Podcast Summary: This Is Actually Happening

Episode 386: What if you woke up with someone’s hands around your neck?
Air Date: December 2, 2025
Guest: Amy Benedict
Host: Whit Misseldine

Episode Overview

This gripping and deeply personal episode features actress Amy Benedict as she recounts how her life was transformed by surviving a brutal attack and rape in her Los Angeles apartment in 1991. Through her vivid storytelling, Amy explores the intricate connections between trauma, identity, recovery, and the enduring impacts of violence — all while maintaining remarkable candor and introspection. The episode lays bare not just the attack, but the lifelong aftermath, as Amy wrestles to reclaim her body, career, and sense of self.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Amy's Background & Early Life (02:52–17:33)

• Family Dynamics:
  Amy grew up in a loving but complex family in Missouri. She reflects on her father's ambitions, her mother's experience with trauma, and her own quietness within a talkative family.

• Childhood Accidents & Need for Attention:
  Amy repeatedly injured herself as a child, questioning if it was partly a way of being seen in a busy household.

• First Steps Into Acting:
  Discovering the power of performance and mimicry gave Amy her first sense of being recognized and understood:

  “I could get on the stage, I could play somebody else ... I was seen, or I was understood, or I was affecting people. That was a transformative experience for me and I wanted to keep doing it." (05:39)

• Adolescence & College:
  Amy describes feeling like an outcast, her struggles with shyness, and key experiences in theater and at Northwestern University.

2. Early Adult Challenges and New Confidence (17:33–19:30)

• Family Upheaval:
  Her father's affair and sudden remarriage shattered her belief in her family's stability and affected her sense of safety and trust.
• Independence & Early Career:
  Amy moved to Los Angeles, navigated the early stages of an acting career, and supported herself after family financial struggles.
• Emergence of Self:
  By 1991, she finally began to reconcile her self-image, achieving a sense of confidence:

  “I was starting to like who I was. I was really finding my way.” (16:58)

3. The Night of the Attack (19:30–24:23)

• The Assault:
  Amy describes the night of March 2–3, 1991, where she awoke to a stranger strangling her:

  “When I woke up, I realized that I couldn’t breathe because there was somebody’s hands around my neck. There was somebody sitting on my stomach, straddling me.” (19:43)

• Survival Tactics:
  Drawing on her intellect and acting skills, she tries to humanize herself to the attacker:

  “All I had was my mind, this, like, precious commodity that I just began to appreciate... My weapon was my mind.” (21:00)

• Fear for Her Sister:
  Despite her own terror, Amy’s main concern is protecting her sleeping sister in another room:

  “The other thing is, I did not want my sister to wake up. If she comes out here, then he could kill us both.” (23:00)

• Aftermath:
  When the attacker finally leaves, the gravity and unreality of the trauma hit her:

  “That was something that happened to somebody else ... It's not supposed to happen to me. It kind of dawned on me at that point that I thought, oh my God, I'm never going to be the same again.” (24:03)

4. Immediate and Lasting Aftermath (24:23–43:17)

• Reporting & Support:
  Amy recalls the process of calling the police and rape hotline, the importance of immediate support, and her detailed memory aiding the investigation.
• First Social Reactions:
  She grapples with how friends and family respond — some with steadfast support, others drifting away.

  “I did lose some friends, and that was hard. It was too painful for some people, just too enormous to have to address.” (32:37)

• Therapy Experiences:
  Amy’s initial experience with counseling is invalidating; she eventually finds the right therapist, bringing relief.

5. The Investigation and the Attacker’s Death (43:17–47:00)

• Police Update:
  Months later, Amy learns she was the first of up to 19 victims. The attacker, Robert Joseph Kovosh, is killed by police.

  “His crimes escalated ... He was released from prison, like a week before he attacked me … so I was his first victim.” (45:26)

• Conflicted Relief:
  Amy is relieved she won’t have to testify in court but notes the surreal nature of learning about his death while on a movie set.

6. Career, Trauma, and Coincidence (47:00–54:00)

• Intersecting Life & Work:
  In the aftermath, Amy’s career takes off in roles chillingly close to her real-life experience, including playing a strangled woman on film and TV.

  “Trying to recover from assault is super hard. But especially in this business, no one really cares what happened to you... But something about going through a trauma like that, I felt like my acting was deeper and richer.” (51:29)

• Recurring Symbolism:
  The LA Marathon — the backdrop of her attack — becomes a trigger, as does the anniversary date of March 3rd.

7. Healing and Reclaiming Power (54:00–End)

• Turning the Anniversary Around:
  Years later, Amy trains for and runs the LA Marathon, deliberately finishing at 6:05 AM — the moment her attacker left — transforming the symbol of trauma into one of victory.

  “Maybe I can turn this date into a moment of triumph, an anniversary of the day I triumphed, because I did triumph on that day. I saved my own life.” (56:33) “I crossed the finish line at six hours and five minutes, which was the exact time that the rapist left my apartment, 6:05am. It was the most amazing moment of my life.” (57:08)

• No Longer Haunted:
  After this experience, Amy is finally freed from the “dark cloud” that haunted every March.

  “He said, ‘It’s March 5th.’ ... And then I realized, oh, my God, it’s gone. That thing, that dark cloud—that lead balloon... it was gone. And it has been gone ever since.” (57:45)

• New Life and Acceptance:
  She marries a supportive partner, has children, and forges a new identity scarred, but not defined, by trauma.

  “I will never be that girl that I was on March 2, 1991. But I’m this new person. I was able to live my life, and that was a gift.” (55:53)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On survival tactics:

  “The best thing I had was my mind ... My weapon was my mind.” — Amy Benedict (21:00)

• On the realization of trauma:

  “Oh my God, I’ve just been raped. I couldn’t really process that, you know. That was something that happened to somebody else ... It's not supposed to happen to me.” — Amy Benedict (24:10)

• On the impact of trauma on identity:

  “I just started to feel comfortable in my body. And I didn’t want him to take that from me. ... I didn’t want him to take my sexuality away from me.” — Amy Benedict (34:55)

• On the meaning of performance after trauma:

  “Something about going through a trauma like that, I felt like my acting was deeper and richer. … I didn’t want him to take my career from me ... It was a way of getting my power back.” — Amy Benedict (51:50)

• On transforming the anniversary of the attack:

  “Maybe I can turn this date into a moment of triumph … because I did triumph on that day. I saved my own life.” — Amy Benedict (56:33)

• On ultimate healing:

  “And then I realized, oh, my God, it’s gone. That thing, that dark cloud—that lead balloon that I carried around with me for three weeks every year—it was gone. And it has been gone ever since.” — Amy Benedict (57:45)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:52–17:33: Amy’s family, early years, discovery of acting and identity
• 19:30–24:23: The attack and Amy's survival strategies
• 24:23–32:37: Immediate aftermath, calling for help, friends and family reactions
• 43:17–47:00: Investigation update; her attacker’s death and complex relief
• 47:00–54:00: How trauma shaped Amy’s acting career and ongoing anniversaries
• 54:00–57:45: Running the marathon to reclaim the anniversary, final healing

Tone and Approach

• The episode is candid, raw, reflective, and courageous. Amy Benedict’s storytelling is open and vivid, marked by moments of pain, vulnerability, dark humor, and ultimately hope.

For listeners and survivors, Amy’s story offers a powerful narrative of trauma, the complexities of recovery, and the winding road to reclaiming one’s life.