This American Life – Episode 881: I Want What I Want

Date: February 22, 2026
Host: Ira Glass

Overview

In "I Want What I Want," This American Life dives into the stories of people who deliberately choose paths or actions most of us consciously avoid. Whether it’s seeking out a bee sting, embracing personal gluttony, rekindling connections with exes, or making controversial decisions in a court of law, the episode examines what happens when people go after what they want—even when others wouldn’t. The stories are personal, touching, sometimes funny, and frequently surprising, all circling around the theme of pursuing desires against the mainstream.

Act 1: The Boys and the Bees (00:42 – 08:49)

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Ira Glass introduces a new film, "The Boys and the Bees," about a family of beekeepers in Georgia—particularly two sons, Carver (6) and Arrow (4), who approach beekeeping quite differently.
• Carver is careful and cautious, abiding by the rules, while Arrow is rambunctious and careless, having been stung many times; Carver, remarkably, has never been stung.
• The family deliberately spends abundant time together in nature, nurturing curiosity and resilience.
• A central, moving moment: Carver chooses to experience a bee sting for the first time, wanting to share an experience with his family.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Carver’s Determination
  “Yeah, everybody been in...my family except for me.” (03:00, Carver)
• Father-Son Dialogue on Fear and Pride
  “I'm telling you right now, son, look at Daddy. It's going to hurt.” (04:18, Nehemiah Ray)
  “Just a little nervous.” (05:32, Carver)
  After the sting: “Do you wish you didn’t do it?...”
  “I still feel a little proud of myself.” (07:48, Carver)
• Reflections on Stepping Up “When you decide to do something that other people do not do, it makes you feel big.” (08:49, Ira Glass)

Timestamps

• 00:42 – Introduction of the "Boys and the Bees" film and family
• 02:10 – Build-up to Carver’s decision
• 05:02 – The bee sting moment
• 07:48 – Carver’s pride and reflection
• 08:49 – Ira Glass connects the story to broader episode theme

Act 2: Lessons in Shellfishness – John Tothill on Gluttony (10:15 – 25:20)

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Comedian John Tothill tells the story of Edward Dando, a 19th-century British oyster glutton: he’d eat enormous quantities of oysters publicly, refuse to pay, claim not to know restaurants needed payment, and consistently returned to his beloved oysters after release from jail.
• Tothill uses Dando’s story as a springboard to discuss gluttony versus greed, lamenting that society has lost the celebratory nature of gluttony in favor of joyless, optimizing greed.
• He shares his own brush with taking personal desire too far: after surviving malaria for a clinical trial, he nearly dies from ignoring appendicitis while performing at the Edinburgh Fringe, unwilling to cancel shows for his "gluttony for life."
• Argues that wholeheartedly embracing desires (like Dando did with oysters) can be a meaningful, even virtuous act—but also cautions listeners with the consequences.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Gluttony vs Greed
  “We don’t live in an age of gluttony. Not really... We live in an age of appalling greed.” (13:14, John Tothill)
• On Personal Near-Death
  “My appendix ruptured days ago and your appendix has now, in her words, obliterated.” (22:17, John Tothill recounting surgeon's words)
• On Living for Desire “Be an Edward Dando. Eat the cheesy chips, drink the champagne, refuse to go hungry in a land of plenty...” (24:50, John Tothill)

Timestamps

• 10:58 – John Tothill begins the story of Edward Dando
• 15:45 – Meditation on gluttony vs. greed
• 20:00 – Trial at the Edinburgh Fringe and medical crisis
• 24:50 – Closing rally to embrace desire

Act 3: The Joy of Ex (25:55 – 42:19)

