← TheUPside Podcast
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Welcome to the Upside Podcast where we help you get unstuck in your life and your business by elevating your thinking and provoking meaningful change from the inside out. I'm Teresa Flood and if you haven't gone to my website teresafled.com I just want to encourage you to go there and to register. Every week on Thursday, after the episode drops on Tuesday, I send out a teaching guide for you. And this is just an a reflection on this week's current episode that you can take turn around, teach to your teams, to people that you lead. I have one woman who's amazing shout out who uses it for all of her real estate coaching clients every single week. So however you want to use that, it is a resource that is available to download for you to take and just have a tool to go out there and to teach and to lead people. So today. So John Maxwell, who is, I'm sure probably your one of your favorite leadership thought leaders, to me he is the best in the world. One of the things that he says when he's about to step on your toes and say something that might hurt a little bit, he says, I'm John Maxwell and I am your friend. Okay, so I'm going to borrow the line and I'm Teresa Flood and I am your friend. And here's what I want to tell you that might step on your toes. First of all, I want you to think right now about a fear that you have, something that is causing you to feel fear. It could be a phone call you don't want to make in your business. It could be stepping out and doing something out of your comfort zone when it comes to video or comes to public speaking. It could be something about stepping into a relationship and having fear of getting hurt. It could be anything. I want you to think about what that fear is and then I want to challenge you because most likely that fear is rooted in selfishness. As I look at the majority of things in my life, and I even look back throughout the years, the majority of the fears that I have encountered that I've dealt with, that I have had, that I have owned, that have sometimes I have taken on as a core part of my identity even, they are rooted in ego and in fear. They are selfish at their core because every one of those fear centered thoughts that I've had have put me in the center of the story. Fear will always keep us small. It will keep us self protective and it stops us from stepping out in faith, from serving boldly and often from doing the right thing. So when fear is leading us, when we become motivated to do or to not do something because of fear, we withhold our gifts, we withhold our words, we withhold our leadership. Sometimes we withhold love from people and we withhold it from the very people that need them. We'll go quiet when we should be speaking up. We'll stay still when we're meant to move. We'll pull back when we're meant to show up. So is fear always selfish? I'm not saying all fear is always selfish. There is a healthy fear, such as, you know, a reverent fear or wisdom discernment. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about fear. Fear that's going to cause you to disengage, fear that's going to cause you to shrink back or to disqualify yourself. It all becomes a part of a selfish comfort zone. So I want to give you today the antidote to that fear. Because just like you, I have fears in my life that are rooted in selfishness. And here's the antidote. It's service. The antidote to stepping out is service. When we shift our focus to others, fear loses its grip. So if you are in a sales type role, all of my, all my connections in real estate as I coach and lead realtors every single day, there is such a huge majority, even if some very successful top producing agents that get in their head about asking for the business, I don't want to be salesy, I'm afraid to ask. I don't want to be nosy, I don't want to be pest. And at the end of the day, we're afraid of what somebody might think of us. And when we know that we are the very best in the industry, that when somebody chooses us, they can trust us because we're authentic, because we're empathetic and because we're logical. And when they choose to work with us, we are actually doing them a great service because they're going to be working with somebody who has their best interests at heart. When we focus then on how we can help, fear loses its grip. But when we focus on how it's going to make us feel, fear is going to hang on tight. Maybe you're nervous to speak or to teach in front of a room of people. One of the things, when I speak in front of a room or an audience and I start to feel those nerves kick in, I always tell myself I'm here to bless, not to impress. I'm here to bless not to impress. I. All of those nerves, when I start feeling the jitters and I start getting into my head around, is this gonna go well? Gosh, I hope they like me. I hope they think I'm really good. I hope they think I'm impactful. I hope they're wowed by all my brilliance. All of that is selfish. When I walk out there and say, I'm here to give a gift to somebody who needs encouragement, I'm here to teach somebody a framework that's gonna help them get unstuck and break free. I'm here to help somebody take a strategy and move their business forward. When I start thinking about how I'm gonna bless a human being that's sitting in that room, so many of those nerves dissipate and go away. Maybe you're hesitant about getting on camera. You think, oh, I could never. I could never get in front of camera and talk like this. Guess what? I didn't think I could either. When you just do it and realize that you have something to say and something to share, it doesn't have to be impactful to every single