247. “Matt”er of Fact: Coaching on Feedback and Q&A

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Think Fast Talk Smart – Episode 247

Title: “Matt”er of Fact: Coaching on Feedback and Q&A
Host: Matt Abrahams
Date: December 2, 2025

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Episode Overview

This special "Quick Thinks" episode of Think Fast Talk Smart explores the role of AI in communication coaching through a creative experiment: host Matt Abrahams interacts with two AI-powered versions of himself—Coach Matt (a vocal AI coach) and Chat Matt (a text-based chatbot trained on podcast archives). Matt seeks AI-guided advice on how to communicate effectively, handle impromptu questions, deliver feedback constructively, and prepare for high-stakes Q&A scenarios. The episode demonstrates actionable techniques for feedback and preparation while offering a glimpse into how AI can augment communication training.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Addressing Communication Anxiety and Confidence

Timestamps: 04:24 – 07:15

• Situation: Matt expresses nervousness about interviewing the Chat Matt chatbot—unsure about both technology performance and the alignment of its answers with his expectations.
• Insight:
  • Coach Matt diagnoses the nerves as "future-focused anxiety" (05:27)—worrying about things outside one's immediate control.
  • Reframing Technique:

    “Instead of thinking of this as a high stakes test…what if you approached it more like a curious conversation with a colleague?” (Coach Matt, 05:27)

  • Productive Preparation:
    Focus on visualizing positive outcomes ("what if things go really well") instead of bracing for failure.
  • Affirmation:
    Trust your expertise—the content is already a reflection of your work.

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2. Delivering Constructive Feedback with Empathy

Timestamps: 07:15 – 08:51

• Situation: Matt asks how to give the developers feedback if Chat Matt underperforms, aiming to be direct yet considerate.
• Advice – The “What, So What, Now What” Structure:
  • What: State objectively what happened (without judgment).
  • So What: Explain why it matters.
  • Now What: Suggest collaborative next steps.
  • Example (Coach Matt, 08:02):

    “What I noticed: the chatbot struggled with some nuanced questions about handling anxiety. So what: that’s such a core part of our content… Now what: I’d love to work with you to identify specific episodes or concepts we could emphasize in the training.”

  • Key Point: Focus is on improving the work, not criticizing people.

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3. Evaluating AI Communication Tools: A Smart Testing Question

Timestamps: 08:51 – 09:37

• Situation: Matt asks Coach Matt for a challenging test question to probe Chat Matt’s capabilities.
• Suggested Approach:

  “Ask it something that requires it to synthesize multiple concepts and apply them to a real scenario…” (Coach Matt, 08:54)

  • Sample Question:
    “I’m about to give a presentation to senior executives who seem skeptical about my proposal. I’m feeling anxious and I only have two minutes to make my case. What’s your advice?”
• Purpose: This kind of question tests if the AI can combine topics like anxiety management, message structure, and audience adaptation.

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4. Chat Matt in Action: Advice for High-Stakes, Time-Crunched Presentations

Timestamps: 11:55 – 16:35

• Matt’s Scenario: Presenting a proposal to skeptical executives, feeling anxious, with only two minutes to be persuasive.
• Chat Matt’s Guidance:
  • On Anxiety:
    Validate the nerves, recommend presence techniques (deep breaths, quick walk, favorite song).

    “What I’m really hearing you say is that the stakes feel high and that’s totally normal... Before you present, do something to help you be more present-oriented.” (Chat Matt, 12:30)

  • Content Structure for Two-Minute Pitches:
    • Clarify Main Message: Decide the one takeaway for the audience.
    • Concise Framing: Lead with the high-level overview, set expectations, and “signal confidence.”
    • Anticipate Questions: Prepare for, but don’t preemptively answer, tough objections.
  • Memorable Closing Advice:

    “Clarify your main point, set clear boundaries, use presence techniques to tame anxiety, and anticipate questions. You’ve got this...” (Chat Matt, 13:35)

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5. Crafting a Clear, Compelling Two-Minute Proposal

