This American Life – Episode 875: "I Hate Mysteries"
Date: November 23, 2025
Host: Ike Sris Kundaraja (filling in for Ira Glass)
Theme: Grappling with the discomfort and allure of the unknown—true stories about mysteries both profound and ridiculous, and our very human need to know.
Overview
This episode dives into the frustration and fascination of confronting unanswerable questions. From schoolkids confronting a literal mystery box to a decades-long town enigma, unsatisfying glitter secrets, the fear and mystery of immigration raids, and a personal tale of accidental self-gaslighting—each story explores why we crave answers and how we live when we’re denied them.
Key Segments & Insights
Prologue: The Mystery Box Lesson (00:40–08:42)
- Setting: Second grade classroom, Cold Spring, NY.
- Plot: Ms. Maria introduces a game: "What's in the Box?" Kids guess, but she never reveals the answer.
- Purpose: Teach kids to tolerate not-knowing and cope with uncertainty.
- Reactions: The children are deeply disturbed by not discovering the answer, highlighting how fundamental the desire for resolution is.
- Notable Quotes:
- “The game is about guessing. It's not about knowing.” – Ms. Maria (03:51)
- “I get sick when I'm wondering. I'm allergic to wondering.” – Unnamed student (06:02)
- Resolution: After intense protest and even stories about previous attempted heists to see inside the box, Ms. Maria relents and opens it—though for listeners, the contents are withheld until the episode's end.
- Theme: The pain of enduring unsolved questions, and how deeply we're conditioned (even as kids) to crave closure.
Act I: The Hole on Mount Shasta (09:49–34:21)
The Story
- Reporting: Filmmaker Elijah Sullivan investigates a mysterious hole discovered in his northern California hometown.
- Narrative: Elijah interviews Brett, a former worker hired for a “fence-building” job that, in reality, involved digging a massive, secretive hole.
- Shady logistics: Workers misled about the job, sketchy “foreman” Joseph in a suit, endless digging funded by an apparently bottomless credit card.
- No one knows what they're looking for.
- Paranoia builds: workers suspect danger, one brings a gun; fear they’ll be disposed of if they find anything; midnight runs to haul mysterious rocks away.
- Mysteries compound: Theories abound—gold, Native artifacts, or, most fancifully, materials connected to the Mount Shasta lore of hidden Lemurian cities and the immortal Count of St. Germain.
- Even after Brett leaves (after dodging potentially serious danger), a lingering call from “Joseph” hints the digging is starting again.
- The Forest Service investigates; the hole is eventually filled, and the man who paid for the rooms says only that he was “looking for gold.”
- Elijah’s conclusion: "Sometimes when you open the box, inside there's just another box." (33:11)
- Notable Quotes:
- “I’m not afraid of a skunky beer, man.” – Brett, joking with Elijah at the start of the interview (10:59)
- “I remember looking in the hole and everybody's getting ready and I'm asking, what's going on? They're like, we're digging. And I'm like, for what? And he's like, well, we don't exactly know.” – Brett (14:56)
- “What did I let someone talk me into? Am I liable for anything? … What were we really doing?” – Brett (30:36)
- "Sometimes when you open the box, inside, there's just another box." – Elijah (33:19)
- Theme: Some mysteries never resolve. Even the pursuit of the answer can irreversibly alter lives.
Act II: Glittergate (34:54–39:39)
- Guest: Lauren Peterson
- Mystery: What industry buys the most glitter? This New York Times article teasingly withholds the answer, becoming a years-long obsession for Lauren, her family, and the internet.
- Journey: Endless theorizing (cosmetics? toothpaste? the military?), even group texts and deep dives into Reddit. Finally, the show reveals what some sources say is the truth: boats — for sparkly marine paint.
- Reaction: Disappointment and almost nostalgia for the better, more exciting guesses.
- “No. Such a disappointing answer. And I kind of wish I still thought that the US Military was glitter bombing other nations.” – Lauren (38:40)
- Theme: Once the answer is known, the magic often disappears. Sometimes a satisfying mystery is better left unsolved.