human on the earth. And if it's impactful to one person, will you get over yourself and get on Instagram and share your story? Share the value that you have to bring to the world? Maybe you're avoiding community or certain relationships because of past hurt. Focus instead on what you have to give. I tell my agents at Dallas Preston Road this all the time. You don't just show up for you, you show up for everybody else in the room. Being a part of community is not about what we get from being in that community. It's what we're able to by being a part of that community. And when we do that, we in turn receive so much more than we give. But the focus should always be, I'm here to show up, to be able to give to somebody else. And the fear will lose its grip. Maybe you're dreading doing something hard or you're going through a very hard season of your life. I will tell you that when I've gone through hard times, one of the things that has always powered me through those hard times is knowing when I get through this, I can help somebody else get through this too. When I conquer this, when I do this hard thing, I'm not doing it just for me. I'm doing it to show my kids that it can be done. I'm doing this to be an encouragement to somebody else who's gonna need encouragement off along the way. When we get our eyes off of just how it's affecting me and what's in it for me and how it's so hard for me and start thinking about, you know what, I'm gonna go out there and make an impact in the world because of the hard things that I have gone through. Man, fear is going to lose its grip. You think about the most courageous people that do heroic things. They don't do them just for themselves. They get into action because they are in service of other people. The military, firefighters, police officers that lay their life on the line. It's not for a paycheck, I can assure you. It's because there's something there that has wanted to give back. And. And to do that, you know, one of the. The. I'm going to give you kind of an analogy, and if you could just picture this with me. Imagine if we were in a room together and I put a wooden board across the floor, and I asked you to walk across that wooden board and you said, sure, Teresa, I'll walk across the wooden board. Why not, right? No big deal. I actually did this presentation for somebody, for a group of agents one time. And the guy that I picked from the crowd to do this role play with me, he said, no, no, I won't do that. And he had major trust issues. And I said, okay, like, literally nothing's going to happen to you if I just asked you to do what you. He was like, no. I said, what if your mom asked you to do it? He looked at me, goes, no. I said, okay, can you sit down? Give me somebody else who's going to play with me anyway. All right, so you're going to walk across this wooden board. No big deal. All right, let's say that I take you to the top of a 20 story building and we're up there and it's kind of windy. Like, you know, it's not really looking very good outside. And we're going to take that same wooden board and we're going to attach it to another 20 story building right across the way. And I'm feeling very generous, ladies and gentlemen, so I'm going to throw you $1,000 up on that other building if you will walk across that wooden board to go across it. And if you are in your right mind, you are going to say no. Even if you trust me, you're going to say, teresa, you've lost your mind. There is no chance I'm risking my life to go across this wooden board for absolutely no reason. And some of you are just Crazy risk takers, whatever. But for the majority of us, we're not going to do that. And what if I said, your child, who you love, is across the way and that building is on fire, and the only way to get across that building is to go across that wooden board? Would you go across the board then? Most of us in this room, whether you're scared of heights, whether you're paralyzed with fear, you're going to say, you know what, if my baby's across there, I'm going to figure it out. I. I'm going to get on that board. I might be shaky, I might be scared to death, but because it's my baby over there, and it's not just about me and what I can get from it, I'm going to push past my fear because it's about something bigger than myself. When your why is powerful enough, your how will show up. So where fear has its grip on you, get to a place where you realize it is about so much more than you. And when you can make it about the impact that other people are going to have, because you push past that fear, you're going to see fear lose its grip. So Nelson Mandela said, courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. It's not that your knees aren't shaking, that you're not sweating a little bit, that you don't feel the butterflies. It's that you're willing to step forward and do it anyway. Why? Because there's something bigger than you on the other side. Real courage is doing it scares scared because it matters to somebody else. So I want to encourage all of us today, myself included, to get our eyes off of ourselves. It's not about being fearless. It's about being faithful to the gifts that are within you. It's about choosing service over self. So here's my challenge for you this week, is I want you to dig deep and I want you to ask yourself what fear has kept you focused on yourself and who in your life needs you to show up today with courage? I believe in you. You can do this. Thank you for tuning into the upside. When you invest in your personal growth every single day, it's going to yield you great returns, including fear losing its grip on your life. Keep living on the upside and we'll see you next week.