← Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques
Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques
286. Driven to Succeed: Turn Doubt Into Your Competitive Advantage
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Podcast Host
Hi Matt. Here at thinkfast Talk Smart, we're all
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Matt Abrahams
about helping you hone and develop your
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Podcast Host
communication skills for work and life. We are thrilled that so many of you across the globe tune in. We'd like your help spreading the word so we can reach even more people throughout. May we ask that you follow and subscribe to our show on your player of choice? Send a link to your friends, family and coworkers and be sure to rate and review us. Also, make sure to check out our fun Think Fast Talk Smart gift giveaways on our social channels. Together, we can help people all over the world to think fast and talk smart. Now, a word from one of our sponsors. Their support covers the cost of production, allowing us to bring you quality content free of charge. Language isn't just about words. It's about connection, opportunity and credibility. That's one reason I like Babbel. It focuses on real world communication, not just vocabulary drills, but practical conversations you can actually use, whether that's collaborating internationally, traveling for work, or building relationships across cultures. The lessons are short, about 10 minutes, so they fit into busy schedules and they're designed by more than 200 language experts with tools for listening, speaking, reading and writing. It adapts to how you learn and helps you track real progress over time. For many of our listeners, whether you're strengthening English skills, adding another language for professional growth, or staying connected globally, it's a practical way to keep moving forward. Babbel has over 25 million subscriptions sold worldwide, offers 14 languages, and every course comes with a 14 day money back guarantee. If you've ever thought about learning another language, this is a perfect opportunity to start Right now. Babel is offering up to 60% off your subscription at Babbel.com TFTs that's Babbel B-A-B-B-E-L.com TFTs for up to 60% off rules and restrictions apply.
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Matt Abrahams
Drive and clarity can really help you land your communication I'm Matt Abrahams and I teach strategic Communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast. Today. I look forward to speaking with Susie Wolfe. Susie is a highly respected former professional race car driver. Susie now serves as the managing director of F1 Academy, an all female racing series dedicated to developing the next generation of female talent. Her new book is appropriately called Driven. Unlike most of our episodes where I interview our guest solo, today I am really excited to be joined by Tiggy Valen. Tiggy is an F1 enthusiast who hosts the Paddock Project which brings A fresh female perspective to Formula One. Tiggy and I got to know each other at Stanford gsb, where Tiggy was one of my former students. Well, welcome, Tiggy. Thank you for helping me today.
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Tiggy Valen
I'm so excited to be here.
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Matt Abrahams
Thank you and welcome, Suzy. We are both super excited for our conversation.
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Susie Wolfe
I'm equally excited. Thank you for having me.
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Matt Abrahams
Excellent. Shall we get started?
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Susie Wolfe
Let's go for it to begin.
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Matt Abrahams
I'd love to know, and I'm sure our listeners would, where did your interest in motorsport come from?
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Susie Wolfe
Well, I think you could say it was in my blood, because my mom met my dad when she went to buy her first motorbike from his shop. I had a little motorbike from the age of two. I got a go kart for my eighth birthday, and I was always that very competitive little girl that hated losing. I had a real love of speed. And looking back, I was really lucky that I had an older brother who was only 18 months older than me. And my parents never really differentiated between son and daughter, so I never once felt I was doing anything unusual for a girl. And of course, in my sport, we all wear a helmet when we're racing, so the gender or the driver isn't always visible. So it set me off on a path. And at the age of 8, 9, 10, you're not thinking about the future, you're not thinking about a career. You're simply doing what you love in the moment. And how grateful I am that I found that thing I love doing at such a young age.
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Tiggy Valen
It's incredible. Yeah, it sounds like it's been your entire life. I do want to fast forward several years, though, because I think when you joined Mercedes for your DTM test, and I'm sure in many rooms that you've walked into since, you have been the only woman amongst many men. And so I guess I'm curious what advice you have for someone who may be underrepresented for some reason. Age, gender, race, whatever it may be, trying to assert their voice and their expertise in a room where their contributions are perhaps doubted or not respected as much as others.
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Susie Wolfe
I think it was over time that I realized, because I was very often the only woman in a situation, whether that be the garage or in a meeting room or in the simulator. And I realized quite early on that performance is what counts in sport. And what I love about being in sport is it's very objective. It's black and white. You're either fast or slow. There's no subjectivity to it. So I always knew if I delivered performance. I had to get respect. And interestingly, when you walk into a room, you can quite often feel it's not blatant skepticism, but you have an undercurrent of whether I'm taken seriously in this setting or, okay, I've got my work to do to win these people over. And I quite often was never the loudest voice in the room, never the one that spoke the most often. But I made sure when I did speak that I really had something to say. And I knew I also had to believe in myself in many situations. Because if you want others to believe in you, you need to give off those vibes that you at least have confidence in your own abilities before you can expect others to believe in you.
