4, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, host Theresa Flood challenges the common belief that a lack of willpower is a character flaw and instead reframes it as an issue of energy management and timing. By drawing on real-world examples and research studies, she empowers listeners to shift their focus from blaming their willpower to strategically managing their physical and mental energy throughout the day to achieve better results in life and business.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Debunking Willpower as a Character Flaw

Theresa opens by sharing her personal experience:

“Have you ever felt like a loser because you just have no willpower? If you can relate to that like I can, this episode is for you.” [00:00]
She emphasizes that what often feels like a lack of discipline is rarely about who you are—it's more about when you are.
Willpower is described as a resource that fluctuates rather than a constant trait.

2. The Science of Willpower—It’s About Energy

Willpower functions much like a phone battery: it depletes with use but can be recharged.
Example: When children (and adults!) are tired or hungry, willpower plummets and making good decisions becomes far more difficult.

“When our energy is depleted, when we're not at our best, it is so much harder to say yes to the things we need to say yes to and no to the things that we don't.” [01:30]

3. The Marshmallow Test

Recounts the renowned psychological study (Marshmallow Experiment) conducted on children, who were presented with the choice between one immediate marshmallow or two if they waited 15 minutes.
Long-term outcomes for those able to delay gratification included better SAT scores and lower incidence of addiction.
Insight: Delayed gratification is linked with later life success, but energy (not simply “strength of character”) plays a major role.

4. Willpower Drains and Decision Fatigue

Describes a study with participants memorizing either two- or seven-digit numbers. Those allotted the harder task later chose cake over fruit, illustrating willpower depletion through decision fatigue.

“Because they had to use their mental brain capacity. Their willpower afterwards was lower and so they were more likely to make the unhealthy choice.” [05:30]
Compares mental depletion to a fuel gauge running low.

5. Parole Board Study & Default Decisions

Tells the story of Israeli parole board hearings (from the book The One Thing), where approvals were significantly higher in the morning or right after breaks than late in the day.
After many decisions, the board defaulted to “no parole”—proof of how decision fatigue shapes outcomes due to low willpower reserves.

“If the parolee came and presented in front of the board in the morning or immediately after break, 65% of these people were paroled... If you got like the 5 o'clock slot... virtually nobody got parole.” [09:15]

6. Strategic Energy Management – Practical Steps

Theresa offers actionable strategies for listeners to manage their energy for optimal willpower:

Audit Your Energy:
Assess and note when your energy, focus, and alertness peak and when they dip throughout the day.
Stack Your Calendar Strategically:

“Putting the things that require the most amount of energy in the morning... If I have to have creativity, if I have to really be on my game, a morning meeting is going to be much better for me.” [13:00]
Identify Drainers and Energizers:
Recognize which activities sap energy and which ones restore it—adjust your schedule accordingly.
Take Breaks and Refuel:
Snack, hydrate, get up, and move to recharge between tasks.
Pre-Make Decisions:
Set yourself up for success by preparing healthy meals or making important choices ahead of time, reducing strain on depleted willpower.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Willpower as a Battery:

"Willpower is not always on call, meaning sometimes you have a huge supply of willpower and sometimes you don’t." [02:10]
On Decision Fatigue:

"They went to whatever the default setting was, which in this case was probably to not make a mistake by early parole." [09:50]
Encouragement:

“You are not a loser. You do not have terrible willpower. You're not just an undisciplined person. You can get really strategic, though, about how you manage your energy and your willpower.” [19:45]

Timestamps of Key Segments

00:00–02:10: Introduction, framing willpower as a resource.
02:11–06:15: Marshmallow test and the role of energy in decision-making.
06:16–09:50: Studies on decision fatigue and the cake vs. fruit experiment.
09:51–12:59: Parole board study and implications for high-stakes decision-making.
13:00–15:25: Theresa’s personal strategy for managing energy and scheduling.
15:26–19:45: Practical tips on auditing energy, timing tasks, and pre-making decisions.
19:46–End: Final encouragement and wrap-up.

Conclusion

Theresa Flood’s central message is that blaming yourself for a lack of willpower misses the mark; instead, focus on managing your energy and setting up your environment to make decisions easier when willpower is high. Use strategic scheduling, recognize your personal rhythms, and plan ahead for moments of low energy to maximize your personal and professional effectiveness.

“When you invest in your growth every day, it will yield great returns.” – Theresa Flood [End]