Timestamps: 14:20 – 16:35

• Prompt: Matt asks for more detail on structuring his proposal concisely.
• Chat Matt’s Checklist:
  • Understand Their Mission: Tailor your message to the audience’s priorities.
  • Map Out Core Ingredients:
    1. State the big problem/opportunity.
    2. Narrow focus to your unique contribution.
    3. Show the ‘gap’ your solution addresses.
    4. Present crisp action steps (3–5 highlights).
    5. Paint a quick vision of the positive end state.
  • Attention Grab: Start with a provocative question, vivid stat, or quick story.
  • Summary:

    “Focus on concision, relevance and precision. What’s their mission? What’s the big problem? How do I and my approach uniquely fit? What will I do? What does success look like? Hit those beats and you’ll make your two minutes count.” (Chat Matt, 15:50)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Coach Matt on reframing nerves:

  “You’re dealing with what I call future focused anxiety. You’re worried about outcomes you can’t control… What if you approached it like a curious conversation with a colleague?” (05:27)

• Coach Matt on feedback:

  “You’re focusing on the work, not the people, and you’re positioning yourself as a partner in making it better.” (08:18)

• Coach Matt on testing the chatbot:

  “Ask it something that requires it to synthesize multiple concepts…” (08:54)

• Chat Matt on anxiety in high-stakes communication:

  “Upwards of 85% of people feel nervous in these sorts of situations.” (12:30)

• Chat Matt's structure for impactful pitches:

  “What’s their mission? What’s the big problem? How do I and my approach uniquely fit? What will I do? What does success look like? Hit those beats and you’ll make your two minutes count.” (15:50)

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Timeline of Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:18 | Introduction to Coach Matt and Matt’s worries | | 05:27 | Coach Matt’s reframing and confidence-building strategies | | 07:33 | “What, So What, Now What” feedback structure | | 08:54 | Designing a challenging question for Chat Matt | | 11:55 | Chat Matt’s answer: Handling anxiety & time-limited presentations | | 14:20 | Chat Matt expands on structuring a compelling, two-minute proposal | | 16:35 | Episode wrap-up and encouragement to try out the AI coaches |

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Conclusion & Takeaways

The episode provides a practical masterclass on two fronts:

• Handling Uncertainty & Confidence: Frame challenges as opportunities for curiosity and learning, not as tests of self-worth or perfection.
• Feedback & Collaboration: Use objective structures ("What, So What, Now What") to give feedback that improves work while valuing relationships.
• Preparation for Q&A: For high-stress, high-impact moments, clarity, brevity, and relevance are key. Prepare for tough questions and focus attention with compelling structure.
• AI as a Communication Aid: AI-powered tools like Coach Matt and Chat Matt can offer personalized, actionable guidance and reinforce best practices.

“You’re more ready than you think you are. Good luck with Chat Matt.” (Coach Matt, 10:01)

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For more strategies on communication, subscribe to Think Fast Talk Smart or join their new interactive learning community at fastersmarter.io.

Transcript

[Matt Abrahams]

Hi Matt here. Before we get started, I wanted to remind you about our new Think Fast, Talk Smart Learning community where listeners from around the world can come together to practice and transform their communication and careers. Members get access to exclusive on demand learning lessons, guided quests, live book club calls, an AI coach mat, and much more. Join today at Fastersmarter IO learning. If you sign up before January 2nd, you will get one month free and with the holidays coming, you can give the gift of better communication. Join soon so you can be part of our first live book club on December 11th and an AMA ask Matt anything on December 16th. Go to fastersmarter IO learning to join now here's a message from one of our sponsors. One thing I teach all the time is that confidence begins before you ever open your mouth. It starts with feeling prepared and comfortable, and that's one of the reasons I've really appreciated quints. They make it easy to look put together without turning your wardrobe into another big decision. Quints focuses on the pieces most of us actually need well made sweaters, coats and everyday pants that fit the way they should. Everything comes from trusted factories that meet high standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. It's simple, straightforward and I really appreciate that. On a personal note, I recently picked up new shorts and pants from Quints and according to my wife, they're definitely a noticeable upgrade. They make getting ready easier and now that I know how reliable Quint is, I'll be using Quint for gifts too. They've got lots of options beyond clothing, things for your home bath, kitchen and travel. Get your wardrobe sorted and your gift list handled with Quints. Don't wait. Go to quints.com thinkfast for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com thinkfast free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com thinkfast.