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Matt Abrahams
So being aware of the room as you walk into it and then being judicious in what you say, the confidence in ourselves is really critical. And a lot of people might not have that confidence. I'm curious, were there some things you did to help remind you that you belong in those rooms and your voice really does matter? How did you build some of that confidence? Because I think it's critical in all communication.
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Susie Wolfe
I'm really lucky that I'm the character that if someone tells me I can't, it makes me even more determined to show them I can. And I'm really thankful for that character trait because there have been so many times throughout my career that there were so many doubters, but that lights a fire inside of me and it makes me even more determined. But in a way there's no bitterness or regret if I don't manage it. It's more the biggest battle is with me. I want to achieve. I want to be the best racing driver I can be. I want to be the best leader I can be. So I hold myself to high standards.
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Matt Abrahams
It's really that self motivation and having a clear purpose and goal that really I'm hearing, is what drives some of that confidence in you. You successfully transitioned from the driver's seat to become a team principal and eventually CEO of Venturi Racing. You said that when you were a driver, you focused entirely on yourself, but as a leader, you had to focus on the group, the collective. Many folks listening in are in positions of transitioning from individual contributors to being team leads, managers and beyond. What advice and guidance do you have for helping people make that transition? What were some of the skills you had to develop as you move from focusing on your own contribution to the broader team?
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Susie Wolfe
It's a really good question and it was definitely a transition when you're a sports person, you're so selfish. It's all about you. Because it all lands on your shoulders. In a sport like racing Formula one, it really is a collective effort because no matter how good you are as a driver, your car isn't quick enough. You're not going to win a race. So I think being in that environment, you learn quite early on, okay, I need the people around me, so you need to bring people on the journey with you. They need to live through the successes, but also the failures so that camaraderie is instilled in you from a very young age because you want to get to the best team, you want to have the best people around you. And ultimately, I learned quite early on, surround yourself with great people. When I moved and transitioned into leading a formulae team, I looked at my whole network that I'd met over the many years and immediately looked, okay, who do I want to surround myself with? Who are best in class in each of their areas? And in our sport, quite often the quickest way to gain performance is simply to poach someone from another team that's performing because they bring all their know how. You know, surround yourself with great people and set realistic goals. You know, you need to be quite honest in your beliefs of what you can achieve. Because if I'd gone to those people I was trying to hire and say, listen, we could be world champions in two years, they would have laughed in my face. We didn't have the organization, the know how, the investment in the background to turn it around quickly. But I very much said to them, listen, I know what I need to do. Come on this journey with me. I managed their expectations, but I very much made them come and feel part of the transformation and part of the journey.
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Tiggy Valen
That old adage sounds so true of it takes a village. And it's equally important in the successes, but also the failures, and maybe even more so in the failures, because you do have to have a little bit more persuasion, convincing, honesty to get the right people, people on board. But hopefully it's a self fulfilling prophecy where you get the people who believe in the mission and you can work towards success together. One thing I love about Formula One F1 Academy is that you all operate across dozens of countries and cultures, which means you're constantly working with people who have very different styles of communication, cultural expectations. I'm curious how that experience has been for you.
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Susie Wolfe
I definitely had to navigate that, but I also realized it does come down to the individuals, not just certain cultures, but the individuals within that culture. And you start to learn through your key people. Key how do they like to communicate? Do they need me to ask them how their family is before we get down to business or can we get straight into business? And I think you learn how certain characters are and then you then navigate your way through. But my preferred line of communication is always get to it, be efficient and let's not waste any time.
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Matt Abrahams
Being cognizant of what works for you, I think is the starting point for communicating with others. And then the second thing I heard you say, which is really important, is be open to input and insight into how others like to be communicated and then make adjustments if it makes sense. As managing director of the F1 Academy, you were tasked with creating a competitive pathway for young female drivers. A lot of what we talk about on this show is persuasion and influence. When you were building this movement and generating a call to action, there was a long term vision. How do you get people to join you, especially when they're traditionally focused on the here and now, the immediate short term results. How did you manage to get people to buy into your long term vision?
