Podcast Summary:

This Is Actually Happening (Wondery)
Episode 347 (Rebroadcast #259): "What if you survived a serial killer?"
Air Date: January 7, 2025
Guest: Jane Borowski
Host: Wit Misseldine

Overview

This harrowing episode features the true story of Jane Borowski, the only known survivor of the Connecticut River Valley serial killer. Jane recounts her early life, her recovery after the brutal attack in 1988—when she was seven months pregnant—and her long struggle with trauma, PTSD, and the challenge of reclaiming her life. Her testimony is a courageous exploration of survival, healing, and the ongoing impact of unresolved violence.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Jane's Early Life and Background

[03:11 - 11:55]

• Jane describes a childhood marked by instability—her parents divorced when she was young, and her mother struggled to provide.
• “I was a pretty happy child. I was pretty carefree, I'd say.” — Jane [03:18]
• As a teenager, Jane struggled academically, dropped out of school at 17, and started working various odd jobs.
• Describes moving in with her boyfriend Dennis’ family in New Hampshire, and an unplanned pregnancy at 22 that led to strain in their relationship.

The Night of the Attack

[11:56 - 21:36]

• Jane attends a county fair alone and plays coin-operated games with Dennis’s mother, collecting prizes for her unborn baby.
• On her way home, she stops for a soda at a vending machine late at night.
• A man approaches, pretending to ask about a payphone, then suddenly attacks her—opening her car door, threatening her at knifepoint, and ultimately stabbing her 27 times.
• “I just started screaming as loud as I could. I screamed so loud, I broke blood vessels in my eyes.” — Jane [13:08]
• Despite severe injuries and blood loss, Jane manages to escape, drive to a friend’s house, and call for help, convinced she wouldn’t survive.
• She vividly recalls the attacker’s chilling calmness and lack of panic (“He never showed any urgency. He never showed stress. I don’t even really want to say he showed anger. He was so calm and cool.” — Jane [18:56])

The Hospital and Aftermath

[23:12 - 30:32]

• In the ER, as medical staff discover more stab wounds, Jane is fixated on her unborn child’s survival.
• She endures intensive surgery for two collapsed lungs, a lacerated liver, slashed jugular, and multiple tendon injuries, but miraculously, her baby is unharmed.
• Jane is forced to stay under police protection in the hospital, learning that she is connected with several unsolved crimes in the area—the Connecticut River Valley serial killer, whose previous victims did not survive.
• “How many survived? And they said, ‘You’re the only one.’” — Jane [29:53]
• Jane is released from the hospital with no continued protection, consumed by fear and paranoia about her attacker finding her.
• “He knows my name, so he’s eventually going to find out where I’m living. Is he going to want to find me and finish me off?” — Jane [31:02]

Struggling with Trauma and the Challenges of Recovery

[30:33 - 42:26]

• Jane experiences intense nightmares, hyper-vigilance, relentless “why did this happen to me?” rumination, and deep depression.
• Social support feels complicated; people offer well-meaning gratitude for her survival, but she feels misunderstood:
  • “Okay, yeah, I’m maybe lucky to be alive, but how lucky am I that this happened to me?” — Jane [36:57]
• She fights to reclaim normalcy, especially after her daughter is born. Her newborn struggles with health complications, linked back to the trauma Jane endured.

Lifelong Impact, Searching for Answers, and Turning Point

[42:27 - 54:22]

• Jane eventually participates in a TV segment on Unsolved Mysteries, learning more about the other victims and beginning to research serial killers herself in a bid to understand her attacker.
• In subsequent years, she develops a gambling addiction as a form of escape, which strains her family and leads to criminal charges and a brief jail sentence.
• Jane is finally diagnosed with PTSD.
  • “I put the paper on the couch and I said, okay, I have PTSD... And in my mind, I’m thinking, I’m going to have PTSD for the rest of my life. My life is never going to change. So now what? And [my therapist] just looked at me and she said, ‘We begin healing you.’ And I have never wanted to hear those words more in my life than I did at that moment.” — Jane [52:00]