At some point in our lives, most of us have benefited from the advice and guidance from a coach. Today we're going to hear from two coaches I know quite well. My name is Matt Abrahams and I teach strategic communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to this special Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast. This episode is very different than any we have ever done. You'll have an opportunity to learn from three versions of me and afterward you'll be able to do the same. But before we get to that, on December 1st we're opening up our Think Fast Talk Smart online online learning Community designed to help people around the world sharpen communication skills in a personalized, collaborative way. Our subscription based learning community is open to anyone and includes incredibly useful tools and features like asynchronous learning lessons, interactive learning plans and quests, book Clubs, and not one, but two AI coaching tools. Like many of you, we at ThinkFast Talk Smart have been experimenting with AI and I'm thrilled to share the results. With the help of some very talented developers, we've co created two AI tools. One is a digital twin created by Sounding Board that has been trained on my writings and coaching practice. We'll call him Coach Matt. You can have a vocal conversation with him and he sounds just like me. It's like having a phone call with me to get the advice you want. The other AI tool is a text based chatbot that has been trained on all of our Think Fast Talk Smart episodes. We call it Chat Matt. You just type in your queries and chatmat types back answers for you. I'm super excited about these tools and I thought it would be fun to share them with you so you can learn from them and see how useful they can be to you. So in this episode I'm going to have a conversation with Coach Matt to get coaching on how best to interact with Chat Matt. I'll then follow Coach Matt's advice when I interact with Chat Matt. Okay, that is the longest setup I have done for any interview. Let's get started with my conversation with Coach Matt.

Welcome Coach Matt. I look forward to our conversation and learning from you.

[Coach Matt]

Hi Matt, welcome back. I'm excited to work with you again. What's one speaking moment you are preparing for today?

[Matt Abrahams]

So Coach Matt, I need your advice and guidance. I'm interviewing a text based chatbot I helped create that has been trained on all of our Think Fast, Talk Smart the podcast episodes. I'm a bit nervous for my conversation because I'm not sure how it will go. How can I feel more confident?

[Coach Matt]

Alright, let's think about this for a sec. That's fascinating. You're essentially interviewing your own creation. I can hear both excitement and some uncertainty in your voice. You've built something impressive, but now you're stepping into uncharted territory to see how it performs. Let me ask you this. When you think about sitting down with this chatbot, what specifically has you feeling nervous? Is it more about whether the technology will work as expected or. Or are you worried about how you'll come across during the conversation or something else entirely? I'm curious because understanding the root of that nervousness will help us figure out the best way to get you feeling confident and ready.

[Matt Abrahams]

So I think I'm nervous both about the technology working or not, and I'm.

A little nervous to see what the results are. Are they going to be accurate? Are they going to be what I.

Think they should be?

[Coach Matt]

Got it. I hear you. So you've got this dual anxiety, the tech performance piece, and then the bigger question of whether your creation actually reflects what you hoped it would. Here's what I'm thinking. You're dealing with what I call future focused anxiety. You're worried about outcomes you can't control. Right now, the technology might hiccup, the responses might surprise you, and that's actually pretty normal when you're testing something new. Let me offer you a reframe that might help. Instead of thinking of this as a high stakes test where everything needs to be perfect, what if you approached it more like a curious conversation with a colleague? You're not evaluating whether you're a good creator. You're simply exploring what this tool can do. Before we dive into some specific techniques. Tell me, when you imagine the conversation going well, what does that look like to you? What would make you feel like, yes, this worked?

[Matt Abrahams]

I love the idea of the reframe. I. I think success for me is that I get results that are actionable, that make sense, and I think would benefit everybody. Hmm.

[Coach Matt]

Okay. I love that you're focused on value and impact. That's exactly where your energy should be. That tells me you're approaching this from the right place. Here's a quick confidence tool I want you to try. Since you're worried about both the tech and the results, let's use what I call productive preparation. Instead of trying to predict what might go wrong, spend a few minutes thinking through what you'll do if things go really well. Picture yourself getting those actionable, sensible results that could help everyone. This does two things. It gets your brain focused on success rather than failure, and it actually prepares you to make the most of good moments when they happen. Also, remember you know this content better than almost anyone you've been living and breathing. Think fast, talk smart. Trust that knowledge the chatbot learned from you, so in many ways, you're the expert in the room. What do you think? Does that reframe feel helpful, or is there another angle of this nervousness we should tackle?