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Evan Roberts embarks on a project to reconnect with all 17 of his exes, but it’s clear his real focus is on the "Big Ex," Keith, who’s spurned all previous attempts at reconnection.
• Their awkward, cathartic exchange (over Zoom) becomes a meditation on memory, regret, love’s endurance, and whether it's ever possible—or desirable—to be friends with exes.
• Evan learns that Keith’s dramatic "void card" was a deliberate attempt to cause pain; Keith, in turn, is surprised by his own emotions and by Evan’s persistence.
• Both men end up acknowledging regret for poor communication and lost friendship, ultimately finding a fragile sort of closure—and even tentative friendship.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Old Breakups “I feel like the relationship we had exists very much in the time that we were together. And so to revisit it, to me feels like going to a past life.” (28:33, Evan Roberts)
• On Closure
  "I have wanted you in my life since we broke up. I have needed you." (37:22, Keith, through tears)
• On Holding On
  "Maybe digging up all this old stuff with your exes isn't just a masochistic exercise." (41:09, Evan Roberts)

Memorable Exchange

• The Accidental Text
  Keith: "Oh, my God. See, this is the good thing about stalking somebody who doesn't understand their phone." (40:06)
• Resolution
  “He said Keith came through town. They didn't get dinner, but he's okay with it. He doesn't have any more questions for him.” (42:03, Evan Roberts)

Timestamps

• 25:55 – Introduction: the exes project
• 31:54 – Keith finally agrees to talk
• 33:12 onwards – The recorded conversation, misunderstandings
• 37:22–38:57 – Emotional climax, truth-telling, mutual regret
• 40:47 – Letting go vs. holding on
• 42:03 – Final update, closure

Act 4: The Lawyer, the Judge, and the Wardrobe (44:18 – 59:47)

Key Discussion Points & Insights

• Zoe Chace reports on an explosive moment in federal court in Texas: a judge declares a mistrial in a high-profile antifa trial—not due to evidence, but a defense attorney’s shirt depicting civil rights leaders.
• The trial is already contentious, with a large jury pool expressing strong anti-ICE sentiments; the judge, visibly rattled by the political rifts, uses the shirt as grounds for mistrial.
• Chace and Ira Glass discuss the rarity of such a decision and consider whether the shirt was a pretext to restart jury selection due to jurors’ views.
• Ultimately, the story illustrates the impossibility of creating truly “neutral ground” in today’s polarized nation—even in the courtroom.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the Judge’s Frustration “There are very clear rules in this court about having demonstratives in the courtroom... and about what you’re wearing. That shirt has a politically charged message. … I have no choice but to declare a mistrial.” (53:07+, Zoe Chace quoting the judge)
• Judicial Lament “I’m disgusted by where America is today, how hopelessly divided we are over politics. … I don’t want my sons to fight in the next civil war.” (58:49, Judge, via Zoe Chace)
• Ira’s Sarcastic Takeaway “I think your big conclusion today is you're saying we are a very divided country.” (59:47, Ira Glass)

Timestamps

• 44:18 – Zoe Chace sets the scene, Judge Pittman’s showmanship
• 46:20 – Voir dire and unexpected anti-ICE sentiment from jurors
• 52:56 – Shirt controversy, judge erupts, mistrial declared
• 56:09 – Legal perspectives on mistrials
• 58:49 – Judge’s speech on national division
• 59:47 – Reflection on impossibility of neutrality in polarized times

Episode Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Carver’s bee sting captures the combination of fear, curiosity, and pride in a child’s journey of self-discovery.
• John Tothill’s ode to gluttony standing against a culture of “optimization,” bringing humor and a brush with mortality.
• The emotional Zoom between Evan and Keith offers rare vulnerability, showing both the pain and hope possible in revisiting lost relationships.
• The shirt-induced mistrial—an offbeat, highly specific yet deeply symbolic moment about the challenges of fairness and neutrality in an era of political extremes.

Conclusion

"I Want What I Want" vividly explores the emotional and moral complexity of going after one's wants—especially when doing so crosses social, emotional, or legal boundaries. From the intimacy of family rites of passage, through comic self-endangerment, to the radical hope of friendship after heartache, and all the way to the drama of a courtroom, the episode’s stories challenge listeners to consider: What do you want, and what might it cost to chase it?