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Susie Wolfe
Well, I was really lucky that I was in an industry which realized that the climate was changing in a way. We as F1 have 42% of the global fan base now being female. So I only really took this role at F1 Academy because I knew this was our chance and I wasn't even sure if we would ever see this chance in my lifetime. But I think that the sport changed. There was a massive investment in women's sport at the time and I think those elements really made me believe, okay, the timing is right for something to shift. But When I arrived, F1 Academy had been set up to be something much smaller. And of course, I came in with this huge vision. We're going to race with F1. We're going to centralize all the commercial assets in house. I'm going to get the F1 teams on board. But I was at the beginning just taking my time to build a very clear strategy. I'm someone that doesn't try to run before I can walk. So I said to Stefano, the CEO of Formula one, I need six weeks to really figure out this plan and then I'll come to you and I'll show you what I think we need to do. And I really took my time then to really speak to the best in the business, the people whose opinions I rated. What do you think we can do? What's been done in the past that hasn't worked? So I Got as much intel from as many different people within the sport, different perspectives from mine, and some were not nice to hear. Women will never make it to Formula one. You're wasting your time. But I had to hear those inputs. I had to know why they didn't think it was possible, because that was just as important for me than those who said, it's absolutely important now in the sport. This is what we need to do. This is going to get more female talent. And then it was about building a team. But the initial months where I like to say firefighting, we were trying to come up with solutions to scenarios that had never come up in the sport before. You know, the F1 teams, they've never given their name and liveries to anything outside of the cars they've built. And suddenly there was little me asking them, I want you to do it for a female racing driver in F1 Academy. But I think when they understood why this could have a positive impact on the sport, how it could generate return on investment for them, they could see the reasons why. And then I turned around and said, and I'm not going to oblige you to stay. If you give me your trust, I'll prove to you that this can work. And if it doesn't, you can walk away at any moment. I won't oblige you, and you shouldn't look at us and feel like it's a charity case. And then slowly but surely we managed to build a platform which really showed that it had its place in this sport, that created value, that had a financial sustainability as a backbone. And I think that's what allowed me, over then two or three seasons, to build that credibility and to show people that, well, F1 Academy can be positively impactful.
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Matt Abrahams
You started, it sounds like, by really understanding the opportunity, having done some research into what made sense, it didn't hurt that there were some things going on in the broader change in how people approach sport, especially around women. And then you set up a strategy, you set time to really think about it strategically. And what really resonated with me is you took time to talk to people, not just people who had similar ideas and opinions, but people who had very disparate opinions. And that helped you form the plan. And through that you were able to put together a very persuasive message. And I love also that you had metrics. You said, here's what success is going to look like and hold me to the success, and congratulations, by the way, on the success that you've had with that. But there Are a lot of lessons in there for anybody who's trying to implement something, have a vision, make sure it's grounded in reality, come up with a plan that's informed by not just people who support what you're saying and derive metrics and commit to those metrics, and from there, move forward in leadership. In any situation, but especially in elite sport, you often are put in a situation where you have to deliver hard truths. Maybe a driver isn't performing well, a sponsor isn't properly aligned. How do you prepare yourself for those conversations? And what advice do you have for delivering constructive feedback? My sense is something. Part of it is being very direct. But I'm curious the other pieces for you.
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Susie Wolfe
Well, my husband calls it tough love, that feedback on where you need to improve, what you can do better. And I won't lie, it hurts a little bit. But I do like and appreciate also the areas and the weaknesses that he pulls out the criticisms, because as much as it stings in that first moment, it helps you be better. And I'm a big believer in getting comfortable and uncomfortable. Put yourself in those situations where you are under pressure or you are getting feedback that isn't what you want to hear, and don't get too overly emotional about it. Try and take a step back and say, okay, why have they informed that opinion that I could do that better or that isn't good enough, and how can I actually make sure that I do do it better or it can be seen in a different light. And there are sometimes instances where I say, well, I disagree because this is why I do it and this is why it's turned out this way. But I do think in those moments you have to just take the initial sting that is criticism, but then see it for the positive because it does help you improve in the long term. But I also, when I'm delivering criticism to my team or sometimes to the drivers, I do always try and put myself to the other person's shoes so I could see their perspective. And that's one of the things I love about my role. I've been on the journey that these young women have been on. I know how tough it is, and I know how much they sacrifice to try and make it as a driver, and not all of them will. And there's certain times where it does break my heart when I have to tell a driver, well, you're out. Because the performance wasn't there, because I've had someone tell that to me. And I know how tough it can be. But I think the one Thing I've definitely learned is don't shy away from confrontation. Don't shy away from the difficult discussions. Don't try and get other people to do them for you, because you need to have the difficult discussions. And as long as you can do it in a human way, which has a bit of empathy built in, you need to deliver the hard truth. And quite often those hard truths are the moments in your life where you either have to dig deeper and come back stronger or slightly change your pathway. You mentioned the word failure. I had so many more failures in my life than I did successes. So many more. But it was in those moments of failure where I had to decide, okay, am I coming back from this or am I taking a different route? And it's in those moments that I think you really have to stay true to yourself. Have you got it in you to keep going or are you going to pick another path?