Healing, Forgiveness, and Moving Forward

[54:23 - End]

• Through extensive counseling, Jane confronts the layers of trauma and self-blame, especially after receiving hate mail blaming her for the attack.
• With therapeutic help, Jane burns these hurtful letters and begins the slow process of self-acceptance and forgiveness—focusing on her future, not her pain.
• “There were two things I had to do to really set myself free. I had to say, okay, Jane, this happened, but not allow it to control me anymore... And with accepting that this happened to me, another thing I had to do was forgive.” — Jane [56:24]
• Jane finds a sense of peace and happiness, and develops a close bond with her daughter, who survives serious odds and becomes a mother herself.
• Inspired by misrepresentations of her story on other true crime podcasts, Jane and her daughter launch the Invisible Tears podcast to center victims and survivors rather than glorifying serial killers.
  • “If we keep talking about him, the serial killer, then we’re glorifying him… I want to try to change that and start focusing on victims, survivors and families.” — Jane [58:51]
• She encourages others with PTSD that healing is possible: "I want people out there that suffer from PTSD but are afraid to move forward and seek help. I want them to know that they can live a happy, normal life. I’m proof. I’m doing it.” — Jane [59:05]
• She concludes: “I now know that I control me. I control how I feel. I control my destiny.” — Jane [1:00:46]

Notable Quotes

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|----------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:48 | Jane Borowski | “Why did this happen to me? Why did he do this to me? ...it eats at you. And it ate at me.” | | 13:08 | Jane Borowski | “I just started screaming as loud as I could. I screamed so loud, I broke blood vessels...” | | 18:56 | Jane Borowski | “He never showed any urgency. He never showed stress...He was so calm and cool.” | | 29:53 | Jane Borowski | “How many survived? And they said, ‘You’re the only one.’” | | 36:57 | Jane Borowski | “Yeah, I’m maybe lucky to be alive, but how lucky am I that this happened to me?” | | 52:00 | Jane Borowski | “‘We begin healing you.’ And I have never wanted to hear those words more in my life...” | | 56:24 | Jane Borowski | “There were two things I had to do to really set myself free… forgive.” | | 58:51 | Jane Borowski | “If we keep talking about him, the serial killer, then we’re glorifying him.” | | 59:05 | Jane Borowski | “I want people out there that suffer from PTSD...I want them to know that they can live a happy, normal life. I’m proof.” | | 1:00:46 | Jane Borowski | “I now know that I control me. I control how I feel. I control my destiny.” |

Important Segment Timestamps

• Early Life to Night of Attack: [03:11 – 21:36]
• Hospital Recovery and Realization of Serial Killer Link: [23:12 – 30:32]
• PTSD, Depression, and Family Impact: [30:33 – 42:26]
• Path to Healing—Therapy and Acceptance: [54:23 – End]

Memorable Moments

• Jane’s desperate, strategic resistance during her attack, even while seven months pregnant.
• Her realization, while hospitalized, that she is the only survivor of a notorious serial killer whose identity remains unknown.
• The impact of the crime not only on Jane, but on her daughter, whose survival was a “second battle for life” after birth complications.
• The cathartic act of burning hate mail with her therapist as part of her healing.
• Jane's initiative to start her own podcast (Invisible Tears) focused on centering survivors’ voices and experiences.

Tone & Language

Jane’s narrative is authentic, unfiltered, and emotionally raw—at times despairing, at times hopeful, always honest. The host’s tone is compassionate and respectful, allowing Jane’s voice to remain central throughout.

Final Reflections

Jane Borowski’s account is a moving narrative of resilience, trauma, and the difficult path to healing after surviving unimaginable violence. The episode does not focus on sensationalizing the crime or perpetrator, but on Jane’s lived experience, her long journey towards self-acceptance, and her advocacy for victim-centered approaches to storytelling and healing.

For more on Jane and to hear survivor-centered perspectives, listen to her podcast, Invisible Tears.