This American Life: Episode 638 - Rom-Com

Overview

In Episode 638 of This American Life, titled "Rom-Com," host Ira Glass and his team delve deep into the world of romantic comedies, exploring their nuances, clichés, and the real-life parallels that mirror the tropes found in these beloved films. Through a blend of personal stories, interviews, and insightful commentary, the episode examines what makes a rom-com resonate with audiences and how real-life relationships often mirror—or diverge from—the scripted narratives of romantic comedies.

Act One: Meet Cute

Summary: The episode opens by discussing the quintessential "meet cute" scenario in romantic comedies—the charming, often quirky first encounter between the romantic leads. Ira Glass sets the stage by highlighting how these moments are crafted to make the audience believe that no matter what unfolds, the couple is destined to be together.

Notable Quotes:

• Michelle Buteau (02:07): "I used to say that it was just watching just like close-ups of two beautiful people being funny and clever and witty to each other. Yeah, being their sort of best selves or sometimes worst selves, but then eventually their best selves. And that was kind of enough for me."

• Neil Drumming (08:05): "There are so many ways to do this. In The Wedding Planner, Matthew McConaughey saves Jennifer Lopez from a runaway dumpster that is rolling down the street."

Highlights:

• Discussion on Classic Meet Cutes: Examples from films like Pretty Woman, French Kiss, and When Harry Met Sally illustrate diverse ways couples meet, emphasizing the balance between spontaneity and destiny.

• Real-Life Story: Simon Rich's fictional story "The Present," narrated by Daniel Radcliffe, portrays Professor Xander Kaplan's desperate attempt to find the perfect birthday gift for his girlfriend, Emily. This narrative underscores the lengths one might go to in order to mend a strained relationship, paralleling rom-com plotlines.

Act Two: The Obstacle

Summary: Every romantic comedy introduces obstacles that keep the protagonists apart, heightening tension and investment from the audience. This act explores common barriers in rom-coms—from unrequited love and misunderstandings to external pressures—and how they serve as pivotal points in the narrative.

Notable Quotes:

• Neil Drumming (18:28): "The obstacles can be big or little. Tom Hanks isn't over his dead ex-wife in Sleepless in Seattle."

• Michelle Buteau (09:21): "I think it sets up the chemistry like it sets up that there's something about them that you want to root for."

Highlights:

• Analysis of Obstacles: The discussion covers various types of obstacles seen in rom-coms, such as personal baggage (Notting Hill), timing misalignments (When Harry Met Sally), and internal conflicts.

• Elna Baker's Story: Michelle Buteau shares a personal story about her relationship with a boyfriend who struggled with illiteracy. This real-life obstacle mirrors the contrived barriers often found in romantic comedies, showcasing the complexities and emotional toll that genuine challenges can impose on relationships.

• Comedy Integration: The narrative transitions into how Michelle transformed her challenging relationship into comedic material, highlighting the therapeutic and cathartic power of humor in processing personal experiences.

Act Three: The Run

Summary: A staple in many romantic comedies, "the run" refers to the climactic moment where a character must race against time to express their true feelings, often leading to a heartfelt resolution. This segment explores real-life instances where individuals have mirrored this cinematic trope, emphasizing the emotional intensity such actions entail.

Notable Quotes:

• Elna Baker (35:55): "...he was going through the airport, you know, running through the Florida airport. Gets a ring out of a little, like, a gumball machine. Puts, like, however much that costs, like a quarter or whatever in the gumball machine..."

• Steve Snyder (39:03): "If there's a trajectory of my life, it's going from clingy to a little less clingy."

Highlights:

• Marisa Cohen's Father's Story: Marisa recounts how her father, Ron, intercepted a letter from her mother's ex-fiancé declaring his love. In a dramatic gesture reminiscent of a rom-com grand slam, Ron races to Dallas to propose to Debbie with a Mickey Mouse ring, symbolizing a whimsical yet heartfelt commitment.

• Steve Snyder's Real-Life Run: Steve shares his story of running through New York City to profess his love to Emily after miscommunications culminated in an urgent need to declare his feelings. This tale captures the spontaneous and often embarrassing nature of real-life romantic gestures, contrasting sharply with their polished cinematic counterparts.

• Cinematic vs. Real Feelings: The act emphasizes how real-life "runs" are fraught with unexpected complications, emotional vulnerability, and imperfect resolutions, differing significantly from the seamless finales depicted in films.

Act Four: You Had Me at Hello

Summary: The final act focuses on the resolution phase of romantic comedies—the heartfelt declarations and heartfelt moments that lead to the protagonists' happy ending. It examines how these resolutions are portrayed in media versus their occurrence in real-life relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• Michelle Buteau (46:14): "I think if I was dating someone who hated When Harry Met Sally, I don't know that I could date them."

• Elna Baker (60:53): "He didn't care. He was older than her, grew up with a bunch of sisters. Jillian is briefly astonished, considers this totally new possibility, not caring, decides she's into it, and they start kissing again."

Highlights:

• Diane Wu's Story: Diane narrates her experience in an acting class where a staged kiss with Jeffrey transitions into a genuine and messy real-life encounter. Their relationship, marked by an awkward yet sincere connection, illustrates how real-life resolutions often involve imperfections and unforeseen challenges.

• Reality vs. Romance: The act underscores that while rom-coms promise grand, sweeping resolutions, real-life relationships are typically more nuanced, with unresolved issues and ongoing development even after significant moments of connection.

• Emotional Authenticity: Diane's story highlights the beauty and complexity of genuine human connections, emphasizing that true love often endures despite—or perhaps because of—its imperfections.

Conclusion

Episode 638 of This American Life masterfully intertwines the structured world of romantic comedies with the unpredictable nature of real-life relationships. Through a series of engaging stories and thoughtful analysis, the show illuminates the allure of rom-coms, their impact on our perceptions of love, and the oftentimes messy reality that lies beneath the surface of Hollywood narratives. By presenting both the scripted and unscripted aspects of romance, the episode invites listeners to reflect on their own experiences with love, attraction, and the enduring hope that mirrors the stories shown on screen.

Additional Notable Quotes:

• Michelle Buteau (31:21): "It's very New York centric in this one because he tries to catch a cab, and of course, he can't."

• Elna Baker (37:00): "Are you crazy? This is the craziest thing I've ever heard of. I barely know you."

Final Thoughts: "Rom-Com" serves as a heartfelt homage to the romantic comedies that shape our ideals about love and relationships while grounding these narratives in the authentic, often imperfect, experiences of real people. Whether you're a fan of the genre or someone who yearns for a love story of your own, this episode offers a rich exploration of what it means to find and sustain love in a world that often feels scripted yet remains beautifully unscripted.