#TheUPside #GetUnstuck #GrowthMindset #LeadershipDevelopment

Loading summary

Transcript1 lines

[00:00]
A
Have you ever felt like a loser because you just have no willpower? If you can relate to that like I can, this episode is for you. Welcome to the Upside, where we help you get unstuck in life and business by elevating your thinking and provoking meaningful change from the inside out. I'm your host, Teresa Flood, and today we are going to talk about willpower. How does willpower relate to discipline? How does it relate to getting results? And how do we increase the willpower in our lives? I don't know about you, but there have been plenty of times I have beat myself up because I feel like I just don't have the willpower to say no to what is not serving me and to say yes to my goals. So here's the reality. Discipline does matter, but it's not always a character issue. Sometimes it's a timing issue. See, your willpower is not always on call, meaning sometimes you have a huge supply of willpower and sometimes you don't. Sometimes it's on low supply. If you have young children, you know how this is. When they get tired or they get hungry, we're probably going to have a meltdown. Honestly, as adults, we're a little bit the same way. When our energy is depleted, when we're not at our best, it is so much harder to say yes to the things we need to say yes to and no to the things that we don't. So in the book the One Thing by Jay Papazon and Gary Keller, there is a story about how there was an experiment. This was back in the 50s or 60s, I believe, and a scientist took a group of toddlers and essentially tortured them by giving them a choice. They could either have one marshmallow now, or if they waited just 15 minutes, they could have two marshmallows. And then the person conducting the study would leave the room. And so all of these kids are, like, squirming and tearing their hair out and just doing everything they can to resist that yummy marshmallow sitting in front of them. So most of the kids could not hold on. They ate the marshmallow. And just a few of the kids, though, ended up waiting and getting two. So what was really interesting, though, about this study is, is that probably wasn't all of that surprising, right, that the majority of kids chose for the immediate gratification. But what he actually did is he started studying these toddlers years later. How did they turn out as. As teenagers and young adults? And what he found was the group that had the willpower, the ability to wait the AB have delayed gratification, actually was scoring higher on SATs, was doing better in school. And then the ones that had a harder time with their willpower were lower grades, more likely to have addiction issues and all of the like. Fascinating, right? So here's the thing. Willpower, though, is like the charge on your phone. If your phone is anything like mine, it's pretty much constantly on low battery. I don't understand how that constantly happens. But here's the thing. It depletes, but it is renewable. And willpower is very much the same way. So they did another study. They had two groups of people. One of them had to memorize a two digit number and the other group had to memorize a seven digit number. Well, for some of you, like Tommy, he's great with numbers, probably neither of those would be very hard for me. All the numbers run together. Memorizing a seven digit number is going to have to require a lot of brain cells for me. And what they did is afterward, they offered them either cake or fruit. The group that measure that had to memorize the two digit number overwhelmingly chose the healthier snack when they were done. The group that had to memorize the larger number, the seven digit number, all or I don't know if they all did, but a good majority of them chose the cake. Why is this? Because they had to use their mental brain capacity. Their willpower afterwards was lower and so they were more likely to make the unhealthy choice. So if you don't eat, for instance, during the day, you're not going to just all of a sudden stop breathing, but your brain capacity in other ways does deplete and get limited. So they did another study and this is shared in the book. The one thing as well, a group of Israeli parole board, parole board people, committee members, if you will, they did a study on them and it was 11, 12 hearings that they, they observed. There were eight guys and this was over a 10 month period. So they were doing 14 to 1335 hearings a day, which is just insane to me, right, that you're essentially just, you know, putting people in front of this parole board over and over and over. So what they found is that if the parolee came and presented in front of the board in the morning or immediately after break, 65% of these people were paroled. If you got like the 5 o' clock slot, if you were at the end of the day, it went to. Virtually nobody got parole. Why is that? It's because when you're tired, you go to the default setting wasn't necessarily that they felt that more of them were deserving of that, but because it took more brain power, more heavy decision making, more willpower, they went to whatever the default setting was, which in this case was probably to not make a mistake by early parole. So here's my challenge to you. If you are beating yourself up because you feel like I just can't say yes to the right things and no to the wrong things, I feel like my willpower is just constantly in depletion mode. I want to encourage you. It may not be a character issue, it may be a timing issue. And are you strategically going about your day so that you have will power on call when you need it? So I wanna give you just a few things that you can do to kind of audit your energy throughout the day is number one is to monitor your fuel gauge. So essentially look at what times of the day are you the most energized? What time of the day are you the most focused? What time of the day are you most alert? And when does that energy start to slip? For me, my energy is typically highest in the morning. I start to get a little bit hangry right before lunch. I'm a three meals a day kind of girl, so I need to e eat to get refueled. And then sometimes I'll feel that afternoon slump again kind of around 2:30 or 3:00'. Clock. And so I know this. And so as I'm planning my calendar, putting the things that require the most amount of energy in the morning, if I have to have creativity, if I have to really be on my game, a morning meeting is going to be much better for me. Whereas, you know, my staff at the office is like, she gets, she gets crazy as the day goes on, right? I just get kind of loopy and goofy and all of that after 3 o'. Clock. But that's really because my energy is depleting and so my willpower is down. It's a lot harder for me to focus. So look at what drains you and what energizes you. A meeting where I'm in front of a group of people teaching a class, leading a meeting. For me personally, that's very energizing. For you, that could be completely draining. I have found if I do a lot of back to back, one on one meetings, I can do about three of those. Before the fourth one, I'm feeling low energy, which is not what that next person deserves. And so I've realized I've got to stack my calendar in a Way to where I'm not just managing, quote unquote, my time, I'm managing my energy. So look at, look at what drains you, look at what energizes you. When you have the most amount of focus and energy, make sure you're taking a snack or break. Sometimes it's good just to get up from your desk, take a lap around the office, step outside, take a breath of fresh air, and what you'll find is you're able to come back more focused and more concentrating on the things that matter. So time your tasks. Use your willpower when you have it. If you know you're going to walk in the door at the end of the day completely exhausted and you're going to open the refrigerator door and you're staring at all the groceries wishing they would just make themselves for me, that's a great time to, to know that I need to be doing crock pot meals so that when I go home, when I'm tired at the end of the day, I'm not making a choice to eat fast food, to go out to dinner, that kind of thing, because that choice was already made. So I say set yourself up for success and it's going to make things so much easier. So you are not a loser. You do not have terrible willpower. You're not just an undisciplined person. You can get really strategic, though, about how you manage your energy and your willpower. And as always, when you're investing in your growth every single day, it will yield you great returns. Keep living on the upside. We'll see you next week.