Podcast Summary: Think Fast Talk Smart - Episode 180: Unlocking Your Future Self: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing

Hosts and Guests

• Host: Matt Abrahams, Best-selling author and Strategic Communication Lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business
• Guest: Hal Hirschfeld, Professor of Marketing, Behavioral Decision Making, and Psychology at UCLA's Anderson School of Management; Author of Your Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today

Introduction to Future Selves

In Episode 180 of Think Fast Talk Smart, Matt Abrahams engages in an insightful conversation with Hal Hirschfeld about the concept of "future selves" and its profound impact on communication, happiness, and wellbeing. The discussion delves into how envisioning and connecting with our future selves can drive present-day behaviors and decisions, ultimately shaping a more fulfilling and effective life.

Hal Hirschfeld introduces the foundational idea of future selves:

“Vividness is the type of thing that really provokes emotions and emotions are the things that drive behavior. And so if we can just turn the dial up on a vivid perception of your future self, that can really help connect, you know, who you are now with who you will eventually become.” (00:01)

Procrastination and Self-Handicapping

A significant portion of the discussion centers around procrastination and its detrimental effects on both present and future wellbeing. Hal explains procrastination as not merely delaying tasks but as a form of self-handicapping that ultimately results in increased pain and difficulty for both the present and future selves.

Hal Hirschfeld elaborates:

“If I don't wanna do the thing now, there's no way that future me is gonna wanna do it. And in some ways you compound the pain by putting things off.” (04:55)

This perspective underscores the interconnectedness of our actions (or inactions) today with the wellbeing of our future selves, highlighting the importance of overcoming procrastination to foster long-term benefits.

Strategies to Connect with Future Selves

To bridge the gap between the present and future selves, Hal introduces practical techniques such as writing letters to and from one's future self. This exercise serves to create a tangible connection, making the abstract concept of the future self more concrete and emotionally resonant.

Hal Hirschfeld shares:

“What do I want that future self's life to look like? And then in the letter back, really talk about, okay, how are you spending your day?” (08:56)

Matt adds his endorsement of this method, emphasizing its role in fostering self-compassion and accountability:

“I use this technique and recommend it to people when they have to watch recordings of themselves... And then give feedback.” (06:26)

By viewing the future self as a separate individual, individuals can offer themselves the same kindness and understanding they would extend to others, thereby enhancing motivation and reducing self-criticism.

Goal Setting and Motivation

Hal discusses the inherent tension in goal-setting between immediate efforts and long-term rewards. He suggests strategies to mitigate this by making present-day sacrifices less burdensome and more aligned with future benefits.

Hal Hirschfeld recommends:

“Make the sacrifice of me now feel easier. Anything I can do to make the pill easier to swallow.” (12:43)

He also introduces concepts like temptation bundling and commitment devices:

“Can I pair the sort of painful thing with the pleasurable thing?” and “They’re putting guardrails on your future behavior so you don’t screw something up.” (13:50)

These methods aim to create positive associations with tasks that are typically perceived as challenging, thereby enhancing adherence to desired behaviors.

Communication Principles: Perspective, Clarity, and Simplicity

Transitioning from personal development, the conversation delves into effective communication strategies, emphasizing three key ingredients for successful communication: perspective taking, clarity, and simplicity.

Hal Hirschfeld outlines:

1. Perspective Taking: Understanding the audience's viewpoint to tailor messages effectively.
2. Clarity: Ensuring that the message is straightforward and easily comprehensible.
3. Simplicity: Avoiding unnecessary complexity to maintain engagement and understanding.

He provides an example of effective communication through Wendy de la Rosa's work, illustrating how simple and clear questions in government benefit applications increased user completion rates by aligning the questions with the applicants' real-life contexts.

“More complicated language actually makes you sound less intelligent. People... think that if I make something sound lofty and big... I'm going to impress my audience. And the irony is that the exact opposite happens.” (18:50)

This reinforces the importance of clear and concise communication in achieving desired outcomes, whether in personal interactions or broader societal applications.

Personal Insights and Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, both Matt and Hal share personal experiences that illustrate the discussed concepts. Hal recounts Anne Napolitano’s experience with writing letters to her future self, highlighting how unmet goals can lead to greater happiness when they shift focus from external achievements to internal satisfaction.

Hal Hirschfeld mentions:

“She realized just how rare it was to have things work out the way that she wanted them to. [...] But she was so much happier.” (11:02)

Matt shares his own strategies for overcoming procrastination by making public commitments and pairing tasks with positive rewards:

“I tell my family in 30 minutes I will complete this much. And if I don't, you know, keep me focused.” (15:02)

These anecdotes serve to humanize the theoretical discussions, providing relatable examples of how these strategies can be implemented in everyday life.

Conclusion

The episode concludes with a reflective exchange on the importance of self-awareness and data-driven reflection in personal growth. Hal discusses the use of biometric rings to track behaviors and inform future decisions, emphasizing the value of tangible data in understanding and improving oneself.

Hal Hirschfeld states:

“The reason I love that is because part of the value of tracking your behavior is that you see how the different points in time connect to each other.” (16:31)

Matt emphasizes the ongoing journey of self-improvement through effective communication with one’s future self, encouraging listeners to adopt these strategies for enhanced wellbeing and success.

Final Takeaway: Engaging in deliberate communication with one’s future self, employing strategies to overcome procrastination, and adhering to clear and simple communication principles are essential for achieving personal and professional growth. By fostering a vivid and emotionally connected vision of the future, individuals can bridge the gap between their present actions and long-term aspirations, leading to a more intentional and fulfilling life.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Hal Hirschfeld [00:01]:

  “Vividness is the type of thing that really provokes emotions and emotions are the things that drive behavior. And so if we can just turn the dial up on a vivid perception of your future self, that can really help connect, you know, who you are now with who you will eventually become.”

• Hal Hirschfeld [04:55]:

  “If I don't wanna do the thing now, there's no way that future me is gonna wanna do it. And in some ways you compound the pain by putting things off.”

• Hal Hirschfeld [08:56]:

  “What do I want that future self's life to look like? And then in the letter back, really talk about, okay, how are you spending your day?”

• Hal Hirschfeld [12:43]:

  “Make the sacrifice of me now feel easier. Anything I can do to make the pill easier to swallow.”

• Hal Hirschfeld [18:50]:

  “More complicated language actually makes you sound less intelligent. People... think that if I make something sound lofty and big... I'm going to impress my audience. And the irony is that the exact opposite happens.”

Key Takeaways:

1. Visualizing Future Selves: Creating a vivid and emotionally connected image of your future self can drive current behaviors and decisions.
2. Overcoming Procrastination: Recognize procrastination as self-handicapping and employ strategies like public commitments and positive reinforcement to mitigate it.
3. Effective Communication: Emphasize perspective taking, clarity, and simplicity to enhance the impact and reception of your messages.
4. Practical Exercises: Engage in writing letters to and from your future self to foster self-awareness and align current actions with long-term goals.
5. Data-Driven Reflection: Utilize tools like biometric tracking to gain insights into your behaviors and inform better decision-making for future wellbeing.

By integrating these principles and techniques, listeners can enhance their communication skills, achieve personal growth, and build stronger professional relationships, ultimately unlocking their full potential.