Thinking Fellows Podcast – Episode Summary
Episode Title: Why You Should Have Children
Date: June 29, 2022
Hosts: Caleb Keith, Scott Keith, Adam Francisco
Podcast: Thinking Fellows (1517 Podcast Network)
Overview
In this episode, the Thinking Fellows discuss the reasons—cultural, theological, and practical—for having children, particularly within the Christian tradition. The hosts reflect on declining birth rates, common objections to parenthood, the significance of family and vocation, and the profound blessings and responsibilities of raising children. The conversation is framed by current debates about family and society, and is peppered with both personal anecdotes and broader statistical arguments.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
The Cultural Shift and Stigmatization of Family (03:35–07:03)
- The hosts open with a caveat: they do not wish to shame or burden those who cannot have children due to medical or personal circumstances. Their primary focus is people who can but choose not to have children and promote that attitude.
- Adam shares an experience in early 2000s England where an evangelical expressed shock at his desire for a large family, citing environmental and economic concerns. He notes this sentiment’s migration from Europe to the United States over the past two decades.
- The group observes that attitudes against having children, once rare in America, are increasingly common.
Notable Quote:
"I remember we said... yeah, well, we want children, we want three, four, whatever God gives us. And interestingly, this... person said they were aghast at that."
—Adam Francisco (04:10)
Common Arguments Against Having Kids (07:03–11:40)
- Environmental Concerns: Having children is often framed as irresponsible due to carbon footprints.
- Economic Arguments: People cite the cost of raising children.
- Personal Freedom and Risk: Many, especially women, are encouraged to consider the risks and personal sacrifices.
- Self-Knowledge: Couples often claim they need more time to "find themselves" before starting a family.
- Cycle of Harm: Some worry about repeating their parents’ mistakes.
Notable Quote:
"There's the perception out there that it is more expensive to be married than it is to be single... but if you asked some economists to crunch the numbers, that would turn out to be just flatly not true.”
—Scott Keith (10:54)
Positive Cases for Having Children
Economic & Practical Considerations (11:19–14:58)
- The hosts dispel the myth that children are always unaffordable.
- Bulk living and shared expenses often lower per capita costs.
- Arguments against kids based on economic rationales are challenged: “When I got married, my income literally like doubled overnight.” (11:19)
Cultural & Theological Analysis (14:58–17:45)
- Delay in marriage and children—a pattern now common in both society and church—is critiqued.
- The Christian teaching that people should be fruitful and multiply is foundational.
- There is concern that emphasizing career and finances over family distorts Christian priorities.
Notable Quote:
"You’re setting them up to look at their life in terms of them being the center... The whole world and every decision... on how it will affect them."
—Scott Keith (14:13)
Biblical & Christian Teachings (17:45–24:16)
- The command to "be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis) is emphasized as God's first job for humanity.
- Christ's reaffirmation of family and mission is noted from the New Testament.
- Procreation is connected to both obeying God and perpetuating the faith community.
Notable Quote:
"For a Christian to see... populating the entire earth as an evil thing... really flies in the face of God’s command in Scripture."
—Scott Keith (18:40)
- Even non-theologically, societies can't function or sustain goods, services, or governance if birth rates fall below replacement.
Vocation, Community, and the Social Good (24:16–27:05)
- Family is described as the foundational vocation and building block of both church and society.
- Community arises from families living together; the interdependence of people is essential for all occupations and services.
Notable Quote:
"Those are the people who will be the most dependent on you and whom you will be the most dependent on."
—Caleb Keith (25:21)
Marriage, Parenthood, and Wellbeing (27:05–34:00)
- Marriage’s main purpose from a biblical view includes procreation, though not exclusively.
- Children flourish best in homes with both a mother and father; statistically, such environments predict better social and life outcomes.
- Fatherlessness correlates with higher crime, dropout, and negative mental health rates.
Notable Quotes:
"You can confidently say that if a child grows up in a home with mother and father... they're going to be okay."
—Scott Keith (31:29)
"We're facing... a fatherlessness epidemic where many children in the United States are being born [into] homes where there is no father. I think it’s upwards of 49%."
—Scott Keith (32:25)
The Role of Fathers in Faith and Society (34:00–39:56)
- Keeping fathers engaged at home and in church is key to passing down faith and stabilizing communities.
- Data shows that when fathers are spiritual role models, faith transmission is dramatically higher.
- Churches have often focused on peripheral solutions—youth programs, activities—instead of supporting fatherhood and family stability.
The Blessing and Joy of Having Children (39:56–44:45)
- The hosts argue for viewing children as a blessing, not a mere duty or commodity.
- The presence of children brings joy, purpose, and a renewed sense of legacy.
- Children also anchor adults to values, faith, and a motivation for community involvement and societal improvement.
Notable Quotes:
"Children are a blessing... My life is better with my children in it. I love my children incredibly."
—Caleb Keith (40:06)
"Children civilize you. Women certainly help civilize men, but by extension children help civilize men."
—Adam Francisco (41:45)
Legacy, Community, and Caring for the Next Generation (44:45–48:45)
- The panel reflects on the wisdom of political theorists: parents shape society's future because they're invested in coming generations.
- Building community and care in older age are greatest within the family structure—children become caregivers for aging parents.
- The greatest fear isn’t that children make mistakes, but that they leave and family bonds dissolve.
Notable Quotes:
"My goal with my kids is that I raise kids who want to raise children... I want to be around my children my whole life, not just till they're 18."
—Caleb Keith (45:13)
"There's nothing better than being in a community of people that you love and that you love as family and that are here."
—Scott Keith (46:35)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- "If you're scared about raising your kids, one of the things that you can say is, you know, try to keep your marriage intact because it's really helpful. It just is. And those are just numbers."
—Scott Keith (31:29) - "We have to keep up that workforce, the production force, the distribution force... if those things stop... you're going to have... suffering over this."
—Caleb Keith (25:21) - "Having children reminds you of the values with which you were raised."
—Scott Keith (42:04) - "If I had a greatest fear in life... it's that one day my kids will just ditch me."
—Caleb Keith (47:28)
Suggested Listening Timestamps for Key Segments
- Cultural shift & stigma against children: 03:35–07:03
- Arguments against having kids & rebuttals: 07:03–14:58
- Theological/biblical perspective on family: 17:45–24:16
- Vocation and societal implications: 24:16–27:05
- Fatherlessness and its effects: 32:25–39:56
- Blessing and purpose of raising children: 39:56–44:45
- Community, legacy, and closing reflections: 44:45–48:45
Tone and Style
- Friendly, conversational, and occasionally humorous.
- Earnestly theological but accessible, blending anecdotes with statistics.
- Empathetic towards those with infertility or in non-traditional families, but candid about their convictions.
Conclusion:
The hosts make a multi-pronged case for having children, integrating economic, cultural, theological, and deeply personal motivations. They highlight the family as society’s and the church’s foundation, stress the irreplaceable role of fathers, and affirm children as joyful blessings—not mere duties. The episode balances critique of current anti-natalist trends with an invitation to rediscover the beauty and purpose of parenthood.
