TheUPside Podcast — Episode Summary
Episode: The Selfish Side of Fear: Why Shifting to Service Breaks Its Grip
Host: Theresa Flood
Date: September 9, 2025
Episode Overview
In this episode, Theresa Flood explores how fear often keeps us focused inward—sometimes to the point of selfishness—and how shifting our perspective toward serving others can break fear’s hold. Through personal stories, real-world examples (especially from her work coaching real estate agents), and memorable analogies, Theresa offers practical mindset shifts and encouragement to help listeners overcome self-limiting fears and step into courageous, purpose-driven action.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Fear’s Selfish Roots
- Theresa challenges listeners to reflect on a persistent fear in their own lives, whether it relates to business, public speaking, relationships, or stepping out of comfort zones.
- She asserts, “Most likely that fear is rooted in selfishness. … The majority of the fears that I have encountered…they are rooted in ego.” (02:30)
- Fear “puts me in the center of the story” and “will always keep us small. It will keep us self-protective and it stops us from stepping out in faith, from serving boldly and … from doing the right thing.” (03:10)
2. The Withholding Effect of Fear
- When motivated by fear, “We withhold our gifts, we withhold our words, we withhold our leadership. Sometimes we withhold love from people and we withhold it from the very people that need them.” (04:15)
- Theresa clarifies that not all fear is selfish—there is healthy fear based in discernment—but the episode focuses on the fear that keeps us disengaged or stuck.
3. The Antidote: Service
- The core message: “The antidote to that fear … is service. The antidote to stepping out is service. When we shift our focus to others, fear loses its grip.” (06:05)
- Example from sales: Many avoid sales conversations due to fear of being “salesy” or “a pest”—“We’re afraid of what somebody might think of us. … When we focus then on how we can help, fear loses its grip.” (07:30)
4. Reframing Nerves: “Bless, Not Impress”
- Theresa shares her own experience as a speaker, “I always tell myself, I’m here to bless, not to impress.” (09:05)
- She notes that nerves come from self-focus (“I hope they like me…I hope they’re wowed by all my brilliance.”) but dissipate when she centers on helping others: “When I start thinking about how I’m gonna bless a human being that’s sitting in that room, so many of those nerves dissipate and go away.” (10:00)
5. Showing Up for Others
- Facing fear of community or relationships after past hurt? “Focus instead on what you have to give.”
- “Being a part of community is not about what we get … It’s what we’re able to by being a part of that community. … The fear will lose its grip.” (11:15)
6. Going Through Hard Times as a Way to Serve
- Theresa shares that, “When I’ve gone through hard times…one of the things that has always powered me through…is knowing when I get through this, I can help somebody else get through this too.” (12:30)
- Overcoming struggles isn't just for personal growth, but to become a source of hope and encouragement for others.
7. The High-Stakes Analogy
- Wooden board metaphor: Walking across a board on the ground is easy. Place it between two 20-story buildings—suddenly, fear prevails, regardless of a $1,000 incentive.
- But “What if your child, who you love, is across the way and that building is on fire, and the only way to get across that building is to go across that wooden board? Would you go across the board then?...Because it’s not just about me and what I can get from it, I’m going to push past my fear because it’s about something bigger than myself.” (14:00)
- “When your why is powerful enough, your how will show up.” (15:30)
8. Real Courage in Action
- “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” — quoting Nelson Mandela (16:00)
- “Real courage is doing it scared because it matters to somebody else.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “Most likely that fear is rooted in selfishness.” — Theresa Flood (02:30)
- “Fear will always keep us small. It will keep us self-protective.” (03:10)
- “We withhold our gifts … our words … our leadership. Sometimes we withhold love from people and we withhold it from the very people that need them.” (04:15)
- “When we shift our focus to others, fear loses its grip.” (06:05)
- “I always tell myself, I’m here to bless, not to impress.” (09:05)
- “Being a part of community is not about what we get…It’s about what we’re able to give.” (11:15)
- “When your why is powerful enough, your how will show up.” (15:30)
- “Real courage is doing it scared because it matters to somebody else.” (16:00)
- “It’s not about being fearless. It’s about being faithful to the gifts that are within you. It’s about choosing service over self.” (16:50)
Action Steps & Weekly Challenge
- Theresa’s challenge for listeners: “Dig deep and … ask yourself what fear has kept you focused on yourself and who in your life needs you to show up today with courage?” (17:25)
- Emphasizing ongoing personal growth: “When you invest in your personal growth every single day, it’s going to yield you great returns, including fear losing its grip on your life.”
Key Timestamps
- 00:00–02:00 – Introduction & context of the episode
- 02:30–04:30 – Fear rooted in selfishness and its effects
- 06:00–07:45 – The antidote: shifting from fear to service
- 09:05–10:00 – "Bless, not impress": reframing public speaking nerves
- 11:00–12:15 – Community, relationships, and giving vs. getting
- 12:30–13:45 – Overcoming hard times for the purpose of serving others
- 14:00–15:30 – The wooden board analogy: pushing past fear for a greater purpose
- 16:00–17:00 – Defining courage and the episode’s main call-to-action
This episode delivers a powerful mindset shift: Fear shrinks when we serve. By turning our attention outward and anchoring our actions in helping others, we can move beyond self-imposed limitations and make a positive impact—in business, community, and personal growth.