- Memorable moment: The reveal and Lauren's anticlimactic deflation (38:07-38:56)
Act III: Living in a Neighborhood of Uncertainty (40:33–55:20)
- Reporter: Michelle Navarro (CityCast Chicago)
- Setting: Southwest side of Chicago, a Mexican-American neighborhood, during a federal roundup called “Operation Midway Blitz.”
- What it's actually like:
- "Men in ski masks and mismatched tactical gear" sweep through neighborhoods.
- Families are pulled apart without warning; schools and small businesses frozen in fear.
- Everyday routines and relationships defined by the anxiety of who may disappear next.
- People adapt: locked doors, warning text chains, honking cars to alert neighbors, coded whistles and homemade booklets for ICE protocols in Halloween goodie bags.
- Even with legal status, families learn to avoid gathering places, constantly on guard.
- Michelle documents how the blurring of daily life and threat reshapes her family, her friends, and herself, finding both new solidarity and trauma in the process.
- Notable quotes:
- “They vanish … then they're gone.” – Michelle (42:25)
- “The most surprising thing about masked men running around your neighborhood and terrorizing your people is realizing that the world doesn't stop. You still have to clock in for your job. … You still have to make small talk.” (46:19)
- "Protect each other always. Happy Halloween. I guess." – From a community ICE-alert booklet (49:44)
- “It was easier to answer the question what it's like there. From outside.” (53:19)
- Theme: The slow seep of mystery—the unknowing, the unresolvable—into every corner of life, and how it mutates our routines, relationships, and sense of safety.
Act IV: The Accidental Self-Kidnapper (55:20–60:02)
- Guest: Comedian Muhanad El Shaki
- Story: Determined to make conversation with his Uber driver, Muhanad comments on every song… for 20 minutes, getting no response. Suddenly his own standup set starts playing through the car speakers, deepening the mystery.
- The punchline: His phone had been unknowingly Bluetoothed the whole time—he had been playing (and complimenting!) his own playlist and jokes.
- Notable quote:
- “You're getting a good deal here, I'll tell you that. People usually pay to hear this voice. You're getting this for free. … I think this is it for me.” – Muhanad, realizing his mistake (59:08)
- Theme: Sometimes the real mystery is ourselves—and our capacity for comic self-deception.
The Reveal: What Was in the Box? (62:21–62:39)
- In a meta twist, even at the episode’s end, the contents of the original classroom "mystery box" are shared half-jokingly: “Your mama” (62:35), then, "It's a bottle of Absol," (62:37) leaving the line between genuine answer and ongoing tease deliciously ambiguous.
- Moral: Not all mysteries are meant to be solved. Some are meant to be savored.
Memorable Moments & Quotes with Timestamps
- “I get sick when I'm wondering. I'm allergic to wondering.” – Second grader (06:02)
- “Sometimes when you open the box, inside there's just another box.” – Elijah Sullivan (33:19)
- “No. Such a disappointing answer. And I kind of wish I still thought that the US Military was glitter bombing other nations.” – Lauren Peterson (38:40)
- “The most surprising thing about masked men running around your neighborhood and terrorizing your people is realizing that the world doesn't stop.” – Michelle Navarro (46:19)
- “You're kidnapping me and gaslighting me. This is crazy!” – Muhanad El Shaki (58:08)
Episode Structure & Timestamps
- Prologue – The Mystery Box: 00:40–08:42
- Act I – Mount Shasta Hole: 09:49–34:21
- Act II – Glittergate: 34:54–39:39
- Act III – Chicago Neighborhood Life: 40:33–55:20
- Act IV – The Cab Ride: 55:20–60:02
- Box Reveal: 62:21–62:39
Tone & Style
- Warm, witty, and humane—oscillating between playful (the box, the glitter), harrowing (the ICE raids), and self-deprecating (the Uber story).
- Deeply empathetic and reflective, embodying This American Life’s signature style of storytelling.
Final Takeaway
Across laughter and heartbreak, “I Hate Mysteries” insists that our need to know—what’s in the box, under the mountain, or happening in our own lives—is universal, inescapable, and sometimes, gloriously unsatisfied. The episode gently argues: in mystery, sometimes the real answers are about us.