[Matt Abrahams]

That reframe is really helpful. Focus on what can happen that's positive and really put my energy there? Let's say Chatmat does not perform as well as I wanted it to, I'll have to give constructive feedback to the people who developed it. I want to give direct feedback, but I don't want to offend them or hurt their feelings.

How should I approach that situation if.

[Coach Matt]

It comes up, you're being really thoughtful about this. And that care for the developer's feelings actually shows great leadership. Let me give you a structure that can help you be both direct and respectful. It's called what so what now what? And it's perfect for giving constructive feedback without creating defensiveness. Here's how it works. Start with the what. Describe what you observed without judgment. Then the so what? Explain why it matters to the bigger picture. Finally, now what? Suggest a path forward that feels collaborative. For example, what I noticed the chatbot struggled with some nuanced questions about handling anxiety. So what? Since that's such a core part of our content, we want to make sure people get reliable guidance there. Now what? I'd love to work with you to identify specific episodes or concepts we could emphasize in the training. See how that lands as helpful rather than critical. You're focusing on the work, not the people, and you're positioning yourself as a partner and making it better. Want to try crafting one example using this structure?

[Matt Abrahams]

You know, Coach Matt, that's a great structure, one I really like and I love your advice and I'm going to take care to practice in a little bit. But I'd really like your advice on one more thing. When I sit down with the chatbot to type in some questions, can you give me a suggestion for a good question that I could ask to test.

To see if it really does know its communication advice?

[Coach Matt]

Here's what I'd suggest. Ask it something that requires it to synthesize multiple concepts and apply them to a real scenario. Something like, I'm about to give a presentation to senior executives who seem skeptical about my proposal. I'm feeling anxious and I only have two minutes to make my case. What's your advice? This question is perfect because it tests whether the chatbot can recognize the anxiety component and offer practical tools. A good response should touch on managing nerves and using a clear structure like problem, solution, benefit, and maybe even audience focused language. If it just gives generic advice or misses those layers, you'll know there's work to do. What do you think? Does that feel like it would give you a good read on whether Chatmat really gets it?

[Matt Abrahams]

I think that would be great.

I think it would give me a.

Very good read and I'm very impressed by your detailed answer. Thanks so much for that. And do me a favor, give me a goodbye that I can share with other people. How would you close out our conversation?

[Coach Matt]

I'm going to create a card for you with that goodbye so you can easily share it. There you go. And thank you for catching that. I used what so what now what? In my feedback. That's exactly the kind of awareness that's going to serve you well. You're more ready than you think you are. Good luck with chat.

[Matt Abrahams]

Matt.

Thank you very much and that goodbye message is fantastic. We've now heard helpful advice from Coach Matt. Let's switch to the keyboard and have a typed conversation with Chatmat. Since many of you are listening on the go and not watching. We've used a text to voice tool so you can hear what Chatmat typed back to us.

We'll be right back to finish our conversation, but first we're going to take a quick break for a message from our sponsors. These sponsorships support the cost of making our show, allowing us to bring it to you free of charge. Hi Matt here. I love the holiday season, but sometimes there can be a lot of pressure and challenging situations with family and friends. So to help prepare this year I plan to spend time with Masterclass to learn valuable skills to help me feel better about and be better at my holiday gatherings. I'm excited to learn more from one of our former guests, Chris Voss, whose Art of Negotiation Masterclass will certainly come in handy. With Masterclass you can learn from the best to become your best. Plans start at just $10 a month billed annually, and you get unlimited access to over 200 classes. Masterclass makes things convenient too. You can listen in audio mode while commuting, download classes for a flight, or watch on your TV at home. Masterclass always has great offerings during the holidays, sometimes up to 50% off. Head over to masterclass.com thinkfast to check out their current offer. That's masterclass.com thinkfast Masterclass is a gift that keeps on giving, teaching and inspiring long after the holidays are over. Chatmat I'm about to give a presentation to senior executives who seem skeptical about my proposal. I'm feeling anxious and I only have two minutes to make my case. What's your advice?

