This Is Actually Happening – Episode 384: What if you were run over three times?

Release Date: November 18, 2025
Guest: Nassim Ra
Host: Wit Misseldine

Episode Overview

This gripping episode features Nassim Ra, who recounts her extraordinary survival after being run over not once, but three times by a car in a New Jersey crosswalk. Through her heartfelt and candid narrative, Nassim explores themes of identity, trauma, vulnerability, recovery, and transformation. Beyond the jaw-dropping physical ordeal, Nassim’s story dives into her cultural upbringing, the evolution of her self-worth, and how trauma reshaped every aspect of her life. The episode is a meditation on resilience, the power of community, and reclaiming agency over one’s story.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Childhood and Cultural Identity

(02:34–12:09)

• Background: Nassim grew up as the child of Indian Muslim immigrants in a predominantly white town. Her parents modeled resilience—her father, a doctor; her mother, a pioneering stockbroker (and poker player) in the 1970s.
• Struggles with Identity: She felt different, uncomfortable in her own skin, and ashamed of her heritage, leading to deep insecurity and loneliness as a child and teen.
• Notable Moment:
  • “All of that confidence that I had been building, or trying to build, pretty much flew out the window at that moment. It just reinforced that I was different, that I was not fitting in.” (08:00) – Nassim, reflecting on a boyfriend’s backhanded compliment about her not being white.
• Turning Point: A friend, Lisa, tells her:
  • “If we don’t like ourselves, why should anybody else like us?” (10:50)
    This sticks with Nassim and seeds her later growth.

2. Adulthood, Achievement, and Self-Discovery

(13:51–20:00)

• Ambition: In adulthood, Nassim found her footing in business and tech. She pursued challenging roles to build confidence, ultimately earning two master’s degrees.
• Intercultural Marriage: Married a Christian man, identified the importance of cross-cultural tolerance and acceptance, especially post-9/11.
• Voice & Representation: Sought to amplify Muslim women’s voices, enrolling in Columbia’s journalism program—though she ultimately stayed in tech to support her growing family.
• Contentment: By her 50s, Nassim felt proud and satisfied, balancing career and family—a rare, happy stability.

3. The Accident – The Day Everything Changed

(20:00–33:44)

• The Incident:
  • May 21, 2018, after a successful workday, Nassim is hit by a car in a crosswalk—initially standing, then run over as the driver accelerates, reverses, and accelerates again.
  • “And then all of a sudden, the driver accelerates… and she drove over me. …Then the driver reverses and drives over me a second time... then the car went forward and snapped me back to the moment. And it drove over me a third time.” (20:45–22:10)
• Near-Death Experience:
  • Reflects on her life and her children in these moments:
    “I started thinking about my kids. My kids were 9, 11, and 13 at the time. I didn’t want them to lose a mother. … Why didn’t I write them letters?” (22:35)
• Miraculous Survival:
  • Despite severe trauma, doctors find no broken bones or catastrophic internal injuries—a medical miracle.
  • “I say that nothing was broken, but everything was broken, because the me that woke up Monday morning was nowhere to be found.” (24:00, also echoed at 51:09)

4. Immediate Aftermath and Emotional Fallout

(24:00–37:00)

• Physical & Emotional Recovery:

  • Unable to move, in excruciating pain, Nassim struggles with dependence on others, which feels humiliating for her “self-sufficient” persona.
  • Her children are traumatized by seeing her injuries.
  • “My daughter had to wash the blood out of my hair, and that still haunts her.” (27:40)

• Invisible Wounds:

  • Suffers a traumatic brain injury, making even basic tasks overwhelming:
    “Simple things were no longer easy. …somebody asking me to do something or even just call them back, it’s too much responsibility.” (30:20)

• Isolation and Vulnerability:

  • Begins to realize the ripple effect of trauma across her family and community.
  • Recounts her brother flying out to help her, but she sends him home, only to desperately want to help him after the loss of his dog—a moment that helps her see the need for reciprocal support.

5. Confronting the Driver & Unresolved Emotions

(33:44–37:00)

• Court Appearance:
  • Sees the driver in court, who shows no remorse—deeply painful for Nassim.
  • “When I saw her and there was no remorse. There was just nothing. I shuddered.” (35:41)
  • Despite theories on the driver’s actions (possible distraction, lack of insurance, fleeing the scene), Nassim is left with unanswered questions and no closure.

