Podcast Summary: Think Fast Talk Smart - Episode 210

Title: First Impression to Lasting Impact: Use Status Strategically
Host: Matt Abrahams
Guest: Allison Fregale, University of North Carolina’s Business School
Release Date: June 17, 2025

In Episode 210 of Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques, host Matt Abrahams delves deep into the strategic use of status in communication with guest Allison Fregale, a renowned academic specializing in power, status, and influence within organizations. This episode offers invaluable insights into how individuals can harness the interplay between power and status to create lasting impressions and foster meaningful professional relationships.

Defining Power and Status

Allison Fregale begins by elucidating the fundamental differences and similarities between power and status:

• Power: Defined as the control over resources that are valuable to oneself and others. Examples include financial resources, decision-making authority, or even simple aspects like holding the car keys that a teenager desires. Fregale explains, “Power and status have some things in common. One is they're both sources of influence” ([02:42]).

• Status: Described as the level of respect and admiration one receives from others. Unlike power, status is a perceptual attribute—it cannot be taken but must be granted by others. “Status is how much you're respected and highly regarded by other people,” Fregale clarifies ([02:42]).

Both power and status are intrinsic sources of influence and fulfill fundamental human needs for control and respect. However, Fregale emphasizes that while power can be exerted regardless of others' opinions, status relies entirely on the audience’s perception and willingness to grant it.

Prioritizing Status Over Power

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the often-overlooked importance of status as a precursor to effective power utilization:

• Power First Mentality: Fregale critiques the common approach where individuals prioritize accumulating power without cultivating status. “There’s a mentality that I hear... As long as I can have the resources... I don’t really care if people respect me or not,” she observes ([02:42]).

• Interdependence of Power and Status: She argues that status facilitates easier acquisition and effective use of power. Without status, wielding power can lead to resistance and a generally negative experience. “When we are not respected by our audiences, it makes acquiring power... a lot harder to achieve,” Fregale notes ([02:42]).

Communication Tactics for Warmth and Assertiveness

Fregale introduces the concept of being a "Likable Badass," a balance of warmth and assertiveness essential for building status:

• Warmth (Building Status): Conveyed through verbal and non-verbal cues such as smiling, maintaining eye contact, and mimicking others’ body language. “Smiling conveys warmth. Eye contact conveys warmth. So mimicry conveys warmth,” she explains ([06:39]).

• Assertiveness (Exuding Power): Achieved through behaviors like faster speech rates and shorter response latencies, which signal confidence and capability. “Shorter the gap, the more assertive I’m perceived to be,” Fregale states ([06:39]).

She emphasizes that authentic expression of care and competence through these communication strategies can significantly enhance one’s status and influence.

Avoiding Detrimental Habits

Fregale warns against common communication habits that may undermine one’s status, such as self-deprecation. “If you tell somebody you’re not very good at something, they generally believe you... you’re saying, I’m not capable,” she cautions ([06:39]).

The Role of Mentorship in Building Status

Mentorship emerges as a critical element in developing effective communication skills:

• Learning from Mentors: Fregale shares her experience with a mentor who modeled the balance of clarity, assertiveness, and respect. “She taught me to think about my audience... how to be very clear and assertive about what it is that you want, while also never faltering from the importance of doing right by other people,” she reflects ([11:39]).

• Seeking and Providing Mentorship: She advocates for actively seeking mentors and mentoring others to continuously refine communication strategies and receive constructive feedback.

Building Relationships in Professional Settings

Addressing a transition to a more business-focused role, Fregale offers strategies to maintain relationship-building amidst a culture that favors directness over small talk:

• Balancing Personal and Business Interactions: “Try a combination of both. You can experiment, you can change a variable, you can see what happens,” she advises ([14:08]).

• Finding Common Ground: Emphasizing authenticity, she suggests researching colleagues to find genuine points of similarity, thereby fostering authentic connections. “Greatest basis of liking and attraction... is similarity,” Fregale notes ([14:08]).

• Strategic Authenticity: Using the story of Greg Northcraft, who leveraged shared interests like golf to build rapport, she illustrates how strategic actions can lead to authentic and beneficial relationships.

Navigating First Impressions and Their Impact

Fregale discusses the lasting effects of first impressions and how to amend them if they fall short:

• Flexibility in Changing Impressions: “First impressions change... you’ve changed your mind about people, so they’ll change their mind about you,” she explains ([19:50]).

• Using Advocates: She recommends leveraging respected individuals within an organization to help reshape perceptions. “Change the messenger,” Fregale suggests, by having a respected third party vouch for you ([20:19]).

Closing Insights and Future Directions

In the concluding section, Fregale shares her ongoing research interests and personal reflections:

• Current Research: Focused on retaining women in mid to senior levels within organizations by enhancing status to mitigate interpersonal mistreatment. “How do we create a better experience for women in the workforce... that are going to keep them advancing and keep better representation at the most senior levels,” she states ([22:07]).

• Admired Communicator: She expresses admiration for her advisor, Maggie Neal, highlighting the balance of assertiveness and respect she embodies. “What would Maggie do here? She can be very clear and assertive while doing right by others,” Fregale praises ([23:35]).

• Key Ingredients for Successful Communication: Authenticity, strategy, and curiosity. Fregale emphasizes that understanding one’s audience through curiosity enhances both authenticity and strategic communication. “The more curious you are about your audience, the better able you are to communicate,” she explains ([24:50]).

Notable Quotes

• “Power and status have some things in common. One is they're both sources of influence.” ([02:42] Allison Fregale)

• “Smiling conveys warmth. Eye contact conveys warmth. So mimicry conveys warmth.” ([06:39] Allison Fregale)

• “If you tell somebody you’re not very good at something, they generally believe you. You’re saying, I’m not capable in this domain.” ([06:39] Allison Fregale)

• “Greatest basis of liking and attraction... is similarity.” ([14:08] Allison Fregale)

• “Change the messenger.” ([20:19] Allison Fregale)

Conclusion

Episode 210 offers a profound exploration of how strategically leveraging status alongside power can transform professional interactions and outcomes. Allison Fregale provides actionable strategies grounded in psychological research, emphasizing authenticity, the cultivation of respect, and the importance of understanding one’s audience. Listeners are equipped with practical tools to enhance their communication, build stronger relationships, and navigate complex social dynamics in both personal and professional spheres.

For more detailed insights and actionable communication techniques, subscribe to Think Fast Talk Smart and tune in every Tuesday for new episodes.