[Chat Matt]

First, I want to thank you for sharing a really important and common Feeling anxious before addressing a skeptical, high stakes audience. Let's jump right in. So if you only have two minutes, my advice is to set very clear boundaries for yourself and your message. From the start, think about what your bottom line is. What's the one thing you want those senior executives to remember or walk away with. You don't have time to tell them everything. Instead, focus on delivering your high level overview as succinctly and clearly as possible. Now let's talk anxiety. What I'm really hearing you say is that the stakes feel high and that's totally normal. In fact, upwards of 85% of people feel nervous in these sorts of situations. Here's what I Before you present, do something to help you be more present oriented. For example, take a short walk, listen to a favorite song, or even more practically, if you're pressed for time, take a few deep breaths. These techniques help manage your symptoms of anxiety, allowing you to focus on your message rather than your nerves. When you get up there, start by setting expectations. For example, you might say, I'm really excited to share my proposal. I'd like to take just two minutes to outline the key points and then I welcome your questions. This approach signals confidence, controls the flow, and sets respectful boundaries with a skeptical audience. And finally, remember, you don't need to answer every question in advance, but you should anticipate the toughest ones. Take some time to reflect on the questions you're likely to get and practice your answers. This preparation not only builds confidence, but also ensures you're ready if the conversation shifts quickly. So here's my Clarify your main point Set clear boundaries, use presence techniques to tame anxiety, and anticipate questions. You've got this and I'm excited for you to make your case.

[Matt Abrahams]

Thanks Chatmat. Your advice about my approach is very.

Good, but I don't feel like you.

Gave me insight into how to craft my proposal in a short amount of time? Without a strong proposal, I'll be in trouble. Can you please provide a bit more advice on how I can be more clear and compelling in my two minutes I have for my proposal?

[Chat Matt]

Thank you for that question and I really appreciate your honesty and drive to get this right under time pressure. So let's jump right in. When you've only got a couple of minutes to craft and deliver your proposal, clarity and focus are absolutely essential. Here's what I'd recommend based on my experience and the insights from our guests. First, start by clearly understanding the mission or priorities of the person or group you're making the request to, and that's your North Star. If you're not speaking directly to what matters to them, it's game over. Before you begin. Second, in your two minutes, you'll want to map out these core ingredients, state the big problem, briefly outline the larger problem or opportunity you want to be part of. Solving this helps your audience see the significance right away. Narrow your focus. Zero in on the specific piece of that problem you and only you are uniquely positioned to address. Show the opportunity. Clearly convey that this sub problem hasn't been solved yet, but you have the insight or approach to tackle it. Present concrete actions. Boil your approach down to three to five crisp action steps. You don't need all the details, just the highlights that demonstrate you've thought this through. Paint the future state. End with a quick summary of what things will look like once you succeed. What's the positive future you're proposing? And remember, because attention is our most precious commodity. Parachuting in with an engaging start, a provocative question, a vivid statistic, or a quick story can make all the difference in those opening seconds. So if I were to summarize for you. Focus on concision, relevance and precision. What's their mission? What's the big problem? How do I and my approach uniquely fit? What will I do? What does success look like? Hit those beats and you'll make your two minutes count. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to clarify and I wish you the best of luck with your proposal. Let's get you set up for that future state of success.

[Matt Abrahams]

A big thank you to both Coach Matt and Chat Matt.

[Coach Matt]

Thank you.

[Matt Abrahams]

Every time I work with either of them, I'm amazed at what is possible with AI technology. I hope you learned something from our coaching session about giving feedback and asking insightful questions. Now it's your turn. I invite you to try out Coach Matt and Chat Matt on our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning community. You can sign up at fastersmarter IO Learning.

[Coach Matt]

Foreign.

[Matt Abrahams]

I wanted to share with you that over the past few months I've had the amazing opportunity of talking to listeners across the globe about the impact the podcast has had on them. I love learning how people are applying the principles and concepts that we cover on the podcast and the impact of that it has had on their lives. It is truly inspiring. Speaking on behalf of all of us that bring you the show, we thank you for your support. We look forward to bringing you new episodes, new techniques and deeper knowledge. And we ask for your support. It takes time and effort to put this show on the air. Please keep your ideas coming and if you can, we'd love for you to join our premium. Thank you. And here's to another 200 episodes.