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Tiggy Valen
I love that I'm hearing two things. One, to be able to deliver hard feedback, you first have to be comfortable with receiving it yourself. You have to get over the initial sting of it and take that and say, this is a defining moment of whether I become something better, something different, or I don't. And then second is that empathy piece. So when you are delivering hard feedback, you really have to think about who you're delivering that message to and make sure that you're thinking through what it's like in their shoes. I want to go back to one of the things you said, Susie, because you mentioned you learned to become comfortable in the. With the uncomfortable. And first of all, congratulations on your book, because in the letter to your younger self at the end of Driven, you mentioned that, and I would love to dig into that a little more. When you speak to whether it's young women today, your drivers or whoever else, how would you instruct them to embrace that discomfort and also communicate their value and kind of sit with that and make something out of it?
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Susie Wolfe
I think that getting comfortable and uncomfortable is also closely linked to resilience. When you're really put on the spot where you're under pressure, where you're uncomfortable, that is where you need to find that inner strength within you to see, okay, I can overcome this, or I can prepare myself in such a way that I have the tools to overcome this. And in high pressure environments, which was a lot of my career, and even to this day, I always say to myself, the best I can do is be the best version of myself. And if that's good enough to succeed, I can be really proud if it's not good enough, well, I gave it my best shot and I'm okay with not succeeding, with failing. But it's putting yourself in the best possible position for success. So even when it gets uncomfortable, what are you doing to try and make it then comfortable? What are you doing to put yourself in a position where you can get yourself back into a comfort zone? How are you learning new things? And those are the moments where I think you grow the most as a person. And I remember when I took the role in the Formula E team, there was a couple of moments in the first six weeks where I thought, what have I got myself into here? This is so much and I don't have the tools to manage all of this. And the same thing with F1 Academy. I remember one of the first race weekends, my phone was blowing up from the team principals in F1, from everyone telling me what's wrong, what needs to be better, why it's not good. And I said, God, there's so much to do. But then again, that little person in me that loves the challenge, that has the resilience kicked in and said, okay, let's work through this step by step. We're going to manage this. Let's break it down. What can we do as small steps that will then look like bigger steps in the mid to long term? So I think it really is that preparation of putting yourself in the best position to succeed in any given moment, no matter how uncomfortable you are, and then not allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by just how big the challenge is
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Matt Abrahams
really that approach of going to give it my best and even if it doesn't go the way I want, I knowing that I give it my best is something I can live with and then breaking it down into the pieces. So while it might be very uncomfortable and overwhelming, there is a path forward and I appreciate that.
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Podcast Host
We'll be right back to finish our conversation. But first, a quick word from one of our sponsors. Their support allows us to bring you this show free of charge when things get busy, and they always do. The real challenge is focus. Knowing where to spend your time so you actually make meaningful progress. But that's hard when you're trying to do everything yourself. That's where upwork can help. Upwork is a one stop platform to find, hire and pay expert freelancers across areas like marketing, development, data and analytics, and more. It gives you fast access to specialized talent so you can move quickly, fill key gaps and keep your work moving forward without getting stuck. You can browse profiles, review past work and get help scoping your project so you can hire with confidence and get started faster. And if speed really matters, you can connect with top tier talent and get matched in under six hours. It's a simple way to maintain momentum and focus on what matters most. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That's Upwork. Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's up w o r k.com upwork.com and now back to our conversation.
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Matt Abrahams
Susie, before we end, as you know, I like to ask three questions. One, I'm going to make up just for you. And then the other two I've been asking people as long as we've been doing the show. Are you up for that?
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Susie Wolfe
I'm up for it. You're going to put me on the spot.
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Matt Abrahams
So one of the things I really enjoyed about your book was how honest and open you were. You, you demonstrated a lot of vulnerability. I'm curious to get your thoughts on the role vulnerability plays in leadership. Is it important for leaders to be vulnerable to share failures and negative thoughts that they've had? Is that an important piece to being an effective leader?