6. The Long Road Back – Acceptance, Therapy, and Transformation

(37:00–45:00)

• Return to Work:

  • Returns to work too soon, refusing to hide her scars, even using gold glitter instead of concealer: “I even put gold glitter because I had scars all over my face instead of concealer to hide them. I was embracing this new enlighten me. But the enlighten me didn’t last.” (38:00)
  • Struggles to accept that she can’t “think” her way back to her old self. Realizes she must find new strengths and adapt:
    “I realized I had to reframe ‘I can’t do that’ to ‘I can do this now.’” (40:30)

• Therapy & Kintsugi:

  • Therapist introduces her to kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing pottery with gold, making the breaks part of its beauty:
    “That concept really helped me move forward because it gave me a way to think about my accident and my issues and challenges, not as a victim, but as this is part of my journey.” (41:05)

• Deeper Connections:

  • Sharing her struggles leads to richer relationships and a sense of community, as others open up about their own hardships.
  • Learns that her previous “supermom” persona made her seem unapproachable. Now, embracing vulnerability, she becomes more authentic.

7. Forgiveness, Self-Preservation, and Shifting Perspectives

(45:00–49:00)

• Letting Go:
  • Practices a kind of radical empathy for those who couldn’t show up for her (friends or even the driver); recognizes that everyone’s wounds and defenses are complex and often hidden.
  • “We all have these complex universes of experience in our lives. We don’t know what triggers each other. Some people probably couldn’t show up for me after the accident, because maybe they couldn’t see me broken…” (46:45)
• Recognition of ‘Invisible’ Pain:
  • Wrestling with the invisible nature of her trauma—outsiders can’t see the toll it’s taken, feeding self-doubt.

8. Celebration, Memoir, and Lessons Learned

(49:00–51:30)

• Unbreakable Day:
  • Family decides to celebrate the accident anniversary as “Unbreakable Day,” focusing on survival and community rather than the trauma.
  • “We decided that we were going to make the day of the accident a holiday and celebrate that I survived. Not that I almost died, but that I survived. That I’m like a superhero. I got run over three times and lived.” (49:35)
• Writing and Outreach:
  • Writes a memoir, The Unexpected Benefits of Being Run Over, with no expectation beyond helping her kids or maybe a few others, but the book resonates widely in the traumatic brain injury community and beyond.
  • “If I can help one or two people, at least I’ve put it out, I’ve paid it forward, I’ve done my part.” (50:35)
• Control Over Your Story:
  • Closing wisdom:
    “We choose the words that we use to talk about what happened. We choose whether we talk about it as a victim or as part of our journey. …by making those choices we take the control back from some very tough moments and we give ourselves the grace to be okay and to move forward.” (51:10)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Nothing was broken, but everything was broken because the me that woke up Monday morning was nowhere to be found.”
  — Nassim Ra (00:43 & 24:00 & 51:09)

• “I realized I had to reframe ‘I can’t do that’ to ‘I can do this now.’”
  — Nassim Ra (40:30)

• “That concept really helped me move forward because it gave me a way to think about my accident…not as a victim, but as this is part of my journey.”
  — Nassim Ra, on learning about kintsugi (41:05)

• “We choose the words that we use to talk about what happened…We make all of those choices and by making those choices we take control back from very tough moments and give ourselves the grace to be okay and to move forward.”
  — Nassim Ra (51:10)

Important Timestamps

• 02:34 – Introduction to Nassim’s family background and early struggles with identity
• 10:50 – Pivotal advice from friend Lisa: self-acceptance begins with oneself
• 20:45–23:00 – Step-By-Step recounting of the accident and her near-death reflections
• 27:40 – Children’s reaction to her injuries
• 30:20 – Cognitive challenges and emotional fallout of brain injury
• 33:44 – Confrontation with the driver in court, absence of remorse
• 38:00–41:05 – Return to work, gold glitter, therapy, and the metaphor of kintsugi
• 45:00 – Compassion for those who couldn’t show up; understanding unseen struggles
• 49:35 – Creation of “Unbreakable Day”
• 50:51 – Impact of her memoir, helping others in the TBI community
• 51:10 – Final message on reclaiming one’s narrative

Tone and Style

Nassim’s storytelling is candid, warm, self-aware, and emotionally raw. She does not shy away from describing her vulnerability, struggles with trauma, and the bittersweet lessons learned on her journey. Her tone shifts from humor (worrying about her lost shoe immediately after the accident) to poignant reflection on the nature of resilience, forgiveness, and the search for meaning in survival.

Final Reflection

This episode provides not just a harrowing account of physical survival but a crystalline perspective on loss, acceptance, and the power found in reframing one’s journey. Nassim’s story is ultimately one of hope: an invitation to lean into vulnerability, embrace community, and choose to celebrate not just survival, but transformation.

Guest info:

• Nassim Ra’s memoir: The Unexpected Benefits of Being Run Over
• Contact details and links: [See episode show notes]

This summary omits sponsor messages and non-content segments for focus and clarity.