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Susie Wolfe
For me it is because I think especially in the role that I am in where I'm having a lot of interactions with the next generation, I'm trying to inspire them. I'm trying to create a new pathway within what is a very male dominated environment. I want them to learn from my mistakes. I want them to realize how tough my journey was so that their journey might be a little bit less tough than mine was. And of course, my husband works in the same industry and he's someone that when they were dominant in Formula one, had huge visibility and he chose to take that moment when he had a very powerful voice to say, well, I also have struggles, you know, with my own mental health. And he felt it was important to humanize because quite often people look from a distance and they think we're having this incredible life. And don't get me wrong, there's so many things I'm very grateful for in my life. But in the book it was important for me to show that it hasn't all been a bed of Rosies. There's been so many tough moments on the journey and I hope a lot of women will resonate and men with tough moments in their journey and how you have to pick yourself back up. But we all have our own struggles and I think my style of leadership is certainly to be quite open in those moments. So that people can resonate. And I think that honesty shows people that you're also being authentic.
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Matt Abrahams
There certainly is an authenticity to that. And thank you for sharing your perspective and bringing in the issue with your husband as well. Question number two. Who is a communicator that you admire and why?
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Susie Wolfe
Well, I've mentioned his name quite often, but definitely my husband. You know, I remember at the very beginning when we came together and he said, let's stop playing the games. I'm going to call you when I have time to call you. I'm going to text when I have time. And if I don't, it's simply because I don't have time in that given working day. But I'm not going to play games. And that clarity and openness at the very beginning, it set the tone for our whole relationship. And he's someone that says, okay, we're not going to go to sleep if we've had a disagreement or we're angry with each other. And he's very good at communicating. He's very good at taking the time to sit and be in the moment and to really listen. Phones away. Not that distraction of feeling you're talking to someone who's got 10 other things going on. And I do think it's one of the things in our marriage which is such a strength at the core, that we are very open and honest with each other. We just communicate really well. And I definitely learned so much in how to be a better communicator.
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Matt Abrahams
That directness and that focus make a lot of sense for all of us. And thanks for giving us a little insight into that relationship. You have final question. What are the first three ingredients that go into a successful communication recipe?
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Susie Wolfe
Well, I think I've mentioned them a lot already. I think the first one for me is authenticity. Be who you are. Don't try and be something you think you need to be or what you think others expect you to be. You are you, and the easiest thing you can be is you. And for me, it's also the honesty, that honesty in communicating, but also of putting your hand up when you made a mistake or where you think you could do something better. And the last one for me is something that I've really realized moving into the business side of the sport is clarity. So much words get spoken, meetings get done, and you actually can narrow it all down. I always say to my team, well, give me clarity. What do you actually mean? What do we want to take from this meeting? What are the steps forward? Because sometimes there's just so much talking, so many meetings and we need to be really focused and just with clarity, communicate with each other and it just makes it so much more efficient.
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Matt Abrahams
Well, you were certainly clear in the three that you gave us authenticity, honesty and clarity. Susie this has been a lovely conversation. So many valuable insights that we can all take for our personal lives and it's just fascinating to. Your life is fascinating and thank you for sharing that. Tiki thank you so much for joining and helping. I know you are passionate about the sport and I appreciate the work you do to help bring light to it. And congratulations on the book. Susie. Driven is a very personal and yet very insightful book on many levels. Thank you and all the best.
- [26:16]
Susie Wolfe
Thank you both so much.
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Tiggy Valen
Thank you.
- [26:19]
Matt Abrahams
Thank you for joining us for another episode of Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast. To learn more about about empowering women in sport, please listen to episode 235 with Shanae Agumake. This episode was produced by Kathryn Reed, Ryan Campos and me, Matt Abrahams. Our music is from Floyd Wonder with special thanks to the Podium Podcast Company. Please be sure to subscribe and rate us. Find us on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. Also, follow us on LinkedIn, TikTok and
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Podcast Host
Instagram and check out fastersmarterio for deep
- [26:50]
Matt Abrahams
dive videos, English language learning content and our newsletter. Please consider joining our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning community at fastersmarter IO Learning you'll find video lessons, learning quests, discussion boards, my AI coach and book club opportunities. Again, that's FasterSmarter IO learning to become part of our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning community.
- [27:13]
Podcast Host
Before we wrap up, I just want to say thank you for listening. It really means a lot to hear how people all over the world are using these ideas in their own lives. It inspires me and the whole team that brings you this show. If you want more episodes and resources, feel free to follow, subscribe and explore past conversations. We're grateful for your support of Think Fast, Talk Smart.